What kind of things could go wrong flower-wise before a big, lavish wedding? I need a very entitled, asshole character to be freaking out about something. Thanks!
Oooooh my a wedding ask!
*rubs grubby little florist hands*
Let’s see there’s a lot my darling, we can actually draw from my final exam where one of the most horrible things went wrong. And this was for a bridal bouquet too.
I couldn’t get two types of flowers I had listed. One, I remember were Scabiosa (the seed heads) and it was only due to much luck and a very nice, helpful lady that I acquired them very much last minute. The other was worse though. I had two types roses and one of them we were barely able to get and the one package we got was in rather poor condition, just barely enough of what I needed and barely enough to pass the judges critical eyes. Let me tell you, I was in much panic, as it became clear that I might not be able to work like I had planned. Everything turned out well in the end, but still, I never want to experience that panic again.
So let’s make a fun list of all the horrible things that can happen:
What the bride wants the bride can’t have:
- Can’t get the flowers in questions. To be more precise, the specific variety they requested isn’t produced commercially anymore and similar varieties just won’t do.
- The Flower™ the bride wants, we can only find in poor shape on this dreadful day. We need a replacement asap, and maybe even that is impossible. Cue panicked florist.
- The flower they want does not exist naturally and faking it isn’t an option for the bride (Blue roses do not exist, though horticulturists are trying, if you see blue roses it’s probably white roses with blue colouring in the water).
- The colour in question is unavailable.
- She wants an all blue wedding but doesn’t like 3 of the like 8 flowers in total that are actually blue. Don’t trust a florist when they say blue, it’s lilac or violet. I’m not kidding, blue is almost impossible to get and like 70% of all that’s blue is artificially coloured.
What the bride wants isn’t what the bride needs:
- She somehow had the glorious idea of incorporating lilies and now the pollen ruined something of Importance™. Seriously kids, keep lilies away from cloth and for the love of whatever is holy to you don’t try to rub it off, you’ll have an orange stain for basically ever on your clothes/table cloth/etc.
- The bride wants a stargazer lily boutonnière for the ring bearer, or three foot wide statement pieces made only of misty blue.
- The bride wants misty blue at all, it smells awful.
- The bride wants a specific flower and a specific design shape and the two aren’t compatible. (wants tall designs, waterfall bouquet or Hogarth curves with flowers with short stems and refuses to budge on adding foliage and other items to make it work).
- None of the replacements make the bride happy. At all.
Someone screwed up:
- They accidentally break something and don’t have a replacement.
- The wholesaler didn’t deliver the flowers on time.
- The wholesaler delivered the flowers, but they are subpar, with tears, discolourations and other problems
- The flowers get delivered to the wrong place (maybe the florist has two weddings that day and the drivers get mixed up).
- Water drops on white roses. In general they will form ugly little brown splotches after a while, but on white it’s the worst.
- Someone didn’t pay attention to the water supply and it shows. (The flower heads go soft without proper water supply, they will hang and will show minor signs of wilting. Trust me it shows when they exceeded their limit.) It’s actually best to let the flowers soak water for a day or two before the Big Day, so they’re full of water and really just that for maximum prettiness.
- Wrong storage and it shows. (Too warm and everything will wither too quickly, too cold and well have you ever defrosted something like strawberries with a lot of water inside, same thing, only less mushy. hen they thaw they will droop, and fall apart. Mod Den’s note: this happened to my senior prom corsage, my date didn’t understand “country talk” when he was told to put it in the icebox).
- The flowers don’t get done in time. (most of the time these will be made the day of the wedding, max the day before if it’s early or large, if someone gets hurt or sick on the team, especially the primary florist, then it’s going to be tough getting everything done in time for a big wedding).
- The Florist gets injured and there is no replacement the bride likes. (A good ol’ case of pruners to the hand with a neat bloody hole that hurts like hell. Just make sure it’s the hands or they will be required to sit because I guarantee you making floral arrangements while you’re sitting has a much worse outcome than when standing. Trust me, I tired. I was tired.)
- If it’s specifically the arrangement she needs to criticise, it can be almost anything: height, weight, colour, a type of flower, the arrangement itself. (Remember art is subjective and what’s pretty to you and me doesn’t have to be to her.)
So I hope this helpful and you found a few things to anger your bride with!
- Mods Jana & Den