A/N: I don’t know what the hell this is – basically, I have a tendency to imagine Captain Swan’s first time as being super romantic and intense, but then I remembered that the best sex can be a bit awkward but gets even better if you can laugh about it. So this happened.
They could be so intense sometimes that she’d forget who exactly she was dating. He was a pirate, after all.
Desperate, argument-ending kisses and heartfelt “Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you”s had clouded her judgment, to be fair. She didn’t think she was too out-of-line to suspect that he’d be one of those guys who never broke eye contact during sex and told her he loved her as he came down.
And in the end she was right on both counts, but what she hadn’t prepared for was how utterly, visibly, unashamedly delighted he was to have her in his (well, her) bed. Sex was both serious business and absolutely not to be taken seriously, and he switched so quickly between the two that it gave her whiplash.
It started simply enough, him sneaking into her chambers after that remarkable day of horseback riding through the fields of Camelot. Too many prying eyes (her parents, dear God) had prevented him from giving her a proper goodnight kiss, and she was eager to recapture the easy, languid feeling they’d enjoyed in those fields of flowers.
But then she’d started pushing his coat over his shoulders and he was wrapping his hand around the small of her back and pulling her against his hips, and she could hardly breathe as they devoured each other’s lips, and the whole thing felt like a movie rather than her own experience.
And then she started struggling with the clasps of his vest, and it all fell apart.
The hooks were tiny, and the vest was so goddamned tight (she never thought she’d complain about something like that, but she wanted it off him and she wanted it off now), and she resorted to telling Killian to hold his breath just so she could get enough slack to undo the goddamned things.
And it would have worked, too, if his chest wasn’t shaking with barely-restrained laughter as she fought with the clasps.
“I’m not.” His eyes danced with barely-concealed mirth.
“Seriously, stop! I need to – “
He cut off her words with a lilting kiss, his hand gently easing hers aside as he deftly released each clasp on his vest with the skill of a man with – well, centuries of practice.
His jacket and shirt went easily enough, but her dress posed its own set of challenges.
She cringed as she heard stitches ripping when Killian helped her slip the garment over her head – it was Camelot’s own damn fault for not inventing zippers, as far as she was concerned. She was left standing in front of a shirtless Killian in nothing but a chemise and a front-laced corset.
She thought it would sexy to have him unlace her, but it took so goddamned long that she couldn’t help but roll her eyes halfway through.
“Is something funny, love?” he asked, pressing his forehead to hers as he slowly removed the laces, giving her more room to breathe but tightening her chest all the same.
She grinned against his lips. “Just wishing I could get naked faster.”
He chuckled. “Not every realm is so thoughtful in their choice of undergarments.”
“What, there aren’t thongs and bras in the Enchanted Forest?”
“What the bloody hell is a thong, love?”
He looked so adorably confused that she couldn’t stop herself from bursting out laughing. She was half-dressed in the chambers of her bedroom in fucking Camelot and her honest-to-God pirate boyfriend doesn’t know what a thong is and she’ll have to explain it to him, and holy shit how did her life get so ridiculous?
Her goofy, giddy feeling didn’t subside, even as he guided her to sit on the bed and tried to remove her boots. His grin nearly split his face now that she was finally bare to him, and she couldn’t help but giggle at his expression, the feeling so contagious he couldn’t help but look at her with anything other than unrestrained happiness.
“What’s so funny?”
She grabbed the sides of his face, a tease rather than a proclamation. “Nothing. I’m just…”
He surged up and swallowed her words with his lips, starting strong but pulling back so quickly that she chased the feel of his lips on her own for a brief moment before she remembered herself.
He raised one infuriating eyebrow. “I understand, love.”
He did not shut up, which worked out well, as neither of them were able to contain themselves when he had to throw his entire body weight into yanking off her boots. She only stopped teasing him about it when he slid into her, a wicked grin on his face.
Even then, they couldn’t stop laughing, the sheer giddy joy overwhelming even the most basic of instincts.