but it;s beautiful

2

I hate you. You lied to me. I was a kid. You promised you’d keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad’s life, but I’ll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2nd, 1983, old yellow eyes came waltzing in to Sammy’s room, because of your deal. You left us. Alone. Because Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect mom, the perfect family… was gone. And I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn’t fair. And I couldn’t do it. And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you. I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. Because I can’t help it. You’re my mom. And I understand because I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything. On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you… I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

4

twelve days of twelve – day six: twelve’s hair
“My hair is a nightmare. My hair is visible from space.  It does what it wants…I just let it go, really.” - Peter Capaldi