but seriously where is that rain

The Lampmen

The Lampmen

Honestly, I’m not sure what we should call em. As far as the gentry are concerned they’re pretty innocuous. Not dangerous at all really, in fact they’re downright friendly, but they’re uh…

They’re odd, and I call them the Lampmen. They seem to like the name well enough. At the very least, I’ve not had anything bad happen to me so I guess it’s cool.

So The Lampmen. What are they? How do I know them on sight, and what to do?

Like…Ok. You ever walk somewhere dark on the green or the campus streets? Somewhere just off the beaten path, somewhere where the gentle green light of the lamps don’t reach? So You know, doing something unfathomably stupid?

Well ok, seriously don’t do that. But if you do happen to do it, you’ll probably see these guys. Tall, not unusually mind, but they’re puffy. Like…They look like they’re wearing one of those big warm sweater jackets and one of those heavy rain coats. You know the ones that look like you could dive into a pool and walk out dry? One of those deals, with sweats, and a pulled up hood.

Kind of moth like really.


But anyway, you see these puffy looking dudes and they’ll just walk with you. It’s nothing fancy, and it ain’t threatening despite what you normally find in the off beaten dark spots, they just…Walk with ya. Chat a bit. Real light talk, what’re your classes, how ya doing, you hear what happened to those nice ladies on the corner? That sort of chattery.

Well, I say they walk with you but you walk with them. Don’t know how it happens, but inevitably you just sort of end up following them down the twisting streets and past a few odd cafes and eventually you find yourself back on the campus streets next to a streetlamp.

And then they’ll just stand there staring at the light til you’re out of sight. Like…Ok I know it’s kind of dumb but I thanked one because you know…Did me a solid. He(?) just sort of cooed at me and kept staring at the light and…That was it.

I’ve had this happen to me like ten times, because I am an idiot, and nothing seemed to happen to me.

I did however start seeing them everywhere. Like, I didn’t notice it before but they’re all around the street lamps when it gets dark.

Not all of the lamps.

Enough of them though.

So that’s neat but otherwise just one more thing on the campus. Here’s the thing though. You know those…Campus Parties. You know the big end of the year ones that tend to spring up right around finals.

Those ones.

Well I was out one night-Again I know it’s incredibly stupid- and well I very nearly got caught up in one. Would have been an interesting time to be sure but as I had only a pinch of salt and definitely nowhere near enough iron to rate anywhere near safe I figured I was going to have to hope I came back soon enough and in one piece.


I could do what I actually did, which was make the dumb mistake that would only of course get them all kinds riled up and fucking bolt like a rabbit off the beaten path and.

Look you can stop, I know exactly how stupid that was. I’d like to see you handle it when a party bus was headed your way laden to the gills with excitable gentlefolk.

And of course, I got lost. And of course, that really didn’t stop them. But bed made and panic high I just kept running until I didn’t.

I started to walk.

And next to me, of course, is one of these puffy dudes just chilling, ambling with me, chatting away about nothin. And after a while, I end up at a lamp, he’s staring at it transfixed, and I can see the sun rising and no party bus in sight.

I am almost certain they saved me. Gave a quick thanks, he cooed and…

Well that’s The Lampmen. I still don’t know what’s up.


Goldilocks || 04

Rated M (language and smut)

Warnings: dry humping, breast play

Summary: After getting evicted, your two best friends Jimin and Taehyung offer you a place to stay until you get back on your feet. Needless to say, with a part time job and a mountain of student debt, that’s not happening any time soon. Eventually, they DO become really fond of having you around, helping with chores and even splitting rent. So when you come home one day to find someone has been sleeping in your couch-bed, well… it’s something you won’t take lightly.

Out of context Goldilocks quote:
“If you guys are done making butt jokes I’d really like to watch this movie.”

Link to: Goldilocks Masterlist || Previous Part || Next Part

not my gif, credit to owner


A/N: OH LOOK THE RATING CHANGED. Yeah so imma just leave this here and run. No EOPQ, but feedback is appreciated and depending on the reaction, I might be a hoe and drop 05 tomorrow. If you’re someone who doesn’t like smut, asterisk* is where it starts, skip until the *asterisk where it ends. You won’t be missing plot stuff. I made sure of that. NOW I’M GONNA RUN BYE~~


Taehyung has always loved boobs.

It has become apparent over the past few years of your close friendship that it isn’t even a sexual thing sometimes. He simply loves boobs. Perky, droopy, big, small, even man-boobs. He’s explained several times that “they’re just like, really comfy, okay?”

The sad thing is, you can completely believe him, and this is one of the main reasons why you choose to cross your arms when he begins pleading, unabashed as Jungkook and Jimin look on.

“Baby, just come cuddle with me,” Taehyung laughs, gesturing in a pitiful attempt to persuade you to join him, speaking loudly to be heard above both the pouring rain outside and the dialogue of the movie.

“Go take care of your boner first,” you retort.

Taehyung’s lips slip into an easy, suggestive smile, “Wanna help me with that? Or should I say… give me a hand?”

You stifle a laugh, “The only hand I’ll be giving you is my entire fist up your ass.”

“Damn baby, that’s a bit much. Can’t we just start with a finger?”

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what I love in BTS Run ep 13 (Jimin, Jikook/Kookmin)

I only watched Run ep. 13 once, but there were so many cute Jikook interactions. I’d love to watch it again to spot all of those, but I still haven’t recovered from Jimin’s Forehead Syndrome… But anyhow, I’m here doing the screencap again~

Seriously, keep Park Jimin away from the water I’m tired. The stage where they performed BST in the rain still haunts me until today, and they just have to go and put Jimin in a pool.


ah, let’s see

1. Jungkook hitting/tapping on Jimin’s back to stop him from portraying “Run Bangtan” at the beginning. Like boy, who’s the hyung here again?

2. I’d love to see Jimin in Jungkook’s eyes, how does Jimin look like?

3. Jungkook’s scream “ahhh~ yahhh~” in the background when Jimin was competing xD

4. Jimin being an angel he is, my members come first before me ♥

5. I’m enjoying this concept a lot, Jungkook praising Jimin is one of the cutest things ever ♥

6. Erm, thanks? Thank you, Jeon Jungkook and Jung Hoseok. I didn’t ask for this. From this point on I couldn’t pay attention to what is going on anymore…

*don’t miss Jungkook’s “uh/oh wow” in the background, it’s him, people, it’s his*

And I have to say this once more, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM WATER, PARK JIMIN-SSI!!!

7. Cuties whispering

8. *after Jimin and Taehyung’s cheering* awwww~, happy much? 

8. Jungkook’s highfive and Jimin’s hand grabbing in the corner

9. *sorry I just had to*

10. Am I the only one who finds Jimin so effortlessly attractive here? Like he’s so charming when he focuses on something, he even makes my heart race… And look at those lips…

11. yeah, slay my life, bae, slayyyyyy 

12. Jungkook praising Jimin ep. 2

erm… that strong hand grabbing tho…

13. Cuties about to high five, and Kook spoke in satoori to Jimin, Busan couple indeed 

14. *sorry I just had to again*

15. Kook’s non-stop clapping

16. stop high-fiving each other will ya? How many times already?

17. what’s with that face, Jimin?

18. You sure are having fun there, Jeon Jungkook-ssi?

Okay I’ll stop here since I’m running out of internet data again, fml TT_TT

Anyhow, thank you for reading through this. I planned to only make it short and see how I ended up *sigh*. I hate myself.

Ah, we need a conclusion, LONG LIVE JIMIN’S FOREHEAD.


ah wait, who do you guess is the spy? Share your thoughts ^-^~

Here’s my guess from highest chance to lower:

1st. Jeon Jungkook (I doubt him right from the start, dunno why, just a feeling~)

2nd. Jung Hoseok (I dunno, sth is off, but Hoseok is not good at lying so…)

3rd. Park Jimin (you know how they say love is blind, so yeah, maybe I’m blinded by his light that I couldn’t suspect him well enough)

You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
—  Kane and then Bellamy accepting it. Thank God someone FINALLY friggin’ said it to him!! Like jeez. I get it, Octavia is important to him, but she shouldn’t define him like this. Sometimes, I really hate Aurora Blake… For putting all that crap in his head. I seriously thought Bellamy was gonna pull an Octavia and jump into the rain.

anonymous asked:

what's the gay pilot?? i'm confused


The pilot episode of Sherlock (dubbed ‘The Gay Pilot’ by many fans) is the initial result at the first go at BBC Sherlock that was proposed. It’s on the bonus features of the Season 1 DVD and Blu-Ray, I know. It was initially named ‘A Touch of Pink’ and it’s called the gay pilot because in it Sherlock and John are like full-blown gay for one another and many people think they had to tone it down a notch for the real deal so that it wasn’t so obvious. 

It’s about half an hour shorter than most episodes of the show, doesn’t feature Mycroft at all, has a different actress for Sally, and Anderson looks in the pilot like he does in Series 3. It’s super gay with skinny jeans, bad special effects, bad music, 221B had a different set that looked like a rockstar-themed child bedroom from a Pottery Barn catalog, the cabbie and Sherlock have their ‘good bottle v. bad bottle’ showdown in 221B and Sherlock looks like the Most twink you would not believe. 

You can read more about it here and watch it here.

Seriously though. It’s really gay. I mean -

Seriously. It doesn’t end there.

There’s even a horrible scene with music that sounds like it’s from an adult film where John is looking up in amazement at Sherlock on the roof of a building in the rain like he’s Batman. 

See? Fucking gay batman shit. You can watch a clip of that scene here.

It is widely believed that in the pilot universe, John and Sherlock #scored one another that very first night that they solved a case together and are happily together in present day.

If you’ve got the time, I encourage you to watch it. Really I do. It’s just under an hour long and it’s gay as Sherlock himself.

So go ahead. Watch it.

Witch Tip:

You’ve probably heard this from a million other witches, but I want to stress the importance of CLEANSING.
I am not joking, little witchlings. This is super duper serious.
when I was a young, dumb little practitioner, I thought it too tedious and unnecessary to go around cleansing every little thing. So I thought it’d be fine for me to not cleanse anything at all.
oh, dear stars, was I wrong.
for entire years, I couldn’t perform a ritual or cast a spell or do ANY little magickal thing without it backfiring or something horrible happening in the very near future.
it seriously, genuinely hurt me to practice magick without keeping my safety and comfort as a top priority.
so please, dear witchlings, learn the importance of cleansing before you take a slap to the face later on in life for neglecting it.
ESPECIALLY if you’re in a home absolutely infected with negativity and drama coming from your housemates, be them family or roommates, what have you. You know what I’m talking about. The living situation where you literally can’t walk out of your room without someone trying to rain on your parade. I was in that place once, please learn this, or regret it forever.

the eyes to pull me in (lucaya)

basically i wrote this for secret santa and i thought it could use a repost ;) also, if you read this, shoot me an ask and lmk if i should change my url to trahgedy or not!!

It was never supposed to get that far. Lucas and Maya, together. Before that night, they could maintain the tremulous balance, so close to toppling. No one was supposed to get hurt. No one was ever supposed to acknowledge that they did get hurt. If it wasn’t for the rain and the stupid, stupid bus, then things would probably have worked out alright for just a bit longer.  But it was just Maya Hart’s luck to get caught in a thunderstorm.

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Petrichor (n) the smell of earth after rain.

Or the one where they can’t take death seriously anymore (even if it still hurts).

Read on Ao3

He gets the call around 4:00 AM in the morning and almost dislocates his shoulder in the attempt to grab the phone on the nightstand without raising his head from the pillow. Once he sees the name on the screen he’s really tempted to just throw the phone away and go back to sleep. He answers it just because of Dick. A lot of his decisions lately are because of Dick. He doesn’t know why or, at least, he’s never in the right mood to get all introspective and actually find out all the reasons for this new misplaced sense of guilt that’s been affecting him since the day of his brother’s funeral. Like with almost every other thing in his life (and in his death) he just goes with it.

“Hey B.”, he forces himself to answer, keeping his voice purposely rough to make sure Bruce understands he’s bothering him without actually telling it to his face. Baby steps, he supposes.

Bruce doesn’t seem to care about his subtleties anyway, because he only grunts into the speaker of his comm.

“Damian’s missing”, he says, getting straight to the point. He doesn’t add anything, doesn’t even pretend to ask for his help, he just expects it right away.

And a month ago, hell, even a week ago, Jason would’ve answered with something along the line of “and why should that be my problem?” or even a more straightforward “the fuck I care?” and then hung up on him for good measure, but now those words barely flash through his mind while he gets up from the bed and starts looking for his boots.

“Is that a “someone kidnapped him” missing or a “I yelled at him and he stomped away and when I checked his room he wasn’t there and now I can’t find him” missing?”, he asks, knowing that whatever the answers is he’s going to help anyway. Though the first option sounds honestly better to him, at least there would be someone to punch. But Bruce doesn’t answer him, so.

“Okay, the second one then”, he sighs, not surprised at all. “Did he take his bike or one of the cars? Please tell me he didn’t take the jet because I’m honestly not awake enough to fly around the States looking for your son.”

And again, a month ago, hell, even a week ago, Damian taking off to blow some steam on his own wouldn’t have been such a big problem. Rather the contrary, in fact. Often enough giving Damian some space was the best course of action for keeping the good health of everyone involved. But right now the kid is dealing with both his own resurrection and the death of the person he arguably loved more than everything else in the world, his own parent and maybe even his own pets included. Because the shit in their life works like that. Go big or go home it’s the ongoing motto.

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anonymous asked:

requesting: how the bros would propose to their s/o. thank you! :D

[ISEB Author’s Note: I’m going to omit Noctis from this prompt (sorry, Noct fans) because it stands to reason that the details of his royal betrothal were regrettably outside of his control. #suckstobehim]

Prompto: Blondie would, of course, have the biggest, grandest, most romantic proposal in mind when popping the question to his partner. And like sending him into battle without a plethora of hi-potions and phoenix downs in stock I mean seriously is it too much to ask of him to just stay alive for five goddamned seconds jfc, all of his best-laid plans would go horribly awry. Maybe the roads to Galdin Quay where he had intended to whisk them away to for an exotic getaway were blocked by a herd of stubborn Mesmenir. Maybe the reservation he had made months in advance for a candlelit dinner at the Mother of Pearl was lost. Maybe the personalized fireworks show he had arranged with Bob’s Bait Emporium was cancelled due to rain. At least they still have their spacious accommodations at the Quayside Cradle to retreat to, although with the poor visibility, there’s not much to look at through their floor-to-ceiling window other than grey skies and torrential waves. His quickly-deflating positivity finally reaches its breaking point and he buries his sobbing face into a pillow; “I just wanted everything to be perfect,” he’ll wail, “so I can give you this.” But when he produces the ring—a trio of blue diamonds, to bring out his lover’s eyes—and they begin to shed tears of pure, unadulterated joy, only then will he realize that the most memorable moments in life are not necessarily governed by the circumstances surrounding them.

Gladio: He’s had the ring for what feels like an eternity; he keeps it in his pocket at all times, but he can’t quite bring himself to make the leap. Because at its most fundamental level, marriage represents a promise, a sacred oath, a lifelong vow of service that must be preserved at all costs, and no one takes vows more seriously than the men who bear the Amicitia family name. Gladiolus has a duty to protect the ones he holds dear, but he’s failed before; when he looks into his partner’s eyes, doubt stifles his resolve—doubts about himself, about whether he can be the man they need him to be, now and for the rest of their life. His paramour has witnessed this apprehensive side of him before, and they know to leave him alone when his brooding grows increasingly more despondent, because they understand that only by looking inward will the big man ever make peace with the daemons that plague his conscience. When his turmoil gets to be too suffocating even for him, Gladio looks to nature for solace; a hike can always be counted on to help clear the mind, and some beautiful flowers blossom near the Rock of Ravatogh this time of year. But it isn’t blue petals as far as the eye can see that take his breath away when he reaches the final crest; his lover is already there waiting for him, because of course they are, because just as they recognize when to give him the space he needs, they also recognize just when it’s time for him to lay down his defenses and rely on someone else’s strength for a spell. His indecisiveness evaporates, and he withdraws the simple, unadorned band—forged from unbreakable Adamantite, as strong as his love—for Gladio knows that enlightenment is not found in solitude at the end of a journey, but in the company of those he cherishes most along the way.

Ignis: The strategist has no ring to give; objectively speaking, it would be rather selfish of him to burden a paramour with a lifetime of his disability. The facts are simply the facts, and wallowing in pity will neither nullify that logic nor reverse the damage done to his sight. So he attempts to make light of his circumstances by indulging his partner in humorous quips about how utterly absurd it would be for a blind man to purchase a wedding band; he’d more than likely be taken advantage of by an unscrupulous shopkeeper, and leave the premises a few thousand gil lighter carrying the ugliest stone in all of Eos in his hip satchel. His efforts at self-deprecation are merely a facade, however, for on the inside Ignis can hardly stand the unfairness of it all; in his darkest moments, he’ll concede to himself that the sacrifices he has made are small drops in the bucket to the man who gave up everything for love of crown. But when his lover takes his arm and gently guides him to sit on a bench where he can hear the sound of waves crashing off the shore—Cape Caem, he thinks—and he feels the sensation of cold metal slip onto the third finger of his left hand, he’ll realize he doesn’t need to see the ring to know that beauty is not represented by tangible tokens of affection, but lies within one’s heart and mind. He may have lost the use of his eyes, but Ignis Scientia understands he has gained something altogether more visionary.

Summary: Mari and Chat have grown close, and he visits her often. One day, Chat is sad and finds himself on her roof

“Hi! Bye!” Marinette said quickly, practically running through the bakery. She waved to her amused parents, and rushed up to her room, thrusting her school bags into a corner.

She was so close to finishing this dress. She needed just one mega-effective work sesh to complete it- and she was determined that it would be done by tomorrow.

Tikki watched from her forgotten purse, giggling silently. She decided a sneak mission for cookies downstairs wasn’t inappropriate- Mari wouldn’t miss her at this point. She glanced once more at her girl- who was now dancing slightly with her headphones in, and grinned, slipping through the trap door.


Chat was not having a good day.

First, he had received a C on his last paper- seriously, shouldn’t he be exempt? He had only idk, been saving freaking Paris! Again, he might add!

Then of course, it HAD to start raining during the photoshoot today, which definitely didn’t make the bossing and flashes and incessant chatter from the photographer any better.

And now, here he was, on patrol, and Ladybug was nowhere to be found. It had not been on good terms that last time they left each other- all he had done was accidentally walk into where she had hidden for her transformation! Okay, maybe it wasn’t so “on accident”, but how was he supposed to win her undying love if he didn’t even know who she was?

Add to that that his plan hadn’t even worked! She had ducked into another room to transform, after viciously attacking him- come on, his puns sooo did not make her want to scream. They were purrr-fect!

Chat grinned, but it faded quickly. He scratched the back of his neck, looking down at the flooded streets so far below him. Any other day he might have admired the aesthetic of the darkened streets, the reflecting water, the dozens of colorful umbrellas, but right now he just felt cold and wet.

Not that it mattered particularly to anyone. Clearly Ladybug had some aversion to him, and he had always doubted she would ever return his feelings. His father kept him close like a prized possession, but didn’t actually care about him, as a person, not an extension of the Agreste family name. Then there was his mother, who hated him so much that she had literally run away from being his mom.

Ya, definitely a crappy day.

Chat pushed these thoughts from his mind. He already felt bad enough- there was no need for extra depression right now. He stood, and took a couple steps away from the edge. Then, with a bit of a running start, he leaped to the next building, and the next, and the next, on and on until for a moment, he wasn’t even sure he knew where he was.

But he looked around, at the pots of plants, the twirling iron railing, and found he did know. He smiled, a true, happy smile, and drifted to where a skylight shone pink light from the room beneath.

He peered into the slightly dirtied glass, and his smile grew deeper. There, among a mess of fabrics, skillfully sketched designs, and sewing equipment, was his Princess.

Chewing on her lip, her eyes skewed in concentration, arms thrust almost forcefully onto the mannequin front of her, she had her headphones in, and her hips swaying slightly to a tune.


As he watched, she pinned one last thing onto the stand- onto what was likely a fashion masterpiece, knowing her- and grinned triumphantly. Her legs and feet joined her hips, and soon she was all out dancing, giggling and lost in her music.

Then, with all her Marinette-ness, she lost her balance, falling into the pile of fabric at her feet. Her smile never left her face, however, and Chat felt happiness swirl into his own stomach as he watched her.

“Somebody loooo-oooves Marinette!” sang Plagg’s voice in his head.

“Come on- you know that is reserved for Ladybug,” Chat said, scoffing, even as he continued to gaze down at his Princess.

“It’s sickeningly clear from in your head- you think about her all the time, you come here whenever you can- come on bro! Think about it!”

He did think about it- the fuzzy way he felt in the pit of his stomach when he was around her, how much he was attracted to her- he had arrived on the roof of her room without even trying! His eyes widened in realization.

“Plagg- I love Marinette!”

“Sure, act like you got there all on your own,” his kwami grumbled, but Chat could definitely hear a pleased note. “Well- go on, tell her already!”

Chat gathered all his nerve, opened the skylight, and dropped down next to his Princess.

“Chat?” She asked, standing and turning to look at him.

He smiled, almost tenderly, and reached out his hands to cup her cheeks. She stilled, and Chat could feel her pulse start to race, the beat in time to his own speeding heart.

He leaned forward, his gazed locked with hers, and pressed his lips gently to hers.

She froze completely, caught by surprise.

Chat, feeling her unresponsive, felt his heart crack just a bit, and pulled away.

Her eyes were wide, staring him down, a million questions fluttering behind her blue irises.

Chat looked down, his heart breaking further, and moved to leave.

Before he could move anywhere, Marinette unfroze, grabbed his bell, and pulled his mouth down to hers again.

It was much more demanding than Chat’s fist kiss, passionate and fierce, and Chat smiled wide against her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. Chat backed her to the wall, locking her in with his palms on either side of her head, lips moving furiously against hers.

After what seemed like both a second and an eternity, wrapped up into one, they broke for breath, and Chat leaned his forehead to hers.

“I love you,” he whispered, looking into her eyes.

“I love you too,” she said, a smile spreading over her mused face.

(p.s. feel free to add on! :))

Ok I got it,,,

For the Spooky Scary Fake AH Crew AU:

Monster types:

Geoff - Vampire

Jack - Slime lady

Ryan - Skeleton

Michael - Demon

Gavin - Zombie

Ray - Ghost

Jeremy - Immortal being

Matt - Demon

Lindsay - Angel

Kdin - Fairy (shes a big fairy, not like tinkerbell or nothin)

Mica - Werewolf

Meg - Siren (evil mermaid)

Caleb - Angel (and also a martyr)

Griffon - Vampire (Millie is also a vampire)

Stuff about each person:

Geoff - Became a vampire sometime in the 80s, tolerates Mica despite the vampire vs werewolf thing, tries his best to keep Griffon and Millie out of heist stuff, dresses like it’s the 1900s

Jack - Very loving, refuses to miss out on a heist, doesn’t usually go outside do to the bugs and leaves that fly onto her and get stuck

Ryan - Keeps on his skull mask despite the face that he’s a skeleton, wears gloves so his bones are concealed, wears thick jackets 24/7 to look fleshed out

Michael - Has been nicknamed “The Jersey Devil”, met Lindsay when there was a Heaven and Hell “meeting” between God and Satan, Left Hell promising to wreak havoc

Gavin - Was only dead for about a day, grave was dug up and suddenly he became conscious again (still hard to talk though), the first member of the crew he met was Michael

Ray - Killed during an amateur store robbery, Usually doesn’t engage in heists, seen floating around the HQ a lot, if Jack does leave the HQ (maybe to go shopping or something) then he has to go with her

Jeremy - Thinks he’s mortal, is ok with knowing his friend’s will never die, after he wakes up from dying Jack offers him food either made by her or bought straight from the store

Matt - Works behind the scenes, gives different heist plans to the rest of the crew, thinks Jeremy is an ok guy, left Hell around the same time Michael did

Lindsay - After falling in love with a demon she was pronounced a fallen angel and banished from Heaven, wandered the streets for weeks and months and years until she finally came across Michael again, watches over heists and makes sure that they go as planned

Kdin - A charmer, able to get gangs to back off of the crew by either threatening them or by using her cuteness to distract their minds, has very big pink and blue wings

Mica - Most of the time she works like Lindsay and Matt, During full moons she’s used as an extra weapon to fend off cops an harm bystanders

Meg - Stays in water at all times, mysteriously appears in different places (from a stream, to the ocean, to a puddle, to inside of a pool, etc.), Sets up get away boats and jet skis, spies on opposing crews and gangs

Caleb - An angel sent by God to make sure Lindsay had learned her lesson, ended up being the crew’s go to when someone has a broken body part, has no plans to return to Heaven

Griffon - A stay at home mom with her vampire daughter Millicent, knows a lot about Geoff’s crew but refuses to let Millie know about it, chainsaws are her favorite

How they joined the crew:

Geoff - Wanted to one day have a vampire gang to scare people with, ended up having a crew of other monsters, sadly not all vamps

Jack - After emerging from a drain in Geoff’s apartment, she was allowed to stay (so long as she didn’t touch anything)

Ryan - Was recruited because he tried to mug Geoff in an alleyway, the deal was fully sealed once Geoff saw that Ryan’s skin mask covered yet another real skull

Michael - Wandered the streets for days looking for ways to fuck people over, Jack spied him setting tiny fires to leaves while she was in the park, and she invited him over. Geoff agreed that he’d rather have Michael on their side than against them

Gavin - Came knocking on Geoff’s door one night asking for his arm, Geoff was like “oh fucking cool, you can’t die either, awesome!” and therefore Gavin became target practice

Ray - Just showed up one day in Geoff’s bathroom, Geoff let him stay b/c he wasn’t doing any harm

Jeremy - The whole crew decided that he was just great at faking his death, so they let him join

Matt - Sneaked out of Hell to join Michael on Earth, when he found Michael, he was offered a place in the crew, but not wanting to bring too much atention to himself, he stayed behind the scenes

Lindsay - After being forced out of Heaven she looked restlessly for Michael, and one day, while telling Caleb that she just couldn’t go back to Heaven, she spotted him and told him she’d do anything to be with him

Kdin - Gavin noticed something shiny zoom past the windows of Geoff’s house, and when he looked out he saw a beautiful fairy, awestruck, he let her in and Geoff made her a distraction

Mica - A girl Jack saw in the park, she thought something was off about her, and so she contronted her and flat out asked if she was  a supernatural being. When Mica said yes, Jack introduced her to Geoff, at first they got along, but Geoff was honestly continuously planning to kick her out, that is until she seriously went IN during a heist

Meg - Gavin was walking along in the rain, confused and trying to find his way back to Geoff’s house, when a very pretty lady appeared in a large puddle and told him exactly where to go. Once Gavin arrived back at the HQ, he told Geoff all about Meg and she unknowingly became a member of the crew

Caleb - Couldn’t just leave Lindsay alone on Earth, and it’s in his nature to take care of people, so Caleb stayed put and once again unknowingly joined the crew

(don’t reblog, thanks!)

It’s so strange to see all these Twister quotes going around after Bill Paxton’s death, because… look, it was not a good movie, but it came out when I was eight years old, and I remember it was the first PG-13 movie I was allowed to watch all the way through without a parent leaning on the fast-forward button at the bad parts. 

And there was that flashback scene with the little girl who grew up to be Helen Hunt’s stormchasing scientist character, and I thought, oh, because I was born a few months after a very, very large and deadly tornado that narrowly missed my parents, and so I always grew up with that shadow over my head, sketching clouds and standing out in the rain to squint at the sky and very seriously carrying my hamster cage down to the basement when the warnings went out. I mean, heck, as an extremely little kid, I memorized the free phone number for the weather office to get live reports and warnings before the internet was commonly available. I still have that number burned into my brain, I called it so often.

So the movie stuck in my head, and when I was sixteen a family road trip took us down through Colorado, where my mother (aware that I was mulling over what to do for college) very cannily suggested that we stop to check out the National Center for Atmospheric Research, and I realized, wait a minute, this was a real job that real people had. When I turned 17, I started college with the express goal of studying tornadoes. Whenever I got discouraged by the absolute mountains of physics and math, with the library access I had as a student, in my spare time I went through all the (mostly handwritten!) records the library could scrounge up of that tornado I’d been hearing about all my life. Buried in some box after a couple of moves, I still have little notebooks full of painstakingly copied and frankly horrific eyewitness accounts.

When I was 22, I decided to lead a stormchasing trip down to the States. As a lead-up to that, we ran a little lecture series for the attendees that consisted of bringing in the university’s experts to give safety discussions and whatnot (I’m still not entirely sure what kind of fast-talking I did to secure funding and the trust of the seven people who followed me into the great plains of the US during tornado season…), and as a treat, we decided to pull everyone into the classroom one evening to watch that goofy 90s disaster movie, Twister. And it was horrible! The science was appalling. But we all watched it in rapt fascination, start to finish, and every single person in that room mentioned that the movie was part of the origin of their interest in tornadoes.

And now… hey. I study tornadoes at a very high level. I regularly collaborate with the people on whom Twister was modeled. I’m pursuing a job prospect right now that would take me down to Oklahoma for a year to continue that work.

So, you know. I honestly know nothing about him at all, but I’m finding myself really unexpectedly very sad about Bill Paxton, in large part because he was such an important part of this goofy movie that meant a whole lot to me and sort of accidentally shifted the course of my entire life. 


War of the Magizoologists (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Prompt: Imagine Newt and you are both magizoologists and are both extremely competitive about their schools. You take Newt to Ilvermorny to try and prove that it’s the best school there. Ha, what could go wrong… seriously.  

Word Count: 3, 201 (Omg, it’s so long)

A/N: This was a collaboration with @she-who-nailed-it who is basically one of the best writers out there, so seriously check her out because she is honestly the best! I wrote Newt’s script and she wrote the reader’s scrip, and then she wrote the narrative. AND MIGHT I ADD SHE DID AMAZING!




It was a cold day in New York. The kind of day where it was super bleak and boring, and basically ultra-depressing. In fact it was downright hellish, with the biting wind and ice cold rain water, naturally not cool enough to snow. 

Your temper was not great. The weather didn’t improve it. You were feeling peevish and grumpy as you stood at the door, waiting for Newt. You began to tap your foot impatiently and called out, “Newt! Hurry up! I’ll be late! And the teachers can’t be late!”

 A sour expression plastered itself onto your face as you saw Newt pop his head out of his room. He hadn’t even got his coat on. “But I haven’t said goodbye to my creatures yet!” He complained. 

A sour expression plastered itself onto your face as you saw his so called “innocent face”. 

Your sour expression deepened as you snapped back angrily, “Mr. Scamander, are you serious? Just bring one of your creatures with you for show and tell! Now hurry up, please!” 

Newt could sense your displeasure in the situation and gave you a slightly awkward lopsided smile. It was a horribly fake smile, but Newt didn’t care. He turned to grab his coat and then stuffed Pickett into his pocket gently. Newt muttered quietly under his breath, “She’s treating me as though I’m one of her students. Why did the Ministry sign me up for this?” 

You overheard Newt talking to his little friend. “I can hear you, you know,” You expressed dramatically, stomping over to Newt and holding out your hand. “Since Ilvermorny is in Massachusetts we’ll have to Apparate. Kindly take my hand?” 

Newt looked down at your hand. Chances are you had poisoned your hand or something and were trying to kill him. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary Miss (L/N). I am perfectly capable of Apparating myself,” he replied back curtly. You might have been cute, but there was no way he was going to take your hand when you were in one of THOSE kinds of mood. 

You snorted. “Suit yourself, Mr. Scamander but don’t blame me if you get lost.” You then proceeded to Apparate, leaving Newt alone in the house. 

Newt began to hum a little as he pulled out his wand. He chided softly to Pickett, “Oh I’ll show her wrong.” And then he too vanished off to Ilvermorny, ready to prove you wrong, and maybe try to impress you. 


Ilvermorny loomed above Newt as he got his balance back. Ilvermorny was quite different from what he imagined it to be. Possibly smaller than Hogwarts, but not by much. It was definitely newer looking, it was 630 years newer in fact. There were children pouring out of the building and running to different classes, definitely more students than at Hogwarts. 

You began to furiously fight your way through the mass amount of students. “Okay, don’t get lost, don’t torment my students, and fore heaven sakes, don’t talk too much, this is my class,” You instructed out loud, sounding bossier than you meant to sound. 

Newt tripped slightly as he tried to catch up with you. It was like Hogwarts, but not at all at the same time, which threw him off. “Don’t worry, I won’t steal your job. Worrying means you suffer twice,” Newt replied, looking around in amazement at the architect designing. 

The two of you walked down a long hall full of children, their voices bounced off the marble walls, causing so much noise and chaos that it frightened Pickett. Newt had to hold his hand over his pocket to keep Pickett from freaking out too much. 

You took Newt down another hall and into a classroom. Newt admired the room. It was full of elaborate drawings of all kinds of creatures. Even creatures he had never seen before, which was rare. At the bottom of each drawing he saw your initials signed on the parchment paper. 

The teenagers were all milling about when the two of you came into the room. You cleared your throat and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear as you then proceeded to call out, “Class, settle down, please. This is Mr. Newt Scamander and he’s also a magizoologist, but he’s from Hogwarts and he—” 

“Oh, is he your man, professor?” A boy snickered. He had a strong Boston accent and was leaning on his desk casually, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. 

The room filled with soft amused chuckling. Everyone knew you were too pretty to be single, but also too feisty that no man really wanted you. You flushed red, refusing to look at Newt. “Owen, please be quiet,” you instructed, still refusing to glance at the handsome Brit who was awkwardly standing next to you. “As I was saying—” 

“Notice how she didn’t deny it?!” Owens ooo-ed again, his smirk growing bigger as your blush became redder. 

Now completely furious, you walked over to Newt and gave him an accusing glare, as if this were all his fault. You whispered into Newt’s ear, “Don’t just stand there! Introduce yourself, Mr. Scamander!” 

Now Newt had gone red in the face. He coughed a little and then walked closer to the class, his hands deep into his pockets as he said softly, “Er—right. Yes, I’m Newt Scamander and NO we have NO interest in each other. At all. This is strictly a professional visit, for there have been some rumours that your teacher has been, quote from MACUSA: Slacking off and has limited knowledge on magical creatures.” Newt straightened up as he talk, his ego clearly showing as he became more confident with every word. He smirked at you a little. “So I am here now to show you the true beauty of this class!” 

Owen piped up again. “Oh he’s a Brit! Damn, Professor (L/N), I didn’t know you had a thing for accents!” 

Oh yes you did have a thing for accents. But you weren’t going to let this little upstart brat know. Nor were you going to let little Mr. Know Everything about Beasts know either, thank you very much! “Owen, shut up. He’s not, uh, my type,” You glanced at Newt and then frowned, hastily shoving him away from your desk. “As we all know, Mr. Scamander is simply here to see how Ilvermorny is truly better. Now, who knows about bowtruckles? Mr. Scamander, you have the right to remain silent.” You smirked maliciously at Newt. 

Newt huffed and then proceeded to innocently sit behind your desk, despite what you had commanded him not to do. 

A student piped up, “Ummm, they’re like super big right?” 

Another kid threw in, “Yeah. And they can fly!” 

You did a facepalm. And Newt stood up indignantly. “Professor,” Newt began, walking closer to you. “Have you taught these kids nothing? All the students at Hogwarts know everything about bowtruckles. But no worries, that’s why I’m here!” Newt proudly took out Pickett, who looked a little sleepy. He grinned as the class chorused together an awed ohhhhh! Newt then smirked a lopsided grin back at you. 

Once again getting red in the face you closed the gap up between the two of you and tried to shove Newt out of the way. “Okay, Newt, that’s quite enough, I have to teach—” 

“Look! She’s on first term names with Mr. Scamander! I knew something was going on!” A girl cried out, giggling an annoying laugh. 

“MR. SCAMANDER… kindly step aside,” You commanded, literally pushing Newt out of the way. “And let me take over?” You saw some of the students smirk and raise their eyebrows at your audacity to make physical contact with this Brit. Flustered, you cleared your throat again and then again. And then finally mustered out, “Uh… yes… Bowtruckles… ahhh…” Wow. SO intelligent for a professor. 

Owen laughed a rude laugh and sneered, “No wonder MACUSA sent Mr. Scamander! Maybe he’ll replace Professor Slacker!” 

You gave a slightly spacey dejected look, realizing that Newt was clearly the favorite here. Newt noticed your slightly jealous facial expressions and coughed a little bit. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not searching for a new job, much less want to take one from someone who has much, much more to learn…” Newt commented, giving a little small dramatic sigh and smirking at you. “HOWEVER, I am delighted to help in any way that I can for now. Bowtruckles are small creatures that are immensely difficult to spot, usually hiding in their tree in parts of England, Germany and Scandinavia.” 

Newt gently set the shy Pickett down and a small cluster of students formed around the creature. Pickett soon got used to the ooos and ahhhs and began strutting around a little, soaking up the attention. “Ohhh! He’s so cute! May I touch him? Does he have a name?” A female student asked, obviously eager to touch or pet the creature, as most teenage girls are. 

Newt beamed, pleased with how well things were going. “Of course you can! And his name is Pickett, for you see, these magnificent beasts are able to unlock locks. However, when threatened they will unhesitatingly gouge your eyes out.” Newt gave a slight chuckle. And the students backed away. And one of the students gave a scream. Newt then looked at you expectantly. “Miss Y/N, would you like to hold him?” 

You glared at Newt. “Kindly don’t scare my students!” You hissed at Newt. But you none the less picked up the Bowtruckle with careful hands. Giving a slight nervous giggle, you tried to calm down the students. “See? There’s nothing to be afraid of. Okay, Mr. Scamander you can have him back now!” You hastily gave Pickett back to Newt. “Okay, now class, Mr. Scamander and I will be—” 

“Demonstrating how to french kiss?” Owens perked up, giving an innocent look at his teacher. 

“Owen, you have approximately 1 second to shut up, or I’ll send an owl to your parents. Please respect your teacher and Mr. Scamander who is only here because he can’t go back to Hogwarts,” You said passive aggressively, glancing in Newt’s direction. 

Newt replied airily back, “Oh, I wish I was at Hogwarts right now. A much better school than this horrid place.” He returned the smirk back to you. 

Owen, who was now thoroughly enjoying this secret war, said boisterously, “Enough about that, demonstrate the snogging already!” 

You were completely at a loss for words, luckily for you the school bell rang and students began to scurry around and pack up. You blew out a breath of air, wishing you were dead right about now. 

“Yeah no, not today, buddy. Scurry along now, or I’ll have the Swooping Evil come after your brains tonight!” Newt teased, wiggling his eyebrows and jostling Owen playfully. 

Owen just gave Newt a weird look. “What the heck is a Swooping Evil?” Newt turned slowly to you. You bit your lip and refused to make eye contact. “Have you not taught these pupils anything? That’s preposterous,” Newt insisted, giving you a stern look. 

You hastily shoved Owen away, who still looked confused. “Okay, that’s enough for today! I’ll see you tomorrow, Owen, make sure you send me that report why Ilvermorny is the best school!” You gave a high pitched chuckle hoping that Newt wasn’t about to kill you with his judgmental stare. 

“Will do, teacher. Just remember to write a report on why you like that Brit’s hair!” Owen laughed, he gave a sly look at you and Newt, like he was trying to decide how your children would look. 

“Owen, I swear to God, if you don’t leave right now, I will…” You breathed deeply and let the air out. “Tell your parents.” You couldn’t really threaten the student with murder, that would kinda be like… bad. A lot bad. 

Owen raised his hands in surrender. “Alright alright,” Owen chided softly, backing up slowly. “See you later, Mr. and Mrs. Scamander!” And then he proceeded to run like a madman away from the two flustered grownups. 

You were now red and incredibly indignant. “I could punch that boy!” You growled, your voice strained with anger. 

“You really shouldn’t go around threatening students, no matter how obnoxious they may be,” Newt paused, realizing that he was being incredibly hypocritical since he did just threaten to send a swooping evil after Owen. “In a way, I’d say it’s your fault you haven’t earned their respect. That’s what the professors at Ilvermorny clearly lack.” 

Your shoulders slumped a little. Newt was right. You weren’t cut out for this job. You weren’t sure if anyone was cut out for this job. A small thought came to you. You walked up to Newt giving him a slight amused looked. “Well,” You started slowly. “Even if I don’t have classroom respect, it would seem I have your respect, otherwise you wouldn’t want to be around me, am I right, Mr. Scamander…?” You gave him a slight smirk and winked at him before turning around and tightening up a bit. 

Newt stammered back, “Well maybe you have earned my respect. I do find it remarkable how you can deal with these children every day. Now I’m just finding a way to earn your respect, you’re like a new creature to me, Miss (L/N).” Newt realized what he just said, blushed scarlet, and then did a facepalm. “Er, not that I need to earn your respect or anything…?” 

You gave a small smile. “Well. Uh, um,” wow. So intelligent. “Now that I think about it, I guess I look up to you so much that I want to prove myself to you…” You fiddled nervously with a notebook. Did you make any sense at all? Or were you just spewing weirdo’s crap? 

“Is that the reason why that notebook is covered with my name?” Newt pointed to the notebook in your hand, which had hearts and Newt’s full name on it. Newt didn’t find it creepy, surprisingly, mildly charming actually. “There is really no need for you to prove yourself, Y/N. I can already see that you are a striving Magizoologist and I shouldn’t be trying to knock your spirits down, although Owen has probably already done that countless times.” 

You looked down at your notebook and blushed, hastily shoving it behind your back. “Oh my gosh, Mr. Scamander!” You squawked. You hastily cleared your voice and coughed a little, trying to preserve what little pride you had left. “You haven’t been knocking out my spirit. You make it fly, and to be honest,” You then closed the gap between you and Newt. “I rather enjoy the witty banter.” 

Newt’s breathing quickened. “As do I. Uh, please call me Newt,” Newt breathed gently. Feeling confident, he lightly brushed a loose strand of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. 

Likewise feeling bold, you stood on tippy toes and gently kissed Newt on the cheek. Realzing what you just did, you backed up, “Uh… oh, sorry! I hope that was alright! I wasn’t thinking!” You began to freak out even more, waiting for Newt to walk away or get angry. 

Newt just blinked and turned bright red. “A rebellious side I see? That was rather unprofessional, Y/N, now wasn’t it? But…” Newt slowly said. “I like how you don’t mind breaking the rules.” Those words made your heard give a little jump. The next second was a blur, as Newt gently pushed your back up against a desk, cupping your cheeks and swooping down to kiss your mouth. 

You gave a little whimper of surprised but happily kissed him back, enjoying the warmth of the kiss and the body heat. Right as it was growing rather intense, someone had to ruin it all, naturally. “Teacher, I forgot…” 

Boy, did you push Newt away. You thought Newt was going to fall backwards and land on his behind. A complete guilty look plastered across your face, as you hastily tried to wipe away the evidence. Oh great. You could see it in the headlines of the school paper. Magizoologist (L/N) hits it off with British Magizoologist, Newt Scamander. 

“I KNEW IT. OHHHH K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Owen sang high, giving you a triumphant look. 

You were about to go full berserk on him and kill the kiddo, but instead you got a new idea of how to get rid of him. Hopefully much more amusing. Feeling bold, you said, “You’re welcome to watch us, but just so you know, us adults are FAR more capable than just high school kissing…” You snaked your arm around Newt’s neck and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down a bit. 

Owen blushed a little. “Uh…” 

Newt blushed likewise, giving you a slightly frightened look. You hoped that he would play along to get rid of the brat, but naturally his innocent mind couldn’t process what exactly you were trying to get at. “Well that progressed quickly,” Newt whispered very quietly. 

Owen gave another smirk. “Umm, yeah, let me get my camera!” Owen hastily darted off, giggling madly. 

Newt’s eyes grew large. “That’s it you little bugger! Stay here, I’m obvliviating him and don’t go on about school rules, I don’t care!” Newt said, running after Owen. 

You realized your plan had failed. Majorly. You then took off, running after Newt. “MR. SCAMANDER. I. CANNOT. LET. YOU. DO. THAT!” Once you caught up to Newt, you did the only sensible thing in your mind. Tackled him to the ground. Giving a loud shriek, and flailing all over the place, you fell on top of Newt. 

You were too late. Owen had brandished a camera and sapped a couple pictures of the tangled love-birds. Laughing, Owen said giddily, “This will surely be on the front page of the school’s newspaper! Thanks, teacher!” He skipped off happily, singing to himself. 

You let out a loud groan, rubbing your eyes. So. Freaking. Screwed. 

Newt gave you a slightly helpless but amused look, sitting up and gently planting a kiss on your nose. “Maybe I shouldn’t have acted so recklessly. (Y/N), I know that I might’ve caused a little bit of trouble—” 

You gave a sharp snort and rolled your eyes. “Sure just a little,” you sulked sarcastically, crossing your arms and looking away, pretending to admire the quiet corridor. 

Newt gently played with your hair. “But despite everything, I enjoyed my time here. I hope you wouldn’t mind if I stayed a little longer?” 

You blinked, looking at Newt. Newt wanted to stay in New York? With you? Even if it was for a short amount of time, heck, you’d take it. You slowly grinned. “Yeah, I’d love that!” 

“Also, what happened back there…did it mean anything?” Newt asked curiously, as he shifted around under you, trying to find a more comfortable position without causing you to move. 

You gave a smirk. Well played. “I dunno, you tell me…?” 

Newt pushed his lips onto yours, his arms snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Was that the answer you wanted?” Newt asked you in amusement, studying your speechless face with adoration. “Now…where were we before we were so rudely interrupted…?” 



I hope you liked this! It was super fun to write! If you like this collab, let me or @she-who-nailed-it , that way maybe we can collaborate again!

the boy with two souls.

Read on the Archive: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10153655

When you cram two minds and Auras together, memories tend to bleed into one entity. When one mind is technically dead, murdered by a Maiden, things can get a little tense. Ozpin’s memories terrify Oscar. Oscar’s mind confines Ozpin.

Together, they run into more than one kind of trouble on their trek to Haven Academy. 

Dedicated to @tigerstripedmoon

Oscar hops off the empty train and promptly lands in a puddle.

He looks down in disgust, now soaked to the ankle, mud sloshing around his rubber boots. The train screeches before whirring to a start and streaking off, sending more rain splashing out, and with a yelp, he hops away from the tracks, shivering. He is used to mud— farming, unfortunately, is full of it— but he’s never liked getting dirty.

“It’s freezing out here,” he mutters, sloshing away from the tracks and looking around. “And there’s not a building in sight— Ozpin, am I in the right place?”


“Helpful,” he grumbles, storming off. At least it’s not raining, but if the dark, threatening clouds rolling in from the east are anything to go by, it will be soon. “So where do I go now?”

Continue walking onward. You should be hitting a river shortly. You should cross over the river and through the woods that bank the western side. I believe they’re abandoned.  

“Seriously?” Oscar says. “Over the river and through the woods?”

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[20170416] B.A.P PARTYBABY in LA Fanaccount

Note: You all are probably tired of me saying this, but I am going to say it again ^^ Everything is written by memory, so everything is probably not exact and accurate. And I am so inconsistent with Junhong’s name, so forgive me if I keep saying Junhong then switching back to Zelo.

Also, If you don’t want to read all of the BS and wait I had to go through, you can just skip to the Songlist Section. And if you were tagged and don’t want to read this LONG post, just click ctrl+F and find your name to see where I tagged you, so you don’t have to waste your time ^^

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How it all began part 3

So, here he was in his slippers and gown, fresh out of the shower and as always eager to help, me in my not sexy at all pyjamas. I really didn’t have time to change into anything a little more flattering but i had to make the most of the situation.

Whilst i showed him where the bird was i was busy formulating a battle plan in my head and it was all a bit frantic until we got to the bird…..it was obviously seriously injured so he wasted no time at all despatching it at which point it was my turn to breakdown……and that wasnt in the plan. It then started raining so he said he would take the bird home and bury it at the bottom of his garden in the morning.

Once he had finished with the bird he turned his attention to me and obviously seeing me distressed it was his turn to comfort me. He held me in his arms for what seemed an age and at the time the last thing on my mind was sex. After a few minutes of kind words and him rubbing and patting me to console me i pulled myself together and asked if he would like a drink. We made our way into the kitchen and i put the kettle on, he asked if he could wash his hands so i suggested he go upstairs and jump in the shower if he wanted as he was drenched due to the time we spent in the rain and obviously wanted to clean up after handling the bloody bird. I said i would sort the drinks out and with that he went up and showered.

After five mins or so i shouted up and asked how he was getting on as i felt i needed a shower to warm myself up, no reply, so i took the two cups of coffee up and got to the bathroom door which was open and quietly peered in only to see him in the shower, covered in body wash, rubbing his hands up and down his legs and torso. He hadnt noticed me as he had his back to the door so i coughed to get his attention……when he turned around to face me he certainly got my attention…his cock was rigid and standing proud but he quickly tried to cover up. I put the cups down and opened the shower door and asked him if he needed any help to which he pulled me into the cubicle without a word…..just a smile….i was still in my unflattering pyjamas which very quickly became soaked so he lifted the top off over my head as i kicked the trousers down my legs…..as i finished taking my trousers off i bent down to chuck them out of the way and came face to tip with his rigid cock, taking him into my mouth i sucked the head and swirled my tongue around under his foreskin and probed his japseye tasting precum before taking his whole length down my throat….he was loving it judging by the way he was shaking….his legs like jelly…he was kneeding my boobs with one hand with the other hand on the back of my head making sure that i wasnt going to stop, little did he know then that i had no intention of stopping, i wanted his load down my throat….after maybe 5 minutes i could feel his cock getting longer, harder, the way my hubbies gets when he is about to shoot his load, so i started playing with his balls and sucked harder and licked more until what seemed like a pint of cum hit the back of my throat, i took the lot, savouring every last drop….once i had drained his balls i stood up, and still without a word we kissed, cuddled and held each other whilst the shower did its job and his cock returned to normal. I asked him if he now wanted his coffee to which he said yes…..we got out and i led him to our bedroom where we both dried each other before sitting on the bed to drink our coffees. Never after us leaving the shower did he mention what had just happened so to break the ice I asked him how long it had been since he had had sex of any kind as there was so much cum to which he replied two years…..and that was before the passing of his beloved wife. I asked him how he felt, had he enjoyed it, would he like me to suck him again…he said he felt a bit awkward, there was the fact i was married, he was 20 years older than me, he was a friend of the family and my hubby was away on his first tour of iraq during the first gulf war. To which i replied that all of the reasons he gave for not doing it were the reasons i wanted to do it, he looked very confused so i suggested we both dress and go downstairs as we needed to talk.

We sat in the dining room at the table, I asked him if he wanted a proper drink to which he said yes, i poured him a malt whisky which hubby keeps for special occasions and i poured myself a white wine. I started off by telling him how lonely i would get whilst hubby was away and that i needed the company of a man. I told him that i didnt want to go to pubs and clubs etc or hook up with any of the guys from camp…that would of been easy but not what we wanted. I let slip that hubby had first suggested him as my lover to be as he had known him for years, he respected him, he knew i would be in safe hands with him, he was discrete and an all round nice guy….a gentleman in fact. I said i found him very attractive both sexually and mentally and he was a very handsome guy for his age, which at this point was 44……i was 22. He said he was flattered and he had often thought about me sexually but would not of dreampt of crossing the line with me normally. Without trying to sound desperate i asked him how he would feel about being my lover whilst hubby was away, i told him hubby was fine, i knew also that he had had the snip so there was no chance of me getting pregnant so we could fuck bareback (which i adore) and he could cum anywhere he wished, which was very important to hubby and i as we were both clean and disease free…….he demolished his malt and said that he would love to see me again but would have to speak to my hubby as he thought that i was having him on and hubby was oblivious to what i had planned…..

My sister’s running commentary while playing the new “Legend of Zelda” game is seriously the best :D

The highlights so far:

  • “This game is way too realistic for me.”
  • “Where the hell am I?”
  • “I just wanna pet a dog.”
  • “Now I have to climb that mountain, haven’t I?” -.-
  • “Look at this cute outfit!!”
  • “WTF, my horse just got killed?!! Why did no one tell me that this could happen????” O_______o
  • “NO, dragon, don’t fly away!! Please come back here!!”
  • “Great, now it’s raining – again.”
  • “I’ve got seriously no idea where I am right now.”
The Alpha’s Beta Sister

Requested By Anon

Theo x McCall!Reader

Warnings: sex, smut, fingering, Dom!Theo, teasing, dirty talk

Theo smirked and continued to torment Stiles and Scott, completely oblivious to your existence. You were surprised that neither your brother nor the Chimaera had noticed your increased heartbeat or the smell rolling off you.

“(Y/N)!” Lydia hissed from across the hall. That drew Scott’s attention and he retreated from his verbal battle with Theo.


“Watch it.” He grunted when he barged into you, the light contact and his eyes fixed on you causing your heartbeat you pound even harder and you flushed a deep red.

“Leave my sister alone.” Scott grunted as he tugged you behind him and glared the boy down. “You ok?”

“Yeah… fine.” You hum, gazing after Theo’s retreating figure.

“Why’s she looking at Theo like that… no, no, no (Y/N) you like Derek remember… giant Alpha Derek who’d eat you if you tried to open up which is why it’s cool for you to like him.” Stiles babbled.


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