but please don't do anything dumb

there's a new app or something
  • Girl: Did you get the new app?
  • Boy: What app?
  • Girl: The new app, stupid.
  • Boy: What does it do?
  • Girl: It's new! Check it out. *fires up app*
  • New App: *in a fresh and cool voice* Welcome to the new app.
  • Boy: I still don't understand what it does.
  • Girl: You can press this button here and it checks for the latest version of the new app. Watch. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. There are ZERO new updates.
  • Girl: Isn't it cool?
  • Boy: I'm really not into it.
  • Girl: C'mon. You have to be. Everyone's using it.
  • Boy: I'm not really into the same things everyone else is.
  • Girl: You're always such a hispter, but that's your choice.
  • Boy: Yeah, it's my choice and I'm proud of it.
  • *later, elsewhere*
  • Group of People: Wow, the new app rules, right? I love it. I like booping it to see if there's any new updates. We should all boop it now. No, I think we should wait. You're stupid. Yeah, let's all boop it forget the other guy. *boopboopboopboopboopboop*
  • New App: Bbbooooppppp rreeecciiieeeevvvveeedddd. Ooonneeeeee nnnnnneewwww uuuuppppdddaaaattttteeeeeee aaaaavvvvvvvaaaillllllabbbbbl-
  • Boy: *watching from afar* What a bunch of sheep. How can they get excited over a stupid app that does nothing. It's mob mentality if I've ever seen it. One person downloads a useless app, so everyone else has to. Thank god that I'm appless and entirely free from banal social dogma.
  • New App: New update has finished downloading. Activating new feature, outcast locater. One outcast located directly to the south of your group. He's watching from the alleyway.
  • Boy: Huh?
  • Group of People: *rush over the alleyway* Whoa, there really was a guy watching us from the alleyway! What a weirdo! Does he really not have the app? No one doesn't have the app, it's the newest app. Hey, do you not have the app?
  • Boy: I have to go.
  • Group of People: Don't go! Why don't you have the app? Actually, fuck off if you don't have the new app, freak!
  • Boy: *runs away* Why did they all gang up on me like? *stomach growls* Now I'm hungry after running like that. I best go to that sandwich shop over yonder and eat a... hmmm sandwich.
  • Cashier: Hello, sweetie. What kind of sandwich can I get you today?
  • Boy: Just a bread sandwich. Like, a sandwich with three slices of bread and meats, vegetables, cheeses, or condiments.
  • Cashier: *phone vibrates* Hold on, sweetie. The new app is booping me, there might be a new update.
  • New App: Hey, do you see the kid standing in front of you?
  • Cashier: You mean that very cute boy?
  • New App: Yes, him. He doesn't have the new app.
  • Cashier: What!?
  • New App: It's true.
  • Cashier: You have the new app, don't you?
  • Boy: Well, no.
  • Janitor: *stops mopping the floor* That's kind of weird.
  • Cashier: It's actually very weird.
  • Boy: I don't understand what the big deal is, it's just a dumb app.
  • Cashier: It's not dumb, everyone's using it!
  • Janitor: *locks the doors* It's suspicious that you're not using it, son. Why don't you take a seat and wait here for a moment.
  • Cashier: Yeah, me an my colleague, the janitor, have to talk. Your sandwich will be out in a moment.
  • Boy: *nervously sits*
  • *the janitor and cashier huddle behind the counter and whisper to each other*
  • Boy: *internally* This is ridiculous. Why is this stupid app getting me into so much trouble. I'm not required to download it. It's just an app. So why is everyone getting so aggressive about it.
  • Cops: *knock at the door*
  • Janitor: *lets them in* Welcome officers.
  • Cops: So we hear that someone isn't using the new app, eh?
  • Janitor: Yes officer, he's sitting right over there. He's terrible! TERRIBLE!
  • Cops: Calm down, sir. We'll take care of this. *walks over to the boy, very authoritatively* Hello, son. Now, don't be intimidated just because we're cops and all. We simply want to know why you aren't using the new app.
  • Boy: I don't know, I just don't feel like using it.
  • Cops: But you realize it's the most innovative app to be released in the past decade. It was developed by Darkheart Studios, and you know those Darkhearts always make good stuff.
  • Boy: I just don't get why I have to download it. Like, what's the big deal? All it does is update itself.
  • *cops look at each other puzzled*
  • Cops: *phone vibrates* Oh, looks like the app has something to tell us. Lemme just give it a boop. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. New has update finished downloading. Activating new feature, extermination of the sacrilegious. Kill the boy, officers. End his miserable life.
  • Cops: Are you telling us to shoot the boy because he hasn't downloaded the app.
  • New App: Not necessarily, but any means of extermination is sufficient.
  • Cops: I don't think we should kill the boy. The new app is great an all, but not worth killing over. In fact, it's getting kind of old. I think we should take the boy down to the station for safe keeping while we figure out what's going with this here bizarre app. Hey there, little guy... oh.
  • Boy: *gone*
  • Cops: He's gone. Now where did he run off too?
  • Boy: *runs panicked down the street, the cellphone of every single person vibrating and ringing as he passes them*
  • Boy: *runs into his house and locks himself in his bedroom* What did I do to deserve this? I should just download the app and spare myself this hell. No! I refuse, I won't fall in with trends like all the sheeple. I'm special. I'm different.
  • Sister: *knocks at the boy's bedroom door, clutching a knife behind her back* Little brother, open up. I have to talk to you about something. It's important.
  • Boy: I don't feel like talking, leave me alone.
  • Sister: Come on, I'm your sister. You can trust me, open up. *tries to force the door open* Open the fucking door!
  • Boy: You're acting crazy, leave me alone!
  • Sister: Fine. *stomps off*
  • Boy: *hides under his blankets*
  • *a cacophony of cellphone notification sounds come from outside of the bedroom window*
  • Boy: *sheepishly peaks out the window, his blanket still wrapped around him*
  • *a mob of people, some armed with weapons stand in his backyard*
  • Leader of the Mob: Kid, we all know you didn't download the new app. Unfortunately, the app says we gotta kill you unless you do. I personally think that's unreasonable, but it is the new app after all, and who am I to question it?
  • Boy: Fuck your stupid app! It doesn't even do anything!
  • Leader of the Mob: What a bad attitude. It's the new sensation.
  • Boy: You're sheep!! You're all stupid sheep!! I'm never downloading the stupid fucking app!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Then we have to burn down your house, kid.
  • Boy: My dad is super rich and influential. If you burn down my house, he'll have you guys taken care of.
  • Dad: *from the mob* I actually support them, son. It's disconcerting to me as a father that you don't have the new app when everyone else does. I could support your through anything, but not this.
  • Boy: Wha- dad!? Argh! Just burn the house! I don't care! I'm not afraid to die!! At the end of the day, I'll be a martyr and you'll all still be fucking nobodies!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Whatever ya say, kid. *tosses torch at the house*
  • *the rest of the mob follows and the house quickly goes up in flames*
  • Boy: I guess this is it. This is how I die. All over a dumb app that doesn't do anything but boop.
  • *flames reach the bedroom window*
  • Boy: Oh god, oh god, oh god! I've changed my mind! I don't want to die!! *frantically pulls out his phone as the flames grow and downloads the new app*
  • New App: *boop* Thank you for downloading the new app, boy. Now, you've been forgiven. You may live. Please be sure to boop me to check for updates.
  • Boy: I feel so fucking stupid, but at least I'll live. I just have to get out of here.
  • Boy: *rushes into the hallway, but the flames have engulfed the entire house*
  • *the ceiling collapses, trapping the boy in the hallway and ceiling any exits*
  • Boy: No! Someone help me! *coughs* I'm sorry! Please help! I downloaded the app!
  • Boy: *curls up in fetal position* I don't want to die. Fire fighters will come and save me or something like that, I'm sure of it! I'm so scared! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! It can't end like this!
  • *The End*

trashy-scribbles  asked:

Okay, Jamilton and Jeffmads are good and all. But, please consider: Jeffayette (TJeff and Laf (i don't know if they already have a name)). Imagine how while TJeff would be an arrogant bum, he would also be supportive of Laf and just very gentle, not do anything that Laf wouldn't want. And Laf would be his tol French boyfriend who would take him out on cute dates to the cinema or the local theme park and buy him dumb souvenirs that TJeff would keep despite how stupid they are. Just. Jeffayette.

Tall boys dating in France ❤️
Sleepy mornings on the balconies and drinking wine under the moon light. Cuddling and holding hands and sweet passionate kisses

I believe that asexuals should be allowed in the lgbt+ community and if you disagree I would like to ask you to please block me because tbh I’m tired of seeing this discourse on my dash. And if you’re ace and also tired of seeing this discourse please know that my blog is a safe space and also if I do post anything that is dumb please tell me.

“The writers turned Miles gay”

“I don’t want Miles to be bi. I want him to be straight so I can date him”

“OMG. Nothing against gays but I want Miles and Maya”

“Miles is just using Tristan”

anonymous asked:

About the latino people (hate it when non latino people write "latinx" wth? claiming to respect spanish but butchering it like that?) I can assure you we don't give a shit about "la chancla" jokes or dirty jokes in spanish. Chicanos and 2nd and so forth generation of latino (& non latinos) people can be soooo annoying with this. We are are amazed people like our little fun & dumb jokes/stereotypes. We WANT to share this. It's funny, and promotes friendship. Please, DO share nice, funny jokes!

( Anon from latino rant, lol) I just wanna make it clear I’m not mad at you, just at this “DONT SHARE ANYTHING!! [insert ethnic group here] MIGHT FIND THIS OFFENSIVE!!! Like, as an actual mexican, born & raised in México, from parents who were also born and raised in here (from parents born & raised here… and so on), I can assure you, I laugh and laugh when tumblr says "don’t make this or that, don’t appropriate Día de los Muertos, don’t make chancla jokes, DON’T JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING!” (cont)

(Cont) because WE DON’T CARE! These are nice, cool jokes, and we love it when people are interested in our traditions! Go be mad at the actual offensive things, like those “illegal aliens” costumes, at the actual shitty things that happen here in my country, not at this “cultural appropriation” all because of a goddamn chancla joke!!! TUMBLR NEEDS TO STOP! Mexico and other latino countries have actual problems and these are not them! STOP!!!

ohh thank you for this!

anonymous asked:

CAN I HAVE YOUR EYELASHES PLEASE SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHY DO GUYS GET LONG EYELASHES THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING WITH THEM ???!111?? lmao sorry ze this is random but SERIOUSLY

YOU DON’T WANT THEM. THEY OFTEN GET CAUGHT IN MY EYE AND I LOOK REALLY DUMB TRYING TO GET THEM OUT. THEN I START TEARING UP FROM IT AND IT LOOKS LIKE I JUST CRIED. BUT ITS TRUE. I DID CRY.

anonymous asked:

For the ask meme!!: "I hate him," Keith plops into his bed on the other side of their dorm and buries his face into a pillow. Pidge quirks and eyebrow but doesn't say anything. Keith rolls to his side. "Just...fuck Lance." "Please don't," Pidge smirks and Keith throws a pillow at her face.

“Not like that!” He defended himself, and Pidge just smirked wider, if that was possible.

“What did he do this time?” Pidge asked, reclining and focusing on her computer again. Keith sighed and shoved his face into the pillows again.

“He told some dumb joke.” Keith groaned. “And then kept looking at me with this dumb smile and he just. Argh. I had to leave so I didn’t grab his dumb face and kiss that dumb smile off his dumb head-”

“I get it.” Pidge said, waving a hand at him and cutting him off. “You’re pining. Hardcore pining.” Keith moaned and rolled over, shoving his face into the pillow more.

“I know.” He whined. Pidge sighed and shook her head.

“You’re in deep, kid.” She said, using the dino pick-up-claw-thing she kept by her bed for some really, really weird reason to pat Keith’s shoulder from across the room.

“I know.” Keith repeated, then looked up at her. “And you’re younger than me, Pidge.” Pidge shook her head and hit him on the forehead with the dino claw.

“Hush, you pining child.” She said. “Listen to your elders.” Keith groaned and shoved the claw away, only to burrow into his blankets.

A few minutes later, he groaned and laughed. Pidge looked over, not surprised.

“What’d he say?” She asked, bored already.

“Fuck you Pidge.” Keith muttered.

anonymous asked:

ALLY PLEASE READ- I feel like this could help a lot of people, and I want to know your thoughts yourself. I know this sounds pretty dumb, but what are things to do with friends that don't involve alcohol? In day and in night? Like where would you go/ what would you do? Can you just list anything you do xx

Oh my goodness SO many things! I can’t remember the last time I had any alcohol.

Activities I love doing with friends:
Going out for breakfast
Movie nights
Hikes
Picnics
Bike rides
Dinner dates
Sleepovers
Study sessions
Long walks
TV show watching with snacks
Visiting markets
Going to the movies
Making videos
Singing along to Taylor Swift in the car
Talking about life’s big questions
Op shopping / regular shopping
Arts and crafts projects
Workout classes
Swimming at the beach or pool
Just chatting about anything
Playing board games and card games
Cooking or making food

SO MANY THINGS