but she was singing wizard and i in that one so i guess it counts

texts from last night! meme

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

[text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

[text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

[text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW

[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.

[text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

[text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese

[text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it

[text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?”

[text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.

[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

[text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

[text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife.

[text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops.

[text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

[text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling

[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.

[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us

[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”

[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.

[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”

[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

[text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

[text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart.

[text] When was the last time you wore pants?

[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time

[text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent

[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?

[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?

[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?

[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

[text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin.

[text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb

[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

[text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

[text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant

[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.

[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

[text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

[text] you traded sex for a burrito?

[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.

[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.

[text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

[text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”

[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.

[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year

[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

[text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

[text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

[text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok.

[text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

[text] Because when I say 'You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’

[text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

[text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

[text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

[text] never. drinking. again.

[text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

[text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

[text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

Marauders + Road Trip hc’s

  • OK so imagine life is happy and there’s no imminent threat of death 
  • It’s the last summer before seventh year and Sirius and James are debating what to do with it 
  • They are all at James’, as usual, sprawled in the garden, Remus is reading a book and Lily is painting Sirius’ nails and they are arguing cheerfully. 
  • “Majorca!” James suggests. 
  • “Trashy,” Remus jumps in. “Everyone goes there. Paris?” 
  • “Ugh, Moony, that’s such a nerdy place to go.” 
  • “? how can a city be nerdy, Sirius? Plus, last week you told me you wanted to drink red wine and watch the sunset with me.” 
  • James is spluttering. 
  • Sirius is a bit red in the face. “Er. I like wine.” 
  • Remus is oblivious to Sirius’ romantic advances. 
  • “I can’t afford Paris anyway. Forget it.” 
  • “You got your licence, right, Remus?” This is Lily, finally finished with Sirius’ right hand (he waves them when he talks, making nail painting a mammoth task.) 
  • “Yeah. Just.” 
  • “I have mine!” James, suddenly excited. 
  • “It doesn’t really count though, does it?” Lily says. “We all know you only passed because you flirted with the instructor. You nearly ran over an old lady.” 
  • “Hey! That was her fault. And it wasn’t flirting. It was… chatting.” 
  • “Oooh, Margot, you handle a steering wheel with such… conviction,” Sirius mimics, batting his eyelashes. “I wish someone would “chat” with me like that.” 
  • “You do plenty of chatting,” Remus says. He looks surprised at his venomous tone. 
  • “Anyway, we were discussing my great driving skills?” James jumps in. 
  • “Remus’ driving skills. I was going to suggest a road trip. We can drive through France and Italy, maybe even spain? And camp on the way?” 
  • The boys look at her like she is a genius
  • what better way to enjoy their last summer as students than squish into a cheap car and navigate through countries where they can’t speak the language?
  • They utter a collective noise of approval, and James sort of throws himself at Lily, proclaiming her a genius. 
  • Remus also groans when he realizes that he will have to do all the driving because James is an incompetent buffoon and if he catches even a glance of Lily’s thighs in shorts he will probably crash into the eiffel tower. 
  • So they organize a car and book a ferry trip and in a few days they are off, trunk of the car stuffed with suitcases and the middle of the back seat piled with snacks. 
  • Three hours in Remus is ready to kill someone. 
  • Sirius is sat in the front with him and he wont stop talking about the stupidest things. 
  • “Moony? What is your favorite kind of chocolate? Out of curiosity?” 
  • “Tesco value.” 
  • “What?” 
  • “It’s cheap.” 
  • “But if you could have any?” 
  • “I’d just buy more of it. Up to the price of an expensive box of chocolates.” 
  • “Moony, out of curiosity, if you were going on a honeymoon, where would you go?” 
  • “To bed.” 
  • “Why?” 
  • “Sex.” 
  • Que a red faced Sirius trying not to choke on the swig of coke in his mouth. 
  • “Moony?” 
  • “Yes, Sirius?” 
  • “If someone was proposing to you, how would you want them to do it?” 
  • “Look, Sirius, I’m really not the best person to help you with whatever girl trouble you are having. Ask James.” 
  • Sirius nearly screams and then proceeds to eat crisps until his wounds are healed. 
  • James and Lily are bordering the realms of public indecency in the back seat so at the next stop Remus demands Lily moves to the front and Sirius moves to the back. 
  • But Sirius and James just laugh, really loudly, all the time. 
  • So Remus puts music on. 
  • But then they sing. 
  • So James takes a turn driving, and Remus gets in the back with Sirius. 
  • And this is good because no kissing. 
  • And also it’s easier to talk to Sirius when he isn’t focusing on driving. 
  • The car is very small and the snacks have been mostly eaten, and Sirius has his feet on the seat and they are really very close together. 
  • Remus wonders why he hasn’t noticed how nice Sirius eyes are before. 
  • “Moony? If you were stuck on a desert island, who would you want to be stuck with?” 
  • You, he thinks, absurdly. “Snape,” he says. “I wouldn’t feel bad about eating him.” 
  • He falls asleep on Sirius shoulder, and wonders why Sirius looks so happy when he wakes up. 
  • They go on the ferry and sit out on the deck, all of them, watching as the sea rushes by, remembering stories from earlier years at Hogwarts. 
  • Lily gives a detailed account of her first opinion of each of them. None of these opinions are very flattering.  
  • And so it goes, the four of them rotating seats and fighting across europe. 
  • They go to tiny villages and eat fresh bread and too much cheese, and get drunk on wine that Sirius manages to buy (his french is not too bad.) 
  • A few days in Sirius runs out of clothes because it turns out his bag was full of tapes and tesco value chocolate. 
  • They get cheap tents in a supermarket and camp, James and Lily in one, Remus and Sirius in the other. 
  • But camping is another hc post OK. 
  • And the car stinks and everyone, even Lily, smells bad. 
  • They listen to local radio stations and sing along even though they don’t speak the language, guessing at the meanings. 
  • Sirius says every single one is a romantic ballad. 
  • James and Lily smirk because he is so obvious. 
  • And it’s near the end of summer, warm and sweet and sticky, and Lily and James have walked on ahead, and Remus catches Sirius by the shoulder. 
  • They stand beside the river, stained red from the sunset, and Remus whispers that he’d come here on a honeymoon. 
  • And Sirius smiles and leans in and kisses him, and they sit in the back seat of the car the next day, fingers tangled between them, eating Sirius’ chocolate stash. 
  • They don’t hear James quietly propose to Lily in the front seat. 
  • Just… loud, laughing, happy wizards falling in love in a shitty car one summer, OK? I need to write a whole fic of this. 
From the Mouth of a Babe

Originally posted by darusreedus

Pairing: Daryl x Neighbor!Reader
Word count: 1,047
Warnings: Swearing

Part 2 of Heels and Pearls


Two days after you’d helped Daryl with Maddie, he extended the invitation for dinner that night. You insisted on at least bringing something for dessert, even though he said he was inviting, so he should make it. In the end you told him to stop arguing and just accept it. He’d laughed and nodded. Daryl was learning that you were pretty stubborn when you wanted to be.

Liv was jumping around, excited to go next door for dinner. She picked out her favorite princess dress- Rapunzel- and had you put her hair in pigtails again, wanting to ‘look pretty’. She was currently jumping on the couch, giggling and singing to the radio. Or, rather, trying to sing along. From what you were guessing, it was some Taylor Swift song.

As you were in the bathroom, doing your makeup, you heard her little feet coming down the hallway. Smiling, you looked into the mirror and saw her grinning at you. “Can I help you, Liv?” You asked softly.

“Daryl’s handsome, isn’t he momma?” She giggled when you blushed. Her head cocked to the side, watching you put your lipstick on. “Are you putting lipstick on because you want him to kiss you?” Her eyes were wide, and innocent as she asked.

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the-vorkosigan  asked:

Hey :) For you drabbleton - would you be willing to do the prompt no.1, Stony, in an Arthurian (or, ya know, faux-Arthurian) setting? If you don't like the setting, that's fine, it could be a normal MCU or anything else - it's just that the evil forces and, eh, all the horses scream knights and Camelot :) Thanks. This is such a lovely, fun idea, all the prompts look great :)

We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces/Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

Beer For My Horses

The horn sounded and a ragged cheer rose up from the battlefield as the surviving giants turned their backs on it. Steven himself was quite preoccupied with wrenching his sword out of the great horned beast that had nearly taken his off with its massive jaws.

“I half expected it would never end.”

Steven whirled, which had the beneficial side-effect of providing enough force to remove the sword from the beast’s hide, and grinned at Sir James watching his struggle with his customary smirk.

“Come now, Barnes, don’t tell me you were growing tired!”

“We’ve been fighting since dawn, Rogers. I’d rather you tell me without a lie that you are not.”

Steven shrugged, sheathing his sword. It had been a good fight. Their kingdom protected and King Arthur triumphant against the evil that had threatened its borders. He was never one to dream of battle, only to do what was right. To be a Knight of the Round Table was to be fulfilled completely, for Steve. “You know me, James. I can do this all day.”

James merely rolled his eye, walking forward to drag Steven into him and under his arm like they had done since they were children and more. Of course, Steve used to fit quite neatly there, before wizard Erskine gave him the Draught of Rebirth. Now, James had to reach, but that had never deterred his old friend.

However, he was just short enough now that the edge of his chest plate knocked into Steven’s hip, where one of Mordred’s bannermen had gotten a lucky hit in the barest gap between his mail and his armor, cutting through the jerkin and beyond. The wound wasn’t deep and would heal quickly, but he was like to never hear the end of it until it did.

James edged away so he could look down and made a sympathetic face. “What will I have to do to prevent you from telling this to Anthony?” Anthony would worry without end, and though his mouth set in a pout was one of the most beautiful things Steven had ever witnessed, he was not overly fond of the overbearing caretaking that went with it.

But James, instead of beginning absurd bargaining as Steven expected, dropped his eyes down and to the left. “Yes. Well, about that, Steven…”

Steven’s heart nearly stopped. “What is it? Did Mordred’s fiends get into the camp?”

“No,” and Steven breathed out a sigh of relief. Anthony was the king’s heir, and so he was kept to the camp, where he was safe. “But you’re not going to have to worry about Anthony’s particular brand of tender care.”

“…What,” Steven said dangerously.

“Do you remember that massive explosion that took out their entire left flank around two hours ago?”

“What.” 

Steven was going to kill him.

Anthony was being held in the infirmary tent. His bodyguard, Clinton Barton, went a little pale when he saw Steven storming through camp towards him. “You!” Steven snapped, seizing Clinton by his collar. “You were supposed to protect him!”

Clinton scowled, pushing Steven away. “‘M not locking him up in a cage, Rogers. Tony wanted to fight; so did I. We took out at least two hundred soldiers. What was your count?”

“Barton,” Barnes said softly, and Clinton took another look at Steven and sighed, stepping aside.

“He said he had a brilliant plan, yes?” he mumbled. “The man shoots fire out of those gauntlets. It is hard to say no to that.”

Steven considered him, then relaxed as well. Anthony was as persuasive as he was reckless, and he and Clinton had become great friends. He could not fault Barton too greatly for this.

He stepped through the tent, a small smile quirking at his lips at the sight that greeted him. Tony was thronged on all sides by Lady Pepper, Sir James Rhodes, and his own mother, the Princess Maria. Sir Margaret Carter stood behind him, holding him still while the grand Wizard Merlin crouched over him, muttering incantations over his chest and blocking it from Steven’s view.

“Oh, good, you’re finally here.” Steven looked to the side. Lady Natasha, Merlin’s own bodyguard, was doing the closest thing to smiling Steve had ever seen on her lovely face. “I half expect Anthony to make a break for it at any moment. Perhaps your presence will dissuade him. Ah, Sir Barnes, you survived.”

“I tend to do that,” James said, smirk back in place. Natasha mirrored it perfectly.

“See that you continue to do so. There might be a reward.” She turned back to the preceedings just in time for Rhodes’ ‘Of all the stupid-!’

“It was not stupid!” Oh, and Anthony was well on his way to being drunk if that slur was any indication. For the pain, Steven guessed. As they watched Tony drained the goblet in his hand but when offered a refill declined. “Go give the rest of that to Jarvis. He’s like to be in the same shape as I am. He’ll need it. Oh, and bring him some beer later. The Murkwood lager. It’s his favorite.” The servant nodded, more than used to Tony’s odd eccentries regarding Jarvis, his horse.

“And what shape is that?” Steven asked loudly, and the entire tent turned towards him, Anthony’s face lighting up with a bright smile as the teen swayed towards him as if drawn by a string. It always warmed Steven’s heart to see such a reaction, but now he didn’t know how much was due to drink or pain.

“Steven! Did you hear? I was fantastic.”

“And foolish,” Lady Pepper said.

“It was not foolishness, Pep,” Tony said, a genuine frown crossing his face. “Mordred’s army would not have even had those stones if not for me. I had to fix my mistakes. Uncle will be proud of me, won’t he Mother? And Father, too.” He added, much more quietly. Margaret rubbed his shoulders soothingly.

“Oh, Anthony,” Maria sighed. “We never blamed you. You need not get yourself killed to make Arthur proud. A finer heir could not be asked for.”

“Killed?” Steven squawked. Unable to stand it any longer, he pushed forward, though Rhodes and Pepper stepped aside readily enough. Merlin glanced sidelong at him, finished his mutterings, and moved away, revealing the stone that was now resting in Tony’s chest, a web of already-scarring wounds and spells carved into the skin. Steven reached out a hand hesistantly. “Tony-”

“I’m fine,” Anthony said. “Merls patched me up good.”

“I wish you would not call me that, Your Highness.” The wizard turned to Steven and favored him with a gentle smile. “The stone calls to like. Prince Anthony, in his infinite wisdom, used his gauntlets to implode the enemies’ supply. Jarvis dragged him away after they were hit with debris, which almost pierced his heart, but this should halt its procession.”

“Tony,” Steven breathed, torn between exasperation. “I understand you feel blame, but if I lost you-”

“Then it would have been in good cause. I won’t regret it.” Tony grabbed Steven’s hand and pressing it to his chest. “Feel me, Steven. Feel me breathe. Feel my heart beat. Come now, would I leave you so easily?”

And indeed underneath the cool surface of the stone he could hear his mage’s heart beat proud and true. Steven didn’t know what his face might have shown; Anthony covered his hand with his own and whispered lowly. “For you, my knight.”

Steven surged forward, only remembering at the last second the company they were in, but Merlin merely scoffed. “If you think anyone is paying mind to you two with Lancelot and the queen acting with all the subtlety of a painted whore, you are mistaken.”

Tony leaned the rest of the way with a grin, kissing him so hard Steven tasted blood through the sweet taste of relief. Anthony was alive, and would remain so. The day was victorious. They were heroes all. Outside there was a sudden call for the whisky casks to be broken open. The celebrations would begin soon.

“Oh!” Anthony exclaimed when a cask was brought in for them on orders from the king himself. “A toast!”

Somewhere Natasha snorted. “To Merlin’s superior magic, I hope.”

“To King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table,” Barnes added, prompting a cheer from Rhodes.

“To fallen enemies and Mordred’s defeat,” Clinton proposed.

“To Guinevere, Lancelot, and painted whores,” Tony murmured into Steven’s mouth. “And Jarvis.”

“Here, here,” Steve said, and kissed him.

St. Louis Wizard World Comic Con Experience

I’m going to put this under the cut, because it’s probably going to be really long and filled with lots of pictures and stories, and I’m sure not everyone cares to read it. 

Keep reading

Jason didn’t even blink as Nico appeared on the bartop, nudging him slightly as he moved the glass Nico had almost knocked over. “Careful.” Jason whispered, and Nico flashed him an unfairly sparkling grin.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll be more careful next time, Jay.” Nico winked and then laughed as the crowd around them gasped. Jason returned to the martini at hand, and tried to be unimpressed - the “teleport and make a joke” trick was one of Nico’s best crowd pleasers. Nico was a crowd pleaser, it seemed like he hardly even had to try to make his audiences smiles. He oozed charisma and charm and was so damn flirtatious that Jason could hardly even recognize him as the standoffish, cynical kid he was outside his show. Jason felt a twinge of uncalled for pride at that thought, that none of these people really KNEW Nico, not like he did. 

He turned to where Nico was chatting with an audience member, some middle aged woman who was blushing at the attention. “So,” Nico cooed, “Is this your first time on my ship?”
“Y-yes.” She giggled again, and Nico took her hand.

“I thought so. I’d remember a lady as pretty as you,” He kissed her hand and Jason cursed as the glass he was filling overflowed, “What’s your name?”
“Kim." 

"Kim,” Nico whistled, “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I have a question, Kim.”
“Yes?”
“Is that your natural hair color?”

“Yes…?” Nico extended his hand as she nodded, giving him permission to touch the blonde strands that hung around her face. 

“So soft,” He purred, his (rather excessive, in Jason’s opinion) flirtation amplified by his microphone making the whole room laugh, “I always wished I could have pretty blonde hair like this~”
He stood straight, jumping on an unoccupied chair and grinning at the crowd to more laughter, “What do you think, folks? Blonde is the new black right? I think it’s time I changed my image.”

The crowd applauded, some people catcalling, a few women gasping “oh no”, and Nico gestured at the woman he had been flirting with before. “You don’t mind, do you Kim? Your hair is just so pretty, I can’t resist trying it out.”
“No, not at all.” She giggled, and Nico jumped again, rocking backwards precariously on the chair.

“Right, I’m alright. OK! Let’s see,” He pulled a comb out of his pocket. “Alright everyone, don’t tell the stylist about this trick, or she’ll never talk to me again. Introducing the magical dye that you’ll be dying to get! Change your image in no time flat. All you need is a comb and a little bit of magic!” He winked, and Jason felt himself blushing. Dammit. “Alright,” Nico called out, “Count with me. One, two-”
“Three!” The crowd shouted and then cheered and gasped as Nico shook his head, the hair whipping around his face changing from the dark brown to light, yellow blonde. 

Suddenly, someone let out an “oh!” and the crowd starting laughing. 
“Huh?” Nico said with a feigned innocence that made Jason roll his eyes, “Does it look that bad?”
“Behind you, the barman!” yelled someone, and Nico turned to Jason, offering him a wink and mouthing “play along” before anyone could see. Jason raised an eyebrow, ‘Huh?“

"Oh my! It looks like my product is a little messy!” Nico held up a small pocket mirror to Jason, smiling sheepishly. Who actually smiled sheepishly? Who did that- oh. “Oh man, seriously?”

Jason ran his hand through his hair, which was now a deep black. He kind of looked like his sister.  "I don’t know,“ Jason said, using his best showman’s voice, which wasn’t that great, but he was trying. He made cocktails, not jokes. "I look like a rockstar.”

“Ah, Jay,” Nico said, ruffling his hair, “You’re always a rockstar. Have you guys had today’s special? You’ve gotta. And he does great Sex on The Beach.” Nico winked and the crowd hooted. Jason blushed. “Ladies, he’s single~ Love this guy. A round of applause for the best bar keeper this side of Jamaica, yeah? Jason Grace, ladies and gentleman. And Kim, your drink’s on me, 'kay?”

Jason sighed and waved, and did his best not to make an idiot of himself in the spotlight as Nico weaved his way back to the stage, practically glowing. 

The crowd cheered again, and (blessfully) their eyes followed Nico away from Jason, although a few people had stood up and were walking towards the bar now. 

The rest of the show went as well as usual, Nico flirting and joking his way through the rest of the hour, probably making several audience members fall in love with him, probably making boyfriends and girlfriends all over the room jealous, and just generally being disgusting charming.

It worked, apparently, because he got a standing ovation at the end, and Jason heard the passengers singing his praises as they filed out. 

He didn’t jump when Nico appeared in front of him. 
“So, did you like my new trick?” Nico asked, and Jason sighed.

“You’re going to change it back, right?”

“Mmm,” Nico pursed his lips, “I think it suits you, the black. Your sister has black hair, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point. High school goth is YOUR look remember.”

“But now I’m doing 'blonde superman’. It works so well on you.”

Jason clicked his tongue and turned his back, but it was mostly to hide the blush creeping over his cheeks.

“Jason, come on.” Nico frowned, “Jason I’m sorry.” He waved his hand. “Jason. I fixed it, ok. I’ll buy you a drink.”

Jason sighed and turned back, checking his reflection in the glass. His hair was back to its normal colors, although Nico’s wasn’t. “I can buy my own drink.”

“I know. I didn’t want you to be mad at me.” Nico stared at his hand. 

“I wasn’t mad at you.” Jason slumped, “I’m just not good with crowds.”

“No, they loved you.” Nico looked up and smiled at him, and Jason felt his stomach flip.

“They loved you, and I was near you." 

"No, they liked you on your own. You got more tips tonight than usual, right?”

“Uhm…yeah. I guess.” Jason looked at his tip jar, which was full to the top, “Thanks.”

Nico waved his hand, “It’s not me. You make good drinks, I just reminded everyone. Everybody likes a handsome guy with a drink, Jason.”

“Well, thank you anyway.” Jason grinned, and he felt odd seeing Nico blush. Not a bad odd, but…anyway. “I’ll make you a drink. What do you want?”

“Sex on the Beach.”

“Well, next time we dock…”

“In your dreams, blond superman. Just make my cocktail or I’ll turn you back into regular dark haired superman.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, “Not your best.”

“No, but I don’t have to impress you. I’m at my maximum witty banter limit. Audiences are exhausting.”

“You’re in the wrong job, then.”

“It’s a side job.” Nico shrugged.

“Right, the whole wizard thing, right?”

“Necromancy.”

“Right, right…you know, you still haven’t shown me proof of that.”

“Maybe when we dock.”

Jason perked up. “Really?”

“Maybe.” Nico scoffed, and took a drink.

“Promise.”

“Fine,” Nico looked up at Jason and winked, “It’s a date.”