Today, I fucked up... by telling a "joke" during dinner
So, my wife met an old friend of hers a few days ago and decided to invite her over with her husband for a dinner. We recently moved to a new apartament and I guess wifey wanted to show off how nice of a kitchen we have. I had a vague memory of who that friend is and I remember I didn’t like her too much - let’s call her X for this story.
Anyway, we prepared an asian meal together for them (we like asian food and it’s what we usually cook for our guests too). X arrived with her husband soon after and we all sat for the dinner.
It wasn’t going that bad at first; I made them laugh with a few jokes and we had a pleasant conversation. Suddenly, X pulled out a hair out of her chicken strip. It was long and she looked at it with disgust. My wife turned all red and started to frantically apologize while X looked at us with that face of disgust and contempt (she’s a bit of a b*tch and clearly a false woman, I really have no idea why my wife is friends with her).
I wanted to save the day somehow; my thoughts were racing and without any second thought, I spilled the “joke” out of my mouth:
“Ya know it could’ve be worse, could’ve been a pube”
All of a sudden (I have no idea why), X puked all over her place at the table. She tried to cover her mouth with her hands but it didn’t help too much. My wife was looking at me with eyes wide open. X let out some inhuman sounds and furiously walked towards the door, slamming them. Her husband gave us a quick look, muttered “sorry” and rushed after her, collecting her shoes from the corridor. My wife only said “really? REALLY?” and closed herself in the bathroom. I think she’s taking a bath. I cleaned up all the mess but she still didn’t leave the bathroom.
UPDATE: I think the things settled down a bit. My wife said I’m the dumbest man ever but she still loves me.