voltron shrek au
alright. alright alright alright alright.
- KEITH is quite obviously SHREK. loner. off-putting personality. intimidating at first. probably smells weird. odd concept of what constitutes hygiene. good heart. not the best socially. puts in effort that often goes unnoticed thanks to preconceived notions. could benefit from a lot of hugs. impulsive. also: keith lives out in the desert, shrek lives out in the swamp.
- GET OUT OF MY SHACK (BASS DROPS) SHACKSHACKSHACKSHACKshaaaaaCK
- now this may throw some of you for a loop, but HUNK is DONKEY. anxious. tendency to ramble. appreciative of what’s important. vocal about it when annoyed or upset. supportive and loving, but ultimately aware of your bullshit and will call you on it if necessary. scares easily. aware of his own mortality. gets stuck in threatening situations because of his friends. tries to have a positive outlook. a good friend to have on your side. hilarious. genuine. would make u waffles.
- LANCE is FIONA. critically underestimated. demands the #best out of life. a little spoiled + loves to be pampered. petty as hell. easy to toss over your shoulder. sarcasm as a pseudo-coping mechanism. actually very accepting. big heart. not afraid of Emotions. hard fucking worker. lowkey leadership skills. damsel in distress but accompanied by the trope of being Surprisingly Competent. grody jokes. certified nastie. genuinely supportive pal. will fuck u up… but at what cost… at what cost….
and did somebody say PLOT??????
- haha too bad, i don’t have one
- ok that’s a lie i have half of one
- keith is the human child of a galra commander who was killed in battle. he basically raised himself on this alien planet away from everyone else because he wasn’t accepted and treated as an outsider/monstrosity
- lance, a prophesied paladin of voltron, is kidnapped from earth and locked away in space with the discovered lion, left there to rot as bait for the other eventual paladins/lions
- it’s surprisingly effective as a means of weeding out the rebels against galra rule
- that is until zarkon starts taking captives instead of killing them all, because he still is no closer to obtaining the black, yellow, or green lions
- shortly after this is when shiro manages to escape and crash land on earth, found by hunk and pidge, who are desperate in their search to recover their lost friend lance, whose disappearance (*pidge voice* ABDUCTION) was covered up by The Garrison, same as the disappearance of pidge’s family
- (yes, this makes SHIRO the GINGERBREAD MAN)
- hunk and pidge rescue shiro, repair his crashed ship with their beautiful genius brains, and head towards the Castle of Lions with swiped secret info + coordinates from The Garrison—- who, they find, knew exactly what happened to lance, pidge’s family, and why
- the galra start dumping the captives for keeping on keith’s land, so that they can have them on hand for gladiatorial training, slavery, or other uses. keith is livid, but mostly because he has to deal with Change and People and Things Were Fine The Way They Were, Like, They Sucked, But He Wasn’t Dwelling On It Okay and Still, This Is Worse
- once hunk, pidge, and shiro have teamed up with ALLURA (ARTHUR) and CORAN (MERLIN), hunk goes alone to retrieve the yellow lion, but ends up getting captured by the galra en route
- this is how hunk and keith meet
- hunk figures out what’s happening based on keith’s angry ranting, and when sendak promises keith that if he can find a way to use the blue paladin to lure out the rest of voltron, he can have his lonely little asteroid planet back
- hunk uses this as an opportunity to go save lance!!!!! and good thing he does because keith needs him to help save the day on balmera thanks to his beautiful new She’s-Not-My-Girlfriend, SHAY.
- keith doesn’t know what he’s going to do once they get there and meet this stupid, trouble-making blue paladin
- defect against the galra? double-cross the paladins to get his home back?? was it even really a home to begin with??
- he CERTAINLY doesn’t plan… to fall in Love…………………..
just,,, LISten ,,
- keith: it’s no wonder u don’t have any friends? hunk: wow, only a True friend would be that Truly Honest?
- (keith driving over a cliff) 🎶 I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION 🎶
- hunk: (looks between keith and lance in disbelief) he’s as nasty as you are?
- lance: (singing) bird: (explodes)
- when a galra in the bush grabs a paladin by the tush that’s bad that’s bad that’s really really bad
- keith: what am i? pidge: uh… really tall?
- keith getting shot in the butt and lance having to pull it out
- is that a euphemism
- i don’t know
- mullets are like onions
- hunk: blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I WASN’T COLORBLIND
- blue flower 😎 red thorns 😎 #investigate
and that’s just the first movie,,