but me wait

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 19x04

(A little rushed, not to mention late, because this week really got away from me due to a very persistent flu.)

(and my even more persistent need to write fic.)

Overall Thoughts

Eh. A plot we have seen before, a type of “nice guy” perp we have seen before, a case that had pretty much zero twists (the perp was immediately obvious), a tepid resolution. To me, this was the weakest episode of the season.

On the bright side, though, there

wasn’t a huge amount of victim blaming, and we got some wonderful Amanda scenes, and also some intimate Rolivia scenes (I ship it btw! I’m getting S17 Barisi vibes from them this year. I can already tell that S19 will be the Holy Grail for Rolivia shippers, just like S17 was for Barisi shippers. And I’m loving every minute of it.). Also, the ending did have a sappy PSA vibe, but the anti-bullying message was important, and timely, so I didn’t mind it that much.

Overall, this was a somewhat uneventful episode which I moderately enjoyed but won’t be rewatching.

Sonny and Continuity

Sonny has come so far. He’s been doing this a long time! 3 whole years I mean, a really long time, and he doesn’t ask questions he doesn’t already know the answers to :D Which, by the way, is a lawyer thing, not a cop thing. (and a To Kill a Mockingbird thing, of course). I don’t know if that was a subtle nod to Sonny’s lawyer side, or just a cool way to show that he’s a confident detective now, but I loved it all the same.

Just like I love this Sonny upgrade we’ve been getting. We (and Sonny) were long overdue. Season 16 was the “he’s got potential but he still needs training wheels” period, Season 17 was the “he’s learned a lot but he’s still rough around the ages” period, Season 18 never happened and Season 19 is the “Sonny Carisi, experienced SVU detective and licensed attorney, at your service” period.

The truth is, Sonny has been doing this a long time. Three years at SVU is no joke. Anyone would learn a lot, let alone someone like Sonny, who’s always been so eager to educate himself. I love how we’re allowed to see that confidence, this year. That’s Sonny’s main trait, now. He swaggers into Liv’s office and explains complex jurisprudence, he sasses Barba, he interrogates witnesses or perps with the gravitas of a cop who knows what he’s doing.

This development has been earned. Sonny has gone through a lot of shifts as a character, but finally we’re seeing it all pay off. Finally, the subtle shifts in his attitude are consistent with his character arc; he’s gained experience as a cop, he’s got his law license, he’s older, and he’s seen things, and he’s finally moving forward as a character. He’s where he’s supposed to be.

And the best thing is that his core personality hasn’t been sacrificed. He’s still funny, just not in a (totally) goofy way. He’s still empathetic, just not in a naïve way. He’s still whip smart, just not in a way that’s meant to surprise us. We know who he is now, and he knows who he is, and it’s great to watch.  

I suspect it will be just as great to watch him mess up, too. Somehow. Or get compromised. Over-invested. We’re all human. I’d like to see that. Maybe we will.

The Barisi Corner

Stray Thoughts

When Fin is not in an episode, it becomes almost hilariously obvious how short-staffed the 16th is. There are literally 2 detectives, Amanda and Sonny and Fin who is a Sergeant except not really so I don’t even know if he counts. I like that they’re bringing in another ADA (provided it allows for more Barba drama) but why not also bring in a new detective? The cast is small enough for 2 new additions. I’m not talking Season 9 levels of “we can’t fit our 18 regulars in the same frame,” I’m talking about one more cop. The show needs it.

My guy! The defense attorney! He’s my favorite. I love that the show keeps having him back.

“On that hilariously unrelated note, Noah’s grandmother showed up!” Man, why do I even bother coming up with organic segues when I write fic?

I couldn’t believe my ears when Amanda mentioned an actual case from her past, but it wasn’t that random thing SVU does, where detectives reference “old cases” which were solved offscreen (like in the premiere). We had actually seen Amanda’s old case! Pink clouding! I applaud the writers for actually giving a damn about continuity this season. It really makes a difference.

Sonny and Continuity Vol. 2: I loved that we saw, yet again, how sensitive Sonny is when it comes to younger victims. The way Peter conveyed Sonny’s disgust when talking about the incident, even before they knew a rape had occurred, it was so beautifully consistent with Sonny’s reactions in previous seasons. Again, continuity really makes a difference.

Kotobukiya Rubber Charm || Scarecrow

Guess who finally came in the mail after ordering him a month ago? This adorable little straw boy! He was definitely worth the wait, even though he’s a bit tinier than I expected. Still, I’m happy to add him to my collection!

For those curious, I ordered him from this ebay user. As far as I can tell, they’re the cheapest option and you don’t have to mess with blind bags.

                                based on this ask @malaktheraven got

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

He isn’t sure he hears you right at first. In fact, he’s certain he’s heard you wrong. If he’d heard you right…

He feels his hands begin to shake, violet eyes staring at you with such intensity that you couldn’t look away if you wanted to. He’s searching for any sign, any way that this could hurt you. Looking for the way your face contorts when the headaches come back, looking for even the slightest bit of hesitation. A bright, warm feeling explodes through his chest as he finds none.

“I love you, too,” Asra says, hands still shaking as he runs them through your hair, down your back, over your shoulders, then back to your hair. He can’t seem to stop touching you as he speaks, desperate to be certain this isn’t all a dream.

“You have no idea how much, I…” He pauses, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, hands steadying themselves on your shoulders. “I would do anything for you, everything- I’d - Seeing you hurt, seeing you in pain, I can’t tell you how much that hurt me, how badly I want to keep you safe, I promise I’ll always keep you safe, for as long as you’ll have me-”

Words seem to fail him as he kisses you again. This time, he holds nothing back.

i am in a petty mood lmao if u don’t say please i will NOT be answering ur wcif!!!!! manners r everything bbys


jsyk estoy muy ebrio y drogado y triste y muy suicida pero hablando con una amiga recién me dí cuenta de que no me voy a matar porque amo demasiado a un puñado de gente que quedaría devastada si lo hiciera entonces la culpa me devora y no lo hago pero en verdad estoy lleno de ganas y no sé qué hacer.