but she lets them go anyway

Today, I fucked up... by telling a "joke" during dinner

So, my wife met an old friend of hers a few days ago and decided to invite her over with her husband for a dinner. We recently moved to a new apartament and I guess wifey wanted to show off how nice of a kitchen we have. I had a vague memory of who that friend is and I remember I didn’t like her too much - let’s call her X for this story.

Anyway, we prepared an asian meal together for them (we like asian food and it’s what we usually cook for our guests too). X arrived with her husband soon after and we all sat for the dinner.

It wasn’t going that bad at first; I made them laugh with a few jokes and we had a pleasant conversation. Suddenly, X pulled out a hair out of her chicken strip. It was long and she looked at it with disgust. My wife turned all red and started to frantically apologize while X looked at us with that face of disgust and contempt (she’s a bit of a b*tch and clearly a false woman, I really have no idea why my wife is friends with her).

I wanted to save the day somehow; my thoughts were racing and without any second thought, I spilled the “joke” out of my mouth:

“Ya know it could’ve be worse, could’ve been a pube”

All of a sudden (I have no idea why), X puked all over her place at the table. She tried to cover her mouth with her hands but it didn’t help too much. My wife was looking at me with eyes wide open. X let out some inhuman sounds and furiously walked towards the door, slamming them. Her husband gave us a quick look, muttered “sorry” and rushed after her, collecting her shoes from the corridor. My wife only said “really? REALLY?” and closed herself in the bathroom. I think she’s taking a bath. I cleaned up all the mess but she still didn’t leave the bathroom.

UPDATE: I think the things settled down a bit. My wife said I’m the dumbest man ever but she still loves me.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.


taylorswift these are my final pieces for my art. I really hope you like them! It’s my first year back in art in like forever! My teachers super cool and let’s me do as much of you as I can get away with! She actually even let us take a de tour on a school trip to go see your Victoria’s Secret dresses. Although, she has been trying to steer me away for my exam which is titled “journeys” but YA know you can never have too much swift, and well you’ve kinda been rolled into that project to! I’ve been trying to get you to see both of these pieces for quite some time now and figured I’d put them into one post. I just Lysm and want you to know that! Anyways I hope you like them, love you tonnes! Jaime xxx

Let it Burn (Male Fire!Elsa AU)
  • Let it Burn (Male Fire!Elsa AU)
  • Renoku
  • Melted

Disclaimer: I don’t own the karaoke track!
Inspired by: this, this, and this

Ugh, I’m sorry for my voice… Also for the bad quality; I recorded it directly to my computer, and I don’t know how to work recording software.  And also for the fact that because I’m a dude, it probably sounds weird…

But anyways, I wrote some lyrics for the Fire!Elsa AU!  My headcanon is that Elsa’s a lot more scared of her powers, to where she doesn’t feel trapped by them, but that she’s too weak and afraid to use them.  (Not to mention that she burned Anna’s head as a child…)


The flame burns bright on the mountain tonight
And the sparks fly in between
A kingdom of desolation
And it looks like I’m the queen
The ashes dying like this burning rage inside
The loss of love, the loss of life

Don’t let it hurt, don’t make them cry
Control yourself or else the flames will die
Extinguish all your faults in turn
When will you learn?

Let it burn, let it burn
There’s no longer anyone to hurt
Let it burn, let it burn
The old life that I spurned
I don’t need, what I’ve thrown away
Let the fire rage on
The flames never scarred me anyway

It’s funny how some courage
Makes everything seem gray
In the glow of my own power
I can bring in a new day

It’s time to see what I can make
The future’s trembling in my wake
No one can stop the coming dawn
I’m strong

Let it burn, let it burn
My flames will scorch the sky
Let it burn, let it burn
These flames will never die
I will stand, and I won’t run away!
Let the storm rage on…

My power quakes the earth
And bursts forth from the ground
My heart is burning
As the fire roars its cracking sound
And as the smoke clears I can see my path is set
I will win my own world now; go on and place your bets!

Let it burn! Let it burn.
I will call out the phoenix song
Let it burn, let it burn!
That Frozen girl is gone!
In the light, a new life awaits!
Let the fire rage on
The flames never scarred me anyway.

Today, I fucked up... by lending my phone to my sister

Anyways, on monday my little sister was going to go to the cinema with some friends and since she does not have her own phone I graciously let her borrow mine. After coming home she gave it back to me and I saw that she spammed it with selfies, but I thought oh well, deleted them and went on with my life. What I did not notice though was that she fucked with my settings as well and the clock was 1 hour behind.

Oblivious to this information, I set my alarm to ring at 7 and went to bed. I am a heavy sleeper so my alarm is the scene from pulp fiction when the lady screams, “Any of you pricks move and Ill have to shoot every last motherfucking one of you”. As I was tired from life in general I fell asleep immediately. In the morning I woke up and listened… no alarm clock. At first I thought I just woke up earlier but I checked my wristwatch and it was already 7:15. I quickly hopped out of bed at an ungodly speed, cursed repeatedly, grabbed my phone, my bag, and went on my way to school.

Luckily I arrived just before the bell rang at 7:29. I took my seat, plumped my bag with my phone in it on the floor, and pretended to pay attention. All was going well, until 8:00 when disaster struck. The alarm went off, everyone turned towards me, I fumbled trying to shut it off so instead I just took the whole battery out, blushed blood red, asked to go to the bathroom and spent the rest of the day there.

On the bright side this was the last day of school, so hopefully nobody will remember after summer! Or I can always move or go into hiding…

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.


My experience with meeting the shadowhunters cast.
First of all let me say how very very grateful I am and how lucky I am for this rare chance. Anyways lets go, so it started off with Emeraude and she was so so so beautiful and sweet. She signed my book and complimented my (malec) shirt she also told me how she remembered me from the crowd and I almost died. After was the one and only matt daddario. He snook a signature into my book even though they said no more. He also said he liked my shirt and said he loved me after i told him the same (i actually died then) he then proceeded to ask me if i was ok because i started to cry lmao! After him was harry and he said he loved my shirt and said he remembered me from the aol interview (i died again) ((rip me)) and i was so shook!! And he gave me a tissue because i was in tears (you know damn well i didnt use that tissue im keeping that forever) and after him came Isaiah who smiled so beautifully at me and made sure I was alright (they were all so concerned aw) and signed my thing. After him was Dom and Alberto!! Dom saw my crying and told me it was this exact reaction that made him do what he does (is this my third death?? Fourth??) and noticed em didnt sign my paper so he took it went over and made Em signed it (AHHH) and while he was doing that Alberto saw me losing and and said “thats it i cant take it anymore” and walked around the table and hugGED ME AND NOW IM CRYING AGAIN THINKING ABOUT IT he will never know how much that meant to me. Because even though I didnt ask for it he must of saw he much he has affected me and knew how much I needed one. Truly the best day of my life and wow I chose the right show to fall in love with.


Pepper’s dead, Killian’s still running rampant, and Tony’s crash-landed somewhere that better be Antarctica damn it, JARVIS. Somehow he only has Thor’s crazy younger brother for company. Who thankfully hasn’t lost his shit yet. Because Tony’s not going to accidentally tell him about the adoption thing. Also those blue-skinned, blood-eyed giants? Not letting Loki anywhere near them.

Really, Tony’s fine with this being a huge, panic-induced dream.

I felt spring. (my digital art is shit)

Orphans Stick Together (Youth AU) || Closed @pmdsableyequeen

Rafe peeked out from around the side of Blissey’s daycare, eyes wide as she watched the locals go about their business.

All the young Pokemon staying there had just been let out to play in the summer sun. They were all out front, though… and the little Pichu had no friends among them anyway. Playing with balls and dolls and other little baubles just didn’t interest her. She’d rather watch the exploration teams run about town, storing their supplies, linking moves, withdrawing and depositing money… and most of all, talking about all the incredible missions they were about to go on.

Volcanos bubbling with magma… hidden caves filled to the brim with treasure… ancient ruins, towering mountains, deep seas… It was enough to make her little imagination run wild.

She hid as a Pokemon came too close to her hiding place, peeking out a few moments later…

She hadn’t been spotted.

The Pichu sighed, sinking down to sit on the ground.

Explorers seemed so brave… Excited all the time about their next great find… And they looked caring, too. They always seemed to sympathize with one another, wishing each other luck and saying next time would be different.

“I wish I was a’ explorer…” she sighed dreamily.

You? An explorer?!

Rafe squeaked, whirling around to see three young Pokemon. A Magby, a male Nidoran, and a Shinx. They were all older than her… and bigger… but they were still young enough to be in Blissey’s care.

The Shinx - a female, by the sound of it - laughed.

“Aww! But don’t you know? There are no Pichu on exploration teams! They’re too little!”

“And weak!” The Nidoran added.

“You’d shock yourself silly trying to fight through enemies!”

“And besides…” the Magby - male - cooed, almost sympathetically.

“Have you seen exploration team Pokemon? They’re all really cool and tough! There’s not a single one as cute as you!”

Rafe shrank back with each comment, tears starting to gather in her eyes.

“I-…! I-I’ll get bigger…! A-And stronger…! And I’m n-not cute!” she squeaked.

The older Pokemon laughed, Shinx gushing at her protests.

“Awww! Da widdle Pichu thinks she’s tough! How cute!”

“I-I’m not cute!” Rafe protested.

“Oh, you should see yourself!” Nidoran laughed.

“You’re fluffing up!”

Tears dribbled down her cheeks.

“S-Stop it!”

“Aww, don’t cry!” Magby giggled.

“A Pichu like you, you’re gonna –”


Rafe coughed a couple times, blinking as she realized what just happened.

She… She shocked herself… Again.

Her three antagonists blinked a few times… before bursting into raucous laughter.

“S-…Stoooop!” Rafe cried.


happy trans day everybody, ive been out of my parents house and on hrt for exactly 6 months and its a hell of a drug, both of them.

anyway im nonbinary and a girl and im gay, a lesbian. she/her. insurrection is imminent. please follow memes666

Oh god i don't want to let go of you.

I used to think about you and the sky would blush shades of pink and red. Today it rained inside my heart and i think the sky felt it too. I wonder if you felt it.
Please tell me you felt it too.  
“But one day someone will look at you the way you look at the sky”
how do i tell them you were my sky?
I wanted to find new shades of love in your eyes but i hope you find them in hers. I keep thinking about all the things i want to say to you but the truth is, you don’t want to hear it.
Not from me anyways.
The dull ache in my chest keeps calling your name and i hope she hurts me one last time so i know it’s real. It has to be real so i can let go of you.

So I’m trying out WrA A-side and I get invited to this guild, <The Wardens of Aessina>. Seems like a promising Heavy RP guild, and even had some fun random RP outside Lunarfall. So the guild leader Elysania decides to do some silly headcanon and ship my male druid with a female hunter in the guild. It’s funny, I don’t care, but I politely let them know that I, and my character, is gay. Well that doesn’t go over well.

She decided to say that the Kaldorei don’t look too well on it because it isn’t natural, then cut the conversation off when people started to disagree with her. I was a bit shocked, but also tired, so I just logged off.

Logged on this evening, she whispers me and then this happened. This is the first time I’ve actually experienced something like this happening in my years of RPing on this server and on this game and I’m surprised.

Anyway, if you’re looking for an accepting guild leader, then I suggest not looking here. 

A year had passed since Matt and Eva first got together, but three months before Matt had broken up with her. That didn’t stop her though to show up at the airport the day he finally came back. Her alarm clock didn’t ring, so she got there late, finding lots of fans already waiting for the boys. Trying to look behind them, Eva could see that Matt and his band mates were already going away, so she just started to push girls away to pass in front of them. They were for the most part younger than her, so it wasn’t really difficult, but she got anyway a few bruises and lots of bad words. When she got in the front, she saw body guards not letting people pass. Luckily, a girl tried to jump over the barriers, so the man in front of Eva left his place. Not missing another second, the brunette jumped over, running as fast as she could to not let the men catch her. “Dubois!” she screamed to make the boy turn around, before almost throwing herself in his arms, stopping right in front of him with so little space between their bodies. The girl stood there, panting and looking at him, not really sure on what to say since they hadn’t talked since he broke up with her. 

i haven’t seen this around among the many excellent theories, so i just wanna toss it out there:

Bigender Pidge. Genderfluid Pidge.

Pidge who is sometimes okay with he and sometimes with she and a lot of the time with both or either, but has days where there needs to be standing on a chair and loud correcting because not that one, not today. Pidge who has gotten used to figuring out how they feel today, and whether or not it matters, and he ends up explaining over and over sometimes because this is important today and other days she was up all night with robots and is too tired and doesn’t bother because today is one of those where each could be okay. Pidge who has a day where it is most definitely she, most definitely a girl day, and seizes the opportunity of feeling sold and real and right to try and explain, try and present, because this feels like the kind of thing that could go on for a while–

and then the next day “she” doesn’t fit anymore and when Lance uses “he” by accident and then tries to backtrack, Pidge tells him, “no, it’s fine”

and then next week, it’s back to “she”, and she’s afraid to explain this again, knows at some point they’re going to run out of patience, and so she just answers to whatever

and eventually the rest of the team might sort of forget, and Pidge is always Pidge but depending on the day or the month or the minute can have to avoid everyone else because hearing them talk about him with the wrong pronouns is too hard.

Pidge knows that she can’t expect them to keep up or deal with switching pronouns on an irregular basis, and isn’t going to try and ask. it can’t be really worth it, can it? he’s used to riding things out, to waiting for them to change, and it’s so hard to explain that sometimes she’s a she and sometimes he’s a he and

is there a point to it, really.

So yeah. Genderfluid Pidge who is too goddamn tired and afraid to explain themselves anymore.

So I’m thinking here for a while that Lily knew Remus was a werewolf… It sounds almost like from the Prince’s Tale that her thoughts were “don’t ask, don’t tell?” I mean, I don’t think she would have embarrassed Remus by asking him after Snape presented his theory, but let us look at the evidence here:

Snape: They sneak out at night.  There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going? 

Lily: He’s ill. They say he’s ill.

Snape: Every month at the full moon?

Lily: I know your theory,” she sounded cold, “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?

Now, ever since I was a kid, I have always been interested in Lily’s character, and we’re told sooooooo little about her. This passage has interested me for a while. Just from the way JKR says Lily “sounded cold” when Snape brings up Lupin being a werewolf suggests that she does believe Lupin is a werewolf,  is angry that Snape is bringing it up, but isn’t going to risking out him by agreeing with Snape because she likes Remus as a person. In her last bit of dialogue to Snape her attitude is basically “what does is matter if they’re sneaking out?” If Lily were the stick-in-the-mud!Lily here that a lot of fanon loves to make her out to be, why not help Snape? The boys are sneaking out after all. But instead she’s just like “Does it matter if they’re sneaking out?” 

My theory here is that Lily is pretty sure the boys are sneaking out, but guesses they are somehow helping Remus, and therefore decides the best thing she can do in this situation is act like she doesn’t know/care about the situation, especially given Snape’s obsession with the boys. 

Find the Time

Long after their honeymoon and Dora learning to walk, the same little girl learned to control her hair color based on emotion and what she thought was pretty when she looked in her mother’s mirror in the morning. Most days it stayed pink but when Andy was especially happy it was a blueish-green. And when Ted came home whistling a bright and merry tune, her hair was yellow like a sunflower.

And like teenagers or rabbits, or which ever euphemism fits best, most nights ended with them screaming each other’s name and falling asleep with I love you on their lips. Until one morning- Andy was sick and she thought she knew why. She let Ted go to work, telling him she’d be fine. And as soon as she was gone, she waved her wand and performed a medical charm on herself and what she thought was true. Ted had an inkling but didn’t want to assume. He wanted to let her tell him. He knew she would anyway. And she did. He came home from work, exhausted and covered printer ink and she about tackled him before saying they were pregnant.

Ted was elated. Another kid! Maybe a son this time. Oh, to have a son. He could do right by his son, be the man his father never was. He wasn’t sure how he would afford it but he’d figure it out. He always did somehow. And so he kissed her a billion times all over and held her close as they leaned against the front door. He kissed her gently and full of passion before saying he loved her.

imagine dave and jade growing up together and when all the other boys go through that phase where it’s gross to hang out with girls dave just doesn’t play along because he thinks jade is the fucking coolest and when the other boys make fun of him for it jade scares them away

then in middle school people start making fun of her teeth because she won’t get braces and her big dorky glasses and it doesn’t really bother her that much because she only cares what her friends think but dave bitches them all out anyway and she lets him because she thinks it’s sweet 

then in high school kids from other cities are around and are always confused why the weird quiet kid who writes in a notebook all the time and never takes off his shades is best friends with the cute bubbly girl who’s captain of the swim team and everyone loves even if she’s kinda strange

but he goes to all her swim meets and she comes to see his small time dj gigs and hang out at band rehearsals and they’re basically never apart and they eat lunch with their other friends in the garden and their senior year they get voted ‘most unlikely couple’ in the yearbook even though they aren’t actually dating (yet)

I’m seeing some tension goin’ around towards the Hanna fandom and it makes me sad :( I was going to save this for after Hanna week, but I’m posting this to bring some cheer, hopefully! Let’s make friendships not war u_u Everyone is free to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike.  So this sketch I’m dedicating to all the wonderful people in the Hanna community. We’re a strong bunch, an accepting bunch. We can stick together. *sending big, warm hugs*



What Anna should have said to Hans:

“Oh, I’M the desperate one, AM I? When YOU asked me to marry you just like that!”

Love is a backhanded comment…

I swear, they’re so perfect for each other it hurts…

Hans you adorable jackwagon. You’d make Anna a great husband/king as long as you get that crazy in check.


Princess Race (Naruto canon couples)

TenTen: Lee! why are you carrying those two? I’m the princess!

Lee: Don’t you pity them, TenTen? they don’t have a beautiful and youthful girlfriend like me.

Kiba: I have a girlfriend, idiot! Her name’s Tamaki she is far prettier than yours!

TenTen: Wanna fight, punk?!

Shino: …


Sakura: Oh, Sasuke. This is so romantic…

Sasuke: We are going to lose against the hot-blooded freaks

Sakura: Who cares? ^^


Sai: I’ve read a lot about princesses in books and they always own a white horse. This is how you do a princess race, right?

Ino: It’s not, but let’s continue anyway. Sakura is going to die from envy.


Temari: I’m tired of your “this is a drag” bullsh&t. I’m not gonna lose, so let’s switch roles.

Shikamaru: Wait, I’m the princess now?!


Karui: Run faster and I’ll buy you another bag of snacks

Chouji: Yes, honey!!!!!


Naruto: There’s only one Moon-princess and she is my wife. Let’s go, Hinata… ttebayo!!!!

Hinata: Konoha’s strongest are here… tte… ttebayo!!!!!!!!!!!

Naruto: That’s my girl!

Source of the pics


I asked my friend Cameron to explain to me why I loved Sansa so much. This is what she said.


Allow me to expand on that obvious and yet unilluminating (no pun intended) statement with a fire metaphor- Dany’s character development is like a fire; once it starts, it burns and burns. It’s easy to love her immediately, because the flames go high. Also, those flames burn slavers, who are the sort of universal bad guy. Pretty much everybody also loves dragons (except slavers, but nobody likes them anyways, right?). The people who don’t like her say this is all just flash in the pan, and get annoyed when she makes mistakes. Because she’s FIRE, right? NO MISTAKES FOR FIRE.

Sansa’s character development (and, let’s face it, her CHARACTER) is more like embers out of ashes: for a while, you think the fire’s not even there, because all you see is the ash. Then you start to notice the cherry glow. It smolders, it survives. The heat intensifies, but slowly. Where we are in the books, the fire is about to start. For me at least, that is more exciting than a bonfire: the moments of gathering strength, right before everything catches alight. Because, you know, she is going to burn the WORLD. People who don’t like her are saying, “But guys, GUYS: THERE’S ASH. ARE YOU NOT NOTICING THE ASH HERE.” But, you know, there’s embers, too. She is going to burn the world.