but it feels so accurate to how i remember a lot of my friendships when i was younger

PSA: A bit of info on writing psyche wards

i used to read all these fics when i was younger of people meeting in psyche wards and lots of fun stuff happened and it was great and they fall in love and etc. 

it ain’t like dat. let me tell you the truth. fandoms like dear evan hansen offer lots of opportunity for writing some ward fics. so here’s some pointers if you want to write an accurate ward fic.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Obi-Wan Kenobi? (and Leia too, if you don't mind).

Okay.  Leia and Obi-Wan.  I’m going to start with Leia, as my feelings and thoughts about her are considerably less complicated.  However, first a bit of background: The Phantom Menace came out while I was a teenager.  I had years of exposure to the OT before I saw any of the PT, and that still colors some of my opinions of characters.  Not in a bad way, I think, just that it’s part of where I’m coming from when I think about the characters.

I grew up with Leia, in a sense.  She’s a fabulous character, far from perfect but still someone I could identify with and like.  She’s far from helpless, even if we first meet her captured by the Empire and needing rescue by Han and Luke—and she demonstrates that quite ably shortly after being rescued when she’s the one who gets them out of the hall.

More, she’s strong-willed and determined.  She lies to the faces of these powerful, Imperial men and doesn’t give away that she’s lying.  That impressed me as a child and still does now, especially with the added nuance from Rogue One, showing exactly how blatantly she’s lying to Vader.  She also doesn’t hesitate to insult these men, who literally have her life and the lives of all her people in their hands.

Her relationship with Han isn’t the main focus of my interest in her, by a long shot, but I do enjoy their verbal sparring.

What really appeals to me about her is that she isn’t perfect.  She has a temper.  She can be arrogant.  She is stubborn to the extreme.  Yet she’s still inherently a good person.  When I eventually saw the prequels, I saw a lot of Leia in younger Anakin and Padmé.

One story that has really affected how I see her is “think our paths too straight” by irnan, link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6441909/1/think-our-paths-are-straight


My feelings about Obi-Wan are substantially more complicated.  I hate the way he manipulates Luke.  I always have.  I remember being really little and seeing him smile right before Vader kills him, and that moment had a really powerful impact on how I see him.  He committed suicide with Vader’s lightsaber so Luke would hate Vader and the Empire all the more.  Then later, we find out exactly what Obi-Wan is setting him up to do.

He set Luke up to hate and kill his own father, who Obi-Wan himself admits was his friend.  Keep in mind, my early reactions are without the benefit of PT knowledge.  So I was furious with him.  A lot of the time, I still am.  Yes, Vader was evil.  Yes, he was committing atrocities across the Galaxy.  But if Luke had killed him in ignorance and then found out?  It would have destroyed him.  And Obi-Wan was willing to pay that price.  I’m not even sure if he cared if Luke Fell as long as Vader died.  Not Palpatine.  Vader.  As we learn, fear, anger, and hate are the path to the Dark side.  Yet what tools did Obi-Wan use to ensure Luke would go after Vader?

There’s also his line about how if Luke won’t kill Vader, “Then the Emperor has already won.”  I was furious about that as a child, all the more so when RotJ ends making the exact opposite point: the Emperor would have won if Luke had killed Vader.  Instead, that mercy, that refusal, is what gave Vader the chance to believe he could come back, could defy Palpatine, to save his son.  That line is blatant emotional blackmail—and ablism, too.

At the same time, much as I enjoy being spiteful where Obi-Wan is concerned, the PT adds a lot of nuance to him as a character.  I firmly believe that Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan destroy each other on Mustafar.  Owen tells Luke that Obi-Wan died about when Anakin did—to my mind, that’s far more accurate than Luke ever realizes.

Obi-Wan is very much a product of his upbringing in the Jedi Order.  He cannot deal with how he feels about Anakin, so he overcompensates.  Unfortunately, this is the worst possible way to deal with Anakin, as it makes Anakin feel less like he can go to Obi-Wan with his mistakes and uncertainties: why would he, when he’ll just be criticized?  

Much of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is at cross purposes because they come from such different backgrounds, and that’s what makes it so unsteady at times.  At the same time, I love their relationship at the beginning of RotS.  That’s when they’re most interacting as equals and friends, and it could have been the start (or at least a point near the beginning of a progression) of a friendship that would have done them both a world of good.

Unfortunately, they don’t get to build past that point.

Obi-Wan seems to have three pillars of his existence that hold him stable.  One, the Order.  Two, his duty to the Republic.  Three, Anakin and the final promise he made to Qui-Gon.  And Anakin destroys all three of those pillars, in a sense.

Believing Anakin is dead, killed by Vader, is a form of coping mechanism, I believe.  It’s a way to distance himself from what Vader does and for him to absolve himself of the guilt of leaving the man he considered a brother to burn.

None of that, in my opinion, excuses leaving Anakin to burn or setting Luke up to kill his father.  Explains it but doesn’t excuse it.  Just like Anakin’s desperation and background explain his choice in RotS but do not excuse what he did.

Obi-Wan left Anakin to burn.  Maybe because he couldn’t handle striking the killing blow, but killing him with a lightsaber would have been far kinder than letting him burn to death.  I’ve always wondered if leaving him to burn was as much about vengeance for what Anakin had done.  

Then Obi-Wan finds out that his decision on Mustafar allowed Palpatine to “save” Vader.  He failed the mission Yoda set him, and the Galaxy suffers as a result.  He sets up Luke to complete that mission but also not to have the same dilemma, torn between killing a monster to save a galaxy and being unable because of who that monster is or used to be.

So to summarize my opinion of Obi-Wan, I think he’s very much a product of his upbringing, of the Order.  However, I enjoy being perpetually annoyed with him to varying degrees for some of the things he did, both in the PT and in the OT.  And whatever his reasons, some of the things he did are awful.

I don’t hate him, but he is inherently flawed.

Romano

Alright, I’m gonna finally stop procrastinating and write this post! Sorry about taking so long, anon, haha. 

So, what I listed in my introductory post was… wow, a lot. But I’ve put a lot of thought into this character, believe me, so I’ll hopefully be able to give you a bunch of info and stuff under each category! So! We’ve got likes and dislikes, which is basic character shit that most people know already, but, like I said, I’ll go a little more in-depth. 

A lot of this depends on your interpretation of the character, and what kind of AU they’re in, if it’s not canonverse. But, we’ve got some of the basics that probably should be kept the same, like an independent variable in science, right? So (and this is the bare minimum, imo), we all know that our boy likes material things, like pasta, pizza, tomatoes, so on. Food, I guess, haha. Also, Spain. And that doesn’t have to be romantic, if you don’t want it to, though most people will make it romantic. Such is the nature of Hetalia. It’s all gay. But, if you wanted it to be friendship-based, there’s a HUGE amount of canon material that shows that they are, at the very least, good friends. 

I’m gonna skip fears for now, and sort of continue this train of thought, moving on to personality and common misconceptions about his personality. So, in most works that I’ve seen, the key trait that I’ve seen portrayed is that our boy is, to put it simply, an asshole. And, anon, that annoys me too. There are so many more facets to his personality than that. Buuut, while on the subject of him being an asshole, I’m gonna ask this. Why? 

As a writer who puts a lot of thought into making characters believable, asking yourself that question is really fucking important. There has to be a reason a character acts a certain way, or it’s going to feel contrived and fake. So, let’s get an example out of the example box. Put on your hard-hats, guys. 

In canon, Romano acts like a dick, yes, to people he doesn’t know well, and even to people he does. So, let’s ask ourselves, why? There are tons of reasons. Romano feels overlooked and overshadowed by his little brother really early on, yes? That’s canon. People have tried to use him to get his grandfather’s inheritance, too, I remember him saying. I don’t remember the exact line, but that suggests that something has obviously happened before. And probably multiple times. Something important to remember is that if people screw you over too many times, it becomes really hard to trust anyone. I have experience with this. So, there’s one thing. He’s afraid of being used. And he reacts a little differently than some people would to this. Instead of just shutting himself away, he decides to actively push others away, as a sort of unsaid warning. “Don’t come any closer if you don’t want to get hurt.”

I didn’t even go into his insecurities about his brother, wow. So, people, following the canon example, he’s said that he feels worthless compared to his brother, being a worse artist and a much more rude person overall. Let’s go in a little deeper, shall we? Even though it’s not directly stated, that I know of, Romano cares a lot about how people perceive him. And this actually a really great chance for some angst/internal conflict. He wants people to think that he’s not someone to be taken lightly, yes? Because he wants to keep people away, he wants to protect his heart, he doesn’t want to get hurt. But, at the same time, he doesn’t want to be seen as the “asshole of Europe”. He wants people to admire him, like anyone would. And you know what, it probably hurts, a whole fucking lot, that he’s seen as the lesser brother. If anyone wants to argue with me on this, I’m just going to point something out. Romano’s the older bro, yes? Veneziano is the younger bro. But listen, my dudes, Veneziano is referred to as Italy by the whole world. I would feel bitter, and probably erased, too.

So, he’s got a lot of insecurities. There are so many chances to use them to your advantage, guys. And, luckily, with this character, I see those addressed a whole lot. Let’s move onto another common misconception. Or, more accurately, an overlooked character trait. 

Guys, Romano’s a fucking dork. There’s endless evidence for that. Every single one of his lines in the English dub, holy SHIT. Someone made a compilation, and I laughed for like five minutes straight. Even if you’re going to make something completely serious, just remember that time he tried to belittle Germany with a mustache. 

On the subject of serious stuff, this is a little side note, PLEASE REMEMBER TO BALANCE OUT YOUR ANGST WITH GOOD TIMES TOO! Really, my dudes, even if you’re writing an angst-filled historical fic, if it’s all heavy angst, all the time, it’s just depressing and honestly kind of unrealistic. And I hate to bring it up, but Hetaoni is a really good example of a fanwork that balanced out everything really well. To this day, I haven’t found anything that’s broken me inside as much as that fucking game, but somehow, guess what, it still had funny, lighthearted moments amidst the chaos. What a miracle. Well balanced stories can still break your heart. End side note.

Let’s see, what’s another common misconception that bugs the hell out of me because it’s not in character… Oh, yes. This one actually applies to both Italy bros. I’m going to say this many, many times, probably. 

Stop. Making. Them. Idiots. 

This is probably one of the things that annoys me the most. My dudes, I get that in canon, they’re portrayed as empty-headed, but fucking listen to me. If you’re going to write something that characterizes the bros realistically, they’re not going to be fucking dumbasses. Listen, guys. Hetalia as a whole reduces characters down to some of their most basic traits, being a parody, but they still manage to give nearly every character some depth. I’m gonna say it again. It’s a comedy, a parody of history. So, if you’re going to try to write some angsty, realistic historical thing (I love those when they’re done right), don’t just make the circumstances realistic, make the characters realistic, too. There’s no way that Romano, being alive for over a thousand years, doesn’t know how to hold and shoot a fucking gun. Remember the mafia? Those are some scary motherfuckers. 

I feel like I have so much more to say, but I don’t really remember it all right now, so I’ll probably come back to this post later, haha. Anon, if you want to chat about m’boy, I’m always up for a conversation!! I love seeing different people’s perspective on characters, so I’d probably love to chat with you! Have a good day, everybody!

Away

Title: Away

Genre/Rating: Angst/Feels - T 

Summary: Fictional Tom has taken up a particular habit in memory of recent lost Love and receives some wise words that help his grieving process.

Author’s Notes: Based on personal experiences and conversations with friends, and partly inspired by Away - Chris Mann.  Thank you to @i-wanna-be-toms-body-pillow for being my beta.  I encourage everyone to participate in Fictional Tom’s actions.  A simple Google search can lead you to the appropriate location. :)


He did it because he knew she would have wanted him to.  He did it because it helped feel like he was doing something to help save lives now that he couldn’t help hers anymore.  He did it because the place was oddly peaceful, from the time he got out of the car and was greeted by the smell of the lavender bushes that formed a kind of fragrant wall of protection around the building to the time he stepped out back into the world.  It had struck him on his first visit, instantly making him think of her shampoo and the long brunette waves that he saw now only in pictures and memories. He took it as a confirmation that this was the place she would have chosen.

Keep reading

The Bawson Situation™: a meta that absolutely no one asked for...

I was reading this interview of Kylie’s, and it got me thinking.

Everything she said in there is true, but I just really feel like breaking it down some more because I love to torture myself and suffer.

WARNING: This thing is so long and incredibly overanalyzed and highly cheesy.

Keep reading