but that are funny as hell

3

so a friend was going to Walker Stalker Con in Chicago and he asked if there was anything he could do or get for me while he was there and i said YES, please deliver a funny gift to Tom Payne for me and grab an autograph and he said SURE! so i made a candle and it was delivered! he said Tom loved it and look - Jesus loves me! aaawww! (heh heh) JESYL…hell yeah i ship it.

cookie1218  asked:

Your last update of Blind!Dean verse made me laugh so hard in the train 😂😂😂 at least was pretty early in the evening and nobody startled too much, but so worth it. Thank you so much! It's amazing, have a really nice day 😊

LMAO people probably thought you were high and just like…

TalesFromRetail: A literally pissy customer

I’ve been lurking on this sub for a little while and wanted to share one of my more…interesting stories that happened a couple of years ago.

I was working as a cashier in a regional, more up-scale grocery store around the holidays. Needless to say, the store was busy as hell and I was in a robotic auto drive as the hundreds of customers came through the lines.

It was towards the end of that day’s 10ish-hour shift when a normal middle-aged dude is next in line. I paid little attention to him as he was somewhat quiet when I went through the required pleasantries. I had tagged and bagged all of his items and was simply awaiting payment. As he was fiddling with the consul suddenly I realize he has spilled something on the floor—the mess is slowly accumulating. I reach for the wipes at my station when I comprehend that this man has actually relieved himself onto the floor.

He finishes paying, looks at me with a weird little grin on his face, exclaims “whoops” and then walks through the puddle and giddily goes on his merry way never to be seen again.

At that point I’ve paged a manager and am trying to get the attention of the next customer, a mid-20s man, to ensure that he doesn’t walk through the unfortunate mess… Not wanting to loudly proclaim that there is urine on the floor I anxiously tell him to wait so that the custodial staff can clean up the mess.

The next few moments I recall with extreme clarity as they seemed to occur in slow motion…

The customer, who believed the piss was simply water (the floors have a yellowy tinge), stepped into the mess as I was explaining how it was actually an ill-fated bodily fluid. HE THEN SLIPPES INTO THE MESS AND ON THE WAY DOWN BANGS HIS HEAD ONTO THE SIDE OF THE REGISTER KNOCKING HIM OUT COLD.

At this point, my manager has arrived to find a man lying unconscious in a puddle of piss on the floor and it’s quite literally a warzone… The man’s wife is screaming and shaking her husband as she kneels in the piss and I’m standing by the register shell-shocked not knowing what to do as this is way outside of my job duties.

Unfortunately I had to stay on shift for another two hours filling out paperwork. It all happened so quickly and the customer was far enough away that there was nothing I could do. He ended up not pursuing legal action as the company’s liability insurance covered his medical bills.

One weird tidbit I remember is that after the urine was cleaned up by a custodian by that magical white powder that sucks anything up into a dry heap, it was then boxed and shipped to headquarters… I can only imagine the person whose job it is to receive boxed urine.

TL;DR man slips in urine and gets knocked out in the process

By: interesting_persona

anonymous asked:

How or I guess when did you first realize your sexual orientation? Just because I still feel like I'm not sure and is that okay? If I'm still not sure. I mean I'm like 55% certain on most days.

Hmmm I think when I was 17. It was during my first year at NYU. I had a huge crush on this girl in my writing class. I had a boyfriend from high school at the time that I had been with for more than a year and I realized that my feelings for this girl were like…similar to what I felt for him. I panicked, broke up with him, went through a mild crisis (I come from a Christian household so I thought I was going to hell) then starting identifying as pansexual. Skip a couple years to 19 and I realize that parts of my childhood I had SIGNIFICANT crushes on female characters in the media I consumed. I also started identifying as bisexual rather than pansexual.

Wanna hear something SO FUNNY? The guy who is my high school sweetheart is GAY. Literally realized after we broke up after trying again. He’s always gonna be my puppy love but we really never went beyond hand holding and kissed maybe like….five or six times in almost two years. Compulsory heterosexuality is a helluva drug.

TalesFromTheFrontDesk: It's snowing in your building

What a hell of a night. I get here at 3, nonstop calls and check-ins, don’t get around to opening my drawer and doing call arounds until 3:20. Shortly after a gentleman informs me that my emergency hatch is open in one of my stairwells and that it’s snowing in the building. Just great! I called managers until I got permission to call my maintenance guy in because 2nd and 3rd shift are entirely alone in the building. He finally gets here and fixes it after I rushed around to put down towels, a wet floor sign and an OOO sign.

The madness doesn’t end there though. I had to turn away an Expedia check-in because she was under 21 and get a lovely, “I’m calling on behalf of our mutual guest” call.

A bit later I get an in-house guest who comes up for soap and shampoo. NBD, it’s the usual. Or so I thought. This gentleman then proceeds go tell me he’s a psychic and read me.

All in all an interesting night so far. 2 hours until I go home. Let’s see what other madness the gods bestow on me tonight.

By: Gypsy-Soul94

Its funny how Supergirl fell into one of key trappings of bad exposition.

If Kara and Manhell have to deliver a dialogue upon dialogue about how he is totally different person just so viewers know that, then the narrative has failed to ever show that. I mean how many times in last few episodes did writers try to use other characters to tell the viewers on how ManHell changed?

Its especially weird to see that coming right after:

  1. We learn what a coward Man Hell is, what he did int he past and what he is doing now
  2. We see him not even think about saving or changing his people and continuing to stay on earth doing nothing instead of sacrificing everything he has to make a change to his people like actual real hero M’Gann M’orz did.
  3. We keep seeing him insult everything Kara stands for and complain about everything about her, while insulting her agency and choices. And in the most patronizing mansplaining tone possible.

Its not healthy. its not just “bickering”. Its not “getting better”. Its a toxic relationship where one side is trying to suck out any sort of independence empowerment or agency from the other. ManHell’s very essence so far has been about trying to restrict Kara, act possessive around her, try to limit her freedom, etc. And likewise Kara’s life now revolves around this manchild and being with him. She lost her career she loved, she barely gets any moments with her sister, she is constantly forced to look after him. She is degraded by the writers to the point of BEGGING him.

How is that healthy? How is the relationship involving a possessive sexist soul-sucking male who wants to limit you and constantly insults you HEALTHY?

The show shows nothing that would indicate it is healthy.

And yet, then show turns around and keeps having KARA of all people tell us how he has “changed” and how he is “better now”.

Which frankly is OOC for Kara Danvers. Kara is not one to give up. Kara is not one to take selfish needs above good of others. If this was Kara of Season one she would absolutely be trying to talk him into stepping up and trying to change his culture’s ways. She would not concede to his bullshit, she would not be in relationship with him, she would be working towards regaining her job she loves, while at the same time lecturing ManHell’s sexist ass urging him to stop being so awful.

If this was S1 It would  be Kara delivering all the young girls watching the show a message - a message that your life should not revolve around needy possessive white dude limiting you. That you have life and needs and goals beyond that. That you are not an item someone owns. That if someone keeps pushing you, you push back

Yet S2 Kara who keeps claiming how strong and independent and immovable she is, keeps conceding to this manchild against her better judgement.

Like, the show continues contradicting itself in every scene where Man Hell is concerned.

TalesFromThePizzaGuy: Kinda missing my old pizza gig...

I worked at the Hut a couple years back. I enjoyed it there. I made what I thought were good tips, and I loved chillin’ and driving around, listening to some 311, eminem, or whatever i was in the mood for that day. I also miss taking a good drive around the city after closing late, seeing all of the lights, sometimes stopping by friends’ places along the way. Hell, I even miss the pot. Although I didn’t enjoy getting called in every other day off. I found a rather good paying(~14.00) job last year and quit for it. I enjoy that job too, but I kind of abhorred working my new gig in the winter(though I LOVED the Hut during the winter, mucho tips). So much that I almost consider looking back to pizza delivery if I’m not able to transfer to a warmer location. I don’t know, I guess I kinda miss how chill it was and the tips,as well as being inside my car when it was cold. Am I just looking at it with rose-tinted glasses? Or am I being rational in thinking this is a viable option for a 21 year old?

By: HydroponX

anonymous asked:

@ THE ANON DONT WORRY I SPEAK 4 LANGUAGES INCLUDING ENGLISH AND ENGLISH ISNT MY FIRST LANGUAGE EITHER BUT IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WHEN I WAS FIRST STARTING TO STUDY ENGLISH I CAME ACROSS THE WORD 'VIVID' AND I WAS SO CONVINCED IT MEANT 'AVOCADO' I WENT AROUND SHOWING OFF SAYING 'DO YOU WANT AN VIVID' AND THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH SKILLS. ALSO, I ONCE SAID 'I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR PHOTOSYNTHESIS LOGIC' TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK FANCY AND UM YEAH DONT BE ASHAMED ILY

avOCADO LOL. that’s so funny (side note: i hate avocados) - but that reminds me of when @baeseoul told me she’d been pronouncing the word epitome wrong her entire life until someone finally asked why the hell she was saying it like eh-pit-ome LMAO. but also yes!!!!!! languages are hard so don’t get down just bc you can’t comprehend something yet!!

anonymous asked:

headcanons for dating Trini from the Power Rangers (2017 version) pleaseee 😊

I got like three of these requests, so here you go! Anytime xoxo

Originally posted by bb-8-is-a-corgi

•There is no way Trini isn’t a spitfire 

        -Like this girl always has something to say and 80% of the time it’s funny as hell

•She’s worried about you during fights, but she respects that you can take care of yourself

        -You guys always check up on eachother through the comms tho 

•She’s secretly loves being the little spoon  

•You always hold hands or you have your arm around her shoulder 

•You tease her about her height 

        -she in turn teases you about yours 

•She’s scared at first to let you in, she’s so used to being the new girl no one knows

        -But she’s so glad she did- she’s never been happier  

•Whenever anyone asks for your favorite color you respond ‘yellow’ without hesitation, and she says the same about your color  

•She has such a wide variety of music tastes and she makes you playlists to listen to with her favs from every genre. 

         -She actually loves broadway music, and the two of you dramatically act out Hamilton songs… you would die if anyone found out of course, you have a reputation to uphold

•Her mom is well.. you know. But as soon as you two become a couple her mom notices Trini smiles more, and she’s not as unresponsive 

          -She’s still not 100% approving of her daughters choices but maybe she did right by you

•You and her little brothers OMG. They love you, like so much. 

         -One time Trini walks in on the three of you playing with their ranger toys, and you’re all arguing about which one you get and you’re claiming the rights for yellow ranger 

•She loves to braid your hair 

          -Legit you always have impressive styles that everyone covets

•If either one of you are upset both are equally willing to destroy whatever or whoever caused it 

•Zack is obvs a flirt, but he learned to back off with the two of you cause you are both overprotective when it comes to other people flirting

          -But like he ships you guys so hard 

•When you go shopping together it’s a crazy experience and you get absolutely. Nothing. Done. 

          -If it’s for clothes you two just make each other try on the craziest pieces you can find 

•Honestly you two are like couple goals

  • Thomas: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Jimmy. You're a member of the staff.
  • Jimmy: That's a given.
  • Thomas: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being *near* you. I miss your laugh!
  • [laughs playfully and pulls on Jimmy's sleeve
  • Thomas: I miss your scent.
  • [composes himself, becomes serious]
  • Thomas: I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
  • Jimmy: Take it easy, Champ.