but oh my god furniture

anonymous asked:

once i was masturbating and going in for a 3rd orgasm but at the same time i really had to pee I didnt pay mind to it but then i just peed all over my bed and blamed it on my dog... shes not allowed on furniture anymore. Im so sorry, Nicki.

OH MY GOD ,,,,,,,,, IM LAUGHING,,,,

//nsfw

I WASNT EXPECTING THAT TO MAKE ME LOWKEY EMOTIONAL BUT IT DID BC THOSE SELFIES GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO FRESHMAN YEAR AND IM BOUT TO BE A SENIOR AND ITS SO FREAKY BC I STILL FEEL LIKE AN 8TH GRADER AND 365 DAYS FROM NOW ILL BE SHOPPING FOR DORM FURNITURE AND PACKING UP FOR COLLEGE AND OH MY GOD HIGH SCHOOL GOES BY SO FAST 

anonymous asked:

you’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

oh. my. god.

send me the dirtiest asks you can think of

anonymous asked:

My first kiss was SAD so be warned. I was in 8th grade and all my friends had already been dating for years and they kind of pressured me into going out with this older boy. We went to the mall and he asked me out and I said yes and he said, I'm quoting here, "cool, wanna make out?" I was mortified, I had never kissed anyone before, and I told him that, but he said it was easy and led me to a couch in a nearby furniture store and I didn't want to but I kissed him. I never told my friends that.

oh my god in a furniture store?????? he sounds real classy. I’m so sorry that your first kiss was shitty tho