but most of it is not and i participate in this routine weekly

The 14 Worst Things About Hugh Hefner, as Revealed in Holly Madison's New Book

Note: these aren’t the worst things he’s ever done, but they do convey a useful insight into his character

1. Though they publicly denied it, all girlfriends were expected to participate in Hef’s bizarre bedtime group sex ritual. “I didn’t immediately realize that all girlfriends were required to sleep with Hef,” Madison writes.

2. Hef would take photos of his girlfriends and him every night before they went out, then have them delivered to each girlfriend’s door the next morning. The photos “only amplified the massive pressure to always look perfect and cause the girlfriends to spend hours critiquing their appearances,” Madison writes. (She also describes Hef as a “hoarder” with “endless desire for momentos.”)

3. Hef offered Madison a quaalude out of a crumpled tissue on her first night out clubbing with him. When Madison told him she doesn’t do drugs, she says Hef replied, “Usually I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.’”

4. Among his bizarre set of mansion rules, Madison writes, were that the girlfriends change into identical flannel pajamas before the bedtime routine.

5. He would watch porn, smoke pot, and jerk off while his girlfriends and whoever else happened to be joining them that night pretended to get it on around him.Madison says they would take turns pleasuring Hef, but he always finished by himself. Madison reveals that she made her first foray into Hef’s bedroom after a night out with “roughly a third of a bottle of vodka sloshing around in my stomach.” “There was zero intimacy involved,” she writes. “No kissing, nothing. It was so brief that I can’t even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine.”

6. He made his sons Marston, 9 years old when Madison moved in, and Cooper, 10, share a bedroom with a girlfriend. This was Bedroom 3, which came with three beds and a private bath. “Though they never stayed over when I was there, there were still toys scattered across the bedroom floor,” Madison writes, “which made for an incredibly odd and, frankly, creepy juxtaposition.”

7. He would constantly create drama and infighting among his girlfriends by randomly changing his long-held positions or household policies to favor one over the rest of them. Shortly after Madison moved in, she recalls, one girlfriend moved out of Bedroom 5, a small room that was coveted because it was a single, affording whoever occupied it much-needed privacy that was otherwise hard to come by in the mansion. It was assumed that April, who became a girlfriend only several months before Madison, would move into Bedroom 5, but instead she asked Hef if she could have Bedroom 3 entirely to herself. This was seen as unfair by the rest of the girlfriends based on how bedroom hierarchy had previously worked. But Hef approved her request, forcing Madison to move out of the room. Hef was also known to hate red lipstick, Madison says in her book. When Madison came home from the salon after a makeover that included shorter hair and red lipstick, Hef reportedly told her, “I hate the whole look. I hate the makeup and I hate the red lipstick.” He added, “You look old, hard, and cheap.” When Kendra Wilkinson moved in later and appeared before Hef wearing red lipstick, Madison braced herself for his wrath, only for him to tell Wilkinson, “Why, that red lipstick looks absolutely wonderful on you, Kendra!”

8. Hef demanded his girlfriends be in by the 9 o'clock curfew each night. When Madison witnessed two of the girlfriends come in past 9 one night, Madison writes, Hef “kicked his feet, mustered up some questionable crocodile tears (was he really crying?I thought), and told them if they wanted to 'stay out late’ they could move out.”

9. There was no confusion as to what sort of fashion and beauty aesthetic Hef expected his girlfriends to adopt. “He made it abundantly clear that he preferred us in very over-the-top, sort of trashy outfits (think BeDazzled rhinestone bustiers and skirts so short there was barely a point in wearing them),” Madison writes. Compliments bestowed upon one girlfriend’s appearance were noted and that very look would be adopted by the rest of the girlfriends on the next night out. For attiring themselves, Hef provided each girlfriend with $1,000 weekly “clothing allowance” and unlimited beauty services courtesy of his account at the José Eber salon in Beverly Hills. Plastic surgery also came courtesy of Hef, Madison says, the most commonly requested procedures including boob jobs, nose jobs, and liposuction. (Madison writes about working up the courage to ask Hef for a nose job.)

10. The culture of isolation Hef created at the mansion even extended to his infamous parties where, Madison writes, “the protocol was that we stay at Hef’s table all night.” Dancing was permitted so long as it was right in front of Hef’s table. Girlfriends were allowed to leave only to go to the bathroom. When Hef left the party, usually at 1 a.m., the girlfriends “had to go upstairs with him.” But some of the girlfriends snuck back down to the parties to meet men and celebrities. Only, they’d have to avoid the mansion’s in-house video crew, who would place a highlight reel from the party at Hef’s door the next morning.

11. Hef would mansplain movies. “During movie nights” — which were scheduled to occur three nights out of the week at the mansion — “he would lean over to me to explain the plotlines and time periods in the most condescending of ways,” Madison writes. Describing all her dialogue with Hef as “superficial,” she said he refused to discuss books, politics, or current events with her.

12. Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Wilkinson didn’t get paid for the first order of Girls Next Door, Madison claims in her book. She adds that Hef argued that the money the three got for posing for Playboy, which was filmed for the series, constituted their payment for the show as well. Whereas Madison reports amateur models got $25,000 for a pictorial, reality stars $40,000 to $50,000, and former girlfriends of Hef’s, the Bentley twins, got $100,000, the three Girls Next Door ladies only got $25,000 for their shoot.

13. He once told Wilkinson she looked like she was “putting on some weight,” and warned her to watch her diet.

14. He keeps a picture of every girl who’s ever been to the mansion. A mansion staffer would take photographs of women visiting for the first time, Madison says. The photos (mostly Polaroids) were saved for Hef to review the next day. “He would label them A, B, or C (based primarily on their looks but also on how scantily clad they were) before having them catalogued in his social secretary’s office,” Madison explains. Madison would eventually discover she received an “A.”

anonymous asked:

Hello dear. I thank you for sharing your advice with us. And i found out that i need it now if you can ofc. I want to graduate next year so bad but my grades aren't good enough, but i have the determination to work hard even though it's impossible to graduate with a good mark. But the problem is that i don't know how to work hard, like how can I guarantee success? Next year will be a tough one for me , I have alot of subject and the thesis, and i don't want to study a 5th year bcuz I'm done:/

Hi! I’ll start by noting that I could give the best advice ever (where is my life philosophy sticker??) but it ultimately comes down to you. You need to put systems in place that are effective and help you get the grades that you really need. I will give you a couple of overarching tips but you have to work for it. Here goes!

Fix your mindset:

This is so important and shouldn’t be underestimated. Use the fact that you might have to stay back another year as motivation to push yourself. You need to learn to discipline yourself to keep going and not become reliant on motivation alone. Believe in yourself! you can do it! This post is all about developing discipline. Here are some other things that might help:

  • mark your progress - the best way to monitor how you are going is to track your daily productivity. Jerry Seinfield emphasises that using a calendar (or habit tracker) is the best way to consistently perform tasks day after day. He says each day he has written something he will put a large red cross through the day on a wall calendar. “After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain.“ This way you can see how well you’re doing and motivate yourself to keep it up!! Here is a habit tracker I made!
  • stay persistent - keep at it! It might be tough and some days you might miss doing a task - but making sure you can recover from those days is what matters! No one has discipline 100 per cent of the time. If you’ve got a friend from school (or even one from Tumblr), share your daily tasks and upcoming to-dos with them. Make them hold you accountable for getting things done. They can message regularly to ask how you’re going, provide some encouragement and praise your work! You should remember that your a new found discipline isn’t going to appear overnight.
  • be positive - you aren’t going to see a radical change from one day to the next. It is a long, arduous process that needs developing. Don’t be discouraged by the initial difficulties. If you miss a day, don’t dwell but think that you’ll try to not let it happen again. Focusing on any negativities isn’t going to help you, so accept them and move on.
  • externalise your goals - your goal is to be more productive and efficient when it comes to your class. By writing this down, you’re more likely to take the steps to complete it. On the same piece of paper, you can write down small things that you could do to achieve it. Keep it somewhere visible so you can remind yourself of what you want to achieve.

Make the effort:

With good grades comes blood, sweat and tears (maybe not so literally but you can’t expect an improvement without trying). here are some tips:

  • write down dates as soon as you get them - this applies for romantic dates and due dates ;-) Once you know when something is coming up, put it in. I’d recommend putting in reminders each week so you don’t forget. Make sure you keep these in view!!!
  • plan as much as you can - for big assessments this is key! I will also spend a few hours drafting up what I want to include in it. Sometimes I’ll spend a day (not a full day, just part of it) planning it out, finding my references, my main points, evidence and then breaking up the structure and word count. Then I’ll go back either the day later or a few days and start working. It makes tackling assessments much less stressful if you’ve prepped before hand. You can watch me doing my assessment (planning/drafting/writing) on my YouTube.
  • create a routine - try to develop a time to do things like work after class, studying, self-care and your hobbies! If you can devise a flexible routine, you’ll improve your disciple and help feel more organised in general.
  • review your notes regularly - like you’ve said, you should be reviewing notes every now and then. Follow the curve of forgetting and reread them after class, 24 hours later, a week and month later. If you’re making a habit of this, you’ll retain more information and need less time to study prior to finals. 
  • contribute in the classroom - I think a lot of education is done in the classroom and participating (even if you aren’t actively contributing but taking notes on what is said) is very important. I have one class this term which I really connect with so, unusually, I contributed a lot to the class. I can recall that particular class much more than the others I took more of a backseat. If you talk in the first few minutes of dicussion, it makes it much easier to continue to raise your hand.

Motivation

As I mentioned motivation shouldn’t be relied on as your only source of getting through work because eventually you’ll have a day where you’re so unmotivated and fall back into a cycle of unproductiveness. If something keeps you motivated, remember that and use it time after time. here are some ways to stay motivated:

  • use productivity apps - these are so helpful, I cannot stress that enough! I love the app ‘Forest’ for keeping me off my phone and focused. Here are some apps to try.
  • try to study in a productive place - avoid using your bed for proper study. Reviewing notes prior to sleeping is fine but don’t make actual studying a habit. Keep your bed a place of rest and relaxation. You could also use my motivational Monday art printables for some help!
  • keep your notes and laptop organised - date and name everything properly!!! Avoid getting lazy because it just spirals and gets even messier hah! You don’t have to be do it all the time but try on a Friday or Sunday to fix up the week and plan for the next one. I find that starting a week with a fresh mind helps me stay motivated.
  • learn to remove distractions and stop procrastinating - have a read of this post on limiting distractions and this post on dealing with procrastinating. If you can see yourself being productive during a study session and not just wasting 20 minutes on YouTube, you’ll be more motivated to study regular since you’ll see it as purposeful.
  • set up a reward system - positive reinforcement and having gratification for your work is going to really help keep you motivated. Before you study, write down what you’re going to do after - e.g. watch those YouTube clips you’ve been wanting too. Instead of giving in, try working towards them. 
  • use printables - I started using them back in high school and have since started making them for other students on Tumblr and Etsy. I get a lot of awesome feedback from people saying they’re motivating or really helpful. My Etsy shop has loads of printables (from studying packs, to reading logs, or just time planners).

Know yourself and what suits you

It is one thing reading my tips but we are different people! What works for me, might not work as well for you. Testing out different things should help you figure out what suits you best. Some things to do include:

  • try finding out what kind of learner you are. If you can tailor your studying to the way you learn, you’re going to get much better results from your study. Try doing this quiz. This is a really awesome infographic that can provide you with some tips once you know the way you learn. That way your studying is going to be much more effective since it is actually going into your brain!
  • find out when you’re most productive - some people are morning people and others are night owls! You can then learn to tailor your studying and revision to those particular times. For instance, you can do test revision when you’re most productive and prior to class readings when you’re less awake.
  • find out where you’re most productive - this goes into promoting an encouraging workspace but maybe you hate studying alone in your bedroom. You can try studying in the library with other students, your local coffee shop, at your kitchen table or even outside!
  • use a colour code - I find this such a useful tool and I’d recommend it to everyone. It doesn’t have to be super detailed or complicated but just enough to easily pull out the more important information.
  • create a format/layout for your notes - I use the outline method because I find it the easiest and most effective for me. Here is a brief explanation of mine.

Stay organised

The easiest way to manage your studies/education is to be organised at least 80% of the time (or attempt to). My top tips for organisation are:

  • plan and prepare - make sure your planning system is optimal! Your organisation can take whatever form you like, be it a digital calendar, a bullet journal or just weekly agenda. If one isn’t working for you, try out something else. We don’t all work from the same planning methods so it is also good to test out new ones. Every time you get a due date, add it in! Add in additional reminds too. I put them on my phone as well, just in case I completely forget. Being prepared and on top is going to help you feel more in control. You might find some of my printables on Etsy helpful since they’re more student based!
  • make a habit of scheduling your time - use some form of a schedule to map out your monthly, weekly and daily tasks. Make the effort to set times for certain tasks - be it 15 minutes, half an hour or an hour. These tasks could be clean out your school bag every Sunday, check weekend homework on Fridays, do allocated readings the night before your tutorials, etc. With time you won’t need to be reminded of these tasks since you’ll just know to do it. This is building discipline and habits!!
  • keep your notes and laptop organised - date and name everything properly!!! Avoid getting lazy because it just spirals and gets even messier hah! You don’t have to do it all the time but try on a Friday or Sunday to fix up the week and plan for the next one.
  • make study notes/revision notes throughout the semester - as you finish a topic, make some type of study notes. This could be flashcards, proper notes, a mind map or summary powerpoint! With textbooks, summarise each chapter on a flashcard or post-it note once you’ve read it. Then when you come back to review at the end, you’ve got everything in your own terms anyway.
  • learn to prioritise your tasks - this is crucial for students who are balancing numerous things like work, extracurriculars, jobs and a social life. Put the immediate and crucial tasks first. That Facebook notification or group text can wait until you’re done. This printable might really help if you struggle to determine what is and isn’t important. 
  • have a review day - set yourself up for one day to review the previous week and plan for the next. Reflect on what went well, what didn’t, and what you need to change to improve. Critically evaluating and planning ahead should help you keep up with what is coming and stay organised!

I hope this helps! Best of luck with everything :-) xx

Squares [1.]

Originally posted by meanyoongis

Does it help you stay up late?
Does it help you concentrate?
Does it tune you in when you chew your chin?
Am I ruining your fun?
- Arctic Monkeys “Black Treacle”

[1.] [2.]

Genre: Angst (Smut later)

Summary: You’ve ran away and tried to start over, but the demons you run from keep you up at night. The only thing to comfort you is cancer sticks and mind tricks. But this guy isn’t a mind trick, he’s a wake up call.

Warnings:
Smoking

Word Count: 1,310

Written by: Smutty Jaefairy

A/N: Ongoing series, second chapter later this week. (Edit: Second chapter is up now, link is above. Please treat my new story well, and give it lots of love. )

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

RFA + V & Saeran finding out MC is a YouTuber/vlogger with millions of subscribers? ❤️

Yoosung

  • He comes over unannounced one day, planning to surprise you with some flowers but finds you recording a new video for your YouTube channel.
  • Curious, he stands in the doorway to your room, out of sight of both you and the camera, just watching.
  • He has to stifle a few giggles because you’re funny, but manages not to catch your attention.
  • When you finish he bounces over to you, a huge grin on his face as he gives you the flowers.
  • “That was so cute! I hope it gets lots of views.”
  • He pokes his head over your shoulder and nearly stumbles back in shock at the fact that you have millions of people subscribing to your channel.
  • He’s making a funny face, so you ask him if everything’s okay.
  • The truth is that he doesn’t want to have to share you with anyone, not even this way.
  • But it’s not his choice and he knows that, so he rebounds back to his cheerful self and wraps you in a hug, pressing a kiss to your lips.
  • “Why wouldn’t it be? Ahh, you’re so popular and awesome and just perfect! I can’t blame anyone for wanting to watch you.”
  • A dark look flashes in his eyes a moment as he says “but you’re mine.”

Zen

  • It’s a big day for him, as he’s getting interviewed on a high-profile show about his upcoming musical.
  • You sent him off with a kiss and a good luck, answering that you planned to do some singing of your own while he was gone.
  • He loves that you’re both into music and wishes you were also an actor; then you could work together.
  • The interview is going well, his charisma and flirtatious personality keeping the hosts entertained.
  • Until they ask that question and he falters in shock.
  • “What’s it like dating popular Vlogger MC? Do you get in on helping write their wildly popular mash-ups?”
  • He blinks in surprise, giving just the slightest shake of his head before turning it to see the 30-second clip of you mixing two popular songs together in a way that makes it seem like they were meant to be one.
  • The host quickly catches on that he didn’t know, and asks if he’s upset.
  • “Upset?”
  • He’s leaning forward, a large smile blooming on his face as he stares at the frozen frame of you.
  • “No. I’m actually incredibly proud.”
  • He does ask to watch you work when he gets home, though, and he’s incredibly interested in your process.

Jaehee

  • She knows that you are incredibly talented with makeup, but she had no idea you performed tutorials on both normal application as well as costume designs.
  • When you move in with her above the cafe, it’s one of the first things you tell her.
  • You actually ask to use her as a model occasionally, and while she’s a little flustered at the thought at first, she ends up agreeing just to see what kind of magic you work on her.
  • She doesn’t anticipate the fact that you’re popular enough that popular brands send you samples and ask you to do reviews on them.
  • She ends up becoming a fairly regular addition to your show (and you receive a lot of compliments on your beautiful girlfriend), even if you demonstrate it on yourself.
  • She suggests that you do some tutorials in person, having the cafe open at certain times during the week for that in specific (with a cover charge for makeup and your time).
  • It ends up being wildly popular as well, and she’s so proud of your talent and brags about you to anyone who will listen.

Jumin

  • He finds out fairly quickly that you’re well-known on the internet through a few small inquiries he has Jaehee perform.
  • After that he never looks into it further, so when you ask to borrow his laptop while at his house to record your weekly show, he watches you out of curiosity.
  • You are actually a recent graduate (you joined the RFA while you were searching for a job) and had started this web series as a means for helping you study.
  • You take whatever you’re learning about and break it down simply, creatively finding ways to help remember things and making it interesting.
  • He’s very impressed, and he thinks that you’d be a wonderful teacher.
  • Now that you’re out of school, you just continue with whatever you’re interested in learning more about.
  • He actually starts watching them in his free time if he can’t be there when you record, because he finds them immensely educating.
  • Mysteriously, you get a sponsorship offer from some of C&R’s partners if you’re willing to cover topics of their choosing.
  • Hmm, how did that happen?

707

  • Well, he knows, of course.
  • He actually recognizes you immediately because he loves watching your videos.
  • You’re famous for the pranks you play on people, strangers and people you know alike.
  • They’re not too elaborate and they’re never mean, but they’re always funny and often there’s a rash of copycat pranksters after you release a new video.
  • He has a few ideas of his own to bounce off of you and you’re more than willing to listen.
  • You’ve found how he teases the other members of the RFA hilarious, although most of them wouldn’t be appropriate or right to implement outside of a close circle of friends.
  • You have to tone down a lot of his suggestions but ultimately you can make them work and even offer to let him join you on camera.
  • That’s exciting! He joins you after he tosses on one of his many costumes, and you can tell that he’s enjoying it a lot.
  • He’s beyond thrilled when you get a large amount of people inquiring about who the ‘attractive woman’ with you is.
  • Mission success.

V

  • He knows you take fitness very seriously and that you make your own routines that focus on whatever area you think needs more work.
  • He didn’t know that you also shared those routines with subscribers on your YouTube channel.
  • You mention it offhandedly one day in conversation and he almost misses it, before committing it to memory to ask about later.
  • When he brings it up, you beam and start gushing about how much you enjoy it. People send you pictures of their improvement and talk about how much they’re thankful that you offer such a wide variety of programs suited to different levels.
  • He’s never seen you so animated before, not even when talking about other things he knows you love.
  • He’s super supportive and very proud, even recommending your channel to anyone who mentions they need to start exercising.
  • He finds your passion very inspiring and ends up taking pictures of you when you’re “working” just because of how bright you shine.
  • He loves watching you do something you enjoy.

Saeran

  • He’s a little…wary at first.
  • You’re basically Korea’s version of Thomas Sanders, so you post very short videos that are funny and sometimes carry a hidden meaning.
  • He’s seen enough to know that the occasional prank is included and he has absolutely no interest in being a victim of your jokes.
  • You ask him once if he’d be willing to join you just as a normal participant, but his very vehement “no!” lets you know just how he feels about your pastime.
  • You’re very careful about how you approach your shorts after, making sure that he’s no where near where you’re going to shoot them.
  • It upsets you that he’s so unsupportive of you, and he catches you crying about it one night.
  • “What’s wrong?”
  • “N-Nothing.”
  • It takes a bit, but finally he convinces you to tell him, and you spill, sobbing about how he hates what you do.
  • He’s quiet, his face blank as he considers you for a moment before letting out a sigh, pushing back the hair that fell in your face.
  • “I don’t hate that you make those videos. They are fun to watch, I just… I don’t want to be involved in them.”
  • “That… that’s it?”
  • He nods, hugging you close to him.
  • “Please don’t stop… I like watching them when I miss you.”
Decisions, Decisions!

While many of you have elected to focus on the potentially negative ramifications of our upcoming spirit week, I, for one, cannot wait! This week presents the unique opportunity for me to trial at least one of the new solos I recently added to my wheelhouse and to devote an entire day to embodying a classic figure from one of my favourite Broadway shows. I just knows that by the end of this week; you will all have a brand new image of one Rachel Barbra Berry in your minds and that will be one of a shining star. On a side note, my recent attempts to purely introduce myself by gold star emoticon while communicating electronically has proven extremely disappointing. I urge you all to memorise my specific brand now before it is too late and I am a literal gold star with little to no recollection of my unappreciative and disappointing fellow high school students. Regardless, as someone who has taken the liberty of writing a bi-weekly letter to the school board listing all the reasons singing should be a mandatory lesson in schools to aid my tone deaf and pitch-y compatriots on their way to backing up the real stars in later life, this week is just another sign that they are finally listening to me! Creativity is no longer dead and I will be leading the charge as the flames of imagination are reignited! 

I am sure my friends, fans, and jealous foes alike are all desperately anticipating the grand reveal of my official solo for the rather crudely named Karaoke Day. As someone who has been banned from various karaoke-based establishments over the course of her life due to such spurious claims as ‘offering unwanted critique’ and ‘treating the night as her own personal cabaret’, I would have preferred a title with more gravity that indicated the serious and potentially life changing business of performing in front of a huge audience. I have to admit that I find myself rather conflicted over the exact song to devote my considerable talents to in such a momentous occasion. I will naturally be singing a solo because to sacrifice my very first chance at an actual audience, and not one filled with Mr. Ryerson’s weird friends, on a shared spotlight would just be insane. Even now my youtube page (barbranoticeme) and I are building a portfolio of excellence that will one day lead to a life of glitz and glamour in New York City’s Midtown. 

Having said that, I am currently debating, and presenting via power point to an esteemed board of my dads and my vocal coaches, the various options that are available to me. Although I could veer towards my natural vocal home, and future, and choose one of the various show stopping musical numbers I have mastered, I am very well aware of the tragic ignorance and apathy towards the show tune in this town. Fame is everything and, as a performer, I know that I should wield my talent in a way that will make audiences adore me and Times Square this, unfortunately, is not. My mind then turns towards the ‘crunk’ and pop music movements of today, and the potential for a Katy Perry or Alanis Morisette stroke of performance genius. Both performers may not be equipped with the depth or dance routine accompaniment of Buenos Aires but they would ensure that everyone was so awed by the sheer star quality of my performance that any unfair and illegal slushie incidents would simply be impossible. For those seeking weekend inspiration, I will obviously be devoting my own to honing a few of the front runners and ensuring that my off-stage Lima debut is one of sheer perfection

As I would hate to ruin the surprise of, and eager anticipation for, the song I do finally choose, I won’t be revealing it until my standard introduction before the solo begins. I always find a performance is so much more appreciated when the audience knows the basic facts, and my own thoughts, of the song in question. With that in mind, I have two specific demands that must be followed by the entire student body in the run up to such a special day. My creativity is an uncontrollable and spontaneous miracle and so I simply cannot be slushied during such a fragile time for me as a performer, and as my own director, choreographer and assistant. To break my creative flow could result in irreparable psychological damage and potentially career murder. I will sue anyone who gets in the way of me and my chance to prove that I am the most talented person in this school and I am too special to be subjected to the mindless and envious hate of my peers. Secondly, wherever I choose to to deliver my performance will be strictly out of bounds for my fellow karaoke day participants. As the most experienced performer, you should all be following my lead but that does not involve blatant imitation and my stage will be mine alone. Break a leg, fellow showmen and showwomen, and I look forward to seeing, hearing and critiquing your respective performances!

Although it is high time the glist (a barbaric concept that is still officially unrecognised by yours truly) is finally acknowledging that true public adoration should come from actual talent, not your ability to have meaningless and disgusting one night stands, I was horrified to see how little notice we have been given for our Costume Day. (Once again, I still argue a dash of pizazz would have made the entire concept far more appealing.) I have been preparing for Halloween since the beginning of July through an homage to Barbra’s revolutionary Oscars outfit worn during her 1969 win, that required hand stitching thousands of tiny diamanté studs onto it to ensure that I was adequately dazzling from any angle. Both my wardrobe, and my natural flair for impersonating Barbra inspired by our very real and deep psychic bond, would suggest choosing another one of her numerous famous looks would be my best option, and yet I simply cannot risk my outfits being repetitive, or worse, boring. I will, therefore, be channelling my inner Sally Bowles for the entire school day. For anyone living under a rock for the past two years, she is the lead female role in the 1966 show, originated by Judy’s daughter; the fabulous Liza Minnelli, and currently being re-imagined by an occasionally dubious list of A-list stars. This is, of course, a risqué and theatrically licentious part for the beloved and be-animal sweatered Rachel Berry that you all know, and should love, but I highly doubt anything could beat the thrill of 1930s Berlin to liven up everyone’s school day so that prize is going to be mine. No-one should be disheartened, however, as, while most people will just be appearing as their costume of choice, I will be living and breathing the life of Sally Bowles, and so my win is practically written in the stars. 

To conclude this brief glimpse into the mental workings of your favourite stunning young ingénue, this week is affording you all another invaluable glimpse into my every day life. A life where every second is devoted to exuding pure unadulterated star power and charisma and one that the social hierarchy is finally encouraging you to emulate!

Lots of love and stardust, 
Rachel Barbra Berry ★