but it's hott

buggypumpkin  asked:

Arizona Tea Can kink 👀 (would that be considered a size difference?)

JDNCKD BUGGY yes i have an arizona tea can kink i *hanzo voice* find its size most erotic

Honestly thats an allusion to Saint Cowboy pwease read it if u have the chance its hott

BUT YEAH SIZE IS A KINK Oh god you dont even know

Wacky Wizarding Wand Tutorial

So, some of you asked for a step-by-step of my wands, with pictures. I was hesitant at first, because the wands look terrible right up until the very last bit - but I figure, hey - the more people making amazing wands, the better. Makes me seem less weird if other people are doing it - amiright? Also,I didn’t use spell check, my bad!

Got that stuff? ….. I’ll wait. Just keep scrolling once you’re ready!

Woah man, I am allready so far ahead of you. Come on!
Top gem is optional - but if you want one, start with that. All sorts of things can be wand toppers. I once butchered an expensive chandelier to get a single, medium, tear-drop shaped piece of glass that I liked. Use a marble. Use a weird coin. I find a lot of good toppers at dollar stores, for super cheap. Anyways - hot glue that in place, and build up around it with more layers.

This part is important for even the non-gemmers (why are you even here, seriously…. get fancy). SO: the top of the wand is the largest part. You want your wand to end up shaped like an elongated carrot. Yeah, you read that right. Be careful with the glue - its damn hott. One little girl at a festival assumed I was attacked by a dragon while collecting wand supplies - because my hands were so blistered and shiny. Glue guns are serious business.

After you squeeze and plap the glue from the gun, onto the stick - it resembles molten lava. So slowly spin and move around the chopstick in your hand, so that it doesn’t just run everywhere and create new islands on your flesh.When you notice the glue stop moving and attempting to drip - or you can see it start to change from translucent to white - dip your fingers in water, shake them of, and than very lightly run the wand on your fingers. NOW MAD DASH PICK UP THAT PENCIL I MENTIONED. You have the pencil right? WHAT?! THE PENCIL IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART - IT WAS LITERALLY SPECIFIED IN MY SECOND SLIDE UP THERE. Is that your long lost fathers pencil, the last thing he gave you before vanishing into the fog, never to be seen again? Wow - that’s really dramatic,  you should write a book but also - DO NOT USE THAT PENCIL. It’s about to get covered in glue, lunatic!

Or in theory you should. I don’t actually know I come from a long line of crafters. My grandma owned a craft shop. I worked there for years as a child - because my family also has a long history of ignoring child labor laws.But I digress; I’ve been painting and sculpting things to look like wood since before I could wipe my own hiney….. I have zero information on how long it’s going to take you to get the technique down. You bought a whole pack of chop sticks, right?

You’ll notice as you pull the pencil through, you drag some glue with you - this is cool. Some of my favorite wands are the super swirly ones. I find that making wood patterns helps if you also make sound effects, like ‘woooo OOOOoooooo aaaaaaahhhhhHHHHHHWwwooooooooo’ - I am sure you know exactly what I mean.

Personally, I always figured that the wands in HP were plain wood because the ministry of magic outlawed fun. I mean - here’s this amazing stick that you bond with for life, and it’s just a stick? Nah wizbro - nah. The wand reflects your personality - and unless you are a stick in the mud, throw some pizazz in there! Put on that ritz! Trip the light fantago! (?). Whatever. Make it nice. Make it you. This is a permanent accessory for a wizard - so you know, dress it up. Doesn’t even have to be beads. I once rolled a chopstick (covered in hot glue) in a patch of moss….. just to see what it would look like. Looked earthy. Sold it for 10$.I sometimes use string and twine - why? Because I can. I once covered a glitter from top to bottom in wand! Wait…. whatever….

Seriously, don’t panic. You’ll be using three colors. Your base should be a mid-tone. The picture up there looks darker than it was. Don’t judge me.Anyways - shlap that on. Depending on the quality of the glue you purchased, you might have to do multiple coats - not all paint likes to stick to all glue. So, either pony up for expensive supplies, or deal with the extra work. It’s cathartic anyhow. It doesn’t even have to be wood colored. I once made a wand that looked like a sunset. I make lots of blue, water looking wands. I have a wand called Mitus Touched Me - that’s pure pink. Nah, it’s gold - I am just messing with you.

RIGHT. So if you didn’t horrendously mess up the glue part - look closely at your wand and you will notice that it’s bumpy as all heck. Immagine it as a landscape - and then paint the rivers and valleys BLACK!!! Or, whatever color is roughly 3 shades darker than your base color. Immediately blend that out with a dry paintbrush. What do you mean ‘how do blend?;- I know you watch those contouring videos on youtube. It’s like your face - apply, blend, repeat. Your brush should be so dry, that the act of blending nearly dry’s the paint. Right?It should be drier than a nuns hat thing on a hot day when it’s not raining.

No, it doesn’t look like wood yet. Please don’t have a panic attack - I can’t be responsible for that. Like, emotionally. Or legally. Don’t sue me.

Unless you did it wrong than I don’t know what to tell you. You probably have to paint the whole thing in your base color and try again. That’s another half hour of your life wasted on this stuff. Do you really need a wand that badly? I sell them for like 10$ - how much is your time worth, REALLY?!

MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

It’s just a good idea all around, okay?

Now just do that 174 times, and you’ll be as good as me! I mean, I have invested hundreds of dollars into this hobby…. not including the cost of vendor booths at festivals and fairs all summer….. and I technically only charge enough to cover the cost of supplies plus like, 4$ an hour for my time. I mean, if I were actually charging what these cost to make at minimum wage, they’d be a minimum of 25$ each - and since my target market is 11 year olds who saved up their allowance….. I don’t think that price would fly!


I mean….

This is what I do for fun…..

move further, and further, in the descent of madness….

Hope you enjoyed my tutorial! If you craft a wacky wizarding wand,  submit some pictures and I’ll post them! <3 Thanks folks!

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your Eid outfit! But seriously, girl. How can you stand wearing something that covers everything?? Its HOTT! Lol, but I do love it tho! :) - An aussie muslim

Thank you! <3 As a hijabi of 5 years alhumdulillah, the heat doesn’t get to me :)

anonymous asked:

im visiting London as well,Im from America but its really hott here like , its awful .

AMERICAN’S READ THIS AND SEE IT IS A DIFFERENT HEAT