but pu is more

A Guide to Making Up Diseases (as Explained by a Biologist)

So listen up y’all, nothing drives me crazier as both a writer and a scientist than seeing alien diseases that make no fuckin’ sense in a human body. 

If you’re talking about alien diseases in a non-human character, you can ignore all this.

But as far as alien diseases in humans go, please remember:

DISEASE SYMPTOMS ARE AN IMMUNE RESPONSE.

Fever? A response to help your immune cells function faster and more efficiently to destroy invaders.

Sore/scratchy throat? An immune response. Diseases that latch onto the epithelium of the throat (the common cold, the flu) replicate there, and your body is like “uh no fuckin’ thanks” and starts to slough off those cells in order to stop the replication of new virus in its tracks. So when it feels like your throat is dying? guess what it literally is. And the white spots you see with more severe bacterial infections are pus accumulation, which is basically dead white blood cells, and the pus is a nice and disgusting way of getting that shit outta here.

(No one really knows why soreness and malaise happens, but some scientists guess that it’s a byproduct of immune response, and others suspect that it’s your body’s way of telling you to take it easy)

headache? usually sinus pressure (or dehydration, which isn’t an immune response but causes headaches by reducing blood volume and causing a general ruckus in your body, can be an unfortunate side effect of a fever) caused by mucous which is an immune response to flush that nasty viral shit outta your face.

Rashes? an inflammatory response. Your lymphocytes see a thing they don’t like and they’re like “hEY NOW” and release a bunch of chemicals that tell the cells that are supposed to kill it to come do that. Those chemicals cause inflammation, which causes redness, heat, and swelling. They itch because histamine is a bitch.

fatigue? your body is doing a lot–give it a break!

here is a fact:

during the Spanish 1918 Plague, a very strange age group succumbed to the illness. The very young and very old were fine, but people who were seemingly healthy and in the prime of life (young adults) did not survive. This is because that virus triggered an immune response called a cytokine storm, which basically killed everything in sight and caused horrific symptoms like tissue death, vasodilation and bleeding–basically a MASSIVE inflammatory response that lead to organ damage and death. Those with the strongest immune systems took the worst beating by their own immune responses, while those with weaker immune systems were fine.

So when you’re thinking of an alien disease, think through the immune response.

Where does this virus attack? Look up viruses that also attack there and understand what the immune system would do about it. 

Understand symptoms that usually travel together–joint pain and fever, for example.

So please, please: no purple and green spotted diseases. No diseases that cause glamorous fainting spells and nothing else. No mystical eye-color/hair-color changing diseases. If you want these things to happen, use magic or some shit or alien physiology, but when it’s humans, it doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense. 

This has been a rant and I apologize for that. 

moar death note sketch dump (since nobody asked haha), including drama!verse

STAN SHINEE - A MASTERPOST

HELLO! i’ve met some people who have wanted to stan shinee, and asked for information on them, so i decided to make this huge post for anyone who wants to know more about shinee and/or potentially stan!!! all are welcome!!!

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Don’t touch her

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so sorry for any mistakes!

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x reader

Word count: 1950

warnings: Just fluff!

Originally posted by riverdalebish

(Y/N)’s life wasn’t very complicated. She had nice friends, she was beautiful and had good grades. It was a friday night, what meant part night. She was on her way to a party from a friend with her friend (Y/F/N). The door opened when they arrived, their friend welcoming them.

“(Y/N)! (Y/F/N) Come in!” their friend said. They both hugged her and walked inside the house. The music was already playing loud, and people were dancing enthusiastically. They greeted a few people and walked to the food table, obviously.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” (Y/F/N) asked. (Y/N) grabbed a drink and turned around, looking at the crowd.

“Just have fun I guess” She said laughing.

“Noo you know what I mean!” (Y/F/N) returned laughing too. “I’m talking about boys”

“I don’t know” (Y/N) said, still scanning the crowd. Her eyes landed on Reggie Mantle for a moment, and his eyes found hers. They looked at eachother for one second, but then he looked away. She sighed. (Y/N) knew him from school, but never actually talked him. . They had a few friends in common, so they did knew each other a little bit. But he was popular, and she was just normal. But still she always searched for his eyes in the crowd, without an explainable reason.

“Just go after him, or come dance with me” (Y/F/N) said, she clearly noticed the eye-contact. (Y/N) laughed and followed her friend to the dance floor. She pushed al her thoughts away and focused on swaying her hips on the beat of the music.


Hours later (Y/N) was still on the dancefloor, dancing with her friends. She was exhausted and decided to get a drink to gain more energy. She pushed herself through the crowd and walked to the food table, finding the one and only Chuck there. The moment she saw him she turned around, but he already saw her.

“Hey (Y/N), having fun?” he asked, smirking.

“yeah off course, you?” she answered.

“I’m good” he said. (Y/N) felt the awkwardness and wanted to leave badly.

“I’m going to my friends” she said, and she walked away. She joined her friends again, getting a look from (Y/F/N)

“You okay?” she asked, and she nodded. Wanting to forget about the conversation, she focused on the dancing. The music played loud and there were sweating bodies everywhere. Everyone stood close to each other, so she didn’t really paid attention to who was standing next to her.

In all of a sudden, (Y/N) felt hands on her waist. The person stood behind her so she didn’t know who it was, but she put the hands away. But a few seconds later, the hands grabbed her waist again. She turned around, and saw Chuck. A look full of disgust formed on her face and she pushed him away.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked. He had a little smirk at his face and scanned her body, what made her even more upset. She was about to tell him he had to keep his dirty little hands to himself, when someone shoved him away. Chuck almost fell but kept his balance, thanks to the person who shoved him. (Y/N) looked, and saw Reggie standing there. A warm feeling formed in her stomach, and she mentally thanked him.

She looked closely at his face, and saw pure hate. Chuck really pissed Reggie off with just touching her, and that made her blush.

“Don’t touch her” he said angry. Chuck looked upset for a minute, but then he started laughing.

“relax dude” he said, “I wasn’t doing anything” . Reggie tensed, and walked up to him for one more time.

“Just- leave her alone. I-I”  he said, and left. (Y/N) stayed behind open-eyed. Chuck looked one more time at her, and then he left too. She turned back to her friends, they all looked worried.

“I’m okay, just dance” she said, and her friends mumbled “okay”.


“Come on people, we’re playing seven minutes in heaven!” (Y/N) heard someone say. People were gathering and sitting in a circle, and (Y/N) sat down too.

“The rules are simple, I’m gonna flip the bottle, and the person it points to goes in the closet with someone we choose” someone explained, and some people cheered. “Here we go” she said, and she spinned the battle. It seemed like the bottle spinned forever, but after seconds it landed on… Reggie. Off course. His friends patted his shoulders and cheered for him, while he put his head in his hands.

“So, who is going with him?” many names were called, until someone yelled “(Y/N)!”

She shook her head, but many people agreed. Someone behind her pushed her up, and a stranger held open the door of the closet. (Y/N) walked into the closet followed by Reggie.

“Start the seven minutes, now!” The stranger said, and she closed the door.

“Well, i expected a bigger closet” (Y/N) thought. They stood very close near each other, She could hear his breath. After a minute she spoke, breaking the silence.

“I never got a chance to say thank you” she said, looking at him, “For what you did” . He looked at her.

“It’s fine” he said, and he looked down at his hands. She sighed. He couldn’t even look at her for more than 2 seconds.

“He is a dick” she said. A little grin escaped his mouth and he looked up at her again.

“He totally is”

“Why did you help me?” she asked, but he stayed quiet. “I don’t know you very well”

“I just-” He sighed, “When I saw him touching you, I couldn’t stand it. He has no right to touch you and he should keep his hands by himself. You are too good for him”

(Y/N) looked at him with an open mouth. Did Reggie Mantle just say that? It couldn’t be.

“Do you really think that?” she asked, a little smile forming on her face.

“I do” he said looking at her. Now she smiled broadly.

“Thank you” she said, while she stept a step closer to him. He looked into her eyes, and then he fell. He fell in love with the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy, the way she looked strong but also vulnerable. He had seen her many times, but never really talked to her. And now he regretted that.

He realised this, and laid his hand on her cheek. The other hand went around her neck, and she hold her breath. She felt his breath on her skin, their lips almost brushing. She looked into his wide, dark eyes. And in a matter of moments, his lips were melting with hers, creating an explosion. Her hands landed on his chest, while he was still holding her face softly. The kiss was not rough, or heated, but it was sweat, tender.

They both pulled away slightly, catching their breath. Reggie lowered his hands to her waist and smiled down at her. She grinned, and his eyebrows rose.

“what?” he whispered, since their faces were still close.

“I thought you didn’t like people holding my waist” she whispered back.

“Only if it’s me” he said, a smirk on his face. She lowered her head, now leaning on his chest. She heard his heartbeat, and wished this moment would last forever. But then they heard a knock on the door, and knew the seven minutes were over. She sighed, and let go of his touch. Just before she opened the door, Reggie grabbed her hand. She looked over her shoulder, smiled at him and opened the door. Thankfully, everyone had gone back to dancing, so not more than a few eyes lay on the couple. They walked a few steps, but Reggie pulled (Y/N) to him.

“Do you want to come home with me after this?” he asked, smiling.

“I’d like that” she said, and Reggie rubbed her hand sweetly. But shouts from his friends interrupted their moment, and he let go of her hand. He smiled, but then turned to friends.

(Y/N) brought her fingers to where his breath lingered on her lips, and it felt good.


At the end of the party, while (Y/N) was grabbing her jacket she felt hands on her waist. She turned around and in front of her stood Reggie.

“Hey there” she said.

“Hey” he smiled, “So are you coming?” She nodded.

“Are your friends coming?” she asked, while he searched for his coat.

“No it’s just us” she smiled. they said their goodbye’s and walked outside, holding each other’s hands.


Reggie stepped out of Reggie’s car and he followed her.They walked to the front door, still holding hands, and he opened it. He let her in and she walked through the door, the warmth of the house prickling on her skin. He takes her jacket and she walked in the living room, scanning her surroundings.

“well, this is where I live” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“It’s very nice” she said.

“Do you want to see my room?”

“Off course” she said, and she followed his lead. They walked upstairs and he opened a door, and they went inside. The room was filled with nice furniture, and a very large bed. It was a bit messy, but what else can you expect from a boy’s room.

“I like” she said, and while turning around she got attacked by his lips.

The warm feeling in her stomach rose again and she put her arms around his neck while his went around her waist. He guided her to his bed slowly, their lips still touching. (Y/N)’s back hit the mattress, and Reggie straddled above her.

He slowly broke the kiss, and layed down next to her. He put a bit of her behind her ear and she smiled.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked, now smiling too.

“Nothing, I just never thought i would lay in bed with you in bed one day”

“Well, you were wrong” he said, and kissed her one more time.

“Why did we never talk before?” he whispered creating a little distance between their lips, and she smiled.

“I don’t know” she said.

“Remember (Y/F/N)’s party last year?”

“Yeah off course, it was amazing”

“I wanted to ask you out then, but I didn’t had enough courage.”

“Why? I would’ve said yes!”

“You would?”

“Off course, you dumbass!” and with that said, he kissed her again.

The two talked the whole night. They brought up memories, and laughed about each other’s jokes.

“Hey” he said hours later, and he tilted her chin so she looked at him, “I just wanted you to know that I like you a lot, and I want to be with you” he said. (Y/N) put her hand on his chest and leaned forward, connecting her lips with is.

“Me too” she said, and Reggie pulled her in a kiss one more time. When they pulled away, (Y/N) yawned. Reggie gave her some clothes to sleep in, and she thanked him. She changed in his bathroom and when she got out she got eyes from Reggie.

“That looks good on you” He said, smirking. (Y/N) joined him under his blankets and Reggie turned off the lights. Reggie put his hands on her waist and pulled her close to him. He exhaled her scent and lost himself in her embrace. (Y/N) knew from that moment, she would not let him go.

Mistakes Made

Yoongi Scenario

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of cheating, Angsty, A lil’ bit of crying.

Words: 2.2K

Summary: Yoongi got an unexpected text from a stranger claiming you cheated on him.

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by iloveyoo-ngi


He knew he’d been more than busy lately. Spent his late nights at the studio or practise away from you. It’d been a few months and he knew working for so long on this comeback had put a strain on the relationship. Though he thought you were understanding of that and had decided to give him some space.

His mind had gone blank when he found out you were cheating. By the asshole you had cheated on him with, to add on to his humiliation.

The man had texted him with a plethora of screenshots exposing your infidelity, simply ending with a disgusting text ‘Your girls isn’t as faithful huh? I would know”

Keep reading

Autumn Sweaters

Summary: After a morning disaster, you decide to check in on an injured erumpent. Unfortunately, your day seems to be filled with disasters. Fortunately, Newt is there to help with them.

Word Count: 2,105

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requests are currently open! Feel free to send one in


As a child, you’d never imagined you’d get to stroke the side of an erumpent and not fear any danger. Though you loved all creatures and decided by the age of 7 to become a magizoologist, your father had protested any interest in any even slightly dangerous creatures. You’d met your fair share of bowtruckles, demiguises, and, to your chagrin, injured owls but never an erumpent. So, when, on your trip, Newt asked you to help him examine an erumpent that seemed to be limping, you jumped at the chance.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, Newt.” You tap your foot, already impatient with how long it will take to clean up the breakfast dishes. If only he had said something earlier. You would have cooked far less than the buffet sitting in front of the two of you.

“It’s dangerous.”

Newt laughs at your huff. “I know it’s dangerous, but this is possibly a once in a lifetime chance and I do not plan to let it get away from me.”

“Alright, alright.” He set his fork down, reaching for his napkin as he opens his mouth to say something else.

Pickett, though, startles at the sound of the fork clinking against the plate. The bowtruckle reels backwards, tripping over the napkin behind it. Its small frame smacks into your glass of water, sending the glass tumbling over. Water floods the table, rushing toward you in a wave and flying over the edge before you can even stand.

Keep reading

not without a fight.

Guard 1: are you alright Sire? you really pushed yourself at the reveal last night

Papa Zero: *nods*

Guard 2: are you sure?

Papa Zero: *waves hand*

Guard 2: alright, we’ll stop asking questions

Guard 1: I’ll be right back, I need to call the clinic for another tank for you. looks like you’re getting low.

Papa Zero: *nods eagerly*

Guard 1: *leaves*

Guard 2: is there anything you need before I leave as well, Sire?

Papa Zero: *takes oxygen mask off* ……..p…….p……puh…..

Guard 2: yes? what is it?

Papa Zero: …..pu…p-

Guard 2: more pudding?

Papa Zero: *nods exasperated* *puts oxygen mask back on*

Guard 2: of course, right away.

*glass breaks*

Guard 1: *returns* what was that?

Guard 2: !!!!!!

me: *falls from the ceiling*

Guard 1: what the HELL.

Papa Zero: *is blind* *looking around aimlessly*

me: WHATS UP YA FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT.

Guard 2: dear Satan GET HER OUT. NOW.

Guard 1: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE.

me: IM SPIDER BITCH.

me: *rips oxygen mask away* YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST PLUCK PAPA III FROM THE STAGE WITH NO CONSEQUENCE.

Papa Zero: *gasping*

me: *wraps cord around his neck*

me: OL WRINKLY ASS BITCH. STUPID ANCIENT HOE.

Papa Zero: *sputtering/coughing*

me: HE DID NOTHING WRONG. NOTHING. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM.

*security marches in*

OUT. OUT. NOW.

me: * hands and wrists get bound*

Guard 1: take her to the chamber!!

me: aww boo hoo. the fuck you gonn do, “Pit and the Pendulum” my ass you medieval fucks? I dont give a SHIT if it means Papa III gets to come BACK.

I WILL BE A MARTYR FOR THE CAUSE.

Guard 2: away with them. AWAY!!

*security hauls me off*

me: this ain’t the last you’ve seen of me!! I’ll be back!!!

CTHULU IS WAITIN FOR YOUR SCOLIOSIS ASS IN THE OCEAN YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

anonymous asked:

since you're taking prompts now...how about a eremika friends with benefits au! where they slowly start falling for each other. ;)

stay awake // ff.net / ao3

After an entire adolescence of friendship with Sasha, it took a lot to make Mikasa raise her eyebrows. The twenty year old Ackerman had been through a lot beside her exuberant friend’s side; from their first school dance as nervous 8th graders, to the Great Beauty Pageant Debacle of their senior year, Sasha’s antics had done nothing if not make Mikasa hard to surprise. Which was why, when said best friend beat down her door at ten thirty on a Wednesday night to declare,

“Find your vest, it’s chilly out and we are going to that strip joint on 7th!”

Mikasa only shrugged one shoulder and complied.

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Human: Four

Originally posted by nochujungkookie

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six

Pairing: Jungkook x reader [feat: Taehyung, Yoongi, and Namjoon]
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Future Smut. Ability!AU Scifi!AU
Word Count: 2.9k

“what is it like to even be human?”

All Jungkook could remember were the events that was being unfolded right in front of him, everything else being untraceable. Being forced into a war he wasn’t even aware that was happening, being paired up with Taehyung and Yoongi during this ‘war’. They were pushed into this, being forced to kill the unknown enemy, relying on their so called abilities to keep them safe. Many questions were left unanswered, that was until he met you. More questions raised up, more confusion being added, and only a few things being answered. How can you tell the difference between human, and non-human?

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vardasvapors  asked:

Fingolfin, Horses anticipating a storm.

The smell of sweet grass charring in the meadows did not discomfort them overmuch. 

There was some nickering and stomping of hooves, and young Celil, who had always been flighty, sucked air and gnawed at her stable door, but for the most part their discipline held. 

All but the youngest colts were veterans and the eldest had seen darkness fall in the West, had crossed the great salt wastes of the sea in the wooden bellies of swans, screamed and danced at their picket lines as they burnt upon the shore. They had starved around a poisoned lake, been traded away for forgiveness of a feud, and dashed out orcish brains with the panicked flailing of their hooves. 

They had been bred for hunting and the drawing of carts and carriages long ago in a brighter country, and in the depths of their great, dark eyes, the light of dead trees shone yet. 

They had been trained for war, and their glossy hides were striped white with the scars of spears and arrows and the tearing fangs of wargs. Now when they trampled foes beneath their hooves, it was not in panic. 

Ard-Galen burned and the horses of the Noldor flared their nostrils and paced their stalls. 

Ard-Galen burned and the High King came among them. 

He did not stop to pet the soft noses thrust at him, nor did he offer Rochallor his usual tribute of apple slices. He did not speak words of praise or comfort as he tightened the girth or slid the bit into his horse’s mouth. 

They smelt the fires upon him, and fury like the air before the white-hot crack of lightning, and madness like the seep of pus from a wound. The king stank of despair and that more than the distant roar of flame or the ash upon the breeze put fear in them. 

The High King rode out and behind him in the stables, the horses began to scream. 

daughterofdungeonbat  asked:

Hiya! I'm writing some fanfiction of an historical series and need an older man in really great physical condition to be basically taken out of commission. Currently, I have him getting shot in the shoulderblade with an arrow. This leads to a period of fever and delirium, and long-term pain and limited mobility in the arm due to muscle trauma. Does this seem acceptable?

Hey there @daughterofdungeonbat

The only problem I have with this scenario is the fever, and only because you don’t have the other symptoms of infection. 

Infection is a strong likelihood of his wound, if it’s not cleaned and cared for very well. All good. But fever is the symptom of a systemic infection. For that to happen, he needs a local infection first. 

The wound would get hot, would start smelling and weeping pus, and the dressings might need changed more frequently. Then, after a day or two, the systemic fever can set in. 

The faster and better the wound is cleaned out, the shorter the fever will be

Hope that helps! 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

[disclaimer]

Patreon: a magical land where the ask box never closes. Care to visit?  

Ebook for Free! 10 BS “Medical” Tropes that Need to Die TODAY!

anonymous asked:

Lmaooo Onision made a video saying he has Rosacea and a back tumor that he self diagnosed with webmd probably. 😂 I can't with this guy. Now he even thinks he's smarter then needing a doctors opinion? It could be cancerous or it could also easily be a cyst. Who suspects they have a tumor and doesn't go to the doctor!?

Actually, let’s dissect this a bit. I wanted to make a post about this, so I’ll just turn this into that post.

Here’s the video he talks about it in.

Things to note about the video:

  • Greg isn’t alarmed about these issues. He mentions that he suspected this for awhile, minus the rosacea (which he didn’t pronounce right). He does, however, stress the point that he can’t do certain things because he wants a clear complexion (which is true). What upsets him the most is that he can’t have a clear complexion.
  • Greg’s also just like “oh by the way, it’s not REALLY a disease and all I have is a fat tumor”. Yeah, could’ve responded like that the first time and not freaked all your fans out. That was a dick move.

I actually suspected Greg had rosacea for awhile as I work for a skincare company and we have a lot of people come in seeking relief and I have a very small case of it. I get small, red acne all through my cheeks and nose area and sometimes they become cystic.

Rosacea is a skin disease that is considered incurable, but it can go away on it’s own and there’s lots of different ways to treat it. Sometimes you get cystic (pus filled) acne from it which is nasty. It can be noticeable, and painful, and embarrassing for some people.

So let’s look at Greg. I grabbed these images from another video (it’s youtube fired me or one of those rant videos).

And now some from his most recent video talking about it and showing off the areas:

So in these two instances, you can see it flaring up badly and it subsided.

Now, lets look at people with rosacea:

These are obviously less severe cases.

Do I think Greg is lying about having rosacea? No. I believe he did contact a dermatologist about it because he’s incredibly vain about his appearance. In the video he even mentions that people make fun of his skin. It’s an incredibly common issues, so I really don’t think he’s lying or that he has reason to lie. Again, for someone as vain as him, saying he has a skin issue would be embarrassing and not something he’d lie about in my opinion. I think he’d lie about something he could gain more sympathy out of. 

As for the tumor…

Here are some photos of Greg pointing it out. While he’s standing straight, it’s virtually invisible.

When he bends over, it’s visible.

Here’s what fat tumors look like:

So what Greg says is it’s a fat tumor. It’s not a cancerous tumor, it’s just excess tissue growth. It can happen to anyone no matter their health, weight, sex, age, though it does occur more so in middle aged people. A lot of people don’t even bother getting them treated. Think of dogs. This happens to dogs all the time.

Do I think Greg is lying? No. Do I think it’s a fat tumor? Probably but I’m also not a doctor. Did Greg probably self diagnose himself? Yes.

Honestly, I’m not super interested in trying to diagnose him or say what else it could be. It really does seem like a fat tumor that happened because he’s getting older. It’s not proven, but doctors think that it can happen more to inactive people which would make sense considering Greg’s ‘job’. You can also be predisposed to it because genetics.

For your comment of ‘who suspects a tumor and doesn’t go to the doctor’ and mentioning that it could be a cyst:

  • Greg just doesn’t go the doctor. It’s really stupid. It could be cancerous, but I think he’d notice more symptoms by now and fat tumors are pretty unique from other tumors. I’m sure by now he’s gone to the doctor.
  • As for the possibility of it being a cyst, if Greg’s had it for awhile and it hasn’t become more agitated, red, and pus filled, I think it’s probably not a cyst.

Anyways, I’m not a doctor, but these are my thoughts on the whole ordeal. He’s just being a drama queen which makes it unbelievable.

Either way:

Fat tumors: usually benign and nothing to worry about

Rosacea: sucks ass but wont kill you. Also easy to get under control and his case doesn’t look severe.

- E

2

(so the construction is finished from all of the flood damage and I yet again have access to my sewing and needle felting stuff. I finished up this little guy to get back into the groove of working on plushes. Have a huge list of things I’m super behind on now thanks to the absolute mess my life has been lately. AHHH)

but that blahblah aside, here, have a Karkat grub. Further proof that I never get to keep a single Karkat I make.

 You wanna know about my thumb do ya boy? Intrigue you does it boy? My thumb? Let me tell you about it. I come from a long line of hitchhikers. All with bleedin’ massive thumbs. You see the thumb is a tremendous boon to the hitchhiker. Helps with work. You know what I mean? The only problem was, when I was a child, my thumb was tiny. Not just tiny like a single sugar puff. Disgusting. Even me own mother would reel back in horror. Like an anaconda. “OHH what is it? Get it out of here! It’s tiny! It’s ‘orrible! It’s revolting! Take your tiny thumb, and get out of here and never darken my door again,” she’d say. I had to leave the family unit, in search of a miracle. I wandered the streets, looking for the answer. And people told me of a magic shaman, part man part hornet. So I went looking for ‘im. I went everywhere! I combed the universe, in search of the stripey insect shaman. Turns out he was in a local primary school, in the bin, reeling about with the apple cores, like they do. And I stood there, with my thumb out, and he stung it! And he stung it! And he grabbed onto it! It was like he was making love to it wiv his sting.
In and out! In and out! More and more! Ohhh the pus! The pain! The black voodoo! The wet jigsaw puzzle! I didn’t know what was happening! Ohhh for days I was in a trance! But when I came to, there it was! Like a fleshy maraca! A THUMB, of gigantic proportion. “A miracle!” I said, “A miracle! You’re a true wizard! How can I ever repay ya?” and he said to me “Five hundred euros”. “FIVE HUNDRED EUROS? You won’t see penny one from me you slag!” And as I raised my thumb up, to smash his tiny skull in, I could see in his little insect face, I could see him thinking “OHHH, I created that monster! I created that thumb, and now it’s killing me! My own beast and creation! Killing me dead! The sweet irony.” I think he was saying that, although it was a long time ago, and in hindsight, he could’ve just been shitting himself.

4

Just some Neighborhood AU doodles to pass the time… mostly Unstoppable Nerd Force: Jeff and Loid. I like to imagine somewhere along the way “Apple Kid” was shortened to “A-K” and eventually, with Ness’s help, “AK-47.”

Also Lucas and Ness like the same fighting game and that’s how they became friends. Pu is a Cool Older Kid who also hangs out at the arcade??

oloane  asked:

For the face meme o3o Lance (from voltron) with 2B and eventually if you wish (not forced to) Keith, with 2C <3<3

I GOTCHU GIRL (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚