but pronouns are hard

i understand that it is hard to switch pronouns when u arent used to it but if you have a friend who comes out as trans please try your hardest to avoid misgendering them
being misgendered can be so exhausting & can have such negative effects on trans people’s mental health please try your hardest to get our pronouns right

9

What Cis People Say To Trans People Vs. What We Hear

By Meredith Talusan and Rory Midhani

TRANSlator 3000: Amazing technology translates cissexist BS!

“Oh you’re trans but you look so good!”
“Trans people are ugly.”

“I’ve never met a trans person before.”
“I assume I can identify any trans person.”

“I would date a trans person.”
“Trans people are usually undateable so I deserve a prize.” 

“You look just like a real woman.”
“Trans women aren’t really women.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me about being trans.”
“Trans people who don’t tell me they’re trans are deceivers and liars.”

“I loooooove trans people!”
“I fetishize trans people.”

“It’s so hard to switch pronouns.”
“Trans people are an inconvenience to me.”

“I don’t have a problem with trans people.”
“I have a problem with trans people.” 

BOOK REC (Sci-Fi with PoC and wlw)

Why you should read The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers:

  • IT HAS A HUGE EMPHASIS ON FOUND FAMILY and also on moving forward and how you sometimes need different people at different stages of your life
  • The alien cultures, man, they are like nothing I’ve ever seen before on this scale. It’s not just surface stuff, it’s down to the belief systems and social interactions and how they view things like motherhood and violence and even board games! Also, FEMALE ALIENS WITHOUT BREASTS WHO ARE CONSIDERED VERY ATTRACTIVE TO HUMANS CAN I GET A HELL YEAH
  • Gender and sexuality are definitely way more fluid, one of the crew members is a species that changes gender across their lifetime (plus there is a crew member that goes by they pronouns, though not exactly in a nb way, it’s hard to explain)
  • Imagine Firefly, except in a universe full of aliens like Guardians of the Galaxy, and the crew aren’t criminals (for the most part) and are just generally a bit nicer. And by nicer I mean, as someone else more eloquent than me said about this book “they’re not all good people, but most of them are trying to be”. They care about each other despite all the cultural differences that sometimes have them screaming
  • most of the humans on the crew are not white
  • TWO FEMALE MEMBERS OF THE CREW BECOME A COUPLE I’m not gonna say which because it totally took me by surprise and that was an incredible thing cos I already adored this book and then it gave me the one thing it was missing that I hadn’t dared hope for 
  • polyamory is discussed frequently and is a base part of one of the alien cultures and it’s very normalised and respected
  • seriously everyone does their hardest to be respectful of each other’s culture and all the differences and even though sometimes they fail or really struggle they really TRY and that’s what makes it so great
  • the book is genuinely hilarious (“What do your crazy speciests do?” “Live on gated farms and have private orgies.” “How is that any different than what the rest of you do?” “We don’t have gates and anybody can come to our orgies.”)
  • there’s plot but it’s very character driven in a way that works really well
  • Kizzy - my favourite character who is just a joy (imagine Kaylee Frye if she was Chinese, hyped up on extreme amounts of caffeine, and totally eccentric)
  • REALLY AMAZING PLATONIC MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
  • like seriously every damn relationship in this book is so incredible and important and well done
  • I’ve never done a book rec on here before and the fact that I feel the need to do this should in itself say something about how amazing it is

In summary: 

  • SPACE GIRLFRIENDS NEED I SAY MORE
  • amazing and compelling alien cultures
  • a crew/found family that are so beautiful in their differences and how they do their best to respect and accommodate them
  • it’s really fucking funny
  • “Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.” “What causes the other ten percent?” “Natural disasters.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to be misgendered because your pronouns are “too hard.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to be dead-named because your real name is “too different.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to have your gender invalidated because it’s “too new.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to suffer exorsexism because others can’t find it in themselves to learn or respect you.


You can be understood, and you have every right to live the way you wish.

You deserve to have a place in this world.

things cis people say

“wait ur nonbinary? I thought you were trans!”
“But using your pronouns are hard!!”
“Cis is a slur!!!”
“I hate those trans people who always make a fuss!”
“Is that a man or a woman? *uses it/its*”
“I’m alright with trans people, I just hate those fake genders”
*Insert 500 transphobic jokes*
“They’re just jokes oh my god! You’re so sensitive”
“Lmao men in dresses are so funny”
“But what if a man says he’s a woman and sneaks into the bathroom to assault people”
“you’re pretty cute for a trans man/woman”
“which bathroom do you use”
“what’s in your pants”
“are u pre op?”
“How do you have sex?”
“so technically you’re a (insert assigned gender)”
“So she- well, she thinks she’s a boy but I’ve known her for a long time so it’s okay”
“I’ve never met a trans before !!”
"i can misgender you cos you’re a cunt”
“you’re not even trans”
“But you don’t look trans!”
“I wouldn’t date a trans, I’m just not attracted to them”
“i identify as a dog LOL !!!”
“transgendered”
“down with trans”
“Cisphobia is just as bad as transphobia”
“how can you hate someone just for being transphobic?”
“down with cis is harmful”
“dysphoria cant be that bad”
“down with hate”
“I’m not transphobic my sister’s friend’s cousin’s nephew is trans!”
“You transgenders will say anything’s transphobic”
“im not transphobic i thought i was trans 
"are you sure you’re not just butch?”
“you’re too young to know your’re trans!”
“you’re too old to know you’re trans!”
“why is being trans suddenly a trend?”
”*t-slur*“
"i can say that i have a trans friend”
“this is (birthname) she thinks she’s a boy!”
“oh she’s playing dress up”
“i’ve never dated a trans but i’m up for experimenting”
“i can say that i have a trans friend”

Yesterday my mom, my 5 year old nephew and i were hanging out, and my mom kept constantly using female pronouns and calling me by my birth-name. 

finally my nephew interrupted her to say, 

“He wants to be called Ben. He’s a boy now. You can’t call him a girl if he’s a boy.” 

and right after that, she started using my pronouns and name correctly. i guess it kind of hits you hard when a 5 year old child calls you out, cause anytime i’d try to correct her she’d keep making the excuse, “It’s hard, I’m trying.” 

i am so proud of my nephew, i shit you not.

anonymous asked:

Me: hey Complete stranger: sorry I keep messing up your pronouns.... it's just so hard to switch you know I've always known you as a girl ever since birth...... it's just so hard.... you will always be my little girl...

KdkzjxkJDKXJAKCJSKC PLS

Respecting gender identities and “they/them” pronouns really isn’t that hard.

Letting transgender people use the bathroom in peace really isn’t that hard.

Accepting that asexual/aromantic people exist and don’t need to be “fixed” really isn’t that hard.

Not calling bisexuals “confused”, “greedy”, or “just a closeted gay/lesbian” really isn’t that hard.

Not asking the openly gay boy at school if he wants to go shopping and get his nails done because of a stereotype really isn’t that hard.

Not killing off the only characters we can identify with really isn’t that hard.

Not spreading rumors that the lesbian girl you know tried to sleep with you even though you are straight really isn’t that hard.

you don’t have to go out of your way to make us feel at home all you have to do is treat us with the respect that we deserve

3

it’s a hard-knock life

bonus:

@all my fellow bigender beauties

bigender friends who keep doubting themselves, you are valid and so is your identity
bigender friends who are sure about their identity, your courage to keep being yourselves is so admirable
bigender friends who feel like there arent any pronouns that suit them, i know that its so hard to find something youre comfortable with when everything feels like it refers only to a part of your identity and not whole you
bigender friends who found just the right pronouns, im happy for you and i hope that everyone you know will respect your choice

bigender friends, you are all gifts to this world and i hope youre having a safe day