but my program failed

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.

17-yo Yuzuru’s thought about figure skating and jumps

This is so precious as he also thought about Pyeongchang laready. Wow, I can never get enough of how deep a thinker Yuzu is. This is excerpt from an interview he did in January 2012 when he just turned 17 (from Aoi Hono 1)

“Quad era, I have thought about how far it’s going to. From Gachinski, there are many young skaters that can do quads, I wonder how high level would the quad era become by the time of Pyeongchang Olympics. Other than quad toe-loop, I think it’s really cool to see Brandon Mroz (USA) jump quad lutz in competition. In Japan, because Honda Takeshi succeeded jumping the lutz in practice, so I do feel like catching up with them. I also have pride as an athlete, so I do want to show things like “ I can jump this well”. But in competition… I don’t think we  need to jump that many types of quad at this point yet. Of course, if we can have a program with a quad lutz in the beginning, a quad toe in the second half, putting in 2 triple axels…, if we can do that, then we would get many points. But right now, is it necessary to have so many jumps? Though it is true that it is an era where having quad is normal, rather than doing many different types of quads, it’s mostly about toe-loop and salchow now. Actually, having just toe loop is fine if you jump properly, and the skating and the whole program is perfect. Because after all, jumps aren’t everything, that’s figure skating.”

Wow, how much I love this paragraph!!! I love how he has always tried to deliver a complete program as much as he can since young age and his mindset about figure skating. 

And wow, since he mentioned a powerful program in 2012 with “with a quad lutz in the beginning, a quad toe in the second half, putting in 2 triple axels”, he’s doing it for real next season I guess.

For anyone who wants to read it in Japanese: (and I really recommend buying the 2 autobiographies, it’s worth it, even if you’re learning Japanese I swear!!!)

(Scans of the paragraph above in Aoi Hono I in Japanese under the cut)

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These days I spent the days coding like crazy. I am exhausted but it feels so good.
So while I was taking a break I remembered my first year of cs/e when I had no idea of programming and I didn’t know what was x=x+1 or x++, how for and while loops worked and so on. I didn’t even know what I was doing there in class to be honest.
And I hated programming.

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When The Levee Breaks (Part 1)

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

Summary: It’s heartbreaking and it’s painful, but Bucky Barnes has learned to cope with the fact that you don’t remember him the way he remembers you.  But whether you remember him or not, he’ll protect you the way you used to protect him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Wordcount: 1,977

A/N: I AM SO SORRY. This part was…sadder than I thought it would be. I’m being dead serious when I say this: I do not plan on making this fluffy, at all. Maybe like a lil fluff, but I want all of us to be in pain mostly c:

Part 1  / 2 


A page is turned. A breath is held in vain.

Mission Report
November 22, 1963

The prepping of the asset and his bulwark for this particular assignment commenced after the awakening of the asset. Asset showed no signs of resistance. The bulwark required several rounds of sedation.

At precisely 12:31 PM, as The President of The United States paraded down Main Street in Dallas, Texas, the asset took the shot.

President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was pronounced dead at 1:00 PM.

The Winter Soldier and his bulwark have completed their first mission as a pair.

STATUS: Successful.

There’s a new dent in the old leather of the journal. His mind is preoccupied and it takes a while before he realizes he’s being watched.

“Don’t you think it’s time to put that ol’ thing down, Barnes?”

Silence. He stares at the worn journal in his hand, he stares at the disgusting Cyrillic script and another shard of his heart threatens to fall apart.

“Does she know? That she helped me kill the great President?”

The man, they used to call him an asset, sits like a slab of stone at the edge of the bed. He reads the report aloud once more as the red haired woman that stands at the threshold of his door listens.

“They made her my bulwark.”

Natasha Romanoff chews on her lower lip as Bucky crumbles like dust, his shoulders heaving beneath the weight of the cruel world. The one he helped doom.

“If it helps you feel any better,” She starts carefully, “According to her files…she doesn’t remember a thing, Buck. Hydra made sure of that.”

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One of the biggest things that all of the books I’ve read and motivational videos I’ve watched have taught me is, write out your goals! Give yourself a visual and a plan! Put it into action! Instead of having motivational pieces hanging in my room, I have past failed programs hanging. A constant reminder every day that I failed to complete those programs. Now I will have my goals! What I want/need to accomplish. The days I get to cross those weights off will be great accomplishments and I know will motivate me every day! I just got my dress and have a long time before I have to get it altered, but I need to start doing the work now!!

Hard questions on hard classes

I know this may seem comical given the fact that you have survived medical school but right now I feel like my high school classes are killing me they are really hard how do I do good and get through senior year? God bless you! -anon

  • It’s not comical at all! This is the hardest thing you’ve ever done, so don’t knock it. And after you get through this you’ll move on to a new hardest thing you’ve ever done. It’s just a series of steps. I think it’s important that you fight against senioritis and laziness now because the good habits you develop now will really help in your next step after graduation. Get some tutoring if you need it. Maybe seek out a college student who can mentor you and teach you some study tricks too. Use all the resources available to you! Don’t forget that there are awesome videos like Khan academy and even random youtubers that can be great helps when you’re stuck studying. 

I’m in the 3rd year, just starting clinical years and I have a low GPA even though I study a lot. how can I improve it? -anon

  • Hmmm. I’m assuming when you say 3rd year you mean med school. I don’t think that GPA matters that much to residency programs. I mean, my school was pass/fail, so they didn’t submit GPAs unless you were in the top 25% of the class. Step scores are what matter more. So I’d work really hard during your Step studying so that you can balance out that GPA. I guess you’ve probably already taken Step 1, so push to get really good scores on your shelf exams and on Step 2. Showing a big improvement between steps goes a long way. My grades in the first 2 years weren’t that fabulous either, but my clinical skills and evaluations on rotations really gave me a boost. After all, residencies care whether you’re going to be a good clinical doctor, not how well you’ve memorized the Krebs cycle. 

How did you get through really really hard classes like organic chemistry? And then through med school -anon

  • The answer to your question is: barely. 
  • I   s t r u g g l e d through organic. I made C’s in both semesters. I just didn’t study like I should, and even as a visual learner I just couldn’t visualize the reactions in my head. But I think I learned from organic what I needed to do when I got to biochemistry. I did tons and tons of practice problems and reviewed my notes and ended up with an A in biochem, which blew my mind. Basically, nose –> grindstone. 
Mothers Who Can’t Love

These are quotes from the book “Mothers Who Can’t Love” that hit me personally and that I felt were most helpful. I hope that these quotes and advice from the book can help someone that is struggling with a narcissistic, controlling, or abusive mother.

“Like all insecure people, they build themselves up by tearing you down. If you’re enjoying yourself, you must be neglecting something important, or getting in trouble.”

“What happens to these painful beliefs? They drive self-defeating behavior. If your narcissistic or controlling mother has programmed you with the false beliefs that you’ll never measure up, you may feel insecure, inferior, inadequate, lacking in confidence…you may well hold yourself back from success in relationships by aiming low, or shrink away from the career you want my telling yourself that since you didn’t get the first good job you applied for, you’ll stop trying. Why set yourself up for more shame or disappointment?”

“Who’s voice is it? Your mother’s. Whose interests does it serve? Hers. The narcissistic mother doesn’t have to tell you “Push yourself down so I’ll look better,” and the controlling mother needn’t say, “Prove my wrong by failing.” The programming she’s instilled does the work even when she’s not there.”

“The truth is, you aren’t responsible for your mother’s happiness, and you can’t fix her; only she can do that.”

“Real love isn’t something a child has to “buy” with good deeds.”

“You were supposed to be able to do it, according to your programming. You may feel inadequate, guilty, flawed, bad, ashamed.”

“You may still jump to meet your mother’s needs…because the fastest most familiar way to prove yourself, your mother, and the world that you’re competent, good, and not deeply flawed is to cater to her needs.”

“False messages that demean you:

-You are so selfish.

-You are so ungrateful.

-There’s something wrong with you.

-You can’t do anything right.

-You only think about yourself.

-You have terrible judgement.

-You’re more trouble than you’re worth.

-You’re the reason I have so many problems.

These are the sorts of words that often come from narcissistic, competitive, controlling, or abusive mothers. Statements like this tear you down, making your mother feel all-powerful while absolving her of any responsibility for her life and her discontentment. If a pang of familiarity hits you in the stomach or you hear your mother’s voice in your head when you read a particular item, it’s likely that it’s circulating inside you like an indictment. Recognizing these messages is an important first step toward taking their power away.”

“False beliefs that hold you back from making progress:

-If only my mother would change I would feel better about myself.

-If only she’d realize how much she hurts me, she would be nicer to me.

-Even though she can be pretty mean to me, I know she has my best interests at heart. I’m overreacting.

These “if only” beliefs keep you stuck in an alternate reality of yearning and longing. They keep you passive and reactive rather than proactive because you are waiting for your mother to change instead of doing the tough work of changing yourself. It’s time to stop waiting. It’s time to reclaim your power.

Scott Moir, Patrick Chan & Tessa Virtue // The Three very coordinated members of a pop group Amigos.

The project broke me, but humans are broken from the moment of conception.  Mutations, defects– it’s all so wonderful.  The chance of disaster.  We fail, we learn, we fail. My program was too perfect. […]  That day, Harold, I broke it.  I forced it to delete bits of itself– its code, its blood– and then reboot.  Rebirth. Flailing in the dark.  A loop, ten times a second, and after ten hours, Harold, 360,000 mutations, it would live or die trying, and it lived. It sparked.  It stirred.  For 30 seconds, it smiled and then died.

– Arthur Claypool, “Aletheia.”

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Dont go to school: Val’s Experience

My education after high school (5 years) has so far consisted of:

  • Two major strikes during my semesters
  • A failed program that costed 13k+ and went from 30 students to 12 after one semester
  • Having to take a extra year to recover from one semester of the failed program which first guaranteed a specialized degree and job options
  • A professor we could of swore was drunk the mornings he taught, all the other mornings he was away on a trip or sick
  • Each semester being 6k+
  • and so much more!