but my dad wouldn't let me watch

...Parents
  • Me: *takes doggo back into apartment* Come on, Doggo. Tell me what your issue with that guy was. Did his suit scare you?
  • Doggo: IT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, HUMAN.
  • Me: But it is my concern, you're my Doggo after all!
  • Doggo: I DO NOT BELONG TO YOU. YOU'RE LESSER THAN I AM. STICK YOUR HAND IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
  • Me: Doggo, you know I won't listen to that sort of stuff anymore. *cellphone rings*
  • Me: I wonder who it could be? *places Doggo down and answers phone*
  • Me: Yes, this is she. No, I'm her only family. ...oh. Okay. Well, thank you for informing me. Yes. Goodbye. *hangs up*
  • Doggo: BAD NEWS?
  • Me: Yeah. My mom died. In a car wreck.
  • *elsewhere in the world*
  • Worker 1: I think I'm done. I'm quitting.
  • Worker 2: Already?
  • Worker 1: I knew I'd see some grizzly shit taking this job, but that wreck... there were actual dead bodies there.
  • Worker 2: It's part of the job. You get used to it after a while.
  • Worker 1: How can you possibly get used to mangled bodies?
  • Worker 2: It's called desensitization. Like I said, you just get used to it after a while. It's terrible, but life is terrible.
  • Worker 1: I don't want to get desensitized. I enjoy my humanity. I don't know how you could sit around and willingly lose yours.
  • Worker 2: You're a whiny kid. Someone's gotta do our job. Besides, if being desensitized means losing your humanity, I guess I lost mine a long time ago.
  • Worker 1: Is this leading to one of your stories? I don't feel like hearing one right now.
  • Worker 2: Well, I'm driving the truck. Sounds like you've got no choice.
  • Worker 1: Dammit.
  • Worker 2: Did I ever tell you that my dad killed my mom right in front of me?
  • Worker 1: In passing, yeah. It was weird that you just casually dropped that in conversation now that I think about it.
  • Worker 2: Well, 40 years after the fact, the whole situation seems casual. I was eight and my dad took mom and I on a camping trip. They argued, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. Then, one night my dad crawled out of tent for a while, returned with a huge-ass rock and smashed my mom's face in right beside me. I was awake for the whole thing. It was because of the crickets. They sounded gigantic. Wouldn't shut the fuck up.
  • Worker 1: Jesus, that sounds awful. Seeing your mom get killed by your own dad like that, not the crickets.
  • Worker 2: No, the crickets were just as bad. A lot of what I saw I managed to blot out, but the sound of those crickets is still fresh in my mind. I fucking hate it. Anyway, it didn't end there. My dad made me ride with him and my dead mother all the way to grandparents', on my mom's side, house. He dumped the body on their lawn and then we rode around for what felt like hours while he cried. I never saw my dad cry before that day. The police showed up eventually.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: ...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: ...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: Well, that was fucked up.
  • Worker 2: Like I said before, life is fucked up.
  • Worker 1: You said life is terrible.
  • Worker 2: Same difference. Continuing on, my grandparents, on my mom's side, raised from that point on. They coddled me, but it didn't matter. I was a broken child. I could go on forever about what a fuck up I was up into my twenties, but that's a whole story in and of itself. Just know that through this all, I wanted to see my dad. I loved my old man, despite everything. He pleaded guilty. Was doing life without parole. My grandparents wouldn't let me see him once while I was under their watch. Which was understandable. As soon as I was old enough to die for my country, I sought him out.
  • Worker 1: Was he crazy?
  • Worker 2: No, he wasn't crazy, asshole. He was a normal guy. Okay, maybe being in prison for so long made him kind of weird, but I think prison will do that to anyone. He was happy to see me. Surprised by how much I had grown. Said that I looked just like my grandfather, on his side. He liked fishing. Said it was the one thing he missed the most about being free. He read a lot of fishing magazines in prison.
  • Worker 1: What'd he have to say about, y'know, killing your mom?
  • Worker 2: We only talked about mom twice. The first was on the day I had first seen him again. Broke down crying. He apologized to me for an hour straight. Wasted our entire meeting time. The second time was some years afterward. One of the last times I spoke to him.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: ...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: What'd he say?
  • Worker 2: He told me about what drove him to murder my mom.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: ...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: Why'd he murder your mom?
  • Worker 2: My dad was a laid back guy. You'd be hard pressed to think he was doing life in prison for murdering his wife, but on the day he decided to tell me everything, he was deadly serious. He loved my mom so much. Yeah, they argued, but it was just your typical marital spats. He'd do anything for that woman, but that night out in the woods he saw something strange.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: What'd he-
  • Worker 2: It was a wolf. Not a normal wolf. A big ass wolf. Its jaw was drooping open. Teeth as white as the apocalypse. Fur was gray like the hair of some terrible hawk of an old woman. Tongue lolling out like the thing was dead... it had three eyes. One big, nasty, human looking eye was smack dab on its forehead. He told me when he saw it, it nodded its head to the side, looking all curious. It wasn't a vicious wolf. Just curious one.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: Then it spoke to him. Telling him a bunch of things that were on his mind. A bunch of terrible, shitty things that he thought. Things he'd never do, but he wanted to do if he could. He didn't talk back to it. He didn't think he was allowed to. Said he felt like the wolf was better than him. So, it was a one sided conversation. Wolf just told my dad things he already knew. Then it walked off into the woods. Dad found a big rock, crawled into our tent, and smashed mom's face in. That was that.
  • Worker 1: Mmm...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: ...
  • Worker 2: ...
  • Worker 1: So the wolf made your dad kill your mom, right?
  • Worker 2: Yes, son, I suppose so.
  • Worker 1: What do you think the wolf was?
  • Worker 2: I don't know.
  • Worker 1: What did your dad think it was?
  • Worker 2: I don't know. Just a wolf.
  • Worker 1: You think it's still out there?
  • Worker 2: I don't know. I didn't see the thing.
  • Worker 1: How many people did you tell that story to?
  • Worker 2: Just two. You, and my wife.
  • Worker 1: Seriously, does this make me special?
  • Worker 2: No, kid. You're not special. I just like to talk.

anonymous asked:

My Dad wouldn't let me watch Pokemon because he said it was stupid

It is stupid. Explain the plot of it out loud and see how it sounds. Let’s be honest with ourselves it’s kind of stupid.