but like i said before

2

After taking so many photos and videos and seeing them and feeling really bad about myself because certain angles made me look bad and then my confidence flew out the door I wanted to try and remember the good feelings everyone gave us during the con.

Like I’ve said before, yes, I’m chubby, always have been, I’m working on it. I also struggle with social anxiety and taking pictures let alone video is something EXTREMELY hard for me and I cried about this alot waaay before the actual convention.
Some pictures have surfaced where I feel like I look 10x bigger than i actually am, same with videos.
I’ve seen some mean comments, and yeah, I should sorta be used to it but…
I have to remember how sweet and wonderful and amazing everyone has been with us. Some people so excited they could barely speak. They didn’t care how big or small I was, they were just happy to see us with their own eyes, and I think that’s more important than any bad picture or video of me out there. 

I had an amazing time with Dalton and Luke too. It was so amazing meeting so many amazing people!! 

My biggest fear going to this convention was the thought of people being dissapointed when they finally saw me, (since Dalton has no problem showing his face for the channel, people knew what he looked like for the most part). I was afraid of that, but what we got instead were people so in awe and so happy - it’s just mind blowing, and an amazing confidence boost.

Anyways, I wanted to share these pictures, one of myself a couple days before the con I really liked, and a last day of con picture with me and Dalton. 
We had a really great time, and I won’t let a couple negative comments about my appearance get me down. (And thank you so much stevraybro for the confidence boost as well, you’ve been so sweet and so great words can’t even describe.)

Whether you see my face or not, like that I’m chubby or not, it won’t change who I am, or who Jaltoid is, and how great it feels to know how much we really are loved. So really, thank you so much everyone

When I was a kid

I couldn’t wait for summer. To run around outside and play all day but now I’m like “fuck you summer” 😠**grumpy face** and people still try to deny this intense heat isn’t global warming when it clearly fucking is. I remember summers being a hell of a lot more bearable than this. so like I’ve said before like a bazillion times “mankind needs to get its shit together” the suffering of man is his of his own making. I feel so bad for people who are suffering right now in this heat. with no air conditioning and no fans. Forced to be naked in their homes curled up on the cold bathroom floor to try and stay cool. Poor sweeties. I wish everyone could have free air conditioning for their homes….but then how much energy would that use?? A shit ton which would further impact the environment grr. Green energy is the answer. (Wind and Sun energy. Electric cars. Etc). Hemp/cannabis for everything else to save forests and stop the erosion of the land for cattle. Hemp used for food, clothes, homes, jobs!!.There are Tens of thousands of uses for cannabis. It’s not just for smoking and getting high. Ppl need to let go of that negative image associated with cannabis because its what what holds us all back. I’m a future thinker and I support all positive change that will advance mankind not hold us back from evolving. I’m pro choice. Pro human rights and freedom. Pro LGBT. Pro nature. Pro feminism. Pro animal rights. Pro kicking the shit out of rapists and child molesters (execute them for destroying lives). Pro protecting future generations from a shitty existence. Pro common fucking sense and decency. Pro mind yo business and let people live their lives. I don’t care about the colour of a persons skin I care about the soul. No one is above anyone. This social class nonsense is shit! All peoples of all skin colours and cultural backgrounds deserves to live free and happy lives. Ok I’m done my rant, thank you for reading lol. I woke up with a fire burning in belly this morning and needed to speak my peace. Love you all sweeties!! Xoxo

24 Hours

A/N: Hey guys, so sorry this took so long to get out! Life has a habit of getting in the way… So like I said before, this was six pages handwritten, four pages typed. Maybe my longest thing on here so far. This was requested by a-girl-who-loves-disney, hope you like it dearie! Enjoy!

~


You stumble out of the Quinjet, clutching your side. The blood had stopped dripping a long time ago, but the pain was still there. You and the new Avengers team had just returned to Avenger HQ after fighting a rogue band of Ultron robots that had somehow escaped the events of Sokovia.

Everything had turned out fine, the robots now disabled and disposed of. But not without some injuries. Natasha ended up with a giant gash on her leg that needed stitches, and Sam had lost a wing on his suit, much to his dismay. And you had a healing hole in your side.

“(Y/N), you need to get your side looked at.” You glance behind you to Steve, as he limps out of the jet.

“I’ll be fine, Steve. Nothing to worry about.” You wince at the pain, but smile through it. “It’ll be completely healed in the morning. You know that.” You turn back around, wanting to get back to your quarters for a nice long bath.

“I know, but I would feel better if you at least got it looked at. You got that because of me. Please? Just stop by the infirmary?” you stop walking, only to swivel on the heels of your feet.

“Steve, I never have an injury last more than 24 hours. That’s why I’m part of this team. This isn’t that big of a deal. I’m fine.” You tried to reassure the Captain, but Steve still had a look of concern on his face. His blue eyes were locked with yours. He takes a deep breath and nods.

“Okay. Ultimately it’s up to you. I’m sorry if I seamed pushy. Go and rest. I’ll see you later.” You smile and pat Steve on the shoulder.

“You too.” You turn your back on Steve, ready for a bath and some sleep. Behind you, Steve sighs.

*Two Weeks Later*

You walk into the kitchen rubbing the last bits of sleep from your eyes. Wanda and Natasha were sitting at the table, eating their breakfast and sipping on coffee.

“Morning.” You yawn, grabbing a mug and pouring the last of the orange juice into it. Wanda and Natasha give a chorus of ‘mornings’ back to you.

“So what do we have on the agenda today?” you ask, scooping scrambled eyes onto a plate.

“Just a normal day. Unless we’re called in.” Steve says as he walks through the door. You force yourself not to groan. Instead you nod.

“Sounds good to me.” you comment. Your about to grab your mug of juice and sit down to eat your breakfast when Steve sidles up next to you.

“Hey, (Y/N). I just want to thank you again. For saving me. I really don’t know how I’m going to repay yo-.” You cut Steve off with the groan you had tried to suppress a minute ago. You set your plate down on the counter and turn to face the Captain.

“Steve, that happened weeks ago. There’s no need for you to keep thanking me. I know you would have done the same for me. you would have done the same thing for everyone on the team. That’s what being a team is all about. So please, just let it go.” After you finish your mini speech, you walk out of the kitchen, your breakfast completely forgotten.   

Back in the kitchen, Steve is sighing yet again as he leans against the counter.

“What’s going on Cap? Why do you keep thanking her?” Natasha asks him. He only sighs and shakes his head.

“He likes her. And he thinks he only has the courage to talk to her is if it’s about work. But he’s wrong.” The accented voice of Wanda had both Steve and Natasha looking at the Witch.

“How do you know that? My liking her, I mean.” He asked her, a bit shocked. Nobody knows that he liked (Y/N). Until now. Wanda smiles and taps her temple.

“You are still easy to read.” Steve gives one of his cheeky smiles in reply. He moves away from the counter and sits across from the two women.

“What should I do?” he asks them. Natasha snorts.

“Talk to her. Simple as that.” Steve shakes his head.

“I can’t do that. Every time I try to talk to her about something other than work, I get all tongue tied. I haven’t been like this since Peggy. I just can’t do it.” Steve leans his head against the table and groans.

“Sure you can. You just need a bit of courage.” Wanda motivates and Steve sits up.

“You know what? You’re totally right, Wanda. Thank you.” And Natasha watches with a raised eyebrow as Steve stands up and leaves.

“Did you just-?” she asks.

“Yes. Yes I did.” Wanda smirks. Natasha beams.

Steve walked with such purpose he was reminded of when he had first joined the army. At least he walked that way up until he stood before your door. Without even realizing just what was going on, he raised his hand and knocked on your door.

As soon as his hand was back at his side, all of the courage drained out of his body. He was going to have to have a talk with Wanda later. Steve was just about to walk away when the door open.

You groan when you see him standing there.

“Just hear me out! Please.” He says before you can close the door on him. You like Steve, maybe more than you were willing to admit, but this was getting ridiculous. But you step aside and let him enter anyway.

“Thank you.” You role your eyes as you close the door behind him. You don’t say a word as you sit down on your bed. You look at him, face blank and waiting. Steve shuffles his feet, hands behind his back. He was nervous. And that fact made you sit up straighter and really listen.

“I guess I’ll start off by apologizing. For annoying you, or for anything else I may have done. I know you can be a very independent person, and I know you’re used to being that way, and I think that’s a part of why this is so hard for me. I really like you, and I don’t want to spook or startle you with any romantic advancements on my part. It really is hard for me to talk to women that I really like, and I really like you. The only way I was able to talk to you was if it was about work. Or if I was thanking you. And I am thankful. I probably wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t stepped in like you did. And I really don’t know how to make it up to you. Saying ‘thank you’ just isn’t enough for something like that.” Steve falls silent and suddenly your thoughts sound like gunshots in your head. You take a deep breath and stand up. As you walk over to Steve, you smile.

“you can thank me by taking me out for breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?” you ask. Steve’s face transforms to the happy, smiley one that always makes your heart stutter.

“That sounds perfect.”   

i think the reason im so open with this now on tumblr is because like i said before im manipulative and i cant help it and i want people to know how bad im feeling for no reason at all

Anonyme a demandé:

i had a gigantic crush on this guy and my friends shipped me and him really hard so i decided i would tell him but i didn't know how. since im moving and id probs never see him again i figured no damage would be done anyway. so the way i told him was the second to last day of school and i saw him in the hallway, walked straight up to him, said "BTW i like you" and walked away before he could say anything. and then all my friends screamed at me when i told them. so there's that o_o

oh my goSH IM SCRE AM S – I know that feel ive had that with a girl once where on the last days before i moved i told her she made me question my sexuality :’)
send me stories/questions! :^) (sleepover saturday)

Anonyme a demandé:

ok im sorry for bothering you but i just wanted to tell this to someone. imagine like. neurodivergent witches/wizards/magical folks who have magic fidget toys and stuff like that. idk someones probably already said it before but i think the idea of neurodivergent magical people is rlly cool

being that I’m a pagan/witch and a neurodivergent stim-loving nerd I couldn’t be happier about this concept like think of the potential for all kinds of stimming like never before

all kinds of chew stims that change texture and flavor on a whim

fidgets that are like magically ‘alive’ like little faux-living rubber snakes you can twist around and play with

wands that change texture/smell/shape/squishiness for the user’s comfort

being able to shapeshift yourself or parts of yourself for sensory stimming (like big fangs to chew with or a tail to wag or hold or wings to flap excitedly/anxiously)

neurodivergent specialist potion shops with all kinds of sensory spells

like the possibilities are endless omg bring me the neurodivergent magic

you know

the dog vs. veterans with PTSD posts in terms of who people decide deserves more courteousness with fireworks those are like

exactly the kind of shit im thinking about when i said before that there are times where it is fucked up and socially irresponsible to drop everything and go “actually i care about animals more than people”

i dont like how we place ourselves above all animals either it feels wrong. but we need to attend to each other and to the entire populations within the human race that are disadvantaged or held down in various ways. it’s what we got a responsibility to prioritize. and when you pull this, whether it was your intention or not, you’re giving those disadvantaged people the biggest smack in the face.

benevolentvoid a demandé:

lmao Magic by one direction, hanging around - charli xcx, probably something from lykke li's first album???

yk whats weird is i think i did a what 1d song am i meme before and like 3-4 of
you said magic??? a conspiracy if i ever saw one

Ah classic Dob always blaming his “haters” for everything instead of improving on his artwork. Also wasn’t Dob trying to fish for sympathy not too long ago? Saying he had PTSD or some such shit like that to make people feel sorry for him and donate to his Patreon.

And it’s funny how he “quit” DA yet he never uploaded any art on there anyway? Seriously he was using his DA page as a fucking blog and then acting like him leaving was such a big deal when really he barley uploaded any art on there for almost a year.

Like I’ve said numerous times before I have no respect for Andrew Dobson as a person he’s an asshole who brought all this hate on himself because he couldn’t handle people criticizing his shitty artwork.

Also I’m not even gonna bother pointing out the flaws in the bottom picture because there are more than just one Dob. But you keep believing that your artwork isn’t shit and that your “haters” are just nickpicking shit.

Anonyme a demandé:

what if we're 17 as well though? is it ok to sexualise the underage guys then?

Like I said before, it’s better if we keep those thoughts to ourselves to avoid misunderstandings because not everyone in this fandom will know your age and they’ll accuse of you being inappropriate even though you’re a minor as well. That situation can be avoided by just not saying anything provocative out loud. But if you have to talk about someone, best to do it privately with a circle of friends that are minors as well.

-Admin Danny

8

Different… and yet, so alike. It’s like two sides of the same coin. [insp]

2

His eyes were large, long-lashed, like Helen’s; unlike hers,his eyes were mismatched. One was Blackthorn blue, the color of water. The other was gold, hazed through with shadows. - City of Heavenly Fire, Cassandra Clare.

8K GIVEAWAY: for Cami.