but it doesn't matter anyway lol

anonymous asked:

You write so so well. I was wondering if you could do a Shitty comfort fic? I never read anything that explores his character (most people use him as the scapegoat now, it seems like). I would just like to see something with him having a hard time and receiving comfort from Lardo or Jack. Timeline doesn't really matter.

This turned out longer than I expected. Also more cheerful, but I think there is enough emotional content. I love thinking about Shitty and Jack, and how they have this ridiculous close relationship despite being so different on the surface. I am a HUGE fan of bromance. Anyway, enjoy!

Jack: What are you up to tonight, Shits?
Shits: This stupid fucking 1L mixer. I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fucking screwdriver.
Shits: SAAAVE MEEE!!!!!
Shits: lol jk brah

Jack wasn’t sure what exactly made him do it, but he made a beeline for his car. There was just something about Shitty’s text that left a bad taste in his mouth, a tight feeling in his chest. Jack was worried – not that Shitty would literally do the screwdriver thing, of course – but something told him that Shitty needed some help. A warning flag in two little letters – ‘jk’ – just kidding.

Shitty had a flair for the dramatic. His texts would had seemed completely normal if they had ended with the first two… but they didn’t. And maybe Shitty was completely fine and Jack was worrying for nothing, but… maybe not.

Too often in his own past had he voiced his true feelings only to dismiss them as a joke. It had almost cost Jack his life. So this time around, Jack would rather be safe than sorry. He made it to Cambridge in record time, and and hour and a half later Jack was wandering the Harvard campus, hopelessly lost, in search of the fabled ‘1L mixer’ from Shitty’s text.

He found it ten minutes later and cautiously entered the room. Was he even allowed to be here? Jack was not sure. Either way, he was glad he was still wearing his suit – sweatpants and yellow sneakers would definitely make him stand out like a sore thumb. He spotted Shitty about twenty feet away and tried to catch his attention.

Shitty glanced over and Jack waved. His friend stared for a moment, narrowed his eyes, and then turned back to his conversation with a few fellow law students. It made Jack wince. Maybe he was not welcome here after all – even by Shitty. But this was Shitty, his best friend. Even if he was embarrassed by his old jock friends, he would not ignore Jack completely in a room full of people like this, right? Jack’s heart started pounding and his palms began to sweat. It was weird of him to just show up at Harvard like this, uninvited. He did not even live in the same state. Shit. This was a mistake. No wonder Shitty was ignoring him. Maybe he could sneak away before anyone–


(More after the cut)

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"who asked tho?" (the signs' replies)
  • Taurus: you did by saying what you did so loudly, dumbass
  • Gemini: Bitch nobody even needed to !!!! FREE SPEECH MOTHERFUCKER
  • Cancer: ... no one :/ ...who made you such a little bitch tho?
  • Leo: You did but you're a nobody compared to me so I'm not really sure why you're putting yourself in this position :// smh
  • Virgo: Who said I needed to be spoken to in order to speak? Nobody, bitch ! Check yourself
  • Libra: LOL that was a lame attempt at sass, nobody asked but I said it anyway.
  • Scorpio: nobody.... *lights the person on fire while they sleep*....bitch
  • Sagittarius: Honestly are you looking for a fight? You're gonna get one if you don't shut the fuck up.
  • Capricorn: Me? I asked. *flashes stack of money and walks away*
  • Aquarius: Who gave you the ability to speak tho? it should be revoked .... if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it
  • Pisces: You did? Didn't you?? Oh well it doesn't matter... what matters is we've all discovered what a huge bitch u are : )
"You look ugly in that."
  • Aries: FIGHT ME!!!!!!!
  • Taurus: but i feel nice in it so fuck u
  • Gemini: nO I DON'T I LOOK GR8 M8
  • Cancer: oh......... ok *sulks*
  • Leo: lmao you're just jealous
  • Virgo: I can literally say ten thousand things that are ugly about you right now hahahahahahaha
  • Libra: oh yeah I guess
  • Scorpio: you look ugly in everything but you don't see me complaining, do you want me to complain now or what????? (just straight up savage tbh)
  • Sagittarius: You'd be uglier in it tbh
  • Capricorn: lol your opinion doesn't matter u pleb
  • Aquarius: oh u right, I look better wearing nothing ;)
  • Pisces: *sobs* *buys it anyway bc they know they look CUTE AS HELL*

Gintoki is sparring with Shouyou, and for a moment he thinks he’s doing okay - feet sliding in automatic response to Shouyou’s moves, practice sword slipping through the air to parry and lock with Shouyou’s, then Shouyou smiles and says “You’re doing pretty good, Gintoki. Can you block this?”

The sword disengages so fast that Gintoki can’t see it, slipping beneath his defense, and-

And he thinks for a moment that Shouyou will not stop; just sees the blade whistling towards his neck, heart going to ice and chest filling with cold, and thinks, in a moment of terrible, perfect calm, with his heart gone something hot and cold in his painfully tight ribs, that he is going to die. (Years of fighting for his life have forced this knowledge onto him - missing a blade, letting it slip past his defences, means his death - and he is dead, he is going to die with blood spluttering from a gash in his neck and there will be maroon stains on the warm wood floor, his body crumpled and bloody in death-)

Shouyou stops (of course he does). The practice sword is poised right at the side of Gintoki’s neck, rough wood against sensitive skin, and Shouyou smiles - “That was a good try, Gintoki,” he says.

It takes a moment for his heart to start beating, two for his chest to come loose. He takes a breath and it is shuddery, shaky, and for a moment he hates himself for being so stupid, for ever believing-

-he clenches his fists by his sides, scowls. “Not good enough,” he says, and backs away, practice sword up and ready. “Let’s go again.”

(And ten, twenty, thirty bouts later the sword touches his neck and he doesn’t so much as flinch, just scowls and glares at Shouyou and says “Again!”)


“Your teacher or your friends, choose whatever you want.”

He is something like seventeen and the ground is tilting beneath his feet, gone strange and spinning and he is falling - and the world is coming apart at the seams, right before his eyes. His breath comes shaky and shuddery, and his heart has gone something hot-cold in his too-tight chest, sickness rising in his gut and bile clawing up his throat. He thinks, in a moment of terrible, not-quite-sane desperate pain, that he is going to die; and he wonders what would happen if he turned the blade on himself, ran himself through instead of making this terrible choice.

But Shouyou made him promise, Shouyou made him-

He smiles and his chest comes apart, less loosening and more falling, splitting right in two, torn apart and shattered on the ground and he can’t breathe - he lifts the sword and his hand shakes around the hilt, fingers gone bone-achingly tired, throbbing with blisters and grip hot and sweaty. His heart and chest have gone dry and empty, vast and wide and hurting, hot with panic and cold with terror.

“Thank you,” Shouyou says- and oh hell that is the same smile, the one that he gave Gintoki every morning and night for years (“Good morning, did you sleep well?” “Stop fighting with Shinsuke and go to sleep, you’re a hundred years too early to stay up past midnight.”) and there is something aching in Gintoki’s chest, making his fingers tremble and breaths shudder and he-

He slices his arm through the air.

And he sees the blade whistling towards Shouyou’s neck (he will not let himself look away) heart going to ice and chest filling with cold, turning something hot and cold both at once and Shouyou would have stopped, Shouyou always stopped-

(gintoki trusted him to stop)

-Gintoki smiles; eyes burning, and his sword cleaves through the air, and

Gintoki does not stop.


And it is so funny- life goes in circles, he is standing back at the same place all over again. The same story told on a different tongue, the protagonist powered-up like some cheesy manga with training arcs and random special attacks; except that this protagonist is Gintoki, is weak - this protagonist never powers up quite enough to win. The story is so simple (so stupid, so corny, so cheesy - rinse and repeat the same damn thing), and it goes like this:

Shouyou is smiling.

Utsuro is smiling, but for a brief, ugly moment it is the same thing, because he’s smiling that same damn smile, and Gintoki wants to puke, wants to be sick because this is all wrong, this is a nightmare, he cannot breathe. That is the same smile that Shouyou smiled every morning and every night, that warm gentle grin worn over breakfast in sunlit dojos and bedtime stories huddled together by lamplight, and Gintoki can’t do this, not again.

(He can’t do it again, for all that he sparred hundreds of times with Shouyou as a kid - for all that he once demanded more and more, again and again. This one time, he can’t. He wants to stop, he’d rather die.)

He is suddenly so tired. Everything aches, everything hurts, lungs on fire and heart frozen in ice and the taste of old blood on his tongue, hand gone limp around his bokuto. He sees the blade cleaving towards his neck and it is the past in negative, light turned sharply to dark and wood twisted into steel, but the smile is the same and the style the blade is wielded in is so familiar it aches, it makes him want to throw up and shut himself away and not speak, not act (not breathe, sometimes).

The blade whistles through the air towards his neck and Gintoki should move; but that’s sensei and sensei’s smile, and 

A million scenes play out in front of his eyes, warmth and laughter and “a hundred years too early"s, Takasugi’s laughter and Katsura’s smiles and Shouyou’s warm hand on the crown of his head; and something sick and hurting wells in his chest and eyes because this is the same person, the same face, same smile, same sword style- and the dead shouldn’t come back to life, not as different damn people, don’t they understand how much it hurts?

(he trusted Shouyou)

And there are these: a sword cleaving towards his neck and breaths stoppered in a too-tight throat and lungs burning, lungs on fire, heart pulled apart in a million directions and trust still there because Shouyou always stopped, over and over until Gintoki believed it, that Shouyou would never hurt him-

Shouyou - Utsuro - it doesn’t actually matter - does not stop.


(Kagura stops him anyway.)


Gintoki takes a breath, readies his blade, and gets ready to go again.

  • aliya's thought process during a floor routine
  • before: awww ffs should have thought about what i'm gona do before now
  • a few minutes before: actually nah it's fine i usually just wing it anyway. right, lets stand on my toes who cares if i break them
  • just before: oh here we fkn go cba but i kinda can
  • during: oops went out of bounds oh well doesn't matter the judges love me anyway
  • falls out of a spin: lol i always do this
  • falls out of another spin: oh cool did you see that move i made up there, wonder if i covered up the mistake
  • falls out another spin: actually i think i made that look quite good
  • continues: wave my arms a little that'll do the job, christ is this not over yet i literally have no idea what i'm doing
  • does another pass: how many passes have i done? oh was that my helecopter legs one?? cool, doesn't matter i never get deducted for that anyway. might as well add another arm wave
  • crowd cheering: yusss crowd love me woohooooo can't wait to get home and see all the cats that aren't actually my cats
  • continues: oh wait lost my train of thought what am i supposed to be doing
  • does final pass: thank fuck, now i'm just gona curl up here on the ground
  • finishes: oh mate cannae even be dealing with this, but i was pretty good
  • finished: rollin my eyes bc it sometimes works for afan


anonymous asked:

So fast forward 20 years or so and marinette and adrien know each other's secret and get married. They continued their lives as superheroes but also started their own personal lives together. Everyone knows Ladybug and Chat Noir are together but still wonder who they are. Adrien and marinette have a child who at the age of 13 or 14 somehow obtains their own miraculous and meet Ladybug and Chat Noir who help them understand the gift. They don't realize it's their kid and neither does the kid.

AU: After the brutal murder of her parents, the Evil Queen takes Princess Emma under her wings. Despite being told not to, she practices magic whenever she can. Aside from some minor incidents, such as accidentally disrobing the Evil Queen during one of her Council meetings, she does pretty well. That is until she comes across a spell book, when she casts one of the spells, Emma Swan appears before her, ripped from another timeline. While the Evil Queen quite enjoys this new addition to their relationship, there is one small, deadly detail none of them were prepared for.

anonymous asked:

I dont think you know what stilettos are. Her shoes were kitten heels at best. They are the most comfortable high heel and not very high. Just saying. The more you know.

Still impressive, I couldn’t run in heels, no matter the size, hell I can barely even walk in heels unless they are wedges. To be honest I’m not a fashion expert so high heels = stilettos to me lol. 

Also, so what? Still impressive that she is running in heels, doesn’t make a difference if it is stilettos or ‘kitten heels’. After googling kitten heels, I’m still pretty sure they are bigger than them anyway (looks double the size to me).

Still impressive to run through a forest, i.e mud, logs, water etc and stay standing up and outrun a damn t-rex in high heels, no matter the size. Bravo Claire/Bryce!


anonymous asked:

Who do you think is going to win the GPF? To be honest, I don't think it will be Yuuri because that would be too cliche, he might even get second place like that one time. And I'm totally sure that if he doesn't win the gold, they will get married anyway because SCREW IT LOL

Honestly I strongly believe there’s a 50% chance that yuri wins, because no matter what Victor will still love him, and besides we all know that the true prize is Victor and yuuri’s mutual love 

anonymous asked:

My one complaint is that Warren IS romancable in the game so why not here? Doesn't matter to me really anyways though I ship pricefield lol

This is a fan game set in a different AU, so it won’t follow the normal rules of Life is Strange. 

As a side note, if you ship Grahamfield or Caulscott, this VN is probably not for you. 

thevegancowboy  asked:

This monk came to speak to my college about Buddhism and she was talking all this shit about non violence and causing the least amount of suffering you could and I asked if she was vegan and she said no because even if you are field mice are killed during harvest so it doesn't even matter what you eat and she said she tried to eat vegetarian and I was so pissed that she could be such a fucking hypocrite.


You should have smiled and said ‘do you know how much of a hypocrite you are when you compare deliberate killing with incidental killing??’

That is like saying ‘It is ok to mug someone because they are going to spend their money anway and be with out it’.

It is ok to rob people because they will give that money to someone else anyway and that is the cycle of life - cycle of the economy.

I shot and ate my neighbour last night. They had a good life and I shot them in the face for instant death. Local, free range and technically home grown because they share the same building as me.