but not really because it's my own stupidity

Fell for You (Like a Fire Escape)

This was originally based on a prompt from this list

“you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and I don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life.” 

But then it took on a life of its own and now we’re here.


A building code violation.

All the stupid and reckless shit he’d done in his life, and Stiles was going to die because of a building code violation.

It was unsafe, hazardous, and the building owner should definitely be sued because really, if a fire escape collapsed under his skinny ass, there was no way it would hold up for multiple building residents trying to evacuate in case of an emergency. It should definitely be reported immediately—not by Stiles, because how could he possibly explain being on the fire escape of a building he didn’t live in or know any tenants of, but really, someone should be notified asap.

Faster than asap, because Stiles was hanging from a window ledge, five floors up, with four levels of collapsed and rusty fire escape to break his fall, and his fingers were getting tired.

Keep reading

everyone reblogging my pan twitter rant that is like “nice op, threatening to kill gay people by hitting them with your car….kill yourself” im just???? are you fucking stupid

the post is literally directed towards the fact that the community keeps erasing people and its getting on my last nerve because we have been fighting to keep our place for years and the fact that you are attacking my poor word choice and joke (which is directed at the assholes who erase us from our own posts instead of making their own, not at G/L people) instead of the actual meaning is really enhancing what I’m trying to say??

TL/DR: Make your own post instead of stealing someone else’s post about loving a specific gender/set of genders and altering it to your own preferred genders. Just make your own. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how 100% of Laws clothing seems to have his jolly roger/hearts/that stupid pattern on them and just…what if its not really his choice

i have this RIDICULOUS HEADCANON that someone on Law’s crew (I mean im just picking sachi for my own reasons but itcouldbeanyone) is just super aggressively into screen printing

like they all TRY to buy new clothes because no one (especially what seems to be an all male crew?) needs THAT many clothes with hearts and smiley faces on them. But Sachi does all the laundry and they get to wear clothes maybe ONCE before they end up covered in yellow and black designs.

and they all get REALLY frustrated about it too like “GODDAMNIT SACHI STOP PUTTING THAT FREAKING SMILE ON THE CROTCH OF MY BOXERS”

and they can never go anywhere subtly or not be recognized because they roll in with all their matching clothes and of course everything about being plastered with a singular logo screams ‘PIRATES” and they end up being chased off the island 99% of the time

which is why they all wear the same jumpsuit now, because if they are going to match they may as well all wear the same thing and match PROPERLY.

Law asked Sachi to make him the coat he wore to dressrosa and Sachi cried and now they’re all even more frustrated with him because NOW he thinks everyone secretly LIKES having the hearts all over the place and just

i just have a lot of feels about the heart pirates being complete dorks and Law how did you end up with these idiots

me: mindin my own business
me: the only act of mistreatment against ben aiden ever really shows open guilt for is the one that left a mark others can still see
me:

Stop putting these things in dog’s ears.

Dogs get ear infections. Plenty of them. Because they are common, lots of folk come up with their own home remedies to treat or prevent them. I would really like this to stop, because most of the time it actually makes the ears worse. Sometimes it makes the ears so bad and painful that the dog starts biting any time anyone goes near its ears. Here is my list of stupid things people have been using to ‘clean’ their dogs’ ears, and I use the term ‘clean’ very loosely. 

  • water, plain old water
  • special dechlorinated water
  • pink Himalayan rock salt dissolved in water
  • olive oil
  • coconut oil (they rub it on)
  • diluted detol (no, stop.)
  • undiluted detol (NO! STOP!)
  • vinegar
  • Three year old antibiotic drops
  • Saliva from their other dog (he licks ‘em clean!)
  • shampoo
  • lemon juice
  • turmeric paste
  • tea tree oil
  • eucalyptus oil
  • hopes, prayers and wishful thinking

All instead of an over the counter ear cleaner that would actually work, or bringing the poor creature in to treat its infection. 

Seriously, as your local veterinarian I’m here to help your pet. That Facebook ‘pet health hacks’ or whatever page you get these ideas from doesn’t care, and doesn’t see the consequences. As your local vet, I will give you the advice that means your pet needs to come see me as infrequently as possible, because I have plenty of other work to do. The last thing I want to be dealing with on a Friday night is a drug resistant Pseudomonas infection in a dog’s ear. 

misc. sentence starters !!

❝ It tastes like dishwater. 
I’m not here to babysit you. 
I just wanna murder someone. 
Now I feel like I’ve insulted you. 
You’re gonna love me after today. 
Expardon me? Shut your fuck up.
You’ll probably be dead in a week.
I excel at hiding and running away. 
I didn’t fuckin’ ask you your life story. 
I’ll stab you in the dick thirty times, at least.
I don’t condone smoking the devil’s lettuce.
Well that sounds like your problem, fuck you.
You put something stupid in front of me and I’ll thrive.
I’ve never heard of someone fisting their own asshole.
My blood sugar is really low so its hard to make decisions.
❝ Easy, hater. Bob ross would be super bummed if he saw this. 
❝ Meet me in the pit. McDonald’s ball pit. Because I’m also hungry. 
I’m not even physically capable of body slamming you, but I’m gonna body slam you. 

You know what I really miss the days when I could hit someone up at school and meet them for a bowl between classes

I rarely payed for my own weed but I guess that’s because people thought I was a really fun stoner and, as sad as it is, those were probably my best friends during those years of my life because I felt the need to get high more than anything else

For some stupid reason I’m feeling this “I need to get high” thing stronger than ever and it’s depressing as hell, and sometimes I get scared that between that all the other fun things I tried back then that I permanently damaged my brain somewhere along the way

9

So I’ve been thinking about this stupid thing again. I blame @itsnotloveifitsjust and @temgreen for talking to me about it, actually. So please refer all complaints in their general directions. 

Tbh the hardest one was Akane??? 

Like, on one hand: child

On the other hand: attempted murder

Oh well. I still want people to send me these and no one has done this yet. 

xx | selaphicl | xx

you see, anthony isn’t one to reach out. no. he keeps to himself and so when he texted marleny over something stupid like if bergen liked mcdonald’s it was only because he really just wanted to talk to her. he couldn’t stop thinking about the man in her kitchen and them together and them holding hands and them in bed and it made him gag. so, when it was brought to the table that he could come over for dinner, he prayed that marleny’s new boyfriend had been gone. maybe this could be like happiness all over again. family dinner like they used to. he knocked on the front door, hand in pocket and bergen walking, holding his hand. looking down to his son, a smile played on his lips. although marleny said he looked like anthony, he saw her in him and it hurt, but he took after his mother.