but seriously i liked this shot

Just Because (blurb)

Hello lovelies!!! Hope you like it ❤ if you have any request’s; request away. Seriously request as many as you want.

Requested?: yes!

Originally posted by apocryphalstories


I didn’t want to be pulled from my nap, but I was. I was finally able to rest from work, but no. I’m pulled from my nap when I feel the other side of my couch dip down. I tense up and open my left eye to peek to see the person.

It was Shawn.

He smiled weakly at me and kisses he side of my head. “Sleep baby, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” He says reaching over and running his hands through my hair.

I shake my head no and scoot over to the other side of my couch. “What’s up? How was the studio?” I say lazily. I hear a chuckle and cuddle into Shawn’s chest.

“It was good. Just tired.” I hear him sigh and rub my arm. “Was at the studio 18 hours and have shit.” He, says annoyed at himself.

“Why don’t you go home and rest. You need it.” I say about to get off Shawn so he can leave, but as I try, he stops me and makes his grip tighter.

“No stop. I wanna be with you.” He says in a whining fashion

I lay back down and let out a sigh. “Ya know you should have went home and slept. I would met you there anyway.” I hear a groan coming from Shawn.

“But I wanna be here. With you” I look up at him and catch his gaze on me.“I wanted to come, just because, I miss you. A lot” His eyes go wide at the end of his sentence and starts to play with my hair.

“I missed you.” I say laying the side of my head back on his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly and inhale his musky scent.

“Good cause I missed you, and our Netflix marathon and cuddles, definitely missed cuddles.” I smile and nod my head.

I lazily reach over for the TV remote and hand it to Shawn.

I hear the TV turn on and I feel Shawn’s hand around my thighs and smoothly move me so I’m straddling him.

“Oh I like this view” Holding his face and kissing him sweetly.

“Hm me too” He says while kissing me.

He swings his lanky long legs across the couch resting his head on the cushioned arm rest accompanied with a pillow from my nap and brings me into his side. “Ah this is comfy” He says with a sigh and I nod in agreement.

“What do you want to watch? Movie or TV show?” I shrug my shoulders and he picks his new favorite show; Grey’s Anatomy.

“Figures” I say into his sweatshirt covered chest.

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head and starts to run his hands through my hair again and I feel myself starting to drift off to sleep again but this time in Shawn’s arms.


Hope ya liked it! Feedback is appreciated. Lots of love <3

Like I know Henry was absent from much of the press tour but like based on when he was there, his energy seemed down. He was polite and joked a little, but seriously, compare him to the BvS press tour. Someone is digging through all my old posts from then, and so when I saw my activity page I was struck by just how much happier he seemed then. Very carefree, always making jokes, and here, he’s not shut off but it’s obvious that level of excitement just isn’t there.

You can just tell, he knows. He knows he essentially shot two different JL movies because the studio rejected the first one. He knows his part was singled out the most for reshoots, he knows this isn’t the character he’s been playing the last 5 years. And he knows he’s being sidelined, they’ve given up on his character and now his career is hanging on by a thread.

It’s honestly heartbreaking watching this man who in the past has shown such a keen understanding of Superman forced to regurgitate Geoff Johns’ “Hope and Optimism” shtick, and beg the studio to let him keep playing Superman. He’s been nothing but generous about what was supposed to be his star making franchise turned over to other actors and this is how they repaid him. It’s so disgusting how they treat him after all the work he put in to being the best Superman we’ve ever had.

Seventeen One Shot: Hoshi - “I Need You”

Request by @anayzae: Congratz on your followers✨👏🏼💕 You deserve it bae❤️ So for the ask thingy is Boomboom, coffee& Hoshi✨


Naww thank you!!! <33 Here you go hope you like it!!! You guys should know the drill by now ;) haha 

Theme: insecurity issues, fluff, female reader

Words: 430

*Note! I do not own any lyrics mentioned! And as always - this is just a reaction, it is in no way real, meant to offend, or to be taken seriously! I do own this gif!!*


“I don’t need you to look like everyone else,” Soonyoung whispered, resting a hand gently against your cheek. He was worried about you, about the way you were thinking about yourself. 

You made his heart burst. It quickened every time he saw you, just because of how beautiful you were to him. “But, I’m not good enough for you…” you stammered through the tears. 

Soonyoung was already dressed up. His suit all pressed and crisp. His black hair slicked back and styled to perfection. You didn’t want to stand beside him. Not the way you looked. Except you were perfect too. Why did he even ask me to go with him? 

“No,” Hoshi breathed resting his forehead against yours, brushing the tears from your cheeks. “You are more than good enough. I don’t want anyone else there with me tonight. I need you…” 

“But, those girls are all…and I’m…” He shushed you quietly, kissing your lips gently. “You are beautiful Y/N. Please, come with me.”


“Where’s Y/N?” Seungcheol muttered quietly as they were ushered down the carpert. “I thought she was coming?”

Hoshi wasn’t feeling good. He needed you by his side. The thought of you alone on that bathroom floor was killing him. The fact that he had left you alone with one cup of coffee to calm you down hurt even more. 

Seungcheol knew this wasn’t like Hoshi, especially when he walked ahead, head down, a slight smile, and wave to the fans who shouted his name.

“Hey, Hosh…” Junhui placed a hand on Hoshi’s shoulder, pointing. A sly grin passed over Jun’s lips as he waited for the moment Hoshi’s whole world would brighten. “Turn around.”

Soonyoung spun on his heels his heart already thumping at one hundred miles a minute. His heart stopped. The sight of you stopping him still. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. He sprinted over, crushing you to his chest. “You came, you came…” he mumbled into your hair.

The smell of your perfume, and the faint smell of coffee, filled his nose as he pulled your lips to his. “Of course I came,” you whispered against his mouth, ignoring the flash of cameras. 

He kissed you again, slightly deeper this time. “You taste like coffee,” he teased pulling himself away and tucking his arm through yours. All his excitement came bubbling back in a heartbeat.

“Hmm, well here’s the thing. When you leave me coffee you know what happens…”

Hoshi grinned to himself. “Of course. You can’t sit still so you need me…”

“Coffee, me and you, that’s all I need.” 

anonymous asked:

Chess - adrinette

“You’re telling me, the great and talented Adrien Agreste, has never played chess?” Marinette teased as she won another game.

“We all can’t be good at everything we pick up like an anime heroine,” Adrien shot back as he lost their 10th game in a row. He was fluent in several languages, musical instruments, and sports. But for some reason every time he challenged Marinette to anything, she always came on top. It’s almost as if she was blessed by some god of luck or something.

“Want to go again?” Marinette said with tilt of her head.

“There’s gotta be something you aren’t good at! Seriously!”

Marinette tapped her chin. “Nope. I’m great at everything.” She laughed.

He rolled his eyes. “One more game.”

3:55 am rant

After loosing an entire fucking yoonmin one shot that was written so beautifully, it’s like I have no motivation to write anything anymore 😩😩 fucking hell so pissed at myself for not checking properly. It’s worse because I’m so backed up on my other fics due to a serious case of writer’s block. And now with this shit…haven’t felt stressed like this in a long time??

Had it up to here with fascist white-boy apologia in the Star Wars fandom

Kylo is like if the son of an iconic feminist joined the alt right, then shot up his uncle’s place of worship and after years of running wild in the underground neo-Nazi scene emerged to murder his father. Just because some ugly dude on telepathic Force-chan introduced him to the tenents of fascist philosophy and edgelorddom while he was living with his clergyman uncle doesn’t mean he was brainwashed.

Whenever I’m sick or post-serious-workout or for some other reason need to rest and massively hydrate, I pop in whatever movie I want to watch, and then Google [movie title] + drinking game, and pick one of those horrifyingly lethal, seriously-do-not-do-this-IT-WILL-KILL-YOU ones, like “take a drink every time there’s a microaggression in Zootopia” (side note: do NOT DO THIS with alcohol, IT WILL KILL YOU), and take a drink of water instead of a shot of liquor. 

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration…… it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.


(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * … lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

THIAM || Theo x Liam || TEEN WOLF || S06E09 || Look at their hands. All of them. All over each other. Liam gets to feel him up while Theo totally massages his shoulder for no reason whatsoever. Also, the fact that this scene, completely out of context, looks like somebody just insulted/messed with Liam and Theo is about to rip their heads off. “You wanna say that again?!” he yells at the bitches already leaving the place. (x)

It seriously makes me laugh that bts wrote ‘I’m taking over you’ in Pied Piper like no shit is this supposed to be news ??

anonymous asked:

For the "I wish you would write a fic where..." thing: In a canon setting, except Stiles is older, went to highschool with Derek and was friend with him. He can be a deputy at the beginning, trying to deal with a newly bitten Scott, whom he considers a little brother, and the return of Derek, his friend from school and old (current) crush. Do you think it's a good idea?

So, turns out I love this idea more than anything, and I have so many ideas about this and how it would proceed, but I’m not rewriting the first season, okay. I’m not.


Stiles was very cold, very wet, and very tired, because it was midnight, raining, and he was out in the preserve looking for a body.

Half a body.

They had the bottom half, they just had to find the part they could actually ID.

East side clear, the radio on his shoulder crackled, and his dad’s voice responded for the pair of deputies to head north to meet up with the K9 team. Everything cool was happening on the northside, and yet Stiles was stuck on the southside of the preserve, with Jordan Parrish.

Jordan Parrish of unending optimism and energy.

How he got paired up with the newbie, he’d never know.

Okay, he would, because technically he was also a newbie, except he really wasn’t. Sure, he might’ve been somewhat new to being employed as a deputy of the Sheriff’s Station of Beacon County, but he’d literally grown up in that station; not one person there could say he was really a rookie.

“God, this sucks,” Stiles muttered, sweeping his flashlight back and forth across the wet and muddy ground in front of him. So far he’d found all of two dead rabbits and some dog shit someone didn’t clean up, so, real thrilling night here. Great search.

“Could be worse,” Parrish responded lightly with a shrug, and Stiles rolled his eyes at the darkness in front of him.

“Don’t say Afghanistan.”

The audible smirk in the following pause told him that was exactly what Parrish was about to say.

“I’d rather be a little damp than have sand in my boots, any day.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t step in that puddle.” Stiles’ foot was still freezing and squelched even more than the muddy forest floor beneath it.

It sucked that a woman died, yes, but Stiles was also having a rotten time.

Time passed, there were more updates of nothing found over the radio, a couple dog barks in the distance, and still they found no body.

Given that it was almost one in the morning and everyone Stiles normally talked to was either at home asleep or out in the woods with him on the radio, it took a second for his ringing cellphone to register beyond a mild annoyance that Parrish would have his phone on that loud during his shift.

“You gonna get that?” Parrish asked, and Stiles frowned at him for a second before realizing that was indeed his ringtone, and if someone was calling this late, it was probably something serious.

He only glanced at the caller ID for the briefest second as he answered.

“Yo, Scotty, what’s up?” He was about to add that he couldn’t talk right then when Scott’s panicked babbling steamrolled through his mind.

“Stiles! Oh god, you have to come get me! You’re in the preserve right? Because I’m pretty sure I’m lost, and something bit me, and—”

“Wait, hang on, you’re where?” He was tired, he was struggling to keep up with everything, and Scott was breathing like he would be needing his inhaler in about five seconds. “Why the hell are you in the woods, you know we’re looking for a body right?” he hissed into the phone, glancing briefly at Parrish, who was watching with raised eyebrows.

“Problem, Stiles?”

He shook his head, trying to act casual as Scott frantically rambled out,

“I’m by the west entrance to the preserve, I think? Stiles, I don’t know what the hell it was, but it came out of nowhere, and I’m bleeding, and I can’t find Erica—”

“Erica’s with you?” Christ, it just got better and better. “Okay, stay where you are, I’ll come find you and I’ll tell everyone to keep an eye out for Erica.”

That didn’t calm Scott down at all.

“You can’t do that, her parents would kill her if cops brought her home! You know how crazy they are!”

Stiles rubbed at his forehead. He was cold and wet and tired and now he was getting a headache. “Yes, because she has epilepsy, Scott! She could die out here.” Parrish was coming over, looking concerned. “Just stay where you are, we’re coming.”

He hung up with a frustrated huff.

“Scott’s out here?” Parrish asked, already heading south, so clearly that phone call hadn’t been as discreet as Stiles would’ve liked. At least he seemed to be going with it—despite appearances, not a total stickler for the rules. Good to know.

“And Erica. They went looking for the body.” They must’ve heard the call on the old police scanner in Stiles’ jeep. He needed to stop letting Scott borrow his car. And Scott needed to learn to stand up to Erica’s insane whims, because there was no way this wasn’t her idea.

They walked in silence for a second before Parrish said, “You know you’d do the same if you were their age, right?”

“Shut up.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I was watching my brother play xbox when I realized... professional sports teams have video games. With avatars that look just like the players and have their stats. Sooo professional exy teams could have a video games.. and when Neil and Andrew went pro they would see their little video game selves

okay so listen:

  • andrew never pays attention to literally anything going on with his exy career
  • like seriously? he goes where they tell him and does what he’s contractually obligated to do 
  • so when he had to wear a weird suit and pretend to block a bunch of fake shots he thought it was probably some weird form of monitoring his health or muscles
  • of course he doesn’t tell neil about it in their nightly skype calls becuase it’s unimportant in his mind
  • unknown to andrew, neil also did the same thing but doesn’t much care for video games so he also says nothing
  • basically a literal day after it’s happened they’ve both forgotten about it 
  • but then the game comes out 
  • and everyone starts tweeting them about it
  • and making funny vines with 6-foot whatever kevin day being checked by 5′0″” andrew minyard
  • (it’s probably some thing where you can just like assign the players any position for fun idk)
  • neil picks up on it an favorites a bunch of videos on twitter
  • (poor boy didn’t know other people could see his likes)
  • and of course matt calls neil the day it comes out
    • “neil! you didn’t tell me we’d both be in a video game together?!? how sick is that! you totally have to come over and play, bro”
  • basically neil loves it because he gets to play as andrew and ends up mimicking him as he does it 
    • “my names andrew and i squish garbage in the can until it’s too full and i refuse to take it out”
    • “hey guys, watch out! i have the ball and i’m not afraid to beam it at your ankles if you look at me the wrong way!”
    • “i’m andrew and i pretend to hate the cats but wheni think neil’s not looking i make kissy noises at them and hold them in my arms”
    • “neil’s bothering me so i’m going to pretend he’s a vegetable and pretend he doesn’t exist”
  • of course andrew catches him doing it one time when neil thought he was home alone and was playing online with matt
  • (he was home alone but had jumped into a monologue as andrew and was too distracted to hear him walk in for his weekend visit)
  • of course andrew decides to get him back by doing the same thing as neil
    • “my name is neil and i’m an idiot who has no self preservation”
    • “watch out kevin, i’m here to steal your one true love away, the court”
    • “did you guys know that i leave my socks all over the apartment becuase that’s where they belong?”
  • it definitely turns into a way for them to get out their petty aggression on one another
  • and if one of the foxes just happens to post multiple videos of it online and create a small phenomena, then that’s between them and the thousands of views
ANOTHER LOVING PSA TO ALL YOU TWEAKERS, JUNKIES AND ADDICTS FROM YOUR FAVORITE FELLOW TWEAKER...

**FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY**

  • “THERE’S NOTHING SLOWER THAN A TWEAKER IN A HURRY” MOTHERFUCKER, KEEP TRACK OF THE TIME OR USE A REMINDER OR DOZENS OF ALARMS. NOBODY LIKES WAITING FOR 5 HOURS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU’D BE THERE IN 10 MINUTES. IF YOU CATCH YOURSELF FLAILING AND TRYING TO DO 10 THINGS AT ONCE, STAND UP, FOCUS AND GATHER YOURSELF AND GET YOUR ASS MOVING. THIS IS MY BIGGEST PEEVE. BE FUCKING CONSIDERATE. I WANT MY DRUGS IN A TIMELY FUCKING FASHION. I HAVE PLACES TO BE AND A JOB TO WORK AT.


  • ARE THE FEDS AT YOUR DOOR? NO, YOU TWACKED OUT MOTHERFUCKER. THEY ARE NOT AT YOUR DOOR. DON’T BE A PARANOID FLOYD OR FANNIE AND RUIN EVERYBODY’S HIGH BECAUSE YOU GOT TOO HIGH AND THINK THE FEDS ARE GONNA GET YOU. YOUR FRIENDS MAY JUST BEAT THE TWEAK OUTTA YOU.


  • IF YOU’RE A NEWBIE, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT BURN THE FUCKING PIPE, TIP OVER THE PIPE WITH FRESHLY POURED METH, SET YOUR PIPE ON YOUR BAG OR JUST SPILL THE BAG IN GENERAL. THIS IS A SURE WAY TO DIE A TWEAKER DEATH AND GET KICKED OUT.


  • YES, YOU SELFISH SAVAGE, YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID GET A BIGASS HIT. DONT YOU DARE SAY YOU DIDNT. WE JUST SAW YOU SMOKE HALF THE BOWL.


  • HEY ASSFACES, YOU HEAR YOUR STOMACH GROWLING? IT’S TELLING YOU TO EAT SOME FOOD SINCE YOU’VE FORGOTTEN TO SHOVE TASTY THINGS IN YOUR MOUTH FOR 5 DAYS. YOU’LL BE ABLE TO POOP TOO FINALLY.


  • OH, YOU KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU CANT PISS? GET A MOTHER FUCKIN GALLON OF WATER AND DRINK IT. ACTUALLY. MAKE IT 3 GALLONS SINCE YOU WANT TO THINK YOU’RE PART CAMEL. ALSO, KEEP A CUP NEXT TO YOU SO YOU CAN SWISH WATER AROUND YOUR MOUTH TO GET THAT LAST LAYER OF METH OFF.


  • “nobody even knows or notices!” HEY YOU DOOFUS, YES THEY DO. THEY CAN TELL. YOU PROBABLY SMELL LIKE A HOOKER’S OVERUSED VAGINA FROM NOT SHOWERING FOR A WEEK. THE FUCK, BRO?


  • YOU REALLY JUST SKIPPED WORK BECAUSE YOU GOT HIGH AND FORGOT YOU HAD TO WORK 3 HOURS LATER? UH HELLO A JOB IS IMPORTANT AND YOUR BOSS PROBABLY WONT FIRE YOU IF YOU AT LEAST SHOW UP.


  • HAVING A PLACE TO LIVE IS REALLY IMPORTANT. PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT, YOU FOOL, WITH THAT FULL TIME JOB YOU KEEP FORGETTING TO GO TO.


  • ARE PEOPLE SHOCKED THAT YOU FINALLY EMERGED AND CAME OUTSIDE AFTER ABOUT 3 WEEKS OF BEING M.I.A? HEY, YOU NEED SOME FRESH AIR AND TO BE PART OF OUTSIDE WORLD AND HANG OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY.


  • YOU’VE BEEN GETTING HIGH FOR THE LAST 6 DAYS BUT YOU CANT SEEM TO GET ANY HIGHER? HELLO, DING DONG, THAT’S YOUR TOLERANCE TELLING YOU TO TAKE A BREAK FOR A DAY. LET IT DROP LONG ENOUGH FOR THE NEXT TIME YOU GET HIGH, YOU ACTUALLY GET HIGH. YOU’RE JUST WASTING YOUR PRODUCT, KIDDO.


  • HAVENT HEARD A PEEP OUT OF YOUR PET OR YOUR CHILD? THAT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING DEAD DUE TO LACK OF FOOD. DONT BE AN ASSHOLE AND FORGET ABOUT YOUR ADORABLE ANIMALS AND YOUR CHILD(REN). THEY NEED YOU. THEY LOVE YOU. TINA DOESNT LOVE YOU.


  • REMEMBER TO TEXT PEOPLE BACK. DONT FUCKING GO GHOST FOR 3 DAYS BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO HIGH AND DISTRACTED. PEOPLE WORRY AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF, YOU SELFISH FUCKFACE.


  • YOUR PLACE LOOKS LIKE A TORNADO, TSUNAMI, HURRICANE AND NATURAL DISASTER HAPPENED? DONT FORGET TO CLEAN YOUR PLACE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. HELLOOOO.


  • IF YOU’VE BEEN SOBER FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO JAIL OR RECOVERY, BE SMART. YOUR BODY CANNOT HANDLE THE SAME AMOUNT YOU WERE DOING BEFORE YOU SOBERED UP. YOUR TOLERANCE LITERALLY DOESNT EXIST SO YOU’LL PROBABLY END UP OVERDOSING AND BEING DEAD. LIKE PLEASE DONT DO AN ENTIRE GRAM SHOT AT ONCE IF YOU’VE BEEN SOBER FOR LIKE A YEAR. T H I N K.


  • GET OFF THE FUCKING FLOOR. YOU’VE BEEN CARPET SURFING FOR 5 HOURS. THERE’S NOTHING ELSE THERE. GET THE FUCK UP.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, SET A BUNCH OF REMINDERS IN YOUR PHONE SO YOU DONT FORGET TO DO THESE THINGS.

happy tweaking :)

Baseball (M)

(I can’t get over baseball Jungkook so I had to write something)

╳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader 

╳ Genre: smut | One shot

╳ Summary: You hated being dragged to baseball games because your best friends boyfriend was on the team. But maybe this time wasn’t going to be so bad.


“You know I hate baseball” You said, your arm being dragged as your friend pulled you across your lawn.

“Yes, and basically any sport” Your friend Rylee said, unlocking her car door. “But today is his big game and I really want you to come along!”

Keep reading

When the Cock Crows

Originally posted by whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname

A/N: This is pure silly fun. Basically it’s the kind of trash conversations my ass blesses subjects my friends to. Seriously though, it’s a result of a post from @impala-dreamer, I yelled at her for it and then she was a terrible influence and encouraged these shenanigans by talking to me about it (oh yeah she beta’d it too because she’s an angel). I hope you guys like it!

Warnings: So many swears…l mean cock is in the title ffs…also we’ll call it smut adjacent (nothing graphic it’s just on the road to bang town) Gratuitous use of a Sam gif for no other reason than chest hair.

Words: 2,060 (I’m not even sorry)

~

“Did anyone catch what she said before the…the uh poof?”

“I got nothin’ Sammy. Y/N?”

“Y/N!”

“It’s…I’m fine. Just knocked the wind outta me. Babe, I’m ok really.”

“Ok well maybe she didn’t do anything? Maybe she just said stuff for the poof.”

“Sure Dean. Because stuff like that always happens to us. She was looking at us, Y/N was behind her so most likely if any of us are cursed it’ll be either me or you.”

Sam wasn’t looking at Dean while he spoke. He was checking you over to see if you were hurt. It was sweet. Sweet, and so annoying.

“Hey I’m fine. Let’s just get back motel and figure out our next move.”

“She’s right, Dean you want to pull the car up and I’ll help Y/N out?”

Keep reading

Everyone Needs to Watch American Vandal on Netflix

It’s a mockumentary meant to parody Netflix’s famous docu-series “Making a Murderer” (gotta appreciate them taking a shot at themselves), but takes itself just as seriously even though the subject matter doesn’t look like it deserves that serious of an inspection… at first. Though marketed as a comedy, I recommend approaching this as a straight-up drama, because it ends up being one of the most intricate, subtle dissections of 21st century teenage culture and the American educational system as a whole ever made. The actors are all age-appropriate for once too, and very good in their roles. Went in with 0 expectations and came away with my jaw on the floor. A must-watch.

anonymous asked:

hello ! if it isn't too much trouble, could you compile a list of your absolute top 5 fics ? (that you've read so far) thank you !!!

Hey, friend! Thanks so much for this request! Disclaimer: THIS WAS SO HARD TO DO BECAUSE I LOVE SO MANY FICS! But if I have to narrow it down to just *gasps* 5 fics, then here they are! These aren’t in any particular order!

Originally posted by sairenji


My Top 5 Victuuri Fics (So far!)


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya, 147k (WIP)
Rivals AU where Yuuri’s main goal, ever since he was a child, is to beat Victor and win the GPF. SO MUCH ANGST (like, so much) and deliciously hot, hot, hot! You might die from reading this… it’s that good. This is SO GOOD! Seriously, it’s better than most published novels I’ve read!!! I AM 1000000% TOO OBSESSED BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE IT’S SO AMAZINGSFLA

ebony & ivory by wbtrashking (fan_nerd), Explicit, 20k
A little longer than your average one shot, but OH MY GOD THIS FIC IS AMAZING. Yuuri, a pianist, moves into a new apartment complex to play with the ASO. Not long after he starts practicing, he starts getting requests from his mysterious upstairs neighbour. THIS FIC CLEARED MY SKIN AND SAVED MY SOUL IT’S SO SO AMAZING

The Fundamentals of Caring by braveten, Explicit, 20k
One of my favourite hurt/comfort fics! Yuuri comes down with a nasty cold and Victor tries to take care of him the best that he can. Full of hilariously delusional Yuuri, caring Victor, and ALL THE FLUFF! So cute, definitely recommend! LOOOOOVE!!!

Amateur or Expert? by Watermelonsmellinfellon, Teen, 1.9k
AU where Yuuri is a ice skating instructor and Victor is thirsty for him and will do whatever it takes for Yuuri to get to know him. Even if that means pretending to not know how to skate at all, even though he’s a five-time world champion. VERY cute, lots of fluff, and Victor is hilarious in this. I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING!

all the world’s a stage by braveten, Explicit, 112k
AU where Victor is the the most famous actor in Hollywood and Yuuri is a silver medalist at this year’s GPF… and also has a huge crush on Victor. Yuuri auditions to become his skating coach for a movie with the help of Pitchit and cuteness ensues. Fun, great writing, good plot. Lots of fluff, some angst, and a little bit of smut. SO FREAKIN’ GOOD ASHDGALSJFHGSJ