but jesus this was so so good

i feel like shit and i can’t get why. not depressed more like constantly angry y y y y. my mum bought semi skimmed milk instead of soy milk and i really wanted to scream and cry because porco dio i’m in a fucking hard situation and for me, right now, this error is intolerable! because i’ve got to cope with a lot of obsessions every day! and following this fucking diet and going to the rehab it’s terribly tiring and stressing and difficult so, jesus, pay attention if u have to buy just some MILK. aaaaaaaa. i said “uhm yes but i can’t drink that milk” without any tone, she replied “maybe you can put some water in it” so i thought yes sure it’s like ages that i put water in milk to control my intake and drink a lot at the same time and it’s from the beginning of my therapy that i’m planning to stop to do that with not so many results so uhm yes such a good idea. such a good idea to tell to a bulimic girl to manipulate food. you don’t have to be a doctor to understand it’s stupid. i decided to act like a teenager and i stayed in silence then i locked myself in my room and goodbye fuck you aaall 

okay y’all so i’m gonna talk about something that happened today and i know it’s deadass gonna sound fake but i swear to fucking jesus lord up above it’s true

so in my composition class we’re doing rhetorical essays (ethos pathos logos all that shit) and we gotta pick out a speech that has all this stuff right

so i do mine on a hillary clinton speech (women rights are human rights) cause it’s got all that and it’s a good speech and there’s this girl who’s in two of my classes and she’s part of my study squad kinda

SO today we did a peer review thing of each other ss essays and i wanted to work with my friend saray, but the chick was like “zOE DO MINE” and she said it pretty loud so i was like sure yeah

so for this we gotta read out the first paragraph and then the other person says what elements were included. so i start reading mine and she deadass asks why i did clinton. and i started saying why and she got so bitchy about it like???? dude. then when i was reading the concluding sentence (yknow that one thing u use to cONCLUDE??? A PARAGRAPH???) she interrupts me and says “why did u repeat what u said before that doesn’t make sense” and i felt like i was gonna get a migraine

so then we move onto her essay and i finally realize why she didn’t like mine

she did hers on ronald reagan. and halfway into her essay she said “i didn’t do a paragraph for logos cause his speech didn’t have any in it” hONEY ITS A FUCKING PRESIDENTAL SPEECH HOW CAN THERE BE NO LOGOS so she fucking deadass gets the prof over cause she doesn’t know what to do. she looks him straight in the eye and says there’s no logos in her speech

my prof looks at her, then looks at me and i shrug

and then he finds out it’s about reagan and he loOKS AT ME AGAIN. I SHRUG AGAIN. ITS A CYCLE

and on aNOTHER NOTE she tried to convince me she got a higher grade on another assignment when i saw she did fucking terrible like smh

tldr; english is fun

if you don’t think i constantly have older paladins and scruffy-faced hunk on my mind ur dead wrong….. too bad keith has an incurable baby face and his shorter hair doesn’t help a single goshdarned bit 

Outlast 2 Jacksepticeye series in a nutshell:

Run!

JESUS! My mortal enemy!

Eww!

Where do I go?

What is that big white light?

F*** you!

F***ing Jesus Christ!

This is f***ed up!

Come on!

Why?! Why?! I’m a good boy! I got to bed on time! I pay my taxes!

Batteries!

I’m so sorry dudes…

This game is going to shorten my life.

Shrek! I’m looking down!

The imagery is amazing.

That is so creepy!

I’m going to look around because I want to find secrets.

This game is so dark!

Kind of disappointed…

Where am I?

Awesome!

Jessica?

So much running! So much hiding!

Needs better pacing.

Not more gospels…

Jack want out!

WHAT THE PHUCK?!

PHUCK YOU!

AHHHHHHHHHH!

What we fill ourselves up with really matters. I used to fill myself up with worldly things, and I was depressed and suicidal and it was just such a bad time, but then I started reading Scripture. And now I’m filling myself up with Him and His Word and my whole outlook is so different. I’m less anxious, less depressed, and just filled with joy and love.

I’m not saying that I still don’t have days where the enemy attacks, where I’m so anxious I feel like I can’t breathe, where thoughts of harming myself pop up in my mind. I am saying, though, that with Him? With filling myself up with Him and His Word and praising Him and loving Him and others? It is so much easier to get through those days. It is so much easier to say see ya to the devil. 

So. My question for you today: What are you filling yourself up with?

Why I Quit German

WARNINGS: This story is really gross and/or horrifying but also hilarious imho.  Your health always comes first, so mind the tags:  Violence, Cannibalism Mention, Suicidal Ideation, Feces, Sleep Deprivation, Airplanes, I generally had a really bad time but now it’s hysterical.  Most of the story is under the cut because it’s eight miles long.


In August of 2009 I flew back to Honolulu to do my sophomore year of college with the intention of entering 400-level german. What happened instead is the closest I’ve ever come to personally dying or actually murdering someone.

The problem started the day before my flight, when I attended a birthday party for a very dear cousin in Denver, and due to be in 1 of 2 adults present, ended up driving a bunch of teenagers home and didn’t get home until 12:30 that night.  Oh well, my flight’s at 6AM anyway, I’ll just stay up. I can sleep on the plane, I thought, like a complete fucking fool.

Keep reading