but seriously this one made me laugh a lot

saltyteengirl  asked:

You're awesome. Seriously, I'm not kidding. You mustn't be human. BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING COULD WRITE SUCH PERFECTION SO FAST, I MEAN... FOR REAL, ALL OF YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL AND ALWAYS MANAGE TO MAKE ME LAUGH OR CRY. YOU'RE PERFECT NAD I LOVE YOU

HOLY SHIT !!! I mean. Oh giddy. I am unfortunately a human being. A very flawed one at that. And thank you SO MUCH for this message, you totally made my day and I’m like : what what WHAAAT ?! (translation : very surprised anyone would think this of me). Thanks a lot for taking the time to send this to me. 

My only question is : have I ever made you laugh AND cry at the same time ? If not, it shall be my goal to write a fic that does just that :D.

We Are Young: Chapter 1

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 

——————–

“Coach is going to kill you.”

Aelin had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced over at Nehemia, but the dark skinned beauty was too busy backing into a parking spot of the school parking lot to pay her any attention.

Uncle Orlon,” The car came to a stop and Aelin sent Nehemia another pointed look - “Isn’t going to kill me for added a little extra sugar in my coffee.” A pause. “Uncle Weylan might though.”

“There are several things wrong with your statement,” Lysandra spoke up from the back of the car. She leant forward to look at herself in the rearview mirror, fixing her hair as she spoke. “One, you got a gingerbread latte and added three extra packets of sugar. I wouldn’t call that ‘a little’. And two,” Lysandra turned, sending Aelin a deadly smile. “Coach Weylan will definitely kill you when he finds out.”

If he finds out.” Aelin smirked, taking a big sip of her over sugared drink.

Keep reading

consequences.

Originally posted by sosjimin

requested by @royalparkjimin

oh MY GOD please p.e. teacher!jimin where you don’t take his classes seriously and his dom side starts coming out when you wear yoga pants/booty shorts

genre: smut

a/n: lowkey tho, teacher!bts is kinda hot, only lowkey tho…, also sorry for not proofreading…

I had finally made it to senior year of high school which also meant, I could give less of a shit if I didn’t do well in P.E, it was all fun and games anyway. Although P.E was no fun at all, my teacher, Mr. Park, was one good looking guy but his voice bored me so much, he made the day seem longer and really did drag out his instructions.

“I would rather be doing maths right now.”, Sujin, my best friend whispered to me. “I know, same. This guy keeps going on about the same thing, I don’t even think he’s speaking the same language as us anymore.” “True, true. I think I’m just gonna skip the next class.” “I would but remember that time we skipped last year?”, I laughed. “Fine, but you’re making the choice to do this to yourself.”

I attended the next few classes without Sujin and tried my hardest to make it through each one; however each time I noticed myself drifting off or falling asleep. I just couldn’t take these classes seriously, not when he made the same damn points every time he taught us.


One day, I got called out by Mr. Park for not moving or interacting with the lesson and honestly it was the best thing that happened all year and it was almost the end of the second term. “___, you need to be paying more attention.” “Do I really though? This is just P.E.” “It’s not ‘just’ P.E, it is required by law that you exercise for at least one hour.” “That’s not my business, sir.” “You better start improving your attitude or there will be consequences.” “And what are those?” “You’ll see if you don’t change yourself.” Change myself? Consequences? Was he joking because he was seriously a funny guy for thinking I cared about his lessons.

“Did he seriously say you needed to take his classes more seriously?”, Jungkook, another one of my friends, asked me as I left the art classroom with him. “Yep, and he told me there would be consequences if I didn’t. What a funny guy.”, I joked. “Hey, maybe you should take him seriously. I heard his consequences are quite a lot.” “And where have you heard that?” “I dunno, but my friend who’s finished school already told me that Mr. Park is no joke when it comes to consequences. He made my friend do 300 push ups and like 100 chin ups.” “That’s brutal.”, I laughed. “Yeah, he’s hella strict with his punishments, you best be careful, ___.” “Thanks for the advice but I think I’ll pass.”


3pm and this class was finally over, I was slowly losing myself in school. I shook my body to wake it up some more before making my way to the dance practice room in school, I had my booty shorts on in preparation and my sports bra on underneath my shirt. I had turned ‘Pink Matter’ by Frank Ocean on and had started to choreograph a dance for one. The more I added to the dance the worse it got, something was missing but I couldn’t figure out what. Giving up I made my way over to my bag and got out my water bottle when the door opened and in walked Mr. Park.

“I told you to take the classes more seriously or else there would be consequences.”, he angrily told me as he moved to the stereo to shut off the music. “Did I not look convincing enough? I thought I was pretending to care quite well.”, I jokingly told him as I placed down the water bottle and turned the radio on with my remote. “Don’t mess around, this isn’t elementary school, you need to do P.E.” “Cool, now, I’m kinda tryna choreograph a piece, so umm, sir, you can leave now.”

“I’m not going anywhere, remember, consequences.” “Oh, can’t you wait for another day? I’m busy today.”, I seriously asked him with my arms crossed. “No, you need to receive your punishment.” “What are you gonna make me do? 300 push ups? 100 chin ups? Tell me so I can get back to this.” “No, I have a special punishment for you.” “What would that be?”, I chuckled as I closed the distance with hopes to intimidate him. “Those damn booty shorts, do you know what you do to me?”, he said as he aggressively grabbed my ass, taking me by surprise. “You wanna play at that game?”, I smirked back as I palmed his member through his sweatpants.

“This is supposed to be a punishment ___, don’t mess around.”, he growled. “And how is this gonna work?”, I asked before he pushed his lips onto mine and asserted his dominance. “Is that all you have, sir?”, I asked as I pulled away from his kiss. “It’s Jimin, just call me Jimin.”, he moaned as I put my hand down his sweatpants and started stroking his cock. “What are you gonna do Jimin?” “Don’t mess around and suck me off now.” Immediately I got down on my knees and pulled down his sweatpants and boxers, revealing his thick cock. “Hurry up.” “Now, now, patience.”, I teased before I played with the tip of his cock with my tongue, I swirled it around and slowly wrapped my lips around his cock.

“You’re too slow.”, he groaned as he grabbed my hair and pushed me down his cock, making it hit the back of my throat. He bobbed my head up and down his cock and finally released me after I did it myself. Every now and then I would hold my head down and deep throat his cock before gasping for air. “You look so fucking hot”, he growled. After many moments of bobbing up and down his cock and teasing his tip, Jimin was begging for release. “Fuck, don’t stop, keep going. I’m so close.” and finally Jimin came into my mouth and partially on my hands that were wrapped around his cock.

“Shit, that was amazing. Best blowjob I’ve ever received.”, he chuckled. “Does this excuse me from giving a shit in P.E?”, I asked after I swallowed his load. “No, but after I eat you out you’re good to go but you ain’t gonna get out of our after school activities.”, he smirked before he reconnected his lips with mine.

The Office

2 teams of 6 good looking men, 1 intern, 1 receptionist and an overwhelming amount of tension and flirting.

Part Two - The Hazing

Genre: CRACK | Fluff | Angst
Members:  OT7
Word count: 2,503

A/N: Honestly I’m not a big fan of this chapter but some tidbits of info in this one are essential for later on. Let’s just call it that one episode that almost cancelled the show… cool? cool. - Amelia

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Originally posted by jamless-vibes

“Kim Taehyung!” I yelled. “Are you kidding me?!”

“What now!?” Hoseok groaned. I probably killed his ears these last two days with all the shouting. The other boys looked up from their desks to see Jungkook’s computer mouse glued to my palm.

Jungkook slipped away from Jimin’s desk and rushed to my side, frantically asking if I’d be alright. The rest of the boys were murmuring amongst themselves then I could hear one of the chairs scraping back on the linoleum.

“Taehyung, you idiot.” Yoongi’s eyes darkened, like some kind of beast had awoken inside him.

“Hyung, don’t hit him again!” Jimin intervened, walking over and standing between the two boys desks.

“This is a big offence Jimin. Let me teach him another lesson?”

“How about we let Y/n decide how to deal with this situation?” Namjoon suggested, and then they all looked over to me.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i hope this is okay but Mccree with a s/o who feels really insecure about how they look? thank you x

Of course its okay! Honestly, Mcree is probably one of my favorite people to write for. I just hope this what you were looking for

Jesse Mccree

  • Thinks your incredibly beautiful, both on the outside and on the inside. And when he says that he isn’t kidding-he adores your personality
  • When Mccree first asked you out, you didn’t believe him. You thought it was a joke
  • Till Jesse showed up at your door that night, dressed in clean-cut pants and a nice button down shirt. He grinned and held out a bouqet of your favorite flowers. You kind of thought it was a dream
  • But like any dream you decided to play along and got ready. You got dressed up and he escorted you to a nice, low key restaurant not too far away
  • The dinner was nice but all throughout Jesse noticed you fidgeting, fixing your hair occasionally and glancing around nervously. At one point he took your hand and lifted it to his lips, giving you a rakish smile as he once again claimed how lovely you looked
  • This caused all that anxiety and your insecurities resting below the surface to bubble forth and you stood fast, letting out a deep breath of air. “How can you lie to me like this? Is this a joke? I’ve never been beautiful in my entire life! I’ve never done anything worth any ones attention and the fact that you can sit here and pretend I’m worth anything-“
  • Before you could react, Jesse had stepped around the table and you found a strong pair of arms pulling you close. It was like a warm blanket had fallen over you, and ignoring anyone in the restaurant looking at you, he brushed a hand through your hair
  • “This isn’t a joke to me, darlin’,” he breathed in your ear. “God forbid I joke about you. Do you know what i see? I see a strong woman who’s funny, with the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, and who has the laugh of an angel. Maybe you don’t think so, but you’re worth a whole lot to me, sweetheart.”
  • You couldn’t help lifting your head to stare at him, only to find warm eyes staring back at you so seriously. It was impossible to really believe all that and yet..no one had ever said anything like that to you before. For a second it made all those worries disappear.
  • After that date, Jesse spent every day trying to show you how he really felt, to help take away those insecurities. Flowers would be left outside your door. He’d take you on walks or to museums-once he took you to a rodeo, where you almost killed him for participating in the bull rides.
  • At the end of that first date, he had promised to tell you one new thing he loved about you every day. And he kept that promise-it was never the same thing. Until finally, months after, he finally smiled at you one night and told you what mattered to you the most…that he loved you, with all his heart

anonymous asked:

what is your opinion on mineta?

A pretty neutral one? I don’t like him, but I don’t actively dislike him either since his type of character is just something I’m assuming Jump editors outright ask for considering they’re in every single shounen ever - mostly I just forget he exists tbh, which is rude but he’s really rude too so that’s fine lol he has his moments and I’m very lowkey hoping he’ll be developed and grow out of the walking trope he is (it’s just wishful thinking, probably)(I appreciate that Horikoshi writes his behaviour as something as disgusting as it is, tho, kudos to you Horikoshi) but as things stand right now I mostly roll my eyes at him and forget he’s a thing the moment he walks off screen haha

Anon said: I. LOVE. SHINSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said: What did you think of the little todoiideku moments in the last chapter? :)

I CRIED literally, actual tears, I’m not making it up I love all three of them so much - Iida’s the most precious boy ever and Todoroki is wise and beautiful and them all offering food to Izuku to make him feel better was PURE 

but also waddup with Izuku suddenly saying he shouldn’t cry, he’s been crying since the beginning of the manga? It’s okay Izuku let it out

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Any good Shawn blogs?

i’m probably going to forget some, it’s not above me, but here are some that i’ve been appreciating recently:

@illumeshawn: honestly one of my favorite people on here; she’s an amazing writer and friend and we’re a very dangerous combination i’m not sure who allowed us to be friends

@ftsgerald: lu is absolutely incredible when it comes to imagines as well, plus she’s hilarious & full of life. she needs to be protected at all costs

@ihaveabadreputation: my main homie allison who i’m going to get married to because we’re meant for one another. she’s phenomenal and any time you can bother her about TiC, do it ;)

@whitechocolateperfection emk is G R E A T and seriously has when Shawn says “no obviously not” to that one girl at the airport as her text tone. and she always has me laughing and following her 11/10 people recommend

@starrynightshawn: my beautiful love m, she’s so kind and beautiful and just the greatest person to talk to

@shit-to-kinda-okay: george is great and made that stupid fucking honey video that i watch on a daily basis and cry about

@thugshawn: who is a great editor / gif maker and should be appreciated a lot more for her work bc making gifs & edits is hella hard

@wordsformendes: who is absolutely beautiful & kind and i love her writing as well

@babyshawwn: you probably follow her already. if you don’t, what is you doing. she’s amazing. #wifey

@ruinrose: beautiful human being, beautiful blog, loads of love to her !!

@ruinriff: the real mvp, copped me tnhmb when i was unable to get it & sent it to me, she’s really sweet and will do anything for you which is fantastic

@latteshawn: she’s great and funny and just a ball of sunshine that loves Shawn and so many other people. give her love.

@shawnrmendes: HER GIFS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’M STANDING IN A ROOM WITH SHAWN AND SHE’S SO QUICK ABOUT IT TO LIKE A 1D FANDOM PACE GO YOU HONEY I LOVE YOU

@thesmutofthemendes: i keep mentioning m in these and she’s probably sick and tired of me but she’s sweet & will get you all up in your feels

@permanentguitar: has been killing me with her bullet lists recently like damn ma slow down. 

but anyway, i love these people and there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but everyone i follow you can see on my mobile layout or on my blogroll :) 

Happy Birthday Aelin!!

I didn’t even realize today was Aelins birthday! So to celebrate, I’ve decided to give you all a sneak peek of the first chapter of We Are Young - coming on the 14th. Enjoy :)

——————–

“Coach is going to kill you.”

Aelin had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced over at Nehemia, but the dark skinned beauty was too busy backing into a parking spot of the school parking lot to pay her any attention.

“Uncle Orlon,” The car came to a stop and Aelin sent Nehemia another pointed look - “Isn’t going to kill me for adding a little extra sugar in my coffee.” Aelin paused for a moment. “Uncle Weylan might though.”

“There are several things wrong with your statement,” Lysandra spoke up from the back of the car. She leaned forward to look at herself in the rearview mirror, fixing her hair as she spoke. “One, you got a gingerbread latte and added three extra packets of sugar. I wouldn’t call that ‘a little’. And two,” Lysandra turned, sending Aelin a deadly smile. “Coach Weylan will definitely kill you when he finds out.”

“If he finds out.” Aelin smirked, taking a big sip of her over sugared drink.

Nehemia couldn’t help but snort as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Of course he’s going to find out. Coach Weylan finds out everything.”

Lysandra nodded in agreement. “I hope you’re ready for all those on-ice push-ups.”

“Oh, will you two shut up?” This time, Aelin did roll her eyes. “You’re being overdramatic.”

“You’re not seriously calling us overdramatic right now.” Lysandra let out a barking laugh. “Have you met yourself?”

“We are talking about the same Uncle and coach, right? The one Aedion calls a ‘cold, hard bastard?’ The one who made you do twenty minutes of stroking around the rink because you ate a chocolate bar before practice?” Nehemia raised an eyebrow.

“Okay fine,” Aelin pushed opened the car door. She stepped out into the crowded parking lot with Nehemia following her lead. “Uncle Weylan is going to kill me when he finds out. But at least I’ll die with my stomach happy and full of sugary goodness.”

anonymous asked:

ana i'm leaving the bellarke fam because i don't feel included even tho i tried. thanks for being the one who made me laugh and smile during these months! keep doing that, you're amazing

I mean ultimately its up to you but I don’t think you should leave. Look I have been fandom blogging for a long long time, seriously this is getting fucking old and someone needs to delete my blog. I’ve been in a lot of fandoms, THG, TMI and TID, John Green back when he was a thing, TW, OUAT.. And I don’t think I made a single friend during all those years, so I completely understand how it feels being on the outside looking in. But I’m telling you this because of all the many fandoms I tried very hard to be a part of, the bellarke fam is by far full of the most inclusive people I’ve ever met and it really is not hard to be a part of it. There are people I follow and consider friends now literally just because they started tagging me in their selfies every week so I follow them back and now I have a name and face to the url. Those are the kind of people I follow.  But you have to actually get in there, actually message people, find your thing whether it be fics or fanart or shitposting, be original and be yourself and then people will start to see your posts and be like “oh yeah there’s tht one girl, I know her, do ur thang lucy”

Listen okay, I’d been in the bellarke fam for a few months already. I’d been making lots and lots of textposts that would get lots of notes and ultimately I still couldn’t actually make friends. Because how many times can one of us write a meta about bellarke dynamic and how le/xa sux and blah blah blah. Like no offence but I see metas these days and I’m like OKAY YES I KNOW I GET IT OKAY

  YAL WANNA KNOW HOW I ENDED UP MAKING FRIENDS IN THE BELLARKE FAM. THIS IS WHAT SPARKED IT. 

wish i was joking.

anyway you can go, this ass does not beg anyone to stay, but you will not find a more inclusive and funny and friendly and kind group of people (i mean there are some shitheads but u can soft block they asses) anywhere on tumblr. being a part of this fam has saved my life n i’m forever grateful 

random ik but...

okay so,,, i was just thinking,,, i love my mutuals so much… so why not let them know randomly in an act of an appreciation post ?? im sorry this is so spontaneous i just feel like shouting out to all my best internet buddies so everyone else can check them out bc theyre literally ALL THE BEST. just saying. FOLLOW THEM NOW !!! (pls you wont regret it i promise) in no order:

@smol-anime-phan133 : ty for being with me through life, you’re literally my therapist and i need you to know that any time you need it, i’ll be there for you bc you’ve always been there for me (even during my 12 yo random phase im v sorry) and I appreciate you💕

@malecfangirl101 man we go wayyyyyy back, but i still appreciate you so much, you’re actually one of the most fabulous people i know. it’s a shame we don’t see each other irl as much but im so glad we text bc seriously it’s great to be able to be so open and yet random and weird to someone as accepting as you ✨

@nutellalester don’t even get me started you are such a bean, daniel !! you contribute some of the best bants to the gc and all the amazing creations (art/writing) you make is literally so good,,,also youve got literally the best music taste ty for existing 💛

@huphilpuffs okay so not only are you literally one of the sweetest people, but you make the prettiest gifs ??? how is this fair at all ??you’ve got so much talent and overall just loveliness and support im super happy to know you ty for everything ☺️

@misshktt oml where do i begin?? youre funny, supportive, open and generally just a really great person to be around !! you literally are toriel it’s not even funny the resemblance is uncanny,,, except less goat and more pure bean ty 💙

@actualhatter there’s so much to say about how great you are i literally could ramble on forever but for everyone’s sake i’ll try to be short: you’re funny, kind, really good at drawing AND you share my addiction to tøp and josh dun in general?? how could a person literally get any cooler?? ty for everything fren 😊

@phantastically-over-life phil lester defence squad unite haha thanks for listening and even agreeing with me when i ramble endlessly about my love and appreciation for phil, you’re really great and friendly, i love talking to you tysm fren💗

@philmeup-dildo i have a feeling this might be the longest paragraph purely bc you are literally one of the best people i know,,, you listen to everything i have to say (im sorry i ramble and complain a lot lol) and overall are just so supportive and kind, as well as we share heaps of interests (okay our music not so much bUT STILL) !! ty for being so open and letting me vent and bant with you bc seriously you have made me laugh when i really needed it so ty for everything 🤗 (also my mum loves you more than me im pretty sure)

@totallynotlevi // @totallynotfics you were one of my first internet friends, Levi, and although some of our interest have changed im so glad we still talk regularly bc you’re literally such a great person and im so happy I’ve found someone who loves pj and tøp as much as me 💚

@you-could-say-im-relocating-it you are the purest and funniest bean to ever exist, our gc owes you for making us laugh all the time with your supportive, funny and relatable personality !! if you ever need anything pls feel free to talk bc id love to get to know you better 😁

@little-cheeky-monkey you deserve the world, honestly im so glad we are mutuals, you’re pretty (even if you don’t realise it yet,, believe me), funny, supportive, really kind and just generally share my love of dogs and hp !!! (pls pet your dogs for me btw so pure) ty for everything and just being yourself you matter a lot ❤️

@heck-yeah-fandoms funny! great! supportive! those are only some of the many words i could use to describe you, ty so much for being a great fren i appreciate talking to you, you make me smile 😋

@pepperminthowell have you ever met someone that’s just so great and the thought of them being in your life fills you with joy??? you’re that person to me and basically the whole gc,,, seriously thank you for everything it means so much you are way too lovely and good for this world 💜

@isle-of-the-glowing-eyes although we talk on my other side blog, i just wanted to add you here bc you are really relatable, kind and im glad i feel i can be open around you bc you’ve just got such a great personality !! not to mention we also have a huge addiction with tøp oml ty for listening to me ramble haha 🌸

@dan-phil-obsessed we’ve been talking for quite a while now, and i can confidently say that you are honestly one of the nicest people to ever exist. everyone is kind in someway or another so you probably hear me say this a lot in this post, im not lying when I say that but for you seriously I can 1000% say that you are so genuinely considerate, not to mention really pretty, and great at photography/writing 💖

@phandomsandbandoms ty for being such a funny, witty, relatable and overall amazing person. your taste of music is one everyone should aspire to, not to mention your personality and sense of humour !! basically you’re goals tbh 👌

@glittering-litter i can relate way too much to you honestly you have all the tøp (yes I went there) notch memes and literally such a good music taste !! ty for always listening to me annoyingly talk about phan and emo bands whenever we talk hah you’re really great 🙌

@lestersdog ty for making the gc and Tumblr itself just a generally better place, you’re so nice and easy to talk to !!! your kindness and awesomeness is appreciated by me and so many others 💓 also your pride selfies were actually the cutest thing ive ever seen oml

@pasteldoothowell we haven’t talked one on one, but seriously from what i can tell when you talk in the gc you are a really fun person to be around !! ty for just your general awesome presence i feel blessed 😄

@peachou okay so we don’t really talk on private chat but seriously this may come off as creepy but i love your blog so so much and for you to actually follow me and like my posts blows me away !! you are so talented and i just wanna ty for being really amazing 💟

@softiednp this whole group chat, incase i missed someone individually, means the world to me tysm for everything you all are great people that i absolutely love talking to !!! you don’t even know how much i love y'all !! oml 😩👌

honourable (mostly) mutual mentions that i stalk and admire from afar: (pls feel free to message me seriously you’re all super cool) @wispyphil @fringegaps @florallylester @phanamored @philester @disgustinglygay @stardustphan @hazyphil @macaronidan @decaffeinated-shipper @yodastolemylightsaber @femtastico @britishteacup98 @lozzyg @lost-boy-ben @nonbinary-lester @suchaderp @sparklephil @adorkablephil @astronautdan @clouds-howell @shittywerewolfstudent @fallinghowell @opinionated-internet @stumpostar @tea-and-cozy-idek @purepastelphan @dansforeheadcurl @japhannie @eli-howlter

if i missed anyone pls punch me, chances are i either wrote you on my list but accidentally missed typing it out bc there’s so many names or literally thought we weren’t mutuals bc you are too cool to be following me :))

Like seven people asked for Beforus pale Gamkar–so here!  

No listen though imagine Karkat is this sort of middle-aged general dude, like 35-40 years old, kind of weathered and jaded and he ends up getting together with this big, gangly highblood who still follows flutterbugs and repeatedly states a life-goal of making every single person he meets laugh and cheers about his birthdays. (”RIGHT, I FORGOT, YOU’RE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT WIGGLING DAYS.”  “yeahhhh brother, don’t figure I won’t ever be so motherfuckin’ old as to not to.” “GOD YOU’RE SUCH A WRIGGLER. <>”)

And then he goes to the party and the goddamn empress is like “CLAMZ—E—E!! Hey crabsnack!  Yeah, we’ve been friends since we were wrigglers!  Happy 200th, sugargrub, mwah!”

Surprise, your boyfriend is literally four or five times older than you. UuU

[[if this link is broken, requests are closed]]

ON POTC 5 "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES" (Spoilers ahead!!!)

First of all, you should now I’ve always been very found of the POTC original trilogy, but On Starnger Tides was a huge disappointment for me and K just thought now they were making more movies to squeeze money out of Jack’s ass with a couple of cheesy cameos with Will and Elizabeth because OST was so wtf without them and who even are you Angelica. I honestly didn’t think that DMTNT would be able to revitalize the franchise with just the perfect amount of nostalgia and novelty it needed to come out of its OST fiasco. Now, let’s get down to business:

1. HECTOR FUCKING BARBOSSA HOW DARE YOU YOU FILTHY PIRATE! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SACRIFICING YOURSELF AN MAKING ALL FANS A CRYING MESS!? WHAT IS THIS KILLING THE SASSIEST CHARACTER THING IN MOVIES, A NEW BRAND? THERE WAS NO NEED TO GO HAN SOLO ON US BARBOSSA WHY WOULD YOU WHYYYYYY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY FEELS!? IF THERE IS A NEXT MOVIE THE GANG BETTER GO ALL AT WORLD’S END AGAIN AND BRING YOUR ONE LEGGED ASS BACK FROM THE DEAD. OR TIA DALMA BETTER SHOW UP TO IMPOSE SOME ORDER IN HER MOTHERFUCKING SEA AND VOODOO THE SHIT OUT IF YOU AGAIN BECAUSE SERIOUSLY DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR DEATH DID!? IT WAS SO TRAUMATIZING EVEN JACK AND JACK MONKEY BONDED OVER IT!
NO, MISTER. YOU MARRIED WILL AND ELIZABETH, NOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS GETTING TOGETHER WITH THEIR SON, THERE IS NO WAY IM GOING TO LET YOU WITNESS ALL THAT FROM RHE WORLD’S END! I DONE CARE IF IT MAKES YOUR SARCIFICE POINTLESS. YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.

2. Jack Monkey’s tiny paw on his chest paying homage to his captain, BROKE ME. Also I noticed that during the homage they played a bit of the “He’s A Pirate” scene from Curse of the Black Pearl. “Pirate’s life, Hector, pirate’s life”.

3. Stupid puns. Men, I laughed like and idiot. THE ONE WITH THE ANKLES xD

4. I DID MY WAITING TEN YEARS OF IT WITH ON STRANGER TIDES IN THE MIDDLE! BUT FINALLY OOOOH FUCK ELIZABETH AND WILL ARE REUNITED AND ONE DAY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW COMPLETE THAT MADE ME FEEL!? PRICELESS!

5. I feel like nobody had payed enough attention at how well Brenton Thwaites was cast as Will and Elizabeth’s son. HE genuinely looks like the offspring of those two xD Seriously, he looks a lot like Orlando and Keira.

6. I thought Carina would just sort of “be there” like Angelica was . I was wrong! She won her spot.

7. OUR BAD GUY WAS A CRUMBLING PILE OF ASH OBSESSED WITH BIRDS . HE HAD PET SHARK ZOMBIES AND VERY POLITE MANNERS. I LOVED HIM. Also, his ship looked like a bug.

All in all, if someone asks me what Dead Men Tell No Tales was for me, the answer is short, simple and chessy:

TREASURE.

Under the Stars

Set at the end of The Freshman Book 4, Chapter 2, MC (Maggie) and Chris spend some time reuniting. Rated M for NSWF scenes.

“That was the best seafood I’ve ever eaten,” Maggie says as she finishes the last bite of her fish taco.

“This is Maine. Of course, it’s the best!” Chris boasts. Maggie rolls her eyes but laughs at her boyfriend. A contagious happiness sparkles in his blue eyes and Maggie feels warmth roll through her. It’s only been a month since their freshman year ended, but Maggie has missed him a lot. She’s missed his easy smile and the way he laughs at her terrible jokes, the tender way he looks at her when he thinks she doesn’t notice. She scoots down the picnic table bench toward him. Chris smiles and wraps an arm around waist, pulling her close.

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That’s got to hurt - final - S.M

part 11 here

I was resting my head in Shawn’s lap on the plane waiting to get to the next destination. He hadn’t told me where we were going and I hadn’t thought to ask. I was making sure I hadn’t hit any of my stitches as I laid there listening to him hum along to one of his songs as he was remembering lyrics for tomorrow. He had one arm wrapped over my stomach holding me there so when the plane would occasionally move I wasn’t thrown from the chair. I lightly started drawing little words onto his hand that was holding me and when I reached his fingers I started twirling the ring he had on this hand around.

“why do you always wear this ring?” I interrupted his humming.

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anonymous asked:

No SQ wouldn't have happened if it was a man. Unless that man were Captain Hook. Because that's who they always wanted Emma to be with.

yeah right

Originally posted by splitminded

but seriously though, dear anon, I want you no harm, just go talk to someone who cares :) I don’t care about CS. but there’s a lot of people who do.

p.s.

me in my post: “and don’t you ever fukcing tell me that swan queen wouldn’t have happened even if one of them was a man.” 

you: *tells me that exact thing*

lol! you remind me of my little sister. always doing what she’s told not to :P

Just For Us

Chapter Eleven 


Liam and I took the train to Reading earlier that Friday evening, with Niall driving over later after his scheduled practice ended to meet up with us at some local pub. The festival was the next day and with Liam already having secured two hotel rooms adjacent to each other, we decided to make a longer trip of it and leave a day early, hitting up this nice little grub and pub. Some good food and equally as good drinks, it was nice getting to finally relax and to also see Liam letting loose a bit. It had been awhile since I had seen him like this, a little bit sloshed and his inhibitions down, and it brought me back to when we had first started dating. The thing was, when I met Liam he had just started uni and was a bit of a party boy, his drinking couldn’t match Niall’s by any means, but he sure did try and keep up to the best of his ability. He was loud and fun and silly, a huge flirt with his big doe eyes and heart stopping smile; he could charm the pants off any girl that he wanted.

I guess you could say that’s how he bagged me. I hadn’t had much experience dating guys by the time I decided to move from Birmingham. I had just turned 20, dropped out of uni and left home to try and follow my dream of opening my own yoga studio and quickly fell right into a relationship with him, not even a few weeks after getting settled in London. He was everything I was looking for, everything that I needed at the time. He was sweet and supportive, caring, thoughtful and an absolute joy to be around. He was unlike any boy that I had known back home and that in itself had attracted me to him right away.

I had felt a connection to him that, at that time, I had yet to feel towards anyone else.

Until Niall.


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anonymous asked:

I just went through your entire blog cackling the whole time. It's perfect. Dazzling. Awe-inspiring. There are so many references to whales. Some of it made my sixty year old father laugh. The ones that didn't made me laugh. Thank you.

oh my goodness; I am smiling so much right now!! this ask means a lot, and i’m so happy this bot has made you and your father laugh. tell your dad that the creator of the bot says coding this thing was worth it just to hear that you guys found it funny!

Rap Daddy (Part 6)

Episode 6: Rap Rap Rap

It was a foggy early morning as Yongguk and the twins arrived to the studio.They were surprised to see they were there first. “Good morning” Yongguk greeted followed by the twins own greeting.

They were stopped from going to the center area by yellow police tape.

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7 on 7.

Married couples had this sort of odd myth that surrounded them that said once you reached a certain stage in your relationship, everything went downhill. The honeymoon stage was long gone and you reached a point where you couldn’t practically stand each other. Romance went out the window. Watching movies on the couch and eating day old pizza became a date night.

That wasn’t the case for Fernando and I.

We acted as if we had just met, like our relationship was fresh and we were just trying out different things to get to know each other. I couldn’t count how many times he’d come home and wake me up from my sleep to drag me off somewhere even if it was to just watch the night sky together.

Tonight’s activity was late night outdoor soccer.

The sun had long ago disappeared and though the time on my watch showed it was nearly 9 p.m., my body was pumping with adrenaline for our little ‘date’ that included some of his teammates and their significant others.

I had been hyping up the night all week once I found out his plan for a 7 on 7 game between the wives and the husbands, largely because I hadn’t stepped into a pair of cleats in years. I liked to think that I was the better footballer between the two of us though I figured we both knew the truth behind that statement. That didn’t alter my confidence though.

“I’m going to beat you so good, Torres,” I remarked as we exited our vehicle.

He only chuckled and threw his cleats over his shoulder to hold onto until he replaced them with the sneakers on his feet. “Are you sure about that? You may not want to talk yourself up so early.”

“I’m confident in my abilities. We never did decide what it is I get once my side wins.” I walked around the car to meet him on his side, leaning against the car as he continued to gather things from the inside.

“What is it that you want? I’m sure you won’t win but I’ll entertain you with a wager.” Fernando stopped digging around in the car for a moment to look to me, flashing a teasing smile that had its own confident air about it without him having to say anything.

“A Ferrari.”

The immediate reaction he had let me know he wasn’t taking my wager seriously. “Yeah. Let’s be a bit more realistic here.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Okay. I want a day of pampering. From you,” I made sure to clarify. “Full body massage, breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared by you. I want you to clean the house…”

“Okay. Wait wait,” he said as he laughed and held out his hands to stop my list of demands. “This is a lot of things just for one win.”

“And you can list off as many things as you want in your part of the wager if you want. I didn’t set a limit for you.”

“I already know what I want though.”

“And what’s that?”

“Sex,” he spoke nonchalantly before returning to gathering his things. “Sex? We have sex all the time.”

“Let’s not go into the dirty details of it,” Fernando replied as he shut the door to our car and walked closer to me. “Just know that’s what I want and I want you wearing a particular thing.” He pecked my lips quickly before walking away, instantly making me follow close behind to the nearly empty park and the empty pitch that awaited us. Hopefully our friends were already here or at least a majority were.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Torres.”

The first person spotted was Antoine, his voice easily heard as well as I was sure he was trash talking his girlfriend as I had been doing with my husband earlier. I greeted her along with the other ladies, offering words of encouragement that pretty much revolved around stomping our significant others into the ground so that we could hold the bragging rights on a win. The thought of having to listen to them gloat was enough to want me to complete a hat trick tonight.

“So are we ready or what?”

It didn’t take long for everyone to finish sliding into their shoes or change of clothes and we moved towards the pitch. Fernando walked alongside me, playfully knocking my hip with his until I glared in his direction. “You nervous yet? You’re going to have to defend me for 90 minutes.”

“90 minutes?! I thought we were doing 50? 25 minute halves?”

“Oh no, love. Way too easy,” he winked before jogging off to the center. I simply rolled my eyes and followed.

Let’s hope I had enough stamina for this.

The girls and I had already decided on positions and even team name as we flooded our group chat throughout this week with motivation for each other and tactics I wasn’t even sure we were really working to remember so much as we were trying to impress ourselves and seem prepared.

I jogged up near where Fernando stood. He flashed a heart symbol in my direction as a peace offering. I responded playfully by flipping him off which only caused him to laugh.

We didn’t have much longer to play around as the whistle, or makeshift whistle that was Luciano, sounded off and the ball was put into play. The guys’ side gained possession first, easily controlling it for the time being. I had no doubts that eventually we would gain possession. We were just too clever not to.

It may have been a game meant to be a fun night out for the couples but I could tell we were all taking it seriously. Fernando was watching the ball like a hawk as were his teammates and though they may have been the professionals in this scenario, there was no way my team was backing down without a fight.

As soon as he gained possession of the ball, I closed the distance between us and tried to poke it away. My hand gripped onto his waist as I tried to maneuver around him. Thankfully there would be no referee in this game.

“I’m not as young as I used to be,” he spoke though still concentrating on the ball between his feet.  

“You’re right. You’re not as sharp as you used to be either.” It was the perfect moment for me to poke away the ball, hitting it with my toe to squeeze it from between his legs and to my awaiting teammate’s feet. “Better luck next time,” I spoke into his ear before jogging off and following the action.

The game continued like that the rest of the way with one team gaining possession for a bit before being distracted and losing the ball. Fernando was purposely showing off, even nearly nutmegging me if it weren’t for my quick reaction that caused me to close my feet together before he could.

Goals bounced in and around the net on both sides but thankfully, it was my side that came out victorious.

I had definitely underestimated how tired I would feel after 90 minutes of action and while I bounced around for a moment celebrating with my team, I was now bent over resting my hands onto my knees. The guys all came around to hug me and congratulate me with a good game, the line ending with my husband’s smile.

“Good game tonight.”

I straightened and said, “Thank you. You weren’t so bad yourself. I can’t wait until you’ll have to pay up tomorrow. I can already envision that back massage.”

“I’ll make sure it’s a great one,” he chuckled. Nando leaned down and began helping me out of my cleats, dropping the athletic flip flops he had brought for me to slide in. I held onto his shoulder for balance as he did that.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Once the shoes were off he stood back up to eye level with me.

“You think I could maybe start cashing in on my win early and get a nice night with you?” I draped my arms over his shoulders as I closed the distance between us.

“A nice night? Define nice night.”

“Just you…” I snaked my hand discreetly under his shirt. “And me. And our bed.”

He grabbed for my hands wound under his shirt. “Sex wasn’t in your deal,” he winked. “If I remember correctly I just owe you a massage, food and a clean home. I don’t think you’re going to get any of this body tonight.”

He sent a love tap to my ass before he began walking off as the others had did towards their cars. “Lovely doing business with you, Mrs. Torres. We’ll have to do this again sometime.”

gif credit to myreligionitsfootball