but it makes me happy right now so i dont really care

I was really struggling this week. Working way too hard, skipping breaks and meals, not staying hydrated, not showering, not taking my meds. it was bad. even at the busiest times, self-care is so so important. if I needed help, then I’m probably not the only one. all of these lil ideas are small and relatively easy and I highly doing something nice for yourself, even if it’s not on the list. hope you all have a wonderful day/week/year. 

(my personal favourites in bold)

  1. drink some cold water
  2. wash your hands and face with cool water
  3. make some tea
  4. get a blanket and snuggle it around you
  5. snuggle an animal/stuffed animal
  6. buy your favorite candy from the gas station
  7. close your eyes and listen to your fav song on repeat for 10 mins
  8. put on some throwback jams (high school musical, mamma mia, 90s, u do u) and dance around ur room in ur undies 
  9. make a calming playlist
  10. call a friend/relative just to say hi and hear someone else’s voice
  11. rewatch cute/funny/happy clips from ur fav tv show/band/movie on youtube
  12. put on a skirt and twirl (yes boys/agenders/trans u can do this too)
  13. scribble really hard with black pen on a blank page and scream
  14. look at the sky/moon/sunset/sunrise/stars
  15. write
  16. watch kitten/puppy/small animal live streams on youtube
  17. go outside, even if its just by ur front door, and take some deep breaths
  18. eat something - fruit, veggies are best
  19. change ur contacts/clean ur glasses if you wear those
  20. change your underwear
  21. if u can’t get urself to shower, wash off w a damp washcloth/baby wipe
  22. put on a cute/comfy outfit that makes you feel good about urself
  23. dont put eye makeup on so you can rub your eyes & they wont feel heavy
  24. stretch, do some yoga or meditate
  25. get a breathing/meditation app and use it (headspace is gr8)
  26. take a nap
  27. go to bed before 11 pm
  28. brush your teeth
  29. turn off bright harsh lights and use smaller, warmer lamps
  30. unplug. give your eyes/brain a break from screens for a half hour
  31. get one of those pet/family apps/games and care for someone else for a change
  32. find cool people on tumblr and send them anonymous compliments (that you actually think are true - spread love)
  33. find a quote, write it/print it nicely and stick it on ur wall
  34. watch a new movie
  35. boil some cinnamon sticks/vanilla bean for 5 mins so ur house smells pretty. if in ur room, use essential oil drops or candles
  36. make your bed
  37. vacuum 
  38. wipe down ur desk w some disinfectant
  39. clean something - a backpack, small area, fluff ur pillow, put away one shirt
  40. do your makeup all pretty and nice just because/dress up just because
  41. research into your dream job/vacation/city/whatever
  42. open up pages/canva/photshop/etc and make something just for fun
  43. build a fort and crawl under it
  44. find an easy diy and do it/ be proud of ur creative genius
  45. make a list of things that make you happy. stick it somewhere you’ll see it all the time
  46. print a picture of someone/thing that’s pissing u off and throw things at it (tape it to a dart board if u have one)
  47. reread a book that makes you happy
  48. clip your nails, clean the dirt from under them
  49. send some good old fashioned snail mail to someone u like just for fun
  50. take some selfies if you’re feelin it (see #40)
  51. fuzzy socks. enough said. 
  52. make yourself a fancy meal/cocktail/coffee/tea latte/drink/whatevs
  53. open ur window or put on a fan/air purifier. get some air circulating
  54. draw, even if u think u suck. 
  55. reach out to kids help phone (canada) or a suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone about more serious matters. you deserve help and care and support. (message me if you need resources)
  56. donate to a local animal shelter (if u have the means obviously)
  57. go for a walk/run/bike ride
  58. put on a face mask
  59. take a bubble path
  60. shave ur legs and moisturize
  61. moisturize 
  62. bake some cookies
  63. go on spotify/youtube and find some new music you love
  64. make a really fun upbeat playlist for next time u get the aux cord
  65. scroll through some wholesome or funny meme accounts. whatever you’re in the mood for. 
  66. take some cool pictures of whatever you want
  67. change up your room in any small ( or big) way that you can
  68. teach urself a new skill on youtube (simple like a hair style, or complicated like an instrument, whatever u want)
  69. sign up to volunteer at a library/homeless shelter/soup kitchen/retirement home/daycare center/etc. help those who need it. be giving. 
  70. put on sad music and cry. let ur mascara run. be dramatic. let it out.
  71. put rock music on and stomp and scream throw (soft) things. let it out. 
  72. teach urself the words to a fast rap song thats cool right now so you can impress ur friends/classmates/family
  73. print off some kid colouring pages and dont stay inside the lines
  74. brush your hair, take it out of a ponytail if its been like that for a while, or put it up if its down and in ur way
  75. diy a hair mask (coconut oil) and do that
  76. exfoliate ur whole body and feel like a whole new person
  77. clear out ur phone/laptop. delete old messages, numbers of people u dont like/hang out with, get rid of photos of shitty friends, apps u dont use, etc
  78. find cards against humanity online (or if u have it use the cards) and play with urself - make funny matches just because
  79. empty a drawer (or multiple) and fold ur stuff neatly
  80. do something that will make u sweat (gym, dance, clean) then take a nice shower
  81. take a second to listen to ur body. unclench muscles that are clenched, fix ur poster, massage/stretch tight areas
  82. move to a different area of the house for a little while. clear ur head. 
  83. go out, anywhere. window shop, go to a coffee shop/library and work. people watch if ur broke. 
  84. update your planner
  85. make Pinterest board/real life vision of things that make you happy for when in this situation again
  86. find a youtuber you like and watch their videos
  87. lie on the floor, listen to music and do nothing for a while
  88. give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and then stand like superman for a few mins. sounds silly but it works. its called powerposing. look it up. 
  89. repeating this bc important: hydrate!!!
  90. start a new tv show
  91. order something online so u have something to look forward to
  92. go sit with a family member and keep them company. u dont have to talk to them. 
  93. the app ‘trump dump’ will make u feel better about the current us political situation
  94. read happy news: find stories of students doing something cool, women kicking ass, men being amazing, whatever. bonus points if this inspires u
  95. sort your garbage from recycling and help the environment
  96. smile at people you see just because. smiling is good and nice. 
  97. look at old pictures of u and ur fav people
  98. go through old yearbooks and take a second to appreciate how far you’ve come
  99. go to a park and watch kids play. remember what it’s like to be young. realize you are still young. go on the swings and go as high as u can
  100. play in a sandbox just because u still can

xo soph

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

my dudes

my buddies

my pals

Let’s be real for a second in terms of like where this show is headed with regards to my favorite character (surprise it’s Lance jk no one is surprised)

Recently this tweet happened:

And some people are taking this really well and other people… not so much. Which makes sense since all of us have been like #thirstin for something more for Lance and have been met with a lotta nothing, but I think this tweet is actually a good thing.

So in this recent interview with Kimberly, Josh, and Jeremy, Jeremy basically says what he’s been saying since day 1 that’s been echoed by a lot of the other cast members and crew.

Basically: Lance will step up to the plate and he’ll become more of a leader and take on more responsibility but at the end of the day…

Lance.

Is.

Lance.

And when people ask for more about Lance in terms of his character, you don’t really hear much beyond this, which is exTRemEly frustrating but just hear me out.

It might not be this deep but I think it’d be cool if there’s a reason for the Voltron team being so adamant in the fact that “Lance is Lance.” And he will always be no matter what. This can go one of two ways.

1. Lance is Lance because he will always only be comic relief. 6 seasons of comic relief. That’s him. He’s Lance. A flirt. Cocky. Goofy. Sure he might have some moments like we’ve seen in S1 and S2 but for the most part he’s there to be the team goofball to make everyone laugh (or groan with frustration and annoyance)

Which is shitty and terrible and I will be so angry if this is what goes down but for now let’s move onto the MUCH BETTER option 2.

2. Lance does become a leader (maybe a co-leader? Right hand man? stays the Blue Paladin and just kinda steps up more? whatever) but no matter how tough things get, no matter how worn down the team is, no matter how hopeless the situation seems, Lance can still be Lance. And I don’t just mean he’s able to crack a joke at a tense time to lighten the mood, though that also is a part of it. I mean that he is able to keep a level head and calmly think things through even in chaotic or near impossible situations

That he is always concerned about the well-being of other and is willing to lay down his life for his friends (AKA PEOPLE HE JUST MET)

That he’s also not afraid to call out these friends when he thinks they are making a mistake (there seems to be a running theme with this one…..)

That he’s also appreciative of his friends and pays attention to their needs/wants and their strengths

And that he will always go down swinging

But maybe most importantly, and this is what I hope the Voltron team is trying to get at, Lance will never lose his joy and excitement and happy go-lucky demeanor. This is what makes him the Blue Paladin (and also why I think he would make a great Black Paladin but anyways….). He’s the glue of the team and this means more than just being the comic relief and making ill-timed jokes.

I really love the Lance that is able to start a weird space spore fight or wants to knit sweaters for Arusians. I love the Lance that enjoys doing a crazy dance while explaining their extremely dangerous plan to defeat Zarkon. I love the Lance that has fun coming up with wild ideas about what else could be locked up in Beta Traz. It’s not that he’s not taking his job as a Paladin seriously but rather that he is trying to take this crazy situation in stride as much as possible. We know that he can be worried, insecure, and lonely, but this never stops him from being who he is. He stumbles, loses confidence, regains it, and stands back up again ready to start swinging at the next asshole who decides to come for him and his friends.

Lance is adaptable just like water. He might come in different forms (serious, competitive, caring, homesick, flirtatious, etc) but at the end of the day it’s all of it is a part of who he is. He might need to get better at figuring out the appropriate timing of being leader Lance or flirty Lance, but it’s not like he has to lose the more immature part of him to become a more well-developed character.

So when people say “Lance will always be Lance,” I’m actually pretty fucking thankful. I’ve read some Langst where Lance becomes more “Keith-like” to cope with his insecurities which……. I’m conflicted about. I don’t think he needs to go as far as NOT be him in order for the team to learn to appreciate him more. So I think this affirmation from the staff that Lance will always be himself no matter what makes me believe that he will be what keeps the team together through the difficult and tumultuous times to come. That even despite his clear self-doubt he will be able to put the team and others first and maintain his role as the glue. That he will still manage to grow and change as a Paladin AND maintain the things that make him Lance.

There will be growing pains, of course, (I’m guessing a lot to do with Keith) but just because he’s insecure doesn’t make him weak. Lance doesn’t have to become more serious or stoic in order to be taken more seriously or be more “mature.” Then he wouldn’t be the Lance we know and love. He can withstand the challenges to come and develop as a character without sacrificing these integral parts of himself. He is capable of SO MUCH and I can’t wait for him to unlock the potential that was always there within him and makes him who he is.

THE QUEST FOR LOVE

Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long, since I have classes tomorrow at 9am and it’s exactly 4.30am right now. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. Also, due to my hectic schedule, this is the only time I have to write- though I swear to god I’m super sleepy right now

Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.

If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world. 

By the way people, it is perfectly OKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.

Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.

Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.

I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you!

Ending this cringey post with one of my favorite quotes from Rumi,

‘Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’

Lots of love,

Aisyah

Guys help I’m emotional

So I wrote a thing- Its a Langst thing.

It isnt finished and its just in the ‘summarize’ stage but… I dont know if I should expand on it?

Read it under the cut if you wantttt

Keep reading

twitter bios

need new clothes, a new city, a new life 

WHEN PEOPLE ARE SMILING AND THEY TRY TO STOP BUT CAN’T DEAR GOD THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD

constantly torn between “treat others how u wanna be treated” and “treat others how they treat u”

worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn’t good enough 

all black everything to match my soul 

just wanna do bad things with the right person 

it sucks being the person that cares the most in a relationship 

blood type: gold 

confidence is attractive 

i like being alone i just hate feeling alone 

a heart full of pain and a head full of stress

plot twist: you miss me

not exactly emotionless, but close

no matter what I’ll love the shit outta you

roses are red violets are blue nobody loves you baby the way i do 

so honey now take me into your lovin’ arms 

which is messier my life or my hair 

as I was writing this, I was thinking of nutella and you because that combination is just so perfect

life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you

it’s insane how easily someone can lie to your face

be serious with me, don’t waste my time

honestly if my ex is happy im good

we can watch netflix or we can just have sex

a girl who wants best for you, is best for you

trying not to care is so damn hard

“being yourself is all it takes. If you want to impress someone, don’t be someone else just be yourself”

remember to take care of urself. sometimes u forget, because u are too busy taking care of other people. u are important too

where are ü now that i need ya

he chamber of secrets has been opened. enemies of the heir, beware.

there’s only one queen in this town and that’s me

u r the collest kid in the town im ur little lady

the worst feeling is when someone makes u feel special, then suddenly leaves u hanging & u have to act like u don’t care at all

if a girl tells you about her problems, it doesn’t mean she’s complaining. it means she trusts you.

appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had

maybe one day youll realize how much you neglected me

you lie about the dumbest fucking shit and you expect me to trust you? you got me fucked up

just because someone treats someone one way, doesnt mean theyll treat everyone the same way

i miss “i love you” coming out of your mouth

maybe youd understand if you knew how i felt

do you ever sit down and think “what if my whole life is a lie?”

i just want someone that cant get enough of me and wants to talk to me all the time

you make me feel so unwanted

youre full of shit

dont “okay goodnight” me, were gonna fucking talk about it

we met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson

i may be an asshole but i got feelings too

dont really give a shit about anything but i give a fuck about you

if overthinking was a drug, i’d be high af

sometimes I care too much // sometimes I don’t care at all 

I like art, and by art I mean music, poetry, sex, paintings, the human body, literature. all of it’s art.

i don’t remember the last time i wasn’t tired

black clothes are an obsession

tired of school, but i’ve got goals

if you use or save please give a credit to @tverella on twitter

I’ve been thinking about professor!magnus and soldier!alec since yesterday and idk if I want to commit myself to writing something like that when I know nothing about the army but I feel like there could be something very heartbreaking about it. 

Like maybe Alec is about to be deployed and it’s his what… 2nd? 3rd? tour and he’s happy to be unattached, despite what his siblings always say, because he knows how hard it is to be separated from the ones he loves but also to be left behind and he doesn’t want to do that to someone. So he doesn’t date and he doesn’t have a lot of close friends apart from his family and it’s ok, hes doing something important, serving his country and following his family’s footsteps (ofc they’d be a big military family) but then he meets Magnus … Idk where, somewhere random like a bookstore or grocery store or the outdoor market Izzy dragged him to and sparks  f l y. And Alec is confused/overwhelmed and reluctant despite Magnus flirting 110% with him. Maybe they exchange numbers maybe not, maybe they randomly meet again and Magnus is like uh funny twist of fate *flirty grin* and Alec is just…. abort mission holy shit help ???Because even though he’s had flings and hooks up, he’s never had a crush or somebody that made him go w o w  like this and it’s new? But he kinda wants to break his rule and say yes when the hot college professor asks him out and that’s new and kinda scary but he blurts out yes before he can fully think about it or change his mind. Of course, he has a nervous breakdown afterward and Izzy is like pls find your chill but he can’t find his chill cause he’s going away to get shot at in less than 3 months and the timing couldn’t more off and that’s not fair to Magnus to get him involved like that… Because, of course, Alec is the type of person to worry too much before anything even happens. Anyway, so they go on a date maybe a walk at dusk and some ice cream?? Idk why but I’m imagining this is set in a small coastal town? They can walk near the water while talking about everything and nothing?? I’m seeing a make out session on top of a lighthouse? Anyway, when Alec tells Magnus what he does and where he’s going he’s all sorry about that I should have told you straight away when you asked me out but Magnus is all its ok lets just see where this goes, it doesn’t have to be serious since you’re leaving so soon and they agree to have a fling… but feelings happen and it’s inconvenient!!!

I like imagining Alec walking Magnus to his classes when he’s stayed over the night before (Magnus teaches history in this, I feel it). And maybe on mornings he wasn’t at Magnus’ he does a little detour on his morning run to buy him breakfast and he leaves it in his office during the 8am lecture that Magnus hates so that he’ll have something nice after that hardship, a little muffin and a coffee with a cute note on the cup ‘cause Alec is sappy af even though he tries very hard to hide it. And maybe he buys Magnus peonies at some point, just because they’re pretty and Magnus is pretty and he’s never bought flowers for anyone before and he wanted to… And Magnus keeps teasing him flowers are not casual Mister!! because it’s easier to flirt and tease than to acknowledge the fact that Alec is leaving really soon and he might not come back, and Magnus isn’t even important enough to be considered someone he’s leaving behind (or at least that’s how he feels). Magnus tries not to think about it but he’s obsessing over the idea that he doesn’t even know Alec’s family and friends, doesn’t know anyone who would tell him if something happened??? But he doesn’t want to bring it up because it’s supposed to be casual and meaningless, something that ends when the semester ends. So they keep going on dates and Alec cooks for him and Magnus tries to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest as time flies too fast. Until there aren’t any time left and Alec is leaving. So they take a walk just like their first date and they have ice cream and they make love and they definitely don’t talk about it even though they both know that they should and Alec just… leaves. 

And Magnus tries not to have a hard time about it but it’s tough and he’s grateful it’s the end of the semester ‘cause at least he’s busy between marking terrible essays and correcting exams. He goes out with his friends from the history department once they’re all done and he tries to have a fun time, but truth is… he’s worried. He starts watching the news a little too obsessively and his friends don’t like it but he can’t help himself. 

Alec has been gone three weeks when the first letter comes. It takes Magnus by surprise at first because in all the times they’ve been together Alec has always been a man of little words. That’s not to say he was emotionally unavailable or unwilling to discuss things and his feelings, but this is new, the way the words flow easily on the page like it was no hardship at all to put it all down, descriptions of his unit and where he is, a full paragraph about how much he misses Magnus’ cat and nothing about them at all. But Magnus gets it, he sees it for what it is, a peace offering maybe or a stubborn unwillingness to let go, so he writes back. He talks about his students, their successes and their struggles, and his friends, little things that have reminded him of Alec since he’s been gone. Soft stories for a soft boy in a hard place. And they keep going back and forth, sending each other little pieces of their respective lives and it should be enough, it’s more than Magnus expected, but it’s tough and he misses Alec like a limb, misses him in his bed and in his kitchen, misses him when summer classes start and he has no one to hold his hand on his way to work, no callused fingers to wrap around his… But every new letter is a blessing. It says many things but underneath it all, the most important message is I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m thinking about you. 

Okay so maybe it all comes to a halt one day when his phone rings and it’s Alec on the line, after all those weeks, all those months, and he sounds like h e l l  and he’s there on the phone, apologizing to Magnus because his phone bill is gonna be awful but I …. I just… I needed to hear your voice Magnus, I’m sorry. You… you c-can send me the bill if you want, I just… and it takes everything Magnus has for him not to break down and cry right there and then because Alec really doesn’t sound okay and he has no idea what happened and he has no idea what they are but that’s his boy there on the phone who’s hurting and he hasn’t heard his voice in weeks… So Magnus is like Please shut up about my phone bill, I don’t give a fuck about that. How are you? Are you okay? What happened? And Alec is reluctant to talk about it, doesn’t want to give any details, just keeps saying rough day, Magnus, rough day in this small voice and Magnus hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his life. He doesn’t want to push Alec too hard so he just asks what can I do? and he hates the way his voice shakes, he wishes he could be stronger than this but Alec doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs like he’s tired deep in his bones, deep in his soul, and says: just talk to me. So Magnus does, he rambles on nervously about what he had for breakfast and what he taught today, his lecture plan for tomorrow, his neighbor’s hatred for his cat and his favorite designer on the new season of Project Runway. He just babbles on, hoping it can help. All he wants to do is help. Alec hums here and there, asks a few questions, especially about Magnus’ work and at some point he runs out of things to say. There’s a beat of silence before he whispers I love you and he knows that won’t help but he can’t keep it inside anymore, he can’t live with this trapped inside of him, fighting to break free. Alec sighs again. I.. I w-wish… You… you shouldn’t say that. Don’t say that, please. It shouldn’t take Magnus by surprise but it does and it hurts. Me not saying it won’t make it untrue Alexander. Alec groans in frustration and Magnus can picture it perfectly, the way he’s probably bent over, head between his knees, one hand harshly buried in his hair. I didn’t want to put you through that. I didn’t want to put anyone through that but especially not you. He’s so noble and he’s so caring and Magnus knew that already but it hits him again, hard, that this is a man who puts others before himself every single time and who will fight tooth and nail anyone who dares try taking care of him. So Magnus does his best to sound as stern as he can:  Well just too bad because I’m here and you’re there and I love you. And you wishing it hadn’t happened won’t change anything and if you like me even the tiniest bit you’ll call me again because I have been worried sick. 

Alec calls every week after that. There’s a new kind of anxiety that comes with waiting for the phone call, waiting for the confirmation that Alec is okay, but Magnus is happy to live with it when it means he can hear Alec’s voice once a week, warm and soft when he asks Magnus what he’s been up to and insists to be put on the phone with the cat. I don’t want him to forget me! 

That boy. 

They don’t talk about what they are again and it takes until Alec is back on American soil, his head buried in Magnus’ neck so no one can see him cry, for him to say I love you back, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it. For now, Magnus cherishes every time his phone rings and he gets connected to Alec, he cherishes every time he can make him laugh, he cherishes every single plan they start making, every single hint that they can have a future together. 

It’s enough. 

february 2017 - dan and phil

2/12

first week (1-7): still up on the isle of man for phil’s birthweek! phil goes on a pleasant walk on the beach. accompaniment confirmed by dan howell (and martyn and cornelia). dan fell or something while trying to be an aesthetic hoe (a sprained wrist and knee? sorry my honeybee). dan posts another pic from iom and i don’t know why i’m crying in the club right now? (also he posted a flop of it on twitter…whatever). phil liveshow! (highlights: birthday present haul includes cool shoes from martyn, sock book, rewined candle, cool beetle jumper from parents, sushi gummies from dan (nostalgia from tatinof uk), firefly on blu-ray, terrarium, big lava lamp from dan, basically just spent a lot of time walking on the seaside and stuff for his bday celebrations, dan falling was hilarious and also genuinely concerning, “He’s a tall guy so it’s a long way to fall,” magic 8 ball predicted that a dog is on the horizon ???!!!!???!!!, if he does anything interesting he’ll do more day in the lifes??!!!!?!). another seaside walk picture plz stop. new gaming video: Dan vs. Phil: QUICK DRAW! phil gives us a relaxing video of the lava lamp dan gave him. nailbaiting occurred by phil. dan and nathan zed interacted and i ascended. phil takes pictures of dan a lot and dan likes posting them (aka dan lays on the floor trying to script). new danisnotonfire video: MY EVIL PIANO TEACHER (aka dan playing the piano thank god). phil still has jingle bells stuck in his head. dan liveshow! (highlights: sweaty and sensual dan ://, they help each other film because setting up tripods is for losers when you have your own person, they cried laughing filming the piano video, dan was excited about this sext marcus butler sent him from this video but then realized it was a joke, phil’s birthday week has extended until forever, dan dramatically fell and talked about it for five minutes, has hamilton tickets, he might rebrand to Dan Howell on youtube wow plz, he went to the dentist :/). 

second week (8-15): dan and phil hang out with zoe and meerkats as her wish for make a wish foundation! new gaming video: IS IT PAINFUL TO DIE?! - Dan and Phil play Google Feud #2. phil liveshow! (highlights: dan got phil a signed nude of david boreanaz, when they saw manchester by the sea a man tripped into dans popcorn oops, wow! there were three gas leaks in their house! it’s like the universe is trying to say something! *cough* move, if there are more gas leaks they will have to leave the house for three weeks and they would probs go on holiday…japan plz.., phil has pretty houseplants with pretty flowers, he bought a fluffy coat, loved the meerkats, petbaiting). cute australia pic (i wish i was that kanga). new phil icon which has effectively made me dead? (also accompanying pic) new gaming video: DIL GETS A FREEZE RAY. dan gets wet and sticky with phil in phils bedroom. new amazingphil video: Dan and Phil PASTEL EDITS IN REAL LIFE! (i dont know how to feel? i have been overwhelmed). also dan calls phil hubby but like not really but also really and… why. phil wishes us a happy valentines day with a sloth. dan liveshow! (highlights: i don’t really know dan destroyed gender roles and wore a grey wig and a flower crown and tried to scrape off his tattoos just watch the video plz). another australia selfie :( another belated birthday meal for phil but he ate moss that was attached to his drink (is he just gonna keep turning 30 forever jeez). 

third week (16-23): phil’s parents come to london to visit (no phil liveshow) but during their next liveshows they confirm they saw book of mormon again with the in-laws *cough* parents. new gaming video: IS THIS THE END? Dan and Phil play THE IMPOSSIBLE QUIZ! #6 (twas a good one). there are seagulls outside phil’s windows (side note: hector aka shitty watercolour made a painting of it and the livestream of it was good not that anyone cares). phil spent his weekend watching time lapses of cats when they are home alone. dan threw an entire salad out (aka his agenda to force phil to eat pizza and not get healthy even though phil has signed up for the gym and gone jogging i hate him). new gaming video: HORSE BOYFRIEND SIMULATOR?! - Dan and Phil play: My Horse Prince. phil is a bad lurker irl #confirmed as he tried to watch a couple argue but it didn’t work out that well. dan said chicken instead of ordering coffee at starbucks and now he can’t go to that one anymore. also on the same day someone spotted dan and phil out on a bus wow. dan and phil were watching a property show (moving? stay woke) and saw their merch. dan liveshow! (highlights: pastel beanie: on, curly hair: worn, dick: out, i am forcibly removed from the liveshow, he said chicken because of the cow and chicken theme song stuck in his head what a weirdo, he has a cheeky idea for a video thats important but not really and he doesnt know if hes ready :), he has realized he could murder someone because he just spaces out aka the salad event, they forgot to paint their nails and put in earrings for the pastel edits video wow thats great, asmr, he loves moonlight thank god, he and phil play sing star and are only good at toxic and muse, his reblogs on tumblr don’t mean anything, he had a very long shower). phil keeps buying weird things for their home. phil liveshow! (highlights: storm doris, had a haircut in his house again and it goes without saying dan got one too, liveshow haul, he froze younow is philphobic, seven exo planets and countless universes! phil is so smart, final fantasy is too long for dapg, excited for the oscars, and then that’s it because phil likes to keep his liveshows short). 

week four (24-28): oops i counted the days wrong this week is too short, dan is a sad pimp, new gaming video: BATTLE OF THE BALLS - Dan vs. Phil: Golf With Friends. phil had a cozy day and ate cookies. dan believes moonlight should win for best film as it is the most important (thenks dan howell for my life). phil tries to stay up for the oscars but fails and dan lets us all know. “at least i didn’t fuck up as hard as the 2017 oscars envelope guy”, new gaming video: DIL BURNS THE PANCAKES - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #36, dan didn’t have a liveshow because younow was broken

a nice month. what in februation

shawolstarlight  asked:

Hey cutie! Could you please do The8 from friends to lovers, if you have time. I love him so much so I would be super happy if you could do this request ❤❤

of course i can!!! and thank you for the other messages you’ve sent me cheering me on,,i have them all saved mwah~~
find woozi (here), wonwoo (here), s.coups (here), dk (here) & joshua (here)

  • you guys became friends after an argument,,,,,,,,,literally,,,,,,,
  • there was only one popsicle in your favorite flavor left at the 7/11 and you most certAINLY weren’t going to give it up to this random,,,tall,,,,,,,skinny boy,,,,,,,,
  • and the8 was glaring daggers back at you because his hand was already on the treat
  • and you’d tried to reason that you’d been in the store longer,,,,,,while the8 explained that his hand touched the popsicle first
  • and you guys could have literally stood there for the next hour,,,,but thankfully fifteen minutes later the manager came by and took the popsicle and dropped in the hands of a kid waiting near the counter
  • and before you or the8 could as much as speak, the kid was already unwrapping it and taking his first bite
  • that episode ended up with you and the8 standing outside if the 7/11,,,,,,,without popsicles,,,,,,,,,pouting simultaneously 
  • you both blamed the other person and left pissed,,,,,,,only to find each other again the next evening in the same 7/11,,,,,,,,
  • and basically this became a habit,,,,,,,you and the8 seeing each other in this grocery store and always getting into a little argument over cereal brands or soda preferences 
  • until it just became playful sarcastic banter and ,,,, you two actually started enjoying seeing each other,,,,,,,to the point where,,,maybe you weren’t 7/11 enemies but you know,,,,,,,,friends
  • and ok so maybe a couple of times you guys even walked home together from the 7/11,,,maybe bought some snacks together from street vendors,,,,,,,,maybe exchanged numbers,,,,,,,,,
  • ok you guys are friends LOL even if sometimes the8 teases you when you ask for bites of his food and he’s like oH are we buddies now??? and you’re like b OY you snapchatted me like an hour ago to invite me to hangout with you yes we’re friends now give me your food-
  • but one day you bump into the8 on a day where you didn’t plan to hangout together but,,,,,,you know he comes over to you and you’re in the supermarket looking confusingly at vegetables and the8 is like ruffling your hair and asking you whats up
  • and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,i have to cook something,,,,,my friends sick and i want to make him soup but,,,,,,,idk,,,,,,,how to do that,,,,,,
  • and the8 raises an eyebrow and is like “him? friend? boyfriend?” and you’re like LOL no,,,,,,,,i wISH,,,,,,but yeah no can you put eggplants into a soup-”
  • but before you can pick up anything, the8 puts his hand over yours and is like “ill help you. no need to ask, i can see the desperation in your face” and you’re like heY DONT make fun of me rn,,, and he just smirks and takes your basket and starts filling it up with all these ingredients as you follow him around
  • and you ask him what this and that is and he’s like don’t worry, i know what im doing. trust me
  • and you don’t know,,,,,,how much you can,,,,,but the8 might be more helpful than a recipe off the internet so when you guys buy everything you invite him over
  • and for a moment,,,,,you don’t catch it,,,,,but the8 clears his throat with nervousness because,,,,well honestly this is his first time over at your place like this,,,,,, but he puts on a cool face and is like ok ok where’s your kitchen
  • and it’s cute,,,,,he makes some comment on how it’s a little messy but he expects it from you and you’re like HEY AGAIN WITH THE TEASING and he just laughs and you’re watching him,,,,,,,prepare everything like some kind of pro
  • and he’s got his sleeves rolled up as he’s dicing vegetables and he looks,,,really handsome and you’re like no no no whaT are you thinking this is the boy who has embarrassing nicknames for you and you get into petty arguments with him,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,
  • and you look to see his concentrated gaze, how lean but still athletically built he is and you’re like oh ,,,,, oh no
  • and suddenly the8 is like “napkin,,,,can you hand me one,,,im sweating -” and you’re like oH right!!! and you get some from a shelf and come over carefully, dabbing at the sweat above his eyebrows
  • and the8 freezes because,,,,this is the first time you’ve touched him like this,,,,and before you know it your eyes meet and you stop too and ,,,,,,the8 is looking at you,,,,,intensely,,,,,and you can feel your cheeks heat up but you can’t???? look away either???? it’s like a spell is cast over you too
  • and the8′s vision flickers down to your lips than back to your eyes
  • and it’s like a scene out of a movie,,,,he puts down the knife he’s using for chopping and you put down the napkin and he’s suddenly so close,,,close enough for you to feel his breathing on your skin and,,,,,,,,then it’s like this situation calls for only one action,,,,,and when his lips settle on yours,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • it feels like the kitchen and the world has melt away
  • and ,,,,,,,,,, who knew about all this tension,,,,, between you two but also this ,,,,emotional attachment you two had grown and didn’t even know about,,,,,
  • but when the8 pulls back and you’re both staring at each other again you’re like ,,,, stuttering over your words but trying to say you need to hurry up you told your friend you’d come over by 8
  • and the8,,,,,in the most serious tone goes “ill go with you.” and you’re like ??!???? why,,,,,and he’s like “i don’t want you taking care of another man, ill help you out so he knows you’re just being a good friend.”
  • you want to roll your eyes,,,,,but also the words make you feel excited and you poke the8′s back as he’s cooking again and you’re like ,,,,,, “hey,,,,,,,,does that mean you’re the man i can take care of?~~” and he’s like HA i think you’d just make me more si-” but before he finishes he turns to see you pouting again and he pulls you into another hug and is like im joking, of course from now on : only take care of me, and ill only take care of you.” 

anonymous asked:

You do realise that you are not making your situation any better, right? Think about it: people who do not care about asking you for permission will, surprise, surprise, still not care. those that DO care, now have to renew it as if it was a driving license. You are doing exactly what companies did with DRM: it was meant to hurt pirates, but hurt the legal users. Think about how awful you felt when a teacher punished your entire class for something only some assholes did. That's you now.

after my laughing my ass off with this ask (really who do you think you are intimidating? you are pathetic, anon) im going to answer it because, well, you implied that my mental health is less important than reposters wishes so…

you know what, fuck it

i was going to make a complex aswer and whatsoever but you dont deserve my time nor my words. Honestly the reason i stopped making art these two weeks was because i have exams that are, really, more important than your stealing wishes. The blackout was an excuse.

If those people really care they wouldnt have a problem asking me again. It’s not difficult honestly.

I only post art because it’s funny and because i enjoy it but you know what happens when a thing you do stop being good and stops making you happy?

That’s right. You stop doing it.

I dont owe you anything. I dont owe anything to anybody. I do art because i want to. I do art for the Miraculous Fandom because i like the characters. 

And the same way i started doing it one day i can stop it without a second thought.

One fandom less. I have other fandoms to care about. Other fandoms will come later. My art for that fandom is not indispensable.

And for the ones who cares? I have a discord channel. I talk to those people. They care. They are not asking me to do more art because they want to fuel some nessecity of being noticed. They accept what i can offer in the time i can offer to them. 

So yeah, I’m doing a great job

Oh, btw, you know i can block you on anon right? :B

FF XV React: Words of encouragment for you

Noctis: Hey, c'mon look at me and listen. You want to know a secret about the future and how not to be afraid of tommorrow? Here it is: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. So you keep dreaming, higher and more unimaginable than anyone else!

Gladiolus: You’ve got the makings of greatness in you! But you have to take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it! No matter the squall! There’s gonna come a day when you’ll really get to test yourself and show the world what you’re made of! And I hope I’m there, seeing the light come off of you that day.

Prompto: Now you listen to me and listen good! A winner is just a loser who never learned to give up! So you be the best loser you can be and keep going! I’ll be cheering for you in the stands even if I cheer alone!

Ignis: Everything may seem hopeless right now, but there is a law in the world that is an undeniable truth. Good and better days will, and have to come. This storm will pass as all things do, and then you will be laughing at such a thing that you once feared.

Cor: In all my years I’ve learned many truths. Some that sound too good to be true, but they are. Let me tell you that what I am about to say is true; A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Regis: There now, dry your eyes and lift your head up. Keep it up and may it never lower. Why you ask? Your crown might fall if you do so. A crown alight with all those brilliant ideas the world has yet to bare witness in this cold dark reality.

Cid: Take some advice from this old man, just do what you got to do to be happy. Life’s too short to be doing stuff to make other people happy. It’s real simple thinking, but too many folks don’t do it. Do whatever; sleep in a little, splurge a little, eat that treat youve been craving it dont matter what you do as long as it’s for yourself. Selfish? Maybe, but is it so selfish to take better take care of yourself?

Clarus: Walk tall and do not falter. You might think that it’s for a lost cause for you don’t see an audience, you don’t recquire one. Do it for yourself first and foremost, and if others are in awe of you wish that they can do the same for themselves.

Iris: Hey listen me! I know you might feel like a mess and that’s okay! Sleep it off or shake it off, but don’t let it stay! If it’s too much then let me carry some of that weight so you can stand tall again!

Cidney: Dont listen to the people who talk behind your back. You’re just two steps ahead of them is all! Instead of walking down other peoples paths, you go on ahead and make your own so other people can follow!

Gentiana: I know the days appear without end, a cold, dark barren wasteland. But it is in a wasteland where storms can be the strongest, and the deadliest. You are that storm. Nothing is in your way.

Lunafreya: Do not hide away your emotions. If you are sad, then cry. If you are mad, then scream. It is a reminder that you are human; and as any human you evolve. Stronger than ever before.

Ravus: Give no satisfaction to those who are attempting to destroy you. What words they speak they merely wish unto themselves, but are cowards to do so. You are no coward.

Areana: You beating yourself up? You a masochist or something? Heh, we’re our own worst enemies, but like they say; keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Even if that enemy is yourself, with each time you decide to keep going you’re beating yourself for entitely different reasons. That’s the way it should be.

Ardyn: Now, now my dear, no need to fret. You may think you’ve lost and failed at everything. But to have never tried, is never to have lived and besides - when you have nothing to lose, you have all to gain.

Nyx: Y'know, most people would have given up a long time ago. They wouldn’t have even bothered at all to keep going…So why do you? Heh, dont know? ‘Cus you got “something” to still keep you going even if you dont know what that is yet. Keep going to find out what it is, and if you can’t find the reason - then keep going for me, cus I’ll always give you one.

Libertus: Listen to me, you might say I’m just telling you this cus I 'oughta but I say it cus I really do care 'bout ya.The world would be more dark without you here. I mean it. You’re one little light out of a million, a billion out there and you might not think that you stand out or shine - but you do. Sometimes one little candle is all you need to not be afraid of the dark.

Crowe: You know when all is said and done at the end of the day, no matter how horrible it was - you’re still you but only better. It may not be by much, you might not even notice it. You survived and you learned, so that’s an accomplisment unto itself.

Drautos: I’ll tell it to you straight and simple; just do it. Whatever it is or whatever it may be, go on and try. Learn from it if you fail, keep trying if you want to. Kick ass and take names.

Luche: Head back, back straight and deep breaths. Take your own time when it comes to things, at your own pace. No one is rushing you, only yourself.

Dino: Listen 'ere kid, greatness ain’t born, it’s made. Like a diamond. Little peice of coal takes forever to be something that everyone wants. So take your sweet 'ol time and be the diamond everyone wants, and then dont! 'Cus a precious stone like you belongs to nobody!

All I Had

Summary: Savitar kidnaps reader because in the future she was his lover, she was there for him when everyone rejected him. However, she died and now he’s in the present seeking revenge from the team while finding a way to be with her again.

Pairings: Savitar!Barry x reader *

Word count: 1190

A/N: Hey, guys! I had 3 requests for Savitar!Barry and they had some similarities so I decided to incorporate them in a single story. It’s kinda short but maybe this could have a second part, let me know if you’d want it! I hope you enjoy it x

*This is not really supposed to be cute and/or romantic

Part 2 | Part 3

Masterlist

Keep reading

Wings

A/N: I’m gonna be quite honest. These past weeks I’ve been staying up until 6 am and waking up at 2 pm. One day I woke up and found I had written this in my notes. I don’t really remember writing it, but hey. Why not?

Spencer Reid meets his guardian angel and she’s nothing like he would have ever imagined. 


Originally posted by matthew-gray-gubler-trash-no1

Keep reading

|Late Night Conversations| R.MANTLE /PART ONE\

It was hard day for me. My arm is bandaged, it hurt like shit but I have this thing for you and I hope you’ll like it. 

Funny story: I came up with this idea when my doctor pulled the glass out of my skin. I’m good fam. I’m a survivor ;)) 

IMAGINE ABOUT: Reggie and reader kinda had ‘a thing’ with eachother but when Jason Blossom death comes out. Reggie immediately leaves the city leaving her with nothing but her feelings. 


I’m not supposed to be like this. 

I’m not supposed to be the sad girl who doesn’t know where the hell she’s going and what the fuck she’s doing. I’m not supposed to care too much about what anyone thinks and I’m not supposed to let words affect my choices. 

I’m supposed to be that bitchy, funny maybe a little nice girl that hungs out with her friends on weekends and goes to an average school to pursue average career. 

So far. I’ve menaged to let one person change up my life like a span of a few months. What’s killing me? I think some part of me thinks I’m supposed to be the girl who cares too much for her own good. 

My parents don’t understand me. I don’t blame them. I fucking love my parents but sometimes, I just need a break. I need a break from a lot of people and I need a break to recycle my old self to keep anyone from getting in and ripping my heart to shreds. 

Sort of like how I’m feeling right now. 

There’s no way to better describe this feelng other than the fact that I’ve tried to drown my feelings multiple times, only to find out those fuckers can swim and do  water tricks as well. 

Exams have been like hell, although I did imagine this week to consist of Reggie kissing up my neck as I study. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this, he’s gone, whatever, he didn’t choose me so fuck him right?

It’s been a few days since Reggie left, and a few days since Archie and I last spoke . Archie and I have been making eye contact at most, and I can tell by the look in his eyes that he has so much to say but can’t. 
I’ve ignored his glances and ignored his silent plea’s to confess to him my true feelings and opinion, so far it’s been good. 

In other news speaking, Reggie’s been leaving me numerous messages, in all shapes and sizes, and every single on of them made my feeling stronger than a rock.

iMessage from Reggie:

i feel sad i dont like this 

(read: 11:34pm 12/04/2017) 





iMessage from: Reggie

i let you down and i know that, but im gonna need u to not give up on me okay?

(read: 9:10am: 13/04/2017) 




iMessage from: Reggie

i dont know what is it or what we are but all i know is that im here in the middle of nowhere hungover as fuck by myself thinking of you and only you

(read: 2:47pm 14/14/2017) 




iMessage from: Reggie

i dont know what to do

(read: 9;15pm  14/14/2017) 




iMessage from Reggie: 

youre mine 

(read: 1:42am 15/04/2017) 




iMessage from Reggie: 

baby girl 

please let me know ur okay

(read: 1:45am 15/04/2017) 



iMessage from Reggie: 

i miss you like crazy 

(read: 1:50am 15/04/2017) 




iMessage from Reggie: 


im not to blame i swear to you

im so scared 


(read: 3:05am 16/05/2017) 

I sat there re-reading every message he sent, analyzing over the words and thinking about what he meand by all of them. This alien feeling in my stomach makes my eyes water whenever and my lips quiver as I read. I don’t know this feeling, and I don’t like this. Reggie’s that kind of persons, he’s the kind I think I’d never be fully mad at. 

I lay in my bed in the late at night. Thinking of nothing but Reggie’s body an my last fucking exam tommorow morning. I like this quietness, althought it would be better with Reggie. Fuck. I should stop thinking like that. I like the moonlight at this time and I like the feeling on my skin against the bed. I like it, all that it is

Just as I was about to exit my messages app, it scrolls back down to Reggie’s chat, notifying me of a new message. 

iMessage from Reggie

i wanna go home 

you read that in 2 second, u were waiting for me? please tell me u were waiting for me 

i miss your lips 

so damn much i could almost taste them 


(read: 3:27am) 


I feel so tempted to reply back. To tell him that thoughs of him have taken over my brain and I can’t help but feel like shit although he’s the one doing all the demage. He’s the one who walked out when I asked him to come clean with me, and he’s the one running away now for a reason he won’t bother telling me. 

I need to stop reminding myself that we’re not together. He can do whatever the hell he wants and i have nothing to say in it whatsoever. I can’t even allow myself to be mad at him. 

I debate in my head wheter I sould reply to ease this misery, knowing he’d been messaging me desperately for the past few days. I miss him like hell. If this is what it felt like not having his arms curled up around my body and his hair tickling my neck. I can only imagine what it would feel like withouth him at all. I decide to message him, a reply something he said says ago. My fingers type the words, staring at them for a few seconds before I press send. 

iMessage to: Reggie

I’m yours 


iMessage from: Reggie 

really?? u decide to text me back when i go to pee? now im happy and the pee wont come out properly 


iMessage to: Reggie

where r u? 


iMessage from Reggie 


im scared and im tired and i just want you 

i fucked up so bad princess, like i always do, but i want you so fucking bad 



iMessage to Reggie

you already have me 




iMessage from Reggie 

now 

i want you now 


iMessage to Reggie

my heart hurts Reggie 

and the only person i can tell is the person who hurt me 

you 

so fuck you 


iMessage from: Reggie

you dont understand 


iMessage to Reggie 

then explain, cause i cant go through this, im not someone you can play with and throw away, talk to me, im beggining you to talk to me 


iMessage from Reggie: 

park on 5th, right fucking now! 



PART TWO

tell me if you like it. Your opinion is important to me so feel free :) 

TAG FAM LIST:  @sunshine51879  @isntskatesatan @dempsey-mantle @jellybeanjoncs @sweetvengeancee @archie-puppydogeyes-andrews 
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Christine and Chloe eventually convince Michael to tell Jeremy how he feels
Michael decides to do it over text since he doesn’t think he could handle doing it in person

Michael: Hey Jeremy can we talk? 
Jeremy: sure whats up
Michael: This is gonna be hard for me to say but
Jeremy: hey its ok take your time
Michel: I have a huge crush on you and I’ve had it for a few years now.  Sorry.
Jeremy: shit im sorry michael but I dont feel the same im sorry
Michael: Oh right yeah sorry dude didn’t mean to make this awkward haha
Jeremy: you ok
Michael: I’m sure I’ll be fine 

Michael’s crying at this point 
Both Chloe and Christine had convinced him to tell Jeremy because they thought he felt the same
But obviously, they were wrong
Of course they were
Why would anyone like Michael
He was annoying
Loud
Stupid
A loser 
A stoner
And to top it all off now he didn’t even have a best friend 

When Michael tells her, Chloe is all ready to fight Jeremy but Michael tells her to let it go
Over time the group splits
With Michael, Brooke, Chloe, Jenna and Christine in one grou[
And Jeremy, Rich and Jake in the other
Over time the two sides of the group lose most contact
Though Chloe and Jake still talk from time to time 

In his second year of college, Jeremy works out that he is definitely bi after a few nights at a club 
In his last year of college, Jeremy realises that he was actually in love with Michael 
But it’s too late to do anything about that 

Chloe invites both sides of the group to her and Brooke’s wedding  
Everyone shows
Except Jeremy
Michael tries not to let it get to him
But it does
He’s just so angry that Jeremy allowed all of this to become so awkward between them
They were meant to be a team
Player 1 and Player 2
Who cares if it’s platonic or romantic?
He just wants his best friend back

Rich and Jake’s wedding? No Jeremy 

When Brooke has her first kid? No Jeremy 

When Jenna gets promoted to head of her newspaper? No Jeremy 

When Michael is half asleep on his sofa with a glass of wine in his hand after looking after Christine Lohst all day? Of course that’s when he shows up 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 
Ugh they’re gonna start to shout soon
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Oh hell yeah I’ll open it soon
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
It sucks Chlo left me here alone
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Here in this toddler’s battle zone
CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG
I feel a headache coming up
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Is Chloe ever giving up?
Splash splash splash splash
Throw some water in my face
Now I’m in a better place I open up the door and - 

“JeReMy!" 
"MiChAeL!”
“Wait why are you surprised? This is my house”
“Christine said it was he- oh shit”
“Christine said what?”
“NOTHING”
“You’re a terrible liar Jeremy”
“But she didn’t say ANYTHING”
Michael raises an eyebrow
“Really?”
“Ok fine well she may have told me that this was her new apartment and so I was stopping in to visit her like I usually do”
“…you usually visit Christine?”
“…yeah”
“So are you two…”
“NO NO NO she’s not my type”
“Oh”
“Yeah”
“Why are you still here Jeremy? Christine’s not here.  Unless you wanted lil Christine in which case she’s sleeping in the guest room”
“Right yeah sorry.  I’m bothering you aren’-”
“You’re no-”
“I’ll jus-”
“You don’t ha-”
“By-”
“COME IN FOR A DRINK”
“Uh what?”
“Would you like to come in for a drink?”
“Oh I…”
“You don’t have to Jeremy, it was just an idea”
“No it’s ok I’ll come in”

Michael finds another wine glass
“Red ok?”
“Red’s perfect thanks”

“So Jeremy how’s everything? What are you doing now?" 
“Oh I’m a games developer”
“You don’t look particularly excited about that? That was like your dream job”
“Oh well normally people get really bored when I talk about work”
“Jeremy you’re talking to the guy who was tempted to play apocalypse of the damned with his adopted niece this morning”
Jeremy looks at up that
“Apocalypse of the damned huh? We never did finish it did we?”
“Never too late to continue”
Both of them look at each other and then there’s a quick scramble to the living room

“I don’t know how well it’s gonna work cos I obviously haven’t played it in years" 
“Dude the console doesn’t have a speck of dust don’t lie to me you probably played this yesterday”
“Shut up Mr Games Developer”
“Touché”
The loading screen comes up and it’s just like high school again
Just the two of them
Michael presses start an-
“UNCLE JEREMY”
Lil Christine comes in
“Uh hey Chrissie”
“Uncle Michael why didn’t you tell me Uncle Jeremy was gonna be here”
“I didn’t know myself”
“Mom’s gonna be so happy”
Both men look at each other
Michael speaks first
“Uh why?”
“Because mom is always talking about how you two should have been together and now you are!”

Jeremy and Michael both go bright red and neither of them speaks
“OH NO I BROKE YOU!”
Michael manages to get some words out  
“Nah Chrissie it’s fine.  Why don’t you back to bed and I’ll come in and see you in a moment”
“But I want to talk to Unc-”
“Christine Lohst - bed now”
“Fiiiiiiiiine" 

"I’m sorry about her”
“She’s not the one who’s apparently been telling her three year old that we should be together”
“Chloe has very strong feelings about what happened in high school”
“So do I”
Michael stares at him, saying nothing
 "I shouldn’t have let your feelings get in the way of our friendship and I’m so sorry that I did.  It was stupid and I hate myself for it"
“Wait shit no don’t say that.  I’m just as much to blame as you are.  It’s not like I really tried to keep our friendship together.  I thought it’d be easier to just let it fall apart.”
“So we’re both sorry and stupid and wish we could be friends again?”
“Definitely”
“Then I’m glad to be your new old friend Michael Mell”
“And I’m glad to be yours Jeremy Heere”
“I should probably tell you something though”
“What?”
“In my last year of college I worked something out - I was an idiot in high school.”
“We already said this”
“For another reason.  I was an idiot because I didn’t realise I was head over heels for you" 
"WHAT”
“I’m sorry Michael.  It took me so long to figure it out and I just rejected you in high school even though I felt the same”
“What about now?”
“What?”
“Do you feel the same now?”
Jeremy takes in Michael
His scruffy hair, his glasses that need to be pushed up, the oversized hoodie he still hasn’t gotten rid of and looks into his eyes
“Yes" 
"Oh”
“Oh?”
“Oh”
“Well, what about you Michael? Do you still like me?”
Michael doesn’t even hesitate
“YES”
“OH”
“OH”

while i dont think joseph and mary should have stayed together (primarily because joseph is written to be a serial cheater and using the fact that mary wont or even cant properly stand up for herself to him and also mary clearly having gotten over the idea of having children, assuming she wanted any in the first place. i personally feel like joseph was lying to you when he said ‘heeeyy me and mary are through lets fuck’ because he didn’t even hesitate or even take time to let himself recuperate), theyre most definitely staying together for the sake of the children. a divorce can really hit one kid hard, let alone four.

now had joseph and mary really decided to stay apart for a while and joseph stay on his yacht, if mary were really abusing her children do you really really really think joseph would have left them all in mary’s care? why wouldn’t he insist she go stay at a hotel or with her parents or take them to his yacht himself? why would he leave the ‘abusive mother’ in charge of four children?

probably because, again, we were manipulated in game and out of game to believe that mary was a bad parent and wife. just because she chooses not to go find crish at the bbq really doesnt mean anything. she had 3 kids prior and i feel like she would know what shes doing by now in terms of having a toddler. everyone wants to accuse her of being a bad mother for not finding her toddler when its actually extremely normal for parents with 3 children to be aware of what the youngest will end up doing because having kids is a learning experience.

now is that a correct attitude to have? not necessarily but mary seems to know her children fairly well. she knows what the twins can and cant handle (ie; she knows they love horror movies, it’s not common but there are quite a few children who find a keen adoration for horror flicks at a young age), she knows that chris isn’t very outspoken (because he’s autistic), and she knows crish can survive for more than 5 minutes without getting into serious trouble (bcause she’s had to deal with 3 other toddlers).

the only times we really see joseph with any of the kids is with christie and they’re being happy and close. chris we can’t really gauge his opinion of either of his parents, and christian just bails at any chance he can get. christie seems to love her father, most likely her mother too. the kids arent aware they have marital issues because joseph and mary keep that private. they don’t want the kids to worry about their relationship.

mary doesn’t cheat, she just flirts because she likes seeing younger men uncomfortable. it’s funny to her and when a guy seems to want to take her up on her offer, she’s fully aware that he’ll back out when she starts getting weird about it which is why she says “don’t make checks your dick cant cash” she knows hes bluffing because its mary, she’s smarter than we’re led to believe.

joseph on the other hand, we are fully aware of two accounts that he cheated. robert and mc. had it been one time, i feel like mary wouldn’t hold much malice, especially considering she becomes close with robert. but somewhere in the middle of joseph sleeping with robert and mc moving to maplebay, joseph does it a second time, possibly a third if the timeframe allows it. now i feel like joseph started pursuing a sexual relationship with robert after roberts wife died and his daughter left because he knew robert was emotionally compromised but i covered that in a different post. but joseph knowing to go for someone emotionally compromised leads me to believe robert wasnt his first offense.

mary easily becomes friends with robert and i wouldn’t doubt it if she becomes friends easier with people she can bitch about joseph with. so quite possibly, joseph slept with several people that mary is now friends with (maybe not damien, that’d be a stretch. possibly neil, though. robert and mary seem to adore neil). that’s probably why mary is so upset with him. joseph thinks his cheating his completely to himself and the people he slept with when mary is waiting for him to admit it because every person he’s slept with has come to her and told her about it with the same story of “he took me to his yacht, told me you two were through, and then fucked me.” this feels slightly more reinforced to me since if i remember correctly, when examining the bedroom of the yacht, mc mentions how the decor is older in style.

mary should most certainly stand up for herself and call joseph out on her bullshit, just letting it happen isn’t healthy for herself or her family especially since joseph is part of the cause for her drinking problem at this point. but she cant, she wants to be able to wait for her kids to be old enough to understand their reasoning. joseph knows from the outside it looks like they have marital problems so he uses it to his advantage which only causes more and more problems. when it comes to joseph? mary is a pushover because she loves him but she’s so tired of all the lies. there is no doubt in my mind that joseph loves mary too, but the way he’s using her as a ploy to get laid is absolutely inexcusable.

its deeper than just “THEY HAVE ISSUES THEY NEED TO BREAK UP RIGHT NOW (and joseph needs to date my dadsona *heavy breathing*)” because when you take into consideration how they interact with the kids, how much each of them are fucking up, how old the kids are, how much time and money and custody issues it would take especially since at least one of them are most definitely in school and probably already has issues in his classes; a divorce isn’t doable. i get it, everyone only wants the best for these fictional characters, but not every abusive relationship is just like “let me snap my fingers and just leave haha! it couldn’t negatively effect anyone!”

i get how this can seem like im in favor of one character or the other, but i actually genuinely love both mary and joseph very much. they’re two of my favorite characters in the whole game and i’m only doing what i can to understand their situation.

Why Namjoon isnt accepted in the krap scene (and why thats a good thing)

  unpopular opinion and confession 

*****im not saying all krappers are like this btw chill ur dick

***also butthurt ppl dont come at me saying YEAH YOONGI TOO bc i shall make a post about him too i didnt forget about yall, always coming into namjoon rap posts and making it about yoongi

****My intention of this post is not to diss your faves or rappers in general. This isn’t a post that has the intention of throwing shade I am simply expressing my respect for an artist. 

I never really respected a lot of k-rappers. I do like some songs because they have a good beat but respect is something that an artist should earn. I respect rappers and groups like epik high, verbal jint, and tiger jk for influencing the krap scene for the good.

I wont touch on american rap but the krap scene is so generalized. Like hey have fake gold chains and a bunch of girls while I rap about shit that doesnt make people feel better about themselves with lyrics that i didnt even write. Many generalize culture, rap about degrading others, and you know all that shit. But let me tell you: RAP stands for RHYTHM AND POETRY.

POETRY

Listen anyone can have their different perspective on poetry and maybe to someone “squad shit it g ma” is the most well thought out poetic verse that they have heard. 

But rapping all started when people were in pain, when people were in dark time period in life and spilling out their feelings through rhyme made them feel better and got them out of trouble. I`m not saying you need a depressing life story to be a rapper (you dont need a chicken to recognize an egg) but rapping is way more than some beats and a snapback, its a coping mechanism, maybe not always for the artist but definitely the audience.

I sound so old when I`m saying this but rapping isnt just talking fast, its a lengthy process of finding strong and meaningful word play, to beats and rhythms which compliment eachother which is then it put together in one song almost like a prayer.

and don`t come at me with the WELL I LIKE HOW IT SOUNDS, because these days i swear to god ANYONE CAN BE A RAPPER, and thats how it shouldnt be. 

They get others to write songs for them, songs usually have no smart wordplay or meaning and just talk in slightly faster pace. (i definitely find rap flow and speed a plus point in rapping). 

Rappers who arents even all that shit get praised and recieve so much attention and go on judging others just bc their not AS famous.

(random thought i really dislike smtm) Rapping isnt a childsplay. Common korean rap communities like smtm etc are extremely trashy to me.

 In 2015 during bangtan`s vacation Namjoon released his first mixtape (legendary) which proved his ability to write lyrics in both english and korean, write lyrics about depression happiness life hope etc, he made a damn song DISSING rappers who only have flow and lyrics that don`t make sense AND SPAT BARS SO FAST IM LIKE BOI BREATH, he teamed up with a western artist and recieVED EXTREME APPRECIATION IN THE AMERICAN RAP SCENE. 

If you don`t know he started rapping at 13 because he was going through a really low point in his life. He then started writing HIS OWN lyrics about his feelings and educated himself in hip hop and rap culture (he listened to a lot of nas and tupac what a man). He then joined an underground rap team which he gained skills like free-styling and flow (BOY CAN RAP SO FAST BRUH). But definitely his raps are extremely smart. He uses so much worldplay their almost like a riddle you need to figure out. Not only that he can rhyme and compose and has the qualities of a true rapper who IS PASSIONATE ABOUT MUSIC HE LET DOWN  HIS FAMILY TO BE A RAPPER DESPITE HAVING SO MUCH GRADES

AND EVEN AFTER ALL THAT HE GETS DISSED IN THE KRAP COM-

Like when someone would think of k-rapper they would think Zico, Gd maybe, Jay Park, Dok2 (and if you are fans of common krappers thats okay) but I honestly feel as if rappers like them are so common. To me they don`t show anything exceptional. Its like comparing Eminem with Lil yatchy (you can like either and thats okay) but Eminem did his own thing with no influence from the stereotypical culture. In shows like SMTM or unpretty rapstar you definitely see the rap community come together and Im like boi why isnt joon there he can own yall asses.

Namjoon however is on a whole different level. He does in own thing without the influence of popular culture (which refers to his message in his song DO YOU). He raps about things that are special TO HIMSELF and doesnt care about others opinions. He never thinks about what others might think of his song or what he should do to catch the attention of the audience. He does what he likes to do and goes with HIS gut.

Namjoon is a special snowflake and I dont want him to be thrown in the *oh look another korean rapper lets put him in smtm and not let them grow as an artist* pile bc I feel as if thatll take away his authenticity.

I`m kinda happy that Namjoon doesnt associate himself with common rappers because he is way better than that. He strives to collab with artists of his choice, his taste, and doesnt go for popular or common people. 

Like you know what I`m trying to say. Imagine an exceptional student who isnt really popular among the folks. and all the students who get like c`s or b`s are extremely praised and popular.

Don`t get me wrong despite getting SO MANY opportunities like 4 features in official songs from other groups (one being korean hip hop legends MFBTY), being in the 4 things show , performing at multiple festivals individually,etc. I really don`t feel as if he reached the legendary rap title yet. He definitely was close to being “part” of the community as in 2014-2015 his rap career was highly active but is on the low now as a individual. 

  I appreciate Bangtan as a group and all the contributions of all 7 members  but since BTS is a group who produces their own music, one member can`t just go off making MVs while their writers do the job for their (cough cough, bts dont got writers they got mean namjoon) I know he is busy writing for bangtan, producing beats, and a whole lot of shit for the group and he is happy with doing that but that also takes away time from doing his solo rap career AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT.

He doesnt care of not being able to produce music all the time to the likings of krappers. He cares about Bangtan. He knows his potential and doesnt need to highly promote in order to prove his worthiness. He can promote small mixtapes or covers for his armys and he is content with that. His intention isnt to get famous, as he always says: i do this for the  music not the fame.

He does his own thing and doesnt worry about the drama. He is too good for them. Someone who is beyond expectations doesn’t mingle with people who are popular. They dont worry about irrelevants. They just keep on focusing on themselves and how to grow.

I can`t wait to see him become so well known as a rapper (he already is so high up in his journey) that everyone who looked down on him now want to be him.

Namjoon is a person who expressed that their isnt a right wrong with hip hop just passion

anonymous asked:

hello!! i was wondering if you could do a single dad au for hyuk? thanks so much, your fics make me happy~

find others: taekwoon 

  • hyuk has a son whose name isn’t hyuk jr. but hyuk still calls him mini hyuk because,,,,,,,,look at him,,,,,he is literally a smaller version of him!!!!
  • same nose? same nose
  • even though he’s really young, only two, hyuk keeps telling everyone that he’s sure he’s a genius. that he’s going to go on to do grEAT thing. that this lil one is capable of anything, the presidency, pro athlete, next steve jobs
  • the rest of vixx was really worried about him becoming a father, but he’s proven that he’s taking it super seriously and would literally die for his kid,,,,,,
  • hakyeon is so proud of hyuk when he sees him being gentle and caring that he almost sheds a tear and hongbin is like jesus bro ur not his mom and hakyeon is like,,,my babY,,,,,,,raising another baby,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • taekwoon is like “can i play with you-” and hyuk is like “no, you might steal him and im not risking that.”
  • got matching baseball caps for him and his son dad hyuk is the cUTEST 
  • you’ve been hyuks neighbor since,,,,,,,,,well you can’t even remember and tbh you two are really close
  • the amount of late night video game parties you two had is ,,,, beyond count and everyone is always like “you’re dating” but you and hyuk were like LOVE? IN MY HOUSE? NO THANKS
  • but ever since hyuk became a dad, a single dad nonetheless, it’s been less video game parties and more “ill babysit if you’re busy bro or come over and watch this disney kids movie with me and my son”
  • and you and hyuk have always been friends, comfortable, trusting, really close friends
  • so it’s not surprising when he invites you to go furniture shopping with him and his son 
  • you push the cart with his son in the seat and make silly faces as hyuk tried to read the catalog and figure out where the nursury section is 
  • but then you hear it,,,,,,,,,,the voice of your aunt
  • and you barely ever see her because she doesn’t live in this part of town??? but you know it’s her voice and when she calls out to you,,, you stop dead in your tracks
  • and all you hear is a “oh my, has it been that long - you’re married and have kids now?!?!?!”
  • both you and hyuk turn around and you want to say “what- no it isn’t what it looks like-”
  • but hyuk loops a hand around your shoulder like it’s the most casual thing in the world and goes
  • “im their husband! nice to meet you!”
  • your aunt almost jumps for joy!!!! rushing over and going “a husband??? you got a husBAND,,,and such a handsome one too!!!!”
  • you look up at hyuk, completely confused at where he’s going with this, until he kisses the side of your face
  • “we meet a couple of months ago and they married me, even though i had a kid an all! they’re a blessing!”
  • your aunt looks between you and hyuk and you try to put on a smile and act like it’s all ok
  • but what???????is ?????? hyuk??????Saying
  • your aunt opens her mouth to say something but hyuk is like “oh! honey, we have dinner with ken later we better hurry up - sorry, i gotta steal them away again but bye!”
  • and with that, hyuk turns you around and hurries you away from your pestering aunt and down the next aisle
  • she doesn’t follow you,,,,,but you look up at him when you’re out of earshot and narrow your eyes, pinching his arm hard
  • “ow! what was that for?”
  • “for pretending we’re MARRIED?????”
  • hyuk grins, rubbing his arm and sending a kissey face to his son and you’re like hey hey dont ignore me
  • and he’s like “i mean, we’re basically married? you take care of my kid like he’s your own and are always at my place, babe we are SHOPPING together”
  • you wanna say something back, maybe about him calling you babe??? but at the same time,,,,,,,,he’s right
  • you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,are basically married,,,,,,,
  • and you can’t imagine your life without hyuk or his son for that matter and when you look down the little boy outstretching his arms to you
  • you can’t help but think,,,,,,,,what if - what if you and hyuk /did/ get married
  • hyuk leans down again, kissing your cheek and he’s like “wow, wanted to do that for a long time,,,,”
  • you playfully shove him, picking up his son in your arms as hyuk grins and watches you two
  • after a moment you look back at him and go
  • “han sanghyuk, i will marry you.”
  • “right here in this ikea?”
  • “yes”
  • slkdj you both break out into laughter but honestly,,,,,,you both know that this moment was destined to happen and even though it was in an ikea and not somewhere super romantic it’s fine
  • because you dont need the ring and the party - you just need hyuk and his son,,,,,,,,,,,,hyuk corrects you on your way home though because now it’s not his son,,,,,,is our son ^^ 
Never Again - Alec

Originally posted by strictlys

Request: heyyy i love ur writing and its ok if you’re having trouble with the spacing XD we all understand plus i love you so. yeah. And, i was wondering if you could write an angsty one with smut (if u write smut. its ok if u dont. and if u dont feel like it, its not necessary.) 

 Authors Note: I’m sorrrrrryyyyyy I know I take forever to write requests now, I’m just never super motivated to write anymore honestly. But, I was really feeling an angsty Alec imagine and this happened to be my first request 😏 as for the requester, yesss thank you for being understanding of my spacing and italics issue, I’ve got it figured out for the most part but it’s soooo frustrating, I usually have to post it completely smashed together then go back and add my spacing and italics, bolding, whatever, ah I’m rambling. Onto the imagine!

Warnings: crying, arguing/yelling whatever you want to name it, super angsty, happy ending though 

“I can’t believe you” you hissed as you stormed towards your room shaking your head, trying to hold yourself together. 

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