One time in grade school, I was sitting around minding my own business, when some other kid walked up to me. I don’t remember anything about this kid– name, gender, anything. I only remember what happened next.
The kid said, “I won a pig.”
I didn’t have any context for this. I didn’t know this kid, and our school was in the city. It’s not like there were any contests going around where the prize was a pig. Not that I knew of, anyway. And if there were, why would it be any of my business? My mind didn’t really know what to do with this information.
So my mind did what it always does when it can’t think of anything else to do. It made a really pitifully horrible pun.
I said, “I TWO a pig.”
And the other kid went along with this, and said, “I three a pig.”
And we kept going, four a pig, five a pig, and so on–
–all the way until the other kid says “I seven a pig,” and I answer, “I eight a pig.”
And then I realize this was all a setup– one of those elaborate grade school jokes where you try to get someone to say something rude or embarrassing like “liquor and rubber buns” or “ICUP.” Yeah, very funny. I ate a pig.
And it wasn’t till years later that I realized how much of a leap of faith this kid took. They walked up to me with NO context and said “I won a pig,” just TRUSTING that I would carry the joke all the way to its natural conclusion.
Did they somehow know my pun-obsessed mind well enough to predict that I would make that specific pun on “won” and “one”? Even though I didn’t have any idea who they were?
Or did they actually forget that you’re supposed to explain the rules of the joke first (“okay, you repeat what I said, but with the next number!”) and did they just happen to get incredibly lucky?
Or maybe they actually freaking won a pig, and were just trying to tell me about it, and
when I made a pun they just decided to run with it, and it was sheer coincidence that it just accidentally turned into a joke.
I want to find this kid, someday, and ask what the crap was going on. Too bad I have no idea who they were.