but no seriously guys i'm in love with ping like wow

netflixandspace  asked:

Soulmate AUs are my favourite thing of all time so I'm just gonna try and think of a few for you to wrap your writing brain around: Everyone has a band tattooed around their wrist of their soulmates favourite colour and it starts glowing when you're a certain distance from them (you can decide that). Bonus for that one: the band starts to radiate heat once you're super close to them, and will keep heating up until you kiss them.

Lawstein and Kirsch/Laura are my brotps. I call this fic…

                                                  Ciao, Bella

Hello! My name is Laura. I love women, chocolate, reading, and Doctor Who–in that order. My favorite color is blue and I’m looking for that special someone who loves the color green. What do you say? :D 

Laura saves it, turning her chair so that she’s looking at Kirsch. “Well? What do you think?” 

Kirsch tilts his head, leaning in to look over Laura’s shoulder. “Uh, I don’t know if that’s going to work.” 

“Really? Let’s look at your dating profile, Kirsch.” Laura types his username into the search bar, then lowers her voice in an imitation of him. “Hello, hotties. I’m just a fun guy looking for a good time with a fun hottie who loves the color green. My favorite color is blue–winky emoji,” Laura glares at him. “You’re seriously trying to tell me that’s better?” 

Hey, you asked me for help setting up a dating profile,” Kirsch points out. “All I’m saying is–” 

There’s a ping from the computer that signals a message being sent. Laura clicks on her inbox. 

BiTheWay: Hey, I noticed on your profile that you said you love women and reading. So do I. ;) What’s your favorite book? 

“See! I got a message!” Laura clicks on her profile page. Her name is apparently Danny Lawrence. “…Oh my God, Kirsch, what do I do, she’s really attractive.” 

Kirch leans in closer and whistles. “Wow, she is a hottie.” 


Kirsch holds his hands up. “Hey, I’m not trying anything. Message her back, L-Dog!” 

“Kirsch, I literally completely forget with my favorite book is, I’m too distracted by her face.” 

“Then don’t look at her face and just pick something.” 

She settles on ‘Pride and Prejudice’, since it’s a book she’s read and she definitely likes it. 

BiTheWay: Hey, Pride and Prejudice is my favorite too! 

laura2theletter: Yeah, I love it. Even though I think Darcy is an asshole. 

BiTheWay: Oh, I totally agree. Want to continue this conversation in person? :) 

Okay, Laura. Calm, cool, collected. 

laura2theletter: YES. :D

Okay, nevermind. 

BiTheWay: Awesome. How about Ciao Bella, tonight, around 6 ish? 

laura2theletter: Sure! See you, Danny. :) 

BiTheWay: Can’t wait Laura. :D

Laura jumps from her seat. “YES! I girled the hell up!” 

“Way to go, L-Dog!” Kirsch and Laura high five and Laura starts jumping around the room. 

“YES! I got a date! I got a date! I got a–wait.” Laura stops, breathing heavily. “Kirsch, I GOT A DATE. WHAT DO I DO. She’s so gorgeous and I’m such a nerd–” 

“L-Dog, you’ll be fine,” Kirsch answers. He sits down and logs into his account. “She messaged you, remember?” 

“But I sounded too desperate, didn’t I?” 

“I dunno.” Kirsch mumbles, clicking through profiles. His eyebrows shoot up. “Hello. This girl is even hotter than that Danny chick.” 

“Huh?” Laura looks over Kirsch’s shoulder. Her profile pic is of her wearing leather pants, sitting on a stool, holding a guitar in her hands. It’s really artsy in black and white and stuff. It strikes her as a bit pretentious. “I guess she’s pretty.” 

“Cool, I’m totally sending her a message.” 

“Kirsch, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure she’s gay.” 


She points to a questionnaire on the girl–Carmilla’s–profile. Cats or Dogs? The answer: Cats. You are what you eat I guess. 

Well, no harm in asking,” Kirsch answers, pressing send on his message. Poor Kirsch. They sit there fifteen minutes before Laura feels it’s okay to say I told you so. 

“See? She’s not going to respond ‘cause she’s not interested in–” 


Kirsch opens his inbox. 

HeyCarmilla: Sure. Want to meet at Ciao Bella tonight? 

Kirsch looks at Laura with a grin. “Ha! See?”

Laura has forgotten all about it. “Kirsch, wait,” you grab his arm. “You got to tell her to meet you at six.” 


“Because–because I’m super nervous, and you can, like, pretend you’re on a separate date and help me if something goes wrong.” 

“I don’t know, Laura–” 

“Come on, Kirsch, please? Help a bro out?” 

That’s the clincher. “…Alright.” 

Dudescort: Thanks Carm-sexy, love 2. Can we meet @ 6? 

HeyCarmilla: Sure. Why not. See you there. 

Kirsch fist pumps. “Man, we are good! Kirsch and Laura, double-dating bros!” 

“We are not double dating, Danny’ll think I’m lame.” 

“Fine. Either way, I better go home and shower. And you need to change.” 

“You’re right! What am I going to wear, oh man…” 

“Uh…dunno, flannel? Don’t chicks who dig chicks like flannel or something?” 

“Kirsch, we talked about stereotyping.” 

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tonight, L-Dog. Good luck!” He gives her a thumbs up before leaving. Laura brushes her teeth, showers, digs through her closet. It’s a complete coincidence, but she decides she looks best in her favorite flannel shirt. 

She can almost see her wrist glowing already. 


“Seriously, Xena, relax. You haven’t even ordered your coffee yet and you’re jittering like you had six shots of expresso.”

Danny stops tapping her fingers against the countertop, still jiggling her knee. “Sorry. I’m just nervous.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Carmilla answers, “You’re making me nervous, and I don’t even have any emotional investment in my date. Remind me again why you made me agree to say yes when I told you some idiot couldn’t figure out I was gay from my profile?” 

“Because,” Danny answers, “This girl is really cute, and I’m nervous as hell. I wanted you here in case I needed backup and it would have looked suspicious with you skulking in the corner by yourself. Besides, maybe you’ll get a friend out of this.” 

Carmilla takes a sip of her irish coffee. “Hardly. You should have seen the messages, Danny. The grammar…and he used hottie unironically. He’s either a fuckboy, or really a twelve year old. My best is fuckboy with the mind of a twelve year old.” 

“Look, I’ll owe you then, okay–I think I see her about to walk in…” 

Carmilla puts a hand on her roommate’s knee to make it stop jiggling. “Danielle Lawrence, calm the fuck down. It’s just a date. Statistically, the odds of her being your soulmate are–” 

She stops and stares at Danny’s wrist, which has started to glow. 

“…Holy shit,” Danny breathes. 

“Well, I guess I was wrong. Your wrist is glowing.” 

Danny frowns. “It is?” Danny looks at her glowing blue wrist, “Oh my God, it is!” 

Wait, you didn’t notice? So what got you so shocked?” 

Yours, Carm.” 

“Mine? No–” She looks at her wrist. It’s glowing blue too. “Oh my God.” 

Danny looks at you and smirks. “What was that about ‘a total fuckboy’ Carm?” 

“No, no, no. I can not be a bisexual. One bi-curious encounter with a poetry major freshman year does not a bisexual make!” 

“How else do you explain it, then?” 


“That is not how soulmates work, Carmilla. Besides, your band is a lighter shade than mine. They’re different.” 

Kirsch and Laura have walked through the door of the cafe, looking at their wrists, puzzled. Laura sees Danny and waves, smiling shyly, and Danny waves back. Kirsch slicks back his hair and saunters over with a smile. 

Hey, so…check it,” Kirsch shows Carmilla his wrist with a grin. “And my favorite color is blue!” 

“Uh-uh. Back up, frat boy. Our wrists must be broken or something.” 

“Hey, Danny,” Laura stands in front of Danny, smiling. “It is so nice to meet you, and–” She stops. “Um…anyone else suddenly feel like their wrist is burning?” 

Laura and Danny both start fervently rubbing their wrists. Carmilla looks at hers, scrunching her nose. Kirsch only puts his hand on the wrist band and continues trying–and failing–to be charming. 

“Well, hey, that’s soulmate rules, right? Only way to make it stop is a kiss.” He wiggles his eyebrows. Yep, no doubt in her mind, she does not like dudes. At all. Hell to the fucking no. 

Down, Fabio. This is not happening.” 

“Why not–” 

“Because I’m gay, you fucking moron! I listed Ellen Page under ‘interests’ on my profile, do I need to wave a pride flag around for you to get it?” 

“Then why’d you agree to meet me?” 

She told me to!” Carmilla exclaims, pointing at Danny, “Because she was too nervous to go on this date without backup.” 

“Aw, really?” Laura says, “Kirsch is my friend, that’s why he came!” 

“And thank you very much for that,” Carmilla answers. 

“Um…listen…as confused as this is, my wrist really hurts,” Kirsch answers. 

“Well, I have no qualms about kissing my soulmate.” Danny says with a grin. Laura smiles shyly, and she leans in; Danny puts her hands on Laura’s cheeks as she smiles into it. 

“….Wow,” Laura says when she pulls away. She wrinkles her nose. “Wow.” Her face screws up. “Wow, my wrist is starting to burn even more.” 

Danny frowns and rubs her mark. “Yeah, mine does too. What the hell?” 

Carmilla looks at Danny. “Well, what do you know. Looks like I was right afterall.” 

“But this makes no sense.” 

Maybe we’ll have better luck?” Kirsch offers weakly. 

“For the last time, bro-for-brains, no. Your wrist isn’t even a shade of green I like. It’s fucking puke green.” 

“I don’t know, I kind of like that shade of–oh no.” Danny looks at Laura. “Laura, do you prefer light or dark blue?” 

“Now that you mention it, I kind of like light blue better…no.” She looks at Carmilla’s glowing wrist. 

“Well. I guess there’s one way to test this theory out.” Carmilla says through gritted teeth, the burning starting to spread up her arm. “Danny, Kirsch, pucker up.” 

What? Why us? Why can’t you go first?” 

“I am not kissing anyone until you prove that this is going to work.” 

“But he can’t be my soulmate, I saw those messages, he’s practically illiterate–” 

“Hey, hottie, that’s not cool–” 

“Guys, my arm is literally on fire, JUST TRY IT ALREADY.” Laura exclaims. 

Kirsch and Danny glare at each other. They resemble fish as they pucker up and give the quickest, chastest kiss on the lips that they can. 

“…My arm feels better,” Danny grumbles. 

“Um, yeah. Mine too.” 

They stare at each other uncomfortably. 

“I guess we should talk,” Danny says. 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

Through the pain, Carmilla flashes a wicked grin at Danny. “You two lovebirds have fun.” 

Danny and Kirsch shove their hands in their pockets, trudging over to a table. 

“I give it two weeks before they’re madly in love,” Carmilla says. 

“Really? I hope so,” Carmilla almost forgot Laura was there. She sits next to her on the stool Danny vacated. “Kirsch really is a great guy when he’s not being unintentionally sexist.” 

“Well, Broadzilla’s not bad when her temper isn’t flaring.” 

Laura nods. “Um…so…yeah, look, not to pressure you, but my arm is starting to go numb.” 

“Okay, wait.” Carmilla takes her cup and downs the rest of her irish coffee, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m ready, let’s get this over with.” 

“Wow, romantic.” 

“Do you want to fix our wrists, or what?” 

Laura rolls her eyes, but leans in.  They both kiss for a good five seconds before pulling back. 

“…How’s your arm?” Carmilla asks. 

Laura’s eyes are still closed. “Like it never hurt at all. You?” 


“Wow. This is–unexpected.” She opens her eyes. “Totally unexpected. What’s the protocol for this? I mean, should we plan to meet somewhere a little more formal, or are we dating now, or–” 

“Slow down. Laura, right?” 


Carmilla tilts her head. Laura is cute. And not a dude. After that near disaster she definitely considers that a bonus. 

“Well, Laura,” she answers, “This cafe has fantastic gelato. Can I buy you one?” 

“Chocolate?” Laura asks. 

“No. Amaretto fudge. Trust me.” 

Oh my God, that sounds amazing and I don’t even know what Amaretto is.” Laura says as Carmilla signals a waiter and gives him the order. He scoops it out. 

 Laura takes the cup, putting her spoon in. She’s about to bring it to her lips when she looks at Carmilla. She holds the spoon of gelato out to her. 


Come on, we’re soulmates,” Laura answers, “Might as well get used to it.” 

Carmilla sighs, but smiles, and leans in to take a bite. “Wow, you are such a sap.” 

“Can I be honest?” 


“I kind of just wanted to know if your lips would taste like gelato if you ate some…” 

Carmilla laughs softly. “You know what? I guess we’ll see later.”