but sometimes I get like I am now

Meaning behind that tattoo.

It’s gonna be a David Bowie tattoo cuz you know I love him so much, he meant a lot to me.
And the birds free from the cage means that I’m free from my own prison.
Seems like I’ve been caged up for years in my own prison and in that prison I would put myself down and get really depressed.
But now I’m free like that bluebird.
Sometimes I go back to my own prison, I want that tattoo to remind me I’m free and I should stay free.
I’m finally starting to get better with my depression, even though sometimes I feel like I’m not getting better. I realize I am a lot better than I was few years ago.

So it’s a David Bowie tattoo with my own design.

Thank you David Bowie for saving my life multiply times!

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by: Thank you for tagging me!! :D @sugachips

1. Nickname: Annie

2. Star Sign: Virgo

3. Height: I’m so short… 4′9 ;w;

4. Time right now: 12:20 AM. I should sleep but nah

5. Favorite music artist: I love kpop and anything chill~ Big Bang, Ailee, Jay Park, Oh Wonder, and waaaay more. 

6. Song stuck in your head: TT - Twice I KEEP REPLAYING THIS SONG WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO STARBOY - WEEKND

7. Last movie watched: Watched Storks with @chizurou IT WAS SO FUNNY AND GOOD. But I love Disney/Pixar, Dreamworks, etc in general soooo 

8. Last TV show watched: Stranger Things. Just finished today and LOVED IT

9. What are you wearing right now: Uhhh, my purple pjs with a bunch of hearts LOL

10. When did you create your blog: I honestly don’t remember… maybe a year or two ago???? 

11. What kind of stuff do you post: It’s obvious… trash. Trash everywhere. :D Buuut it’s like 99% anime, the 1% is unknown.

12. Do you have any other blogs: Nope. Want to start a new blog… but still debating ;3

13. Do you get asks regularly: No ;w; 

14. Why did you choose your url: I really don’t have a good reason… I just thought it sounded cute in my head? LOL then I remembered Lucy from Elfen Lied was nicknamed Nyu and just went with it.

15. Gender: Female

16. Hogwarts House: I don’t really know LOL

17. Pokemon team: VAAALOOOR

18. Favorite color: Fav is light blue but I’ve been getting into light pink also… Tbh anything pastel is nice

19. Average hours of sleep: My sleeping schedule is so messed up… On average I think I get around 5-6 hours of sleep. Then it might change and I’ll get 3-4, sometimes 2. LOL oh my. But on weekends, I get around 9-10 hours. I just sleep whenever now and don’t care. I love sleeping and napping even though I don’t get enough of it sometimes… I blame college.

20. Lucky number: Don’t really have one?

21. Favorite characters: MIKORIN MY BAE but tbh I have too many. I love so many characters… for the season, Yuri and Yurio from YOI and Momo from 3-gatsu no Lion. 

22. How many blankets do you sleep with: I always need a blanket when I’m sleeping, no matter what weather. I usually change blankets depending on summer and winter but I’ve been using the same one throughout the whole year… 

23. Dream Job:  At first… I wanted to be a teacher, then a vet, then a doctor. Now I’m a first nursing student. Trying to survive and become a pediatric nurse. :D

24. Following: Okay… I follow a lot of people because I like new content on my dash all the time. But… 2,295 LOOOL

Oh my… tagging 20 people. That’s a lot. Note for the blogs I tag! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to! ^^ I’m sorry if I tag you in too much and is annoyed. Please tell me ;w;

@chizurou | @psycho-alchemist | @banishthisworld | @senpai-nful | @nicosrobins | @chibi-artguardian | @mellophone-jessie | @yuzuli | @fuzzylovescats | @haruhi | @daiizume | @vanillabell | @shisiou | @yatogamih | @princess-yonas | @mikoriino | @ohbeetoe | @yukari-s | @yushiyuki | @altostratos

anonymous asked:

Oh god the thing with Kati hurts me. Obviously we don't know what actually happened but I had something similar happen where I lost a large group of friends a couple years ago and it makes me sick to my stomach remembering it still, so I really empathize with her. There are still times I wonder what life would be like if I were friends with them still because I'm really lonely now and don't have a lot of friends. I hope Kati is doing alright :( I hope she can find peace soon.

Yeah it struck a cord with me too. I had a friendship end badly over the summer and sometimes it still hurts but with time it gets less and less and moreso now I am thankful for the ones in my life.

Well I’m very conflicted here. So my parents want me to get a full time job because I graduate next week. Now I want a full time job also. They want the least amount of hours I get to be 30. I honestly don’t care unless it is close enough to 30 (at least at the moment). Now the current job that I am in I want to get up to 30 hours. I will for sure be getting 25 but sometimes who even knows. (Honestly she usually keeps me there until 530 anyway so it will be more like 27 ½ hours) and she told me she understand if I have to leave because I need the money. Now I don’t know what to do. I love the kids at the place I’m at. It’s only 20 minutes from home. I have no idea what I’m going to do to be honest with you. I literally cried my 20 minute ride home by just the thought of leaving those kids. I really do love them. Honestly don’t go into the real world it is not fun. I don’t like it. I wish that school lasted forever

Sentence Meme - Fluff Version
  • “You can kiss me as much as your heart desires."
  • “I just want to get away with you.”
  • "Put down that cupcake... you're sweet enough already."
  • "Now come cuddle with me."
  • "I think you're beautiful."
  • "I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?"
  • “I’m so happy I have you.”
  • "Someday I'll pick up the courage to ask you on a real date."
  • “You know, sometimes I wonder why you like me.”
  • "You're as cute as a button."
  • "Hey, don't frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile."
  • "Was this meant to be a date?"
  • “How am I supposed to concentrate when you’re kissing me?"
  • "Can you just hold me?"
  • "You look beautiful today, just like every other day."
  • "I have no desire to run away with anyone else in this whole world than you.”
  • “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
  • "Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?"
  • "I want everything with you."
  • "I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February."
Today, I fucked up... by ruining a girls first day of highschool

Not today, never today. This was roughly 10 years ago; however it is my biggest FU in high school.

On my first day of high school, we had physical education 10 for our first block. What a amazing way to start off the semester, Our school split up the classes so only males participated together and same with girls, Because of this there were two separate gyms in the school which we referred to as “Gym” and “Small gym”. In order to get to the Small gym from the locker room You had to travel through the Gym.

Now seeing as this was the first day of classes, naturally we played dodge ball. I am truly competitive at sports and it is a burden sometimes, but I don’t like to lose, or take it easy on people. Now while we were playing dodge ball, a classmate of mine named Anthony was destroying us. I knew him from the basketball team and he was a natural athlete (He actually plays in the CFL now!) so naturally at the beginning of each round I specifically sought to hit him square in the face to make him fall on his ass in front of the entire school, alas Anthony would live to see the day unfold.

The class was near ending and I wasn’t going to let Anthony continue to embarrass our team; no matter how much skill he had. Nearing the end of the round the girls had finished up their class and were coming up from the small gym to go to the locker room.

Now for some reason the girls decided to RUN ACROSS THE MIDDLE OF THE COURT instead of simply walking around the ends of the gym as if it were some kind of game; to not get hit by the dodge balls, Completely not seeing this starting to happen at all (Because of my blood lust) I saw my opportunity. Anthony was just running up to the midway point to throw with his back toward me; Perfect I thought. His mortal life ends now.

I used every muscle in my body and ran towards the mid way point, Cocking my head back like a MLB pitcher I threw the ball with all my might, Anthony was doomed.

As I was watching the ball leave my hand I saw from the corner of my eye a girl who had already started running across the court. It was too late. I unknowingly had set this girls fate, and sentenced her to the shadow realm.

When the ball hit her dead square in the face, the result of the momentum from the ball knocked her backwards to where she hit the floor face first.

BOOM

You could not hear a single thing, it seemed like the entire world had stopped for a moment of silence for this poor girl. Her friends rushed over to her in fear of her death, only to find here laying on the ground sobbing in tears, while literally everyone else in the gym including the teachers stood there silently. She stood up with the assistance of her friends and ran out of the gym crying.

“wow, Your an asshole” jokingly says my friend in the background.

It wasn’t surprising that in my second block that I got called into the office, But I was not in trouble. I told my side of the story, and from my gym teachers it was roughly the same; as we believed it was her fault.

I apologized at the principal’s request, and she never talked to me again.

TLDR: Hit girl in face with dodge ball, made her cry and go home on her first day of high school. Seriously read the post.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

love is sometimes uncomfortable. like right now, for instance, my leg is entirely asleep but my dog’s head is on my knee and he is snoring. we are making a compromise here. love is all about compromises. sometimes you have to twist your entire body so that ur little dog can sleep on ur lap. it is a win-win situation. i am getting pins and needles but i win a dog asleep on my lap. see.

sometimes i just get kind of overwhelmed… life is such an amazing opportunity… we’re surrounded by so many good things? this earth is so beautiful… and the fact that i’m able to experience love? so freely given to me? just even those small moments, sitting and listening to a soft song, or watching the rain fall, the feeling of a worn sweater, the taste of homemade jam. all of those things? i could have never known. i could have never existed. but i am alive! and i do get to experience them! it’s crazy, how when you open your eyes to everything life has to offer to you, even those simple things can become luxuries to you.

2

so normally, i don’t accept prompts…partly because i like to come up with my own ideas, partly because sometimes prompts get a little too specific and it feels like i’m doing a commission for free. however….i really couldn’t ignore this. i didn’t have it in me.

this is such a cute idea, and after talking about it a little on twitter with @octolevi​, this au was born……vero even wrote a little thing to go along with it, which you can find here. it’s super hilarious and i am very much in love with it and this entire au, so…you can expect to see more of the adventures of D-Slice and Angel Bean in the future. for now..have this thing.

please don’t repost anywhere, thank you! 

revised some simple math concepts today. i’ve realised that sometimes i get so used to learning more of the complex formulas and functions that i forget practical math things like long division hahaha the weather was nice today and i really enjoyed it. on the bad side of things, i clumsily slammed my pinky toe and its counterparts into the door today and i am limping everywhere now ahahaha oh whale

AU ideas
  • “the subway train is terribly crowded and you keep bumping my shoulder or stepping on my feet when the train stops and i swear to god i’ll yell at you if you do it one more time -  oh wait you’re hot please carry on” au
  • “yes i am a vet and yes i cure animals but this goldfish is just beyond saving oh no nonO NOW YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO CRY I’LL FIX HIM I SWEAR!” au
  • “i frequent this supermarket on a daily basis and i keep getting you as my cashier and sometimes you seem pretty out of breath as if you’d just run to the cash register i’m queuing at, and i’m getting a little bit suspicious” au
  • soulmate au where everything you draw on your skin appears on your soulmate’s skin and hey i’m doodling little hearts and flowers and sweet messages for you everyday but i never get one back and jFC IS THAT A TATTOO ON MY ARSE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
  • “the bus driver made a sudden stop and i might have accidentally ended up in your lap and you’re terribly cute pls don’t kill me” au
  • “i love singing in the shower and i know your brathroom is next to mine and one day you start joining in and we’re singing a duet and i’m so embarrassed omg” au
  • “this is my first time on a roller coaster and you’re sitting next to me and i don’t know you but i’m fuCKING SCARED CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND PLEASE” au
  • “I’m decorating my house for christmas and i’m trying to put up the christmas lights and i slipped on the ladder and fell and you’re the only one who helped me and wow you have some serious blue eyes” au
  • “my house is next to yours and your bedroom window is facing mine and you have caught me dancing to awkward 90′s songs pls don’t tell anyone” au
  • “we’re at the beach and you have lost your swimming trunks due to a particularly annyoing wave and i swim out to get it for you but you’re not gonna get it back until you agree to go on a date with me” au
  • “we’re both at a karaoke event and you need someone to sing a love song duet with you and i volunteer just for fun and holy shit i think i’m falling in love” au
  • “we’re both attending a convention and i cosplay a dwarf and you cosplay an elf and we start teasing and sassing each other and i might be crushing on you a little goddamnit” au
  • “hey i know we never talked but you’re my neighbour and you have your telly on and the volume really high up and i recognised a line from my favourite movie care to watch it together?” au
  • “there was a mistake made by the employees of the cinema and they sold a seat twice and every other seat is occupied now we’re arguing because we both want to see this movie and wtf are you seriously pulling me down on your lap so we can watch it together” au
  • “i’m at the library trying to study and you flop down on the chair next to me even though there are tons of other unoccupied seats wth man” au
  • “i bought a cardboard cutout of my favourite character and you saw me with it and i blushed but then you invited me over to your house and showed me that you have the same cardboard cutout so i’m guessing we should be friends now” au
  • “i’m the clumsiest human being on this earth and i keep ending up in A&E and somehow always when it’s your shift and i’m getting really embarrassed  noW STOP LAUGHING AT ME IT’S NOT FUNNY (and it hurts when i laugh)” au
  • “you’re next to me at this concert and you keep singing the wrong lyrics and it’s adorable shall we meet up later so i can teach you the right ones” au

I am all about being gentle with oneself, being patient and kind and understanding and knowing that tough things and tough days happen.

But I also am a firm believer in knowing you sometimes need to say, “Suck it up and get your ass up. You’re a fucking lion, now start acting like it. Tough it out, grit your teeth, and get shit done.”

10

I got my first set of autumnal photos back from Fusco Photography and I absolutely love them. Autumn is probably my favourite season and these photos perfectly capture why.

Getting photos like this are so helpful in getting me to accept every part of myself with all of my mobility aids includes. I’m disabled and fat and sometimes I feel a bit down given that this time last year I was an athletic dance teacher and aerialist but things like this really help me love who I am now, illness, weight and all.

My name is Lizzie, disabled and plus size, and I am chronically fabulous.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: frank iero always has some sort of injury. if it's not his eye being fucked up for what reason i don't know, or him somehow hurting his hand, he always has some sort of injury. do his band mates worry about him? i mean, i get that some people are clumsy, but its almost everyday with him. i remember once he said the worst pain he felt was when he broke his toes, but what about now frank? you've been hurt so many other places, are you sure breaking your toes is the worst. and sometimes he hurts himself doing stupid things. like who opens a dvd case with a huge knife? and no one ever seems worried, it's become a normal thing. but what if he like, breaks his arm one day? or worse? @franks band mates, please watch out for him, if he gets seriously injured i am blaming you.

Sometimes I’ll get asks that are like “I see so much Hank Green hate on my dash and I just wanted to say that I think you’re great.” And I’m like, “Oh, good but…now I am aware of this sea of hidden haters that I didn’t previously realize existed.” And then I go and try and find it but Tumblr is so weird and impenetrable that I can’t. But, like, that’s probably for the best.

So, this post is a shoutout to all the people who hate post about me but don’t tag me…thanks for not hating me right up in my face. That’s nice of you.

You’re going to leave me, aren’t you? … You’ve had enough of me, haven’t you? You’re probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and I’ve got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of its own, like I just get hysterical, like it’s something I can’t control at all. And I don’t know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you don’t know what to do either. And I’m sure you’re going to leave me now.

Honestly, man, I’m not somebody who wants the celebrity. I could really care less about that stuff. I know everyone says it, but I get overwhelmed by it all sometimes. I do love my fans, and I am so grateful for them, but sometimes I just want to walk into Chipotle and get a fucking burrito, man!

I never really understood why actors get paid so much money. But now I feel like it’s because they have to sacrifice their lives sometimes, you know? Some people may want that, but I said it: I’m shy and reserved, and there is nothing about me that wants to throw myself out to the world like that. I don’t resent those people or anything, but it’s hard to feel like you’re a person. You go around everywhere and people treat you like a doll.

You’ve got to pull back a little. If you keep fighting it, it’ll just make you go crazy. Like, if you just keep saying to yourself, “No, I’m going to Chipotle and no one is going to fuck with me,” you’ll end up in a mental ward. Because someone is probably going to fuck with you when you walk into that Chipotle.

—  Dylan O'Brien on fame getting in the way of his Chipotle runs (Elle)
Don’t leave me. You mean so much to me. Even if on some days I’m not that happy, don’t blame yourself. I have anxiety and I get depressed sometimes but you help me. You comfort me. Honestly, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I’d ever be happy. You saved me in so many ways. And now you tell me not to hurt myself. To never put myself down. I’m perfect in your eyes, you say. But I wonder if you saw me as I truly am, if you’d still love me. I don’t ever want to lose you. That may be selfish but I do feel like you’re mine. But at the same time I don’t want to put all of my problems on you. You want to know what’s wrong all the time but I can’t tell you. I’m not seeking attention. I just want your love. You told me you love me and I told you that I love you. You want me to promise that I’ll never hurt myself, because that is your greatest fear. I can’t promise that yet, I can promise that as long as I’m with you, then I will never hurt myself. But if you were to leave me, then I can’t promise anything. I never believed in soul mates but now I have reason to believe that we are soul mates. Am I too young to know what true love is? Probably. But I won’t try to deny that we really have something deep. I don’t see a future without you. I know I shouldn’t become so attached but you seem like you’re the one. It’s scary to think that we’ll be apart for so long now. I won’t see you everyday. I won’t get to hear your laugh or see your amazing eyes. If you truly love me, then you’ll fight for me. I know I will.

sometimes i think, why am i here? i mean, on tumblr. instagram. twitter. vine. everyone is so obsessed about getting followers, and who has the most likes and comments, for what? what does that mean in the real world at the end of the day? what is that going to mean in, 20 years? will i go back and remember how i wasted my teenage years obsessed with my phone and myself and how to look “good” for other people? to feel accepted? is everything going to be the same? will i still have this tumblr account? and if i dont, what am i doing right now..? will they close and delete some apps? will they no longer exist? will we be saying “remember that app, instagram?” when we are 40 years old? will i think “i wish i lived the moment”? i dont like thinking about this. it’s scary to be honest. feeling like you are not living? that terrifies me.