but it feels so accurate to how i remember a lot of my friendships when i was younger

PSA: A bit of info on writing psyche wards

i used to read all these fics when i was younger of people meeting in psyche wards and lots of fun stuff happened and it was great and they fall in love and etc. 

it ain’t like dat. let me tell you the truth. fandoms like dear evan hansen offer lots of opportunity for writing some ward fics. so here’s some pointers if you want to write an accurate ward fic.

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anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Obi-Wan Kenobi? (and Leia too, if you don't mind).

Okay.  Leia and Obi-Wan.  I’m going to start with Leia, as my feelings and thoughts about her are considerably less complicated.  However, first a bit of background: The Phantom Menace came out while I was a teenager.  I had years of exposure to the OT before I saw any of the PT, and that still colors some of my opinions of characters.  Not in a bad way, I think, just that it’s part of where I’m coming from when I think about the characters.

I grew up with Leia, in a sense.  She’s a fabulous character, far from perfect but still someone I could identify with and like.  She’s far from helpless, even if we first meet her captured by the Empire and needing rescue by Han and Luke—and she demonstrates that quite ably shortly after being rescued when she’s the one who gets them out of the hall.

More, she’s strong-willed and determined.  She lies to the faces of these powerful, Imperial men and doesn’t give away that she’s lying.  That impressed me as a child and still does now, especially with the added nuance from Rogue One, showing exactly how blatantly she’s lying to Vader.  She also doesn’t hesitate to insult these men, who literally have her life and the lives of all her people in their hands.

Her relationship with Han isn’t the main focus of my interest in her, by a long shot, but I do enjoy their verbal sparring.

What really appeals to me about her is that she isn’t perfect.  She has a temper.  She can be arrogant.  She is stubborn to the extreme.  Yet she’s still inherently a good person.  When I eventually saw the prequels, I saw a lot of Leia in younger Anakin and Padmé.

One story that has really affected how I see her is “think our paths too straight” by irnan, link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6441909/1/think-our-paths-are-straight

My feelings about Obi-Wan are substantially more complicated.  I hate the way he manipulates Luke.  I always have.  I remember being really little and seeing him smile right before Vader kills him, and that moment had a really powerful impact on how I see him.  He committed suicide with Vader’s lightsaber so Luke would hate Vader and the Empire all the more.  Then later, we find out exactly what Obi-Wan is setting him up to do.

He set Luke up to hate and kill his own father, who Obi-Wan himself admits was his friend.  Keep in mind, my early reactions are without the benefit of PT knowledge.  So I was furious with him.  A lot of the time, I still am.  Yes, Vader was evil.  Yes, he was committing atrocities across the Galaxy.  But if Luke had killed him in ignorance and then found out?  It would have destroyed him.  And Obi-Wan was willing to pay that price.  I’m not even sure if he cared if Luke Fell as long as Vader died.  Not Palpatine.  Vader.  As we learn, fear, anger, and hate are the path to the Dark side.  Yet what tools did Obi-Wan use to ensure Luke would go after Vader?

There’s also his line about how if Luke won’t kill Vader, “Then the Emperor has already won.”  I was furious about that as a child, all the more so when RotJ ends making the exact opposite point: the Emperor would have won if Luke had killed Vader.  Instead, that mercy, that refusal, is what gave Vader the chance to believe he could come back, could defy Palpatine, to save his son.  That line is blatant emotional blackmail—and ablism, too.

At the same time, much as I enjoy being spiteful where Obi-Wan is concerned, the PT adds a lot of nuance to him as a character.  I firmly believe that Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan destroy each other on Mustafar.  Owen tells Luke that Obi-Wan died about when Anakin did—to my mind, that’s far more accurate than Luke ever realizes.

Obi-Wan is very much a product of his upbringing in the Jedi Order.  He cannot deal with how he feels about Anakin, so he overcompensates.  Unfortunately, this is the worst possible way to deal with Anakin, as it makes Anakin feel less like he can go to Obi-Wan with his mistakes and uncertainties: why would he, when he’ll just be criticized?  

Much of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is at cross purposes because they come from such different backgrounds, and that’s what makes it so unsteady at times.  At the same time, I love their relationship at the beginning of RotS.  That’s when they’re most interacting as equals and friends, and it could have been the start (or at least a point near the beginning of a progression) of a friendship that would have done them both a world of good.

Unfortunately, they don’t get to build past that point.

Obi-Wan seems to have three pillars of his existence that hold him stable.  One, the Order.  Two, his duty to the Republic.  Three, Anakin and the final promise he made to Qui-Gon.  And Anakin destroys all three of those pillars, in a sense.

Believing Anakin is dead, killed by Vader, is a form of coping mechanism, I believe.  It’s a way to distance himself from what Vader does and for him to absolve himself of the guilt of leaving the man he considered a brother to burn.

None of that, in my opinion, excuses leaving Anakin to burn or setting Luke up to kill his father.  Explains it but doesn’t excuse it.  Just like Anakin’s desperation and background explain his choice in RotS but do not excuse what he did.

Obi-Wan left Anakin to burn.  Maybe because he couldn’t handle striking the killing blow, but killing him with a lightsaber would have been far kinder than letting him burn to death.  I’ve always wondered if leaving him to burn was as much about vengeance for what Anakin had done.  

Then Obi-Wan finds out that his decision on Mustafar allowed Palpatine to “save” Vader.  He failed the mission Yoda set him, and the Galaxy suffers as a result.  He sets up Luke to complete that mission but also not to have the same dilemma, torn between killing a monster to save a galaxy and being unable because of who that monster is or used to be.

So to summarize my opinion of Obi-Wan, I think he’s very much a product of his upbringing, of the Order.  However, I enjoy being perpetually annoyed with him to varying degrees for some of the things he did, both in the PT and in the OT.  And whatever his reasons, some of the things he did are awful.

I don’t hate him, but he is inherently flawed.


Title: Away

Genre/Rating: Angst/Feels - T 

Summary: Fictional Tom has taken up a particular habit in memory of recent lost Love and receives some wise words that help his grieving process.

Author’s Notes: Based on personal experiences and conversations with friends, and partly inspired by Away - Chris Mann.  Thank you to @i-wanna-be-toms-body-pillow for being my beta.  I encourage everyone to participate in Fictional Tom’s actions.  A simple Google search can lead you to the appropriate location. :)

He did it because he knew she would have wanted him to.  He did it because it helped feel like he was doing something to help save lives now that he couldn’t help hers anymore.  He did it because the place was oddly peaceful, from the time he got out of the car and was greeted by the smell of the lavender bushes that formed a kind of fragrant wall of protection around the building to the time he stepped out back into the world.  It had struck him on his first visit, instantly making him think of her shampoo and the long brunette waves that he saw now only in pictures and memories. He took it as a confirmation that this was the place she would have chosen.

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The Bawson Situation™: a meta that absolutely no one asked for...

I was reading this interview of Kylie’s, and it got me thinking.

Everything she said in there is true, but I just really feel like breaking it down some more because I love to torture myself and suffer.

WARNING: This thing is so long and incredibly overanalyzed and highly cheesy.

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