2017 needs to be the year that cis people stop complaining about how hard a trans person’s transition is for them. it’s not always easy to remember a new name or to adjust to using different pronouns, but i can guarantee that if you think the transition is hard, it’s a hell of a lot harder for the person actually transitioning, and i want to see more cis people being mindful of that instead of making the situation about themselves and their own feelings
Red flags to look 4 if ur a trans person dating a cis
• telling everybody your name but ur partner asking “I can still call u [dead name] right???”
• when taking about dysphoria and surgery and they say “don’t get x removed, I don’t wanna lose the boy/girl I fell in love with”
• talks shit on nb genders
• has a fetish for only afab/amab ppl and defends it when u say it’s gross
• respects every other trans persons prounous and name except yours
• “it’s just so hard to use x pronouns and ur name:((((”
Why you should read The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers:
IT HAS A HUGE EMPHASIS ON FOUND FAMILY and also on moving forward and how you sometimes need different people at different stages of your life
The alien cultures, man, they are like nothing I’ve ever seen before on this scale. It’s not just surface stuff, it’s down to the belief systems and social interactions and how they view things like motherhood and violence and even board games! Also, FEMALE ALIENS WITHOUT BREASTS WHO ARE CONSIDERED VERY ATTRACTIVE TO HUMANS CAN I GET A HELL YEAH
Gender and sexuality are definitely way more fluid, one of the crew members is a species that changes gender across their lifetime (plus there is a crew member that goes by they pronouns, though not exactly in a nb way, it’s hard to explain)
Imagine Firefly, except in a universe full of aliens like Guardians of the Galaxy, and the crew aren’t criminals (for the most part) and are just generally a bit nicer. And by nicer I mean, as someone else more eloquent than me said about this book “they’re not all good people, but most of them are trying to be”. They care about each other despite all the cultural differences that sometimes have them screaming
most of the humans on the crew are not white
TWO FEMALE MEMBERS OF THE CREW BECOME A COUPLE I’m not gonna say which because it totally took me by surprise and that was an incredible thing cos I already adored this book and then it gave me the one thing it was missing that I hadn’t dared hope for
polyamory is discussed frequently and is a base part of one of the alien cultures and it’s very normalised and respected
seriously everyone does their hardest to be respectful of each other’s culture and all the differences and even though sometimes they fail or really struggle they really TRY and that’s what makes it so great
the book is genuinely hilarious (“What do your crazy speciests do?” “Live on gated farms and have private orgies.” “How is that any different than what the rest of you do?”“We don’t have gates and anybody can come to our orgies.”)
there’s plot but it’s very character driven in a way that works really well
Kizzy - my favourite character who is just a joy (imagine Kaylee Frye if she was Chinese, hyped up on extreme amounts of caffeine, and totally eccentric)
REALLY AMAZING PLATONIC MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
like seriously every damn relationship in this book is so incredible and important and well done
I’ve never done a book rec on here before and the fact that I feel the need to do this should in itself say something about how amazing it is
SPACE GIRLFRIENDS NEED I SAY MORE
amazing and compelling alien cultures
a crew/found family that are so beautiful in their differences and how they do their best to respect and accommodate them
it’s really fucking funny
“Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.”“What causes the other ten percent?”“Natural disasters.”
I don’t know the show at all. It is definitely not my usual genre. No one does any science or magic, you know? It’s a fast-paced businessy financey drama thing. I don’t even remember how I found out, but when I heard that Billions claimed to have the first ever nonbinary character on TV… well, to be honest, I kinda did a skeptical face. The articles are all very US-centric, and explicitly nonbinary characters are not uncommon in some parts of the world. And anyway, “nonbinary character” usually means “gender non-conforming binary character” because that’s usually the best we can hope for. But yeah, I was interested, so I looked into it.
Here’s my TL;DR:Billions is the first mainstream US TV show to my knowledge that contains a character overtly described as nonbinary and whose they/them pronouns are stated in the show and affirmed by almost all of the other characters.
We’re introduced to Taylor, played by Asia Kate Dillon (also nonbinary, they/them pronouns), in the first episode of season 2 - toying with another character about being vegan. They’re a sharp, brilliant, think-outside-the-box intern.
In episode 2 it gets a bit more in-your-face:
That guy in the second shot, Bobby Axelrod, is the very rich, very arrogant boss of macho boy’s club Axe Capital. And he just accepts Taylor’s assertion of their pronouns, no questions asked, no raised eyebrows. Just, “okay.”
Taylor proceeds to seriously impress the very rich arrogant boss guy in the chair.
Taylor isn’t going through some coming out plot, working out their gender and discovering themself. Taylor is out and comfortable and confident in their identity. People who refuse to accept them get bulldozed, either by other characters or by the plot itself.
Later in that episode there’s a scene in which Taylor isn’t present, and Taylor is misgendered by that bald guy, Bill:
It’s hard to capture the tone in this scene. It’s an alpha male showdown, over a nonbinary person’s pronouns. The arrogant guy who misgenders Taylor gets corrected, and then has two guys above him in the pecking order stare him down until he concedes, in body language and facial expression. Taylor’s rich white old guy boss is not gonna tolerate you misgendering them. (Over the next few episodes it becomes clear that Taylor is replacing Bill as Axelrod’s “favourite.”)
Bobby Axelrod upholds the pronouns of every singular-they nonbinary person in this one scene, to everyone watching the show. After that the conversation continues as before. It all happens very naturally as part of a conversational plot to take down a business rival, like it’s important and yet no big deal at all to correct a colleague’s pronouns.
There are people watching this who are nonbinary and going “wow, that’s me.” There are nonbinary people who haven’t worked themselves out watching this and going “wow, maybe that’s me?” There are parents of nonbinary kids watching this and going, “wow, maybe using new pronouns isn’t so hard? Maybe my child is not just going through a phase?” There are nonbinary kids watching this with their parents, thinking “maybe now my parents see Taylor being taken seriously they will take me more seriously.”
This is incredible.
Naturally, I have concerns. I’ve got them on the back-burner because one TV show is not a pattern among TV shows. It does, however, fit a known trend of nonbinary visibility.
Taylor is white, AFAB, thin, young, wealthy, able-bodied, and masculine-presenting. They fit the nonbinary cliché so well that I can’t even find any deviation from it. In reality nonbinary people are very diverse in pronouns, gendered presentation, race, body type, and class. But when newspapers are interviewing these “new” and fascinating nonbinary people, they always seem to choose people mostly like me: white, thin, AFAB, young, apparently able-bodied, androgynous-to-masculine-presenting. (I’ve been interviewed by journalists for articles about nonbinary people that then didn’t even include me in the final piece, because I refused to be seen as a representative of nonbinary people in some way.)
So going forward, I’m hoping that if and when there are more nonbinary people in TV shows we get to see some femininity, some differing body types, some people of colour, etc. I’m also hoping that we get to see some nonbinary people who are not obviously autistic - characters who express emotion freely and are not somehow brilliantly sharp and intelligent and innovative in one particular area of interest, for example.
But for now, I am thrilled. A TV show is portraying someone like me. In this case I’m lucky because I fit that autistic nonbinary cliché down to the ground, and I am perfectly represented in a mainstream US TV show for the first time in my life. I want other nonbinary people to experience that too, and this is a huge step forward and a long-deserved validation of the nonbinary community. I am excited to see what happens next for nonbinary representation and visibility.
Don’t get used to it. Don’t get used to people misgendering you. Don’t get used to people calling you your birth name. Don’t get used to people saying “Changing pronouns are too hard!” or “But what do you have down there? That’s what matters.” Don’t get used to people disrespecting you and disregarding your identity as something they can ignore. Don’t settle for that. Get mad. Get angry. Correct them. Fight for yourself. Don’t let anyone get away with stripping you of your identity to fit their own ideals.
“When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all
people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation
and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a
useful asset in team Voltron’s fight against the Galra Empire. Now if
he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a
chance at defeating Zarkon.
Needless to say, when he’d wished for a ‘bonding moment’ with Lance, this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.
(Eventual romance and mature content for later chapters).”
Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Lance’s Family (Voltron), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Slow Burn, Eventual relationship, Happy Ending, Pining, some homophobia, Lots of Cursing, some biphobia, I started this before Lance was revealed to be cuban, Mexican Lance (Voltron), Korean Keith (Voltron), Orphan Keith (Voltron)
“ “Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?” Keith
hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an
asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free
laundry was free laundry, right? “Alright, it’s a deal.”
Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming
home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be
Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.”
Ratings: Mature, M/M, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Complete Work
Tags: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Romance, Thought sharing, embarrassing stuff, Pining, Longing, Boys Being Silly
“Lance, like all the other paladins, is finally getting used to
the “mind meld” they all have to indulge in when controlling their
lions. Until someone’s uncontrollable crush comes in and knocks them all
back in surprise. It’s a crush that circles persistently through their
thoughts and only gets stronger as time goes on, until they begin to
realize this might be a bit more serious than the term “crush” implies.
Meanwhile, the unfortunate paladin behind it all is trying desperately to bury the feelings away, yet failing at every turn.”
Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Matt Holt, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Mirror Sex, slight? praise kink, Lingerie Kink, Lance looks good in blue, Pass it on, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Alternate Universe - College/University
“College is hard enough without having a huge crush on your summer research project roomate.
Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Major Character Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Pining Keith (Voltron)
“Lance’s facial expressions always seemed to affect Keith’s
heart in the strangest ways. When he was glowering at him, his heart
felt like poison spreading through his chest. When he smiled at him, his
heart fluttered with affection and he couldn’t breathe. But this…this
look of unimaginable pain on his face, it made Keith’s heart die.
In which Lance gets injured during a mission and Keith lets some things slip.”
Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Sex Pollen with Feelings (what a great tag), Emotional Slow Burn, bottom/top switching, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Mildly Dubious Consent Due To Sex Pollen Matters, Keith is a grumpy angsty baby and he’s mad that he has to keep jerking off every five minutes, Sexual Tension and Frustration as far as the eye can see, Shiro is tired and just wants his children to function, space alcohol/space drugs
“Keith and Lance unknowingly inhale an alien aphrodisiac during a simple
resource retrieval mission. But unlike the common aphrodisiac, this
particular one reactivates under certain unknown conditions, later
leaving them craving in situations that don’t necessarily present them
with many options. Keith tries to work through it, concerned with the
sudden lack of control of his body, until he realizes the same thing is
happening to Lance. So…great. How are they supposed to deal with this,
keep it a secret, AND tend to the thousands of other responsibilities
that come with defending the universe? (Together, of course.)”
I taught this morning and then ran a workshop (on mental health in the classroom yeahhhhh) at a conference this afternoon and I’m only just getting home and I’m doing all the deep breathing stuff but are there any particular stretches or something that work well for post-binding all damn day (8.5 hours, I didn’t get home as early as I thought I would)?