you know when mario gets the star? mario fuckin’ CHEATED to get that star
dirk does not own any video game consoles of his own but he has been roped into several sessions of gaming with roxy, who owns literally all the consoles. even the ones that aren’t out yet for us. that’s right. she absolutely has a ps5. anyway roxy is a nintendo gal at heart and one day she lends dirk and jake her gamecube for some fun and gives them a few games. they make their way through a few rounds of super smash (literally the game they were playing in my most recent fic chapter, obviously) and a couple bouts of mario kart. they poke through some of the other games she handed over, but most of them appear to be single player ones they’d have to take turns at.
“oh, here we go,” jake says, and hands one over.
it’s fuckin mario party.
dirk loses. dirk loses every round. it should not be humanly possible to be this bad at minigames. jake keeps getting items that let him steal dirk’s stuff. dirk keeps landing on spaces that make him lose coins. dirk lands on a star and doesn’t have enough coins to buy it thanks to a bad landing last round. meanwhile, jake is swimming in coins. the star moves and through happenstance jake ends up catapulted to the other side of the board and lands on the star 2 turns later. jake wins every bonus condition star. once, the game gives dirk exactly one pity star for having the fewest stars.
jake is delighted. he’s not BAD at video games, but this is the first one he’s been genuinely good at! every time dirk grouses and suggests they play something else jake begs off one more round. he starts making bets with dirk to keep him engaged. “all right strider, if you win this one then I’ll do all the dishes for a week!” “ok dirk this time what’s on the line is trash duty. are you going to be able to bring it for real?” dirk cannot back down from a dare. unfortunately for him, his luck never improves. he has a week’s worth of chores on his shoulders and the only reason he doesn’t make jake sleep on the couch is because jake is very persuasive when he tries to be. (there may also have been a bet involved with that too. dirk isn’t telling)
I need to take a little break from playing & posting. My mental health is a mess, I’m not taking care of myself property and I’m sleeping from 8am till 5pm which means I never get dressed I just hang out in gross pj’s eating trash food, crying all the time. I’m gonna try and spend little to no time on the computer, read a little. Read some inspiration weight loss stories, drink tea, take walks and colour. I download the app Headspace to try out meditation.