but pretty much my feeling for him

i talked to him on a wednesday. he sighed on my bed. i was skyping my sister, who was trying to teach me how to knit. i told him i needed to go to bed early, i had a test in the morning. he said he had things to discuss and i’m a patient person so i listened.

this is, i learn, how our “friendship” works. hours of my life become his sanctuary. he texts me constantly. his problems fill up every space in my planner. often he demands my attention rather than asking. i feel bad, because i’m the type to feel bad, so i listen. i offer advice that goes ignored, i sit in contemplative silence even though i should be studying, i nod my head and support him. 

he doesn’t notice i start drinking wine as soon as he shows up. a few times i make the mistake of trying to bring my own problems up. they are always overshadowed by his own, or else i am given an odd supply of uncomfortable comments. “i don’t feel good lately” is met with “a girl as pretty as you isn’t supposed to feel sad.” i say “i don’t like my writing recently” and he spends forty seconds saying i’m beautiful and intelligent and a perfect girlfriend before saying “unlike me, i’m awful” and before i know it, i’m comforting him again. we don’t have real conversations. once, as an experiment, i spend two hours completely silent, just to see if he’ll notice. he doesn’t. 

once he bursts into my room while i’m scheduling my week. he’s taken aback by how much i’m doing. “you look so busy!” he says, “where’s all the time you’re planning on spending with me?” he doesn’t ask about any of my other activities. he knows nothing about my life except that i’m good at listening. i feel myself under a rolling pin. he flattens me out to use me. he punishes me if i don’t give him attention - all i hear is how he is useless without me, how he’s barely holding on, how he doesn’t know what he’d do if one day i was gone. he doesn’t know my middle name. he misses my birthday.

it’s wednesday again. i’ve been drinking. he took some of my wine without asking. he lounges on my couch with his arm casually around me. my actual friends know i don’t like touching. i asked him to move but he just laughed and said “you’re so funny.” he’s too heavy for me to move physically so i just let him lay there, complaining. i stare into space, thinking about the news i got that day. about how my life has changed.

he looks up to me. “can i ask you a personal question?”  

i don’t say “that would be a first,” because my mother raised me to respond politely. i tell him go ahead, as always, i’m listening.

“why do girls like you date jerks?” he asks me.

i stare at him, uncomprehending. he is a runaway train, his mouth still moving. “I just mean,” he says, “you’re all always going after the worst guys like you don’t even see people like me. like i’m always being friend-zoned, even you did it, and you’re one of the only people who is nice to me. but girls like you never say yes to boys like me.”

i don’t know what he’s saying. i’m dating a girl, and he would know that, if he knew anything about me; a clever and talented girl who means everything to me. 

he sighs and sits back when i’m not immediate in responding. “this,” he says, “is what i mean.” looks up with puppy dog eyes at me, “i mean could you ever date someone as awful as me? am i just a friend? am i doomed to be nothing more than the friend to pretty girls?”

we aren’t friends. we aren’t friends. we aren’t friends. 

he moves the topic before i can reply, back to his problems. i text my girlfriend, “men are animals” and she sends me back a poem about how much she loves me. he tries to kiss me when he leaves, and when i duck out of it, i later get sixteen texts on how scared i am of sex. his facebook posts are all about how women don’t know how to find the right men. how we’re blind to the good things. how we don’t see fate when it’s happening. 

he says, “i wrote you something.”

it’s a poem about him.

orange boy bop

4

How do y’all decide on colors for him anyway??

unpopular opinion: viktor isn’t depressed

he’s bipolar

like look, he definitely shows signs of depression, which the fandom has already picked up on:

  • losing enjoyment in things he once enjoyed (skating)
  • running out of inspiration— a lack of motivation
  • how miserable he looks during the first stammi vicino
  • his tendency to drink too much

Originally posted by stellar-asthtc

but there are also signs of mania:

  • sudden bursts of inspiration/creativity: there’s only three months between sochi banquet and worlds, when yuuri goes viral. yet in that short period he started and nearly finished not just one, but two amazing SPs inspired by the banquet.
  • starting things but not finishing them: of course, somewhere along the way he lost inspiration and didn’t finish either eros or agape.
  • impulsivity: packing up everything, pretty much ending his career, and flying halfway across the world to be with a guy he danced with once at a party, because of a video.
  • excitement, talking really fast: the entire “do you have feelings for minako? do you have a girlfriend? any ex-girlfriends? LET’S TALK ABOUT ME! my first girlfriend—” exchange
  • grandiosity: viktor is sometimes ridiculous and over-the-top. that’s why we love him!

Originally posted by animebigworld

so guys. listen. here’s the timeline:

  • pre-sochi (depression): he’s on a downswing. skating is losing its purpose. he’s getting older. he can’t surprise anyone anymore. he’s realising that he’s been “neglecting his life and love” for his whole life, and now he has nothing.
  • immediately post-sochi (mania): meeting yuuri triggers a manic episode. he’s in love! he’s probably waiting for yuuri to contact him and whisk him away into the sunset on a white horse! he’s inspired! he begins choreographing eros, but wait! also agape! he’s full of ideas and creativity! life seems so promising!
  • between sochi and worlds (depression): yuuri never acknowledges him. this triggers another downswing. he runs out of inspiration and is unable to finish eros and agape. he looks tired and miserable during stammi vicino. he’s forgetting important things, like his promise to choreography for yuri p.
  • post-world championships (mania): on the day of worlds, yuuri’s video goes viral. he sees it and suddenly! it’s! a message! this has to mean something! this is a message! to him! (*cough* psychosis *cough*) off he goes! he packs up everything and flies halfway across the world. he’s so excited! to learn more! about yuuri! tell me about yourself! let’s talk about me! let’s sleep together!
  • yuuri seemingly rejects him (depression): he cries himself to sleep, drinks too much, seems a little more serious. reality hits him and he’s suddenly doubting whether anything meant what he thought it meant.

but then their relationship starts to develop slowly. he starts to stabilize a little as he begins to settle into life with yuuri. he’s not so depressed about the “life and love” thing, and he’s also getting used to the unfamiliar environment. he stops swinging so intensely. china happens, then barcelona.

and now we have our sweet, content, and a lot less manic vitya ^^

Originally posted by ferids

2

In other news Hiryuu’s too cute and I’m weak

Who is Lay?

♡ Zhang Yixing

where to start i love him so much

♡ Every exo-l is soft for this boy

♡ The most hardworking person on earth

♡ VOCAL

♡ King of China

He is the china line

I wanna cry while hugging him my ot12 feels

♡ “Healing unicorn”

♡ Suho’s precious kid

♡ I’m pretty sure sm hates him

Dance line

♡ Visual

♡ Actor

♡ Basically perfect

♡ CONFUSED AF

♡ Has a separate fan base called Xingmis

♡ Yi(Xing) + Nai(mi)

♡ Yixing’s name + My name

Chanyeol is the biggest xingmi

♡ As you can tell from the name 

♡ He is S O F T

♡ His softness is nothing like ksoo’s softness

♡ We call him unicorn because he is literally unreal

Originally posted by sjabe

♡ He is the softest member

♡ He is just pure fluff

♡ Is cute

♡ Really cute

♡ Even if he just stands there doing nothing but existing

♡ he is cute

♡ When he is breathing

♡ When he is smiling

♡ When he’s confused

♡ Is the type of person who would fix the plushie’s bangs when a plushie’s eyes are closed and say

♡ “now you can see”

♡ he is literally an angel

♡ He would do anything for his fans

♡ Literally anything

♡ Reads all the fan letters at the airport

♡ Males sure he performs well otherwise thinks that people’s money go to waste

♡ makes sure everyone has a pic with him before leaving the conference he was on

♡ gives handwritten invitations in chinese and english which he wrote for his bd

♡ translated his album “Lose Control” to japanese,english and chinese

♡ chinese—->cantonese+mandarin

♡ Gives members special bags called “hope bags”so that they won’t meet any troubles

♡ His pureness can’t be explained with words

♡ While we’re talking about how soft he is

♡ I wonder if the blindfold he uses while he’s dancing to artificial love is also soft

♡ HE IS A STRIPPER

Originally posted by glamourpcy

♡ I ain’t joking i’m serious

♡ I feel like he has a dark past coz those moves are pure sin

♡ He often likes to kill exo-ls with kai

♡ As a soft unicorn,he can also turn into a wild stripper on the stage

♡ I see hip thrusts

♡ Once he was performing Lose Control,his belt opened

♡ EXO-L’S DEATH ANNIVERSARY

♡ I mean he is so rude

♡ Has solo’s like Lose control,what u need? and monodrama

♡ Lose control is basically hip thrusts

♡ Along with lay’s heavy gaze and soft voice

Originally posted by lullabyun

♡ It’s just rude

GIVE US A BREAK

♡ We ain’t complaining

♡ His looks are everything

♡ He is the visual king

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

I have found so many rude gifs u guys have no idea

♡ His smile is everything

♡ When he smiles

♡ The world just stops for a minute 

♡ It becomes a better world

♡ the sun shines a bit brighter

♡ the birds sing a bit happier

Originally posted by woahzyx

This boy is srsly killing me SOMEONE SEND HELP PLS

♡ As he also works and promotes in china he has lots of photo shoots

♡ He is beautiful

♡ King of serving looks

I’m just gonna put this here coz this is art

♡ He is literally so handsome

♡ I mean he’s breathtaking

♡ Every pic that he has no matter with or without make up

♡ is so precious cause he looks so freaking good in all of them

♡ I S  E T H E R E A L

♡ I really dunno how to express this handsomeness

BLESS HIS PARENTS

♡ Also an actor

♡ Played a cutie pie in his movie kung fu yoga w jackie chan

♡ Has a movie where he and his gay husband have a baby from the future lesbians called oh my god

same

i dunno what to say anymore

♡ Also Operation love where he is a character full of regrets

♡ but returns to the past and tries his best

♡ PROMOTE YIXING

♡ As i mentioned before,he has his own solo career 

♡ His last album lose control killed all of exo-ls

♡ Has a studio in china

♡ His voice is so soothing

His singing makes me want to punch myself

♡ Sings in many languages

♡ While we mention about languages

♡ His korean is just

♡ bootiful

♡ His korean teacher told him to get a gf

HOW DARE YOU AJUSSI

♡ Often makes pronunciation mistakes

♡ “Members wet their pants”

♡ “Jurazil park”

♡ Said penis instead of pepper 

♡ chanyeol was shook

♡ cameraman was shook

♡ exo-l were shook

♡ But its ok since we love him the way he is

♡ and baek often helps and explains him 

♡ There’s a precious friendship called

♡ Baekxing

Originally posted by yixingcanbeagif2

♡ Baek often explains him anything in korean

♡ They’re super cute

♡ Precious af

♡ Yixing just loves him so much

♡ Yixing just loves every member so much

♡ Baek is yixing’s nr.1 fan

♡ He also has a super confused side

♡ Always confused

♡ Bbh is his life saver

Originally posted by baekintime

♡ Fangirl bbh mode on

♡ You can actually ship lay with any member since he’s a fluff ball

♡ —->sulay

Originally posted by su-lay

♡ He is suho’s most precious kid since he’s innocent and easygoing

♡ —–>xiulay

Originally posted by minniedeer

♡ —>Layhan

Originally posted by luharem

♡ #BRINGTHISBACK2K17

#FUCKSM

♡ Even tough they’re former members he still keeps in touch with his brothers from china

♡ And supports them and their movies,music..etc

♡ also meets them in china

I WANNA UGLY SOB RN I HATE YOU SM WHY THE FUCK KRISHANTAO LEFT MY OT12 FEELINGS

♡ also teaches sehun chinese

♡ Since he’s really kind and considerate towards people he’s loved by everyone

♡ His dance is everything you want in your life

♡ He is really passionate about dancing

♡ he is a choreographer

♡ What u need?’s choreo

♡ Lose contol’s choreo

♡ also helped they never know’s choreo

♡ Is close with 1m dance studio’s Kasper

U can actually spot kasper in every sm dance practice video

♡ His moves are so smooth yet delicate

♡ he is an angel dancing

Originally posted by xehunted

I HAD TO

♡ He also ended saesang fans

♡ “as saesang fans have every information about us including our phone numbers,i’m expecting them to know teacher lee so man’s number too”

♡ YAS

♡ He is really hardworking

♡ produced an album in china

♡ Shot 2 movies,one w jackie chan

♡ shot a drama

♡ Promoted exo

♡ promoted his work

♡ performed his solo work

♡ sometimes danced sometimes sang

♡ Joined his brothers for the comeback

BUT NOW SM WONT LET HIM COME BACK FUCK U SM

♡ Did all those things in half a year

♡ As we can tell

♡ overworks himself

♡ fainted twice

♡ The photos taken today at the airport was showing how tired he was

♡ he works nonstop 

♡ he gotta rest

♡ he was working all the time when the rest of the members had time to rest

I fucking hate sm

♡ He is the most precious kid i’ve ever seen

♡ #PROTECTLAYSQUAD2K17

♡ I swear if they comeback without lay i’ll fly to korea and let the sm building on fire after stabbing lee soo man 384737 times

♡ He is the cutest pls protect him

Originally posted by squynhty

170416 제이홉 summary;

This log was filmed after the boys returned to Korea, him and Namjoon got to watch Coldplay live in Seoul. As a singer who was able to watch one of his favorite artist as a fan (Hoseok, not J-Hope), he got to experience his heart flutter and feel happy, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. While he was standing there, he felt the same emotions ARMYs do when watching him perform. He felt so thankful for the fans that love and support his music. Him attending the concert made him feel emotions he hadn’t experienced in a while so he’s very happy for it. There was a slight mention about their trip to Hawaii and his mixtape, but he couldn’t speak about it because he might give away too much. Just be patient and wait for the final products. He ends his log saying Bangtan needs to finish the Wings Tour strong and healthy with honor!

Imagine Tony’s face the first time he opens one of Iron Man’s fan letter. Imagine him still reeling from the aftermath of his public coming-out–with Pepper and Coulson and SHIELD and the board and pretty much everyone being pissed at him– and after a long, long day, Tony opens this letter and finds a crude drawing of his suit with a shaky, misspelled You’re my favourite hero, Mr Stark and he just- stares at it with this expression of utter wonder, traces the letters in silent awe, feels this rush of warmth and affection and happiness that settles in a soft smile on his lips.

y’all we really need to discuss just how far this series has gone and how much the characters have developed at this point because

wow.

first off, i will never get over how amazing thomas’ acting really is. being honest, the sides’ costumes are relatively simple, but thomas brings them to life so much to the point i sometimes i forget they are the same person. thomas gives all of them such defining features such as their postures, mannerisms, expressions and most importantly, voices. i can easily open another tab in my browser and not be able to see the video at all, and still be able to pin-point exactly who is speaking. that’s amazing.

the journey each of these characters has been amazing and they are pretty much their own people at this point, despite individually, being single aspects of personality. 

roman is creativity; but he’s also the ego, the dreamer; and the further we look we can see there’s even more under all of that as despite his self-absorbed personality, roman seems to have trouble with self-esteem and self-worth unless he feels like he’s helping. his confident act is likely a defense mechanism but he will slip up, and needs to ask people if he looks okay or did something correctly. he fears failure because he’s a dreamer.

logan is logic and yet, despite his cold and somewhat ‘emotionless’ nature, it’s clear that’s not all. we know he’s not truly lacking in emotions, it’s rather he prefers not to delve into them. he’s incredibly smart but hates making mistakes and feeling wrong because he knows his purpose and wants to do it right. he likes challenges and puzzles and probably has his weird own sense of humour (cough, the dab, cough). he can seem insensitive and cold but isn’t completely oblivious as he noticed thomas’ unhappiness in the growing up video. he cares, just differently.

patton is more than some happy go lucky airhead. emotions are so complex, and him being morality and deep emotions, there is more than meets the eye with him, for sure. he cares for every single one of the sides and thomas, no matter how much they shut him down at times and will stand up for himself when need be. he can be serious, rarely, but he can be (as shown when he told thomas to put his pants back on in the accepting anxiety p1 video.) he can be parent-like and serious, but just prefers the loving approach because it’s part of who he is. that doesn’t make him foolish or completely naive.

finally. virgil, my boy. his very first appearance introduced him as an antagonist. he was unfriendly and was almost borderline spiteful towards thomas at times and smug. he pointed at thomas’ mistakes and just general tried to make him feel anxious for no apparent reason (which is in his job description obviously) but as videos went by he developed so much. being seen as and treated as the bad guy for doing his job and pretty much, existing, showed how much deeper his character went. he’s learned to deal with being unwelcome, developing a self-hatred for himself and just a lot of self-esteem issues and of course, anxiety. but you can tell no matter how aloof he seemed, he wanted to be a part of the team, seeing as how crushed he seemed when logan didn’t take his side anymore in the am i original video. all of the sides are flawed but virgil was the easiest to pick out and consider a nuisance (kinda like sadness in inside out, if you think about it).

i could go on forever about how much i love this series and these characters just aaaahhhh !!! thank you thomas for creating something so awesome for everyone to enjoy, we appreciate you and your friends’ hard work so much, you don’t even know.

Try to get rid of me in an overseas big city? We'll get rid of you instead.

(long story. tl;dr at the end)

Context:

Back in 2011 me and my immediate family traveled to Saudia Arabia for Umrah, or what’s known as the lesser pilgramage. You visit Makkah, make rounds around the Kaabah, pray with all your heart and soul, you get the picture. My dad and I were excited because we were all about going on a spiritual journey and casting away the problems of the world - but as it turns out, some problems just wouldn’t leave us.

As soon as we landed in Jeddah’s airport, our plan was to take a taxi to Makkah and get the Umrah done while we were still gung-ho about God. However, we were instead diverted to our relatives’ house in Jeddah, where we discovered that 4 or 5 of my mothers’ relatives and their families had gathered up and spontaneously crashed in my grandfather’s house for one giant family reunion. Naturally, my dad and I, as well as my maternal grandfather, were really upset over this development as my mom’s side of the family is full of … for the lack of a more polite word, the shady folks. Most of them I was on good terms with, but once I realized that my least favorite Uncle and Aunt had come with the crew, my enthusiasm just deflated like a balloon.

Keep reading

Inexorable (1)

So I thought, why not combine that shit and make it a mini-series or something? I really hope you two anons enjoy it! No idea how many parts there will be. We shall see. Gif isn’t mine, cred goes to the owners! 1,560 Words

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader 

Genre: Fluff, a little crack, (Eventual) Smut, Mafia au!

Part 1 | Part 2

Everyone’s heard of blind dates – never of blind marriages, not even in the mafia world. Yet, here you were, walking down the aisle, your hand latched onto your father’s arm, towards a young man you had never seen before. 

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to speak to him, let alone this being the first time you actually got to see his face. There was so much rage bubbling inside you at the moment, but it was all hidden behind a small smile.

Combining two mafia organizations together was a huge deal; something bosses usually agreed on with the exchange of girls, but considering Red Python was one of the most powerful organizations in the country, they wouldn’t want just any girl. They wanted a suitable bride for the heir of said organization.

And your father, being the great, generous man he was, suggested you.

Keep reading

Long rant about Portugal winning cuz I’m salty and can’t sleep

First of all, to all the people who’re gonna say 

“You don’t appreciate good music!”
What music I like and what would be considered “good” music is not for you to decide.

or “You’re just jealous that your fave didn’t win!” 

You are absolutely right, and here’s why:

  1. The song itself was pretty forgetful and boring to listen to. Literally ASMR material. It was different, yes, but just because something is different, it doesn’t make it exceptionally good.
  2. The singer blantantly disrespected the contest itself and acted as if his music was superior to everybody else’s. 
    Bulgaria, Hungary, Moldova: “Bitch, hold my fucking poodle.”
  3. Actual quote of him: “Music is not fireworks, music is feeling.”
    Music can be anything and that’s the beauty of it. All the other contestants that you bashed in your speech put just as much feeling and effort into their songs, maybe even more than you. Stfu.
  4. Actual arguments by ppl defending the song:
    -He sung in Portuguese
    -He performed despite having a heart condition
    -The audience was quiet during his performance
    -He looks cute

    Let me take em one by one..
    a) There were other songs, who sung in their own language as well, what’s your point
    b) Good for him, but that was pretty reckless, considering smthg serious COULD’VE happened
    c) They were quiet cuz the dude was whispering and maybe they were even *asked* to be quiet
    d) Kristian looked 10x cuter, thank you. 
  5. People saying that “A song with meaning won”, did you actually read the lyrics in English? His song was about love, the most generic topic in a boring ass ballad.
  6. You want a song with meaning, that isn’t sung in English and is quite memorable?
    FUCKING HUNGARY!!!!!! 
    Did anybody even bother with Hungary??
    Traditional music, traditional dancing, traditional clothing (partially), bilingual singing (none of it in English) AND the song was about the racism that Romas (aka Gypsies) face. PLUS THE SONG WAS ACTUALLY QUITE MEMORABLE AND VERY UNIQUE
  7. People were angry and pissed at Portugal winning, not because they hate Salvador or even the song, but because there were so many others that deserved it much more.
    No matter HOW you look at it, this was by no means a “winner” song. It sounds like no-copyright Coffeeshop music. And if the jury and the viewers voted for him because of him behaving in a peculiar way or because of his heart condition, Idk what to say to you. This isn’t the first time this happened, Conchita also won because of her being a drag Queen, however, her song was not that horrible tbh. I’ve already forgotten the rythme of Salvador’s song, that’s how forgettable it is. 
  8. And finally @ all the people being salty that Bulgaria didn’t win: I feel your pain.
    Compared to Portugal, Bulgaria was heaps better and idc what Salvador thinks about other artists, but you cant tell me that Kristian didn’t put just as much heart and soul into his performance with even better vocals and an actual good song all around. Both songs were about love, so you can’t argue with any difference in lyrical content. He was also very angry at himself and apologized for not being able to make it 1st place. He apologized for being ONLY 2nd, which is very admirable for a 17 year old to even GET this far. You deserve the world, boy. Your song will actually be played on radio stations and may your records be purchased by millions.

I think that’s all I had to say. Eurovision has become a disappointing joke. 

Bucky Imagine #3 | Lingerie

Originally posted by buckysqueenbitch

—————————–

Author’s Note: I have so much other stuff to write but sometimes inspiration strikes and I don’t want to lose it. Enjoy Bucky learning about lingerie! 

Rated M for conversation topics and innuendos. 

Have an idea? MAKE A REQUEST!

—————————–

Bucky wasn’t the kind of man who just went rummaging around in women’s underwear drawers. He was respectable - a true gentleman, if he said so himself - and yet here he was, eyes lingering a little too long on the lacy strap that had fallen out of the dresser. He had to admit he was curious; things had changed so much in seventy years. Women didn’t wear anything else that was similar to what it was in the forties, surely their underclothes were different, too.

He peaked over his shoulder, eyes scanning the room for any other sign of life before he allowed himself to walk a little closer. He was already invading your privacy by just being here, in your bedroom when the rest of the team was gone, so he just looked at first, studied the little black ribbon and titch of lace that was available to him. 

Keep reading

To Realise

A mini celebration for 2000 followers! Thanks Everyone!!!!

A Soulmate AU where they only realise they are Soulmates when they say/read/hear each other’s names out loud followed by an immediate overflowing of emotion sparking inside of them. Instant realisation.

Yoosung:

-       He was already running late. This was not the first impression he wanted to give to everyone! He was in University! He was intelligent! He knew how to set a simple alarm!

-       … in theory yes, in practise… not so much… hence the lateness…

-       It also didn’t help that he couldn’t remember which lecture theatre he was meant to be in- which meant he had to stop and scan for his name at each door on the floor… four down three to go…

-       Kim Yoosung… Kim Yoosung… Kim… nope not that room!

-       When he got to the final room (because of course it had to be the final room) he managed to find his name… but his eyes were mysteriously drawn to another name, his mouth wrapping itself around the syllables before he knew what he was doing…

-       “M… MC?”

-       His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest, his knees went wobbly and his head felt light and fuzzy, yet so damn clear at the same time. Yoosung stilled himself, bracing his arms against the doorframe to insure he wouldn’t fall flat on his face.

-       What was happening to him?

-       He had never felt this way before- was he coming down with something? He touched the back of his hand against his forehead and sure enough he was warm and sweaty.

-       Though, granted, it could have been because he had been running for the last fifteen minutes and trying not to burst out crying because he was going to be late- not because he was sick and dying.

-       His stomach fluttered and his mouth ran dry… no, he must be getting sick. Maybe he shouldn’t have eaten that pizza that was left over… from three days ago. He really needed to start cooking more.

-       Yoosung clamped his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe deeply, he could get through this. It was only one hour. He could do this.

-       Opening the door, the newly blonde haired student waltzed into the theatre only to have the entire room turn to face him.

-       Great. He must have been later than he thought he was.

-       Only to have them all shrug and continue on with their conversations.

-       Yoosung turned to his left to where their professor was meant to be standing, only to see it empty- the teacher was late? He wasn’t the last one to class? Finally! He managed to catch a break!

-       Running a hand through his sweat soaked hair and laughing as he wiped his palm on his jeans, Yoosung shook his head at how stupid he was to worry so much… besides, chiding himself made it easier to forget the uneasy feeling coursing through his veins.

-       It wasn’t a bad sensation, just… different. Good. Like little bubbles of pure emotion streaming through his blood. Why he felt happy and excited and nervous all at the same time…  he didn’t know. Weirdest case of food poisoning he ever had that was for sure-

-       He began to scan the rows of seats for the easiest spot to slip into and found one close to the middle just on the aisle without anyone sitting in between him and the girl on the other side, the really pretty girl laughing with her friends…

-       Yoosung pressed his blunt nails into the flesh of his palm to wake himself up from his unintentional staring. He took in a bolstering breath and psyched himself up just so he could sit down, it’s not like the cute girl had noticed him or his existence or anything. It would be fine.

-       Edging into the chair and adjusting the fold up side table he began to unpack his books and pens, only for his latest guide for LOLOL to slip out from between his textbooks.

-       The girl next to him caught sight of the bright colours from the side of her eye and turned around, her eyes focused on the cover of the magazine before they shot up to look him in the eye.

-       She was stunning. And she looked disgusted with him.

-       “Tsk, another one of those computer geeks who do nothing but sit in their dark little apartments and fall in love with fictional characters,” she sneered as her friends cackled behind her… clearly none of them had grown up any since graduating from high school. Yoosung sighed and was about to shyly excuse himself when-

-       Yeah, that’s right! We sit in our apartments and fall in love with fictional characters who still have far more depth and strength of character in one pixel than you could ever have in your entire being… Girl- did you regress into your 7th grade form over the holidays after graduating- it’s cool if you did, I’d like to study you for my psychology lab- I’ll entitle it, ‘Dumb bitch, scared and out of her league, forgets how to act like a decent human being.’ Know what? Just leave- you’re not appreciated here- we wouldn’t want to infect you with our geekiness.”

-       Yoosung turned around to see a girl with big earphones and an even bigger hoodie sitting forward giving the first (not so cute anymore) girl the most menacing glare he had ever seen, bar the ones his mother wielded.

-       The group of girls huffed and tried to retort under their breaths before packing up and moving rows.

-       Headphones girl clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she made up her mind; she slung her cross-body bag over her shoulder as she clambered over the seats to sit next to Yoosung. The girl slightly winded from her almost-argument and her repositioning, offered the blonde boy a crooked grin- one he returned without hesitation.

-       “So… LOLOL boy- you gonna let me look at that guide? I was meaning to pick one up today after class but since you have one right here…” she eluded as she quirked one eyebrow up to test if he caught her drift. He did. He handed her the guide.

-       “H-hey… thanks for before… I didn’t know what I should say, if I should say anything at all-”

“No sweat LOLOL boy-”

“Hahah are you going to call me that forever?” he asked, laughing as he rubbed the back of his neck.

-       The girl eyed him critically from behind the pages of the guide.

“Pretty much, yes.”

Yoosung chuckled as he twirled his pen through the tips of his fingers, happy to feel the earlier wash of illness and emotion wane into nothing but a sense of peace and calm.

“Well, can I at least have a name to call you? Butt-Kicking Classmate is kind of a mouthful.”

“And yet so apt-”

“Yes I understand this but-”

-       “MC. My name is MC.”

The waning was nothing but the calm before the storm, the eye of the tornado- and Yoosung was the poor cow stuck up 1000 feet in the air and she… she was the tornado. The boy sat back as he burnt up, his cheeks flaring as he bit his lip to not shout out from the sheer heat that he endured. Why did this happen every time he heard her name? Or said her name? Or even thought of her name? It was infuriating!

“What should I call you if not LOL-”

“Yoosung. Kim… Kim Yoosung.”

-       He had heard a soft gasp from behind the pages of the guide and he didn’t miss the way her hands trembled, or how wide her eyes had become. Slowly but steadily, MC drew the magazine down past her chin until her entire face was visible to him… that fluttering in his stomach, that fuzzy but clear feeling- it all came rushing back one hundred-fold.

-       “Yoosung… Kim… you say?” she asked, her once confident voice all but whispered.

-       He had never heard his name sound so beautiful.

-       “Yes, Yoosung Kim…” he confirmed with the smallest of nods of his head, watching as she swallowed some saliva and captivated in the way her throat moved as she did so. He was entranced by the way her mouth seemed to want to do a thousand different things, smile, talk, laugh, scream… so damn expressive.

-       MC clicked her tongue once more as she was wont to do when she made an important decision and put the guide back down on his desk before leaning forward, completely invading his personal space. Not that he was complaining. In fact… she could invade it more. It didn’t seem close enough.

-       “Yoosung Kim… I’ve been looking for you, for a long time,” she smiled, her warm hand resting atop his, a flash of electricity passing through their touch.

“You have? Why? I’m just me, little old Yoosung…”

-       She threw her head back and laughed and to him it sounded like bells chiming.

-       “Yes, you are little old Yoosung, but from today - you are my little old Yoosung…” she pointed out as her pointer finger booped him firmly on the tip of his nose.

“Well if I’m yours, th-then you’re mine!” he answered his chest puffing out slightly- why had he said that? When did he become so damn brazen? Was he going crazy?

“Hahaha, duh! If you’re my Soulmate then I’m your Soulmate- so of course I’m yours!”

“….. Soul… soul what?”

-       His parents had never told him anything about Soulmates, didn’t prepare him for what was to come. He was hit by a truck and completely floored.

-       The truck was named MC. He didn’t want to get up.

-       “Care to explain?”

-       MC stared at him completely dumbfounded, her mouth agape and her eyes even wider than before. She inhaled and nodded, resigning herself to the fact that the love of her life was completely innocent and that she did indeed have to teach him everything.

-       It was going to be so much fun.

-       “You see when a man and a woman love each other very much-”

“MC I KNOW ABOUT SEX I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SOULMATES!” he hissed loud enough for the two rows surrounding them to snigger at.

“Sex? Who said anything about sex? Geez, I say soulmate and you’re already trying to get into my pants-”

“MC!” he whined, his amethyst eyes large and pleading. Of course, she acquiesced.

-       “Forever Yoosung. It means that you and me, until death do us part, no matter what… it’s me and you.”

-       He took a moment to process this, that he had literally no choice in who he fell in love with- that fate intervened and made sure that he had someone to love and someone to love him in return for the rest of his life… it was just so much to take in…

-       MC entwined her fingers with his when she noticed what she assumed was struggle painted on his face. This, he was going to have this, forever.

-       It didn’t matter that he had just met the girl, that he knew nothing about her- his body knew before he did.
He already loved her.

-       He smiled and squeezed her hand back.

-       “Okay… I think I’m okay with that.”



Zen:

-       His first motion picture…

-       He was beside himself. He couldn’t believe that his agent had managed to get him this part! It was meant for a more well-known leading man and an unknown actress but they had fallen in love with how well he had read for the part and how well his headshots looked against the actress’s.  

-       He hadn’t been told who they had chosen, it wasn’t like it really mattered at the end of the day- the girl was an unknown, fresh faced and new in the show business role. She had never acted a day in her life but the casting director had seen her on the street and she had just the aesthetic he was after- it was just pure dumb luck that she was natural at acting.

-       He had planned to talk to her at the read through but she had lost her voice and couldn’t attend… it wasn’t until they were both there for the first physical run through of the scenes that they actually met…

-       “Oh hi! You must be-”

“Yeah! You’re the actress playing MC right?-”

-       He didn’t get to finish his sentence, nor did she.

-       She was whisked off to fit some costumes and he… he couldn’t breathe.

-       The moment he said MC, his lips started to tingle and an odd buzzing sound rang in his ears. His cheeks felt flushed and his heart beat raced. He couldn’t understand… he had said that name more than a thousand times whilst reading the script, not once did he ever feel that way. It must have been her. Seeing her and her face must have just solidified his character’s feelings inside him of course. That must be what it was.

-       When she finally returned and they shook hands he could have sworn that he felt his own heartbeat beating in time with hers, palm to palm, one solid beat.

-       Damn it he needed to focus and not get too lost into the character… his character was the love-sick fool not him! He was a professional! He had only met this girl! He-he

-       … she had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen in his life.

-       FOCUS!

-       He had to thank whatever it was running through his system because he had never felt more “on” than at that moment. Every line he delivered to her felt authentic and organic, like he truly meant it. Looking around it was obvious that everyone else on set agreed, absolutely transfixed on the couple centre stage.

-       He could feel every word she was saying to him like it was scripture; that every word of love and devotion that she spoke had the power to let him walk on air… and god he really wanted to try.

-       …

-       He must have been a better actor than even he gave himself credit for, making himself believe that he was already half in love with the woman in front of him…

-       He didn’t even want to stop rehearsing until the Director had called out three times for them to finish up, he was just a ball of energy and wanted nothing more than to release that through this amazing acting he and this actress were performing, he didn’t want to lose momentum.

-       He didn’t want to lose what he was feeling…

-       “H-Hey! MC! Did you want to go and get some lunch with me?” he had asked before realising that he had called her by her character’s name. He felt the blood flood his cheeks as he forced himself not to slap himself or just die from embarrassment. He couldn’t be that far gone into this role to already be thinking of her as her character… this is how idiots fall in love with co-stars… “I’m so sorry, habit, I didn’t mean to call you MC-”

“And why not? It’s my name too,” she smiled as she rested her hand on his bicep, the muscle there twitching instinctively under her touch.

-       Shit.

-       Zen was no fool. He knew what this meant. He knew, deep down, that he wasn’t that good of an actor to fool himself- damn it- he was already half in love.

-       The only half evidently. She seemed completely unaffected… unless… had she said his name yet? No, she hadn’t. Only his character’s name!

-       “How silly of me! All this time I’ve never introduced myself properly! Hello MC, my name is Zen, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he beamed offering his hand out to her.  

-       Please

-       She smiled and took his hand and laughed as he flipped it over to kiss the back of hers.

-       “Oh! Hahah- wow! Um… yes, yes it’s lovely to meet you too Zen… Zen.”

-       He watched in rapt fascination as her fingers curled around his almost painfully, how her eyes widened and how her jaw fell and closed but fell back down- as if she were trying to desperately find the words… or simply remember how to talk.

-       “So… it’s true what they say…” he trailed off as he drew her closer with a simple tug of her hand still within his, “About when you meet your other half…”

Swallowing deeply and finally blinking her burning eyes MC shook her head and took a step back, though, she did not withdraw her hand.
“What do they say?” she asked her voice trembling as much as her body was.

“That when you finally say your Soulmate’s name- nothing else in the world sounds as beautiful. That nothing else tastes as nice as the name of your Soulmate on your tongue. That the mere thought of their name is enough to bring tears to your eyes…”

-       She stared at him completely astonished by the ardent proclamations of this- stranger-

-       “No one says that,” she whispered as she licked her lips subconsciously her eyes fixated on his, content on watching him worry at the plump flesh.

Not out loud…”

“They should… So- um… lunch?” she asked finally pulling away and bringing her hand to her chest, her other hand cradling it almost tenderly, her fingers tracing the still- warm parts of her skin that he had held.

-       They talked about anything that came to mind, their pasts, their dreams, their favourite food and their mutual aversion to cats. “A cat scratched my face when I was three and although I think they’re beautiful, I just… I just can’t.”

-       Soulmates were made to be a perfect fit after all…  

-       Once they got back on set the tension between the two was so thick it was practically humming- everyone could see that something had happened over lunch.

-       During a pivotal scene, where they were about to finally separate ways forever and part with a kiss…  

-       MC was looking at Zen, tears brimming in her eyes –geez what a talent- merely four lines away from their kiss and-

-       … and she dropped her script and crossed the stage to kiss him. Completely unscripted. Completely inappropriate.

-       It was perfect.

-       “-But Director, they’re not meant to kiss yet-”

“Shhh… she’s absolutely right! The character wouldn’t be able to wait, she wouldn’t want to waste a moment with talk when these two people are all about action! Have the scriptwriters add it right away-”

-       Zen smirked as they continued to share their first kiss with more than fifty random people around them. He didn’t care, the Director was right. They didn’t want to waste another moment- and suddenly- Zen didn’t mind being one of those idiot actors who fell in love with his co-star.

-       “Okay guys we get the point, we should probably move on… guys?… guys?!”



Jaehee:

-       It wasn’t particularly easy being kicked out by your Uncle and Aunt… she didn’t have anyone… and she didn’t want to touch what little was left of her inheritance from her parents so- she figured it would be better if she found a part time job.

-       That way her mind would be occupied at all times and she could indeed earn some money.

-       Besides… working with coffee wasn’t a bad thing. Being a barista wasn’t a bad thing, even if it did mean she was practically drooling at every order she made, she figured there would be worse cons to a job… like being a slave to a tyrant who overworked you and never appreciated you- she shuddered. She never wanted to end up like that!

-       It was a particularly busy day being the first weeks of winter, everyone would run in just wanting a cup of something warm to hold to help them heat up against the chill in the air, the poor brunette was already run off her feet. She was barely even looking at the customers in the eyes as she pushed their orders across the counter.

-       Wiping the sweat off her brow with the back of her arm, Jaehee took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Soon. Her own break would be soon. Just the next order to do and she would be free for 30 glorious minutes.

-       Pulling the last ticket off the machine so she could read her colleague’s sloppy writing a little easier, she memorised the order and proceeded to make it perfectly. Pouring it out into the large cup Jaehee took the receipt again to make sure she got the customer’s name right- MC…

-       She nearly spilt the drink all over herself.

-       That name. She’d seen it a thousand times before. Written it a thousand times before.

-       But this time- this person’s name… it made her heart skip a beat. It made her heart feel full and happier than it had for the longest time. It made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. It made her think of a home, a real one with her and this MC.

-       All from a name.

-       Jaehee finished writing the name down on the cup neatly and carefully put the pen down. She licked her lips and inhaled and called out in a voice she hoped didn’t shake too much, “MC?!”

-       “Oh here!?”

-       Jaehee looked up to see an angel in a trench coat and beanie. Her skin kissed with cold, nose and cheeks rosy and eyes bright. Such beauty right in front of her.

“Um… may I please have my order um… Jae-Jaehee?”

-       The two women looked at each other from either side of the counter, the noise and hustle and bustle of the small coffee shop completely going unnoticed by them.

-       Jaehee pushed the cup to the middle of the bench only to be met in the middle by MC’s hand, her gloved fingers wrapping themselves around her quivering digits.

-       “I… this is…” she stammered unable to look away from the other woman’s eyes, her own honeyed irises large with disbelief.

-       She couldn’t be that lucky… to meet them… to meet her so early in life…

-       “It is,” MC answered her pink cheeks turning red as her lips curled into a stunning smile.

-       “B-but I don’t believe in-”

“I’m standing right here.”

“Nothing good ever happens to me-”

“Right in front of you.”

“I have a break now-”

“Let’s have a coffee.”

-       For the first time since she started working there, Jaehee took her break front of house… with a customer no less… and no one batted an eye when 30 minutes turned to an hour. Then an hour into an hour and a half- the girl had never smiled like she did right then; who were they to take that away from her?

-       They did however yell at her when she accidentally kept writing and calling out MC’s name for every order for the next day.




Jumin:

-       Soulmates? Preposterous. His father had spent his entire adult life looking for his soulmate, convinced that every pretty woman who batted their eyelashes at him and feigned to feel a strong connection to him (his money) was the one. This obsession with finding his Soulmate leading their family to shame and their company to ruin.

-       Well. Not. Him.

-       He didn’t believe in such nonsense. Not once did he find a woman worth spending time with let alone believing them capable to be the other perfect half of your soul. That would be the day.

-       All throughout high school he had one vapid girl after another clawing at him to say their name, hoping that he would feel the twinge in his heart and for butterflies to zoom out of his butt or some ridiculous notion like that. By the first month of school he refused to call any girl by their name and insisted on labelling everyone “Hey you there” or “Female student in front of me.”  

-       By the time he entered university, word had gotten out that Jumin Han just hated the idea of anyone being in love- because who would so vehemently refuse to even try to find their Soulmate? Who would look down on others just for trying to find a little piece of happiness? He was just an angry, lonely man.

-       Not that they were entirely wrong on that assessment… but not entirely right either.

-       Though, he didn’t let something like public opinion of him falter his course or his ideas- Jumin never thought much of other people’s talking of subjects they had no idea about. He took great pleasure it picking apart their arguments and making them sound like fools.

-       Probably why he made such an excellent debater, Captain of the team in fact.

-       In his final year of University, they were finally pitted against their rival school; not once in all the years he had been on the team had he had the chance to face off with the national champions- he was always called off to sit in with his father’s meetings or off sick; but not this time. This time he would meet them, crush them and reclaim the title for his school.

-       He had tried every avenue to find out what they could about their new Captain but everyone was on lockdown, no one would talk and all means of electronically hacking their systems to find out who they were, were completely barred. He didn’t want to cheat, it would sully his victory- no he just wanted to be prepared. Know their history, their grades and whatnot- let it never be said that Jumin Han didn’t do his homework.

-       The day of the debate arrived and sure enough familiar faces lined the opposite team- except one. A pretty girl he supposed, hardly what he would call imposing with her sweet smile and her intermittent waves to the crowd in front of them. Hardly Captain material, he’d be surprised if she was first chair… but wait- what was she doing sitting in the Captain’s chair?

-       Good Lord.

-       This was going to be too easy.

-       Jumin barely heard the announcer listing off his teammates but he paused when he heard her name. It cut through him like a hot knife through butter, seared onto his brain.

-       MC.

-       He felt nauseous, a cold sweat forming on his upper lip as his steel grey eyes raked over her smaller form.

-       She looked just as shaken as he did; her hands ringing together ripping the tissues trapped between her fingers.

-       He thought he was going to faint- what was this feeling? He mouthed her name and the feeling of illness slipped away only to be replaced with a wash of warmth? A silly tingling in his blood that seemed to be singing her name in his ears. His mouth was dry and his throat on fire, his palms lined with a sheen of sweat and his heart beating in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t understand.

-       He watched as MC calmed herself all the while keeping her gaze focused on him, her cheeking burning up the longer she stared. She ran her tongue along her lower lip and he had never been so charmed by a muscle in his life.

-       Jumin she mouthed, maybe to him, maybe to herself- he didn’t know- what he did notice however was the way her hand clutched at her blazer just above where her heart would be. She didn’t look like she was in pain but she wasn’t exactly the same grinning woman he had seen moments earlier.

-       Indeed, it seemed that Jumin could barely tear his eyes off her, he couldn’t pay attention to his teammates, he couldn’t take notes- he could only focus on her. Just how far had he fallen? Over hearing a name and seeing a pretty face? Get it together Jumin!

-       Except he couldn’t. Every time he tried to rebut an argument he would instinctively look back at the opposite team and his eyes locked onto hers and he’d be lost. Each time he’d make any headway with his points he’d want to say her name instead, and of course, everything came out all tongue tied.

-       Thankfully for him, her performance wasn’t much better, she was a blushing mess but still- a coherent blushing mess.

-       Jumin’s university went home empty handed that year after all.

-       But not Jumin, not this time.

-       He wouldn’t lose twice in one day.

-       “Hello there, good performance today.”

“You too.”

“I’m Jumin Han-”

“I know. I’m MC-”

“I heard, yes.”

-       Her teammates were calling for her to hurry up and get on the bus and she was about to call back to them but was cut off by the suddenly confident opposing Captain, “Please go on ahead- I will take MC home.” They looked at her and she in turn looked up to him and shook her head at his cavalier and brash assumption. He was just lucky it was the correct one.

“It’s fine guys, you heard what Jumin said- he’s going to take me home.”

-       The silence in the auditorium was deafening. Jumin never spoke a girl’s first name and he certainly never let someone who just met him call him by his first name… unless…

-       Jumin fiddled with the cufflinks in his sleeves trying to buy time before he had to speak again. MC picked at imaginary lint at her skirt in hopes that the man would continue his initiative.

-       “I… I don’t know how any of this works… in fact until about an hour ago I was certain it was all a farce,” he admitted his eyes firmly fastened on her right shoulder, “but if… if it’s really what it seems like is it- what it feels like it is- I would like the chance to understand it all. Understand everything about you.”

-       MC smiled, even if she wasn’t his Soulmate, after that heartfelt speech, she would have bribed the stars themselves to realign just so she could be.

“I don’t know how this works either- my mother told me it might happen one day, to just pray it would just happen before I got married to someone else who I thought was my Soulmate… is it… I mean… you felt it too? When you heard my name?” she questioned her eyebrows arching up as high as they would go. “The pull? The need to keep saying my name over and over again? Tell me it just wasn’t me.”

-       Jumin’s lips quirked to the side in an amused smirk, this girl was adorable. She could have asked to have his heart out on a platter and he’d have freely offered it, but all she required was the confirmation of his budding feelings from him.

-       Just too easy.

-       “I did. I feel it now. I have no choice but to believe in all this-”

“Prove it.”

“Uh…how?”

“Scream my name out into the audience, let everyone hear it! Let everyone hear the name on the tip of your tongue, the name that your heart beats to now!” she goaded him, an excited grin on her face.

-       Jumin stared at her in shock- again another easy request… he didn’t care what people thought of him after all. Shrugging nonchalantly Jumin opened his mouth to swallow a gulp of air more than ready to scream out her name-

-       Only to have two delicate hands cover his mouth and a giggle that was not his own reverberating on his chest.

“Damn it! I didn’t think you’d actually do it! You’re crazy! I believe it, I believe you!” she guffawed, burying her face against him, her body heat and laughter seeping into him and offering a warmth that he had never felt before.

-       He liked it.

-       He wanted more.

-       “So… perhaps it wouldn’t be out of line for me to ask you out to dinner?” he asked looking down at the crown of her head.

“O-Of course not!”

“Tonight?”

-       The tentative slip of her hand in his was answer enough for him.



Saeyoung:

-       He was a good, diligent worker and that was all that mattered to the Agency.

-       He barely ate, he barely slept, barely did anything but exist and work.

-       The perfect agent.

-       Then they brought her in.

-       606.

-       Quiet and withdrawn but brilliant. She could code almost as well as he did and she could hack into places faster and without a trace better than him. She slept less than him. Ate less than him. Was less than him.

-       She wasn’t going to survive, she would burn out and become useless to the Agency and she would have to be disposed of.

-       … and even as far as he had come, as low as he had gone… that didn’t sit right with him. He chose this life, but someone that hollow did not. Someone that broken had been torn away from a good life, a happy life.

-       He imagined her having younger siblings who missed her, parents who searched the streets with her picture in hand begging for information, friends who no longer spoke to each other because the memory of her haunted them.

-       He wasn’t going to let the agency steal a life that didn’t belong to them.

-       It all started with innocent emails; just him asking how she was, sending her funny jokes or pictures, bantering and bitching about work in such a way that no one would be able to crack down on them for… make her smile. Make her strong. Don’t let her break.

-       606 soon became the life of the office… which didn’t say much because it was literally just him, her and Vanderwood in the small room. She was laughing and smiling and radiating joy- her work improved… the Agency was very happy.

-       707. Stay back tonight. Help me with an assignment?

-       Of course, 606, whatever you need.

-       That night when Vanderwood had finally gone past his threshold of exhaustion, the older man peeled himself off the chair and bid “the children” goodnight.

-       She kept typing, she kept on finishing her work for another 20 minutes as he sat there dumbfounded as to why she had asked him to stay back when all she was doing was literally more work. That was what tomorrow was for!

-       He was about to pack up and leave when she threw him a piece of paper.

I’m leaving. Tonight. Come with me.

-       He looked back up at her, there was nothing on her face to discern that she even sent him the message- or even blinked.

“So… you in?”

-       Of course, 606, whatever you need.

-       He nodded. She kept typing.

“Come and see me in my room then?”

-       Aahhh, so that’s how she was going to hide it- she was going to pretend they were going to sleep together. That was something he often found weird in the Agency- they didn’t care or discourage the formation of relationships between agents- probably believed if you got attached they could always use the partner as insurance or worse, incentive.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you in there.”

-       When he arrived she was in full combat gear, she was ready to fight her way out if needed. They went over the plan over and over again, whispering directly into each other’s ears so that not even the bugs in their rooms could pick up what they were saying. Also with occasional moan or shudder it seemed like they were just making out.

-       Her room was just above the route the laundry trucks would ride out from and she had managed to make contact with one of her friends from the outside- come midnight she, they, would jump down and escape this hell hole. They only had one chance to do this- the other agents on duty would notice a paused truck and would respond immediately.

-       The clock ticked by and before they knew it, it was 11:59 and the faint rumble of an engine could be heard, the soft hiss of the brakes beneath her window.

-       “In case I die,” she uttered, her face stoic and unmoving, “I want you to know- my name, it’s not 606. They wanted me to forget but I will never forget. My name is MC.”

-       It was like a punch to his chest, the sound of her name. It ignited something in him that he never thought he would have the chance to feel, to experience. Not there. To find her there amongst all the sin and evil that they do, he knew how to spot a miracle when God sent one.

-       “You’re not going to die MC, I promise,” he replied as he held her to him in a bone crushing embrace, “I promise.”

“Your name, 707- if I die, I want to know your-”

“Didn’t I just say that you weren’t going to die MC?” he chuckled as her helped out of the window, “I, Saeyoung Choi, promise you.”

-       The look on her face as she said his name would have been enough to take him to his grave. To see her face light up with joy and surprise as if someone had turned on a light inside of her, that would be one of his most treasured memories.

-       His sharp ears caught the sounds of rushed footsteps down the hall.

-       He pushed her roughly before she was ready and heard a loud snap of something when she fell onto the truck. MC was bowed forward, holding onto her right foot that had landed awkwardly and bent inwardly- her face contorted into silent screams.

-       Saeyoung made the sign of the cross as he backed away from the window to do a run up. God please- I just found her- don’t take her away from me.

-       He landed beside her, coiling his arms around her protectively as he laid her down to see the damage to her ankle- it was bad but nothing that some doctor couldn’t fix.

-       He beamed down at her, cupping her face tenderly…

-       As he tried desperately to ignore the barrage of agents chasing after the both of them.

-       Saeyoung gently caressed her features with his fingers, desperate to feel everything under his touch, etch it into his mind.

-       “You lie down here and keep safe okay? I’m going to go and hold them off-”

“No! You can’t do that! They’ll torture you to death!” she cried sitting up, screaming out in pain as she accidentally moved her foot. He shushed her, looking forward to see that they were nearly clear of the base… she was so close to being free.

“Shh, shhh- it’s okay MC. It’ll be okay. I promise,” he reassured her, his eyes crinkling so much that little droplets of tears dotted his auburn lashes.

“No it won’t be-”

“I’ll find you. I promise. I’ll find you.”

“Saeyoung!”

-       He jumped off the truck and refused to allow himself to look back at her- if he did, he would never be able to leave her side.

-       MC ignored the searing pain rushing up her leg to twist her body to watch her Soulmate’s noble sacrifice. One man, two, twelve men on him… he had no chance.

-       “Saeyoung!” she croaked, her voice stifled by her despair.

-       You promised…

-       707: WAIT

        Yoosung: Why?
       
        Zen:??

        707: Think someone entered the chat room;;

        Jumin: MC…?

-       Saeyoung smiled to himself as he traced the location and turned on the camera.

-       Promised I would find you.

 



Saeran:

-       He had been searching for months under her orders. Months and no one was right. He was about to give up hope, that he would have to send in one of their own to infiltrate the damned RFA… but then she appeared.

-       Like a gust of wind on a scorching day or the breath of air coursing through starved lungs- she blew into his life and turned it upside down.

-       He would follow her and watch her from afar. He would tap in and listen to her conversations- not because he was interested in what she was saying- he just wanted to hear her voice.

-       Her friend was laughing on the other line, “Oh… MC… you’re too much!”

-       Saeran fell to the floor, his knees smarting from the hard concrete. No- NO!

-       He crawled underneath his desk and curled up into a tight ball, his arms hugging his knees as he lightly rocked back and forth. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, made him jittery and on edge. No- he was warned against this. Was told that if he ever felt this that it was wrong, that he should only love the Saviour and their cause. That the call of someone else was evil, that it was the work of the corrupted

-       But he was already corrupted, no matter how many times they drugged him and made him try to forget- he knew he was… but MC-

-       She was perfect, absolutely perfect.

-       Unfortunately, the Saviour agreed.

-       It was hard to have something of your own in Mint Eye, something private, something sacred.

-       He had to get her back.

-       They had sent her to infiltrate an organisation full of desperate and lonely people- the most kind and innocent person sent into a den of wolves to feast upon. He had to save her.

-       He was frantic, he sent her conflicting messages- wanting to scare her away from Mint Eye but wanting her to stay away from them- especially Saeyoung. If any of them saw even half of what he saw in her… they would steal her away.

-       Finally the Saviour said it was time to claim their prize back, that since he was so good he could take her for himself- keep her safe himself. He was so happy. But when he got to the apartment, as he scaled the building and broke through the window to reach her… she was not as happy to see him.

-       She was screaming. She was backing away from him. She was afraid.

-       He couldn’t think straight- this wasn’t right. She was supposed to be happy to see him, to come with him willingly. Wasn’t that what Soulmates were about? The moment he knew her name-

-       That was it… he knew her name but she didn’t know his… to her he was…

-       “I’m from Paradise. You don’t know this but you were invited too… I know it took some time for me to come for you… now let’s go together… you look scared, don’t be. I won’t hurt you… endless parties, overflowing love, joy without pain… I’ll save you… You invited someone? Maybe… Luciel Choi?”

“MC- Are you hurt?”

“I-I’m fine!”

“I… I don’t know who you are… but let go of her!”

-       No. Not Luciel. The actor. The pretty one. Of course she would fall for the pretty one.

-       “No.” She’s mine. She’s meant for me.

“If you don’t, I’ll have to use force to protect my girl.”

I don’t want to do this.
“You move a single inch, you see this switch here? I’ll press it.” I won’t.

“What do you want?!”

-       The truth then.

-       “To escape this place safely with the RFA planner… If you don’t want to activate the bomb you better stay still. Just watch as I take… “your girl” and disappear.”

-       The pain in his arm paled in comparison to the ache in his heart when she pulled away from him to run into the arms of another man. Away from him. Always away.

-       Never his.

-       Meant to be his.

-       “My name… My name was Saeran.”




V:

-       It was the school for the rich and gifted.

-       Some more rich and others more gifted.

-       Most loved it there. Some merely tolerated it.

-       One person hated it.

-       Brought in through a scholarship to show how the school was “giving back to the community”, bringing in the charity case and parade them around like their latest trophy.

-       Well this trophy didn’t like the case she was put in. She didn’t like the people who thought they could polish her up and make her shine to their standards. She didn’t like them at all.

-       Especially those that shone the brightest- it hurt to look at them, like the sun- blindingly beautiful but dangerous.

-       None shone more so than V.

-       Pfft.

-       Who the hell named their child V? What pretentious jackass does that?

-       Wasn’t it enough that he went strutting around with his best friend, waving and talking to the more common folk? Wasn’t it too much that he went around taking photos of people and landscapes and saying pompous things like “everything is beautiful and everything is art?” Wasn’t it over the top that he had the gall to act all sweet and kind and look like some sort of bronzed Greek God? WASN’T IT?!

-       MC breathed in trying to calm herself. For the better part of the last six months she had spent it running, hiding and keeping her distance from him. He seemed hell bent on seeking her out and trying to talk to her- well she wanted nothing from him! No help! No charity! No pity! Just to be left alone.

-       During a study period, she was cornered by none other than that trust fund kid’s best friend, super-mega trust fund kid the first, Jumin Han.

-       He chose the desk right next to hers although almost every other desk was available, which only meant he wanted to speak to her.

-       “Why do you hate V?” he asked so bluntly she was surprised by it. She sat up from her prone position laying along the desk and twisted slightly to face the man to her left. She propped her head on her hand and gave him a long, pointed stare.  

-       “I… I don’t know. I just do. From his perfect hair to his perfect persona to, god even his name pisses me off! V! There are just some people that you’re not meant to get along with and he and I are obviously not meant to be besties,” she huffed as she rested the front of her torso back down against the desk, resting her chin atop her crossed arms.

-       “I told him,” he clicked his tongue as he shook his head ruefully, crossing his arms like a disappointed adult to a child… or small pet. “I told Jihyun that you were certifiable. Who hates someone just because of what they can see? Without even getting to know them?”

-       Her fingers dug into the worn wood of the table beneath her.

-       Jihyun… now that was… that was a name she liked. Her breath escaped her lungs as she whirled around so fast she almost lost balance on her seat. That name made her feel soft and fuzzy and loved- she had never even met him and she was already in love with him. Jihyun, a good and noble man who wanted nothing more than to love and care for the woman he loved and to be loved and cared for in return. A man who would make them such horrible breakfasts on Sunday when they were married that they would inevitably go out and eat at a restaurant- yet he never stopped trying. Because he loved her and one day he wanted to get it right. A man who would stay in and read the paper to her as she lay in between his legs and slept on his chest- he wouldn’t even move at all for fear she’d wake or be disturbed.

-       She loved that name.

-       Her heart beat faster and suddenly she couldn’t control her extremities, her legs were bouncing up and down in excitement and her hands unsure of where to place themselves, every place awkward compared to the thought of her hands being linked with his. It didn’t feel right- to be on her own, not now she knew his name.

-       “Who?” she meekly asked the ebony haired prince next to her. He was fiddling with a loose thread on his blazer sleeve, pulling at the strand until it came out completely. “Jumin- who?” she repeated hoping that her insistence would be enough to show him how important it was for her to know who this man was.

-       He gave her a perplexed look, thoughtful eyes glided over her form as if he were trying to ascertain whether she was joking or not. His eyes widened and his mouth pressed into a thin line when he quickly realised that she wasn’t asking in jest, she was completely serious.

“Jihyun… Jihyun Kim is V’s real name. The man you so ardently hated?” he answered, his mouth twitching up into a wry smile.

-       Damn it.

-       MC violently pushed herself back from the desk with both hands before she started running to the last place she had seen V- Jihyun. He was entering the dark room just as she was heading to the study hall. The light was on meaning he was developing something… she should be patient…

-       … but all those months… all those wasted months- how could he forgive her? She didn’t know but she had to try!

-       The light flicked off and she knocked, waiting for him to call out that it was okay and that she could come it. She slowly opened the door and closed it behind her.

-       Less than five steps away was Jihyun, pulling down some developed photos.

-       He was right. Everything was beautiful. Everything was art.

-       He was art.

-       And she was just some dumb pedestrian trying to look at the piece and critique it without having all the history and facts behind it, not knowing the mastery it took to create it. The love that went into it. Fool.

-       He turned to her and she swore that the blue of his eyes was just that little bit bluer, the tone of his hair that much deeper and his lips, full and perfect and so ready for her to kiss she couldn’t believe there was ever a time she wanted to slap his smile off. Now she’d do anything to keep it there forever.

-       What’s in a name? Everything. What did Shakespeare know?

-       “I… I’m so sorry,” she cried, prostrating herself in a deep bow.

-       Startled, V set aside his print and pulled the bowing woman up and forced her to look at him.

“What for? I’m not aware of anything you’ve done that would warrant an apology,” he replied good naturedly, his kind smile warming her to her bones.

“I have been terrible to you and only because… for some unknown reason- I couldn’t stand your name. What it stood for, what you seemingly stood for,” she confessed, her cheeks burning under the harsh lights.

-       V reached behind her and turned on the dark room red lights once again- to save her from embarrassment.

-       “I know- it’s okay MC, you don’t have to explain. I know my name is the problem,” he admitted with a careless shrug. MC gawked at him, how could he know? How could he possibly know?! “I’ve known since the first day when I felt the bond but you did nothing but run away from me- I knew that my name was faulty and that although you may be my Soulmate- that I simply was not yours.”

-       All this time, he thought he was the problem. That she didn’t love him because his name was faulty, that he was faulty.

-       Her heart shattered and she bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She almost ruined this man, she continued to pile hurt upon hurt on him and now there she was telling her how much she loved him… well… that was what she wanted to do, whether or not she could do it not was the other question.

-       “No… I… I was just stupid. I thought your name was V, not Jihyun. There was nothing wrong with your name- there is nothing wrong with you. I… just, wanted to let you know that. You’re amazing. You’re perfect and I want to get to know you, just as you are.”

-       Even in the dark, the brightness from his smile could be seen.

-       “You do?” the hope in his voice evident, taking the first steps to close the gap between them.

“I do. I want the chance to know the real Jihyun,” she beamed.

“I would love nothing more than that, MC,” he replied, encircling his arms around her body.

-       Well what do you know, they were a perfect fit.

anonymous asked:

what happens after they both figure it out??? do they pine they definitely pine but??? more hcs please? i love you

i love you too dear anon this is for you

  • i’m not sure entirely how it would first go, but i imagine they’re laying around and keith is really intensely playing with lance’s fingers (like really intensely he looks like he’s trying to x-ray vision them u ok there buddy?) 
    • and lance is just watching him and it hits him full force his heart literally starts aching and he just pulls his hand away 
    • keith is confused for a second and kind of like :’( until lance cradles his jaw and says in a slightly trembling voice “can i kiss you right now?” 
    • the answer is yes 
  • they try to hide it for a while because they’re afraid it might mess up the team dynamic 
    • except they try hiding it by not touching each other as much,, which is when they realize how much they were touching each other and they’re both like “how did we even go this long without realizing?” 
    • shiro eventually asks if something is wrong between them because he notices they’re standing apart a lot (on a separate note have you noticed how often these two are standing next to each other in canon it’s like they’re drawn to each other i’m fjdsal;k)  
    • keith, smooth as ever, just blurts out “I KISSED HIM” 
    • shiro is a little surprised but he just smiles softly and is like “that’s great, keith. i already thought you had, though?”
    • keith: did EVERYONE know except us???  
  • they’re teenagers you know,, so they’re always all over each other
    • keith’s hair is literally always a mess
    • sometimes it’s braided but it half falls apart because lance can’t stop running his hands through his hair when they’re kissing
    • keith, mumbling into lance’s mouth: you’re ruining your work 
    • lance: worth it 
    • someone knocks on the door once and they scramble to put their shirts on and open it like “hey, nothing interesting happening here!” except,, they’re wearing the wrong shirts,, a mess 
    • or,, hunk, peering at keith’s neck very closely: dude, what are those purple marks? are you ok? they look like bruises? 
    • keith, flustered and tugging at his collar: NOTHING IT S NOTHING just my… galra genes!!! yeah!! my galra-ness kicking in!! you know how it is!! 
  • lance unabashedly flirting over the coms
  • they’re literally so sappy and cheesy all the time. they’re that couple that has an entire conversation using eye contact and forgets to explain what’s going on to the rest of the team  
  • lance pretty much moves in keith’s bedroom. keith pretty much steals all his shirts and doesn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore (he had like 5 already and when lance finds them he won’t leave him alone about it) 
  • thank youu 
Can you just let me hold you? // Shawn Mendes

authors note: This is based off Sweater Weather and I’m going to be honest I found this so difficult to start so sorry if it sucks I just really wanted to post something for you guys :)

Reqested: yes 


“Come on Shawn,” I call, laughing at his unenthusiastic expression. I run towards to the waves that are crashing against the shore, feeling the sand between my toes.

“Y/n,” I hear Shawn shout my name and then a moment later his hands are wrapped around my waist, picking me up and swinging me around in a circle.

“Put me down,” I squeal, thrashing in his arms while his shoulders shake in laughter. Instead of placing my body back down on the sand, I”m chucked over his shoulder as he carries me back up to the beach house we rented for the week.

“It’s too cold to go swimming today baby,” Shawn chuckles, rubbing an area of my exposed skin that is covered in goosebumps.

“But we only have a 5 days left,” I argue halfheartedly, letting him take me inside the house and up the stairs. He drops me on the bed and I laugh, scooting up till my back leans against the pillows.

“It’s going to start raining any second,” He comments, eyes drawn to the window where dark clouds are beginning to form.

“I love when it rains,” I voice, pulling the throw that was on the bed, across my body.

“If you were cold you should have just asked me,” Shawn grins and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What do you mean-” I’m cut off by Shawn pulling my leg towards him so that I’m laying on my back. He climbs on top of me, covering my body with his so that his body heat transfers to me.

“This was your plan all along wasn’t it,” I laugh, feeling his breath tickling my neck.

“Pretty much,” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I wrap my arms around his back, feeling the smooth muscles on his back tense at my touch. He relaxes into me as I softly massage his shoulder blades.

“We have to make dinner soon,” I mumble into his ear, removing one hand just to tangle it in his hair instead.

“Way to ruin the moment,” He groans, tightening his hold on me.

“Sorry,” I glare at him mockingly and he squeeze’s my side in response.

“Can you just let me hold you for a moment okay?” Shawn whispers, kissing my collarbone softly. I let myself fall slack into his embrace. 

“Does it usually feel like this?” I whisper, my skin tingling wherever Shawn’s lips press soft kisses to.

He pauses, lifting his head to meet my eyes.

“I would hope you don’t feel this way with other people,” He smirks, resting his forearms on either side of my head and holding himself up so that the tip of his nose was inches from mine.

“Shawn,” I mumble, tugging his shirt in a childish way that causes him to chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure that what we feel for each other is extraordinary,” He presses his lips to mine and I let the motion carry me away in a swirl of emotions. 

I wasn’t in the beach house anymore, it was like I was floating. Just Shawn and I and the butterflies that always erupted every time Shawn did something remotely romantic.

“I can never seem to get enough of you,” Shawn says against my lips and grin, holding him closer to me.

“I hope you never do.”

Originally posted by fearless-man

Not that kind of friends

Request: @spiderween   37+41 with Steve, please! Can’t wait

Prompts:   37) “You’re so cute when you’re tired, you know.”

41) “When did you get so beautiful?”

Words: 1000

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Fluffy, so much fluffy

Thank you @widowsfics  for beta this for me 

Credit to the gif owners 

Everyone knows that couple of friends. That kind of that are not really friends but they are not really lovers. You can see all the love and how much they care about each other but they never really admit those feelings out loud.

You grow up watching these friends and you never truly understood why they never said anything to each other until now. 

Since you met Steve, you fell in love with him. He was kind, sweet and really easy to look at.  He made you feel safe, protected and when you were around him you only felt happiness.

You suspected that he felt the same way about you for a while now, he was always hugging you and giving you forehead kisses. He treated you with so much gentleness, nobody ever treated you like that: like you were something so precious that need it to be taken care for.

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2

Hey my dudes, I made some doodles that I wanted to share. They may look like random sketches to you, but the fact is, they are not ! Those are the first pictures of my sona represented as a FtM that I share publicly on the internet. Out of the closet you go, wooosh !

So yeah, I’ve been slowly making up my mind about it, about who I am. I mean, the thought has been creeping on my mind for years, but it took time to actually stop and listen to it for a second.

I haven’t started T or anything yet, but things are evolving slowly. I don’t know about you my friends, but in France, the whole admnistrative process takes very long. It’s okay tho, it’ll happens eventually. I’ve got some pretty cool binders in the meantime that I use since quite some times now ! I’m gonna stop there since I don’t really like sharing this much of myself, but hey, you understood the point of this.

Tho I feel the need to end my little rambling by thanking everybody on this website. Tumblr actually helped me building up confidence to talk about this matter. I feel safe sharing my thoughts here, and that’s important.

ps: jackal guy is my boyfriend, I felt like including him as well as he has been very supportive since the beginning. a round of applause for supportive special ones !

Love in Attack on Titan

“There is no love in Attack on Titan….” 

I beg to differ. There are many kinds of love expressed in the Attack on Titan world. Here are a few examples I have found (and have been obsessed over).  Warning, spoilers ahead. 

FAMILY LOVE 

Carla and Kuchel were such great, selfless mothers who wanted nothing more than their child’s safety. It may have been brief, but their willingness to sacrifice everything for their child is admirable. Also, I had to add Eren and Mikasa cause  look…

When Eren thought he had no one left in his family, he suddenly looked back and briefly looked at Mikasa. This was such a sweet moment for him to realize that he still has a family member left to protect. The love between them is undeniable. 


LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS (FRIENDSHIP) 

 Friendship could also be just as passionate as romantic love. 

Look at Eren and Armin

The two have been supporting and assuring each other nonstop. Eren whole heartedly trusts in Armin in many situation, and Armin believes in Eren’s strength/spirit. Also, both have sacrificed their lives for each other! They definitely do love each other. 

Reiner and Bertolt also are like Eren and Armin. Even though both have flaws, they still give each other their full support and love. 


ROMANTIC LOVE

Do I need to say anything for this one? It was satisfying and enjoyable to watch their love story in season 2. All their moments were so cute~


TRAGIC LOVE

Sorry… There are so many of tragic love in this series… :( Three of these tragic love didn’t even get the chance to blossom into romantic love (Bertolt, Petra, and Marlowe). Bertolt didn’t even get the chance to save Annie or confess his feelings for her… I’m pretty sure Petra had a crush on Levi (or Oluo… Idk but most likely Levi) and never had a chance to experience marriage. And right before Marlowe’s death, he started to realize his hidden feelings/thoughts about Hitch. Ugh, my heart… 

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