but maybe i am overthinking this

I imagine relationships, even very sincere ones, are super hard when you have secret agendas.

Today I learned wine sometimes helps with paintings??  Also, in the absence of a moody title, here are my two standard playlists of Solavellan music.

An Aquarius was throwing and making a mess in his own room after he found out that she, his girlfriend, had finally moved on without him. I looked as he cuss and threw away some of the mementos of her, and finally stopped when he found an old photo of them together at a photobooth. He sat down and started to burst into tears. “If only.. If only I told her everything, and hadn’t kept it all in, maybe she would’ve stayed..” he said through the tears.

An Aries looked through his twitter and found a picture of his ex with someone else, he let out a soft chuckle. “Oh shit..” he laughed, and slowly he stood up and continued to laugh. “Look at this. Look at her.. Oh, she’s.. she’s fucking hilarious.” He slowly started to laugh so hard, and I watched as he began to shake and slowly made his way to the balconey and started to scream about her, just screamed her name and called her names and how he hated her but finally he broke down and cried.

A Cancer started shaking and tries to grab his phone out of our reach. “Please, let me just call her..” we shook all our heads and told him to just stay put. He begged that it’ll be just for tonight. We told him that he has had enough, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to call her so bad, but the truth is.. she’s about to have her wedding in a week, and he was going to tell her he still loves her after all these years.

A Capricorn and I were out in mid-town late at night, and he had too much to drink. He sways as he walks, and suddenly one of Bryson Tiller’s songs played through one of the bars nearby and he let go of me and sang through the whole verse. He finally stopped and looked at me and said, “This shit, that’s me. I wished God would saved her for me. That’s it, and fuck.. I’m not really at my best at the moment, but I loved her.”

A Gemini breath out smoke after inhaling his cigarette and he looked at the city lights from our view. “I miss her..” was all he said, taking another inhale from his cigarette. He looked at me and gave me a small smile and back at view.

A Leo drank with me, and place an arm around my shoulders and said, “I shouldn’t drink too much. These crazy thoughts are hunting me again, and I just want to crush the world. Ha, oh she’s in my head. My ex, you know? She’s in here again and.. fuck! I hate her. I miss her. You know we’re talking again, right but just as "friends”? I want more than that..“ He gave me a small playful slap on the cheek and walked to get another drink. It’s going to be a long night.

A Libra rushed to her house, knocking at her apartment door. But it was locked. Ran back downstairs and started calling her name out her window, trying to get her attention. She finally opened the window and told him to leave. I watched from the car, as he asked for her forgiveness. She shook her head and said it was too late for him.

A Pisces admitted to me how he still thinks about his ex, and how he still calls out her name and how his mind would play memories of her every single day. He can’t stand the nights because his mind would play her, her voice, her smile, the way she would call him everyday and she was his rock. As he sits here with me, tears roll down his cheek and he said, "Now here I am still holding on to her, just waiting for a sign that maybe she’d come back, and maybe we can try again.. but also maybe she’s with someone else, who.. who treats her well than I could’ve had and.. I want her to be happy, I do, but I wish.. right now.. she could be happy with me, and I am so selfish for it..”

A Sagittarius once said that he used to think too much about the relationship and how every time he was with her he would start to overthink every scenario of how she would leave him, and he would tell her and she would shook her head and promised him she would never leave… and now that she’s gone he still can’t stop thinking about her..

A Scorpio said to me, “I’m just not too sure if I could ever ask her to come back. I really messed up, you know? I could try, but would she ever give me another chance to prove to her my real worth? Can she really do that..?” I was a little loss for words. Knowing Scoprio and how he is, he seemed to be really serious about her. I just didn’t know what to say.

A Taurus and I passed by a coffee shop and he paused and peered through and saw his ex with someone else, and she’s laughing and holding this man’s hand. He gritted his teeth and his fist clenched. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him to let it go. It’s been years since they’ve together and been a two years after their break up. He slowly looked down in defeat and sighed. He walked off ahead of me..

A Virgo and I were driving out late one night around the city, and all the songs he played were just old, sad R&B music and I would watch him from time to time as he mumbled some of the lyrics to himself and would let out a small smirk when the singer goes and says, “I love you and miss you..” and he shook his head. We pulled up to a parking lot, and he got out and looked at me and said, “I do miss her, but do you think she misses me..?”

—  Regrets..

Requested by @captaindanindlovu​. I hope you like it!

Summary: Jared Padalecki x reader. Gen gives Jared and the reader permission to do what they’d like.

Warning: Smut, dry humping

Word Count: 2500

A/N: I’m still new to this RPF thing, so I hope y’all enjoy this! XOXO

Sex scenes aren’t the most comfortable scenes to shoot.

Sex scenes are even more uncomfortable when you’re shooting in front of the guy’s wife, who just happens to be visiting and has been given permission to be on the closed set.

Sex scenes are even more uncomfortable when you’re trying to get over the attraction you’ve developed to said married guy.

And sex scenes are incredibly uncomfortable when the married guy who you’re simulating sex with gets an erection. In front of the visiting wife.

Keep reading

More Foreshadowing?

Everyone who watches Voltron knows the writers enjoy throwing in hints whenever they can, and I may have just found another.

Remember this scene?

Of course you do.

It’s the iconic “Hey man” one.

And yeah, it’s a great scene, and the Klance is just prime, but something Lance said has me thinking there was more to it than simply a team bonding moment (and hella cool outro)

Keep reading

Me, falling in love with every girl that gives me attention for more than 2 minutes

jamersjam  asked:

Hey can we see some of your practice art?

Well I don’t really know what you mean by practice art buuuuut this is a good enough excuse for me to show you some concept art for the original webcomic I’m working on in the background, so here ya go!

All of this is subject to change in the final product. In fact that map isn’t even up to date anymore as I’ve edited the spelling of Myurgath to Mjurgath to better reflect the Old Norse feel that the Mjurgathi language has. In fact I’m considdering changing the adjective word to Mjurgathic so that it has more in common with words like Celtic and Nordic. But I might leave it as is because fictional cultures don’t always need to reflect real life cultures and maybe I’m just overthinking it I mean it’s just a made up word but that’s the kind of stuff I end up thinking about when developing a living breathing world ya know??? World building!! 8D;;;

Anyway hopefully some of you might find this interesting cause this is what I plan on pouring myself into after AFAC ends.

I’m in charge of the dialogue for this one! I’m looking forward to it! I’m going to be working on developing the languages and cultures as well! I am especialy proud of my work in designing the aura birds (example is resting atop the dwarfish fellow’s head), so fat and fancy~

How can I
follow my heart
when my feet
buckled every time
I feel it breaking,
how can I follow
my mind
when I am always lost
in overthinking.
And maybe
it was just right
to go wherever
my soul is leading me.
—  ma.c.a // Now, They Say Follow Your Soul
Serious question

Should I make another blog specifically for Ninjago? Because judging by people’s asks I get. I don’t think some peeps r happy here with what I do.

I was talking to my dad a few days ago about elder scrolls and he turned to me and asked why do you like it so much? I thought about it and this is what I came up with.

Most games are go, kill things, find treasure, save the princess. That’s okay sometimes, hell even many parts in the tes games have that. Arena is that. It after a while it gets boring and repetitive. I like story behind those games, story that makes you think. The That’s why I love the series, there’s aspects that really make you question things, and the way it diverges from most classic western games.

Take for example Morrowind, and the plot of figuring out who actually killed Nerevar, who actually did the right thing. And slowly you start to realize everyone did some fucked up things, including Nerevar and you realize maybe not everyone as perfect as history makes them. What about Oblivion? As the game progresses you start to see you’re not the protagonist of this story, Martin is. You are just the support in someone else’s story. And maybe you are in real life too, while maintaining your own story. Skyrim? The whole speech with Paarthurnax is pretty deep, but if you look at the overarching theme which I see everyone miss, Skyrim is about diverging from what your told to do, straying from you fate, and how in the end it’s futile. Alduin doesn’t want to destroy the world anymore, he wants to rule it, and dies at your hands because of this. Miraak wants to be free from his master and his fate in apocrypha, but eventually ends up slain at Mora’s hands (tentacles?) And you, the last dragonborn, you may chose to fight your fate, stray from your heroic path, but in the end your trapped like a bird. And as your playing you realize Am I just a puppet of fate? Or can I escape? Is that necessary a good thing? Even daggerfall, you have to go around and find who gets the totem, but you realize they all have selfish means, even your beloved emperor, what’s stopping him from goomba stomping everything like Tiber Septim?

The point I’m trying to make is if you look hard enough The elder scrolls is a very deep series, that really makes you question things you didn’t think about. Maybe I’m overthinking this, maybe most people just see it as go to this dungeon, complete this quest, but for me at least there’s so much more under the tip of the iceberg. And that’s why I love this series.

@mirandafandomette Yup! In this booklet that comes with an Armin figure, it says that “Jean dislikes that Armin is always together with Eren.” As we’ve already talked about on chat (but I haven’t talked about it on my blog before, so I’m gonna use this comment as a jumping off point, thank you lol), this booklet’s canon status vis-à-vis the manga is questionable, but I think it’s a defensible interpretation to say that Jean is at least slightly jealous of Armin and Eren’s relationship in the manga. However, I think Jean primarily dislikes their closeness because he thinks Armin underestimates his own skills as compared to Eren’s. And Jean is right, in a way, as we know from the Trost arc–Armin is surprised at the faith that Eren and Mikasa have in his abilities, worried that he’s primarily been a burden to them. The way I read it in the manga, it seems that Jean wants to be close to Armin himself, but in a way that he feels is more genuine and equal than the manner in which Eren and Armin relate. (I’m not taking a stab at Eren and Armin’s actual friendship here, only attempting to explain Jean’s initial understanding of it!)

The rest of my analysis is under the cut because I’m long-winded and I like pictures ^^’

Keep reading

BTS reaction to their family being harassed by sasaengs

Requested by @love2laughlive2love


Jin would be livid. He usually only fights with the members for fun, but when his family is involved he gets fiercely protective. He would make it his priority to see that you and your child are always safe.

“I won’t let you get hurt again.”

Originally posted by jjilljj


The managers would probably have to stop him from writing a huge rant. He would do as they say but he will definitely mention it on his next mixtape, just to get his out of system. Once he’s calm again he would make sure that you are okay.

“The most important thing is that you are ok. But don’t think I will forget about this.”

Originally posted by btsyub


Namjoon would try and solve the whole thing as diplomatically as possible. He would probably write a long fancafé post explaining what happened, trying to reason with fans. And although he tries to be as neutral as possible he would let everyone know that he won’t tolerate his family getting hurt.

“There is a line and it has been crossed today. I don’t want this to happen again.”

Originally posted by namseok


Hoseok would be worried sick. Once he confirmed you are fine he would probably start overthinking the whole matter.

“I can’t help but feel I am the cause of this. Maybe you would be better off without me.”

“Maybe you could ask me how I feel about this? Because I don’t agree. I want to be with you. And I definitely won’t give them what they want.”

Originally posted by jjilljj


Jimin wouldn’t really understand how something like this could happen. How someone could act like this in front of a child.

“I don’t understand how these people still call themselves fans.”

Originally posted by jikookdetails


Tae would not leave your side for some time. He would leave the public issue to the managers. He would be more worried about you and your child’s wellbeing.

“The tiny one will be fine. They’re young enough. They’ll forget about it in no time.”

“What about you though?”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin


Kookie would be a little overwhelmed. He never thought something like this could happen. He would feel really bad that he couldn’t be there to help his loved ones.

“I never want you or me like this ever again. I will protect our family.”

Originally posted by all--kill


Mess with them - Epilogue

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: This is a re-write of Chandler and Monica’s secret relationship.

Word Count: 1,169

Warnings: Language, Smut, Semi Public, Thigh Riding

A/N: Happy Birthday @bicevans ♥ ily 
Inspired by Friends S7ep16 The One with the Truth about London.(also quotes from that episode) AKA ‘the first time Steve and Reader hooked up’

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Epilogue]

Originally posted by all-about-that-fandoms

The quinjet was oddly silent, a sign that the mission didn’t go very well. Your teammates were fast asleep in the back of the jet. You were knackered, too, but you kept replaying the failed mission over and over in your head.

With a heavy sign, you crossed the jet and slumped down in the seat next to Steve. He threw you a side glance, but his hands were still on the control panel, his attention focused on the dials. You glanced at the sky and its pale pink clouds. Steve saw the forlorn look in your eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“No?” You scoffed. “You gave me an order and I failed. Don’t go easy on me, I’m not a child.”

Keep reading

OKAY SO PART TWO OF “ROSE IS PROBABLY OVERTHINKING THINGS,” am I the only one that now thinks Lucy Hale is gonna be in Riverdale based on Madelaine’s response? “When you’re here,” does that mean on set? I know PLL has finished so Lucy Hale probably has an open schedule; maybe she’s gonna be on Riverdale?


Cognitive functions and smiles

Recently I had sort of a dream regarding smiles and what they express. I am sure someone has done some research or has tried to find a correlation between how people smile and what MBTI type they are, but nevermind I wanted to share my messy thoughts with you. 

I have always found smiles the stronger point of the human body, I don’t really know why but, to me, they can reflect how truly a person is, if you really know how to look into them. It is easy to fake a smile, obviously, but it’s just a matter of interpersonal intelligence to get when someone is being truly itself or not.


I have reached to the conclusion that there’s something similar among people with the same dominant cognitive function and the way they smile. Of course, the auxiliar function plays an important role too (specially if the dominant one is a Perceiving function -I have observed that “Thinkers” tend to smile more awkwardly and/or aggressively than “Feelers”, but it’s kind of a stupid observation, I’m not relying on it for now-).

So, since pictures/gifs will probably be more self-explanatory than my words, I’ll try to illustrate and match my thoughts with them as good as possible. Also, since fictional characters and kpop idols are the people I am most certain of their MBTI type (sad but true) I’m using idols’ gifs for this accurate theory. Just in sake of science. Take this as a DISCLAIMER ok

Fe - Comfort: this one was the one I dreamt of. I suddenly realized Fe smiles are so warming, it looks like they were hugging you and saying “it’s alright” but without the need of touching you at all. As long as they are honest smiles, they give the sensation of understanding and emotional control of the situation. They imply that there’s nothing to worry about. It feels like they’re so pleased with their lives and current situation, even though they may open the mouth a second later to say the opposite (if so). Their smile is the physical representation of paying attention to someone in order to make them feel better. They got this especial expression in the face that makes you feel at ease.

(Both are ESFJ)

Originally posted by frittatansonyeondan

Originally posted by eyesmilesuho

Ne - Sunbeam: major key aspect to spot an ENxP: they ALWAYS smile widely in pictures or videos. It’s their nature. They probably have the brightest, purest and more innocent smiles. They irradiate contagious happiness and make you want to smile as well. Usually their smile suggest they’re very friendly and ready to have fun. They seem to have nothing to hide, they come across as people ready to be wide open to you, although nothing far from reality, (my experience says ENxPs are one of the most introvert and secretive types among the “extraverted” ones). You can see the energy in their eyes, and they’re also very quick changing their facial expressions, so it’s pretty normal for them to just burst into laughs a moment after.


Originally posted by 1v1

Originally posted by achenlove

Se - Charm: I bet you were expecting something like “seduction” or “sex-appeal” I don’t know, but nope. Those are all stereotypes. Actually, Se-dom smiles are usually very soft, but with an obvious glimpse of charm. Their eyes tend to catch the receptor’s whole attention, -maybe ESTPs are more “intimidating” than ESFP while doing it, so I’m not sure-. Also, I’ve seen some kind of mix between the friendly Ne and the gentle Fi smile (we’ll get there later). When it comes to smiling, Se doms are not as shy as IxFP may be, but neither are as open as ENxP (tho at laughing they probably are). They give the impression of knowing they have your attention and want to keep it and to make sure they look appealing -not in a romantic or sexual way- to everybody around them. 

(Both are ESFP)

Originally posted by aceyng

Originally posted by mochibaeks

Te - Amiability: this is a difficult one. ExTJ are not as intimidating as it is said they are, but yet, their smile doesn’t suggest especial emotional connection or understanding. However, since them and their dominant function are branded as “aggressive”or “bossy” when they smile they tear down that stereotype. Te users usually smile with a clever look in the eyes, staring directly at you. They’re saying “I trust you, I like you enough to smile at you like this” -we’re talking always about honest behaviours, of course-. I’ve seen a lot of Te-doms smiling even more widely than ESxPs, and I don’t have a theory for this, I guess they’re not especially interested in coming across as fancy, and since they tend to smile “less”, when they do it it means they are willing to build a relationship with you and even to let you know more about their inner selves -this is: deep down they’re the softest-. 


Fi - Softntess: let’s say it: INFP and ISFP usually have the softest and sweetest smile ever. Whether they are more or less shy doesn’t matter because their facial expression seems always kind of bashful. They always show a discreet smile that possibly turns into a big one; sometimes they even have what is called “eye-smile”: you almost see more happiness in their eyes than in their lips, However, the relevant thing is: seeing them smile at you means knowing you have connected with them at some level. You have their full understanding and probably their esteem as well. I think it’s not so easy for a stranger to make them smile comfortably, so you should feel very appreciated when your IXFP smiles at you. 

(Both ISFP)

Originally posted by littleprinceu

Ni - Relief: gathering gifs for this I’ve realized that Ni dom users tend to smile awkwardly (most INTJ) and shyly (most INFJ) 99% of the time, like, they don’t even get to show they theeh at all. So, seeing them half-laughing is probably more revealing since it is the result of a normally reserved and restrained person who finally has set himself/herself free. What I mean is: INxJs have often their heads in the clouds, they tend to overthink and overanalyse everything so they “don’t plan” to engage with the immediate atmosphere and just smile to come across as friendly or appealing (actually this especially goes for INTJs lmao). They seem to be always on the lookout or lost in their thoughts, so when they finally smile comfortably they’d probably laugh as well, finally connected to their outer world. Therefore, their facial expression is usually composed by an avoiding gaze (oh God why am I doing this) and a wide smile (oh my God I am really enjoying the moment). They seem relieved and maybe amazed about the situation or even about how they’re feeling at the moment. 


Originally posted by min-yoongi-yah

Originally posted by btsreactionsandgifs

Si - Engagement: it’s a weird word to describe it, I know, but It just came up to me. This is how I see ISxJs’ smiles: reserved but fulfilling. High Si users usually have a subtle expression which denotes gentleness -whatever ISTJs stereotypes may be-. Their smiles imply control and tidiness, or at least that’s what they seem to reflect. But I also see some sort of comfort, a different one from Fe users (well, in ISFJs that’s a little more difficult to explain) that’s why I thought about “engagement”. While Si users smile, then tend to make an especial eye-contact, between “I am delighted I’m this happy because of you/this” and “thank you”. This is some kind of commitment: “I’m not smiling just because, I’m smiling because I really feel it, I can’t find another way to express myself”. 

(Both ISTJ)

Originally posted by u-me-xist

Originally posted by jonginssoo

Ti - Containment: okay if Ni users are awkward smiling Ti users are even worse. Forget about what you know about shyness-as-a-personality-trait and focus on IxTPs’ smiles because it’s practically the representation of bashfulness. They often avoid the gaze, and probably if you see one Ti user smiling non awkwardly it’s because they found something funny or interesting, not for politeness or the sake of being nice. However, even in the most comfortable atmosphere among friends or relatives, their smile has always a glimpse of containment. But, still, I find IxTPs’ smiles very warm and sweet, maybe because they’re the result of someone who tries but can’t hold back their emotions anymore. (Just a casual observation: I don’t know why this two guys bend forward while smiling. It’s like they have to express their feelings with the body too but I guess that doesn’t need to suit for most of IxTPs.)

(Both ISTP)

Originally posted by tuanpumpkins

Originally posted by jengkook

Question! I am wondering if anyone can think of any significance to ending the promo with Delphine having her eyes closed? Visually, I can see it looks really good. They seem to be sort of opposites. Light (pink) and darker (red) Eyes open and eyes closed, two people coming from different directions and meeting in the middle. I’ve seen that pointed out and it’s awesome.

But… one with closed eyes and one with open eyes seems very deliberate and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on that? 

Astray -Part 32-

*Have your daily dose of Jungkook everyday kids*

Your name: submit

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5 I Part 6 I Part 7 I Part 8 I Part 9 I Part 10 I Part 11 I Part 12 I Part 13 I Part 14 I Part 15 I Part 16 I Part 17  I Part 18 I Part 19 I Part 20 I Part 21 I Part 22  | Part 23 I Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 I Part 30 | Part 31

He waited on his couch, sitting cross-legged as time slipped past him. You left an odd occurrence since it was an early Sunday morning and you were the time to sleep in.

Of course, he had no say in what you do in the morning but he couldn’t let go of his observant behaviour. He just got back to a place where you could actually look him in the eyes, where there wasn’t another shoulder looming over your shoulder, no banana peeled bastard holding your hand. He snorted at his new nickname for your best friend, knowing you would flick his head for having such a thought but he couldn’t help it. He’s waited far too long for that bastard to get out of his spot, he wasn’t going to waste time this time.

He was going to make you his, no matter what.

His tail popped out of surprise when he hear your front door slam.

Be cool, Jeongguk, she just got home.

His ego wasn’t enough to tame the adrenaline rush he got from knowing you were just footsteps away. Were you lying on the couch with your arm over your eyes and sighing? Did you not bother to kick off your shoes as you entered your living room? Shit. Why can’t I calm down?

He figured the only way to stop his mind from running wild was to talk to you. He looked in front of the mirror that Mira made him install on the closet door, seeing his messy hair and his Iron Man boxers. Not exactly boyfriend material, Jeongguk. He went into his closet, finding clothes that say, “I just woke up but I still look half decent” and readied himself to knock on your door.

With a shaky fist, his hand made contact with your oak door and he waited impatiently. You swing the door open, looking annoyed until you made eye contact.

“Wasn’t expecting me, Bambi?”

“Good morning to you too, Jeongguk.” You let him in, laying down on the sofa and he opted for the chair near it. He eyed your outfit, a white shirt with red stripes, blue jeans and yellow sneakers. Where were you off to?

“What happened to you, Bambi? Usually you’re prancing around.” Prancing around? When the fuck did I become Jin hyung with his lame ass jokes?

“I’m not an actual deer, Jeongguk.”

“You’re just as cute as Bambi.” Jesus fuck, Jeongguk, how the fuck was she interested in you in the first place? God, you can do so much better than this.

“Thanks? I guess…” You sighed, the sound setting off alarms in his head. Maybe he was on edge from losing you once but he’s overthinking everything. It could just be the bakery didn’t have your favourite cake and you’re moping about it. Or you miss home, staying with your mom who supported you for most of your life. He didn’t notice you were staring at him until he turned his head.

“Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.” Yeah, 40 minutes ago.

“Hm, never seen anyone wake up with perfect hair.”

“I’m not just anyone, Y/N.” God, am I always this cocky? Shit what if she calls me out on it- You giggled at him, making him lose his train of thought and he smiled comfortably.

“I see your confidence hasn’t changed.”

“I’m still your Jeongguk…”

“My Jeongguk?”

“You know, the awesome, handsome, manly guy that you’re head over heels for.”

“Never heard of him? Do you know where that man is, perhaps?” He tossed a pillow at you while you laughed at your own little joke, it wasn’t that funny.

“Haha, very funny.”

“Oh come on, Gukkie.”

“Oh, so now you use my nickname.”

“I thought you hated it.”

“I like the way you say it.”

“Is that so,” you got up, moving closer to him and resting in his lap. He stopped breathing as your lips brushed against his ear.

“Guk~kie~” Fuck. Were you always this much of a tease?

“Oh my, is the great Jeon Jeongguk blushing? I need to document this.” You took out your phone, ready to snap a picture. He had to think fast, the one thing that would distract you. He pressed his lips against yours, catching you off guard with your phone in your hands. You dropped it in your lap, placing a hand in his hair and another on his cheek.

He became drunk on the taste of your lips, the sweet taste of vanilla overrode his sense and he couldn’t pull his lips away for more than a few seconds.

He liked the way you tugged on his hair, your hands carefully not to touch his ears and he almost groaned at the sensation. His lips traveled along your jaw, a trail of sweet kisses trailing down your neck until he found your sweet spot.

“J-Jeongguk.” If he heard you say his name like that again, he doesn’t know if he can keep any self control. Instead he stopped, hearing you whimper and he almost gave in. The lingering thought of you still not fully knowing his hybrid status was still pending in his mind of the list of things he wants to tell you but he decided to check off a different one.

“I love you.”

You were in a relatively better mood than earlier, playing with his hair as he watched TV. His ears twitched against your jeans, himself forever cursed of hearing other people and things. If he had his way in life, he would mute the whole world to listen to just your voice for the rest of his life.

“I went to see Jimin this morning.” What the fuck would you go see him? He’s with my sister, something I still reject but that’s beside the goddamn point. He has nothing to do with you anymore.


“Are you angry?”

“Did you do it to get me angry?”

“Not necessarily, seeing as he liked me.”

“And he likes Seulgi now. I think they look great together.”


“Why did you see him? What did you say?”

“I didn’t say much but he had plenty to say.”

“What did that banana peeled bastard-I mean Jimin- say to you?”

“Banana peeled bastard?”

“Would you prefer ‘custard coloured cunt’?” You laughed, making him smile and you rolled your eyes as well.

“I’d prefer if you call him Jimin.”

“He doesn’t deserve that liberty.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re avoiding my question, Bambi.” He looked at you, his mind running every possible things that bastard could have told you. Jimin wouldn’t dare to cheat on his sister, would he? Fuck, even the thought made him want to murder that guy. Considering he flirted with his sister even though he was supposedly with you, he shouldn’t expect more from him but he wouldn’t be able to handle know he would treat his sister that poorly.

He would punch him from cheating on his sister, another for trying to mess with you and a third for just being him. God, the thought of him could make shake with bouts of anger. Fucking-

“Earth to Jeongguk.”


“You zoned out with a scowl on your face. What’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking about why you haven’t told me.”

“It’s because there wasn’t much said but the unsaid.”

“I love you and all but quit being Shakespeare, I don’t need that read between the line bullshit, babe.”

“Seulgi opened the door when I went over; wearing Jimin’s clothes and she couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I didn’t want to stick around much longer, especially with Taehyung in his Superman boxers.”

“Superman boxers, why were you-”

“I-I wasn’t looking there.”

“Then why are you stuttering about it?”

“I’m not.”

“Trust me, babe. I’m bigger than whatever you saw.” He said with a smirk, seeing your eyes widen at his statement.

“Jeongguk!” You squealed as he pressed a kiss to your ear, receiving a hit to his chest and you turn your face away with your hands on your cheeks.

“Bambi, are you blushing?”

“S-Shut up!” He laughed at how cute you were, nuzzling his head in your neck and you tried to push him off you. You were successful, running into your bedroom and he followed you to the door, which you promptly shut, in his face.

“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“God, you really haven’t changed. You’re still a pervert.

“I’m not the one staring at some dude’s junk-”

“I wasn’t staring!”

“But you admit you were looking?”

“You’re the most irritating man I ever met in my life.”

“I’d prefer most attractive man you’ve ever met…”

“You’re not Woo Bin, last time I checked.” Woo Bin? She thinks Woo Bin is more attractive than I am?

“Woo Bin? Baby, have you seen me? I’m on a different scale.” He heard you snort, slightly hurting his ego but he wasn’t going to let you notice it.

“If you mean of arrogance, then I totally agree with you.”

“Babe. I’m sweeter, handsomer and overall better than Has-bin.”

“Prove it.”


“You heard me. Prove. It. Or are you sure your ego is up to the challenge, Gukkie?” He huffed at your mockery. Did you really think that he would let his ego get the better of him? Alright, you think I can’t be sweet, Y/N? I’ll be so sweeter you’ll get into a sugar induced coma? God, I need stop hanging out with Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung, they’re making me soft.

“You’re on, baby.”

He went to his apartment to change, settling on a white shirt, a pair of black jeans and his black sneakers. You skipped into his apartment, sitting on his couch and he joined you.

“We’re matching.”

“We’re going to be that couple?”

“What’s wrong? It’s cute.”

“Whatever floats your goat.”

“Isn’t it boat?”

“I said goat, Bambi.” You put up your hands up in defense and he slipped his fingers into the gaps between your fingers. He would never tell you, since it was quite silly and embarrassing but he loved the way your hands molded together. Your relatively smaller hands fit perfectly with his, reminding how perfect you were for him. He liked the way your palm felt against his, warm and soft and your thumb would rub against the back of his hand whenever you felt nervous or wanted him to calm down. The simple stroke of your thumb could instantly calm him down. He loved the way your hand s would leave the breathtaking scent of lilac and jasmine. The scent of you could take him from edge of madness to stable ground.

All these thoughts were just words that he could never say to you.  He wouldn’t dare to let one slip out of his mouth.

“Goat, it is.” He led you out of his apartment, holding onto your hand tightly as he walked down the street with you.

“You have somewhere in mind?”

“I’ve been meaning to take you but we never really had the chance.”

“Oh, where?”

The market.

“Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“So, you think grocery shopping is a sweet gesture?”

“Bambi, give it a chance, for me?” He kissed your hand, calming you down a bit and you two walked through the market. The first stand he took you to was grilling meat, the smell of beef and pork easily luring him in and the man grill the meat smile fondly at the two of you.   

“Ah, youth! It’s nice to see young people come to places like these. Miss, does your boyfriend here spoil you enough?”

“Oh, he’s-”

“Not enough, sir.”

“Spoil her more often; pretty young girls like her won’t stay for long if you don’t!”

“Yes, sir. Babe, do you want anything?” You looked down shyly, were you taken back by the fact he hadn’t denied that you were boyfriend and girlfriend. You succumbed to shaking your head and he just ordered enough for himself. You barely got past the stand when you took a piece of his meat.

“You said you didn’t want any?”

“I didn’t want you to spoil me.”

“It’s fine, Bambi.”

“Don’t hold back, unless it’s a million won then yes be proceed with caution.” You laughed at his silly joke, looking around the market and going to different stands. You were sifting through a carton of oranges and he grabbed a pair of tomatoes.

“Hey babe.”


“I love you from my head tomatoes.” You tossed an apple at him, thankfully it he caught before he had to pay for the potentially smashed apple.


“You laughed.”



“So corny.”

“At least I’m not stalking you.”

“Can I break up with you?”

“Okay, I’m done, I’m done. You can’t leaf me like that, I can’t romaine alone.”

“I’m breaking up with you.”  You bought a bit of produce, Jeongguk following behind you, He slipped his fingers between yours, knowing you were just messing with him.

“Oh, what a pretty girl!”


“Your boyfriend is very handsome as well.”

“He doesn’t mind being called pretty.”


“Oh, this jewelry is so cute.”

“You have a keen eye; these are my more precious pieces.” He stood there, watching you gush over pieces the woman was showing you and he smiled as you held up a pair of earrings near your ears.

God, you were so beautiful.



“Let’s go.”

“There isn’t anything you liked?”

“Not really.” You bit your lip, wanting to tug him along but a vibrant blue scarf drawn you to another stand.

“She really liked these.” They were simple and classic, dangling strings of gold wrapped around a gold frame. The white gems that hung from the golden strings sparkled in the light, easily catching his eyes and he understood why they caught yours. They were beautiful.

“How much are these?” He knew they would be pricey but he was whipped. He would do anything for you. The lady wrapped up nicely and he slipped the little box in his inner jacket pocket, catching up to you searching through racks.

“See something you like?”

“Besides you, no.”

“Come on, Bambi. You’d look great in anything here.”

“Oh, yeah. How about this?” You lifted a shirt that reminded him of that one weird grandmother he has. She was sweet to talk to, sure, she always smelled like a rose garden and had strangely tasty candies in her purse, she wasn’t that-

“Sexy.” You laughed, muttering to yourself ‘yeah, right’ before picking out something. He waited for you to come out, seeing you peek your head out the curtain.

“Come on, Bambi. I want to see you.”

“D-Don’t say it like that.”

“Don’t hide behind the curtains.” He got up, walking over to the curtain and not opening it. There were other people around, usually he would open the curtain without hesitation but he wasn’t about give a show of his girl to everyone in the vicinity.

“I look weird.”

“No, you don’t.”

“How would you know?”

“Bambi, I know.”

“Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.” You opened the curtain, stumbling a little at Jeongguk’s close proximity and he placed his arm around your waist to help you stabilize.

“You’re tantalizing…” You could be wearing a garbage bag and you would put all the other women in the market to shame. He glances at your outfit, it was a peach tiered skirt with a little white too that you tied up.

“J-Jeongguk.” He stepped in the small area, closing the curtain behind him before kissing you again. There was something hypnotic about the way you looked at him, the glimmer in your eyes, the perfect tint in your lips, how a brush of your fingers against his his arm could set his whole body on fire.

He just couldn’t quit.

“Jeongguk, they’re going to notice-”

“We just have to be quiet, Bambi-”

“Is everything ok in there?”

“Yeah, everything is fine!” He teased you, kissing your neck while you tried to communicate with the woman.

“Okay… Would you like me to look at different style for you?”

“It’s okay; I think I’m okay with this one-”

“Just be quick, then. There are other patrons that want to try on the other styles.”

“O-Okay.” You flicked his ear, easily getting him off and he smirked at you.

“I hate you so much.”

“Think you pronounced ‘love’ wrong.”

“That’s cute, Gukkie.” You put your hands on either side of his face and squished his face.

“So damn cute.”


“You’re so cute.” You pinched his cheeks, stretching them as far as you could with a smile on your face.

“You’re hurting me-”

“So. Freaking. Cute.”

He bought what you were wearing after having a ‘discussion’ (there was no way in hell you were leaving without it, but he kept that to himself) and brought you to the beach. You managed to convince him to buy some ice cream, claiming it would be the perfect thing to end the day with.

You giddily took your cone, happily licking the frozen treat. He took your hand, holding yours and his shoes as you held your ice cream cone in your other hand. He pulled you by the coastline, walking by the calm waves.

“You’re so cute.” He took a swipe of your ice cream, placing it on your nose and you pouted at him.


“I couldn’t resist. Here, you can retaliate.” You happily return the gesture, laughing at the silly face he made while your finger touched his nose.

“That was oddly satisfying.”

“You’re such a weirdo.”

“I’m your weirdo.”  You smiled, looking away from him and he smiled back. There was a comfortable period of silence, you taking your time with your ice cream and him just admiring the sight.

“Did I prove myself?”

“Hmm, you were definitely cheesy, I’ll give you that.”

“I’ll take it.”

“You were sweeter than usual, Jeongguk.”

“Would this give me brownie points?” He pulled out the box, handing it over to you and you opened the box. You covered your mouth, your eyes flickering between the earrings and him.


“You have great taste, Bambi. They’ll look beautiful on you-” You kissed him, catching him a bit off guard. He held you tightly, you pulling away and gently stroking his fringe.

“You’re the sweetest.”

“Sweeter than Woo Bin?”

“Sweeter than Woo Bin, Jeongguk.”

~Admin Blake

That is who I am: I overthink and I ruminate. I’m obsessive. But what I really want is relief. Most people are the same. We’re all carrying some shit. When you hear the things that people have gone through and realize you’ve gone through the same, it provides an amount of relief. It gives us hope. And I think that’s what we’re supposed to get from each other. The hope that, maybe, just maybe, we’re going to be okay. Maybe.
—  Marc Maron (Attempting Normal)
—  you compliment my dress but i can’t make out whether you genuinely mean it or you are just trying to make fun of me in the most twisted ways
i’ve known you for quite a few years and even then i can’t tell the difference between your love for me or your politeness towards me 

i can’t tell if you really mean all the good things you say to me because i am good or because you are just trying to be kind so as to not hurt my heart

maybe that is why i find it easier to push you away then to break apart each of your words thrown towards me because breaking something always leads to pain if it is done by an overthinking mind

even though i am up here and you are down there, i can’t believe how much that doesn’t matter in real life

around this time last year my parents asked me what i wanted for my birthday

i said,  i don’t want to live like this anymore. in counseling again, the psychologist asking me very gently what brought me back; i showed her the marks on my arm and told me i hadn’t taken what the GP prescribed because i was afraid.

maybe i can try drawing for a living, i suggested to mom and dad. just for a year. see where it gets me. i have enough savings to scrape by if i don’t manage to make any money.

it’s your life, they said. don’t live with any regrets.

in october, i gave notice at work and my boss told me he was proud of me, that it seemed to him completely obvious that this was something i needed to do. five months later i moved from full time to casual - forty hours each week down to four with the odd shift whenever the clinic needs me.

in november, dad helped me find a 1br apartment. i signed the paperwork in december to make it officially mine. i’ve been living in it alone since this february - feeding myself isn’t always easy but i manage to pay each bill on time.

my bro paul helped me set up my patreon and became my first supporter. friends both irl and online continue to amaze me with how much they’ve got my back. i enrolled in two art classes and have been doing them twice a week. i tabled my first convention in july with the help of my buddy eel, a tabling veteran who was more excited about my achievements than i was.

sometimes, walking through the door of my apartment, i still get a surreal feeling. like this is all a dream i’m going to wake up from. that things are going so well life must be gearing up to throw me back down the hole i was in. but i try not to overthink and just take it a day at a time.

most of all i marvel at how i’m surrounded by people who love me, people who believe in me before and more than i believe in myself. i don’t know where i’d be without these people - certainly not where i am now. maybe i wouldn’t even be alive.

i don’t write many happy stories. i’ve never believed in them. and in many ways this feels like it could be the calm before the storm, and the deep still calls occasionally to say i belong there - that this is somebody else’s life.

but mostly i’m content. more than i have been for at least the last eight years.

i hope it lasts!

anonymous asked:

Okay so, I was thinkin' a Robert/MC request. And it sort of touches down on something more emotionally touching? Him opening up about his feelings and the MC knows its hard for him to do. Maybe toss in some sweet cuddles if ya need but yeah. That'd be totally neato.

This was a pretty tough one, I couldn’t think of anything that’ll get the emotionally touching feeling on so I’ve decided to make a little jealous robert thing if you don’t mind. Hopefully you all like it!

I won’t say (I’m jealous)
Robert Small X MC Daddy              

Robert said he needed to work on emotional things first before committing into any romantic relationship, which I really respect and I am more than willing to wait till he’s ready. He’s been going through a lot and I know that as a father you’d want focus on family matters first. His relationship with Val has definitely improved these past few months. Also, no more daily dose of whiskey shots at Jim and Kim’s. I’m really proud of all the progress he’s made. And as promised, I remained by his side as a friend.

“I like you, I like you a lot.” He said as he held my hand, we were sitting our tree by the backyard watching guests leave the party we held for Amanda.

Those words are all I could hold on at the moment. And if loving him means holding on to those words for as long as I can, hold on I will.

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