but that was the best thing she's ever said


you’re seeing this right. the Shrek!AU got fanfic now.

thanks to @themusicalbookworm for her inspirational edits, and @briirens, @bishoujohiyo, @paperypiper, and @kurisuumakise for inspiration and constructive commentary. this goes out to you.

Lord Fujisaki took a dainty sip of his martini, gazing longingly into the depths of the magic reflection. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall,” he began, when upon the mirror’s shimmering surface a face appeared…the face of an eerie, pale, dark-eyed girl. “I hope you’re not just asking for the weather this time, Father,” she said, scowling.

“No,” Fuji cooed, stirring his pinkie in his drink. “Hiiro, show me the princess.” The mirror’s surface rippled, revealing a muscular, strapping man wearing an apron, who was evidently trapped in a kitchen. The mirror showed him scrubbing the floor, occasionally wiping sweat off his brow.

“Not Princess Daikoku!” Fuji screamed, throwing his martini across the room.

The mirror’s surface rippled again, this time opening on the scene of a room filled to brimming with coins. In the midst of them, another young man sat engrossed in counting them, counting, counting. The clink of the coins rang in Fuji’s ears, although the mirror was silent.

“SHOW ME A FEMALE PRINCESS,” he bellowed at the mirror, and Hiiro obligingly changed the channel away from Princess Ebisu’s taxing endeavors.

Any Chance I Can Get You To Stop Staring At Me pt. 2 (Pete Dunne X Reader)

You asked and now you shall receive! Part 2 for you lovelies. 

You were infuriated by Dunne. And the fact you had to see him again tomorrow  was making you even more furious. You hoped with every fibre of your being that he didn’t win the championship so that you didn’t have to present him with the damn belt. You sat in your hotel room with Finn and Neville who’d shown up for tomorrow’s show. 

‘You should have seen his face, it’s was hilarious. I don’t think he’s ever had a woman superkick him like that before. Let alone been rejected before. It was the best thing  I saw all day’ Finn said and you chuckled a little. A flash back to the pure shock on Dunne’s face had made your day. 

‘Are you really surprised? She did something very similar to you if I remember rightly’  Neville said and you snorted remembering when Finn had hit on you on your first day there. You punched him in the face before storming off. You’d  become best friends ever since. 

‘What did he actually say to you?’ Finn asked and you rolled your eyes. 

‘I got fed of him staring at me all day. And I mean ALL DAY. And stormed up to him and said ‘’Is there any chance I can get you to stop staring at me?’’ to which he responded ‘’There’s a few things I can think of’’ and you guys know wha temper is like’ You said and they burst out laughing. 

‘He’d been warned by Hunter earlier too’ Finn said still laughing. 

‘Seriously though, I’m wearing heels tomorrow’ You said and both men chuckled. 

‘Just don’t break him before it begins’ Neville said and you raised an eyebrow. 

‘What, don’t give him a taste of his own medicine?’ You asked and both men chuckled again. 

‘Get some sleep Y/N. I’ll come get you when we need to leave’ Finn said as he and Neville left your room so you could sleep. You fell into a deep sleep where even Pete Dunne couldn’t enter your dreams. You awoke to Finn shaking you awake and you shot up nearly colliding heads. After putting on a bright blue skater dress this time, with brown heeled boots and a small brown leather jacket you were ready to go.You just put eyeliner on today and left with Finn to the arena. Your bags were ready in the car for the flight back to the  states straight after the tournament ended. You walked in to be greeted by Triple H once again and went and sat in the catering hall with Neville. 

‘He’s  starting at you’ Neville said and you rolled your eyes. 

‘There’s something new’ You growled. 

‘And he’s coming over’ He said going to leave. 

‘Don’t you dare’  You said eyeing Neville over who looked confused. ‘I need a witness.’ You said making him chuckle at that comment. 

‘Hello again’ You heard the smug  dick say from behind you.  So you chose to ignore him. He didn’t deserve a response. He still sat down next to you and continued to speak. ‘You’re looking  incredibly sexy today, those boots make your legs look incredible.’ He said and your knuckles turned white from the fists you’d balled them into. ‘And that dress, well even if it would look better on my hotel room floor, just looks incredible’ he said looking you up and down. 

‘You know, the amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would kill me’ You mused from where you sat and Neville snorted with laughter whilst Pete glared at the pair of you. 

‘You must  be Pete’ Neville said holding out his hand for him to shake. He nodded and shook it before turning back to you. 

‘Trust me sweetheart, it would be worth it’ He said with the smirk returning to his face. 

‘Please,’ you said, ‘I wear heels larger than your dick’ You said before walking off and swaying your hips for extra effect. You managed to find Finn who was talking to Tyler and Trent.

‘You ok?’ Finn asked curiously noting the look on your face. 

‘I’ve just had a lovely run in with your friend’ You said indicating the other two men. Finn’s face drained of colour. ‘Relax Finn,  I used my words not my fists’ You said and he nodded looking better. 

‘What did you say?’ The older of the two asked. 

‘Oh I told him that the level of alcohol needed for me to sleep with him would kill me  and that my heels are larger than his penis’ You said making Finn roar with laughter. 

‘Well at least we know to avoid him’ The younger said and you chuckled. 

‘By the sounds of it his temper matches my own’ You said and he nodded.’He gives you grief come find me kid, I’ll tear him a new one. I’m rooting for the pair of you’ You said and they both smiled and nodded in thanks. 

‘You know you can only play hard to get for so long’ You heard him  say from behind you and you rolled your eyes at the two guys and Finn. ‘Are you even listening to me?’ He demanded.  

‘Yes, it just takes me a while  to process all this stupid’ You said turning and gesturing to all of him  making the three men stifle their laughter. 

‘Darling you know you want to’ He said and your temper started to rise again. 

‘I’ve just realised how easy it would be to kill myself guys, all I’d have to do is climb the height of your ego and jump down to the level of your IQ’ You said and Finn could no longer contain his laughter. 

‘Finn, Y/N, you’re up’ A producer said leaving you and Finn to walk to the entrance. 

‘You’re fighting a losing battle there mate’ you heard of them say. 

‘I’m not going to give up’ Pete replied leaving you slightly speechless. 

my friend is studying for the mcat and was just trying to explain to me about heat transfer and she said ‘you know, like the reason you get cold when you go outside on a freezing day is that your tiny human body is trying to warm up the entire universe’ and i think that’s the best thing i have ever heard

Listen I made my mum listen to the hug track. She has no idea about the show. She first said it’s so sad and emotional. And reminds her of church choir music. Then I said to her “Mom it’s about two people. And this is a background music when they are having a moment. (I did not mention the hug) Just tell me what is the relationship between these two people”.

Mom said “Oh.. That’s easy. They must be Lovers”.

I am fucking crying.

Do you regret it?”
    “I don’t know.“ Her voice shook. “Everything.”
     He was quiet for a long moment. Heat flooded her cheeks. She opened her mouth to tell him to forget she asked, but finally he said, “Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t the best thing that ever happened to me. Because you were.”
     "Yeah,“ she said with glistening eyes. "You, too.
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write
best musical quotes with no context

- “the funk of moral fiber rotting”

- “for a clitoris is holy amongst all things, said he”

- “driving mad at twelve miles an hour”

- “i have maggots in my scrotum”

- “southern motherfucking democratic republicans”

- “she was the happiest corpse i’d ever seen”

- “he ran into my knife ten times!”

- “rising on a sea of marshmallow foam”

- “on the lake there was a boat, and in the boat there was a man”

- “it’s not like i’m a healthy person”

- “how do you get this gold shit off?”

- “imagine a world with no children, close your eyes and just dream”

- “four jews in a room bitching”

- “bobby maler he’s the best, looks so nasty in those khakis”

- “you’ll be obsessed with all my forest expertise”

- “i’m fucking the fucking president, oh yeah”

- “i got carried away, and not just by balloon”

- “if i stop smoking crack”

- “don’t use a toaster while standin’ in the shower”

- “she got them heebies and jeebies from moonshine and cheap wine and reefer and candy cane”

- “you’ll have kids and they’ll hate you too”

- “a potpourri of contradiction”

- “this is called an aneurysm hook!”

- “please reward our pluck and save this duck”

Originally posted by jjibooty

Seokjin - 

“Appa, I need help!” He couldn’t believe his ears at first. Seokjin wished he could have recorded that moment to show you. He sat next to him, his son, and began to explain the math question that was tripping him up. He didn’t want to make the boy upset so he didn’t point it out. Later that day though when you came him he was hugging you and tearing up. For him it was one of the best things to ever happen to him. “He said appa, he finally called me appa! He accepts me…”

Originally posted by minsecretsoul

Yoongi -

He was relaxing after working hard at the studio when your little girl came up next to him. “Can you help me brush my hair, appa?” He felt his breath catch in his throat and he stared at her innocent eyes. He did anything she wanted, he was in a fogged state as her simple words echoed in his head over and over again. There wasn’t any words to describe what he was feeling. When he told you about it he looked so star struck. “She asked me for help, [Name]. She called me appa, after so long.”

Originally posted by hobipd

Hoseok -

They were playing in the living room while you were taking a shower when it happened. He was chasing the little girl around the table when she hid under it. “You can’t get me under here, appa! I’m on T!” It wouldn’t register right away as he tugged her out with a triumphant sound. But when it hit, he nearly dropped her. He could feel his heart swelling in his chest and a sting of happy tears in his eyes. “[Name]! [Name]! I’m an appa now! She called me appa!”

Originally posted by jjilljj

Namjoon -

Your son wasn’t terribly young and had been resistant to Namjoon for a very long time. He understood, having a new person come into your tight knit family of two was hard on him. He’d always just been “Namjoon” to the boy. “Appa, have you seen my game? I know I didn’t leave it at Seojun’s…” There was this weightless feeling followed by immense happiness and pride. He’d finally made it to more than “a friend” or “the boyfriend” in his eyes. He would talk to him about it before he talked to you, but when you saw him he was glowing. “He likes me, he finally thinks of me as his parent.”

Originally posted by cuzishiptoomuchjihope

Jimin -

Your set of twins had been running wild, with Jimin acting just as crazy. You were sitting on the sofa watching him use the little girls as weights laughing at their antics. “Appa, I want down!” One of them cried making both you and Jimin freeze. “No! I wanna go higher, appa! Higher!” He turned to look at you and you could see the tears welling up in his eyes. He was smiling so wide and his heart was racing. He had hoped but never thought the day would come. “I’m their dad, I’m finally their dad!”

Originally posted by cake-p0p

Taehyung -

He’d never had a problem with you already having a family. Your little boy made him so happy even when it was time for diaper changes. The little toddler knew his words and knew who you were but he never called Taehyung appa. It was always TaeTae. He was fine with that but when he was feeding him and he heard the garbled “appa” he felt his whole world shift. He kissed your son, his baby boy, and could have danced around the apartment. “Yes, that’s right! I’m your appa!”

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Jungkook -

He loved your children all the same. Even when your oldest daughter would slam the door in his face and shout that he wasn’t her dad. When your little boy spilled paint an the rug and almost ate his baby powder. He was shopping with the children when he heard it for the first time. “Appa, can we get this?” She was holding up a small doll and looking timid. He was in awe, Jungkook had finally won her over. When he agreed and she hugged his waist thanking him and calling him appa again he could just feel the ground giving way under him. “She did it, she called me… I have to tell–! YES!” He couldn’t wait to see your face.

i was legit bawling throughout the whole scene oh my god it was so beautiful. alex is figuring out that she was never into men and it’s the best thing that has ever happened i’m crying over how much i identify with everything she said and feeling she was broken and it just wasn’t her thing but her problem was she wasn’t into MEN i’m. so emotional and so happy for her

this wasn’t the last thing he said to me, but it speaks volumes of the man he was. Riley was an amazing man who loved my best friend with everything in him. He would do anything for her, no matter what she needed because she was the love of his life. A couple of weeks ago he told me he was going to marry my best friend and god how i wish he could have made good on that. The first time he ever talked to me was through my friends phone, she had told him that I (a stranger to him) was having a panic attack so he sent me a text through her phone that said “hi we love you and you can get through this.” Even though he didn’t know me, he wanted me to know he was cheering for me, he was an amazing man with the biggest heart ever. He would stream Destiny and i got to watch some and him saying “mmmmmm dab” will forever be etched in my brain.

Riley died Sunday morning (01/15/17) because of a careless criminal trying to evade police after robbing a pizza hut. That careless criminal took the lives of Riley and his father, and also his own. Two innocent people are dead because one mad just HAD to rob a pizza place for a couple hundred dollars and Riley’s family and friends will never be the same because of it.

I urge everyone to hold their loved ones tight and keep my best friend in your thoughts & prayers if you could.

We miss you Riley, thanks for being an amazing human being, and boyfriend to my best friend. I’ll watch over her here on earth, please watch over her up there, love you always.

Mod Em Posts

I have some news that I need to share with my fellow mods and the wonderful followers of this blog. I came out to my mother today about being a lesbian and having a girlfriend and it went the best it could. While she did cry a bit, she smiled a bit when she saw a picture of my girlfriend and I.

It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done and I was physically shaking. I think it’s going to take her some time but she said she loved me and that’s what mattered to me.

I want to say thank you to the other mods and followers of this blog who gave me the courage to finally come out.

I’ve kissed several people over the course of my life, sometimes initiating it myself and sometimes not, but I can say I’ve only ever been asked permission ONCE and it was a girl and it was hands-down the cutest thing because we were watching TV and I could kinda feel her watching me, and then she said, ‘So… can I kiss you?” and I couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little and she was like, “What??” then I told her that no one had ever ASKED before but YES of course she could kiss me and honestly it’s probably one of the best kisses (okay… there were more than one… we kissed way more than once) I’ve ever had. So don’t think asking for permission to kiss someone will ruin the moment. It doesn’t.

I just wanted to add this even though I don’t think anyone is arguing it but…who is stronger (Magic-wise): Aelin or Rhysand?

Now I know they are characters from two different series but I’m going to tell you why I think Aelin is stronger.

Just because in ACOMAF it was said Rhysand might as well be the strongest fae ever… correct me if I’m wrong but they used the word male and think of it like this:

Aelin is so strong that the gods are using her as their pawn to do their bidding (whether or not it was before she knew it) Aelin was controlled by Deanna who, a god, even reveled in her power.

Also Aelin has been fighting against the valg for awhile now (and we may just consider them darkness) and Rhys is thing but darkness (in the best way possible don’t worry I love that little birb) so would Aelin be able to beat him in a fight?

And on the mental side, Aelin has struggled and lost and gained just to loose it again too often to not be strong. Even though Rhys lost his family, so did Aelin, even though Rhys was enslaved to Amarantha who made him do unspeakable things, Aelin was enslaved through money and debt by Arobynn.

So yea. There’s been a lot of fighting and hate in the tog tags lately and I wanted to start conversations like we used to have, ones where we debated fun things like this, digging through the books to find evidence, or making prediction posts. Please feel free to add on talking about anything in this post. Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. Love you all

                                                  Rose Quartz

Oh Rose Rose Rose… what an interesting character you are. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a flawed and strange mother figure in a kid’s show.

So, we’ve learned quite a lot about her. She not only started the rebellion, but also shattered one of the Diamonds for that. And after she poofed one of her best friends and imprisoned her forever. That’s… quite the change from the sweet and perfect person the gems have been painting her as.

What I find fascinating is her… devotion to Earth? I’ve said before that she started the war for the planet, and liberating her kind was a cool side effect of that. She was simply enamored with the idea of creatures who could fundamentally change who they are so effortlessly. And yet… for someone who loves Earth so much and has been there for a few thousand years, she sure knows fuck all about it.

Rose seems more like a teenager with a crush, like the whole incident with Jamie and Garnet, except this time is between a gem and a planet. I genuinely think Rose killed herself so she could experience what being a human was like.

Pretty fucked up. Very suspicious. I can’t wait to learn more about her

I don’t know what to think… I’m really upset, but so much of me thinks that this can’t be real. 

  • It doesn’t answer any questions except where Sherlock learned to play violin
  •  it had Sherlock effectively ignore John for the entirety of the episode, even going so far as to ignore their code for danger
  • Team Rope or Team Dogbowl
  • We don’t find out what John’s note to Sherlock said
  • Mary has some sort of posthumous post office system sending out DVDs at random intervals
  • Also, mary knows Sherlock and John best of all??????? since when?
  • Mycroft locked up his sister at the age of 14 and told his parents she died..but there is no trace of Eurus at their house, and why would Mr. and Mrs. Holmes not ever mention it to Sherlock? 
  • “It doesn’t matter who you really are” um…but I thought that’s what the show was about. if there’s one thing they’ve made clear is that it’s never about the cases, it’s about the characters and their relationships
  • the special effects were dismal, and it took place primarily in one setting
  • The creators of the show are mysteriously absent, as are the actors
  • john’s complete and total character assassination 
  • the insane portrayal of the garridebs, a story the writers claimed to have loved, used as a three minute plot device to further the insanity of Sherlock’s sister
  • Mycroft allowing an unsupervised conversation between two ridiculously destructive and competent psychopaths as a gift???????

I don’t know….