I want to preface this by saying I love the black ranger because he’s chinese and I am conditioned to immediately stan for literally any east asian character. I also loved the scenes with his mother. There were some good friendship scenes and one moment that’s just…. really well orchestrated comedy-wise, not in the gut-laughter way but like…. conceptually. Stuck in the cavern. Also at one point black ranger yells that he’s a leg and blue’s like ME TOO and they’re v enthusiastic, it’s the sort of energy that really should’ve been central to the movie. blue ranger’s pretty great & while he gets shit it *is* legit framed as bad, and I didn’t notice anything that shitty done with him, but I’m not super good at picking up on that. Yellow ranger doesn’t put everything out super clearly but 1) doesn’t deny ‘girlfriend problems’ and 2) says her parents 'doesn’t like labels’ so she might as well be doing a powerslide with the biggest possible bi flag as a cape.
okay so number one, I’m right about everything all the time. movie severely suffered from Gritty Hollywood’s Desperate Appeal To Teen And Up. The first gag was about giving a bull a hand job, so like, that’s. well. I don’t really know what else I can say about that. It also had like, grotesque (off screen) murders and jumpscares and a lot of talk about killing. They just kind of jump straight to 'oh we gotta kill rita then’ and it’s just p uncomfortable. I don’t think you can this nostalgic goofy concept and throw death around everywhere, it’s like… who is the audience for this? I wouldn’t recommend people take kids to this movie, there’s a gag about jerking off a bull and people dying. I wouldn’t recommend people who liked the original power rangers, there’s none of that campy idealistic energy.
Designs were bad. You see the suits and like, oh, that’s bad. You haven’t seen all the bad. They made the robot look……. real bad folks. I don’t know, I guess you can logic it to alien robot design not meant to appeal to humans, but it’s just. Bad. Everything’s grey and gross. The zoid whatevers literally only have shooty guns and the fight choreography is incredibly boring (but at one point everyone’s cheering each other on while they train so that was nice). The soundtrack was super generic except at one point they have the old power rangers theme and it’s so out of place yall I felt like I was split between two parallel realities and stuck in the shittier one.
This movie just takes itself way too seriously tbh. It wanted to be fun, and there are a few seconds of fun scattered throughout, but it didn’t want to be seen as a fun movie for god knows what reason. It’s really thoughtless and sometimes incredibly vindictive in a way that doesn’t make sense (pink confesses why other girls are being mean and she did a legit super shitty thing to one of them, says she feels guilty, I’m sure it was something about her being cheated on but why did she have the photo & why show it to ex bf, also sidenote the girls literally show up and say 'we’re cutting you out’ and LITERALLY brought a pair of scissors to cut a photo it was ridiculous where was I going OH YEAH anyway pink laughs when 'mean girls’ get a chunk of monster that messes up their car which 1) how did she see from so far, 2) legit danger of dying maybe not the time to be petty)
Space politics don’t make sense yall. If rita wants power why destroy the life crystal. Is she trying to destroy every one? Does destroying it give her power or does she just want to kill everyone? spoilers someone comes back to life (which is good because I was LEGITIMATELY ready to walk out of the theater) but it makes no sense and isn’t really explained except 'morphing field. only one chance. only one person apparently.’ Also there was some really intense krispy kreme product placement it was…. strange. Oh also at one point yellow & pink are goofing off at the krispy kreme and it’s real cute.
Anyway I absolutely hated this movie. It’s bad. But if I knew it was bad before going in, I would’ve watched it anyway because I’m already ride or die for blue & black & yellow so I guess I’m trapped in shit mountain. Hey @lionsgate fire your writers/directors and hire me to be in charge of power rangers I didn’t even care that much about its original run but you’re making this shitty off-brand non-toku that’s really bringing me down man it’s bad