Robin and commitment!
This is mostly observation but also a rant so sorry if this might be a little long. I wanted to post this because I think it makes sense regarding the person Robin really is.
So, I wanted to talk about the fact that Robin’s commitment phobias aren’t exactly that much of a big deal. Considering she’s had many boyfriends, two fiances and got married her fear of commitment isn’t that important to the person she is and becomes through the series. At first, it was a big issue, bigger than it should be because Robin is naturally independent and likes to be single, she even says this in the series. It’s not a big deal, it just shows that Robin likes her freedom and that’s okay. But, the real issue here is that the show constantly rubs her independence in our faces, for the entire series her commitment problems aren’t really that serious, it’s more of showing that not all women want to settle down, have a house with a white picket fence, have babies, animals, etc. Robin is this woman, she’s career minded, independent and likes to explore more things in life because of her upbringing.
The way she was raised, when she was growing up she didn’t have a role model or anyone to look up to, all she had was two very bitter and toxic parents. Her father wanted a boy and didn’t get that so he raises her as a boy and put a young girl through hell all because he wanted a son. Her parents were divorced and had many issues, her mother wasn’t there for her and wasn’t around while she was going up and her sister was too young to understand all the things that she was going through at that young age.
So, when she moved out of her father’s house and into her mother’s she became the teenaged popstar we know of now, her mother threw her into the spotlight after being in the hands of her awful father. She never had the life she was supposed to in her youth, she never had someone who truly loved her for who she was, and she never had anyone to guide her at that young age. As a young adult, she went off to college but her teenaged years and her young girl days made her feel like she wasn’t fitting into the world. She never had a place that was more of a home and not a mixed up family, she seemed to always be left out of the cold so to speak and it messed her up for her adulthood. So, when she moved to NY she finally found that guidance, support, care and love through meeting the gang and becoming a family with them. That’s something she didn’t have in her younger days and it’s something she needed in her life.
Now, I want to switch this up to talking about Robin and her relationship with Barney. I think this is important because when she met the gang and Barney she truly did meet her match, her The One, the guy she calls her soulmate, and the guy she eventually marries and does settle down with.
Barney and Robin are both commitment phobes, they both had bad upbringings and childhoods, they were messed up even before they even met so the only way they became the messes they were in their twenties is because of their horrible upbringings, their parents lied and manipulated them, they weren’t around much for them when growing up, Barney’s parents weren’t even married, his mother lied to him constantly (sure it was to protect him) but it was still not right especially the lies she told about his father. His father wasn’t in his life at all growing up after six years old, he needed someone there as a role model to look up to because his youth days wasn’t really a good or happy time for him. He didn’t get to have his father in his life until he was 30 and then you have the whole mess with Shannon and his first love screwing him over in which he ends up how he is in the series. The womanizing cad he had become, but that isn’t who he truly is and I think between his messed up and troubled youth and Shannon dumping him he lost who he is for a while until he meets Robin who changes his life and his heartbreak of Shannon dumping him and changed him back into the love sick guy he was in his late teens and early twenties. Robin, had changed his life but didn’t change his personality and she never wanted to change who he was and truly is.
Robin, she had given up on relationships, actually in fact I think she never wanted one and never wanted to commit to anyone but along with Barney he changed her life to wanting a more settled and committed life. Yes, sure their relationship had been messy, but it’s a good messy, a messy that works, a messy they understands, a messy that is passionate and loving, a messy that is fun and free, a messy that doesn’t make sense but actually does make sense. Barney and Robin are both a natural mess, their upbringings is why their adulthoods was more pessimistic and it’s why Robin was so cynical and pushes away any guy that comes near her because she’s too messed up to keep a relationship going strong.
Robin and Barney both had difficulties expressing their emotions, they were always emotionally stunted people again because of the way they were raised, they are both broken and messed up people but the thing that makes this relationship so real, so perfect but in a not so perfect way is because they get each other in ways that nobody else does. They are emotionally guarded people who don’t like to show their emotions and feelings especially in relationships. But, when they met that all changed, they both have to do a little growing and learning before they knew what they wanted in life before they understood that what they have together is something so wonderful and undeniable that even they couldn’t deny the way they felt for each other.
I think their feelings for each other started in season 1, possibly “Zip, Zip, Zip” because that episode showed just how absolutely perfect they are for each other. And, it just got more harder and complicated as the series went on to control the natural pull they had towards each other. That chemistry, it should be an even bigger reason why it felt so real, so natural to easily be pulled or well pushed towards each other. That chemistry is extremely strong, it’s real, it’s natural and it shows just how powerful it is when they’re around each other.
When they’re around each other, Robin is like a totally different person, her personality, her true personality comes out whenever she’s around Barney because he brings out the best parts of her true personality and she just loves being apart of his world, his life and being that partner to him that she doesn’t quite have with any other man.
Anytime she’s around Barney he brings out her fun side, she is always so happy and smiles when she’s around him because it feels natural to her. Barney is a natural when it comes to making Robin laugh or smile or whenever they have fun together she’s always just naturally happy to be around him. He’s truly her other half in that way because he bringing out something so real in her that they have this natural ease around each other.
They also have this real and natural light about them whenever they’re together. They are always themselves and always incredibly happy with each other. All the issues they have all goes away when they’re together, they don’t have a single care in the world but only each other, and each other’s happiness. They can’t be apart because when they are they aren’t truly happy. So, again this is why I don’t buy that ending for them because even if they seem unhappy and want to pull away from each other, there is still a real love there that overtakes any issues they might have. The fact that they are two very anti-commitment people who found each other at a time in their lives when they both gave up any idea of having a relationship. They found each other and through their friendship fell in love. Every relationship that starts out as a friendship and turns into love is always a relationship that lasts. When you try too hard and push a relationship (finale I’m looking at you) it just doesn’t feel real or natural or even right. Barney and Robin have an undying love that lasts, when they broke up (not counting the finale here for reasons) in season five they were both complete messes over the way it had ended.
Their relationship is so strong that you can’t even call that breakup or even the finale breakup real because their chemistry, love, care for each other and that natural pull towards each other will never ever go away no matter how much they deny their feelings. Their breakups weren’t breakups, it was them trying to find away to stay in each other’s lives without completely breaking down because losing each other is just not what they are ever going to want.
And, you know what that scene in “Ring Up” is proof of this couple never ever stopping their love for each other. A love that just doesn’t go away just as their chemistry doesn’t go away.
“Love is the best thing we do.”
So, in other words Barney and Robin never really broke up because their hearts would never completely heal over losing each other. Robin could try and move on from losing Barney but she will never be truly happy. And, Barney could bang anyone he wants to pretend that Robin never existed but that doesn’t change that fact that they are completely and utterly in love with each other and can not lose each other in their lives. They can move on or have other relationships but they and only they know that the other one is truly the One for them. They are best friends turned soulmates and I love this kind of love story because it just feels right.