but joan

Joan Jett in Santa Monica Pier by Brad Elterman, 1977 

taking turns ch.1

Sherlock was a consummate kisser. Several sex partners had told him as much over the years. But kissing Joan Watson made him feel like an amateur.

As he had predicted a thousand times over, physical contact with her was so similar to a drug there were times he had to leave her presence or risk lashing out in his manic ways that Watson either took for his usual energy or mistook for anger. This seldom happened during casework. It was the quiet evenings, nights, and mornings, when he knew Watson to be asleep, or when she was reading or taking care of Clyde or cleaning or cooking, when their focus was on anything but the work, that her presence latched onto his brain like a brand new stimulant he had no idea what to do with.

Their first kiss was too much for him. He could not categorize, classify, or compare the experience. Too much was behind it, and it was as if his thoughts were taking all the visual evidence of Watson’s body that he had categorized over the years and had projected it onto that almost chaste touch of their lips for the first time. They were both hesitant, so completely like teenagers but also completely not, in that they felt clumsy, but instead of frenzied, unsure passion, the passion was tightly leashed on both sides. Joan dared not initiate too much, and Sherlock was still in disbelief that she was allowing him to go forward at all.

In the end he had reached up to cup her face in his hands, at the same time trying not to touch her too much. His fingers did not grab, his hands did not pull, more he coaxed her forward with the mere motion of hands brushing either side of her face. Her eyes were still open, and so were his. It was he who submitted first and closed his eyes, milliseconds before their lips brushed.

When the kiss deepened and she made the first sigh into his mouth, Sherlock’s body froze in a way he had no idea how to react to. His body remained engaged in the kiss, but his mind had stalled. What he didn’t know was it was actually his heart and lungs freezing for the briefest milliseconds, a part of his consciousness crumbling as his reality shifted, and then shifted again.

The only thing that brought him back was Watson’s warmth and breath moving into him, and the smallest brush of her fingertips on his face. His body visibly shook—he had to pull away. Her eyes opened slowly, and a dozen feelings were exchanged in silence as they stared at each other. But for once Sherlock had nothing to say, no conclusions, no facts. All he could force his brain to pinpoint was the new softness in Watson’s dark eyes that had nothing to do with concern or empathy, but everything to do with more fragile, precious emotions he’d never had to deal with. Immediately he felt as if his mind was trying to juggle many breakable items, each one more valuable than the last, and he had no idea which belonged to him and which to Watson. Another knot had been tied between them in that moment.

waltersandmurdock  asked:

You get a lot of asks about how well written Damien is (true) but I want to take a minute to talk about Joan. She's a complex woman who must come to terms with her past mistakes (mistakes she's still making!) and their terrible consequences. Not only that, but all her personal problems are suddenly brought to light, which can't be easy for such a private and professional person. Joan has a lot of love to give but isn't sure how to give it, she's messy, she's complicated, and I love her.

Thank you so much! This is such a great message to get. At it’s core, the show is really about Joan reckoning with her past mistakes and how the choices she makes have consequences for people other than herself. She is, as you say, messy and complicated, and building her character with Julia has been an enormous joy and challenge in my life. 

Joan of Paris

I need to have a film rant. Be advised that I have not just a tolerance, but a genuine love, for 1940s melodramas. And I found a new one! Joan of Paris (1942) was reviewed by the New York Times when it came out as having a great contemporary plot (!) but somewhat clunky/old-fashioned scripting. 70+ years later, I can’t really disagree. But the cinematography is really gorgeous. And so is the cast.

Look at these two beautiful humans. Look at the way they lean into each other. *sniffles* He’s a French pilot in the RAF, now shot down and desperately trying to get himself and members of his squadron out of occupied Paris. Naturally, he goes for help to his former parish priest. She’s a devout barmaid who has learned how to recognize members of the Gestapo on sight. So they’re a) touchingly Catholic b) in serious trouble. Not-incidentally, they cross themselves like people who actually do so on a regular basis; actors not doing this is a pet peeve of mine, so I appreciated the verisimilitude. Also, they look at each other like this:

BABES. Through an awkward, Gestapo-precipitated meet-cute, she ends up protecting him. The dress is one that he buys her after she tears her old one when he spills coffee on her in the process of distracting the assassin on his tail. They’re precious. And, somewhat to my own surprise, I found their quietly passionate romance entirely credible. This is partly because they’re both super-Catholic, and treat St. Joan of Arc like a friend in the room. 

CINEMATOGRAPHY. Also, Michèle Morgan’s cheekbones. He all but wears a groove in her floor when she’s out delivering messages to the underground network. “Don’t look so worried,” she says when she gets back, and her voice only shakes a little. “If you do, I might think that you – love me. A little. Maybe.” He resolves these doubts very efficiently. They’re adorable. Also, Alan Ladd is an impetuous young pilot who likes beer:

Is it a great movie? No. Will I rewatch it? Absolutely.

Ok, but Wentworth is actually the greatest show I’ve ever watched.

Like. How many shows have three female leads who are all queer characters? I mean, look at this picture: We’ve got a queer protagonist, a lesbian villain, and a lesbian secondary heroine.

Liiiiiike. Everyone needs to get on this level. STEP UP, TV WRITERS, BECAUSE WENTWORTH IS WINNING.

i can’t imagine what she’s going through right now…..a fan did an interview with a news station just now and talked about how ariana’s mom literally pulled fans that were in the first few rows backstage along with security to get them to safety. her family and team saved fans lives tonight. absolutely nobody deserves this and i just know ariana’s taking it all to heart. she’s going to be traumatized by all of this. i feel so terrible for everybody involved i don’t even know how to begin to put it into words