but my hair smells real good

Too Close (B.Barnes) *SMUT*

Too Close

Bucky Barnes

Warnings: a/b/o dynamic, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), swearing, some hair pulling, dirty talk

Tagging; @heatherhoney2000 @widowsfics @myluvislikewow @canibeadino @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @buckysbackpackbuckle @angelsdeadromance @potterhead7656 @annadier @shawnmendes987q @glittervelvetandlace @dislarryting @wine-and-space-donuts @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @gothamsmermaid @fantasticimpaladoctor @nopevilleluas @kinqshley @makeupgirllaur @eileenlikesyou-maybe @incadinkadoo @mermaidinplaid @lostinspace33 @heavymetalangel @therealcap @princess-basket-case



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Draco: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Harry: What?

Draco: Don’t give me that! You know perfectly well what!

Harry: Draco, in case you forgot, I’m not an expert at legilimency, so you might as well save us some time and tell me what you’re on about.

Draco: WHAT IS THAT

Harry: What?

Draco: THAT!

Harry: What the fuck exactly is that??

Draco: THAT THERE ON YOUR HEAD

Harry: Oh yeah, I got a new haircut

Draco: IT’S NOT A HAIRCUT IF YOU BLOODY CHOPPED OFF THE WHOLE THING

Harry: Draco, why are you like this I thought you hated my hair?

Draco: Just because I complain about it doesn’t mean I don’t love it, you oblivious fool!

Draco: WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO SMELL WHEN WE HUG

Harry: Draco…

Draco: WHERE ELSE AM I SUPPOSE TO HOLD ON TO WHEN WE HAVE SEX

(several passerby stumble on nothing and choke on air)

Harry: *turns crimson*

Draco: *falls to the ground sobbing* h0w c0uld u d0 this t0 mE?

Harry:

Draco: *chokes on his tears* Did u at least keep the hair?

Harry:


@inthatmoment-i-was-real I hope I did good x

People think fencing makes me into like this cool suave epic sword fighter but no. Me fencing is more like:

• ow ow my hair is caught in my mask help
• I smell like rust. Or blood.
• I don’t think I can smell sweat anymore
• no I didn’t take a shower I fenced
• dead knees
• more dead knees
• black toenails
• my nose itches but I can’t take off my mask
• is my butt really that unattractive or is it just the knickers
• that person smells nice. Why do they smell nice. We don’t smell nice. They’re weird.
• my majestic weapon isn’t even sharp
• my majestic weapon is bent at a 90 degree angle
• my majestic weapon is broken
• I am the human baked potato
• I only have one pocket why isn’t the other cheek special
• hair stays in place because of sweat
• bruises everywhere
• this lame didnt used to be green
• *crushing on squad mate* some real lannister shit going on here
• why does their butt get to look good
• I didn’t think that would be a stupid move but eff me I was wrong
• chin acne from masks
• my glove is wet ew
• oh someone’s bleeding again
• ooooo nerd drama time
• one thigh is bigger than the other wut
• I did not think counting was so difficult buddy
• no money
• oMg fOoD
• *takes mask off too fast* can someone see where my glasses flew off to this time
• please be the red light
• fuck no I meant green
• fuck it’s red
• yells that make cavemen uncomfortable
• sweat everywhere
• these are the most expensive shoes I own and they are also the smelliest
• obnoxious socks
• does this lame make me look fat
• beginner’s luck or experienced fencer’s stupidity
• death grip handshakes
• dead fish handshakes
• awkward leftie handshake
• that wasn’t even a handshake
• feeling like the Pillsbury dough boy right now
• “engarde.” I have suddenly forgotten everything about fencing.
• is that even legal
• there goes my shoe
• don’t look at the box don’t look at the box
• shit I looked
• Thor is jealous of my thunder thighs
• this jacket is warm and comforting but also wet and disgusting
• I hate fencing
• I love fencing
• it’s okay

Please, feel free to add to this list of fencing awkwardness

Lady In Red

Jason x female!reader

This is kind of like a masquerade type thing…I’m literally typing this in English class right now. I’m supposed to be taking notes. 😭

As I was writing this, i never realized how much i wrote until the end.

Idk what to feel about this one shot though. I’m  just writing anything that pops in my head.

Also, tbvh it was hard to write Jason’s pov like, how do you other writers do it? 

Anyway, on with the story 😬.  

~

You were binge watching your favorite tv show in the middle of the day when you heard a knock on the door.

You’re not friends with that many people so it’s very strange that someone was visiting you at this hour on a Saturday afternoon.

Hitting pause on the remote, you stood up off the couch and made your way towards your door.

“Who is it?” You called out before checking the peep hole.

Hesitantly, you opened the door, “Uh, why’d you come all the way up here?” You asked, looking at the mailman up and down.

The mailman smiled politely, “I was advised to give this to you personally,” He turned to reach inside his bag full of packages and mail and took out a black slick envelope, “For you, miss.”

You took the envelope letting out a small thank you.

After the mailman left, you closed the door, looking down at the envelope. In beautiful white calligraphy, your name was written on the back.

You opened it without hesitation.

You never felt so shocked in your entire life,

Dear (Y/N),
This invitation is to inform you that you are invited to the Annual Masquerade Ball at the Wayne Manor this coming up Friday night at 9:30pm. This invitation was sent to all the citizens of Gotham, we do hope you can attend this beautiful night. Please be sure to wear appropriate clothing. The theme will be black and white.

Yours truly,
The Wayne Family

It took a few seconds for you to comprehend what you just read. You re-read the invitation over and over again just to make sure it’s real. Before you knew it, you were screaming with joy. 

~~ 

The invitation said that the theme is black and white, but you wanted to break that rule. The gown you bought was the most beautiful blood red dress you have ever seen. Not only did it compliment your curves, it was also elegant with a bit of sexy. You also bought black heels, because of course black goes with everything, and a black mask with elegant twirls.

It was now the night of the ball and you were walking up the stairs towards the entrance of the Wayne Manor. The door was open, and a butler was standing near one of the double doors. He was checking invites with a strange flashlight.

He checked all of the invites of those who were in front of you, now it was your turn.

You put on your mask, and walked up towards the butler.

The butler has a British accent, “Good evening, miss. Hope you have a wonderful night,” He says with a warm smile as he waved the light on the invitation. You saw a familiar symbol when he did that but couldn’t really make out what it really was. Your best guess was that there was something written there, but in invisible ink, “If you need anything, just call for Alfred, that would be me.” He finished and smiled again before handing your invitation back.

You smiled at the adorable old man, letting out a thank you. He didn’t notice the fact that you were breaking the dress code because of the long black trench coat you wore above your dress.

Without anyone looking, you took off the trench coat as you walked in.

As you walked in the manor, you had to open another set of double doors. 

The ballroom was beyond spectacular. Music was playing, people were either gossiping or just chatting, but as you walked through the doors everyone literally stopped what they were doing and turned to you. 

The attention was nerve wracking, you were the only one wearing a different color. Women were wearing either white or black and so were the men.

You mentally shook off your nervous thoughts and walked around looking for a certain table that has a card with your name on it. 

“Who is she?”

“Why is she wearing red?”

“Attention seeker probably.” Someone snickered. You turned your head as you reached your table, glowering at the girl who said that about you. You felt a sense of victory after she pathetically cowered away.

You turned back and sat down at your table, letting out a short sigh. 

JASON’S POV

“Oh come on, I can beat you in an arm wrestling match any day, bet.” I said to the little demon a little over dramatically.

Damian never stopped talking about this new “game” he learned in school yesterday and wanted to start an arm wrestling match with literally everyone in the house.

Except Alfred, he knows he shouldn’t mess with Alfred.

“Is that so, Todd. Well, if you would like to lose this bet then-” His gaze was drawn to somewhere else. His jaw dropped, which was really shocking, he never did this before since he’s always scowling.

Except when he’s asleep, I hate to admit it but he looks fucking adorable when he sleeps, “What are you looking at?” I asked as I turned my head towards the entrance.

It was like something from a book. She caught everyones attention by just opening the double doors. My mind turned blank when I saw her. After the Lazerous Pit, my mind was fucking messed up. That pounding you hear after listening to very loud music, imagine just hearing that every second. She just made everything quiet. All this anxiety just…disappeared. 

Ever since the Lazerous Pit, I couldn’t stop thinking about that damn clown, I’ve always felt empty and cold inside. But this girls just made me feel like fireworks have erupted in me.

I finally felt peace.

“She’s mine.” 

“She’s mine.”

I looked down, glaring at Damian, “Excuse me, sit the fuck down you’re like 4.” 

He closed is eyes, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, “For your information Todd, when I was 4 I climbed-”

“Yeah yeah I know whatever.” I interrupted him by pushing him towards our table. 

Damian started yelling at me in Arabic but before he could even stab me, I made my way towards the girl. She was sitting at the table on the other side of the room.

I strode over, making sure my cologne was still making me smell like a million bucks.

I was only a few feet away when I finally got a real good look of her, her (h/c) hair wasn’t up in any style, it was loose.

Beautiful.

And that dress really, really suits her. 

She seems like she was in her own little world when I arrived at her table, not noticing I was even there.

When I spoke up, “Hey, I’m Jason.” Her attention was finally on me.

Her smile took my breath away. Right at this moment, I knew that this would be the start of something amazing.

Hatchling

Day One

Gotta do this for two weeks right? Let’s get this show on the road.

(I better edit this before I turn it in.)

I’m naming my ‘baby’ Tabitha. She’s two ounces in weight. I might be crocheting her a hat. Her shell is a pale white, and I hope I can raise her well enough so she grows up well-adjusted and with a solid start in life… or at least well enough so I get an A on this project.

She’s sleeping beside me, close to the lamp but like not RIGHT beneath it, I’m making sure she won’t be too warm. Her matchbox bed’s super cute too, I doodled little pink flowers on it with my highlighter. It might just be a fucking egg but I gotta take care of it, right?

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anonymous asked:

If you feel like it, could you please continue to cling to canon and give us more of Sam and Dean and George the cat? Dean + cat is a perennial weakness of mine and I swooned over that little canon-compliant snippet.

It takes about three months of George living in the bunker before Dean fully capitulates. He doesn’t say anything, of course. No discussion about whether or not they’re keeping the damn cat. It’s just, one day as they sit working in the library, there comes the faint scratching sound from the electrical room as George covers up his mess in the half-a-cardboard-box with dirt in it that they’d rigged up, and Dean says, finally, not looking up from his laptop, “We ought to pick up a real litter box, that thing’s a pain in the ass,” and Sam blinks at him for a few seconds and says, “I could get one on Amazon,” and Dean grunts and keeps reading whatever he’s reading, and–well, that’s it. Sam puts a scratching post and a little cat bed in his basket, too. Red plaid flannel, soft-looking. Might as well keep George on theme, he thinks.

George never uses the bed, of course. He sleeps curled up on the classic cars in the garage and on the leather armchairs in the library and directly on top of Sam’s laptop (never Dean’s, and Sam’s starting to get suspicious about that). He shreds the scratching post in about three weeks, scattering little carpet tufts all over the kitchen floor. Dean props his hands on his hips and sighs, gives the cat a hard look where he’s sprawled on the table, but George only tucks his paws under his chest and starts up that contented rumbling purr, and so Dean can’t do much but sweep up. He makes Sam buy one of those weird ones made out of cardboard after that, though, leaning over Sam’s shoulder as they bicker about whether to order the one with the climbing tower or not (I’m not having a cat coming at me at head height, Dean says, and Sam thinks that Dean just doesn’t want to once again be the shortest person in the bunker, but he keeps that to himself). 

They don’t sleep together every night, though they do more often than not. Another thing they don’t really talk about, not that they need to. They used to keep the door closed, too, until George came to stay. That first night, Sam picked his head up around two in the morning to insistent tiny screeches over metal, and Dean sighed into the pillow, and Sam scrubbed his hand over his face and said, if we give in once–, and Dean sighed and said, story of my life, and so it was left to Sam to get up and shuffle across the cold concrete and crack the door, and then a silvery little shadow coiled around his ankles in the dark and made a soft mrr, which Sam was going to pretend was an apology, and by the time Sam made it back to bed there was a fuzzy lump tucked in against Dean’s warm side, purring contentedly. No, Sam said, but when he took his spot back George just walked spiky circles around both of their legs and then turned into a loaf on the small of Dean’s back and started purring even louder. Dean sighed again, mumbled, this is your fault, and Sam rolled his eyes, but he scritched behind George’s ear, too. He’s a very soft cat.

Tonight, Sam wakes up with a start, heart pounding in the back of his throat as he tries to gulp down air. It takes him a moment–but no, he’s in the bunker. Four in the morning, six years after he got away, and it was just a nightmare. Everything’s as fine as it always is. He scrubs a hand over his face, laying there alone in the dark. He went to bed early, not long after dinner, and it turns out Dean didn’t join him. No big deal, though at the moment he kind of wishes–but, no. Doesn’t matter. He’s just cold, that’s all, and he didn’t work his brain hard enough before bed. Might as well get up now, though, even if he’s groggy, because–well, because.

He trips on the cat immediately, soft fur stretched out in front of his bedroom door. “God–” he says, and there’s a skitter as George bolts away, his tail probably trod on, “goddamn it, cat.” A little sharper than he meant, a little louder, something trembling weirdly under his skin. Fuck.

He’s sitting in the library, just one of the lamps on, holding his coffee against his chest. The warm of it, the smell, it’s–good. He breathes. Wonders how long it’ll be until Dean gets up. He could go for a run, kill some time, only it’s raining outside, enough that he can hear it even down here, and it just sounds so… miserable. He’s staring, at nothing, and he has no idea how long it’s been when there’s a nudge against his shin, and then George hops up onto his lap, needle-claws sinking immediately through his pajama pants. He hisses, but he still feels bad about earlier, and he just stays still, trying not to wince, while he’s kneaded into submission. It’s only a minute or so before apparently he’s the right consistency and George winds himself into a circle, all twenty pounds and plumy tail wrapped up neatly with his heavy little head tucked against Sam’s knee. Sam lays a hand on his wide soft back. “Hey, cat,” he says, quiet, and George starts up a steady rumble in response, warm and constant as one of those stupid Magic Fingers mattresses Dean always used to love.

When Dean finds them, later, Sam has finished the coffee and is just sitting, content to be a cat pillow, at least for now. Dean squints at the two of them. Sam tries to smile at the pretty epic bedhead Dean’s rocking, but Dean obviously sees something a little different because his expression changes. He comes over and runs a hand through Sam’s hair, eyes narrow. Sam shrugs, then lifts his face up. Dean kisses him, close-mouthed and obedient, and he smells good, familiar. When Dean pulls back he runs a strong calloused thumb around behind Sam’s ear, and then he crouches and scratches the back of George’s neck, his fingers brushing against Sam’s where he hasn’t moved his hand. “Hey, cat,” Dean says, voice scratchy, and Sam smiles, for real that time. “You wanna give up my brother?”

“Nah,” Sam says, propping his head on his free hand. “I’m leaving you. George and I are gonna travel the country, taking care of–uh, mouse hauntings, or something.”

“Oh, okay,” Dean says, and stands up, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I guess you don’t want another cup of coffee, then. Or, I’m thinking maybe some bacon.” 

“Hm,” Sam says, and picks George up with a discontented mrr. “Throw in some pancakes and I’m in.”

Dean rolls his eyes and scoops the cat out of Sam’s hands, tucking him under his arm football-style to carry him out to the kitchen for breakfast. “This is what I have to deal with,” he says, apparently to the cat. “What kind of man can’t live on bacon alone? I gotta make little cakes, too? Come on.”

Sam grins, and brushes the cat hair off his legs, or tries to. It’s going to be that kind of morning, he thinks, and then goes to stop Dean from feeding their cat Sam‘s share of the bacon.

Imagine meeting Peter for the first time at the grocery store because you smelled so good & he just leans over to sniff your hair real quick “Can I help you?” “Nope, just trying to look at the cereal but you’re pretty face is in the way” “Is that so? Well maybe if I give you my number, you can call me & my pretty face & I will get in your way again” “…marry me” “Dinner first, then we can talk marriage” “My kind of wife”


AND RIGHT BEFORE LEAVING YOU SNIFF HIM AND GO “You smell good too” with a wink at the end and he pretty much dies

Originally posted by lissachan504

Requested by me because we all know it’s bound to happen eventually the doofus loves that game

MASTERLIST.

He was still thrown off my the fact that a pink haired fairy in underwear that only he could see was standing right next to him, wiggling her brows suggestively as she pointed at a girl drinking coffee at her table. Was this some kind of fucked up dream from playing too much Huniepop? Probably, but how real the sun felt on his skin, or how tasty the bakery goods smelled confused and frightened him. His deep brown irises shot to the clock – it wasn’t dysmorphed, then for the umpteenth time he counted his fingers – five on each pair, normal.

If this was a dream…Fuck was it realistic.

“Well, stop standing around here like an idiot!” Kyu started getting impatient, punching his shoulder lightly, “Go on, talk to her!” He wanted to snap at her and blurr something like ‘No fucking way’, but talking to himself in public was the last thing he needed. With a glare sent the pink fairy’s way – did he really just do that?? - he inhaled a breath of air for courage and staggered to the lonely female checking her phone.

It took a while for her to notice him, leaving him awkwardly standing there for nearly a whole minute. Her eyes rolled up from her phone to look at him, (colour) irises twinkling with interest as a timid smile lit up her lips along with a crease of her confused brows. Mark felt his breath hitch in his throat – who…who were you, exactly? He remembered the other girls, but you…He had never seen you before.

“May I help you?” You said politely. Mark felt a vibration in his pocket, and clearing his throat he gave you a lame wave and a goofy smile, his hand roaming to his pocket and taking out his phone.

-Nice tits doll face.

-I’m new here, and I wanted to say hi.

-Why a pretty thang like you sittin’ 'ere all alone, aye?

What the fuck is this?, he gaped, his irises shooting from you to the phone and back, No, don’t tell me that these are–

“Conversation starters!” Kyu exclaimed happily, latching onto his arm, “I’d pick the first one if I were you,” she finished with a wink.  

“Hi,” He finally managed to squeeze out, “I-I’m Mark. I just moved here and uhm, thought I could meet some new people, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, not at all.” You replied sweetly, “Have a seat if you like. I’m (Name).”

His phone buzzed again as he sat down.

-So, what dem size?

-Do you crossfit?

-A magical fairy is that only I can see is forcing me to talk to you, can we please just get this over with?

What the fuck is with these questions?!

Requests are opened!

let me describe what it was like meeting Harry styles. I didn’t get a picture, but it was still a moment I’ll never forget and I don’t even need a photo to remember. So I ran into him on the street (which never fucking happens) and somehow there weren’t a whole bunch of people around him and I was so nervous my heart was practically beating out of my chest and I went up to him, petrified and he looked at me and almost laughed at how nervous I was and then I went “Uh,” and then I held out a hand for him to shake because I’m an idiot and he frowned then smirked and took it, but I got really frustrated with myself and just tugged him against me and pulled him into a really tight hug and I sort of just buried my face in his neck and my breath was really shaky but I didn’t let go and he was very patient and waited for me to let go on my own and then he looked at me straight in the eye and went “that was the best hug I’ve ever had” and I was still shaking and I was still holding onto his hand but he was chill with it and I said “I practiced it with my friend like ten times” and then laughed, while I was almost crying but managing to keep my calm and he smiled really big and let me just say when he talks to you, he stays really close and looks literally into your soul like I had his full attention and I’m really bad with attention and so I had to force myself to look at him and even tho I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember I was kind of uncomfortable with the amount of attention he was giving me but then I continued and said, “I just want to thank you because one direction has been a huge part of my life for five years and you’ve been such a support in the hardest times” and I kinda insulted myself without realizing and he told me “no no no you’re beautiful” and then I started running my mouth and he listened to every word and oh my god he is incredible he is so incredibly polite i’m pretty sure he thanked me twelve times throughout the conversation and asked me if I was ok a billion times and I asked if HE was ok and he looked kind of shocked and then said he was very ok and oh my god he’s the most amazing person in the world and then I was just like ok enough imma leave before I break down so “I should go, see ya” and he sort of chuckled and his voice was super raspy and he said bye and hugged me one last time and then I left and once he was out of sight I started sobbing bc he smelled so good and I had to pry my eyes away from his chest because his shirt was a bit unbuttoned and his hair was up and his cross necklace omg and his eyes were so pretty and his lips were really pink and his dimples omg and his fucking eyebrows and jawline and his skin and his smile and his cheeks were kinda blushy and he was so intimate and real and right in front of me and everything I dreamed he’d be and he actually is a pretty normal person I thought he would be a bunch taller but he stands about 5′11″ at most and he is every amazing thing I thought he was and he is so gentle and kind and then I called my mom to come pick me up because I was alone and freaking out and I got in the car and she was like “omg why are you crying” and I was like “I just met the love of my life” and she was like “why is that a bad thing” and I told her the story and at the end, we both talked at the same time, me saying “and he won’t remember me” and my mom saying, “he’ll probably remember you forever” and I swear to god that day ruined me emotionally and this is the biggest run on sentence I’ve ever seen.

kuchisake-xenomorph  asked:

What was your favourite quote from 2017 IT? Mine was: " it doesn't smell like ca-ca in here to me, senõr! "

There were so many good quotes in the movie! And that’s also one of them!

Pennywise’s “It was real enough for Georgie” was so good, but I think my favorite of them all is Richie’s “GO BLOW YOUR DAD, YOU MULLET WEARING ASSHOLE”

And the reason I love this quote even more is because a “mullet” in Danish is called “svenskerhår” (Swedish hair) and I find that hilarious AF XD

Lavender Lambs and Pacifiers

A/N: yo I uploaded last weekend and this weekend? its a miracle. im never this consistent

Summary: Dan has a secret, and it’s more of a someone, rather than a something. Maybe he should learn to be more careful with the evidence when his mother babysits Noah.

Words: 3633

Warnings: nothing really, just swearing as usual. fluffy fluff

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fourleafclover72-deactivated201  asked:

Cuddling with Curly please

ur the real g :,) this is why ur one of my favs
thanks so much for requesting!
hope u enjoy 💘💘

cuddling with curly !
- he’s so lanky????
- sleeps either on his stomach or side
- falls asleep as soon as he hits the fucking mattress tbh
- sleeps like a rock so when u cuddle ur trapped
- #sorrynotsorry
- tangled limbs and soft snores
- also smells good
- he nuzzles his head in ur neck and likes to smell u 2
- plays with ur hair or rubs shapes in ur back and stuff
- grumpy shit in the mornin
- he’s fairly cold so u guys have to have a lot of covers and pillows so ur extra soft and warm it’s great
- his hands are surprisingly soft minus the rough knuckles, so he always has his hands on u
- he sleeps in only boxers unless he falls asleep before he undresses
- constantly falling out of bed
- he talks in his sleep,, it’s so cute
- bedhead

hope u enjoyed this bOyyyyy,,, curly is so good 👌💘

Imagine Meeting Duff in a Record Store

“I’ll just be a minute.” I say to my friend as I get out of her car, “I really wanna find this record.”

Rolling her eyes at me, “You’re never just a minute in a record store. But whatever I gotta magazine.” Smiling at her while I shut the door.

The smell of vinyl hitting me as I push the rusted door open. Rows of records down long aisles, a man at the front with long black hair says hello and to let him know if I need help. Politely saying thank you as I make my way to the first section. Flipping though, looking at the different covers.

“That’s a real good one ya got there.” I jump, the deep voice startling me in my zoned out state, “Whoa I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Turning around to find a tall, massively tall, blonde man in front of me. His blonde hair standing up in certain places like he’s just woken up. But he’s cute; kinda rough along the edges in his white torn tank top and black jeans, cowboy boots pulled over them.

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BTS AS YOUR LAB PARTNERS

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Namjoon :

“Step aside. I got everything under control * breaks Erlenmeyer* My bad * tries picking it up but breaks the tube test at the same time* F*CK NOT AGAIN!!!!”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Jin :

“Can you hold this real quick * hands you all the material and takes out his mirror* I gotta check out if my hair is okay,cause’ the googles are way too ugly to mtach my perfection.I’m also hungry~ * takes out food in class even if it’s prohibited*

Originally posted by jitamin

Jimin :

”OMFG WAS THAT A FLAME *gasps*??!!!*gets close to you* See that flame? It’s not comparable to our flame Y/N *smiles* But damn, it stinks though . OUR LOVE SMELLS GOOD UNLIKE THIS CHEMICAL REACTION!”

Originally posted by taehanstic-baby

Taehyung  :

“What the heck is a basic solution? Is it something I’m suposed to know?What does H+ has to do with acidity? I thought it was a letter? F*CK THIS COURSE. i’M DROPPING IT.”

Originally posted by kkuks

Jungkook :

‘’Atoms, Like pardon? What was that? Some kind of seasoning I put in my lamb skewers? And that other thing….  Calcium Carbonate!!! Yeah, does that thing happen to be in my milk , perhaps?This is making me hungry *meme face*”

Originally posted by vmiin

Hoseok :

“ Why are we studying this when we don’t even have any chemistry together * rolls eyes* GOT IT? CAUSE’ like you and I, we don’t have that kind of chemistry? No, okay, I’ll go find another lab partner * walks away*”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Yoongi :

“Let’s get this shit over with and Burn all of it. Bulatorne  * holds briquet* #celebratoryDance”

sourwolf1999  asked:

so I have actually two prompts to ask (1) something happens to Karen and she ends up in the hospital (2) anything domestically fluffy PS: I'm sorry if this is to much to ask, so if you want to do just one I'm okay with that 😍💖 (but let it be the first one 😂). And thank you sooo much!!💖💖

Thank you for sending this in, oh my goodness! This has been a blast to write – I decided to opt for 1 and add in sprinkles of 2, how about that? ;) Also, if this prompt is your jam I’ve got one other (older) fic of mine you might like! Though Death Be More Kind fits this bill perfectly, if you haven’t read it yet. ^^

As for your prompt… I hope you’ll enjoy this!


Her ears are still ringing.

She winces at the high-pitched whining tone that has wormed its way into her eardrums. Wonders if the quiet in the room around her is setting it off even further, or if she just permanently suffered some damage to her eardrums from that explosion.

The fact that she’s more concerned about damage to her hearing than about the varying cuts and bruises on her body is probably a testament to how good hospital painkillers can be when they work.

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you.
you are my moon, my rhythm,
you are safety
you are comfort
you are where I want to be
your touch and your words,
the way your hair feels through my fingers and
your eyes when we are together
memories cover my mind in a soft blanket
that still smells like you.
how you hold me,
when I disappear, when I break
thank you.
for your lips, your hands,
your soft voice, your laugh
how you looked when you first said you loved me
thank you for keeping me here,
keeping me real, keeping me from fading.
thank you for being something to live for.
—  You, A.U.
Grooming Tips for All My Niggas

Alright, y’all

You’re nasty. Not tryna start nothing, but y’all are, it’s just a fact of nature, niggas is nasty. We smell, look, taste and feel nasty in our natural states. And ain’t nobody tyna get hollered on by a nasty ass nigga. But it’s all good, ya boy got you, we gonna get you looking smelling and feeling fresh as hell so you can go hit the club, or hit the bed. Let’s hit it.

To get started, you gonna need some tunes. I prefer something that’s gonna get you thinking about that one you tryna talk to, like some Badu or Sade, but my homeboy be swearing by Drake, so choose what you gonna wanna kick it with for an hour or two.

Alright, let’s hit it.

1.      We gonna take care of your face first, ‘cause this is gonna take some good time. Y’all know that shaving ain’t no punk for a nigga. We naturally got thick and wavy/curly facial hair, which has trouble growing up through the skin. Any nigga who shaves knows the hell that is your face bumping up, especially under your chin. So go hit the store. Walgreens is gonna have a majority of what you need. Wherever you go though, hit it up and get you some witch hazel and some aloe vera. Less than then bones for the both. Also, get you a double edge safety razor. It’s about $25 for one, and it’ll last you forever. If you a stingy/broke nigga, grab a bag of the single blade Bic disposables, but trust me, save up for the safety razor. It’s hella good for that Black skin and hair, and a nigga don’t wanna be bumpy (and red, for my lightskin niggas) tryna step. For shaving cream, you either need to get that professional shit with a brush, or else get you some olive oil (yo momma/sister/girl got some for her hair, I’m sure). Also, a bar of black soap is made for Black skin and’ll leave you feeling fresh and clean. Ask the Black Muslims, the guys at your barbershop, or hit up AfricaImports.com for some at a reasonable price, because it’s cheap. Go on and lather your face up real good with the soap, and wash with a washcloth in your sink. The soap lathers brown, so you’ll need to wipe down the sink area when you’re done, ain’t nobody wanna find some brown mess all over your sink. Rinse your face off and get your shaving cream or the olive oil, and slather it on your beard. Because there’s only one blade on your razor, you’ll have an easy ass time getting straight sideburns and smooth designs if you want them, but also there won’t be a lot of pull on your beard that leads to bumping. Just be careful with the safety razor, cause a nigga slip once and you got a nice gash to go show off at the spot. Rinse whatever remainders off of your face. The olive oil will have your face feeling smooth. That’s what you looking for. Ain’t nobody wanna lay up with a rough face-having nigga all up on them (PROTIP though, always but a barrier between your face and someone else when you laying up together. Beard stubble is rougher than a mug on someone else’s skin). PROTIP FOR THE BALDING NIGGAS! Shave it off. Niggas look good bald, but not with patchy ass hair.

2.      Hit the showers. You need to wash it all, my dude. Get you washcloth and clean that shit up. Be real thorough especially in your private areas. Ain’t nobody wanna experience yo dick cheese or smell your ass, so especially if your expecting company in that area, clean it out thoroughly. Especially pay some attention to your ass. Get all around, in the hair if you got some, and even rinse out the first little bit of your butt hole. Ain’t no shame in being clean, my dude. Bring a pair of scissors in the shower with you: I prefer the tiny ones with rounded points that they sell for elementary school kids at target or whatever, so you don’t have to worry about stabbing yourself. You don’t need to take everything off, but if you think something’s a little uneven or out of control, trim it up. Your dick looking like Shorty from Scary Movie 2, but you want Scary Movie 1, dude. If your armpits or ass looking thick as the jungle, consider that too, but it’s not as necessary. Rinse off well though, you don’t want no random stray pubes drifting about. Also, scrub your feet down, including between your toes. Wash your hair: hair naturally keeps odour, so if you ain’t washed it in a while you finna be musty, so get it right.

3.      Pat dry, and PUT ON SOME GODDAMN LOTION. For real, ain’t nobody wanna touch up on a dry ass nigga all day (or all night).

4.      Let’s talk about your feet. They’re nasty. Here’s how you can fix that. You have two options. Number one, go get you a pedicure. Ain’t no shame, hell I got some play today sitting in the chair while my girl Nancy lotioned me up, buffed me out and gave me a clear coat for $20. You need a recommendation in Colorado, I got you. Otherwise, go get you some high-quality nail clippers and a nail file. Clip yourself down neat and even, use the file if need be. Now, slather your feet in lotion, I mean slather, and put on some socks until your ready to go. Once you’re ready to walk out the door, change your socks and wipe off the extra lotion. This should keep you mostly moist and smooth down there for a bit. Then your feet won’t be knicking and getting all up on your sheets and your partners legs. If you’re extra crusty, I recommend Crisco instead of lotion on your feet.

5.      Let’s work on your scent. Now you can keep all of those cans of Axe laying around in case you need something fast or you’re not looking to impress on the daily, but anytime you’re looking to smell fresh and sexy, I’mma recommend you get yourself a professional fragrance. Best way to do this is to first learn about notes, what you like, what you don’t like, and what smells good on you. Hit up Fragrantica.com and browse around a little bit, or go over to the department store in the mall and find the little men’s fragrance area. Smell a couple, first sprayed in the air, then on yourself (don’t mix). If you find something online your not sure about, order a decant (they’re small bottles that you can spend less than ten dollars on). Find a fragrance that both you and your target audience will think is fire. Give yourself three sprays: neck/chest area, back of neck, wrists.

6.      If you really wanna be a fly ass nigga, get yo colours right. Know what colours go good together. Look at some models at note the colours. Look at some ladies and note the colours (a lot of them have got this on point better than us, but some don’t, so take a grain of salt with that shit). Here’s a tip: opposites are good. Go find a colour wheel and look at the opposites. Red and green, blue and orange, yellow and purple, etc. Don’t be that nigga who only got one colour scheme either, or that nigga who only wanna wear black, grey and blue. Think about which colours look good with your skin, and make sure your jewellery matches too. For example, I don’t like my skin in gold jewellery or bright orange. I be killing ‘em in silver and turquoise though. Guess what I be stocking up on. You got it.

7.      Brush your teeth. BRUSH YOUR TONGUE YOU MUSTY NIGGA. That shit’s uncomfortable, but it’ll have you smelling right for hours.

8.      Hit the club/date/party/bedroom/whatever. Talk right. Treat people right. Smell fresh. Taste fresh. Feel fresh. Look fresh.