but my sleep schedule is screwed up

I missed turning in a small project today. Honestly, I had the concert of my life yesterday (a band I’ve wanted to see for half my life) and I don’t regret it much. This is probably going to be condemened to bits but I’m ok! I have extra credit opportunities and I didn’t want to stay up later to complete a lengthy project that would average out to maybe 20 points. I couldn’t justify screwing up my sleep schedule even more, as I have trouble getting to sleep at the right time as it is. Now I just have to to get all those extra credit assignments done ;-; I take school seriously, but I made a choice 🤷🏻‍♀️ .

6

My Brother, My Brother, and Me (dir. J.D. Amato, 2017)

BUT LIKE the reason why the hug fucks me up so much is because it shows that it wasnt awkward at all??? it was just natural to them??? they literally just made out after all this time of denying their feelings and then looked at each other and HUGGED. because they’re not just in love they’re best friends too??? they’re best friends in love?????

IM. FUCKED. UP.

if there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s that anything is possible with time, and yet, time is so meaningless.

after my dad had a stroke, it twisted and turned his depression until it was out of control. he phoned his psychologist on speed dial at 3 a.m. one night and asked if this life would ever be worth it, and his psychologist said, “it doesn’t matter what you do to cope now; you should feel better in six months.”

and that’s how mental illness is: it comes and goes in waves. but what the psychologist didn’t understand was six months is a long time to not smile at all. and my dad struggled to be a person worth taking the fall for. he struggled to make his life worth being sad over.

and me, without thinking of the concept of time, lays in bed all day and takes barefoot walks at night, waiting for this to be over, my heels gliding against the rainwater on the sidewalks. my dad calls me every day to make sure i’m okay and i try to pick up but the dial tone lulls me to sleep.

the only bad thing about screwing up my sleep schedule every night is that i don’t sleep much, which i’ve found is easy to cope with when your body can be pushed to this mind-controlling death and still not die.

so i wake up tired and i get up fast, sit on the floor with my legs spread against the carpet, and i think about good days and bad days.

any day i wake up without a pit in my stomach is a good day: any day my first thought is that i am tired instead of rubbing my temples to try to remember the sound of your voice. the scale of bad days ranges from a prickle to a point, a seed to a fruit.

today, birds chirp through the overcast. they are running their energy thin before the rain clouds set in. and i think about how they hold on so tightly, but once the storm hits, they are long gone. and today, like every day, i learned a little more about letting go.

god, science taught me that literally every single thing in the universe is made of stars that collapsed and exploded long before us. so even though i may seem small, i am a star: a star with a dull shine when i look out my window at night, but like those glimmers of light, i am still large.

so it’s been easier to tell myself not to panic because it makes sense that being part of the whole universe is overwhelming. but it’s worth it, right? who wouldn’t want to be a star? who wouldn’t want to be so uniquely their own?

george kelly taught me i have to change my constructs, these internal ideas of reality. like if my definition of a friend is someone who is there for me in my darkest hours, and someone i call a friend disappears like light clouds, i can choose to change my definition of “friend” or i can leave them cold on the pavement.

you can’t change people. and you often can’t change your situation. the only thing you can change is yourself.

in high school, i sat in my room in front of my laptop every day because i didn’t have very many friends, but now i am alone because i want to be. i am changing my constructs, see: i am telling myself that i like being by myself because if i didn’t, i would put in the effort to be without me.

and i guess sitting in front of the windowsill today, i realized that you can be the best friend you never had. you can share your darkest secrets, and you can decide whether or not you keep them.

i guess sitting in front of the windowsill today, i realized that nothing ever stays, but nothing ever leaves. that the same wind travels all across the globe and will continue to after i leave.

so baby, please, in the middle of a thunder storm, please sit by the window and say, “this life surprises me every day, and it can surprise me pleasantly.“ say, “things may be hard, but i can choose to look at them as a challenge.” tell me, please that “no matter what, it is worth it.”

if time can heal anything, time can heal me.

—  WORTH IT

some book of life and undertale crossover stuff inspired by @renrink‘s movie stream

honestly these were supposed to be just doodles but i need color practice so why the heck not

Alright. I have to get ready for work and I’m in no mood for it today. The DWTS seasons really screw with my Monday/Tuesday sleep schedule and it’s kind of pathetic, but I could have bigger problems. I’ll go be a grown up if I have to I guess.

If Bonner and Sharna are even more cute then they’ve already been before the sun has even fully risen today, someone please tag me in all of it! I no longer (and never did) have shame. I want all of it. 

anonymous asked:

Not a confession, but thanks for giving me advice about having a friend come visit for a week. She left last week and I'm still super exhausted from it. Even though I mentioned multiple times my screwed up sleeping schedule/health, she had a bit of an attitude about it towards the end. Like, I got up from sleeping around 8PM and she goes, "Oh, I thought you'd be up sooner." And I said: "You thought wrong." I won't be inviting her back. It was too much for me and I'm still recovering. 😕

I’m glad you tried though and learned something from the experience. I’m sorry she wasn’t as understanding as you thought she would be, but unfortunately it’s times like those where you really test your friendships and see who’s in it for the long haul. I hope you had good moments throughout the visit though! And hopefully they didn’t sour your opinion on letting other friends visit. ❤

Two people called out today so I feel it’s important for everyone to know that I am here at work at an ungodly hour after maybe three hours of sleep at most and basically I hate everything and everyone.

3

i have always appreciated the added layer of safety that my glasses have provided me.

“Love is Dead”  ~  Draco x reader

“can you do an imagine when the reader and Draco are in potion class and they are studying Amortentia potion and Draco and reader get paired and when they cant smell anything they freak and start sayings things like “ well if you wouldn’t have drowned yourself in honeysuckle and rain body spray maybe we would be able to smell’ and the other says something similar and the house that they are in realize they ran out of whatever they smell like and stuff (sorry its long i geniunly feel bad)” ~@smallangrygryffindor

HI! So sorry for taking a million years to get to your request! I have been so tired since I got back from Orlando, my sleep schedule is completely turned around (it’s literally 4AM, and I’m still up), and I go back to school on Monday… I’m screwed..

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, like all of the requests I get, and never apologize for making your request so long! I LOVE long, detailed requests! They are so much easier for my brain to piece everything together! 

Again, I loved writing this so much! It was so fun! I hope you enjoy it as well!😊😘

  • y/n - your name
  • y/l/n - your last name
  • y/h - your house

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n groaned as she rolled out of bed. She always hated getting up early and going to learn something she didn’t intend to use in her future career. Thinking about all of her classes made her head ache. Usually, she’d feel better after breakfast. Today wasn’t going to be one of those days. Missing breakfast had it’s disadvantages.

Her eyes were already drooping by the time she walked into Arithmancy. Somehow, she still managed to keep herself awake by doodling in her notebook. She could get the notes later anyway. 

After class, she headed toward the dungeons for Potions. It was never quite the same since Snape had been promoted to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, but at least she still had Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy had been her best friend since day one. They’d been assigned to do projects together, she helped him with quidditch, and they even sometimes just made fun of the ‘Golden Trio’ together (just to get a good laugh when they needed it most).

Y/n sat down with Draco and the other Slytherins in her Potions class and immediately laid her head down on the table.

Draco nudged her side. “Wake up, sleepyhead.” he joked, chuckling a bit.

She groggily sat up with a sigh.

“You alright?”

Y/n shrugged. “I’m exhausted.” she breathed. “And, I’m starving.”

He gave her his usual smirk. “Missed breakfast again, huh?”

She nodded, yawning.

Turning around, Draco dug into his bag and pulled out an apple, just to place it on the desk they were sitting at. “Here. This should hold you over until lunch.”

With another yawn, she smiled slightly. “Thank you.”

At last, Professor Slughorn arrived and everyone gathered their material for the day’s lesson.

“Today, class, we’ll be taking a look at Amortentia and its effects. But, do not ingest it. We’ll only be focusing on the scent’s effects.”

As student’s were paired together, the shuffled around the room to find their partners.

“Miss y/l/n, you’ll be paired with Mister Malfoy.”

Both of them gave a very visible high five for two reasons: 1.) they didn’t have to get up, and 2.) they had always worked well together.

Y/n started to feel a little better after eating a bit the apple Draco had given her. She felt more awake as well, which helped a lot when they started brewing their potion.

“So what do you think your’s will smell like?” Draco asked, stirring the liquid around.

“Maybe if you’d wear a little less of that Acqua di Gio cologne I got you last Christmas, I may be able to find out.” she joked.

He gasped sarcastically with a fake look of offense. “Well, the same goes for you.” he carried on. “I mean, I’m surprised you haven’t run out of that Honeysuckle Rain body mist yet. And you’re strawberry lipgloss? How can I even smell that from here?”

They eyed each other for a moment, and without any warning, they burst out laughing as loudly as they possibly could.

“LOVE IS DEAD!” y/n roared.

Draco softened his laugh a bit. “Well, you can’t smell ghosts.”

His comment made y/n laugh even harder, and how it was possible was beyond her knowledge. The whole class was staring at them at this point.

“Sorry, guys…” y/n said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Draco nudged her side again. “Don’t apologize. It was funny!”

Y/n sat in the library that evening, copying down notes from her Arithmancy class earlier that day. She tried to focus on taking them, but something in her mind just didn’t add up.

‘Why couldn’t I smell that Amortentia potion?’ she thought to herself. ‘What does this mean?’

She got up from her seat and headed to the y/h common room, only to realize when she got there, she had run out of her perfume weeks ago. Knowing that the Slytherins had quidditch practice, she ran down to the pitch to watch the remainder of it.

“Hey, y/l/n!” Draco beamed, carrying his broom and the snitch. “Came to watch me, did you?”

She giggled at his cheeky attitude. However, she quickly became more serious. “Actually, I, uhh… needed to talk with you about something important.”

“If it’s about today’s Potions class, I have no idea how you were smelling my cologne.”

Y/n tilted her head a bit as he sat down on the bleachers beside her.

“I ran out of that stuff a couple of weeks ago.” he continued. “I just remembered before practice. I’m pretty sure after a few washes, it would have faded away.”

Biting her lip, y/n looked away from him and down at the green grass.

“Now… what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Her heart started beating faster and faster. “Umm…”

She looked back at him, and noticed things she hadn’t really noticed before: how pretty his smile was, with his perfect, sparkling-white teeth; his bright, grey-blue eyes and how they gleamed in the sunlight; his hair, a bit messy (because of his quidditch practice), but in a good way…

She was brought back to reality by Draco snapping his fingers.

“y/n!”

“What? Oh!”

He grew a bit concerned for her. “You haven’t been acting yourself today at all. Are you feeling alright?”

Y/n nodded. “I’m fine. I just… umm… about today’s Potions’ lesson…”

“What about it?”

She took a deep breath before continuing. “I ran out of my perfume, too.”

Draco looked taken aback. “Really?”

She nodded once more. “Yeah… I didn’t realize it until I was copying Arithmancy notes.”

They remained silent for a few moments, looking at the ground below them.

“You know…” Draco murmured, breaking the quietness between them. “I’ve always, sort of, fancied you…”

Her heart fluttered at this. “I should probably come clean, too, I guess…” She sighed. “I didn’t just smell your cologne in that potion.”

“Well what else did you smell?”

She bit her lip before answering. “Apples and a broomstick handle.”

He smirked lightly. “I guess I’m not the only on who feels this way then.”

“I guess not.”

Slowly, Draco slid his hand over hers and stroked her pinky finger with his thumb, intertwining his fingers with hers soon after. Y/n bit her lip once more, looking at their hands. Draco, on the other hand was staring at her. Suddenly, he kissed her cheek.

She giggled softly and turned her head to face him. They inched closer without realizing it, and soon, they were nose to nose.

“What would happen if I just kissed you right now?” Draco whispered, staring at y/n’s lips.

“Why don’t we find out.”

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer and placed his lips on hers. All of the tension and stress from the moment prior to this left y/n’s body. It was the most amazing feeling she had ever felt. She draped her arms around his neck and smiled as she kissed the blonde boy back.

They pulled away from on another gently, still gripped in each other’s embrace.

“Who knew that Potions would be the reason we confessed our feelings for each other?”

Y/n shrugged lightly. “Well, I’m glad I took it this year.”

Sleep schedule screwed up. Acid Reflux improving. Except I got burpy today where it feels like my throat and nose full of flem. Should not have eaten that deep fried squid thing covered in sauce. Slowly finishing up the comic. There’s so much to draw

Current mood is Wavebird trying to put on a shirt with her large head.