regarding cora, I always viewed her like that she understand it wasn't kid!ryder's choice/fault either. this decision of scott/sara becoming pathfinder was trusted upon them too and it wasn't like they waved the hand a la "pick me". and for me it always came across like cora knew that either and that every snap she does have is always against alec and not his kids. but then i'm also never an ass to her, dunno how the dialogue changes much then.
It’s never against Ryder or about doubting them, it’s her wondering what was Alec thinking. She was supposed to replace him and he threw all plans out of the window. I think she felt blindsided, which is why she put so much hope in Sarissa and other asari. At the time I thought it was a bit vexing (like she’s so sure they’re going to do a better job than me?) but she realizes it’s more complicated than that.
And after her loyalty mission she just… analyses herself in such a way that I couldn’t say anything after that. She had say it all herself.
I gotta say, characters who are self-aware are always one step ahead of everyone and that’s Cora to me.