but just to reiterate

anonymous asked:

I was reading a Clexa fic and the writer of the fic just made Clarke a lesbian instead of bi and it made me so mad to have someone else erase one of the only examples in media we have. I immediately wanted to have a bi erasure discussion with you. Like, I get people can make things canon how they want, but I feel like people always act like bi people don't exist anyway.

it’d be the same thing as writing ace characters as gay or a lesbian as bi. characters’ marginalized identities are important because of the representation they provide and with bi people it’s no different. people LOVE to say “where are bi people in history what have they done?” well, been erased, for one.

a-medley-of-memories  asked:

Hello! Sorry if I'm flooding your page, you have such wonderful stuff all over your dash and I love your take on lapidot. I heartily agree with your thoughts on Steven and amethyst and Peri being sibling like. I know I just started following you but I hope to talk about my su related ideas soon :)

Hi, new follower!  It’s very nice to meet you :D

Thanks for the kind words - and don’t ever worry about flooding my page, I’m honestly used to my notifications going crazy lol!

Please do feel free to send these SU ideas to me, if you’d like to :3  I just want to reiterate this because you might not be aware of it if you’ve only just started following me, but - I get a lot of asks every day.  So, if I don’t get to yours very quickly, it’s not because I’m ignoring you; it just sometimes takes me a few days to wade through them all.

I hope you continue to enjoy my blog, and have a lovely day! :)

god keep ur fucking kink meme shit out of ao3 tag y'all make this fandom even more insufferable than it already is and thats saying something!!! The kind of shit y'all post require a fucking trigger warning it doesnt belong in a safe space

Edit: nothing to change just came to reiterate that white people are freaks

It has come to my attention that, regrettably, there are certain exotic animal owners who knowingly and willfully try to hide the law and will attack those who share it openly online because they believe that knowledge of the law puts their “community” at risk of being busted.

Well I’ve never been a big fan of online bullies, much less online bullies who try to hide laws. So I’m gonna go ahead and remind all 8,100 of my beloved followers that the rabies vaccine in the USA is proven to work on domestic dogs and cats in clinical trials only. This means if you have an exotic like a raccoon, a fox, or a wolf or wolf hybrid and it bites someone, it can be forcibly removed from your care and destroyed so its head can be sectioned to test for rabies.

The rabies vaccine offers these animals NO legal protection even if it does actually prevent rabies, because the government does not recognize the vaccines efficacy on a legal level. This is the sad truth of the law. It isn’t scientific but it’s there.

This information is important to anyone ever considering adopting, fostering or even temporarily caring for an exotic mammal. Why certain people in these circles wish to keep such potentially fatal information hidden is beyond me.

So, again, I reiterate (just to make them mad) that the rabies vaccine offers no legal protection to an exotic such as a fox, raccoon, wolf or wolfdog if it bites someone. (Wolfdogs are occasionally treated like domestic dogs but dont count on it!)

Lack of knowledge of rabies control law can lead to tragedy for anyone responsible for exotics.

@markiplier

Please get Mark to see this.

I’m well aware that you know it’s important to credit creators. This goes for photoshop and art alike (etc) . I really hope you saw that my thing with Tom Brady and Tyler was used and not credited (as far as I know, please correct me if it was). I just want to reiterate something.

In my book, it is never okay to use someone’s content without direct permission from them. It is okay, however, if this content includes the person using it and is credited properly. Example: Markiplier fanart being used by Mark and Mark only, so long as it’s credited.

I saw Tyler defend someone who stole my art, saying they only wanted to share it. This is wrong. You need direct permission from an artist to use it.

Please, advocate something like this in the community, and please please please, at least give me credit. I am mad by principle. You cannot excuse theft in anyway. 

Edit: I’m not mad per say. I’m dissapointed. I understand Mark has good intentions and I understand he likely forgot. Just principle here.

edit 2: For those who aren’t aware, mark has seen this! just leaving it up. :P

2

In case you missed it. FBI director James Comey, when called to testify in a public hearing to the House Intelligence Committee revealed two key pieces of information today. 

 1), the most obvious and expected announcement being that there never was any evidence of Obama wiretapping Trump. Not that anyone *really* needed this confirmed, but he was the last line of defense for the White House to continue on with this entire farce. But I obviously don’t expect him to ever come clean about lying or apologize to President Obama. 

 2) More importantly, Comey also revealed that the FBI has an actual ongoing criminal investigation into Trump/Russia connections. 

Since July.
MONTHS BEFORE ELECTION DAY. 

While Comey was writing letters about Hilary’s emails, the FBI was also investigating possible links between the Trump campaign and the Russian hack of the DNC. 

So just to reiterate, because this is new information, there is an ongoing FBI criminal investigation looking into possible links between the Trump Campaign and Russian hacks of the US election and attacking our nations democratic process.

In case you missed it

Message from Rebs ๐Ÿ’›

Hello everyone! I just wanted to reiterate that I am Okay. I didn’t really delete because of the pressure or hate or anything, it was just that I felt like I was making things worse by being around only to be negative when I feel like people followed me to find some positivity to start with. For that reason, I’m really sorry that me leaving has upset people, I didn’t really realize it would, I kind of felt like everyone would be relieved to not have to see that side of me anymore and could just remember the happy stuff I had done in the past.

All of that said I definitely do feel relieved to not have so many eyes on me right now. This is allowing me to feel a lot more removed from the situation, so I think my channel is safe from being deleted for now because I can kind of pretend if it’s not there. If I change my mind on that I will try to give people some notice. I already saw that @artfulkindoforder​ is working on archiving them which I really appreciate.

Thank you for the support you’ve given me over the last few years and everything you’ve done for me. Please know that I am okay and I really want you all to be happy and have a good time here, and I hope that in the future we all get to see the kind of positive, landmark representation we were looking forward to. I wish you all the best!

-Rebs

PS: please don’t pester Liddy about where I am or messages for me, xe very kindly agreed to post this for me but xe is not my delivery person <3

In honor of Harry’s big day, I wanted to share this cute Harry story with everyone. It’s kind of long, and I’m sorry if I bore you with the detail, but the detail is what makes it interesting, IMO - so I hope you read the whole thing. 

Back in 2014 , my boyfriend, Jesse, was working as a special events media coordinator for a very large and popular venue in London. This was a cool thing because he often would get to meet the talent. He’s met a bunch of different people along the way which of course included, One Direction. 

I had just met Jesse in the early part of 2014 so we weren’t dating yet when 1D was in town. I wasn’t a 1D fan either, so when he told me about it I didn’t really care. It was only after I saw Harry on SNL later that year (I think it was December) that I actually was fuming with envy that Jesse got to meet him.  

Before the 1D show, Jesse first spotted Harry from a distance. He was walking down the hallway and peeked in to one of the dressing rooms only to see a long-limbed “skinny kid” lying on the sofa, with a woman standing over him with her hand on his forehead, as if she were gauging his temperature. Jesse didn’t know who the woman was or who the kid was (he couldn’t see because his face was turned toward the back of the couch). Anyway, the woman spotted Jesse walking by and waived at him to hold up a minute because she wanted to talk to him. She walked out of the room and shut the door behind her so she could talk to Jess in the hallway. She introduced herself (yes, you probably already guessed it was Lou Teasedale) and explained that H wasn’t feeling well and wondered if there were any blankets around, but she asked that he keep the news to himself - rather than getting someone else to find the stuff and bring it to them. Jesse, of course, was happy to provide whatever was needed (because he’s like that) and he scurried off to get it (even though this really wasn’t his job, he was happy to help and he liked the “spy stuff” about keeping it quiet).. 

When he brought the juice and blanket back to the room, Harry’s eyes flew open and he smiled, Lou introduced Harry to Jesse, except when she said his name, Harry got it wrong and thought she said Jeffrey. Harry said,  “Hi Jeffrey, thanks”.  Jesse, of course, didn’t have the heart to correct him, so he just smiled and nodded and waived and told him he hoped he’d feel better before the show. Harry gave him a thumbs up and said “thanks, you too” (LOL) and Lou smiled and hugged Jesse and thanked him, then Jesse left the room.

He assumed this was the first and only interaction he’d have with Harry, but lo and behold, it wasn’t. 

About two hours later, a completely revived Harry was bouncing around in one of the media rooms where 1D was meeting some photographers and some fans for a meet and greet type of thing. He was clearly feeling much better and had a huge cup of coffee in his hand while he was smiling and laughing and talking. 

Anyway, being that he’s Harry, he spotted “Jeffrey” across the room and walked over to him, shook his hand and thanked him again. Jesse asked him how he was doing, and Harry said he was fine he’d been struggling with hay fever but he was feeling better after  his inhaler and an hour under a humidifier mask (not sure what that is, but…ok). 

Someone  else called to Jesse from across the room, and it was only then that Harry realized he had his name wrong, that he wasn’t “Jeffrey”, he was Jesse. So Harry was embarrassed and shook his hand again and RE-INTRODUCED himself to Jesse. LOL, So they chuckled about it for a little bit and Jesse said Harry was really sweet and polite and funny. They chatted about what Jesse had done before this job and they ended up talking about a motorcycle museum that Jesse used to work at and Harry was thrilled, so they chatted about that for a little bit. 

Then Harry finally went off to do his thing and Jesse never saw him again, but I always thought it was a neat story because it just reiterates what everyone always says about Harry. He’s sweet, funny, very down to earth and easy to talk to. Jesse was impressed with him (and he doesn’t impress easily), and their interaction has been something Jesse and I talk about once in a while. He likes to use it against me, because he’s an ass-hat, but our love of Harry Styles has become one of the many things Jesse and I have in common. He even knows I have a tumblr blog about him and he isn’t disturbed by it at all.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got - thanks for reading. 

ok lmao im officially done with a significant portion of the overwatch fandom tbh??

i am tired of reading torbjorn hate.  i just am.  im tired of hearing he’s ugly, im tired of people saying he creeps women out, im tired of hearing he doesnt deserve happiness/his wife/his family/his house.

there is something really fucking evil about how many fucking people on tumblr demand “representation” and make fun of the physically disabled combat veteran and say that he should be homeless and doesnt deserve a wife or family or friends.  like, i get that we probably should have accurate representation for physically disabled combat veterans- 8% of the total us homeless population are veterans, though that number has dropped substantially (by 33% since 2010) but half of all homeless veterans are disabled.  but somehow i doubt, that this is asking for that representation and more about saying he doesnt deserve his things because he’s ugly and unliked in fandom.

its malicious.  its despicable.  

Torbjorn has dwarfism and the chronic headaches that go along with it.  im 99% certain that makes him the very first video game character to be a little person. 

tumblr has this massive problem of saying “I want representation!” but when they want it, they want it in their fucking pairings that they can “ship” and remember, from all of those shipping charts that put the little yellow circle around Torbjorn the same way they put it around winston- (Are you comparing shipping the physically disabled man with another person to bestiality or are you just upset because he’s not conventionally attractive?)

He’s close friends with mercy, with reinhardt, with ana, and from the halloween comic, probably jack and gabe too.  but in 99% of posts that talk about them he’s just left out?  like?? 

and the “creepy to women” thing, like where did that come from?  I know the voice lines you’re probably basing it off of too but i didnt ever read them as him being “creepy?”  (unless you’re saying he’s creepy because of that + his “gross” physical appearance thats attributed to his disability :) )

i always interpreted them as teasing, and several of the female characters tease back- (Mei, Ana, and satya sounds like she’s heard it before and knows he’s teasing her).  the only voice line that could be interpreted as strange would be the one with looking at d.va’s mech- but i dont think thats because its creepy, i think its because of the futuristic age they live in and how torbjorn is a world class engineer.  there’s a line between Pharah and Torbjorn where she’s showing off her raptora suit, and he has to be begrudgingly impressed by it.  its far more likely they dont want torbjorn getting his hands on the specs of d.va’s mech and she’s guarding them rather than her getting creeped out by him.

THEN THERE WAS THE MESS ABOUT PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM BEING SANTA.  like.  that was so good, so pure.  why were you complaining? because reinhardt wasn’t santa?  because 76 wasn’t santa?  bc neither of your conventionally attractive characters were santa? 

i s2g if i see one more post complaining about how only skinny, conventionally attractive white girls have gotten confirmed relationships in overwatch im going to scream because as long as there is so much rampant hatred and active dislike of the physically disabled man and his wife, that makes fun of him for being physically disabled and so often it’s by the same people who make those posts and i really just wanna reiterate this:

you’re making fun of the physically disabled man for his appearance and then going back and saying you dont want conventionally attractive people.  but you still want attractive people, but attractive in “unconventional ways”.

like, god fucking, i’m so tired.  im so tired. tea is spilt, rant has been made, if you want your stupid otp to be confirmed canon to get the “representation” you want just say it upfront.  

I’m pretty sure I’ve made a post about this before but I just want to reiterate that Naruto DEFINITELY made a speech at Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding where he was like “I just want it to be known that if I hadn’t pushed Shikamaru into the ring during the final round of the chunin exams this union never would have happened so y'all know who to thank, Naruto Uzumaki: matchmaker extraordinaire.“

anonymous asked:

idk if you do this anymore but i really love your writing and after the last run ep i'm in need of a jikook hc where jk is jm's coach (an athlete and a coach being in love isn't really a new concept for someone who's watched yoi lmao).. if you write it thank you so much and if not it's totally okay ๐Ÿ˜Š

here’s a short thing of jimin learning judo from jungkook!au !!


Jimin plops down on the mat, worn out and panting. “You’re a monster, you know that?” 

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” Jungkook snorts, crouching until they’re eye-level. “What was that move you tried to do just now? I didn’t teach you that.”

Jimin pouts. “It was nothing. It didn’t work anyway, so - ”

“No. If it were anyone else, you’d have gotten them on their back at the very least.” Jungkook’s brow ticks in realization. “Hey. You’ve been going to Hoseok for pointers again, haven’t you?”

“No. Of course I - Jungkook, no.” But quickly, as usual, Jimin’s defenses crumble in the face of Jungkook’s intense, withering stare. “Okay - maybe I did, so what?”

“Why?” Am I not good enough for you? Jungkook doeesn’t say. Jimin hears it anyway and whines.

“It’s not like that, Kook, it’s just…”

“If you wanted him to be your coach, why’d you come to me?” Jungkook mutters, sitting back on his haunches and running a frustrated hand through his hair. Jimin can’t place the exact nature of the look on his face - whether it’s irritation or jealousy, or something in between.

After too long a silence, Jungkook gets to his feet, turning to stalk off and brood like he often does, when he gets too worked up and has to take a breather before he ends up taking it out on Jimin. Or when he has too much energy to spare and needs to burn some off, alone, where no one will break and bleed under his fists. Sometimes, Jungkook doesn’t like to talk about things, preferring to punch it out.

Jimin scrambles up and latches onto his hand before he can go, palms clammy and shaky from exertion.

“I wanted to impress you,” Jimin whispers.

Jungkook stops in his tracks. He faces Jimin, large eyes widened with shock. “You - what?”

“I wanted to impress you, so I asked Hoseok-hyung to show me a flashy move. He - ” Turning bright red, Jimin sputters, “Don’t laugh, you asshole!”

Choking back the cackles, Jungkook reels Jimin in closer, blocking Jimin’s feeble attempts at smacking some sense into him through his chest. “You wanted to impress me, huh.”

“Shut up. I - I’m never telling you anything ever again,” Jimin threatens, voice wobbly as Jungkook leans down into his space. His attempt at maintaining a fair distance between them has him arching backwards, cheeks aflame.

Jungkook’s smug grin kind of makes him wish he hadn’t fucked up the throw last minute. But it’d been nice to wipe that look off Jungkook’s face even for a second. “So, what was the move he taught you?” 

“Hoseok-hyung called it a - a “dead tree drop”?”

“Hm.” Jungkook releases him abruptly. Jimin almost falls backwards and rights himself with a glare. “That’s one name for it. It’s also called the Kuchiki taoshi, or single leg takedown,” he tells him. “Show me again.”

“I - Huh?”

“Try the throw on me,” Jungkook reiterates impatiently.

“You’re just going to pin me down again if I try.”

Jungkook laughs, and the sound warms Jimin all the way to his belly. “Damn. Caught,” he snickers.

And for a moment, Jimin forgets how tired he is - how his whole body aches from head to toe. Jungkook can get so rough when they spar, Jimin often goes home with bruises on his shins and pink finger marks on his arms and back from where Jungkook had grabbed onto him. Even days later he can feel the ghost-like hold Jungkook has on him, both mentally and physically. His roommate has raised one too many eyebrows at them, wondering why Jimin keeps going back to judo when he’s not particularly invested in it in the first place. Jimin always shrugs, doesn’t have it in him to explain.

It’s not really judo that Jimin’s in love with after all, just Jeon Jungkook.

“No, but seriously, try it again. You just need to fix your posture a bit, but it was good. It was a good start, Jimin.”

As much as Jimin can’t stand Jungkook’s teasing, he can’t stand his praises even more. “It was - Thank you, but it wasn’t - I didn’t even get you,” Jimin says embarrassedly. 

“Show me again,” Jungkook prompts, the look on his face softening.

Jimin edges closer, unsure. Jungkook doesn’t budge when Jimin hesitantly bends down to take hold of his thigh. He peers up at Jungkook’s expression and swallows tightly. “Do… Do you want me to try the throw?”

Jungkook stares down at him wordlessly for several long moments. 

“What - ” Jimin barely has time to feel a sense of foreboding at the grin that stretches Jungkook’s lips before he brings his hand to Jimin’s hair, petting and ruffling his hair aggressively. Jimin straightens with an indignant squawk because - his hair - and makes a valiant effort to move the strands back to their rightful place. Then with heightened resolve, he throws himself at Jungkook in response, reaching up to enact his revenge.

Jungkook’s laughing, barely managing to keep his head out of Jimin’s reach.

“Hold still, you giant brat,” Jimin bites out. 

“Is that any way to talk to your teacher,” Jungkook chortles, but his laughter breaks off when Jimin clambers onto his back, locking his legs around his middle and proceeds to make a mess out of his hair. “You’re gonna get it, Jimin,” he growls.

Jimin hates the way his stomach flips at the warning; the way it clenches when Jungkook manages to grab hold on him, sling him over his shoulder in one smooth motion before sending them both falling down onto the mat. At the last second, he switches their position, keeping Jimin’s body cushioned above him.

“I should make you run laps for this,” he murmurs, and his voice reverberates where their chests are pressed together. Jimin can’t tell if he’s serious, but he isn’t going to risk it.

“You started it,” Jimin says breathlessly. Jungkook looks like a dream come true, hair disheveled and a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, and all of it Jimin’s doing.

“No, you did. When you went to Jung Hoseok for help instead of me.”

“Can you let it go?” Jimin whines, though the happiness that colours his tone when Jungkook wraps his arms around him to keep him still is blatant for all ears. “I already told you why I did it.”

Jungkook, with his tongue pressed against his cheek in petulance and obviously not letting it go, mutters, “Yeah, whatever. Don’t do it again. I’m your coach. You can’t go fraternizing with the enemy.”

“Competition,” Jimin corrects. “Not enemy.”

“Same thing.” 

It’s not, but Jimin knows when he’s fighting a losing battle. “Alright,” he acquiesces. “I won’t go to Hobi-hyung for help with judo.”

“’Hobi-hyung’?” Jungkook echoes. “When’d he become ‘Hobi-hyung’? His first name is Competition - ”

“Jungkook, oh my god.”

“You’re not gonna lose to him at the next tournament, you got that Jimin? He’s gonna eat your tiny little fists and - ”

Jungkookie,” Jimin says with increasing exasperation.

“You’re gonna stand up there on the podium with that gold fucking medal around your neck, and he’s gonna bask in awe as you dead tree kick everyone’s ass after I help you make it perfect - ”

Jimin can’t help the giggles that bubble up, both at the serious set of Jungkook’s brows and the competitive fire burning in his eyes. “Alright. Whatever you say.” He sits up, and Jungkook follows suit. Jimin’s on his lap now, and he tries not to notice that fact. Tries.

“Your stance was a little too high just now. You need to lower yourself more, your center of gravity, and your grip wasn’t in the right place. You need to - ”

“Slow down, you’re rambling,” Jimin says with great fondness.

Jungkook pauses for a breath. “… And - ” 

His eyes widen for the briefest moment, before they shut. Jimin doesn’t know where the sudden courage had come from, but this close to Jungkook’s face, Jimin felt brave. It doesn’t feel so out of reach when their bodies are flush together, and Jungkook’s hands are coming up to frame his cheeks, still warm from exertion. Their mouths coming together, again and again, Jungkook’s tongue sliding against his, feels just like another one of their sparring matches.

When they break apart, panting heavily, Jungkook’s got that boyish grin on his face - the one that gets Jimin’s insides all twisted into knots, every damn time without fail. “You need to work on your technique.”

“Fuck off,” Jimin complains. Then, softer, and so fucking in love with Jeon Jungkook: “You gonna show me how it’s done, golden boy?”

“It’ll be my pleasure.”

Hi so I just want to reiterate how important it is that Jin said this:

 You can have never heard of BTS or Kpop before in your life but still take something meaningful away from this message: your problems are valid and your are allowed to feel like you are having a hard time. 

It’s not very often that a celebrity will come out and try to remind you that your concerns, no matter how small they are, are still concerns to YOU and and you have every right to feel the way you feel, regardless of how many people around you tell you that they don’t matter. 

He said this after the release of the WINGS album, where all the members had solo songs about their own personal struggles, from struggles as drastic as Yoongi feeling like he had to give up music to struggles as vague as Jimin feeling like he had been lied to. We can guess that this lesson was something Jin either learned in the process of making this album or told repeatedly to the other members when they were concerned that their stories weren’t “good enough” in comparison to “real struggles”. One particular example is Jungkook, who felt like he had everything handed to him and lived an easy life and ended up writing a song about feeling helpless while watching his hyungs struggle.

Jin wanted to take his time in his new year’s greeting to remind everyone that their struggles are valid, and I wanted to make this post to remind everyone that he is a thoughtful and kind person despite his goofy and easygoing personality. I also wanted to remind everyone that your feelings and problems are valid, and that even if the whole world thinks you’re overreacting, Jin and I are behind you.

~Mandy

p.s. I got this gif from @doona-baes but if it belongs to someone else please let me know

anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me ๐Ÿ‘€

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha

INSIGHTS ABOUT HIMSELF

the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan

INSIGHTS ABOUT WORK & LIFE

i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly

INSIGHTS ABOUT PHIL & LOVE

that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)