but seriously there is so much that's missing

anonymous asked:

i think cole is lonely (and maybe intoxicated) in london and that's why he went full 😍😍

Don’t you dare make me imagine Cole all sleepy, tipsy and lonely af in a hotel bed (drunk)chatting Lili about how much he misses her and stalking her on instagram with a grumpy little pout.😲😲 But seriously there must have been some alcohol involved and him being extra clingy yesterday night for him to actually leave A HEART EYES EMOJI  in her comment section. This is so not Cole and I love how all of us just know that he would never do such thing under normal circumstances. Poor boy regrets leaving NYC! 😍

anonymous asked:

Did EH really invent tumblr aesthetic? Like lyric posts or what did you mean (or did I just not get an obvious joke)? Sorry I wasn't around at that time?

lana del rey and marina quite literally shaped tumblr aesthetic. when tumblr became popular around 2013, marina and lana had been tumblr icons for 1 or 2 years already.

you can see in old posts from 2012 & 2013, marina popularized grungey gifs, her iconic tweets, those pop art lookin collage thingies, and those angsty/diva-ish gifs and edits as much as lana did. although they’re outdated now, they were almost everywhere. larina LITERALLY invented the aesthetic so many artists try to imitate. thats why electra heart was so successful, because her persona appealed to much of her online fanbase.

i made this blog around dec 2013 but i clearly remember seeing gifs of her during the EH era on tumblr as early as fall 2012 and thinking who tf is this aesthetic hoe every1 is talking about lmao

no seriously, during the EH era all of tumblr was obsessed with marina, it was beautiful. froot era is my fave but i miss the intimacy diamonds had during that time tbh

Analysis of Kidge
  • When i watched VLD for the first time i was simply amazed by quality. The fact that Dream Works did such a great job on this reboot made my heart skip a beat.
  • All the characters have very nice designs and I.Love.It. Must say i like how they change Pidge into a girl - she is my favourite character(so far) and the possibilities for ships in this show are incredibly. Problematic. For me.
  • Or at least were.
  • When it comes to shipping, i'm usually waiting until the last episode to judge, if those characters could work for me as ship or otp. I love to turn on my analytical thinking on. (that's just how i roll lol) You know - "interaction quality". At first i (what's suprising) din't focus on Klance, the most popular and loved ship or any other ship in particular. My attention drew Pidge x Shiro.(i know, don't get triggered now ok? let me explain)
  • They were just adorable leader - haker team, linked by the situation with Matt and their father. I need to say this, i did ship them romanticaly... But, i found out that she is a litlle younger than him and then Shiro just dissapeared in the last episode of season 2. Poof. Heartbroken lol jk.
  • So my hart was a little confused but i moved on quickly.
  • I decided to rewatch Voltron, just for fun, look for things i did not notice before or just animation errors. Or ANALYSING PLOTS DIRECTION.
  • Guess what happend. Ironically i found fanart of the last couple i could think of. Kidge/Peith.
  • My first reaction was really stupid and bad like :
  • "what is this, who made this, why them together, i don't understand this at all, they don't have much screen time together, did i missed something, must check it out myself and judge"
  • I was really suprised. Like, i don't know why actually.
  • Turns out i was not paing enough analytic attention.
  • It really bothered me so i ended up rewatching voltron just to UNDERSTAND why some people ships Kidge. Seriously.
  • (At that point i was shipping everything BUT KIDGE)
  • And it was good choice to check it out.
  • I was analysing literally EVERY little thing. Like some frikin' conspiracy theory fanatic. And i put my shippers google on.
  • Thats the irony of this situation. Because i find more quality in Kidge than i was expecting. It's true, for some reason they really don't have much time-bonding on screen and i hope it will change in season 3. I don't understand why.
  • If we take a look at things from 80s - they were like ... Best Friends forever.
  • BUT let's go back to VLD. When Keith and Katie do have time on screen together. Ooh. Dude. It's... Really something interesting to watch and think of.
  • Not just because it's suppouse to be cute or whatever, but to understand deepness of the whole show and characters.
  • Both, Pidge/Katie and Keith had someone close to them who was tooked by Zarcons force - Katies brother and father, Keiths dear friend Shirogane Takashi, who (acording to scene where Keith is talking to Shiros hologram) was like brother to him.
  • (brother-zone, thanks Keith for breaking my dreams of Sheith. Still gona ship platonicaly though.)
  • Katie joined the academy, Keith dropped out. Both were devoted and driven by need to search for the answers.
  • Both are inteligent, stubborn and could be daring.
  • Both are not really good when it comes to socialise with people, althoug Pidge is slightly better at this than Keith, who usually plays the role of the lone wolf of Voltron. (not really, he is emo cinnamon roll)
  • Both become voltron arms, side by side working as Sword and Shield of Voltron.
  • It's not just comparisson. They are different in some aspects which brings great balance between them as a duo.
  • Keith is the intuition and feelings, Kaite intelect and logic of Voltron.
  • Just like human left and right side of brain, lions of Voltron working together making it whole.
  • They interactions are not like the rest of palladins, and im not biasing right now to prove my point. There is much more to it than that.
  • It's just pure neutral analysis. When Keith and Lance were showing sings on certain mission it was problematic at first for them to understand each other.
  • While the Keith and Pidge needed only ONE nod to know what is the other one thinking, able to cooperate in case to attack the intruder.
  • That's exacly what makes me interested in this ship.
  • Not sweetness of them. Not becuse it look good/bad. Not the single moments, fanarts, fanfics,of them. But the wonderful pleasure and possibility of analising it just for fun and thinking about the future episodes.
  • Disclaimer :
  • 1. a)they are not my only otp/brotp/ or whatever. I'm a multishipper, and i respect all of the opinions.
  • If you don't like it. I understand and not gonna hate you becuse of that.
  • b) Simply becuse i like all of the characters. Yes, even Galra race needs some love.
  • 2. English it's not my first language, so sorry for every grammar mistake i did in text. Hopefully it's not that bad.
  • 3. I like to draw fanarts of different ships in Voltron, so if you have a problem with that, i'm sorry but it's not gonna change. After all we are all part of the one big fandom. Just like Voltron. We should at least respect each others oppinions.
read the bartimaeus sequence.
  • nothing has ever made me cry more than ptolemy's gate. the ending obviously had me weeping like a madwoman but the bartimaeus/ptolemy arc and the alexandria parts had me actually bawling my eyes out. i don't want to and will never forget these books. they are not just children's fairytales but a journey of laughs, tears, sort of not liking a character and seeing them redeem their true selves. it was a ride and it was beautiful and i will always remember it. it was so much that was needed in a trilogy and constituted purely platonic relationships. maybe that's why it's not more famous but i'd choose bartimaeus any day over any ya novels.the whole story is just so ... i'm at a loss of words. there's not really a safe haven for our nat like hogwarts or camp half-blood and any comfort he had like mrs underwood or ms lutyens were taken away from him. he became a creature he didn't really want to be and bart saw all those changes but he still saw the good in him, still saw the brightness of the ptolemy he had lost all those years ago. and then, kitty was a whole another dynamic. her friendship with jakob, her hatred of the magicians, her participation in the resistance. it takes a lot knowing that what you set your entire life to was a false hope. and kitty and bart. there was so much that bart saw in kitty that reminded him of ptolemy and you know one of the most important things in the entire series is the ptolemy/bartimaeus bond. his intentions were the best and bartimaeus took time to understand that but he DID and that's why he loved him. loved him as a person who was the first to be different and recognise each and every soul. like seriously, if you haven't yet read it GO READ BARTIMAEUS. i promise it will be a rollercoaster and it WILL be heartbreaking but completely worth it. you're missing out on a lot, so please I IMPLORE YOU, READ THIS WONDERFUL SERIES.

anonymous asked:

how does jack hate himself there isn't anything that suggests it in the book he is proud of everything he does, in fact ralph is the one that's unsure of himself and asks for piggy's help, not to mention ralph always needs other people's approval -as in the hunting scene, whereas jack didn't need approval for his hunting he did it because he was crazed as f, and no he didn't do it to impress ralph that's another hc of the fandom. there isn't such a thing as low self esteem jack in the orig book

are u sure abt that anon… are u RLLY sure bc look here. lookit the scene in which jack first paints his face. (this is halfway thru ch 4 if u wanna read along)

now this line raised some questions for me: did he dislike the paint or did he dislike the face underneath?? jack is canonically ugly, bony, and a ginger (which has been regarded as undesirable since the dawn of time apparently) so it would make sense if he didnt like the way he looked. i made a little note on it and continued, deciding to analyze later.

then.. this passage a few paragraphs down

“an awesome stranger” … jack looks down at his reflection and sees someone different!! wouldnt that be jarring for the typical egomaniac? he’s excited to not look like himself, indicating a previous disdain for his own face.

and if thats not enough for you, please direct your attention to the highlighted line. (ngl its where i started screaming in the annotations) jack has a new face, one which “[liberates him] from shame and self-consciousness.” jack was ashamed of himself. he was self-conscious about himself. he hated himself. and now he has a chance to look like– to be someone new!

the idea of not being himself is so exciting to jack that he actually dances (what a cutie), which he only does in cases of extreme happiness (see: when he finally catches a pig)

furthermore, there are questions that arise when considering jack and piggys relationship: why does jack hate him so much??

the simplest answer is that piggy is an easy target– already an outsider on multiple fronts and an easy scapegoat/punching bag. but bullies do things for a reason. and there are about a million studies that say people hurt other people because theyre hurting.

so yes anon, jack seems proud of all his actions, but just like the paint that jack hides behind, that’s a mask too. theres a difference between ones thoughts and ones actions, and for someone like jack (a liar, manipulator, and all around bad dude) that difference can be incredibly huge

but dont worry anon!! you didnt catch it because you didnt look hard enough. and thats exactly what jack merridew would have wanted.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @miss-coverly !!

I’m super glad we began to talk and that we are now friends! You have helped me so much (seriously) and I love talking to you so thank you! ♡ (and I guess I can also thank AF and yoi XD)

Anyway, I hope you have great birthday! :)

the eva adults need to be talked about more. they need 10x the amount of attention that they’re often afforded. all of them, but especially misato katsuragi; the secondary protagonist who is always written off as a supporting character, a sidekick, or a deuteragonist – forever doomed to be a talking point in fan discussion to the extent that her actions shed light on shinji’s personal growth

this isn’t just my biased desire to see legitimately interesting characters get the attention they deserve. misato, ritsuko, kaji, yui, naoko, and gendo are just as representative of eva’s integral themes as the pilot kids. people have gotten pretty good at handling instances where the eva kids get bastardized, but there’s nary a whisper when the adults get misinterpreted among casual and serious fans alike – so much that the most popular fandom interpretations are the very same ones that the shows goes to great lengths to ultimately prove false

if you’re watching nge, focus on the eva adults’ narratives, their backstories, their motivations, the selves they keep hidden or concealed. you’re seriously missing out, otherwise

Excuse my terrible graphic..So I hit 1k about a week and a half ago and I finally found the time to do this! I cannot believe that all of you follow me and I’m very grateful to all of you for deciding that this mess of a blog was worth following! I apologize because this is going to be long.

Mutuals are bolded                                                                                                 *No favorites because I love you all

#

@1940sdeancas

A-D

@acklesandsnackles | @acklescollins | @adoringmisha | @allthebeautifulthings9828 | @almaasi | @alternativesam@americanackles | @amordelfriki | @autumnwhisp | @backinlimbo | @bbycas | @bittercasblogger | @bubblebuttcas | @cabinboyjackles | @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you  | @casbadass | @casgrace | @casisanidjit | @caslovesnetflix | @casthegrumpy | @castiel-left-his-mark-on-me | @castielsjoy | @castielstattoo | @castielsweetness | @castieltherebel | @castikale | @celestialackles | @chattyanon | @chevrolangels | @chiwalker | @cockleddean | @comfortcastiel | @cuddlyxackles | @dean-bangs-cas-in-the-impala | @deancasheadcanons | @deanfucker | @deanneedsyou | @deansangelicpurity | @deanscolette | @deanthatsmypie | @deathtwonormalcy | @destieldrabblesdaily | @devilscas | @doomedbrothers 

F-J

@fawnjensen | @feministcastiel | @fiercedean | @firestartercas | @frecklesandfeathers | @friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman | @gazetiel | @glorioustiel | @grumpycas | @heavensfallenwarriors | @hellboundhunters | @hscastiel | @humblesam | @huntingfreewill | @i-miss-castiel | @itsaboutjensen | @jared-mooose-padalecki | @jarmishjen | @jenmish | @jenmisheel | @jennilah | @jensdmitri | @jensensitive | @jewelcas

K-N

@katteens | @kingcasifer | @kookiecas | @leviathncas | @lionheartedcas | @livelaughloveboo | @lovefromdean | @lunamisha | @maidmisha | @mattcohenss | @mgmasters | @mishackl | @mishacoliins | @mishananigans | @mishasjens | @mishasjensens | @mishkajackles | @mishpala | @mundanecas | @museaway | @mybabcas | @myfavoritebisexual | @mylittlecassbutt 

O-S

@obsidiandean | @pennyackles | @perfjensen | @poorbeautifuldean | @preciousmish | @prettyboydean | @prettymessedupsituation @princesscas |  @puppycastiel | @puppymish | @purgatoryfreckles | @purgatorywithdean​ | @queenbeecastiel | @queencas | @radiatecas | @raspberrydean | @righteuos | @rockandrollchick | @samtulip@scruffyseraph | @some-people-call-it-tragic | @stardustsam | @stormyjensen | @strengthcas@suckmywinchester | @sunshinesamuel | @sweetlycas 

T-Y

@taintedean | @the-dangerous-ginger | @the-not-so-virgin-nerd-angel | @the-rising-demonmistress-of-styx | @thearchangelofsass | @thearronaut | @thekingslover | @thenightyouknow | @thylasam | @tinkercas | @transcendentalcas | @trenchcoatandimpala | @trulycas | @ultravioletcas | @unfurrowed | @unheavenlycas | @unholyseraphs | @vodkamisha | @whelvenwings |@wingsdestiel | @winjennster | @yall-mothafuckas-need-misha | @youre-fucking-gorgeous | @yourfavoritedirector  

ofshockwaves  asked:

👍 - I WON'T LIE YOU ALREADY BLOW ME AWAY WITH YOUR WRITING. Like I see Nejire in everything you've posted and it's both intimidating and inspiring.

thumbs up for mel??

[ ooc ] HOLY SMOKES BC THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR BLOG??!! But seriously, thank you so much!!! I feel like I’m still missing something about her character although it doesn’t help that there’s barely any info on her even though she’s one of the big three ( can you sense my bitterness over this? ) /hugs you forever though for the thumbs up!!

Losing Your Memory One Shot → Sequel

Pairing: (Calum) / Michael x Reader

Request: Yes

A.N.: Alright so if you wanna read this you should read the ‘original’ Losing your Memory Calum One Shot first, (x) it will be easier to understand whats happening in this one, I hope it turned out as good as the first part, since it was one of my best works i like to think that okay I really liked the story. It turned out pretty long I’m sorry.

Four month has past since Calum’s death. I tried so hard to not lose myself in my grief again but that didnt work out very well. The first couple of month I hung out with my friends, going to the mall or having a movie night or whatever but I never really wanted to leave the house. I was never up to do something I just wanted to be left alone. I only spent time with them to make them happy and so they’d think I’m okay. But I’m not.

I’m still far away from being okay and I honestly don’t think I will ever be okay again. I smile and try to convince myself that I’m fine, I laugh and try to make it sound real, I don’t cry in front of anyone to show them that I’m strong. But all of that is a lie. I’m trying so damn hard to keep myself together but as soon as I’m home and alone I break down. I have lost everything. Everything I ever cared about, my Mom my Dad, Calum. And everything in me wanted to die as well. 

Lately I started to barely leave the house. I still live in the same apartement as Calum and I did before his death. I couldn’t make myself move out. There were too many memories of him in here I didn’t want to lose. Eventually one of the boys would drop by and keep me company, they tried to cheer me up, get me out of the house but I always rejected them. Why couldn’t they understand that I wanted to be alone?

Today was the anniversary where Calum and I got together. Dating for almost 5 years now. I remember as it was yesterday, one of the best days of my life.

“Wow Calum this is incredible! Did you do that all by yourself?” I asked surprised at the sight infront of me. He took me up to the roofgarden of one of his friends, it was decorated with all of my favorite flowers, candles, beautiful lanterns and in the middle of it was a table and two chairs. “I certainly did.” He smiled and walked me over to one of the chairs. He pulled it back for me to sit down. “Thanks.” I smiled and looked up to him. “Wow you’re so beautiful.” he wispered, more to himself than me. I shyly smiled and I felt my cheeks redden. “God, you’re so cute when you blush.” Calum smiled and sat down on the chair in front of me. The evening went by so quick, there was nothing we didn’t talk about. That was one thing I love so much about Calum, I could talk to him about absolutely everything and he’d listen. Whether it was about my day, my family, the music I like or the movies I watch, he would listen to me, argue with me, laugh with me but never judge me, doesnt matter if he agreed with me or not. It was the perfect evening and I didn’t want for it to end. Its past midnigt when he said we should get back. “Wait. Before we go I wanna show you something.” Calum said exitedly. “Come on!” he took my hand and walked with me to the edge of the rooftop, never letting go of my hand. My heart started beating faster and faster and I was sure my heart would burst out of my chest any minute. “Look at this!” he moved slightly behind me, one hand on my back and the other pointing out the beautiful city lights in front of us. “Wow. Calum this is so beautiful!” I smiled. “You know what else is really beautiful?” he said and turned me around so I’d face him. I looked up to him, locking my eyes with his. “W-what?” I stuttered, not being able to talk properly. He just made me so nervous everytime he looked at me. “You.” he whispered and leaned closer to me. My heartbeat increased immediatly and the next thing I know, Calum’s lips met mine. I felt fireworks exploding inside of me, I couldn’t believe this actually happened. After we broke the kiss, the tingly feeling in my belly didn’t want to leave again. Calum bit his lip and took a deep breath before taking both of my hands in his. “(Y/N) I- I need to ask you something.” he said nervously. I just nodded waiting impatiently for his question. “You know, I- I really uhm- I really like you (Y/N) and uhm…wow…do you wanna be my girlfriend?” he asked quickly and bit his lip. I held my breath and just looked at Calum, my heart doing backflips. “I - yes of course!” I almost yelled and slung my arms around Calum’s neck. 

I got torn out of my thought as I heard the doorbell ringing. I sighed and stood up, making my way towards the front door when I realized my cheeks were wet. I didnt even notice that I was crying. I quickly wiped my tears away before I opened the door.

“What do you want?” I asked Michael who was stading in my doorframe with two huge pizza boxes in his hands. “I’m here to keep you company, whether you want it or not.” he said and softly pushed me aside to let himself in. “You’ve been really distant lately and I don’t like that.”

 "I don’t like that you’re here Michael, I wanna be alone so please leave.“ I said annyoed and tried to push him back towards the door.

"No. I’m not letting you out of my sight again. I’m worried about you (Y/N)!”

“I’m fine.”

“No. You’re acting like you’re fine but I know you’re not. Let me help you." 

"I don’t need your help Michael.”

“You do (Y/N)! You need help! You can’t hide forever! You can’t lose yourself in your grief. You need to get out of the house again! This is not healthy for you." 

"But I don’t want to! I don’t wanna go out. I don’t wanna talk. I just want you to leave me the hell alone!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. “I’m not gonna leave you. Just talk to me. Please! Don’t shut yourself out from the world!” Michael reasoned trying to get hold of my shoulders but I pushed him away.

“I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t want to talk to anyone!” Michael sighed, his hand ruffling through his hair. “Damn it (Y/N) you’re not the only one who lost someone you love! I loved Calum too! He was my best friend so don’t act like that!” he said rather angry.

“Don’t act like that? Seriously? I know he was your best friend and you loved him but thats fairly different! Calum and I, we were in love! We wanted to get married, he freaking proposed to me the day of the accident! We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and now he’s gone! He is just gone and he’s never coming back. Ever! I want him back Michael. I need him! I can’t do this! I can’t live in this god damn world without him! I miss him. I miss him so damn much!” I cried, slapping my hands on my face, trying to hide my tears. 

Suddenly I felt the comfort of Michael’s arms aroud my body. “Shhh.” he whispered, holding me tight. “I wanna die. I just wanna die. Please just let me die.” I sobbed desperatly. “Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that! I know its hard! But don’t you dare do something stupid! There are still people who love you and need you! One day you will get over it! You need to move on! I’m not saying you have to forget Calum but you really need to move on! He wouldn’t want that life for you." 

"I know, but it’s so hard. I - I just miss him so much. I can’t do this.” I cried. “You can! You’re strong and if you ever need someone to talk, I’m always there for you I hope you know that!” I sighed, looking up to him. “T-thanks.” I stuttered. “You’re going to get through this.” Michael put his hands on my cheeks, wiping away my tears. I just nodded, hugging him again. “Thank you.”

**

It’s been six month since Calum’s death. I’m feeling a little better now, I don’t have this strong urge to be with him anymore, to take my own life. I still miss him like hell and I still think of him everyday, but I’m trying to move on. 

Mostly I thank Michael for that, he was with me almost every day. Cheering me up, making me laugh. He was the only one who could do that lately. And he was the only one I could talk about Calum and to be honest, it felt really good, and I’m feeling relieved after everytime I talked to Michael. I’m so greatful that he is always there for me. 

“Hey, go get dressed. I’m gonna take you somewhere.” Michael said, his car keys dangling in his hand. “Where?” “You’ll see.” He smiled and walked towards the front door. “You coming or what?” I rolled my eyes and playfully hit his shoulder. “Just shut up.” I giggled and got into the car. 

We drove for about 15 minutes when we finally arrived our destination. I didnt know where we were going until we drove past the church. Please no. “Michael, you’re not taking me to the cemetery are you?” I gasped. I never visited Calum’s grave, I couldn’t do it and I didn’t understand why Michael took me there now. I told him that I wasn’t ready for that. Michael parked the car and got out of it, opening my door. I didn’t move one bit, “I’m not getting out of the car.” I mumbled crossing my arms over my chest. “Yes you will.” “No, you can’t force me and I can’t believe you actually brought me here! I told you I don’t want to visit his grave!" 

"I know you did, but I think it’s time for you to say goodbye. You didn’t talk at the funeral so I think now is a good time for it. I can go with you if you want, or you can go alone. But please go and say your goodbyes. You’ll feel relieved after that, believe me.”  

I think he was actually right, I wasn’t able to talk at the funeral, his mother asked me if I wanted to say a few words but I couldn’t bring myself to it. I couldn’t even sit throughout the whole ceremony.

I looked around the church. Everyone was dressed fancy and in black. Sad looks on everyones faces. A lot of flowers were placed next to Calum’s coffin, along with one of my favorite pictures of him. I was seated next to his mother who was crying uncontrollably. Of course I can’t blame her. I tried really hard to pull myself together and not cry. Each time I looked at one of the crying people in this church my tears kept stuck in my eyes. I couldn’t cry, I didn’t know why but I felt nothing. I just sat there emotionless and cold. I didn’t smile, I didn’t talk, I just sat there. I didn’t even want to be here. If it wasn’t for Ashton, Luke and Michael I woulnd’t even be here. I hated them for bringing me to this damn funeral. As Mali started talking about her brother, sharing some of her favorite memories I started to loose it. My body started shaking and every fiber I got just wanted to leave this church, to run away from all of this, to run away and scream. And thats what I did. I quickly stood up and ran out of the church. I didn’t care what people thought of me I just had to get out of there. I ran down the streets as long as I could before I broke down on the middle of the street just screaming my loungs out.

 "I-I dont know if I can Michael thi-“ "I know you can (Y/N)!” Michael cut me off, “I know its hard but it’ll help!” I nodded slightly “Can you- can you come with me?” I asked, tears in my eyes. “Of course.”

Silently Michael and I walked over to Calum’s grave. I stopped a few meters before, I couldnt make myself go farther. “Michael I cant- I c-cant I cant go, I cant -” I panicked, I started breathing heavily, my whole body was shaking. I turned around to run away but Michael got hold of my hand. “(Y/N) stop. Stop.” he whispered, “Calm down. Breathe.” I closed my eyes trying to even my breathing. I bit my lip to keep my chin from trembling. For moments we just stood there, not saying anything. “Okay uhm let’s - let’s go.” I mumbled and walked towards the grave. 

As I stood in front of the grave, reading Calum’s name, silent tears were falling down my face. I shook my head and took a deep breath before speaking;

“Hey there. I- I’m sorry I didn’t visit you before.” I sadly smiled. “I- I don’t really know what to say. I- I miss you. God, how I miss you. I miss your hugs and your smile and your beautiful laugh. I miss how you tell me that you love me and…and that I’m the most radiant girl you have ever met. I miss how you wake me u-up in the morning, with fresh coffee and pancakes ready. I-I miss our little arguments and everytime you pouted when you knew that I was right. I miss out dates and I miss our cuddles. I just - I just miss everything so much. I still can’t believe its been six month already.”

“You know…if you’d be still ali-…if you’d be here with me we’d talk about our wedding. We’d plan everything, writing invitations and stuff.” I said, my voice cracking. “Oh Cal…I will always love you, you know that right?” I asked looking up the sky. “You were my first love and I will never forget you! You showed me what love even means. I would have been nothing without you. You are the only person I know I could turn to when I needed help, you are the person I looked at when I needed to smile and feel happy again. You are my whole world and just because you’re not around anymore doesn’t mean that I won’t love you anymore. You will always be in my heart. Always.” I cried. “I’m so sorry this happened to you." 

Michael walked up next to me placing his hand on my back. "Feeling better?” he asked. I just nodded, biting my lip. “Let’s go.” I said turning away from the grave. 

I stopped one more time, looking up to the sky once again. “I should have gone with you.” I whispered.

**

One year has gone by since the death of Calum. I was actually going outside the house again. Meeting with my friends, going to the movies or shopping or just having a nice evening at home, without feeling bad or guilty. I’m starting to enjoy myself again. 

I visited Calum’s grave more often now, mostly twice a week, just dropping off some flowers and telling him how my day was and how I was doing. It is still hard and I still imagine the future we could have had together. The boys always tried to make me go out and meet some new guys, have a new relationship but I wasn’t ready for that. I know it’s been a year but I couldnt imagine a new man on my side. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” I asked Michael who was sitting on the couch. We had planned a horror movie night tonight. “Uh no thanks.” he said rather nervous. I furrowed my brows. “Is something wrong?” I asked and sat down next to him. “No I just uh- I wanna ask you something." 

"What is it?" 

"Uh I was uh wondering if…if you’d like to go out with me. Like on a date?” he looked at me questioningly, biting his lip. I just looked at him with my mouth open. I didn’t know what to say. I liked Michael I really did, but was I ready to date again? I shook my head slightly, “Michael I- I dont know if- I don’t think I’m ready to date.” I said and sadly smiled at him. “I mean I like you, I really like you but -” I cut myself off, feeling tears in my eyes. “No hey, its fine. Whenever you’re ready okay?” he said and cupped my face, his thumb stroking over my cheeks. “Thank you for understanding,” I smiled. “and thank you for always being there for me. Just..thank you for everything.”

I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is always nice. :) x

6

Okay, can we talk about this really fast since so many people are saying it’s so impossible that Moriarty faked his own death? The main argument is that yes, he shot himself in the mouth on screen so how do you come back from that. 
BUT
he absolutely did not shoot himself “on screen” The first photo of the set is the exact moment we hear the gun go off. Notice how Andrew is entirely blocked out for the frame by Benedict. We can’t see a damn thing. That’s hardly what I would call an on screen shot to the face.

The next two photos are of the gun being in Moriarty’s mouth a second before he pulls the trigger. Notice the angle at which he pointed the gun. He literally would have blown the whole upper back part of his head off with an angle like that. That’s not just me surmising that. I took a criminal investigations class with a homicide detective last year and he showed us different photos of what happens if someone shoots themselves at a distance that close (and at the different angles), as opposed to when they are shot by someone else to help rule whether it’s a suicide or not. Basically if he’s shooting into his mouth the bullet would expand as it exited his skull and would blow a larger section out of the back of his head. This would also definitely lead to blood spatter on the structures behind him you can see in the first photo as the blood splatter would have a somewhat large radius behind him.

Notice how in the fourth photo this is when Sherlock looks back at him after a minute or so of panicking or what not. Notice how in tact his head looks after taking a point blank shot in the mouth. It would never happen. Yes, I know this is a tv show and we can’t go full Texas Chainsaw Massacre here. But it’s not plausible at all to think there would be no damage to his skull at all because the exit wound would be rather big. 

The last one is the one someone else has already pointed out in a great post I’ve reblogged a few times. The two main points of this one is that it was after quite some timeafter he had pulled the trigger and been laying there. Sherlock had been pacing and then talking to John for a bit before he looks back and we get this shot. That is an extremely small amount of blood pooling around his head for him supposedly blowing his brains out. It’s almost ridiculous how small of a pool it is considering the actual blood loss would be extreme at this point. Again, I’ve seen some grisly pictures in my class of actual suicides so I have a tiny bit to go on here. I’m no expert to be fair, I’m just using the little I learned to base this around. 

The final piece is one that was touched on by the other poster, and it’s that the gun is still gripped pretty firmly in his hand after he fell to the ground. In most suicide cases you’ll find the gun near the body. In some cases it expels rather far away from the body and can seem like a murder because of the guns distance. In others it drops next to the body. And in rare cases, yes, it can still be in their hands. But that is also very very rare. The chances are slim to none that if he had actually shot himself he’d still be holding the gun. The other poster surmised that he potentially held on in case Sherlock saw through it and came closer to inspect that he was really dead. 

What we do know is Sherlock did not get close or really inspect the body for more than a few glances while he was panicking (or not panicking necessarily, but immediately after like with the fourth photo) and from afar (like for the last photo). I don’t think he used a fake gun, there’s no way. Sherlock demonstrated his knowledge of guns in the first episode with the serial killer cab driver and his fake gun. Moriarty also displayed his knowledge of guns in The Great Game with the “Is that a British Army L9A1 in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?” line. So it’s extremely possible he’d be able to fake his own death using said knowledge of guns. He could have used blanks, which if he took the proper precautions to make sure there was no debris in the gun, would produce the same noise as a regular gun and the flash a gun makes when it’s fired but it would be essentially completely harmless, hence why even watching it happen Sherlock could be fooled. Blanks look and sound very real.

I just wanted to point that out for all the people who are so positive there is absolutely no way Jim Moriarty could have faked his death, never mind that he is equally as genius as Sherlock and likely planned out just as many ways the meeting on the roof could go with just as many reactionary plans as well. He most certainly could have, and here’s hoping he did. Because I for one am very excited to see my favorite character return.

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and now for a long ramble on how much I love ya’ll

Keep reading

….man, it’s been at the back of my mind for a while but i just

i really hope to be able to be as, like. what’s the word? sensory? metaphorically? as metaphorically sensory as sister claire’s ash is for putting the missing moments together, when it comes to my own writing

because everything described seems so far-away and reads like when you’re reading a fairy tale to me, but also hits home and is so very clear in what each smell or sight or emotion is.

I don’t understand how people can not like musicals, they’re like real life but WITH MUSIC AND SONGS how can you not like that? it’s like real life but BETTER in fact it’s like what real life SHOULD BE because frankly the lack of a soundtrack in real life always weirded me out a little

HELLO FRIENDS !! So hello it’s me I don’t really know how to structure this I’ve never done a follow forever before so ? Idk man I am so happy to have reached 1k like that’s so many people to me wow WOW thats like two year groups in my school this is so exciting !!! Anyway thank you for all being seriously sweet lil bb lamb chops I adore all of u as much as I love hedgehogs and corgis (thats a lot I swear I’m not rippin u off)

ANYwaY I’m gonna go ahead and do this I’m definitely going to miss ppl out bc there’s so many of you but please forgive me I’m just a lil teenage girl trying to survive

(I’m literally just copying other ppl here but bolded ppl are ppl I class as my faves/ the coolest/ my friends and by friends I mean admire ur blog from afar and want us to be friends)

A-B-C 

alltaywell / all-too-well / aninnocent / andthatlittleblackdress / andturnittorain / andyoucallmeupagain / backtdecember / befearlessinred / bemyoldselfagain / bestapologies / breakburnandends / brokeuplastnight / butlovinghimwasred / catchmenows / chasingfortunes / cmebackbehere / comebackbehere / coldhardground / colorsinautumn /comemorninglight / comingeasily /cvlum-hood 

D-E-F

darkblueetennessee / defacinguitars / demonsandarling everythinhaschanged / elgrt / feelingtwentytwo / flashbacksandechoes / flfteen / fortunesandfame / fullofswift / fundon /

G-H-I

gettingsweptaway / heldyourpride / holdinglullaby / holygroumd / holygrounds / hurtsorbleed / idnevergrownup / idgobacktodecember / iknewyouweretroubles / imeetyouinwarmconversations / inatwinsizedbed / inthenameofbeinghonests / itsmellslikeme inwarmconversations

J-K-L

julianblakthorn /julyninths / justbeforetheyloseitall / knowyoubetter / likehomesomehow / longlivethegirlinthedress / lovespretty / loversinthefoyers /

M-N-O

makingupforlostlove / myjourneytofearlesss / myparentsmistakes / nevereverlikeever / ofbeinghonests / onehandfeels / ourprincesswift 

P-Q-R

paintsabluesky / plaidswiftdays / paralyzedbyit / passinnotesinsecrecy / probablymindlessdreaming / realwell /  rightsandreals / riskanothergoodbye /

S-T-U

sadbeautifultragic / secondsoftay / soundsofineedyou / stoodthereandwatched / sweethirteens / swingofyourstep / swiftrecords / swlft / switfh / taylisonswft / tayloralisenswift / taylorsvivt / taysalison / teaswift / tenfeetstall / theangelscity / theblameisonme / thestarsthatshined / thinkingyourfutureisme / timewontflys / thingwasamasterpiece / totallyswifted / track5syndrome

V-W

voguetaylor / wealmostbrokeup / wegotbillstopay / weyheytay / whereveryouares / wonderingfaiths / 

X-Y-Z

youareworldsaway / youhittheground /  yourememberitalltoowell / 

this took me so long omg its like 2:30 right now i cant feel my eyes so sorry if these arent in perfect order or if ive missed anyone i really tried

I LOVE U ALL SOSOS OSO  MUCH THANK U AGAIN U ROCK HAVE A GOOD DAY !!