but not really soon enough

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Honour the paladins of old.

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@Starbucks one of your baristas was being extremely rude and harrassed me throughout my visit. I am disappointed because I love Starbucks. When I asked her for extra sugar in my coffee she hesitated, and when she gave me it she whispered in my ear “you’ll die soon enough fattie”. It was really rude. Here are pictures of her if you guys needed it for investigation.

customer satisfaction

Originally posted by shitohsehun

woozi x reader smut

20,480 words

a/n: my first woozi fic, my first seventeen fic, my first kpop fic. this was supposed to be something really simple and silly, but my dumb ass had to go and add a bunch of sadness and backstory to it, as always. as you can see, it got dramatically out of hand. i’m so sorry, i hope someone likes it

~ in which you haven’t gotten off in like six months, and lee jihoon is the pleasure specialist, himself. (he’s also a little bit more than that.)


     “I promise you, you won’t regret this,” Wendy reassured you, but they were words she always said right before she convinced you to do something that you definitely would regret. She’d used them very often over the past year, during which she’d somehow persuaded you into going on roughly thirty blind dates that she’d set up in her desperate attempts to get you “back out there.” You knew her heart was in the right place, but every single date had been a disaster. 

     The problem was that if she knew a guy who wasn’t already taken, there was a reason for it. The first set-up been with a guy named Jinho who still lived with his ex-girlfriend (in a one bedroom apartment) and adamantly refused to wear deodorant; one guy, Jinwoo, told you he had recently quit his job and moved back in with his parents because he hadn’t had enough time to play League; you’d tried so hard to will yourself to forget the second to last guy, but how could you forget the name (Daehyun) of someone who sat down across from you and proceeded to ignore you for the whole two hours it took him to eat a salad, baked potato, and two steaks before “suddenly realizing” he forgot his wallet, telling you he didn’t think you were his type, and leaving you to foot the bill.

Keep reading

When all your friends are posting pics with their significant other for Valentine’s Day but you’re still single

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You know, I almost forgot how nice to draw them

When They Get Jealous:

Jeff:

They’ll die. That’s all there too it.

“Was he checking you out?”

“No”

“Did he touch you?”

“No”

“Was he flirting with you?”

“…”

“I’ll be back”

Next Day on The News:

“Jeff The Killer strikes again. This time with a different message on the victim’s wall. The body of teenager Cody Harrison still has not been found. Authorities are still investigating the homicide” The news reporter spoke 

“Jeffery” You take in a deep sigh.

(I own this image btw. Don’t take it without permission)


BEN Drowned: 

He will be (physically) very upfront about it. He will go as far to try to make you moan in front of the person that he got jealous of. A triumph smirk would always appear once his mission was complete. If the jerk doesn’t get the hint and continues to flirt with you, he will kill them. This is what you signed up for when dating the perverted elf ;)

“You’re pretty hot” He spoke, a flirtatious grin crossed his features as the stranger complimented you.

“Thanks but–” You were cut off mid-sentence when your boyfriend BEN walked in between you and the stranger. 

“Excuse me” It wasn’t even a request. BEN hungrily crashed his lips into yours while softly pushing you away from the flirt he was jealous of. A smirk formed on his lips as he felt the presence of the stranger leave.

You parted the kiss to see your boyfriend pouting. “No need to be jealous, baby” You giggled 

“Me? Jealous? Yes” He said, right before he crashed his lips back onto yours.



Laughing Jack: 

Jack won’t admit that he’s jealous at first, you might have to get him to admit it through candy. The only way to tell if Jack is jealous is if you catch him pulling a death prank on his victim.

Jack saw the employee that flirted with you at the Halloween festival yesterday, his victim was jogging to the other end of the crosswalk as the lights turned red while Jack was sitting in the driver’s seat of the school bus he had stolen. Just as his victim stepped foot onto the concrete road he applied so much force on the gas paddle; he crashed into the car in front of him, sending the bus to miss the flirt by inches. Jack sped off as soon as possible to avoid the police before yelling.

“HAHA!! DON’T EVER TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND JACKASS!!” He continued laughing until he reached Slender Mansion.


Ticci Toby: 

Toby would feel really insecure. He’s worried someone other than him would soon enough sweep you off your feet and you’d just forget about him. He never wanted that to happen, but he was too shy to admit he was jealous. You’d have to somehow pick up on the actions of your boyfriend and the only way to notice his jealousy if he was clingy.

“Darls, I’ll see you before 2! I’m gonna meet up with Scott!” You told your boyfriend before you went to see an old friend who had recently come back from their vacation in Greece. 

“N *tic* O! Don’t go!” Toby got up from the couch and speed walked to you. “You *tic* promised we’d *tic* watch the movie *tic* together” 

“I’m sorry Toby but Scott got back from the airport and asked if I could pick him up” You objected

“Nope,” Toby lifted you over his shoulder and carried you back to the coach where you both spent the rest on the night watching Lisa, Lisa.


Eyeless Jack:

Jack trusted you, he knew you would never cheat on him, but he didn’t trust any male you were with. If he got jealous he would come up to you and wrap his arms around your torso until whoever it was walked away. Then he would kindly ask you for permission to eat their organs for his next meal.  

Jack’s arms were still around your torso even after the male nurse left. E.J wanted to try to see if he could take the organs of a soon-to-be-dead person, but the minute he left you one of the male nurses came up to you and started flirting. 

“Can I kill him?” he whispered in the crook of your neck

“Somebody jealous?” You smirked

“What? No! I’m just hungry” You could practically feel his blush under his blue mask. 

“Hmm, sure, he wasn’t that hot anyway” You giggled. 

He chuckled as he kissed you on the cheek.

Secrets Out

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4} {Part 5}

You couldn’t do eat, you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up, and walk yourself over to the kitchen you’ll just remember the memories you made with them, it hurt you so much. You question everything they’ve ever said to you, ever done for you. was it all part of their game? Their bet? You didn’t want to answer, you knew it’ll just hurt you more. (y/f/n) would come check in on you almost daily now, it’s been a week since they told you, a week since you were happy, a week since you didn’t cry your eyes out. (y/f/n) was worried about you, she was mad at them for doing that to you, every time she came to check on you, you got skinnier, paler, she knew how much they meant to you, she knew about how happy the boys made you, she also knew that this broke you. she finally had enough when she went over to your apartment once more to see you almost like a zombie, numb to everything, it hurt her seeing you like that.

She finally had enough. (y/f/n) knew you weren’t ready to face the boys but she was, and she was fuming. she remembered how to get to their house from the countless times she had dropped you off or have done something with them to surprise you. when she made it up to their dorm, she practically banged on the door. Right away Taehyung opened it thinking it was you, his face lit up and then sunk again seeing it was only (y/f/n) “what the hell happened” (y/f/n) said sternly, she was mad but she could see that both sides were hurting just as much as each other, she didn’t want to make anything worse.

“I…”  Taehyung mumbled before looking down at his feet “I don’t know” he walked away from the door signaling (y/f/n) to come in. she called all the members to the living room and sat down waiting for their arrival. When they eventually made their way, she looked at all of them. They all look heartbroken, they all look they’ve been crying for days… “I’m here to talk about y/n” she interrupted the awkward silence. “I-is she ok?” Jimin said softly not showing his face. “no and by the looks of it neither are any of you….” “please tell y/n we are sorry and we want to talk and… that we love her” Jin spoke up “no? what happened to y/n?!” Jungkook said making all the other members look up worryingly, (y/f/n) could see their tired faces. “she… she isn’t eating, barely drinking any water, not moving, she’s just staying in her bed. I tried I really tried to get her up, but she wouldn’t. I need one of you but I don’t know if bringing one of you is a good idea right now….” “please… I hate what we did (y/f/n) can you please just get her to talk to at least one of us?” Hoseok said. “I-I can try. I’ll bring one member with me to her apartment and they can talk ok? Maybe one of you can get her out of her bed. Im worried about y/n…” (y/f/n) said worriedly “we are all worried about y/n” Namjoon and Yoongi practically said in sync. “ok then pick one member to come with me and we will try, yeah?” they talked among themselves before they chose Jungkook to go.

The car ride was more than uncomfortable for both Jungkook and (y/f/n). neither of them knew what to say or how to say it so it was a very quiet car ride. Even though your apartment wasn’t that far away it felt like eternity that they were both stuck in that car with each other.

They finally made it to your apartment building where Jungkook basically jumped out of the car and ran to your door. “c-can I walk in?” Jungkook quietly mumbled to (y/f/n). (y/f/n) opened the door and he ran in, looking for you, (y/f/n) pointed to your closed bedroom door and he walked over there, hesitant to open it at first but when he did, he heard you whimper to yourself. You must be having a bad dream again, usually when you had a bad dream, he would cuddle up to you and you would calm down. But now he didn’t want to touch you, he was afraid to break you, thinking you were the most fragile thing one the planet right now. ‘y/n?” he mumbled. “ugh (y/f/n) I told you I don’t want to talk about it” you said, you thought it was (y/f/n). your voice clearly sounded like you were recently crying, which only made him want to cry with you. when you smelled Jungkook cologne he wears you head spun to see him standing in front of your bedroom door and even though the room was dark you could see his tear stained eyes, his messy hair that looked like it hasn’t been tamed in a week, you saw how he was breathing. You sat up in the bed looking at him and then looking down.

He ran over onto the bed. He looked at you for a while, looking at your eyes, how your face was stained with tears. He grasped you into a hug, it was tight but soft. He didn’t want to break you but he didn’t want to let go either, before you could say anything you felt his body shaking on you, you felt your shoulder dampen. He was crying, like really crying. You just let him cry and soon enough you were crying with him. Crying just as hard as him. You grasped onto his clothes. He hurt you, but you wanted to forgive him, you wanted to forgive all of them. You didn’t like being apart, and now knowing they were probably just as hurt as you. “Jungkook” you mumbled under your breath, “shhh” Jungkook hummed still crying. You didn’t want to let go, neither of you did. When Jungkook did let, you go he stayed on your bed just staring down at your covers, he couldn’t look up to see your face again knowing how much he hurt you, how much all his members hurt you. he never wanted you to feel like that again

“y/n….” Jungkook said with a crack in his voice from the crying “I-I’m so sorry… we were stupid, you mean everything to us, I promise you…” he took you again in his arms just letting you cry it out on his shoulder in your dark room. After what felt like an hour, he helped you out of your bed and into the bathroom, he gave you some fresh clothes, and told you he was going to wait for you in the living room. He cleaned up your apartment as best as he can, not wanted you to see that and get extra stressed. He pulled out some food for you, he noticed how much skinnier you became and it worried him. He made you a soup and waited. After you came out of the bathroom, you changed into the clothes Jungkook gave you, you noticed he picked out all the clothes that the members have gotten for you. you giggled softly while walking out. Right away he looked up from his chair and gave you his biggest bunny smile when he heard your giggle. He loved your laugh, something about it always made him warm inside, call you cute and adorable and just want to hug you and never let go. You looked at the soup he made, gave him a weak smile and ate it happily.

Jungkook thought it would be a good idea to walk to the dorm seeing how it wasn’t that far and how some air could help you out a bit. It was quiet on the way there but it was a comfortable silence, he told you a bit about what the other members have been doing, how they felt about everything, you gave him another weak smile, you didn’t want to think about how hurt the members must have felt.

When you reached the dorm, you took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. the members have been waiting for you it seemed. Their heads shot up at the noise of the door opening. Taehyung ran up to you and hugged you tightly like Jungkook did, but instead of crying, he just held you, when you hugged taehyung back you could feel him let go of a breath he was holding. you felt like he wanted to cry to you, but he wouldn’t. you just hugged him tightly telling him you were better. Hoseok also walked up to you. he looked at you, even though you had washed the tears away, he could tell from your eyes you were crying a lot.

When you had walked past the kitchen into the living room, Namjoon and Yoongi stood up right away. Namjoon looked at you for a bit before coming over to you and hugging you like the rest, he whispered into your ear how sorry he was, and you felt it. Yoongi kept on looking at you. he seemed afraid to walk up to you, to say anything to you, to touch you, he was afraid to hurt you, he didn’t seem to trust himself around you anymore. You walked up to him and you hugged him. He was surprised that you would even want to be near him but he hugged you back, he hugged you and hugged you and never wanted to let go, never want to hurt you again. Even when you backed away from the hug, he held you hand for a bit before letting go. Jin walked up to you fast after you hugged Yoongi and just cried into your shoulder. You shushed him and wrapped your hand around him “I’m so sorry y/n” he said between the crying. “I-its ok” you said while giving a weak smile. You looked around for Jimin, but didn’t seem to find him anywhere. “w-where’s Jimin?” you asked. They all looked towards his bedroom and you walked over slowly opening the door. “Jimin?” you quietly said. He ran up to you with his arms now around you, you cried into his shoulder. “y-y/n I’m so so sorry.” You let go of him he kissed your forehead and you both walked in to the living room. “s-so…”

A/N: wow that was emotional to write lmao. sorry it took me a while to write this part! I’m swamped with school plus writers block has made me not able to write anything soooo sorry lmao. anyways what do y'all think? I’m thinking that there will be at least one or two more parts to this, yeah? Hope you all enjoy this~~ see ya soon~ (also requests are open leave some stuff!)

Please imagine long after the war, Shepard and Garrus pick up dancing as a hobby. Since their little tango on the citadel, they’ve longed to experience it again - the way their bodies moved together, how it expressed emotions better than words could, how it felt like it was just them.

For someone who could never really dance by herself, Shepard’s a quick learner when it comes to dancing with the one she loves and trusts above any other.

They enjoy it so much they decide to enter a dancing competition. Something different, but rewarding. And at every show, no matter what style the dance is or even if they stuff up, they captivate the audience. There’s just something about the two of them dancing together, something so intimate, so real, so… right.

They don’t care if they win. They try, sure, but at the end of the day, they just enjoy the experience as a couple. They couldn’t ask for more.

Fight, fight!!

Since today is the last day of Mermay, here’s another one! Based on a fish I had when I was a kid

The Sexual Awakening of An Innocent Pureblood, Dating The Randy Prat Who Lived - Ch.6

Commencing Phase: Smut of TSAoAIPDTRPWL, @bixgirl1 and I present to you the first of several snog-sessions! And based on where we are currently, we think it’s safe to inform you all that every post/chapter is really fucking long, and soon enough, the posts/chapters will be coming with a set of warnings. *snort* 

Seriously, we may even have to eventually change the title! I mean, these two are just– *shakes head with fond exasperation while trying to pretend that she didn’t consciously turn Draco into a complete…nvm*

So anyway, we’re hoping to post every Friday, Saturday and Sunday - because we have lots of material and we’re impatient and cannot for the life of us maintain the suspense we build. In case we ever miss a post, please bear with us - we love this fic with our whole beings and desperately want to share it with all of you and will do so. Love, @bixgirl1 and me. ❤️


Chapter Six: The Universal Answer to Most Questions: Mouth Pressing

Keep reading

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@molded-from-clay my pen did not quite help the first painting,i am so sorry
But I love ur blog and ur art is so amazing,thank u so much for the request!!

BTS Reaction - Revealing your relationship in an interview

Seokjin [Jin] -

Jin would just smile innocently towards the camera, happy that he didn’t have to keep your relationship a secret anymore. He was prepared for all the questions that were coming his way and would answer them politely, without giving out any personal details about you. Jin didn’t see this as a problem but more of a relief, all the sneaking around was starting to tire him. Now that he didn’t have to came as the biggest comfort to him.

“It was gonna come out sooner or later, right?”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi [Suga] -

Yoongi would probably just smirk, finding the whole thing amusing. He could just imagine you sitting at home and tearing your hair out while staring that the television horrified. He knew the consequences he was going to face once he got home, but to him it was worth it now that he didn’t have to hide you from his fans. Yoongi would laugh about the whole situation and blush a little as the boys teased him.

“She’s going to kill me when I get home.”

Originally posted by sugagifs

Hoseok [J-Hope] -

Hoseok would slap his hand over his mouth, eyes wide while beating himself up in his mind. He couldn’t believe that he just revealed the one thing that he wasn’t supposed to, but now that he did he didn’t see a point to stop. He would tell the most embarrassing stories about you, laughing once the boys joined in who all knew about your relationship from the start.

“I’m too cute for her to be mad at.”

Originally posted by j-cypher-moved

Namjoon [Rap Monster] -

He knew your relationship was going to come into the light soon enough, so he wouldn’t really regret revealing your relationship. He’d just laugh innocently showing his dimples to the camera, knowing you had a weakness for his smile. He wanted to butter you up before he got home, so that when he did you weren’t too mad at him. Namjoon had no shame in disclosing your romantic relationship, he’d just give out an amused, 

“Oops?”

Originally posted by rapmini

Jimin -

Jimin knew he messed up the moment the secret came out of his mouth. He’d become really shy, feeling the interviewers  and the other boys eyes boring through him. A bashful laugh escaped his lips as his eyes turned into crescent moons. Jimin would blow a kiss towards the camera, being cute for you to forget what he just said.

“I’m sorry! I love you baby.”

Originally posted by spookyagustd

Taehyung [V] -

Taehyung couldn’t control what he saying, and would gush about you to the interviewer who was trying to ask him more questions. His sensible side would turn off and he’d just continue talking about you like it was nothing. After awhile though he’d come to his senses and smile sheepishly. Taehyung would wave at the camera innocently, trying to soothe the irritation he was sure you were feeling at home.

“Hey princess, please don’t kill me!”

Originally posted by jkookook

Jungkook -

Jungkook became so blushy and cute when talking about you. He’d have his head low while the boys pinched his red cheeks and teased him, saying that “he was finally a real man.” He’d get so smiley, knowing you were watching in your apartment with your equally as red cheeks. Jungkook wouldn’t say too much about your relationship, only saying one thing that  made the whole studio go ‘aww’.

“I really love her.”

Originally posted by jkguks

Hello again

I really didn’t intend that last post to be my, uh, last post? I got so sick that I ended up in the hospital for a bit, and I wasn’t really in any state to make another post for a while. i’m not 100% better, sorry to say. They still don’t know what’s causing all the problems, but hey, I can move around again so that’s good.

But, yeh, hi. I’ll be around a bit. Mostly trying to catch up on things and try not to freak out about lack of funds. But I’ll have some doodles up, maybe?

I hope you guys are doing okay, and sorry for being absent for so long.

Shance Yoga Teacher au

Yes, friends, this au is 100% what you’re thinking. FLEXIBLE AF LANCE AND THIRSTY AF SHIRO

  • Starting with a bit of angst. Shiro is an ex marine (I will NEVER let go of this hc in my modern aus deal with it), who lost his hand (hand. not entire arm. just the hand) in battle. This au isn’t far in the future, so there are no fancy advanced prosthetics. The healing process was long and painful, not to mention extremely emotionally and mentally taxing.
  • Once he he’s actually healthy enough, both mentally and physically, to have enough energy for things other than treatment, the first thing he wants to do is to try and build more muscle mass, like he used to have. He liked being buff, and he still is, but less than he used to be. Both he and his therapist think it’ll be good for strengthening his positive body image, too.
  • Shiro asks his doctor (Allura) what form of exercise can she recommend at this stage, and she says Yoga. He’s skeptical at first, but what can he already lose if he goes to one session, right?
  • The hospital actually holds a class for patients, and Allura said the instructor is well experienced with amputees (amongst other conditions).
  • Shiro’s brain for the entire first minute upon meeting Lance: OH NO HE’S HOT THIS WAS A MISTAKE
  • No backing out tho he’s already been spotted and Lance is questioning him about his exact conditions so he can know best what he can safely instruct him to do and what he can’t.
  • Shiro’s brain continues to die the entire time, but he manages some answers anyway. Finally, Lance has enough, plus the rest of the group arrives and the session starts.
  • First, there’s breathing exercises. Easy enough, right?
  • WRONG
  • Lance tells them to close their eyes, but whenever Shiro does, he the only thing he has left to focus on is Lance’s voice (which is the point) and he gets super flustered because it’s so smooth? and pleasant? and kinda sexy?? and he can’t help but want that voice to whisper to him sensually and- NOPE, gotta open his eyes.
  • The rest of the class is a little harder, for two major reasons.
  • For once, the exercises are actually more demanding than he expected. He always thought he was pretty stretchy, but heavens, is a human body even supposed to bend this far?
  • Which brings us to the next difficulty. Lance’s body is more than capable of bending that far, and it’s driving him insane.
  • Despite how stressful it was trying not to stare at his ass too much and generally not turn into a tomato, the session was actually… really great. Shiro feels better when he walks out, more relaxed somehow, even though his heart still speeds up when he remembers Lance doing that one pose.
  • Lance asks him to hang back for a moment to talk to him and Shiro is all Oh No He Noticed Me Staring but nope. Lance just wanted to ask how he feels and if anything made his arm hurt really bad etc. He also excessively complimented his natural flexibility, saying he’ll be able to do “all sorts of things” soon enough. Shiro is really unsure, but it almost seems like Lance smirked while saying that? Nah, he must be just imagining things because of his developing crush.
  • The next few sessions aren’t very different. Supposedly, anyway. After basing his level and current capabilities, Lance decided that Shiro could use more personal guidance, including LOTS of touching to correct his pose. Lance, being a professional, always asks for permission to touch him first, which somehow only makes it that much worse, because Shiro wants Lance to touch him. So so bad. Shiro is literally dying. These pants are tight and they will not hide a boner. He’s suffering. Someone help him.
  • There’s no help, and Poor Shiro has to constantly deal with gentle touches and low purrs because god forbid anyone makes a loud noise in the middle of yoga class. It goes on for a couple of weeks until one day he gets a most peculiar text from Lance.
  • (They exchanged numbers because Shiro wanted to add a third yoga session to his weekly schedule but the hospital only held the classes twice a week, and Lance gives him his number in case he has any questions. Of course, barely any Yoga advice was exchanged. )
  • Lance’s text: Uggghhh I can’t do this anymore! Allura, I know he’s your patient and all and he’s “”“"healing”“”“ and stuff but I can’t hold back anymore I just can’t. He’s too hot. I know I promised to hold back BUT THIS IS IT I’M ASKING HIM OUT
  • Shaking, Shiro texts back, asking who Lance is talking about.
  • Lance doesn’t text back for like half an hour and Shiro starts seriously freaking out when he gets a long ass text from Lance, where he apologizes for being so unprofessional and confessing his crush etc.
  • Shiro could almost cry from relief, because a few minutes ago he thought he might’ve lost all chances with Lance but now… He has more than a slight chance. He calls Lance and confesses his own crush and they both laugh and maybe it’s a little awkward because what do you even say in a situation like this but eventually they manage to schedule a date.
  • They take it slow, let things develop naturally. Lance gives Shiro all the time and space he needs, since it’s the first time he’s tried dating since he lost his hand. Takes a little trial and error, but one day, a few months later, Shiro finds out just how far Lance can bend.