but it's so funny tho

Wait, what?

(based on this) (look, there’s a part two)


Yuuri barely has time to grab his jacket when he runs out the door, much less brush his hair or find a hat. Unfortunately, he’s sure that that means that his hair is an absolute mess. It’s been getting long again, but in between classes and helping Yura out with his routine on the weekends, he hasn’t had much time for things like haircuts. Besides, Victor doesn’t seem to mind it, and Yura likes to experiment hairstyles on Yuuri “so that if it looks stupid, I don’t have to see it on myself.”

It’s not that big a deal, except on days like this, when he sleeps in (thanks a lot Vitya) and doesn’t have the time to really get it under control. He usually meets up with his friends before class, and he doesn’t doubt that they’ll notice, and probably tease him about it.

They notice.

“Yuuri!” Estephania gasps, sounding too scandalized for her words to be anything but teasing. “What on earth happened to your hair?”

Yuuri flushes. “I was running late,” he mumbles.

Richard snorts. “You sure? Because that looks more like sex hair to me, man.”

“Ooh, he’s right,” Estephania coos before Yuuri can protest.

He wonders if it’s possible to die of embarrassment (especially since they’re not entirely wrong). “No, really I–”

“We know, sweetie.” She reaches up and moves his hair around a bit, trying to make it look presentable. “You’re just too easy to tease.”

“You sure you’re really twenty seven?” Richard raises an eyebrow.

Yuuri just smiles at the ground in fond humiliation (apparently it’s not a common emotion, but it’s a little hard not to be used to the feeling when he’s married to the world’s biggest drama queen) and nods. “I am.”

His friends are too much sometimes, he admits. Richard is the embodiment of America in a lot of ways: loud, completely lacking a sense of social norms, a walking personification of testosterone. Estephania is less… everything… than Richard, but she’s very touchy and affectionate in an entirely platonic way that reminds Yuuri a lot of Christophe, only without all of the innuendo. But they’re both loyal down to their very core, and they’re not bad people.

His phone starts ringing, Stammi Vicino playing loudly. Yuuri picks up, keeping his phone away from Estephania’s hands. “Да, Vitya?”

“Dude! You speak Russian too?” Richard looks like Yuuri just smacked him in the face. The school year just started, so they’re all still learning about each other.

Yuuri just smiles, since Victor is in the middle of one of his usual mid-morning crises. “Vitya, calm down,” he says in Russian. “Makkachin is probably out with Yura. You know he takes her for walks sometimes. Have you seen him today?”

He manages to get Victor off the phone just before class starts, flipping his phone to airplane mode since he’s sure that this isn’t the last he’ll be hearing from his lovable trainwreck of a husband.



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A list of quotes my band director has said

This martini isn’t dirty enough

We need a stronger bottom

Think of the ding dong, I need a lot of ding dong

Have your parents pick you up at 9:010

I want it tasty

Yeah I’m not liking the uterus either

I want you guys to learn beef

Judd: The band is only as good as the weakest link.
Anthony: Fuck we’re gonna lose

Don’t try not to lose time

How can I breathe without no air

I changed my mind, I’m not changing my mind

We got six on the bottom and five on top.

Play an A# instead of an B-flat

Try not to sound like a duck

You fracked your climactic one note of glory

Mikey, stop being pointy

Ziggy, stop hugging Malakai

You can’t frack and never return

If you’re not making Juddy proud, you’re wrong

Stop being an ice cream truck

The leaning tower of Luke Choi

You can all take a breath together after your ding dong

Add a curvy linear

Try not to have a bulge in the front

You need to have a strong d

You’re teasing me melodically

It’s getting a little tight in Darren land

The ding dong is being lost

Ziggy and Daniel are joining the ding dong

Your higher note on the ding dong has even more stress

The ding dong was well projected

I don’t hear enough of the dong

Now we know where we are at. THANK GOD

It needs to be the creepiest 3 blind mice you’ve ever heard

It’s just not big enough

Just grab me, it is destiny

Add weight, like my stomach

Finger the air

Jesus that sounds like cattle

We are not playing Frogger with our instruments

Yo, what’s with that gangster hat

We’re Swiss cheese in the clarinet block

There’s just too much body language, and I don’t appreciate it

If that amp was your mother, she would be proud

It sounds so much better when we don’t breathe

Even though I changed the music, I really haven’t changed the music

You need to have confidence on those bitches

Breathe through 8 counts without taking a breath

Are you a G?

Dylan, you’re an ass

You need to have laser eyes on Lexi

We have to be more smart at rehearsal

I’m a Facebook like Nazi

Dylan, sound like Mickey Mouse

Barisoon

Will’s on fire, somebody put him out

Is there a way to pause without pausing it

I’m literally turning into a parrot

I want Kaitlin on top and everyone else under her

More trumpets, more sex

Hey there J-dog(Justin)

This is Amish paradise

WOAH PIANO

You need to listen for Lexi’s cut-off

Stop yabbadabbading

You’re not good

French horns, don’t put your hand in the bell

I’m hearing wrong fingers

Turn on a new hat

Finger with me

Play it as written, nice and long

Please stop touching each other

You’re the Toungey McToungerson I’ve been hearing the whole time

Just pull it out

You’re not matching the windses dynamics

There’s 2 counts of horse

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is, oh look at that, lunch detention! Congratulations Nikko, Donovan, and Nathan!

Oooo, that was a big one

A bunch of you guys need to be the icing on the cake

*plays invisible banjo passionately*

*sings* IN HIS PANTSSSS

Here’s my time for glory

Imagine you’re in an algebra class, taking a test on trigonometry

Sing your finger one two ready go

I just wanna touch it

*stops band* Jesus, guys

Start at number C

You can play those notes more fuller

You sound like an elementary band learning how to play mallets for the first time

Oh Jesus

Never blink

Jesus, try again

I changed my mind, I haven’t changed my mind

It did got better

Lower my thing

You’re talking into the horn

Play the ding bum

I know you wanna shake it

Hey guys can we get rid of that chair? No chair left behind

Pull out more, more than the D would normally take

We learned how to use our tongues today. You do 16th notes until you are happy

The good ol’ sleight of glove

SUCK IN YOUR DIAPHRAGM MARGARET
MARGARET THIS IS FOR YOU

Take Nikko’s stick and hit it right on the downbeat

I have a guide to fingering and tonguing

That’s enough men for 2 months

Mrs. Mocha and myself might get a little excited

We can’t waste any time (plays G minor as a round twice)

You are a ninja

No girly birds!!!!!!!!

Shake this as you’re doing the wawa

I don’t hear no wawawa

Thunder where are you

Get your life together!

Jacob, you’re nothing

Be smart

I have other beaters in my office

YOU ARE DIFFERENT

You come when it’s time

There’s a lot of ding dongs, I feel like hostess

F all

Speak now or forever hold your run through

Play good

I’m honking my horn, get out of my way

Blend to the beef

Someone strike a D

I AM NOT RELAXED

The hunchback of Notre Justin

Don’t think of a snare, think of an instrument

Oh hello! What’s for dinner? COMPOUND TIME

I feel like I should rent a babysitter and put you in a play pen

Get better

We’re not in a smoking club here saying *cough cough cough* I’ve been doing this for 20 years, like there are like 5 band kids that need cough drops

Right now, you’re playing like a drunken sailor ballerina

*sings* be dahh boo dahhh DINNER TIME

It’s hard for Ryan because he has the runs

It sounds emotional, but it’s the wrong emotion

CUT, wow that’s a mess

Margaret you sound like the recorder version of Titanic on YouTube

You want candy, I want notes

Make it more shapey

FLINGER FLINGER FLINGER. I say FLINGER because it’s not quite there. It’s like you’re playing with octopus hands. Tentacles

This is the sound of not music

We are under the sea

Put your hand on your finger

How to tame your dragon

Right now, you’re a nike check mark

I feel like I’m feeding bread to a duck

We have a lot of articulation problems in the goat heard

*screams* I’M SO MYSTERIOUS

It’s so bad, I feel like I’m on American Airline

Sound like a butterfly. FLY AWAY TUCKER, FLY AWAY

We’re not going to the zoo trombones, no butterflies today

Ba be ba da FORTSZANDO Ba be ba da AAHHH

WOAH! Wait that wasn’t Kaitlin, liar

Oh so you do have it on your stand. Hm. Two liars today *squinches eyes*

BEEEEOOOWEEE

I want to hear a C, not an AAAAAAAA

Your guys’ bad phrasing gave him a bloody nose

Stop looking at me with your glossed over eyes

Why not, HA you thought

Here comes the Dylan!

Ding dong ding dong, don’t be a ding dong

I don’t want to expose everyone right now, but it has to be done

YELL AT ME STEPHANIE. LIKE ALL OF THE ANGER I’VE SAID

I guess I don’t yell enough

There’s limited times when we do that, like the McRib

It sounds like you’re in the bathroom

Don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Clarinet

This is like a daycare or something

It sounds like dinner time

Guys it sounds dorky

*turns to clarinets* bitch

I’ve always wanted to adopt Tucker

Light beer is like pee

Wow Hector, you’re like Jenni Craig

I was a lethal weapon

You have a secret affection for your clarinet

Figure out your life

It makes us sound like the asthma band

I like to think maybe Robbie has some strength to his frame from messing around with so many metal parts and dragging around giant canons and everything else he does that in a moment of emergency he just picks up Sportakook (bridal or over his shoulder, either way) and runs for dear life instead of Sportanerd grabbing him and everyone is confused and Sportacute is flustered because no one has carried him since he was a young babe and Robbie is confused as of why Sportaflop is so red and– yea… but

We need more Stronger-than-we-thought-he-was Robbie Rotten

8

top fifteen rucas episodes (as voted by my followers) ☼ number fourteen 

girl meets game night (1x17) 

anonymous asked:

I will seductively lie next to you on your couch and aggressively whisper figure skating terms into your ears

It’s a common proverb, to think before one speaks.

(Perhaps Yuuri’s issue is that he speaks, then thinks.)

“Please forget that I said that,” he begs Victor, burying his face in his hands in a desperate attempt to keep his coach from seeing his flushed cheeks. “That was… It made sense in my head, I didn’t mean it… Um, I didn’t mean it like you think that I meant it.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Victor promises. “I’ve been told that before, you know. Plenty of times.”

Yuuri peers at him between his fingers. “You have?”

“No,” he admits, then chuckles. “At least, not so directly.”

If Yuuri could shrink, could disappear, then he would. He considers making a beeline for the door, but that might only worsen the situation, so he stays where he is, hopes that Victor will drop the subject.

Victor puts a hand on his shoulder and the touch is so unexpected that Yuuri jumps, but doesn’t move away, meeting his eyes and searching desperately for any sign of mercy. He knows by now, though, that Victor seems to have a selective memory, and that he’ll never forget this. “I’m flattered, though. That you think my accent is so sexy.

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