but let's take the time to appreciate how angelic zayn sounds

anonymous asked:

what's your fav non-Larry moment?

Hello anon, this is my favorite kind of anon question, and I kinda want to talk about this forever. Let me tell you about how the boys take care of each other, and specifically, about how they take care of Niall. Because Niall is a precious snow flake who deserves only good things in life.

This moment is from the Take Me Home Tour, Aug 9, 2013 at the Staples Center, Los Angeles. The boys are singing Little Things. [x]

Right from the outset, Niall looks overwhelmed and out of it. I don’t know why, I don’t know what upset him, but he just. isn’t. coping. It is clear.

Look at his face when Liam starts singing. This isn’t Niall during Little Things. Niall is usually engaged, cheered because the crowd always sings back, and he is normally strumming along on his guitar like a little boy on Christmas morning.

Not this time though.

The others notice, because of course they do. We forget sometimes, how intimately the boys know each other, how much time they spend in each other’s company. So of course they figure it out.

Harry realizes, and you can tell, because he sings his entire first line with Louis while staring at Niall.

He doesn’t even try to hide it, and in the video, you see Liam catch on by looking at Harry, who is looking at Niall.

Harry gestures at Liam with his eyes to look at Niall, and then leans forward to try and see Niall’s face, presumably to check if he is crying.

When we get to Niall’s part, very clearly, Liam is gesturing to Harry in a “what’s going on” helpless shrug.

My heart breaks when Niall starts singing. His voice cracks on “you will never love yourself half as much as…”

Harry turns around fast enough to give himself whiplash the moment he hears that crack in Niall’s voice, concerned. Caretaker! Styles is in full fledged mode Harry and Liam gesture more to each other, with Harry mouthing “make sure he’s okay”. 

Apparently, this is all Liam can take. Because he starts to climb down to come closer. He gives him a moment though, he waits to see if Niall can get himself together without help. He doesn’t want to embarrass him in front of the crowd, so he waits, even though he wants to reach out and *hug him so bad*

Niall sounds upset again, and Liam sits by his side. First, he just smiles at him, leans in closer and harmonizes with him.

When that doesn’t seem to help, when Niall looks like he is about to crack, Liam puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him in. A silent, comforting gesture, of friendship and brotherhood, saying “I am here if you want to fall apart. I will sing your harmonies for you.”

Finally, it gets a smile out of our boy.

When Harry starts singing again to finish the song, Liam tickles Niall’s ear and presses his lips together in a kiss.

And even when Liam climbs back up, he leans down to whisper something funny in his ear, making Niall laugh out loud, interrupting the final chorus.

When they finish, Niall is laughing, smiling wide, and Liam goes back to his perch, like a man who accomplished a dear mission.

Even though we don’t see it, I am sure Harry, Zayn and Louis from across the stage are smiling as well, happy that Liam could take care of their boy.

You know anon, we forget, admist all the drama that surrounds the boys every day, all the good and bad press, the poor management, everything - we forget that One Direction, at its core, is just five boys who love each other and stand by each other through the craziness that is their lives.

It helps to remember every now and then.

Your Words Cut Deeper Than a Knife | Harry Styles

Stitches (Acoustic) by Shawn Mendes and Hailee Steinfield

[masterlist]

Your Words Cut Deeper Than a Knife | Harry Styles One-Shot Imagine

Request & idea by shhhh-me​: Y/N is the one that does Harry wrong and he’s heart broken over it. This one-shot was also inspired by the song that is linked above.

December 2015

One Direction had just finished their fourth tour, On the Road Again and shortly after they released a fifth album. They were finally home and taking a well deserved break after five hard working years. After Zayn left, the other four needed some time off and finally just rest. Niall was traveling around with Roy McIlroy, learning how to play golf better; Harry and Louis spent the first part of their break in Los Angeles but was now back to spend the holidays with their families. Liam and Sophia took a long vacation by themselves and then returned home to England in time for Christmas.

During their break, the boys were seen out and about with their loved ones, friends and even each other every so often. Despite how much time they’ve spent together on tour, or get on each other’s nerves, their bond was still strong; even their friendship with Zayn was mended.

Liam’s House

“Louis!” Liam shouted over his shoulder as he looked at the thick cardstock manila paper with scripted purple glitter ink.

“What do you want?” Louis joked as he walked out of Liam’s kitchen holding a cold bottle of water in his hand.

“Look! I got invited to the Make-a-Wish gala this year!” Liam waved his invitation to a gala that was suppose to take place next month.

Harry’s ears perked up from his relaxed position on Liam’s couch, “Wonder if I got one…”

Liam shrugged, “I dunno but my personal assistant said Louis and I got one since we helped out with the Cinderella Ball, you could be his plus one!” 

“Who said I want to take curly?!” Louis crossed his arms and Harry pursed his lips.

“I’ll just be Liam’s plus one then!” Harry pouted.

“You do know I’m going to take Sophia… right…?” Liam raised his left eyebrow.

“I’ll take Sophia, you can take curly.” Louis continued to give both of them a hard time as he took a seat across from Harry, who just rolled his eyes.

“When’s Niall getting here?” Harry asked outloud as he scrolled through Instagram.

“Soon, he’s probably still jetlagged since he just got back from the States yesterday.” Liam answered as he walked over to his couch.

Liam grabbed his black throw pillow and slammed it in Louis’ face, “Stop being a tosser! It’ll be fun, the four of us! There’s suppose to be an auction as well…”

“Oh is there?” Louis raised an eyebrow, sounding mischievous.

January 2016

They way they fell in love was unexpected.

The gala was hosted at British Museum in London on a Thursday evening. Y/N was stressed out, making sure that everything was going according to plan. Even though the Make-A-Wish foundation is one of the most well funded charities, she still wanted to make all the guests felt welcomed and appreciated. The board had voted and chosen Y/N to give the welcome speech of the evening. She had only been in her position for one year but since she had made so many positive changes and was very involved with the work, the board agreed that her speaking first would be a good move to reel in the donors. 

That evening, Y/N was sporting a beautiful black, elegant gown by Marc Jacobs that hugged her body perfectly. She was walking around greeting the many guests that were starting to arrive with her personal assistant constantly tailing her, letting her know who was who. Not only was it her first time being at the gala but to stand up in front of hundreds of potential donors, completely terrified her.

“Oh Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Sophia Smith had just arrived Y/N,” her assistant,Thomas, whispered in her ear as someone told him through an earpiece.

“Why- Who?” Y/N smiled as she waited for the next guests to walk down the stairs and into the main hall where the dinner and auction were going to be held.

“They’re members of One Direction, Sophia is Liam’s girlfriend,” Thomas reminded her.

“Ah… that’s nice of them to join us,” Y/N whispered as she nodded at guests that were walking by.

As she continued smiling and greeting guests left and right, she was constantly going over her speech in her head. Anticipating the moment where she finally had to speak in front of everyone was making her more and more nervous.

When Liam, Sophia, Harry and Louis entered the museum’s main entrance, they looked for their table number which was on a chart that was set on an easel before entering the actual atrium where the charity was going to be.

“Oh there they are,” Thomas whispered as he recognized the famous men descending the stairs but Y/N was feeling a bit nauseous and didn’t hear him. She turned to another board member and excused herself to the bathroom, telling Thomas to stay and wait for her.

Y/N rushed into the stall and leaned against the door, reminding herself that she could do this. She inhaled and exhaled slowly as she told herself to focus, this charity was everything to her and she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself tonight.

After she freshened up, she quickly rushed out the door and bumped into someone.

“I am so sorry!” She apologized and looked up into the most green and beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. He was quite tall, with long, brown curly hair and a smile slowly crept across his face, revealing dimples that brought a pink flush across her cheeks.

“No, excuse me, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was walking,” The guy replied slowly in a deep, syrupy voice that made her spine tingle.

Y/N felt her nerves building as she quickly checked her watch, there were about ten minutes left until she had to speak, “I was pretty distract myself- big speech to give… I hate speaking in front of large crowds… freaks me out quite frankly… and now I’m rambling… Sorry I don’t even know you, you probably think I’m crazy.” 

Y/N brought her hand up to her face to cover the pink that was deepening to red washing over her cheeks.

Tall, curly and handsome let out a low chuckle that made her melt as his dimples became more defined, “No I don’t think you’re crazy! I understand how you feel. Doing anything in front of a large crowd is pretty nerve wrecking.”

“Y/N! There you are!” Thomas walked up to them before she could reply, “You’re needed by-”

Thomas froze as he recognized the man who was talking to his boss but since Y/N wasn’t really sure who he was, she didn’t think anything of it.

“I have to go now, it was nice meeting you, sorry again about bumping into you.” She kindly smiled.

“’S alright, but hey just speak from the heart, that’s what really matters.” He brought his hand up to the left side of his chest and lightly tapped it as he returned a smile.

Y/N nodded before she hurried walked towards the stage to take her place in front of the podium after she was introduced.

“Welcome ladies and gentleman, to the 2016 annual gala for the Make-A-Wish foundation,” she started and everyone applauded.

Harry smiled to himself thinking about the woman he had just ran into, her eyes and smile gave him actual butterflies and that isn’t something Harry Styles feels often.

As Harry looked for his table, he saw that same woman standing in front of everyone on stage, welcoming everyone and he felt his breath slightly hitch as the light illuminated over her perfectly, making her glow. She was absolutely gorgeous.

“Hey Liam, who’s she?” Harry whispered as he took his seat between Liam and Louis, he had missed the introduction since he had to use the loo.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N, she’s one of the chairmen of the foundation… I heard she’s really, really involved with the charity work. Great person and all,” Liam explained in a hushed tone.

“And she’s quite fit.” Louis snickered as he took a sip of his wine.

“Really Lou?” Sophia shook her head.

Harry nodded and then gave his full attention to Y/N’s speech, mesmerized by her voice and smile while hanging onto every word.

“I would personally like to thank each and every one of you for coming tonight…” then she went right into her speech.

Y/N didn’t even look down at the note cards she had prepared; she listened to handsome’s advice and spoke straight from the heart and without even missing a beat she finished her welcome speech and the entire hall broke into a huge applause and she stepped off the stage.

The MC they had hired for the night introduced the next speaker.

After dinner before the auction, Y/N excused herself from her table and went to the bar, she really needed a drink after all the smiling and superficial conversations.

“Your speech was quite moving.” The same raspy voice startled her and she turned around to the same guy from earlier, smiling.

“Thanks, I sort of took your advice.” She grinned.

“I could tell,” He walked up next to her and ordered an ‘Old Fashion.’

“I’m Y/N by the way, how rude of me,” She held out her hand.

“Harry,” His wrapped his warm hand around hers and lightly shook it.

“Are you participating in the auction tonight?” She asked as the bartender handed them both their drinks.

“Perhaps,” He shrugged after he took a sip.

Y/N just nodded, she never was the type of kiss-ass for someone’s money, that wasn’t what she was about. She rather people donate because they genuinely wanted to help, this was where her and the other board members clashed.

Harry and Y/N spent the next fifteen minutes joking and getting to know one another and something stirred inside Harry that he couldn’t explain. He was completely drawn to her and he wanted nothing more but to keep talking to her the entire night. But then the MC asked everyone to take their seats so that they could begin the silent auction as everyone enjoyed their tea and dessert.

“I saw that.” Louis smirked once Harry sat down.

“Saw what?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“You know what.” Louis motioned his head towards the front table where Y/N was now taking her seat.

“Sod off.” Harry mumbled.

A few different items had been auctioned off such as antiques, jewelry, along with trips, and tickets to events. 

Louis actually won a signed jersey from an Arsenal player, typical.

Liam won a trip for two to the Bahamas for him and Sophia, which was really nice.

“The next item that is up for auction is a Hot Air Balloon ride for two.”

This had peaked not only Harry’s interested but Y/N’s as well. She had always wanted to ride one but never had the time, as for Harry, he loved hot air balloon rides and realized he hadn’t been on one in a while.

“The bidding will start off at £500,” The MC started.

There were many, many offers going for this hot air balloon ride and Harry could tell that Y/N really wanted it. She stopped bidding after it risen up to £12,000. It came between him and another gentleman and Harry had a bright idea, so he was determined to win it.

“£15,000, do I hear 17?” The MC continued and Harry raised his hand.

“17, do I hear 18?” The other gentleman raised his hand and Harry knew that that man was also determined.

All of a sudden the voice to Harry’s left boomed, “Twenty thousand!”

Harry, Liam and Sophia simultaneously dropped their jaw as Louis winked at his friend. He was trying to test Harry.

“Twenty thousand, do I hear twenty-two thousand?” The MC continued.

Harry glared at Louis as he raised his auction paddle.

“Twenty-two, do I hear twenty four?” 

The other man raised his hand but then shortly after Louis shouted, “Twenty-five thousand pounds.” 

“What the hell are you doing? You know I want that!” Harry lowly growled through his teeth.

Louis just shrugged as he flashed Harry a smile.

The other gentleman frowned and shook his head, refusing to go any higher which Harry could see, angered his date that was half his age.

“Thirty thousand!” Harry spoke clearly and grabbed Louis’ paddle to prevent him from going any higher.

“Thirty thousand pounds! Do I hear thirty-two?” The MC looked at Louis who just finished mouthing ‘fuck you’ to Harry and then shook his head at the MC.

“Thirty thousand it is!” The MC smiled as he held his hand out towards Harry, “To this- oh! It’s Harry Styles from One Direction everyone!” 

The entire hall applauded and Harry just waved his hand and smiled. His eyes searched for Y/N’s who was now looking at him in completely shock but he could see that there was also a smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

“Did you just…?” Liam was at a loss for words, not because Harry didn’t have the money but Harry was never the type to cause a scene like that at this type of event. Liam expected Harry to just donate the money in a form of a check like he usually does.

Harry just shrugged, “It’s for charity.”

After the auction ended and Y/N had thanked everyone again for coming and for supporting a good cause. Harry needed to talk to her again, he had to.

As everyone was walking up the stairs to exit the museum, Harry spotted Y/N speaking to a couple and conversing but she looked like she needed rescuing. He told his friends to go ahead and he would catch up to them, but of course Louis had to see for himself what Harry was up to.

Harry walked up to Y/N and the couple and flashed his pearly whites, “Excuse me for interrupting but Y/N you’re needed, there’s an issue with the leftovers.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together for a moment, completely confused but finally caught on when Harry began tugging at her wrist.

“Oh! Right! Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery!” She nodded before she followed Harry.

When they were finally out of site, she stopped walking, “What was that for?”

Harry grinned, “Thought you could use a little help.”

“Yeah, you’re right, they were about to tell me about their vacation to Barcelona… again!” She chuckled, “Thanks for saving me.”

“No problem,” He cleared his throat. Harry all of sudden started feeling nervous, realizing that they were now alone.

“So… Harry Styles…” Y/N clucked her tongue then frowned, “Hey! Earlier when you said you understood how it felt to be nervous in front of a large crowd! That- you perform for a living!” 

Harry let out a deep laugh that shook his shoulders as he nodded.

“Not fair! It’s not the same!” She placed her hands on her hips.

“Sure it is!” He winked.

“Anyways… I need to get going, I have a lot of things to do before I can actually sleep tonight-”

“Willyougoonthehotairballoonridewithme?” Harry asked in one breath which caught Y/N completely off guard.

She stared at him with wide eyes, wasn’t sure how to respond, she only just met him and already he was asking her out on a date?

“I’m sorry- you probably have a boyfriend don’t you?” Harry’s hand came up to his face to hide his embarrassment, his bottom lip pulled in by his front teeth 

“No, I don’t.” She quickly responded, wondering why he was interested in her.

A smile big crept across Harry’s face, as his bottom lip was slowly sliding from under his teeth.

“Will you,” Harry began again, “go on the hot air balloon ride with me?”

She really doesn’t know why she said yes, but she did and then she quickly gave him her number before she left the building.

“I knew it! You were totally into her!” Louis waited at the bottom of the stairs for his friend.

“Oh shut up!” Harry grinned as they both made their way up the stairs to join Liam and Sophia.

“You do know she’s like… my age, maybe older? And she’s pretty damn successful.” Louis pointed out.

“Yeah, I know.” Harry nodded, which was why she was different to him.

- - - - - 

Their first date happens a little over a month after the gala. 

Harry took Y/N on the hot air balloon ride and then out to dinner afterwards. Harry learned that Y/N had a soft spot for children and she worked incredibly hard to get to where she’s at and she absolutely loved devoting her time to the foundation.

As a chairman, it’s very rare to see them participating at events but not for Y/N; she loved helping out at fundraising events and meeting and greeting the children that her program helps. On the weekends, when she wasn’t busy, she could be found at various children’s hospitals, volunteering. She loved reading to the sick children, painting their nails, crafting with them, or even just holding them while they were feeling sick from the chemo. She had a big heart for them and that was one of the many reasons Harry Styles had fallen for her.

Harry had never felt the way he did about anyone as he did for Y/N and he knew from the moment he laid eyes on her, that she was special.

One month. After one month of dating Y/N, he knew he was in love with her.

July 2017

Y/N and Harry had been officially together for almost a year. After five months of dating her, he found the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend and he would never forget that moment.

July 2016

“Y/N, I- umm… I was wondering…” Harry stammered, his throat dry, and sweat that was building underneath his curls from the summer heat.

“Styles, are you okay? You look sick.” She cocked her head with a concern look in her eyes.

“Iwaswonderingifyouwouldbemygirlfriend!” He shouted out of nervousness and then covered his face with both hands.

Y/N bursted out laughing, clutching her stomach and covering her mouth.

“Oh my god! I thought you were going to throw up!” She continued laughing.

But Harry was frowning at this point, “Heyyyyy…”

“I’m so-sorry Harry, it’s just- you- you were so nervous like a 15 year old, when you’ve just turned 22 and… I-” She finally caught her breath and then closed the space between her and Harry’s body, “I find that really adorable.”

She could see the red in Harry’s cheeks as she looked up at him. Harry’s wide eyes sparkled as they bore into hers, his stomach was churning, waiting for her answer.

“Yes, of course,” Y/N whispered before raised herself up on her toes and kissed his soft, pink lips.

Harry was now on his fifth tour. After the boys took a year off, they missed being on stage and performing. The sales for the fifth album went through the roof which slightly surprised them since they weren’t sure how it was going to do since Zayn’s departure but the demands for shows was high so after weeks of meetings they decided to go on another world tour, with 85 shows.

The tour started in February of 2017 and wasn’t going to end until the first week of November of 2017 with a two month break in between, which Harry spent in Los Angeles. Y/N didn’t mind since she was really busy with work.

Harry had plan to come back to surprise Y/N for their one-year anniversary which was in a couple of days. He had missed her more than anything; she was only able to come to a couple of shows since she was very busy herself running the Make-A-Wish foundation in London.

At times he was envious of Sophia and Liam, because she accompanied him to over half their shows but Harry understood that Y/N’s position was very important and he couldn’t ask her to abandon helping the children that his very own band helps every year. Harry was very much in love with her, he knew in his heart that she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He told his mother, sister, his close friends and mates countless times that she was ‘perfect,’ ‘amazing,’ and ‘the one.’ They were all happy for Harry, they had never seen him so in love nor as happy with someone as when he was with Y/N.

Y/N loves Harry, she of course felt guilty that she couldn’t see more shows but she was also independent. She got use to Harry being gone after a couple of months and although they do video chat and call each other every week and text whenever they could, Y/N understood what she was getting into when she agreed to be his girlfriend. 

Since Y/N was a chairman and had a very tight schedule with constant meetings and charity events; she actually thought that their relationship was sort of perfect because it wouldn’t give her room to wait on him to return. She could maintain her work life, family life, and relationship without much conflict because Harry wasn’t always there. At times she felt bad that she thought him being gone was a good thing but she knew that she wasn’t the type of give up everything for a man she loves. 

She missed him, more than anything and of course she longed for his touch and it had been months since she felt his lips on hers, so there were days where it was hard on her and she desperately wanted to hear his voice, see his big green eyes and feel his touch.

Today was one of those days.

Y/N had been overwhelmed and stressed out at work since the board voted on cutting back some of their funding to certain hospitals which Y/N fought against but was eventually outvoted. It had been four months since she had physically seen Harry and touch him and for the first time she was going insane.

Daniel Barker was the new attorney liaison for the hospital and foundation, he had just started a few months ago and it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t attracted to Y/N and may have shamelessly flirted with her when he ran into her. Was he attractive? Yes. Did Y/N want him in any way? No.

After the board meeting, Daniel made his way up to Y/N’s office and asked her to come out for a drink with him and a few co-workers. Y/N saw no harm since there were going to be others that would be joining them, so she agreed.

She should’t have agreed.

The next morning she woke up with the worst headache, naked, and in Daniel’s bed. She quietly got dressed and tiptoed out of his apartment and sped home. Guilt was hitting her hard as she tried to remember everything that happened the night before. She remembered meeting up with Daniel and three other co-workers but by last call, it was just her and Daniel. When they left the bar and waited outside for a cab, he had kissed her and she didn’t stop him. He asked her to come home with him and she agreed without even thinking. 

When Y/N got back to her flat, she just wanted to shower so she rushed through her living room but suddenly stopped when she saw a massive, gorgeous arrangement of her favorite flowers sitting on her coffee table.

“Surprise!” Harry’s thick raspy voice came from behind her which caused her to jump and scream.

“Oh my god!” She clutched her chest as she turned around to see Harry smiling as he walked out of her kitchen and towards her.

“Happy Anniversary babe!” Harry quickly wrapped his arms around waist and another wave of guilt had hit her. First, she forgot that it was their anniversary, then she slept with another man the night before it. 

“Happy Anniversary Harry, I- I didn’t think you were going to be back until September.” She inhaled his cologne as she hugged him and realized just how much she missed him.

“I wasn’t but I wasn’t going to miss our one year together. Plus I have four days until my next show, I told my manager that I’ll just have to deal with the jet lag, it’s not a big deal.” Harry placed a kiss on her forehead, he could smell the alcohol coming off her body, but he just brushed it off, “I want to take you out today since I’m only back for two days.”

“Mmm,” she pressed her lips together, “Alright, just let me go shower and get ready.” Y/N nodded before she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and went into her room. She had a lot of work to do but the guilt was eating her alive so she wasn’t going to dismiss Harry, he just flew six hours to spend their first anniversary together.

Y/N pulled out her phone from her purse, it was down to 6% so she set it down on her charging platform next to Harry’s and rushed into the bathroom to shower.

Harry stood in the living room for a moment, racking his head wondering why she was being weird. He wondered if he should’ve told her that he was coming home. He wondered if he was keeping her from work by coming back all of a sudden and he felt awful. He went into her room and was going to tell her that they didn’t have to go out if she had work but then he heard his text tone go off and went to see who was messaging him.

Harry looked down on the charging platform to see one of the two identical phones light up and he saw an unfamiliar name.

He picked up the phone to see the message preview on the notification screen:

Daniel Barker: Why’d you leave so early? Last night was fun, we should do it again sometime. 

Harry felt his heart tighten and stomach drop. What? Harry read the message over and over again, trying to figure out if it meant what he thought it meant.

Did Y/N cheat on him? Did she sleep with someone else?

Did he do something wrong? Why would she cheat on him? Has he been gone for too long? What the fuck was happening?!

Harry’s mind was racing with all these thoughts, wondering what this guy meant. Do what again? Last night was fun? Did she really sleep with someone else?

Harry felt his knees weaken, as if they were about to give out, he had to sit down. He gripped her phone in his hand and slowly took a seat on the edge of her bed. 

How was he going to ask her? Should he ask her? Should he pretend that he didn’t see it?

No, that wasn’t possible. Harry wore his heart on his sleeve and she knows him enough to know when something was wrong.

Harry heard the water to the shower shut off and he slightly panicked. 

Did he want to know? Could he just ignore it for today and then ask her tomorrow? He didn’t know what to do and it wasn’t until she finally opened the door from her bathroom into her bedroom with just a towel wrapped around her body, hair still wet, that he just blurted out the first thing that was on his mind.

“Who the fuck is Daniel Barker?” Harry’s voice wavered.

Y/N was caught completely off guard and froze. Harry had never cursed at her like that before. Yes, they had one maybe two disputes but never had they fought and never had he raised his voice at her.

“What?” She squeaked.

“Who is Daniel Barker?” Harry asked again as he stood up from her bed.

“He’s a co-worker, sort of.” She chewed on her bottom lip as she saw the phone in his hand.

Harry pressed the home screen of the white iPhone, lightening up the screen, “Sort of? What the fuck did he mean by, and I quote ‘Why’d you leave so early? Last night was fun, we should do it again sometime’?”

Fuck.

Y/N felt her stomach drop as she listen to Harry read the text and her heart shatter when he looked up at her with a hurt expression in his face and tears in his eyes.

She didn’t know what to say, she felt her own tears stinging her eyes.

“Did you- did you-” Harry had to stop for a moment, not believing that he was going to ask the following question, “Did you cheat on me?”

Y/N couldn’t look at him, her eyes averted to the floor, “Yes.”

Harry barely heard her but he did and suddenly he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. 

“How long?” He asked.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together, confused by his question.

“How long have you been cheating on me?” He raised his voice a little louder.

Y/N shook her head, “It was just one time, last night. He meant nothing.”

He tossed her phone on her bed and ran his hands over his face. Harry had never been hurt like this before and he didn’t know how to react. He couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t see straight. 

“Why?” Harry growled, “Why? Why did you- did you sleep with another- why did you cheat on me?”

Y/N stuttered, not even sure why herself, “I don’t know- it was stupid. I was stressed out-”

“Am I not enough? Did I not love you enough?” Harry’s voice was shaking. Y/N looked up to see a tear escape from the corner of his eye and walked closer to him.

“No! It wasn’t you Harry! What I did- it was stupid! It was selfish! You didn’t do anything wrong.” She tried to reach out for his hand but he pulled away from her touch.

“Then why the fuck did you do it?! Was it because I’ve been gone? Have I not been good to you? Have I not shown you how much you mean to me? Have I not-” More tears fell down his face as he tried to remain calm but all he wanted to do was punch something.

Y/N wanted to slap herself, she never wanted to see him hurt, “Harry… it had nothing to do with you… I was the one th-”

“BUT WHY?! I don’t understand! If you say that I didn’t do anything wrong or it wasn’t anything I did then WHY THE HELL DID YOU EVEN DO IT?!” Harry shouted which made Y/N jump.

“I was drunk! I don’t know what else to tell you because I honestly don’t know why I did it!” She retaliated as tears fell from her eyes.

“Drunk?” Harry scoffed as he closed his eyes for a moment and wiped the tear stains off his cheeks and inhaled.

“Do you,” Harry didn’t want to ask the next question but he needed to know, “do you not love me anymore?”

Y/N had her arms around Harry in an instant, “No! Harry, I do…. I love you so much. That’s not it… I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t-”

“If you still loved me, you wouldn’t have cheat on me.” Harry stood motionless, his voice ice cold, his eyes fixed on the wall behind her.

He couldn’t look at her, he didn’t want to be around her.

“But I do still love you,” She whispered.

Harry pulled away from her embrace, “I need to get out of here.”

“Harry, wait, please don’t go.” Y/N sniffled as she wiped her cheeks. She knew she had royally fucked up and nothing she could say was going to fix this. Nothing was going to take away the pain Harry was feeling.

“Why should I stay?” Harry’s voice was low, “I-” Harry took a deep breath as he felt the tears starting up again, “I came back here to surprise you, to take you out to our favorite places, and spend time with you because I know it’s been too long since I’ve seen you-” The tears were streaming down his face at this point.

“I wanted to- to just stay in bed and make love to you, all day tomorrow and nothing else because god- I have missed you but no! I come home to a hung over girlfriend that had been fucking some other guy the night before! I’m such a fucking idiot!” Harry’s voice cracked as he yelled. He couldn’t contain his emotions anymore, he was completely heart broken. The woman that he loved more than his own life had just broke him and he didn’t know what the hell to do anymore.

“I’m so sorry Harry, I- he- it didn’t mean anything to me. He means nothing to me.” She tried to explain but watching Harry cry was hurting her more than anything. She felt like complete shit and she couldn’t believe that this was happening. He really hadn’t done anything wrong and she had assured him time and time again that the distance didn’t bother her.

“I don’t care if he didn’t mean shit to you! It’s the fact that you did it! Did you even think about me last night? Did I even cross your mind? Did you even fucking remember it was our anniversary?!” Harry grabbed his phone then walked around her and out of the room, he didn’t want to be there anymore.

“Harry, please! I’m so sorry!” She cried as she followed him, holding onto the towel around her body.

“Fuck you!” Harry pulled open her door and walked out, slamming it shut, causing the walls to shake.

Y/N let out a sob as the door closed. She didn’t realize just how much she loved Harry until that moment when he walked out of her flat and she felt like an even bigger piece of shit as the pain in his eyes and his face stayed ingrained in her mind.

Harry didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know where to go. They boys were in the States, his sister was traveling with her best friend Nora and he bloody well wasn’t going to go cry to his mum and Robin about it, he was 23 years old!

Harry pulled out his phone as he walked to his car. He went to his favorites and clicked on one of the only people that really knew him and waited for the call to connect. He knew that Niall would pick up, Niall hardly ever missed a call from Harry.

“Harry?” Niall’s Irish accent boomed through the phone, “How did she react? Was she surprised?”

Harry was quiet for a second not sure how he was going to tell Niall since Niall loved Y/N. He thought she was perfect for Harry and actually had invited her to a few football games with him. 

“Hello? Did your arse dial me?” Niall chuckled.

“No- I’m- she- she slept with someone else.” Harry finally stammered as he slammed the door to his car.

“She what?! Harry- I’m sorry mate.” Niall’s tone quickly changed.

“’S not your fault. Don’t apologize.” Harry turned his car on and peeled off down the street.

“Where are you now? Are you okay?” Niall sounded worried.

“I’m just going to go back to my house here in London, I don’t know what the fuck else to do.”

“Well how did you find out? What did she say?”

The entire drive from Y/N’s to Harry’s, Harry explained everything to Niall and poured his heart out. He was a mess. He didn’t know what to do, he loved her more than anything and couldn’t imagine his life without her but at the same time, he couldn’t trust her anymore.

“Do you still want to be with her?” Niall asked when Harry was done talking.

“I don’t know.” Harry exhaled.

“Do you still love her…?” Niall already knew the answer to this but he thought it was appropriate to ask.

“Yeah, of course, more than anything.” Harry struggled to get the door to his flat open as he stumbled in. He was weak and tired from the jetlag and it had been a long, exhausting day. He was physically and emotionally drained.

“I mean- yeah it’s shit that she cheated mate, and fuck, I would be raging too- but like- she said it didn’t mean anything right? Yeah she was so wrong and I am pretty pissed too and I’m not trying to justify why she did it…nor am I saying that you should forgive her or stay with her- but just think about it before you decide anything mate because I know how much you love her.” Niall was rambling because he wasn’t sure where he was going but he tried to give his heart broken friend advice.

“You know that people make mistakes but if you decide to forgive her mate- you have to forgive her and try to move past it.”

“Yeah… I know Niall…” Harry sighed as he dropped his bag onto his floor and walked over to his bed and sat down.

“I know I’m probably not making any damn sense-”

“No, you do, I just- sorry I’m just fucking exhausted.” Harry sniffled as he looked up at the photo of him and Y/N on his night stand.

“Well get some rest, call me tomorrow yeah? I’m always here for you mate.”

“Thanks Niall.”

Next Day

Harry woke up feeling like hell but he knew he couldn’t stay in bed all day, it wasn’t going to solve anything.

He forced himself to get out of bed and go for a run, that always helped him clear his mind and think clearly.

Y/N wanted to stay in bed all day but she had so much work to finish so she forced herself to go to the office but all she could think about was Harry’s hurt expression. She couldn’t for the life of her, get the image of him crying out of her head. She never thought she would be the one to hurt him the way she did. She constantly kept checking her phone, waiting for his call or text, knowing that she had no right to bother him since she was the one who messed up.

Not even half way through the day, she realized she wasn’t getting much done so she told her assistant to clear all her meetings because she wasn’t feeling well and went home. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed, no all she wanted was Harry to hold her but she knew he wasn’t going to talk to her any time soon.

When Y/N entered her flat, she was startled by the figure that was sitting on her couch, “Harry?”

He looked up at her and her heart dropped as she saw how puffy and sunken his eyes were. Harry had his hair tied up in a messy bun and he was wearing a plain black t-shirt and grey joggers.

Y/N set her purse and bag down on a chair and joined Harry on the couch.

They sat staring at each other for a few minutes in silence. 

She wanted to touch him, tuck the loose strand of hair that was peaking out, behind his ear. She felt like such an idiot for what she did, while Harry was feeling broken and hurt. Yes, he had missed her and wanted to reach out and touch her but he couldn’t get the image of another man touching her out of his head.

Harry couldn’t look at her in the eyes, afraid he would break but he was the first to speak, his voice, thick, hoarse and raspy, “I’m so hurt… I can’t stop thinking about another man touching you… the way I touch you.”

Y/N’s breathing hitched as her heart tightened, “Harry, no one could make me feel the way you feel.”

“Don’t- just- please let me finish.” Harry looked up into her eyes and she nodded as she tightly pressed her lips together.

“I am so angry at you and so hurt… and I never thought that you could ever hurt me like this and… what’s driving me insane more than anything is that you say it meant nothing to you, that he meant nothing but yet you still did it, I just- I don’t get it. I love you- so much- and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you…” 

Y/N knew it was coming, he was going to end it with her and she didn’t even have the right to fight him because she was the one that fucked up and hurt him. She had no right to beg him to give her another chance, she had no right to ask him to stay when she could see how broken he is.

“But I don’t want to know.”

Y/N’s eyes widen.

“That is… if you don’t want too.” Harry cleared his throat.

“What?” Y/N’s mouth was dry, she wasn’t sure what was going on.

“I don’t want us to be over. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and fuck, I’m hurt- but I- he meant nothing right? Do you have feelings for him at all?”

“No. Nothing. I promise.” She could see the blank expression in his eyes when she said it, “I know that my promises probably don’t mean anything to you right now, but he was nothing. He meant nothing.” She tried to assure him and hesitantly reached out for his hand but he opened it for her to take.

“Do you still want to be with me?” He sniffled.

“Yes. Harry, yes, I do and I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.” She tightened her grip around his hand.

“I just need some time… but I don’t want us to end.” Harry stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

Y/N just nodded her head. 

They stayed quiet for another few minutes before she finally spoke, “I’m sorry Harry. I never should’ve done what I did. I never want to hurt you ever again. I was so wrong and I wish I could take it back. I love you so much and I’m sorry for what I put you through and for making you feel the things that I know you’re feeling and going to continue to feel for a while… but just know that it really wasn’t you- it was me. It was a selfish move and it was stupid. I was drunk- and I know that’s not an excuse but I was and I just- Harry I’m an idiot. I love you so much, I really do.”

Harry didn’t say anything. He knew that it was going to take time for things to finally go back to normal so there was no point in continuing to talk about it because all it was going to do was put images in his head.

Harry stood up and gently pulled her up with him, “Can we just go lay down and cuddle before I have to leave in the morning?”

And that’s what they did, Harry held her all night and fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her and in the morning he went back to the States for the rest of the North American leg.

September 2017

Y/N was nervous.

She was shaking as she waited for Harry at the airport. It had been six weeks since the incident and since she had last seen Harry. He didn’t call her or text her the first week after he left but the second week, his ‘good morning’ texts started again and he called her to tell her he missed her and talked about his week. By the fourth week, their conversations had resumed back to normal but she still could feel the tension between them.

Harry’s jet had finally landed and her heart quicken as she jumped out of her car that was parked along with other black suburbans that was intended for Niall and Harry. Harry actually didn’t know she was coming to pick him up, she wanted to surprise him but she was sure that he saw her car when the plane flew over the airport runway.

Y/N wrung her hands and bit nervously on her bottom lips as the door to the jet opened and the stairs came down.

A few familiar faces descended the stairs first, such as their manager, security and personal assistants.

Niall was the first to come down of the two with his black framed Ray-Bans and decked out Nike outfit. He smiled when he saw her and waved.

She walked closer to the jet, towards the bottom of the stairs and gave Niall a long hug.

“Missed you woman.” Niall chuckled, “I know Harry sure did.”

“Missed you both too.” She grinned.

Y/N saw Harry step out of the jet behind Lou and Lux and felt her heart skip a beat. His hair was tied back in a neat bun, he was wearing his favorite flamingo shirt with only three buttons done, black skinny jeans, black suede boots, and his favorite Louis Vuitton doctor tote in his hand.

Harry immediately saw her and a huge smile spread across his face.

As soon as he descended the steps his arms were around her and placed butterfly kisses on her lips.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She mumbled against his soft, pink lips.

“I’ve missed you more.” He continued kissing her.

“Oy! You two! Get a room!” Niall shouted over the whirring engine of the plane.

“We sure will.” Harry breathed into her ear.

After Harry and Y/N said goodbye to everyone and Niall pressing them to go out with him that weekend, they climbed into Y/N’s car and headed back to Harry’s house.

As she drove away from the airport, Harry laced his hand in hers and leaned back in the passenger seat, his eyes closed, he was absolutely knackered.

Y/N was so scared that things were going to be different for them when he returned. She was afraid that his feelings might have change after being away from her for so long but feeling his hand in hers, she knew that everything was going to be okay.

As for Harry, there was no one else he wanted to be with but her. Despite everything that happened, he learned to forgive her and he was ready to let it go. He knew that she was the one, and the velvet box that held their forever was hiding in the tote that was at his feet.

x3 M

A quick MITAM review for you from me.

1.) Hey Angel - What a way to kick off this album…! A tall and dominant song. That beat is like a train coming at you, and I liked this from the first listen. I looove the “Bittersweet Symphony” resemblance it has, I also hear some Oasis in this tune. Love the anthemic vocals. The way Harry sings “Hey angel, tell me do you ever try to come to the other siiiIIIIIIde?” like, dammmmmm. I love how rocky he can get his voice to sound.. Flawless delivery. Fantastic tune. 

(I’ve given my opinion on the next three songs many a time, but some quick thoughts again.)

2.) Drag Me Down - Still a JAM, still a favorite of mine. This a song that takes a stand, this is the song you take with you to war. It pulses. Love the slick groove, the brash guitar riffs, and the powerful lyrics. Harry’s high notes… 10 stars in the book for him. And his little laugh at the end.. pls. 

3.) Perfect - I actually find myself loving this more and more. It’s like the perfect pop song. It follows the pop-song-recipe to the dot though, but it’s still a little cheeky, which I like. The way Harry sings the word “rendezvous” is enough reason to love this song. 

4.) Infinity - The last minute of this song with the crescendo is the best part for me. I think the choruses and verses before that are okay, but I love waiting and getting that build up.. and the there’s just fireworks everywhere. Absolutely love the Coldplay-esque ending with Harry’s high notes backing it. 

5.) End of the day - I was so hopeful when I heard Harry’s first verse. Love the lyrics in that first verse. “I told her that I loved her, was not sure if she knew. The roof was pretty windy and she didn’t say a word.” Suuuuuch charm over those lyrics. I love the piano trotting along to Harry’s vocals, it’s a light, airy start, but it falls through on the choruses for me. I don’t love them, they’re too jarringly out of place. I appreciate them taking the risque, but no :p But then we come to Liam’s verse, and he sounds so good. A very cool high-note from Louis in this, and the high-notes from Harry towards the end are fantastic. (Can honestly say that Zayn didn’t strike my mind not even once whilst listening to this album the first time. Didn’t miss his high-notes or vocals at all, the other boys, (mainly Harry as he has most of them,) are nailing the high-notes like it’s nothing. 

6.) If I Could Fly - Love how they stripped it down, and that we get to hear the strings and the piano so clearly. The vocal delivery from the boys is again, so damn good. It feels like they’re standing in your living room singing to right to you, it’s so intimate-sounding. So believable. The way Harry sings “I hope that you don’t run from me,” breaks my heart. The way he pronounces the word ‘me’ especially. His voice slightly breaks on that word, and it just feels like longing. Gorgeous. “I’m missing half of me,” again, amazing. His voice is so layered, and in this song he evokes emotion. It’s warm, and he brings that air of desperation that you want to hear in a song like this. At least I do. And the way Harry goes up in falsetto at the end there, and his voice backing the other boys towards the ends… Regardless of what’s inside of you, forget it … tears. 

7.) Long Way Down - So serene and organic. Def brought me back to “Drops of Jupiter” by Train, and I get a slight John Mayer feel from the guitars on this, and that’s a huge compliment. Gorgeous guitar tone, love the hooks. Love how Niall sounds on the first verse, and Louis on his verse. I’m not a massive fan of his voice, so I prefer it when he leans back with his vocals like he does on this tune. Lovely. And again, Harry… Fucking brings IT. This song feels like a warm Summer’s day. It feels like a light breeze. Like the first sip of coffee in the morning. Like a warm hug. I love it.

8.) Never Enough - When I first heard this song, I was so puzzled and surprised lol. It gives me a Jungle Book feeling or The Lion King vibe or something, haha. But I absolutely dig it. It’s unstoppable. The ‘HOAH’s’ are wicked. Such a catchy song. “Lips so good I forget my name.” Yes, niiiice one. “Come Owwwn!” AH! I’m also so madly in LOVE with the sax on this!! So funky and cool. Again, Harry drives the chorus in a superb way. Love when Liam is riffing and backing Harry in the background towards the end, so slick and effortless from Liam. You can tell that they had a lot of fun with song, it’s like the no-holds-barred song on the album. FUN, FUN, FUN song. 

9.) Olivia - Beatles vibe allllll the way, and what’s not to love about that. I love how they’re not afraid of trying new things and exploring new landscapes. Love the strings and the horns. Love this; “This isn’t the stain of a red wine, I’m bleeding love.” Also the lyric “Don’t let me go”, a nice little throwback to Harry’s song titled the same..<3 And the bridge is sooooo pretty, oh my gosh. The way harry sings, When you go, and I’m alone, you live in my imagination. The summertime and butterflies, all belong to your creation.” so lovely, love those lyrics too. The way in which he alters his voice to fit each song on this record blows me away. This song requires the sweet in his voice, and you get exactly that. Everything in this song is so delicately arranged. “”Olivia” was Harry’s genius.” - Bunetta. TRUTH. 

10.) What A Feeling I got emotional listening to this song, it was love at first listen. They’ve used the 70′s and 80′s influences in a fantastic way with this song. I feel like I’m listening to a concoction of the best parts in songs from bands like Bee Gees and Fleetwood Mac. They’ve gone old-school, but they sound CURRENT. It’s still highly original. Swaying, sexy beat, KILLER chorus, great lyrics, fantastic instrumentation, the bridge, vocals, every piece of the puzzle fits. I want to go road-tripping with this song, windows rolled down, wind blowing in my hair, total bliss. Or go roller-skating with my friends and get drinks afterwards. California-vibing. “What a feeling to be a king beside you somehow.” Always down for guys who address women as queens. (We need more of that in music today.) When the instrumentation stills and you hear their harmonies.. wow, and then the beat kicks in again, and you get those soaring harmonies in the background over the lyrics “I wish I could be there now.” I could cry, it’s so beautiful and impactful. This song is a scintillating collection of beautiful melodies and sky-scraping harmonies, and this is now one of my favorite songs.. ever. 

11.) Love You Goodbye - Another full-volume tune… The intro has a short haunting feel to it, which I love. "If tomorrow you won’t be mine, won’t you give it to me one last time.“ Uh, YEAH! So hot. When the music stills and you just get Harry singing “Oh why you wearing that to walk out of my life,” beautiful. Love the guitars near the end in this song too. Good stuff. 

12.) I Want to Write You a Song - Oh, be still my heart. With minimal guitar strumming and vocals, this is simplicity at its finest. It doesn’t bite at you with a complicated melody or a lot of production, it kinda just nudges you on the shoulder and invites you in. I love that you can hear someone writing softly under this song, a very clever detail. This song is a treasure. The melodies, the harmonies…The way they go up in falsettos, just exquisite vocals. But Harry’s verse after the bridge.. It makes me weep. The way he sings “Everything I need I get from you, and giving back is all I wanna do,” God, those lyrics and his earnest delivery hits me right in the heart. I couldn’t be more in love with this song. <3

13.) History - First thought; the perfect camp fire, sing-a-long tune. Very catchy, sweet lyrics, homely vibe. A flavored, rootsy and wooden tune. Not a fave, but I love the sentiment. I love what they wanted to get across with this song. And it’ll probably grow on me.. :)

14.) Temporary Fix - Would’ve loved to see this in the original edition! Kinda has that The Kinks, The Strokes vibe to it, which I dig. And again, color me impressed! Harry’s deep timbre, his almost growling vocals on this dirty little number crawls up my thighs. Again, he alters his voice to fit the sentiment and the mood of the song.. He’s incredible okay. “Your body is saying everything, I don’t have to read your mind. Feel you on my neck while I’m calling a taxi. Climbing over me while I climb in the backseat.” What a lovely imagery… And Harry’s scream… Yes. I’m about this life. I love this song. 

5.) Walking in the Wind - Again, would’ve loved to see this one on the main edition, it’s too good for it not to be, imo. This track is right up my alley, and I feel like it has Harry written all over it. They’ve drawn all the right influences from Paul Simon on this, from the drumming beat to the vocal delivery, it’s all very Paul Simon-y, in the best way. The first verse is one of my favorite lyrical parts on the album. Excerpt from it; “If you’re lost, just look for me. You’ll find me in the region of the summer stars.” Ahh.. beautiful. Love the vocals from all of the boys on this so much. The chorus is amazing, and Harry killsss the bridge too. Towards the end, Harry is driving the chorus, but he’s also the one doing backing vocals and the high notes, and Harry on top of Harry is gold in my ears, haha :)  A deeply warm, spellbinding, tasteful song. 

16.) Wolves - Love the chorus, love the “Ooh-ooh-ooh’ hook. Again, Harry is sounding fantastic. “When the wolves come out, headed straight for your heart, like a bullet in the dark.” Love that line. I get a little early Coldplay/Bruce Springsteen feel on this tune, and I love that. Cool number. 

7.) A.M. - Such a delightful and sweet closing number. I love the message this one has, it’s so relatable. A total chill, unpretentious song. It feels like we’re there with them, talking, drinking, hanging out as friends. It’s so conversational. “We’re just swimming around in our glasses. And talking out of our asses.” I adore this song, and I want to hug it. 

This is a strong, melodic, coherent and absolutely charming album that veers from moments of absolute greatness to moments of touching simplicity. It’s a very well-crafted and detailed album, yet they have left room for some rough edges. It’s artistic and exploratory. It’s got so much HEART. And they’ve never sounded better. Individually and together. I’m so incredibly proud of them, and seeing them love this record as much as I do, absolutely warms my heart. I’m so fucking proud of what they’ve created whilst touring and living hectic lives. And if you keep in mind what happened prior to this album, it’s even more impressive. I love these boys, and I hope they get a ton of praise and critical and public acclaim for this album. They deserve all of it and more. *pops the champagne* 

#22 Things I love about Zain Malik.

#1. Your personality. You’re never one to show off or be arrogant. You take life as it comes and you don’t complain about whatever bothers you. You’re grateful for the things you get and appreciate your fans, family and friends. 

#2. Your kindness. Zain Malik, a secret angel. No one knows, where you are or what you are doing when you’re not touring - all of a sudden, you jump out of nowhere and have been saving lives again. Be it, helping out kids, who’re dealing with cancer; be it donating an impressive amount of money to the ones in need; be it, promoting… Your kindness is one of your best traits, angel. 

#3. Your honesty. You don’t shy away from always telling the truth. Remember the time you stated, that Liam and you were fooling around and accidentally kissed? If this isn’t brutally honest, then I don’t know what is. 

#4. Your loyalty and protectiveness. Always so trustworthy, always so loyal to your boys, aren’t you? Someone drags Niall? You out, buddy. Someone calls Liam theirs? ‘Some people should stick to their own lane.’ Someone harasses Harry? Wait for your worst nightmare. Someone fights Louis? You won’t want to do that again. Yeah, that’s you Zain.

#5. Your smirk. Fuckbucket. Shame on you. You know how to kill the whole fandom. No words needed. 

#6. Your intelligence. You’re so incredibly smart - whatever you’re gabbling on about, it’s carefully worded and incredibly clever verbalized. Einstein has got nothing on you.

#7. Your art. Passionately created, inspiringly drawn, beautifully combined pieces of art. Miracles. Your technique, the way you try out things to perfect it, your passion - I love whatever makes you happy. And your art makes you and the whole fandom happy. 

#8. Your outward appearance. We can’t pass out on that one. Your smile is cute. Your style is on point. Your hair is always a piece of art, whether it’ll be the quiff, the single strand of hair that falls down, the curly hair, the headband-hair or to generalize it; YOUR HAIR IN GENERAL. Your face is attractive - YOU ARE PREFECT ZAIN MALIK.  

#9. Your comfort and care. There’s no one happier than those, who get the chance to derive comfort from you. You emanate security, consolation. You let everyone know, you’re appreciative and that you care. You honestly CARE ABOUT US - thank you Zain. 

#10. Your small gestures. Be it, messaging from someone else’s phone how appreciative you are of your fans. Be it, supporting Palestine. Be it, dealing with daily hate but nonetheless still throwing love and happiness. I love that about you, Zain. 

#11. Your obsession with comics. Hulk, Superman, Batman, the Joker - superheroes and villains in general. You’re super dorky and a nerd, but I love that about you.  

#12. Your coolness. You never seem to lack the ability to stay calm or ease in uncomfortable situations. Even though you’re the quietest member of One Direction, you get so much sh*t thrown at you and THAT doesn’t make you throw a fit or threaten people around. You’re too cool Zainie, too cool babe. B-))

#13. Your soft self being. BRADFORD BAD BOY more like BRADFORD’S GIANT SOFTIE. Everyone thinks you’re this mysterious guy, difficult to figure out, whereas you’re an open book to read. You seem cool, you seem mysterious, you seem careless - but the truth is, you CARE. You won’t show it, you won’t let anyone know, that you’re hurt or uncomfortable, you won’t tell them off, you won’t do anything to change people’s behavior, but even though you try to hide it, you’re incredibly soft, caring and you take everything to heart. I love that about you, Zain. 

#14. Your scares. You’re afraid of roller coasters. You’re afraid of water. You’re afraid, One Direction will be over one day. You’re afraid of the fact, that your family gets bothered by the press and media. You’re afraid of people seeing you as ZAYN and not ZAIN. But I see you Zain. We see you. 

#15. Your voice. YOUR VOICE, ZAIN. No explanations needed here. 

#16. Your moves. ‘I can’t dance, Simon.’ The hell you can’t boy. Circling those hips. Thrusting up. Dancing in a dorky way. Doing the Macarena. I love that, man. 

#17. Your tweets. Most of the time, they’re informative. You let your thoughts take place in your tweets. Speak your mind babe. Voice your opinion. 

#18. Your philosophical self. How do you even go from ‘Some people should stick to THERE own lane’ to ‘No matter how many times people try to criticize you, the best revenge is to prove them wrong’. Well you do. I love that. 

#19. Your smile and laugh. The crinkles by your eyes, when you smile. The sounds you make, when you laugh wholeheartedly. The way your nose scrunches up and your perfect white teeth appearing, when you do. You’re so incredibly beautiful Zain. Thank Allah for that.

#20. Your determination to achieve.

#21. Your ‘wearing my heart on my sleeve’ attitude. 

#22. YOU. I love you Zain. We love you. 

HAPPY 22nd birthday Zain. MAY ALLAH GIVE YOU, WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES. ♡

One More Song

Written for my gorgeous and amazing trytobullyhimnow-ziam. ;) I hope you like it. It’s somewhat long (2K+) and can also be found on AO3.


New flat, new beginning. Most of his stuff remains packed in many different boxes of most varied sizes, but that will have to wait till the next day. Right now, what Zayn craves the most is a hot shower. Just undo the knot on his shoulders and wash away an entire day of walking up and down the stairs with armfuls of boxes— too bad the lift decided to stop functioning the day he’s moved in.

“Welcome to our new home, Bob,” Zayn smirks at his panda-shaped docking station, placing his iPod on it.

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