but my printer has no ink

F*** you, in Black and White

My boss is an inept, whiny, pusillanimous twatwaffle. Because he’s a brown-noser with his superiors, it is of course most important that he be a condescending jackass to his department staff. He makes small problems big, and big problems become major issues. He makes my (utterly amazing) supervisor cry. He makes snide remarks about how he doesn’t have to be so generous with our compensation (which, due to company structure, actually has little to do with him). He is a Class A Asshole.

Being that he is my boss, I am unable to tell him precisely how useless and pathetic I find his existence to be. My ire must be expressed in pettier ways.

Once a week there is a specific report I run, make 15 pretty copies of, and provide for him to present in a staff meeting with his superiors. Knowing his constant fear of offending or disturbing the executives in any way, today I printed 14 lovely color copies of the report, and one black-and-white report from the printer that has a wonky roller, so the print is kind of smudgy. Oops, the color ink must have run out!

I know there is no way he will present a slightly blurry, black-and-white report to anyone in the room - he’ll distribute the pretty color ones, and keep the ugly one for himself. I took care to further smudge some of the ink so he can’t read the smaller figures, too.

Have fun in staff, asshole.

the good drugs - olicity - 1/1

for@latinasmoak – thank you for your support and being amazing!


“Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day…” 

“Okay, well, that was my cheek,” Felicity grunted. She was mostly dragging Oliver across the apartment floor toward the nearest flat surface, which just so happened to be the couch. “But, thank you… I think. I just got a new moisturizer.” 

“You smell good.” 

She snorted. “Now I know you’re lying, because I definitely stink. Lugging you around has worked up a sweat.” 

He hummed. “Like coffee and ink and that hand lotion you use…” 

“The ink is because I had to wrestle with the printer earlier. You’d think with something so expensive, it wouldn’t get so many paper jams, but nope. I won though, just FYI.” Felicity made sure he was comfortably laid out on the couch and moved to his feet to pull off his shoes. “I’m surprised you let them put you under for your root canal. I was expecting more of a fight.” 

He grunted, his eyes at half-mast. “Had enough pain,” he murmured. 

Keep reading

arkhamhollow  asked:

Do you think the Rogues have favorite scents, like amortentia from Harry Potter?

This has been in my askbox for awhile and I finally finished my answer.

smel

Jonathan Crane:
-Freshly baked pie
-Cigar smoke
-Leaves
-Old books

Edward Nygma:
-Hot chocolate
-Printer ink
-New car smell
-Mint

Jervis Tetch:
-Lavender
-Earl grey tea
-Honey
-Perfume

Harvey Dent:
-Hot coffee
-Clean linen
-Oak
-General cooking smells

Harley Quinn:
-Cake
-Popcorn
-Hair dye
-Lilac

Pamela Isley:
-EVERY FLOWER EVER
-Soil
-Rain
-Citrus

Selina Kyle:
-Cologne
-Dryer sheets
-Nail polish
-Roses

Waylon Jones:
-Lemon jam
-Roses
-Soup
-D e a t h

Oswald Cobblepot:
-Expensive cigarettes
-Salt water
-Crisp air
-Lillies

Joker:
-Gasoline
-Cotton candy
-Bleach
-Daisies

instagram

I am truly touched on how many people donated to the gofundme my sister put together so I can buy a new printer for my Etsy shop. This last month I’ve been feeling very stressed out because my printer has been broken and once I found out the repairs would cost more than the printer itself I felt a little hopeless. I have the best support team ever and the best followers ever! Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart! I’m also buying watercolor paper to print on and ink with the money so I can keep stocks up in my Etsy shop better than I have been able to. Thank you again everyone I am truly touched on the support I’ve been given! 🙏🏻🖤 #heathermahlerart

Made with Instagram

So in preparation for tonight’s festivities, my laptop decided to be a piece of shit (but my gram surprised me by having me pick out a new one since this one is getting old and crappy) and then, of course, the printer runs out of black ink when I’m trying to print out the ritual any prayers for tonight.

So, I’m making an emergency trip to Wal-Mart (also to grab a few ingredients for my solstice feast). I havent showered, i feel gross. And im not pleased about having to People™.

But once this gets printed and everything, I can shower and cleanse myself, and then head outside for the ritual.

But it is all worth it. I’m taking a big step into my future spiritual practice. I cant wait to see what the future has in store.

4

Today was a back-straining day. Due to the larger format required for printing, I’ve decided to go back to inking my comic pages traditionally. Which means, I need a large format, A3 scanner. No problem. We’ve an old one in storage.

Turns out our Mustek has given up the ghost. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a replacement Mustek – so sad. Instead, we found an Epson scanner/printer combo for a very good price – yay holiday sales!

One problem… space in my studio is very limited. Something had to go. And unfortunately that something turned out to be my smaller bookshelf. Nooooo!

Hence my spending the day pulling art books off shelves and shuffling things around. The first image is how the corner looked this morning – a lovely mix of art books and comics. The final image is the end result. Most of my vintage comic reprints have been moved into Matt’s office for the time being. The sacrifices I make to bring you a comic, I swear.

But Tiamat is now all settled and happy in her new home.

Yes, I name my tech. I figure if it’s above a certain size it deserves a name. I’ve a water monster theme going on between Leviathan (the Cintiq), Kelpie (the computer), and Kraken/Kenny (the storage unit). Considering the chaos the scanner’s arrival made and the fact I’ll be using it to create worlds… Tiamat seems a good fit.

Tomorrow I need to pick up some 11x17 paper to print my roughs out on as well as some correction fluid. For now, I’m going to spend the rest of the evening curled up with a book, a mug of tea, and the heating pad on my back.

So we got a printer to test our uv package and my coworker said that she was gonna print until the printhead broke to see how bad the ink fucks it up

The printer obviously heard this and began cutting strips of paper instead of printing to delay its death

This is the funniest thing that’s happened to me in weeks our printer has learned of its own mortality and it is AFRAID

4

its been 225 days since frame quest began and not a word has been spoken to me and i have grown bold with the refill of printer ink.

the first picture a commission drawn by @jackiechan-adventures replaced a still life of fruit and is hanging right above a light switch in the kitchen

the second picture a commission drawn by @gerwulfa replaced a collage of my brother when he was in kindergarten (he is graduating high school this year)

the third picture a patreon reward drawn by @elvendork replaced a group shot of the family (whose family? mine i guess) at my cousin’s wedding. it joins the misprinted guy from when the printer was out of ink on what im now calling the orange shelf.

my family is throwing a graduation party ten days so im speeding up the rate at which im doing these in hopes i will have replace every frame before the party

4

i was looking through some au prompts when i found this apartment au

Someone keeps printing out cute cat pictures/messages on my wireless printer and I’m determined to find out whom.

my mind immediately went to arthur being the one to print a ton of cat photos to forte and forte would be the one to interrogate apartment folks to find out who’s been using up her printer ink 

oF COURSE this has ship roots so in this arthur tended to anonymously send cute cats when he knew/had a feeling forte was stressed to help alleviate some of that stress ah ha B’)

I SWEAR I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE

I do not water your garden
of love anymore, but the
hydrangeas still grow there.
I try to forget about you,
but the shower drain is
still matted with your hair.
My drawers are still lined
with your scent, bedroom
pillows still dented with
the imprint of your neck.
The printer is still out of
ink because I still don’t
know how to fill it because
you always did that. I am
Linus and my heart is the
blanket I drag behind me,
picking up love and dust
and dirt and love. My heart
is a hoarder. I’ll admit: I have
not deleted the text messages
yet. My heart is not a hunter,
but a gatherer. My heart has
white knuckles and trouble
letting go of you. Why would
anyone let go of you? You,
who once doused my skin
with your wet mouth like
gasoline. You, the jammed
light switch permanently
glowing inside of me. You,
who is not a chapter in my
book, but the page
I am writing on.
—  I SWEAR I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE by Blythe Baird
Collins Security AU

Title: Collins Security AU

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x Female Reader, Friendships with Misha and Bodyguard!Jared

Subject: Misha owns a private security firm and his two best friends, Jensen and Jared work for him as bodyguards. Y/N is an actress with a problem, she has a stalker.

Side Note: As a gift for my 100 Followers Celebration, I am posting this new work! For the purposes of this AU the boys are not married and are working for Misha. No hate please, and no disrespect for their real life or families, it was another one of those crazy dreams.

Warnings: Angst, Triggers for stalkers, blood, swearing, innuendo. PG-13 for now.

Y/F/N- Your First Name

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

y/e/c your eye color

y/h/c your hair color.

HUGE thank you to my betas, superapplepies, wevegotworktodo and jerkbitchidjitassbutt. I love you all for your support and suggestions!

Tags: @wevegotworktodo@jerkbitchidjitassbutt @superapplepies @redlittlefox @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @chrisatplay @vintagevalentinexx @queenofhellisafangirl @spnashley @mamapeterson @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @noisilyyoungpuppy

If I forgot anyone, which is possible, or you want to be tagged I am building a list, hit me up! Enjoy!

 ***************************************************************************************

One- J&J

Glancing at Jared over his 9mm, Jensen jerked his head to the right to indicate he was clearing the living room. Jared nodded and motioned he was ‘on his six,“ as he fell into step behind him. Hearing a low moan come from the kitchen, he cleared the room and kept moving.

Jensen’s heart beat a staccato pace as he realized the dark blotches were blood on the floor. Both men heard a muffled cry of pain and they entered the kitchen. Jensen’s heart nearly stopped at the sight of Y/N. She lay beside her kitchen island, eyes closed, blood seeping from multiple stab wounds. Jared grunted as if hit, and Jensen spun on the intruder as his friend hit the floor.

Keep reading

The Signs as My Childhood Thoughts
  • Aries: I could be the fastest person on earth if I set my mind to it
  • Taurus: I would be rich from even the smallest job (like being a waitress or something)
  • Gemini: The ink for the printer costs 100 bucks
  • Cancer: I would one day live in the forest and talk to squirrels
  • Leo: I'm secretly in a movie and people are filming my life
  • Virgo: I could get into any college/university even without trying
  • Libra: I would get a giant speaker so the whole world could hear me on it and bring world peace by telling everyone to stop fighting
  • Scorpio: The moon has pimples and that's why there are darker spots on it (craters)
  • Sagittarius: I could run away from home and be taken in by animals like Tarzan
  • Capricorn: 100 dollars can buy you a car or a house
  • Aquarius: I knew more than the teachers
  • Pisces: If it rains enough, we'll all drown in the rainwater
What's in a Sculpture? It's SO Much More than Clay....

I’ve been wanting to make a post like this for a while now.  It’s not because I feel the need to defend or explain my prices.  In fact, a majority of the people I talk to about pricing find me to be very reasonable.  However, there is still the popular public view of “wow, that costs XXX dollars?  It’s just just a wad of clay and paint!!"  or “You should just make art for the love of it!  Money shouldn’t matter!”  Freelance artists need a paycheck just like the rest of the workforce.  Just because a person enjoys their job does not mean they should not be fairly compensated for it.  Art isn’t cheap and neither is working for yourself.  There are a lot of aspects that come into play that you may not have thought of.

When you pay an artist to create an original work of art for you, you are paying for a lot more than simply the materials used to create a piece.  I have created this breakdown of costs, both monetary(material) and time based, to demonstrate just how much work goes into a single commissioned sculpture that I  produce for a client.  It also gives an idea of costs that I need to cover to complete a project.  I have only included costs of items that I "use up” during production.  It doesn’t include upkeep/replacement of tools, equipment, cameras, work surfaces, etc.

Quote and Consult

* Reviewing project proposal
* Determining sculpture cost
* Developing ideas with client
* Light research, especially if client isn’t sure what they want
* Invoicing

—Time Costs : .5-1 hour (this is before I have any payment)—

Fees

* PayPal takes 2.9% + 30 cents right off the bat.  I do NOT upcharge the client to cover the fee, including shipping payment
* After PayPal, I put 30% towards taxes since I am self-employed
* I also pay my own monthly benefits (health/dental/life)

—Monetary Costs : Over ⅓ of the commission cost is spent at this point, before work has even begun—

Research and Pre Production

* Gather reference images through web search
* Print out reference sheets including client-provided refs as well as additional material found via search
* Concept sketches and/or Photoshop Mock Ups showing layout ideas, in some instances
* Create armature layout using reference images

Monetary Costs : printer paper and ink, tracing paper Time Costs : 1-2 hours—

Production

*Armature
Monetary Costs : armature wire, wood base, foil, wire mesh, apoxie sculpt Time Costs : .5 to 1.5 hours—

*Sculpting (clay build up, refining, detailing)
—Monetary Costs : avg. 1 lb/sculpey per project, apoxie sculpt, super glue/epoxy, rubbing alcohol Time Costs : 6-15 hours+ —

*Sanding and Finishing
—Monetary Costs : sandpaper, steel wool, primer Time Costs : 2-5 hours+—

*Painting
—Monetary Costs : paint, brushes, paper towels, pearl ex, varnish Time Costs : 2-10 hours+—

* Client changes
—Time Costs : 1-2 hours—

Photography
(includes taking photos as well as editing and arranging for client)

* 3 set of progress photos during the creation of the piece
* Final photography

—Time Costs : 2-4 hours—

Shipping and Packing

* Packing and boxing
—Monetary Costs : bubble wrap, packing peanuts, quality boxes Time Costs : 1-2 hours—

* Weighing, Shipping Quote, Invoicing and Label
—Monetary Costs : shipping label Time Costs : .5 hours—


A lot of these things may sound small or insignificant, but you would be surprised how fast they add up.  I normally have 2-3 commissions in progress at any given time.  And that’s not my entire day.  I also spend a better part of a day on e-mail and social media, packing/shipping books and casts, sculpting for molds, creating molds, prepping and painting casts, creating sculptures for auction, preparing marketing materials, keeping up with website updates and fixes, research for future projects and shows, and the list goes on.

I hope this post gives non-artists bit of insight into the world of commissioned art and freelance artist.  And I hope this gives artists the confidence in themselves to charge a price for their work that is fair to BOTH sides.  I see so many artists that undercharge.  Your art and your time are worth it.

spiffy-space-dragon  asked:

Ah I love your art so much! You're so talented! I have a few (a lot of) questions: What brands of pens and markers do you use? Do you use a scanner and do a lot of lineart on paper or do you use a graphics tablet or a bit of both? Do you use illustrator and photoshop, and if not, what programs or additional ones do you use? Oh, and if you do use a scanner, what make and model is it? Sorry for so many questions, I just want to know how you do your magic!

Thank you for the kind words!  And now…..

HECK.

YES.

It’s gear talk time, @miss-quantico​.  This. Is. Muh. Favrit. TAAAAHHM!  Buckle up, peoples, this one will be lengthy.  I shall endeavor to unravel each mystery as it was presented to me.

I use a lot of them, but I can more or less break them down into two groups.  Group One is Out and About… meaning what I use when I’m out places sketching with buddies and stuff.

Group Two is professional work.

OUT AND ABOUT!!!!!

From left to Right, we have:

  • Copic Multiliner SP. (Whatever size)
  • Micron (whatever size)
  • Zebra Disposable Brush Pen Extra Fine
  • Pentel Pocket Brush Pen XGFKP-A

All of those can be found on your local Jet Pens website.  I experiment a lot when it comes to travel drawing stuff, but these are the tools I come back to time after time.

VERY PROFESH WORK

From Left to Right

  • Deleter Maru (needs cleaning)
  • Kuretake Menso Brush Small (don’t use THAT much but I like it)
  • Raphael 8404 number 3 (I use this almost exclusively)

These are nice tools. They will treat you right. I arrived here after many years of experimenting.  Papers and inks are important too, but you didn’t ask, so I’m not telling you.

I need to stress something here.  The Raphael is expensive… like $25 a brush. IT IS WORTH IT. If you get a brush at Aaron Brothers, or Michaels or whatever cruddy chain art supply store is in your area, you will think brush inking is for dumbdumbs.  Get a real Kolinsky Sable brush (winsor/newton series 7 is good too, but I had one explode on me so I don’t buy them anymore) and practice with it.  If you cheap out on this piece of equipment you will regret it, but it’s not going to solve all of your problems. YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE WITH IT. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET A GOOD ONE.  I believe I have made myself clear.

HANG ON, NO I HAVEN’T MADE MYSELF AS CLEAR AS I COULD HAVE.  ANOTHER THING I NEED TO STRESS: Learn how to take care of, work with and clean your brushes or you just wasted $25. Be good to your brush.

I color with either copics which you’ve probably seen before and watercolors a lot recently. I buy Sennelier watercolors, but you can buy whatever you like. I’m not your mom.

Do I work physical or digital?

Physical if time permits. Digital if I’ve got two weeks to draw an issue (this has happened)

PROGRAMS THAT ARE GOOD TO USE:
- Manga Studio. For my money, it’s the best program for drawing and inking.
- Photoshop. For my money, it’s the best program coloring and painting.

PROGRAMS THAT ARE BAD TO USE:
- Illustrator.

Illustrator is the worst program in the world.  It’s an “art” program for people who don’t know how to draw and don’t want to know. It’s an “art” program for mathematicians. It’s an “art” program that will make you hate the day you decided to become an artist. Illustrator will pull your eyes out of your face and poop in your eyeholes.  Illustrator will break your wrists and laugh at you as you fumble through its menus.  Illustrator will give you migraines (literally. I’ve had two in my life, one was illustrator related). A picture that should take you an hour will take you a day in illustrator.  THAT is the illustrator experience.

I do not like illustrator.

Sometimes clients require you to use Illustrator.

So learn it.

But you can still hate it.

Many moons ago, I beseeched the Art Ancients… pleaded with them for a sign. I was in dire need of a large format scanner and printer such that I might print my blueline onto illustration board at 11x17, and then scan the inked linework at 11x17.

The Art Ancients answered my prayer.

BEHOLD!  THE MONOLITH THAT IS THE BROTHER MFC-J6510DW.

Is it a great printer?
NO!  It kinda sucks.

Is it a great scanner?
NOPE!

Can it fax?
Supposedly! But I’ve never used it.

You don’t seem to like it that much…?
Correct. BUT it does print bluelines and scan inks at 11x17… so it works really well for my purposes.  It was also a birthday gift from my beautiful wife because she knew I needed it, so I love it with all my heart.

Do they still make this printer?
I have zero idea.  Check Staples maybe?

And with that, I believe I have answers all of your questions.  I hope this was helpful and informative.  If you or anyone else ever have any questions, please let me know and I will do my best to answer them in a timely fashion (although that has been difficult recently)

Thanks!!

Byebye!!