but now i'm so tired

[ i’ve become so physically tired as the day progressed i’m ready to punch a pigeon tbqh. ]

I say I’m tired a lot but rn, i’m genuinely tired… but not physically, just with everything that’s happening. i want to sleep for a year

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How can he ignore me like this?

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(off topic posts)

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February 1st marks the second anniversary of my blog ☆*・゜゚・*(^O^)/*・゜゚・*☆ !! I can’t deny that there are many unbearable things on this website, but I can’t say that my tumblr experience was a bad one. I got to know many nice people from different places in the world. The people I follow are all amazing people so I rarely see toxic posts on my dash. My followers are super nice as well that I’ve never received actual anon hate during my two years stay here. To me, this was a place where I could play the nice person without people trying to use me. I’m the devil irl, you just don’t know me. Yes, people usually really get afraid of even talking to me and those who approach me mostly want something in return. This has affected me to the extent that even all the friendships I made online were not initiated by me. However, I was so blessed that many people here has talked to me and I could make new awesome friends. Being able to be nice to people, even though deep inside I know that my tumblr personality is 100% fake, without worrying about how people will take my kindness is one of the most things I liked about this place. I originally made this blog to post graphics, because I love making them but they usually end up with nobody seeing them :c. Thanks to this place, I was able to share them and see many awesome and talented graphics makers. My graphics has improved a lot. I even started manga colouring because of the many inspirational people I follow, and now I can’t stop colouring manga. If there’s one thing I can be grateful to this place for is that it made me start manga colouring. As a person who has no hobby or talent whatsoever, I was glad to find something I can enjoy as a side hobby. Ahem, okay I know this was long but I wanted to say it all now that I might eventually leave this place once and for all because of collage xP.

Last but not least, thanks to all my followers for hitting that button on my blog, thanks to all the amazing people I follow for brightening up my dash, thanks to all the talented graphics makers who could inspire me one way or the other, thanks to every single person who sent me a nice positive message, and finally, thanks to all my tumblr friends for ever being there for me!!

Bold = hover for your message :D

★ A-F

@a-sakuras | @akashis | @allenswalkers | @ayyatos | @bakakawa | @bertholdts | @bohkutos | @chiamis | @cieled | @cloudxstrife | @daiifukuu | @dianthus-s | @dns07 | @draagneels | @edwarddelrics | @envy-and-pride | @equinoxxe | @erwonmyheart | @escarletes | @eternallytrashtastic | @fulllbusters | @futakuchi | @fydgrayman | @fygintama

★ G-L ★

@garekiz | @hebihimes | @heckyeahdeathnote | @hharukas | @hitsougaya@infiniterhapsody | @izumou | @jetzui | @jyuushimatsu | @kammishiro | @kawaiinohime | @keikoku | @khandass | @kirlua | @kisummi | @kkenmah | @kuroona | @kurootetsuros | @lavihs | @littlebratciel | @lleviheichou | @lordzuuko

★ M – R 

@masterciell | @mazusu | @midforde | @mikotoray | @mmakotoz | @moyashies | @mrpikachew | @mukoros | @naruzumake | @nicolasis | @nijimurashuuzo | @nobuchikas | @notthepajamas | @nyxnperona | @ohkagura | @oikawahtoorus | @okitahsougo | @psychohelmet | @quinsdecim | @rainnieday | @reishikiz | @rose-selavy | @ryoutakises | @ryuzakki

★ S-Z 

@saikogasm | @saitosshimaru | @sakatashit | @salujah | @sawtsuki | @serragakis | @sexuoh | @shhinah | @shreya-chan | @sinsukes | @suzakkus | @suzuyas | @technolyzed | @tincampys | @tobiios | @trafalgar-dlaw | @tsutsui | @ttouken | @ttoushirou | @ukiinas | @ulquioras | @worldofglass | @yatamisakie | @yattygamis | @yegas | @ykanda | @yorozuyas | @yozoras | @zeino

+Blogroll

Sorry if I misspelled any URL xD

“I seriously need the largest cup of coffee you can find if your planning on getting me off this sofa today… Or a better method as to getting me to wake up.”

Hey late night Tumblr peeps!

So I’m very excited about my big collab I have coming up this weekend. I’ve already got 20 YouTubers’ finished videos and I have 46 people confirmed. I’ll probably round the number to 50 in the video to be honest. No biggie.

However, on the topic of the collab, I talked a lot about it during my live show last week. Due to the nature of things, I wanna just put some stuff out here which deliberately has not much context. I saw some comments about my show on a YouTube video so I just wanted to clarify a weird thing… Cherry Wallis is going to be in my collab. Yes. Cherry. From Birmingham. I hadn’t wanted to reveal any names yet, but figured in the liveshow I’d cheekily give one away as her name fit my sundae analogy so well. I even snapped at the wordplay. I’m a bit surprised not many of you picked up on that, but I guess that just means I’m better at keeping secrets than some people would make you believe! *airhorn.wav*

I don’t know how many people that left random comments on this video actually follow me on Tumblr, but I’m assuming if they did, they’d read this post and go “ooooooh….oh…” and if you’re a random passerby confused as to why I needed a wall of text to announce one friend was in my video, enjoy your blithe state. 

This is the vaguest, yet least vague post I’ve ever made. 

While you’re here though and I’m still jetlagged looking at the clock and thinking, I figured I would chat about that thing that happened this morning. For the most part, I hold negative people from me with a 6 foot pole. Living with Dodie has been a blessing as she’s always full of positive energy. I will miss her greatly. However, I do know many people that thrive on negativity. I don’t make it a mission to hang out with these people. If I’ve had to “stand up” for friends who these people will happily talk shit about behind their backs continuously as if their lives revolve around it then I try to avoid them in person as much as online. I’ve always disliked the notion of “YouTube cliques” and for the most part, I don’t consider myself part of any of these “boxes” of friendship groups. I don’t pretend to be friends with everyone. I consider myself light friends with a many, but I only truly have 4 close friends, Dodie, Connie, Gabby, and Lucy. I hang out with lots of people and I get on really well with many more, but if I’m ever upset about something (losing job/moving/etc) I can always rely on these 4 to help me. Each interestingly enough has their own group of friends separate from the rest for the most part as well. 

In terms of negativity, I don’t post any. At the end of the day, I’d like to have that as a personality trait. At Playlist Live 2 years ago when I had a chat with Louis I realised I’d never once heard him say a negative thing about a soul. I thought that was such an amazing quality and so I began to transform myself that way. The only reason I’ll get involved in anything nowadays is if I wanna make a joke about it. For instance, I’ve never met the Fine Bros and tbh I haven’t ever watched one of their videos spare the one that blew up, but I didn’t agree with their trademarking of “react” so I tweeted a joke or 2 about it. For the most part, the joke is about this trademark issue and not really them. Like I said, I don’t know them at all to say anything of them really. Then again that doesn’t stop a lot of people.

But! (this is finally coming around) I don’t wanna see negativity on my twitter timeline especially when it’s against someone I’m also friends with. That’s not cool. Like heaven forbid if someone I know decided to be a dick to Dodie; idk what I’d do. No matter how many times I’ve asked her not to get involved with situations, Dodie will always defend me when I’m needlessly attacked. I’m thankful I haven’t had a chance to return the favour. ANYWAY, after reading the offending post, I just sighed. It was just an old rehashed attack at someone I consider a friend. Half of me was tempted to just unfollow and let it be, but I felt it disingenuous not to at least inform her that I found what she said in poor taste. I didn’t want to get involved past that. It wasn’t my battle nor is it in good taste, especially publicly. 

In the end, Lucy made a great post summing up everything right and wrong with the post and all was well. 

tl;dr

  • Don’t spend your life putting down people you don’t like; it makes you bitter. Raise up people you do like instead. Add positivity to the world; it’s got enough negativity without you.

Wtf I was really tired today so when I got home I crashed and had a nap but that was at like 4.30 and it’s 9 now and I can’t remember if I woke up at any point to eat and all I wanna do is carry on sleeping until tomorrow morning what is happening is this even still 2016 I am so disorientated

wow okay. So my roommate and I just met this group of Asian guys who live a couple floors above us. And we went out to dinner, then played pool, and then just chilled for like 5 hours. And it was so nice because it was so easy to talk to them, especially about music. asdfadf. It was nice. 

So I had my first (sort of) day at the new job today. I say ‘sort of’ because I was only there for like 2 hours lmao (though I was still so tired when I got home that I ended up taking an accidental nap while cuddling with the kitty) because of how their training process works, but still. I actually went to the work for the first time in like a year and a half!

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