but still i kinda like it

i dream of...credence?

the i dream of jeannie graves/credence AU i didn’t want to write a whole fic for because it’s pretty crack-y but then i wrote all of this, anyway. it’s ~1600 words of sort of summary almost not!fic. (there’s also mentions of grindelwald/dumbledore)

ok, so captain percival graves, united states air force, is on some kind of a test space flight when his one-manned capsule comes down, nowhere near the planned recovery area. in fact, he’s pretty sure he’s landed on an uninhabited island. a desert island. he checks his capsule but he can’t send an sos back to base. he can only hope his tracker was working long enough that a rescue team will come get him. while he’s exploring the beach, he sees a strange bottle. it’s beautiful and, curious as to how it got there, he picks it up.

as soon as he does, black smoke comes billowing out and he drops the bottle. the smoke materialises into the form of a young man, and graves wonders if he hit his head when he crashed. the man is wearing a black velvet vest, cropped and edged in gold. his chest is otherwise bare, dusted with dark hair, the vest barely concealing dusky nipples…graves shakes his head. he needs some water. but his eyes drift back to the impossible man. his pants are sheer, and graves’s face heats as he notes the shapely legs barely concealed beneath them, all the way up to…and he sighs in relief, and MAYBE the slightest disappointment, when there are solid briefs giving at least a modicum of modesty. all in all, he looks like a…

‘genie?’

the young man’s eyes snap to his and he tilts his head. he starts speaking in a language graves can’t understand and graves rubs his eyes vigorously. the man is still there when he opens them, babbling away. ‘i wish you could speak english,’ graves says and the next minute the man says, ‘oh, thank-you, master, now you can understand me,’ in perfect english.

graves faints.

Keep reading

4

the calendar // panic! at the disco

8

Hey , i saw in your mind…do we really want to get into who’s more pathetic than whom?  » happy birthday jay

10

Daisy Johnson in Agents of SHIELD: ‘What If…’

love is in the air

anonymous asked:

I like how this blog is becoming "buck-grampa, tell us a story", "aight, lil shorts, there was this cow..." Cuz you're old.

wait what???? im old???? i hadnt noticed, i thought that 100 year birthday party was for a different jackass with a metal arm. 

look, the only reason most of my stories are about the good ole days is because most of the morons i hang out with now have blackmail on me. and i have blackmail on them. we’re all doing the nuclear deterrent thing, it seemed appropriate with the russian-american vibe we’ve got going.

so i cant dish dirt on them without getting dished back. 

and i like you guys just fine, but i would rather murder every one of you than let tony tell anyone the story of the three shrimp plates. 

death before dishonor and all that