but sometimes I get like I am now

From the mun.

There is an issue that I have been dealing with for a while.

Now those that know me on social media know that my relationship with my parents seems like a normal child/parent thing. However, this is something I have been dealing with.

I am pretty much…the black sheep of the family. My older sister has a government job and a nice house and family…

I feel sometimes my parents gush more over her achievements than mine. I often got the usual “It will be much difficult for you to get there reply.” They would let her do things ahe wanted but me…I’d get reprimanded. Scolded.

I think this may be why when I fail at something… I take it harder even.

I feel my Sisterhood is my real family. It’s not about blood, but love in the heart.
I appreciate you listening. Sorry if I sound down lately but this needed to be off my chest.

sometimes i get this moment of clarity where im like “aeeuuauahgghhhhhh i’m 20″ and i hate it because i am too old and im basically an adult now. as soon as im 21, i’m like the last iteration of adult. i’m getting there…

anonymous asked:

How often would you say you get commissions? (BTW I love everything you do.... in a friendly platonic non-creepy way)

Aaaww, thanks!  I get commissions, I dunno…not too frequently tbh.  Especially when it comes to animation, people start bargaining and then the prices turn out to be too much for them and it doesn’t happen.  

Maybe like two or three a month?

“I hope you are enjoying your day at work!  You betrayed my trust yet agian! Don’t come home tonight!“ 

My parents were abusing my whole life and even in my twenties they treated me like a little child. These were the last words my mother told me over a phone call, after she got mad at me for not picking up the dry cleaning. 

I had enough, so I decided to do what she told me to and moved to Australia the same day, changed my name and cut all ties with my previous life. It has been 12 years now, I am getting married and I haven’t talked to them or anyone from my past. 

Sometimes I miss then. 

I get it. I know i am too much to handle for you. But, can’t you see im trying? I’m trying to not be “manipulative” as you think i am. Im trying to not tell you everything i get sad about because im always sad. Every.single.day. You know how you don’t text me when your emotions are everywhere? Imagine feeling like that everyday. Now throw in an intense fear of abandonment and hating then loving someone constantly.Let’s not forget that you also have no idea who you are. That’s my life. Im fucking trying, but it’s just hard sometimes. And it seems like you dont even notice. This is borderline personality disorder. I get it. Im too much for you. But im also too much for myself.

anonymous asked:

wait, what does 'UY pumuti ka! mas gwapo!' mean? If you want to say that is.

“you’ve gotten paler- you look a lot nicer like that!“

it’s a thing I hear a lot from aunts and relatives when I don’t go out for long periods of time and my East Asian genes take the spotlight. sometimes it comes in the “kahit ano babagay sa iyo pag ganito ka kaputi/anything will look nice on you if you keep yourself looking this white!“ flavor

I used to think they were compliments [and they were probably well-meaning] but now I just get really uncomfortable, like- is the color of my skin the sole measure for how attractive I am- why is it even a valid criteria? Are you saying that the majority of the Filipino People with naturally tanned skin can never look hot?

don’t me, mga bes. don’t me

Hey guys

I keep getting messages asking about the comic, I’m still not sure what I’m gonna do, but I’ll try to explain some stuff

I don’t like Hetalia as much as I used to, I’ve been drawing hetalia fan art since I was like 14, and so it has gotten a bit boring to just draw the same characters over and over for 5 years. I still love the characters and I still reblog and draw Hetalia stuff sometimes, but for the last few months I’ve been discovering loads of new anime, new cartoons and new shows that I simply like a lot more, and because of that it’s hard to draw this comic when I really want to draw other things more. For so long I used to only like Hetalia and I really didn’t think I would get tired of it, but now I am.

It’s still possible that sometime in the future I’ll want to keep going with this comic because I really like it and the hetalia characters still make me very happy, but right now I’m about to move away from where I used to live, I’m about to go to an art school and I have no idea whats going to happen in my life. So the comic wont update anytime soon and if it ever does it will probably be different from what it is now.

I’m sorry, but I hope you can all still enjoy the pages I managed to draw, and I hope you can all understand that I haven’t started hating hetalia or anything, I have just found other stuff that I like more.

i don’t get why people don’t believe in climate change like…

the climate changes!

where i am from it would snow come October! sometimes end of September!

now it doesn’t snow until the end of November… sometimes it doesn’t stick till January! (i mean we’d have full on blizzards that basically cancelled Halloween on us kids… and now kids can trick-or-treat in shorts!) 

like…i don’t get people and their denial

one day of below zero weather doesn’t suddenly negate all those other days where it was 10* warmer than normal… 

like, where i lived it was once a large block of ice… then a prehistoric lake… and now its all flat grassland….

its staring us right in the face, and people are still saying they don’t see it

I’m feeling so overwhelmed at the moment.

Like all the positive things are pulling apart at the threads.

Communicating with people is difficult,

i find myself most at peace when i am over sleeping.

I have too much going through my head..

Trying to move out of my parents.

Getting ready for uni.

Trying to make sure i have paid work available.

Struggling with my feelings about this open relationship

and now trying to be amicable with my ex.

Sometimes i feel like it’s all just too much pressure.

I’m trying to push myself but i just feel so exhausted and overwhelmed.

I just want to drink a bottle of wine by myself at 3pm in the afternoon

eat nothing

and sleep until tomorrow.

Sadly i know the problems won’t be gone tomorrow…

I keep thinking is this all really worth the fight?

anonymous asked:

I want to share with you a thought that came to my mind when I see Jungkook washing his face in Bon Voyage (or something like that). I am not weird, I promise HAHAHA. K, the thing is that he said: "Ah, I want my skin to get better soon" and I HAVE NEVER FEEL SO RELATABLE TO SOMEONE. My skin is not in her best moment right now and known that idols go through the same remember me that they're humans just like everyone. That's it. BYEEEE 💖 your blog is amazing.

Jungkook is human too. He has pimples, acne and scars on his face too . Sometimes he wants to lose weight too and sometimes he just wants to stuff his face with yummy food. He also hates bugs and loves playing with dogs.

HE’S OUR GOLDEN MAKNAE but he’s still our relatable meme and normal 18 y/o boy ❤❤❤Jungkook is always keeping it real and tHis is why army loves bangtan so much 💗💗💗 We can relate to them because they are humans too 😘

yikestudies  asked:

top 5 peraltiago moments

OOOOH this is a good one

  1. all of “johnny and dora” tbh. SO many good moments in that episode alone. also the evidence locker kiss is still one of the best tv kisses i’ve ever seen??
  2. jake staring at amy in wonder after she admitted she liked him. i mean. JUST LOOK AT HIM 
  3. “thus began the debt.” “crushing debt.” “you do know me.”
  4. “the truth is our job isn’t always great, and sometimes it sucks. but it sucks a little less when i get to do it with you.” / “right now, i like where i am.” :’)
  5. amy’s “screw light and breezy” speech

ask me my “top 5″ anything!

My wiener dog, Atlas, is 15 years old.

He’s been with me since my sister moved and couldn’t bring him with. He, along with my dog, Angel (who i lost 3 years ago), were all I really had when I had to restart my life. With those little dogs, and great friends who became family, I am who I am now. 

Atlas is sick. He’s not eating very well, and I can tell his legs have been hurting him. For about a month, hes been developing a more pronounced limp, to the effect that sometimes we need to life him up the single stair to get back inside from the yard. 

I know its about time. He’s telling me. I’ve made terms with myself for his quality of life. It hurts. It’s not an emergency, like it was with Angel…but it’s about that time. 

Dogs should live forever.

anonymous asked:

i'm writing my first draft and i am feeling discouraged because it is going nowhere like i planned. should i go back to planning or should i just continue?

My advice for first drafts is to absolutely forge ahead. This year I rewrote what I’ve been calling “my worst novel” for about three years now. The end result is maybe the piece of writing I’m the most proud of.

I like to plan very loosely, and if you plan more definitely, you may find yourself deviating and get very frustrated. Those deviations aren’t a failure though! Sometimes you naturally move through the narrative in a way you didn’t expect. Characters fall out of the story or crop up where you didn’t expect, settings alter, plot events become longer or shorter or are absent or appear out of nowhere.

If you pause to plan and lose all your momentum, you’ll just feel even more discouraged. You may feel like your draft is getting messy and wonky, but first drafts are like that.

In the first draft, just play with whatever is the most fun. If that’s having your characters become spies or fake their own deaths or writing that weird romance that you see starting to crop up between two characters, do that. When you’re having fun and moving forward is when you’re most likely to create good characters, good lines, and good future ideas.

the more i write of this book the more my confidence grows in it, i do truly believe that like i’m much more ready to write a publishable book than i ever was and all my previous work was getting ready for this…  like a lot of writers talk about all the books they have in drawers they’ll never publish (like tried and failed to publish and now they’ve found success they never will) and finally kind of feel it when they’ve Hit It with they’re book and i feel like i might finally be there as a writer. that’s why i’m stressed out about it and it’s hard to start sometimes, like i am really going out of my way to challenge myself and use the breadth of my knowledge.  hope it’s okay to be more open about the process lads

I swear I say this everytime but some how I managed to get 700 followers, I have no clue how I did that and I am honestly really grateful for this and for all of you 700 people who follow me even if I haven’t really spoken to that many of you. I’ve had this account for about a year and a half now and it feels super crazy to think that but I am happy that people still continue to follow this account. 

Over the last year and a half I have made a few friends and I feel like again I should thank them for their continuous support and friendship. 

  • @maci1x1 - I never thought our one time talking about this would mean you would get me into roleplaying, sometimes it makes me forget what a real life is but I am grateful for that. I am glad you’re my best friend but also my roleplay partner. I just love you. 
  • @theprettywinchesterdiaries - a few months ago we started roleplaying together in Limabound and usually in roleplays I never make friends that I continue to talk with after a roleplay has closed.But I am very glad i have kept in contact with you, talking to you about anything is great even if its nothing to do with plotting or memes or anything. I am glad to have you as a friend. 
  • @kitkatsrps - I am glad to have also kept in contact with you, you were always pretty easy to talk to and that hasn’t changed just because we don’t talk as much but I am glad we still do. I also can’t wait to 1x1 with you again with this plot. 

Other friends and people I also admire are added here

@brewingimagination, @puckerwilderoserps, @olarpt, @amandapandawrites, @fabrayroleplays, @josiedwrites, @rilayawrites, @tinkerberryrps, @thesnixxwrites, @issybeewrites, @abbeyofrp, @jgroffwrites

And to other people that brighten up my dash:

@lisbugrph, @parksandrps, @tjroleplays, @billylewisjrrps, @katastropherps, @teddyroleplays, @museinspo, @quinniferwrites, @lizwrites99, @sweetpandarps, @allieofrp, @thunderwrites, @brendonuriewrites, and many more on my blogroll. 

In the interest of making hypothetical Galra Keith look more like an alien, feat. look again, the mullet is now a scruffy half-mane. What even is that little scalp ridge thing? Who knows, but he has it now. It’s there. Also tiny underbite, small protruding fang. 

Anyway the fun thing is every Galra we’ve seen is clothed from the neck down and sometimes more than that so even the super-fluffy ones like Sendak and Prorok could be a lot scalier than generally imagined. 

The upside is I am getting better at making Keith, however purple and scaly I might draw him, actually looking like himself. Helps that I referenced this one (pose and face at least) off of an actual Face Keith Has Made

anonymous asked:

I feel so fucking alone, I'm dead inside, I can't feel anything and sometimes I want to kill myself. I am always the second choice and it hurts like hell

I know .. it hurts . but you have to surround yourself with better people and it’ll get better . as much as it hurts now it won’t hurt forever