“Um, she didn’t scan my coupon.”
This has happened seven times today. A customer comes up with either a helium tank or a gallon of glue and a receipt and an attitude and claims that the cashier didn’t scan her coupon.
“I believe that item is exempt from coupons, ma’am. It’s part of our Everyday Value promotion. We’ve lowered the price as much as we can so that you don’t have to use a coupon to get a decent price on it. The trade-off is that we can’t use coupons on it.”
This has been going on since Christmas of this past year. We figured out which items people were abusing coupons on and we reduced the price so that we can reach a middle ground between giving people a good deal and staying in business.
Despite it being active for months, it is only now becoming a Problem.
“Bullshit,” she says. “I’ve used coupons on this before.”
“When was that?”
“Just last week.”
The helium tanks have been uncouponable since February.
“And… what was the price then?”
“The same as it is now. $45.”
“It’s… been $25 here for about three months.”
“No it hasn’t.”
“How much did we charge you?”
“$45, aren’t you listening?”
“…your receipt says $25.”
People don’t like it when you tell them that they’re wrong.
“You still won’t let me use a coupon on it.”
“You’re saving money without the coupon. Normally, it would be twice the price.”
“But you still won’t let me use a coupon on it. Even though its regular price.”
“We’ve reduced the price so that you don’t have to use a coupon on it to get a good deal.”
“But its regular price.”
“It is ineligible for coupons.”
“This was for a memorial service. For an aborted child. I hope you’re happy to be screwing over dead babies.”
I, for one, am super-pleased to disappoint the spectral forms of aborted fetuses. I can’t imagine all that helium is good for their ghosts.