but it dragged on forever jfc

ok so imagine this:

  • Eggsy being particularly good at like Resisting Torture and Interrogation training. 
  • like they literally try to freeze him to death and he just grins at them like, alrigh’ smallfry, wot’s next, already did this when I wos ten, try ‘arder.
  • He’s spent most of his life being hurt and unable to fight back, because Dean would’ve tortured him when he was a kid, before he learned to mask away the Good Child altogether and turned into someone who can take a hit.
  • Eggsy would’ve taken it too, because it’s either him or it’s his mum or Daisy and he’d rather die than let that happen
  • Plus he’s from one of the shittier parts of town, so everyone else in his neighborhood contributed to his ‘education’ too.
  • Merlin being really impressed that a young man can handle something even grown men flinch away from, before realizing just what that would entail.
  • Merlin talking about it to Harry and roping him into doing some research
  • the two of them retroactively turning into raging, overprotective lunatics
  • because by the time Eggsy was ten, he already had more broken bones than Harry’s had during his entire tenure with Kingsman
  • and the time with the hypothermia and the cigarette burns gone septic
  • Eggsy just standing off to the side and facepalming because tHAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO WHY ARE WE AT THE HOSPITAL NOW?! Broken bones don’t take years to heal, Harry, what the fuck. Jfc, Merlin, if you don’t stop menacing the nurses I s2g.
  • but he feels warm because they’re being idiots, but they’re his idiots and they’re reacting badly to his being hurt even if it was forever ago and he can’t stop smiling even as he tries to drag them back to HQ.
  • which, Harry Hart and Merlin are forces of nature, by themselves. Good luck trying to tame their combined power when they’re on a rampage about something that they Strongly Believe In, or whatever.