Husband Reacts to 1D: History
The History video makes me a little sad and very nostalgic. I wondered would it have the same effect on Hubs? Not likely…
Quick warning: there’s some weird discussion of circumcision in this post, so if that sort of thing freaks you out, be cautious. Also, none of these gifs are mine, and I found a lot of them from other tumblr users who I have since forgotten the names of. Apologies.
“It looks like the beginning of a ‘Where Are They Now?’ special on VH1. ‘Boy Bands Exposed: The One Direction Story.’ This one had a drug addiction! This one diddled little boys in an alley! This one was Irish and drank a lot!”
“Oh boy. He looks like a weird Steven Tyler…”
“White Tips looks like a giant tool. Also, he looks like Carl from ‘Up.’”
“I’ve noticed a pattern with their videos. They don’t dance, so they just sing downward into the camera and do slow dramatic walks.”
“Aww, they’re lovers.”
“Nice hat, weirdo.”
“I bet they painted on those abs.”
(disgusted) “UGH! I hate koalas.”
- Hubs: Didn’t they worry about getting an STD from a koala?
- Me: Yeah, because it peed on him
- Hubs: Well that’s kinda their defense mechanism.
- Me: Yeah, Liam was nervous because he was being interviewed in Australia and they told him koalas carry chlamydia. The interviewer also asked how he and Louis were in bed…
- Hubs: Probably adequate. Mild to adequate.
- Me: The interviewer also asked if they were circumcised…
- Hubs: I bet only half of it is.
- Me: How do you only circumcise half of a penis?
- Hubs: They only cut off half the foreskin. The doctor got a call halfway through.
- Me: So then what about the other half?
- Hubs: The other half just dangles.
- Me: Does it fold off? Like a petal on a flower?
- Hubs: You know how like when a panel is loose on a car and it just sorta flaps in the wind? Or like, when that space shuttle re-entered and the panel was loose…
- Me: …and everyone died?
- Hubs: Yeah its kinda the same thing
“Nice sweater. He looks like Bert from Sesame Street, but if Bert had a heroin addiction.”
“White Tips isn’t part of the line. That might somehow be symbolic…”
“Oh. They’re peeing together. That’s not weird at all…”
“This must have been a really cheap video to make, it was just them singing in front of a wall with a lot of old footage added in. I guess their team was sorta giving up at this point.”
“Harry’s like ‘Okay bye, see you guys later, I gotta go pick up my dry cleaning.’”
“So two of them went one way, and two went the other way…? Does that mean something?”
(I mentioned how there was deleted footage of the band coming back together after this, and it was sad that it was deleted.) “No I think its fortunate, or else the video would have been longer.”
Well that’s one way to look at it.