1. Have a drink from your favourite cup/mug. Coffee. Tea. Hell, even plain water is nicer when it’s in your fave mug (and you’re probably dehydrated rn so get on that). Allow yourself the couple of minutes to drink it in entirety.
2. Visit the library. Seriously. Nothing says quiet me time like the quiet couches and a novel in a library.
3. Look up some topics on iTunes U and read up on them. You’ll feel accomplished when you learn about a new scholarly topic.
4. Check over your resumé. Anything need to be updated or polished? Do that now, it can come in handy if an opportunity comes knocking.
5. Call a beloved family member or close friend. I just called my aunt for the first time in a little while and honestly you feel a lot lighter and a lot warmer.
6. Listen to ASMR, Binaural Beats, or guided meditation. There’s ASMR and meditation videos on youtube for pretty much any need– general relaxation, reassurance, mock spa days…
7. Volunteer at the local animal shelter. Volunteering is proven to make you feel better about yourself, petting animals helps lower your blood pressure, and nothing compares to the love and gratitude from a dog or cat.
8. Randomly browse Wikipedia or WikiHow. Clicking the random article is always an adventure– probably a laughable one, but you might learn something new.
9. Clean out your closet. It’ll feel like a lot of weight is off your shoulders, and you can sell or donate pieces that are still in good shape.
10. Write out a list of things you like about yourself. It can be tricky at first, but write down whatever comes to mind, even though it may seem trivial. Put the list away for times when you are being too hard on yourself, or need some self love.
11. Movie night. Obviously. Netflix, Hulu, library… A lot of thrift and secondhand stores often have really cheap DVDs. Re-watch your faves, allow yourself a guilty pleasure, or choose something that looks laughably awful.
12. Have a bonfire. Check your local fire codes beforehand, first. A bonfire or a fire pit is extremely soothing, especially wrapped up in a blanket.
13. Meal Plan/Prep. You’re probably going to be cooking anyway, so setting aside a day or half a day to prep meals ahead of time helps free the rest of your schedule.
14. At-Home spa day. Wash your hair. Trim your nails. Soak your feet. Exfoliate.
15. Write letters. Especially to your grandparents if you’re emotionally close– it will make them feel really loved.
16. Sleep in or nap. No explanation needed.
17. Bake cookies or make eggless cookie dough. One serving of edible cookie dough uses only spoonfuls of ingredients you probably have at home.
18. Wash your pillowcases and linens. This is especially good if you’re like me and the depression is real. Washing sheets gets neglected but the feeling of fresh sheets makes everything suck a little bit less.
19. Forgive yourself. Acknowledge that past mistake that’s been eating you alive and accept the fact that you can’t change the past. You’re still growing, still learning.
20. Keep a happiness journal. Before bed, write three things that made you smile that day. Life won’t seem all that bad, and it’s a good way to de-stress.
21. Shamelessly sing and dance along to music you enjoy. That song you would TOTALLY kill on lip sync battle? Own it.
22. If you like makeup/skincare, go to your local sephora or drugstore that has a beauty section. Sephora does free mini makeovers if it’s not busy. At the drugstore makeup counter, ask the beauty questions that you’ve wanted answers to.
23. Remember to say “no.” Declining to do a favour or go on an outing you can’t currently justify or afford does not make you a bad person. It means you have boundaries and deserve respect.
24. Watch some game shows. Lots of channels have them, and there’s plenty of compilations on youtube.
25. Let it out in writing. Sometimes having it all out in black and white can make solutions easier to realize.
I believe in you all! Remind yourself that you’re a good person, and a bad bitch 💕
Even though I have a blog about BPD, a lot of people have a lot of doubts about it (about the symptoms, terms, etc). So here is a post about BPD and, please, if you are neurotypical don’t comment “wow I have it” just because you read my post.
Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed when there is a persistent pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships, mood and self-image, as well as distinct impulsive behaviour, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. These difficulties are indicated by five (or more) of the following:
frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). This does not include suicidal or self-harming behaviour.
recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood - intense feelings that can last from a few hours to a few days.
chronic feelings of emptiness.
inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.
transient, stress-related paranoid ideas or severe dissociative symptoms.
What is FP?
FP means, for someone who has BPD, favorite person. It is a term that refers to the person you most idealize, usually it is someone you have romantic feelings for, but it can be a friend, fictional character, someone in your family, etc. Not everyone who has BPD has a FP, but it is something common. Having a FP is not something beautiful and shouldn’t be romantized, your mood starts depending on that person, on the way they talk to you, you have a lot of mental breakdowns when they’re gone and it’s something that puts you in risk, because you’re willing to do basically anything for that person.
What is “split”?
Splitting is the action of feeling extremely angry at someone who you usually idealize, for example, your fp (but it doesn’t have to be necessarily your fp). Someone who suffers from BPD usually has black and white thinking or feeling, loving or hating someone, doing something all the time or not at all, basically no harlf term. When someone splits, it means that they were from a extreme to another about their feelings to someone. It can happen for big and important reasons, when someone actually does a serious mistake or it can happen when someone does a “small” mistake and we react extremely, due to BPD hypersensitivity.
What is dissociation?
That’s what Wikipedia says: “In psychology, dissociation is any of a wide array of experiences from mild detachment from immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from physical and emotional experience. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality, rather than a loss of reality as in psychosis.”. Dissociation is the match of despersonalization (“Depersonalization can consist of a detachment within the self regarding one’s mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience. Chronic depersonalization refers to depersonalization-derealization disorder, which is classified by the DSM-5 as a dissociative disorder.”) and derealization (“Derealization is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one’s environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional colouring, and depth. It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions.”). Basically, it is feeling like YOU are not real + the WORLD is not real. Okay, I’m not sure about what I’m going to say now, please someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that there a lot of dissociative disorders, but in BPD people usually suffer just from dissociative symptoms.
Self-harm is when you intentionally hurt yourself. Okay, but why? Some people self-harm to relief the pain, a lot of people with BPD also relate they self-harm to feel real during dissociative episodes or to feel something when the emptiness sensations are acting out. For some people, self-harm is when you hurt your body tissue, for example, cutting or scratching yourself, but, personally, in my opinion, thre are different ways or expressing self-harm before it becomes something extreme, for example, starving yourself, triggering yourself, doing something you don’t want to just because you “deserve it”, etc.
“People with BPD are always abusive.”
That’s absolutely not true. A lot of websites make articles about BPD and, because of a lack of information, they mention we are abusive and things like that. The truth is that no one is automatically abusive JUST because their mental illnesses. Abuse is something related to someone’s behavior, regardless if they’re mentally ill or not. “Okay, so why a lot of people say BPD makes someone abusive?” Maybe it’s because PDs are not a very discussed topic and people are always afraid of the unkown, so it’s better if they just judge us. Also, maybe because people with BPD are often seen as “attention seekers”, which is not something bad, in my opinion, because everyone should receive enough attention, since they’re not using bad mechanisms to get it.
About some other symptoms
Mood swings happen when someone goes to an emotion to another. For someone who has BPD, it happens a lot of times during the day. For example, if you got a friend and they have BPD they can talk about suicide and how hopeless they feel and a few hours or minutes later they can talk about future plans and how excited they are about things. It impacts our affective instability too, so sometimes we get lost thinking if we like someone or not. We can easily “get tired” of someone and then becoming totally dependent on them after some time. Our instability also impacts our sense of self, sometimes it makes us question even if we are real (going back to the dissociation aspect). That’s why is so hard for us to do things like choosing a career, because today I can feel like becoming an actress and then tomorrow I want to be a doctor. Our decisions and moods are constantly changing.Our fear of abandonment controls our lives, we can do things that we don’t even want to just to have someone by our sides. Also, some people with BPD can get too clingy or too distant to someone they love, clingy to avoid the abandonment and distant because of a “leave them before they leave me” thought. That’s why our relationships are very unstable.Compulsion and impulsivity is a form of expressing our confused feelings, like if we need something to rely on. We can drink too much, eat too much, waste too much money, etc. It can happens for a lot of reasons, for example, to fill the feelings of emptiness or to avoid a breakdown, specially when someone leaves.
Quiet and explosive borderlines
Explosive borderline is someone who is the “classical” borderline. They will act out, they may yell at people, they may get involved in fights and etc. Someone who is a quiet borderline will act in, holding their pain agaisnt themselves, for example, with the self-harm. They may not usually yell at people or get involved in fights, but, instead, they will do terrible things with themselves. There is not a “worse or better type of borderline”, they’re just different types. We all suffer a lot.
Sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct. English is not my native language. I hope it was a helpful post for some help here on tumblr. Stay strong, borderline community!
Q1. Your dream job when you were a child? A badminton player when I was in elementary school. After that my parents bought me a computer so I got into gaming and wanted to do a job about gaming.
Q2. How did the members celebrate your birthday in 2017? We were all practicing singing and dancing and the lights suddenly went off, then the door was opened and Jimin-san and V-san came in holding a cake.
Q3. When do you feel like you have become an adult! I turned 20 in Japanese age in September! But actually I’m still a kid at heart, so truthfully I don’t really feel like I have become an adult.
Q4. In which moment do you feel like you’re still a kid? For example, when I watch and think about a video or an interview. When I read people’s comments, I feel like even with the same question, they think from a much bigger point of view than me. That’s when I feel like maybe I’m still lacking in depth.
Q5. A work that touched you recently? “Love, Rosie”. It made me touched because it’s a sweet but sad love story.
Q6. The kind of song you’re planning to compose? Song of styles like future base and chillstep which I enjoy and listen to a lot.
Q7. Favorite dessert? The Japanese snack kinako mochi. I like that it melts in my mouth because it’s just so fluffy! Also I ate cheesecake before the photoshoot for <non-no>. That one was delicious too♡
Q8. How do you take care of your beautiful voice? I don’t pay particular attention to it… Like I just sing with my original voice I’ve had since I was born…
Q9. Any habit? Covering my nose when I yawn. Not mouth but nose somehow. (laughs) And I pull the baby hair on my face unconsciously. I know about these things because fans told me.
You don’t want to seem too eager, too romantic - otherwise, it just looks a bit try-hard. But I do think that a first date should be intimate. So I’d choose a nice dinner somewhere cozy, not too crowded, with good wine.
This time of year brings out the counter surfing talents of your pets. Taking care to keep irresistible flavors away from your pets palate prevents unwanted illness. Many pets receive small amounts of trimmings from the kitchen throughout the year; however, Thanksgiving tends to bring out an overabundance in everyone. Here are some food items to be aware of:
High fat foods, such as ham, gravy, butter, and desserts, may cause inflammation of your dog’s pancreas. Pancreatitis causes intense abdominal pain and vomiting and requires hospitalization to recover. Keep foods securely sealed and enclosed in a high space or the refrigerator. Secure the lid on the trash can to avoid garbage raiding.
Bones: chewing on bones, particularly turkey bones, can cause splintering. Once swallowed, the splintered bones can cause trauma to the intestinal tract, requiring surgery. Ham bones, while they tend to not splinter, are hard and can fracture teeth during chewing.
Onions and onion powder: in large enough quantities can cause a sudden onset of anemia.
Foreign objects: such as string (used to tie the turkey), skewers, plastic bags and turkey poppers. Your pet does not have self-restraint or the common sense to avoid these objects that drip of meat juices.
If you want to offer your pet something special too, choose alternative treats such as a new toy or extra bonding and exercise time. At the end of the day, you will be thankful you did.
Is this more of an app review or a book review? Today I bring you a review of Beelinguapp, an audiobooks app for language learners.
Sometimes studying can be a boring drag and you just want to do something a little less tedious than drilling grammar or a ton of vocab flashcards. Maybe you want to get into reading books in your language of choice, but you’re worried that it might be too hard to just pick up a book written in your chosen language and read it without guidance. In that case, I could recommend this app to you!
As I already said, this is an audiobook app. There are free stories and paid ones both available to choose from. There are stories of all different types and difficulties, including classics and even sciency stuff, as you can see in the above image! The cool thing is that when you choose a story, you can also choose which languages to download it in! So far, I’ve downloaded all of my stories in English, Korean, Mandarin, and Japanese. When you go to listen to a story, you can choose what you want your learning language to be and what your reference language is. When you listen to the book, it will be read and displayed to you in the learning language, and you can do split screen so the learning language is on top and the reference language is on bottom. You can mix and match languages, so you could even have two learning languages up at once!
There are a lot of things you can play with as you read. As I already mentioned, there’s the split screen option, and there is a night mode, text magnifier, voice speed control, and text highlight that follows the reader. The text highlight sometimes isn’t timed correctly, however, and of course if the languages you have set as your learning and reference have different word order or other major grammatical differences, you won’t be able to really use the highlight to, for example, match words you don’t know. Still, the highlight does make it easier to follow where the speaker is in the text with your eyes even if the timing is a little off.
As for the actual audio quality, I’ve found it to be passable in all the stories and different languages I’ve tested so far, though some aren’t the absolute best quality. That isn’t to say the audio is bad, just that you can expect to hear some noise in some recordings. I’m assuming that the audio quality will be better with stories that you have to pay to download, but I’m too cheap so I haven’t tried any of those yet :B Anyway, in all of the stories I’ve listened to so far, the narrators speak at reasonable storytelling speeds, and if you aren’t super picky about audio quality, there should be no big problem.
The major downfall of this app is, in my opinion, the lack of a dictionary function. You can long-press words to add them to your own dictionary in the app… but then you have to add a meaning for the word yourself, which is obviously not too helpful at all if you don’t already know what the word means! Sure, maybe you could take a look at the reference language text to see what the word means, but these stories aren’t translated word-for-word and sometimes matching up words between different versions of the same text could be hard. What I think this app really needs is an easy-access dictionary that, if you long-press a word, it pulls up a dictionary entry for that word. Of course, since there are so many stories in so many languages on this app, providing dictionaries for all of them might be hard…
Ultimately, I think this is a pretty good app with a few flaws that, if fixed, would make this a really excellent language-learning tool!
Multiple languages available
Can read along as you listen to the story
Can choose your display languages so you can even study more than one new language at once
Lots of little options to play with to optimize your experience